Donnell - Ashy Christmas

Episode Date: December 25, 2021

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I'm sick of this! I want my props! Uh, baby, I think you should read this one. You know what? I can let the world know, Santa Claus is black. It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Santa was chillin', about to step out. Skipped through my mail and guess what I see? A letter from a girl that was mad at me. Dear Santa, stop it.

Yo, I'm supposed to believe, but I'm supposed to believe with no gifts I receive. You never visit my crib, not now, not never. Whatever, you never visit my crib, not now. I heard, whatever, you never visit my crib, not now, I heard I'm nothing for her, the Santa Claus was black, can you please tell me, is there any truth to that, so I loaded up my reindeer and fired up my sleigh and said, come on mother, it's Christmas day, so I started doing rounds, all through the town, all the kids made up, as the sun went down, Christmas girls and the Santa's sleigh bells And handmade toys made by Mexican ales

Santa Claus ain't just coming to town He's running his town, but damn That was the wrong Timmy to go down With my ho-ho-hoes and the rain deers Caught some geese, drew them, signed it, told them Wait right here, I was delivering a gift For this little kid outside And the whip.

It was two of pigs who buzzed in and said, stand up, put your hand up. Yo, I'm standing up. No, you're nothing but a gangster. Look who it is. What? What are you doing up there? I'm delivering gifts, man. I got a gift for you right here.

Burglary. It's Christmas, man. You're going to be a burglary, my friend. Ho, ho, ho. Why don't you get up against the car there, Steven? I want to see some I.V. right now. Come here! Come here! What I do? Nobody's gettin' presents, cause Santa went deaf I tried to show the world, but no one believed me I show up at your crib, the distance how you see me

All I see on TV is that same white drink A white man tryna play a black Saint Nick I'm not an angry man, I'm as chill as a joint But even Santa Claus got his breaking point You know I keep it real, I can't leave Christmas like that. I never leave a child's empty wishes like that. It's a white man's world, but this is our plan. Could you please be my one and only witness to that?

Hey! You stupid! You've been tricked! A black bitch! Mary, kiss my ass, Santa! Tis the season to be jolly Fa la la la la la la la la You must be joking, huh? Did I get a hit or what?

You smoking Santa Claus, huh? Black, black, black, black Tis the season to be jolly You must be joking, can I get a hit of what you smoke in Santa Claus' cup? In Santa Claus' cup. This the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la la la la la. Fa la la la la la la la la. Fa la la la la la la la la. Fa la la la la la la la. To the North Pole.

La. Yo, turn this off, son. La. I'm Santa Claus. I'm Santa Claus. All right, cut that shit. All right, do we get it? No.

La la, damn it. Hey, Santa. Black Santa. Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la la la la la. I did that video probably 10 years ago. Really? 10 years ago.

And every year, of course, it's not a song that you listen to all year because it's a Christmas song. But every year I get a kick out of watching that. I did it with Ben Ricky. You remember Ben Ricky? The movie. You don't remember Ben Ricky? You look the same though. No. You don't remember Ben Ricky the movie you don't remember Ben Ricky you look the same though

no you don't remember Ben Ricky Ben Ricky from Los Gatos when we did that movie Car Babes oh my god Ben Ricky yes

that video that's why when you said how was I in there that whole crew yeah if y'all don't know if you might not know

who it is it's a good friend of mine this is a special Christmas edition. Javanta is somewhere, but not in no disrespectful way. She's somewhere recovering from the Corona. Oh. What?

I said it's a role? That's the truth. She tried to act like she ain't got Corona. Bitch got Corona. I mean, you get Corona, you get over it. She said,

not in a bad way she's gonna be better but i'm saying get well nicky's my friend from years and years and years and it was so interesting because of the video that you guys just saw the whole crew production list destro nicky what's the dude name um nick nick ben and it was one and what was the dude that was into the development shit he was a millionaire he had his father had a business whatever it is that same crew

we did this video together okay and it's like and you asked the question because this is how it happened the video

Ben Ricky I got this idea I think he was smoking some weed or whatever he was like what would happen if Santa Claus

was black and then he showed up coming down people's chimneys and shit. I was like, that nigga will get shot in Brownsville. And he came up with the idea of this Black Santa thing. And we just did that movie. And we did that. And it was funny.

I thought it was funny. Did you think it was funny? I thought it was hilarious. You look very ho, ho, ho. Shut up. Don't even start. You told me to come ready Christmas I come Christmassy

no you didn't come Christmassy you didn't come Christmassy I said do you have an ugly sweater that is not an ugly sweater hey listen I'm not gonna go buy a sweater times is hard for people I'm not gonna buy a sweater just for one day I'm telling you cause we do have some freak motherfuckers

that watch this show. They like when people drop posters behind shit. They could be like this, yo, son. I don't know if she was an elf or whatever. That's what I was going for. Elf. You look elf-y. Yes.

Elf-y. Thank you. I'm Delphi. Delphi. You elf-y. But I like yours, the Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang. Keith, my man Keith, gave me this.

Wu-Tang. You can never go wrong with a Wu-Tang sweater. It's not ugly, though. It's not ugly. Because even if it was ugly, it would balance off because I'm so motherfucking fine. What type of laugh was that? No. Was that a laugh like, this nigga must be on something?

What is he smoking? What type of laugh was that? I feel fine. Good. I'm not fine? You're beautiful. Whenever a motherfucker stutters, they trying to figure out some shit. I said, am I fine?

I didn't say beautiful. I didn't say, was I beautiful? I said, am I fine? And you said, you're beautiful. I said you're beautiful yeah i know i think you're hot man yo come on son you peg i'm not talking to a dude that possibly peg wait what is a peg your peg is google it google it heather go google peg i don't do anal i'm not a peg man well some people that say peg did they say it's not anything to do with any type of sexuality, just like you was in that moment.

And you give me the impression that you, one of those guys, could be in that moment. I just fucking supported you, man. You called me a peg. I didn't ask for your support. I want no support on this show because I already know the direction it's going to go and the direction it always goes. It goes like, oh, it's cool, and then ha, ha, ha, jokes on me. And I'm not going to let y'all distract me. For one, I just had a birthday happy birthday

belated it was a wonderful party for two I just went I had another experience of my life and for three 2021 was a bomb ass motherfucking year I concur how was it bomb ass motherfucking year. I concur.

How was it bomb for you? I had more time to do things that I've always wanted to do. 2021 or 2020? Both of them. Both of them. And it just 2020 was good for me. It continued to 2021. I did lots of traveling.

Once things started opening back up, I went to Africa. That's what she said. When things started opening back up. You didn't wah, wah, wah. You know, you say when she started opening up, that's when she said, okay, go ahead. That's when I could travel again, when things start opening up. One thing I can say, we were talking about this off camera, and I've been knowing you for some time, and we've both been in the business for a while, and we both had a certain level of success. But what I really appreciate about you, and I know this is a quality in a lot of people

that made it through the pandemic. Some people, you had two people during the pandemic. You had people that made excuses and then you had people that made opportunities. And you was one of those people that was making opportunities. And even if it wasn't, this is what I feel, and I know this is almost two years later,

even if it wasn't anything for the moment, it was something that you continue to do to just keep your brain going ahead of, I have to do something. Nothing can stop me, and I'm going to keep focusing until I get what I want. And even if I don't, this is the most important part people need to know.

Even if you don't get what you want along the way, as long as you're having fun along the way. You know? Yep. And I think that's why we stayed in contact this, what, last over 20 years almost? Right. Is because we're both that person. Hustlers. Like, if things aren't going right in this aisle we're gonna make another aisle and we're gonna make it work what is fun what's funny i know i hear snorting and everything i just gotta

say down now i'm not okay with being called a pig right listen man because i just googled that wait wait slow down slow down slow down i've done that i said i know this is what I said I said you got peg energy it's still the same it's not the same you're insinuating that I would let a female strap out a dildo and anally penetrate her male

is what it says and I'm here to say that's not right okay it could be fun I'm saying that you give up Peggy energy. Heather just said that can be fun. I don't know if she's a pegger. No, no, no. I've been a pegger. What? You've pegged somebody?

This has nothing to do with Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. First off, this is the Christmas special. Yo, wait a minute. Wait a minute. We're on a whole different thing. We're on a whole different thing. And we're going to switch directions because this is festive. Cheers. Cheers. So wait a minute. We're on a whole different thing. We're on a whole different thing. And we're going to switch directions because this is festive. Cheers. So wait a minute. I already

know the color of the person you pegged. Because you know what I usually date. That's not something new. Why does it got to be a white guy? Yo, I'm telling you, I don't know how you know what peg rules are, but if I think of you had like a group of people, you wouldn't point out the black guy to be a pegger.

Don't. A lot of my white girlfriends have pegged many black men and many that you know. You won't get into names. See, that's the devil. See, that's why I don't mess with them devils. But I feel like the black guys won't let yo wait a minute slow down slow down there's a lot of listeners talking about like nigga you don't fuck with white bitches

girl bye they like this I know my comments boy bye Amber Rhonda it was Shanika it was one of the white names Karen Lisa

Tammy it's a lot Ambers like about two Ambers It was, what are the white names? Karen. Lisa. Becky. Lisa. Renee. Tammy. Jasmine. It's a lot of ambers, about two ambers. About two ambers. About two ambers. How did you see, you distracted.

Let me tell you something. When you're doing this podcast, son, you have to continue the conversation. What you did was you distracted us, and I'm starting to become a number one podcaster in terms of how I flow the show. You distracted the show. My apologies. You can't do that. And that's why I say that if anybody looks like they could be pegged, it's you. You got peg energy, son.

All right, fine. I claim it. Look, see how quick you gave up on it? Were there peggers at your birthday party? I'm sure of it. Any peggies? I'm sure of it. At my birthday party, it was, first off,

thank you for coming to the birthday party. Any Peggy's? Of course. Everybody that's here was at the birthday party. Thank you, Samson. Samson's wife came.

A big thank you to Heather and her crew at Mad Cab because Heather and Elizabeth, we call her Elizabeth, they did a good job of putting this party together.

Y'all killed it. And Athena was killing it. They came to Hollywood, they Buckeye bitches. Oh, Ohio. Yeah, O-H-I-O. They O-H. They like Buckeye. You ever ate a Buckeye? No.

It's like a chocolate peanut buttery candy. And the first bite you take, you feel like you had diabetes on the first bite. Is that sugary? Yo, is that sugary? It's like Popeye's sweet tea and the chocolate. Yes. Oh, wow. It's like you can just feel your blood pressure going up and everything.

But they did a good job at this party. And this is the thing about this party. It was my birthday party. I go to a lot of parties. For the most part, I go to people's parties and their birthday parties and turn them into my birthday party. So I usually have fun at other people's birthday parties. They look at me like this, nigga, it's my birthday. What are you doing? I'm like,

we having a birthday party. So whenever I had, probably the last four birthday parties I've had, they always start off in a way where people always question me like, Donnell, you having a good time? You having a good time? And I don't have a good time until I start seeing other people have a good time. Yep. I could fall back. I don't have to dance.

I don't have to do anything. But the idea we had of this, it was going to be a cannabis-infused dinner party slash release for the Who Up, We Up strand. And by the time of this podcast, it would be in at least 200, 300 dispensaries in L.A. But it was a celebration. I called it the birth of a man, birth of a strand. I was more focused on getting the strand out and the brand out. And then

Heather and Elizabeth did a great job of bringing people together that I really care about. And I like that people would travel. You know you're doing something right when motherfuckers fly in. And you're doing something wrong when motherfuckers fly in. And you're doing something wrong when they train back

out. They train when they have a budget. But this party is put together so well. You came. You always come to the stuff. You know I like to party. Always. And we're going to party tonight. But this is the dope thing about it. It's this undisclosed location.

Hold on. Wait a minute. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Undisclosed. I'm scared. Right. Yo. And that was like, and so many people told me, nigga. They was like, oh, okay.

Where are we? So, yeah. We're just going to make it quick. Say hello to Donnell and we're going to leave. But it's in this area that you wouldn't think that what was about to happen happened absolutely not right describe it well first

what was you saying I wanna know I was stepping over trash and homeless you didn't step over no homeless bitch you didn't it wasn't no homeless it was some trash't it wasn't no homeless it was some trans but it wasn't no homeless there was a whole tip factory down around the corner around the corner not here not here you had to see it driving in looking for parking right and then i was like i see people

walking in the door i literally sat in the car for 15 minutes trying to scope out the place right and i'm like let me see if people are dressed up because I was dressed up too. So I was watching people walk in and then you walk in, you go up this creepy spiral staircase. It wasn't creepy. It was just spiral. But you know when you're in heels and a long gown. Oh yeah, it comes creepy because that's what

niggas always at the end of the spiral keep doing like this. And people looking at my dress and stuff because it's a spiral. But then you walk in and it was just lavish, elegant. There was the whole corner that had the weed tents. We had a weed stand. First off, shout out to THC Design. That's the company that I partnered up with.

And I just released a strand called Who's Up, We Up. But even before I became on the board, it was successful. Crow House, everything. Everything is legit. It was it was just a good like they're good people and we're gonna do some good things with them but when you walk in and i was saying to myself even when i went i was like oh people gonna be nervous and shit but once you're like okay you don't know what's going on we got some footage of it you don't know what's going on and then you hit a door it's like a speakeasy it's just easy to say a speakeasy. It's just energy. It was so good.

And I walk in. I get greeted by everybody. And I love that you kept it, you know, with your close friends. Right. And it was just like that energy because no one's coming in on no bullshit. Right. And you just felt comfortable as soon as you come in. You know what the toughest part is when someone else is planning your party?

You want to be a part of it, but they don't want you to be a part of it. They try to push you away when you try to figure out shit and they're part of this and i'm gonna tell you this is one of the things that made this party so dope the music the dj yeah sidekick i'm just gonna say i'm not gonna say no names heather elizabeth i'm not gonna say any names but so you know i don't know if white people know how important music is to a vibe right so it was like we're doing all of this stuff and i was like we're gonna need a music we need a dj we don't know if white people know how important music is to a vibe, right? So it was like, we're doing all of this stuff. And I was like, we're going to need a music. We need a DJ.

We don't have DJ. We're not going to have a DJ. The sound system is $250 million. There's no room for a DJ. I was like, we have to have a DJ. And Heather likes to do this. If she's mad about something, she'll keep a straight face, but she starts slamming shit.

You know, like I almost got hit with Twinkies, donuts, a Sharpie. I think I got hit with my weed one time, right? So you don't want to bring that shit to her, because for the most part, she's always right. Every so often she's not. And in this case, she was like, no. I want to tell my story. I was wrong.

No, I'm going to tell the story how I'm going to tell it. Okay. It wasn't just wrong. See, this is what happens. Motherfuckers talk a lot of shit, right? But when they're wrong, they want to be like, okay, I was wrong to tell this or I'm going to tell it. Okay. It wasn't just wrong. See, this is what happened. Motherfuckers talk a lot of shit, right? But when they're wrong, they want to be like, okay, I was wrong. Let's move on. We're going to extend this out. That's how women are.

That's how women are. If you fuck up, they want to talk about that shit for years, nigga. And bring it back up. Yeah, they be like, okay, like remember back in 2004? You think I forgot about that? You still on that bullshit. They want to drag it. When we,

when they get, when they write, when we write about something like, okay, you're going to dwell on that. Let's move on. I don't want to move on. I want to move off.

And that was one of the things that our DJ sidekick, he killed that party. It was fun. It was, you know, everybody knows that I'm big into the food side of it. So I was like, how do we incorporate everything I do into one event? Six course

meal. Fucking six course meal. Everything was great. Came out perfect timing, perfect temp, perfect everything. Wine bar. A bud bar. He had every bar that everybody needed. Yeah, but you know what? We learned a lesson. With the bud bar. He had every bar that everybody needed. Yeah, but you know what? We learned a lesson.

With the bud bar, we learned a lesson. It's like, you can't make too much weed accessible to motherfuckers. Our people was fucked up. Yo, niggas was looking. The eyes were shut. Look, I knew we had too much weed when I saw motherfuckers

looking back. Yeah. It's we had too much weed when I saw motherfuckers looking back. It's a certain amount of weed you can gift yourself. And there's no pressure of, am I stealing this, right? But it went from like a gram, like, oh, you got a courtesy gram, right? To motherfuckers whispering like, yo, watch over there. They was like, watch the door. And whispering like yo watch over there they was like watch the door and we had no security over here

I saw a motherfucker I saw whoever had Ziploc bags your brother I saw yo son you a snitch

see a snitch see white dude snitch your brother Donnell he lives at 1860 yeah from Watts your brother but it was like

it was just like an unlimited amount and people was taking advantage of it and I want to just go up and be like this you don't have to do that

it's it's good but what we planned on moving forward because we're going to do this again is that we're going to have

someone tin the butt bar butt tenders that's a good idea butt tenders that's nice Heather yeah because the whole the butt tender idea of it's like it's not good idea. Butt tenders. That's nice, Heather. The butt tender idea is like, of course you're going to get a gift bag when you leave,

but we want the experience to be like, would you like to try this? You know what I'm saying? Would you like to try this? And on what we had displayed, Heather, what was it? XJ13? Yeah, Garlic Crescendo. Garlic, not Crescendo. Who Up, We Up. Heather what was it XJ13 yeah garlic

crescendo garlic not crescendo who up who up it was delicious we had like a lemon one a lemon one grapes and cream

but what I'm saying is this is what I'm saying about that is that the people I invited these are people that are weed connoisseurs

some of the people Miss Laura they have their own weed shit going on everybody that tried this was like yo this is the shit the sewers. Some of the people, Miss Laura, they have their own weed shit going on. Everybody that tried this was like, yo, this is the shit. Y'all did yourself. And you know who I was

going to be the hater? Who? Your man. Oh, Urkel? Urkel. Oh yeah, with his, yeah. Yeah, this nigga, I'm like, yo. He was killing it. He was smoking them. What, purple? No, yours. Yes, right. Urkel, let me tell you something. I know you got your little weed, your purple shit going on.

Don't you ever pull up to my spot with your weed and pass your weed around. He didn't have his, did he? That nigga was passing niggas the weed on the low. Oh, no. Heather got three tubes. Oh, no. Yeah. That's rude.

You know, I mean, I fuck with him. No, it's not rude. No, it's not rude because this shit is fire. I know, but still. It is rude. Yes, nigga, you was rude. This is your launch for your strain. That's right, nigga.

I ain't bring my shit up to your purple waffle ass goddamn party. Exactly. Exactly. But I'll accept your apology before then because you my man. He ain't gonna apologize. He won't apologize. He's done apologizing he was making waffles

at your party I would've ate a waffle though I'm not gonna hate you man we ain't talking about his shit he good fuck y'all keep talking about Urkel full

cause you I mean I think I think the next day you were packing those tubes up and taking them with you out of my purse so people that are

listening to this right now y'all saw two white people snitch in two minutes. Like, two white people snitched back to back in less than two minutes. At least black people take a long time to snitch. White people snitch in a matter of fucking seconds. What do you need to know?

They didn't have to read no rights. They didn't even know how much time they would do. They was like, we have to give them the information. I know the answer. Yeah, I know the answer know the answer well donald you did break a law yeah no but i would never shit on ergo because whether i respect him we support each other's correct shit he came there he saw the space he wanted to do something there his shit is good so his stuff was good enough for you to walk off your own show oh yeah your podcast when you hit that vapor first of all first of all first of all we are not going back in time remember as women

as jamaicans say ever forward never back quads for the people that don't follow my pockets like that urkel brought his little bitch ass weed to my show. And he had this goddamn pen. And he was looking, nigga already got sleepy eyes. The nigga eyes always look like he up to something, right? And he was like, hey, I bet you can't hit this. I was like, nigga, who you talking about?

This is my show. Some special shit he had. He said, I bet you can't hit it. I forgot what it was. What I had to do, I had to inhale as long as I could. So I was like, what? I think I was looking around. I said,

and then he said, keep going. And then it got caught. And I disappeared on my own show. So with that said, for him to have the type of shit he got and to come to my shit and see the type of shit I got, it's some good shit. Yeah.

And it's not. Try to be both. This is what I like about it. This is what everybody says about it. Is that, like, I'm a hybrid sativa dude. I don't want to, like, just be like, oh, fucked up. But it's a good strand because it makes you feel good. It makes you get energized.

If you got anxiety, I've known some people that's like, yo, man, not to say they got mental issues because anxiety doesn't mean that you're mental. It's just that you have anxiety. It's just one of the only things that helped them with it. And the shit is just like, it's a vibe. You want to do something. And even when we came up with the idea of having this party, and our idea of pushing this strand, I was like,

I don't want to push the strand before I push the vibe. The vibe we created there for the birthday party, that's where I want the strand to represent. I'm telling you, I have your package because I don't smoke. You know that. I don't smoke, but I wanted don't smoke but I wanted to keep it because it had your face on it and I'm a weird friend that likes to keep stupid shit like that

but it had been opened because someone wanted to pull some of the stuff out but there's still stuff in there I mean it looks like it's still closed who the fuck is the somebody that broke your fucking package open well you know someone that came over you know you had to get it right

I respect that a package open. Well, you know, someone that came over, you know. Oh, you had to get it right? You had to get it right? Okay. Okay, alright, alright, alright. I respect that. So how are we going to get there, daddy? But I'm telling you, but I'm telling you. Wait a minute. That shit, though, it's sitting on my dresser across the room. Right. It's been there for a week. Right. Every night

it's permeating my entire bedroom. Alright, nobody want to hear about the permeation. but now to this point it smells it smells so good I don't smoke but I've been wanting like do I have paper somewhere because I just want to smoke it the streets want to know

you said you had somebody coming over you wanted to get right I met him but what I'm saying he hit the motherfucker who's up he was fucked up you're still missing the point. At your birthday. Close. Oh, it stayed intact.

What you trying to tell me? Now, who's up? Eyes closed. Had different meanings? Oh, he was up. Bravo. Bravo. Bravo.

Who's up? We up. That party. That party. And the thing about the party was shout out to Jose over at THC he's done doing a great job

he kept on saying oh man we're gonna make this party great for you it's gonna be a great party the cake and every time he said the cake he would look away

like the cake like he don't want like he said this cake is fire this cake is fire Heather this cake is fire Elizabeth this cake is fire. Heather was like, this cake is fire. Elizabeth, this cake is fire, right?

Was that the only, that was the only dish that was infused, right? Yes. The only thing, so we saved the infusion for the end. But when he was talking about it, I was like, I made an announcement. I said, I don't want no confusion with the fusion. It's infused.

And the cake was so good. Yo, motherfuckers was eating the cake. It was so good. They kept eating the cake. I didn't eat it because I was scared. Let me tell you something. At about five o'clock in the morning, my phone was blowing the fuck up.

Yo, motherfuckers was like, yo. Them motherfuckers was like this. Happy birthday. Yo, nigga, what the like this, happy birthday, yo, nigga, what the fuck did you do to me? My brother called me like, yo, my brother Charles,

he said to me, I'm not trying to be funny, but this is how he told me, he told me, I ain't never had no weed hangover. I was like, what was in the can? What was in the can? He was like, that was cake, he said, because he talked like he was like that was cake

he said cause he talked like he confused that cake was kind of different I was like uh uh I was like uh uh what was in that cake that cake I don't know how many milligrams or whatever you call that shit but that cake was that's why I was scared to have a bike cause I had to drive home I'm like I cannot

do this it was so good that cake was so's why i was scared to have a bike i had to drive home i'm like i cannot do this it was so good yeah cake was so strong i mean i was i was eating that cake and and i was already before or after the pig i was already pretty messed before pig or after pig after pig okay i was already messed up and i just realized now because i didn't hear you make that announcement and i am pounding that cake um more than halfway through and and your pr woman who was there she goes how's the cake can you taste it and i was like taste what and it was over that cake was i feel like you guys made it he must have already been high because y'all made it very clear that that cake was infused multiple times I might have been me I was one of those guys but we stopped the music and said

it again no over and over especially with that cake and with Spiral Staircase we ain't getting sued we're not playing you know but it was good and that was the beginning and it was so dope that was my birthday and I never I've never done this normally I'm the type of guy like yeah just get the birthday over with right but I've never done this where

I said you have to be a certain person to claim birthday week because i'm such an asshole and i talked about the last episode that people want my shit to be over at 12 midnight so i knew that i had the opportunity to take a trip to the middle east abu dhabi uh formula one race it's the abu dhabi classics or whatever it is. It's held at Yaz Island. Yaz. Big one. It's a big one.

Yes, it's a big one. On Yaz Island. And that was like the seventh, right? It was right after my birthday. I was like, yo, fuck this. I'm going to claim this shit. And I extended the birthday to Abu Dhabi. And when I tell you, that trip was so dope.

Will you remind? I've been there before. But this is one thing about, one of the best things about traveling is when you can go, Heather, if you think you're whispering, you're not. It's not whispering. I just want to say, if you think you're whispering, you're not. Okay, well, since I interrupted you, just a shout out to Scooter's Treats. Oh, that's how I was.

Good job. What was it called? Scooter's Treats. Scooter's Treats. Scooter's Treats. Boy, you treated the shit out of us. Was that the cake? Yes, shut it down.

But this was a transformation before we got to the cake. The weed bar, after everybody stole all the weed, it became a cake bar. So, oh man, Heather and they did such a good job with this shit. It was so dope. But what was I saying? No, you went to Abu Dhabi. Oh, Abu Dhabi.

And it was an experience of your life. It was my third time in the Middle East. Okay. Sex time. My second time in Abu Dhabi. That's the richest part of the the Middle East. Okay. Sex time. My second time in Abu Dhabi. That's the richest part of the fucking Middle East. That's where the princes are. Yo, it's them chic niggas out there.

Yeah, lots of royals. The biggest names, it's a lot of Mohammeds. Fahid. And if you like really think, if you like profile people for ISIS, it's a lot of ISIS names over there. Like Hassans, Mohammeds. I'm not trying to start no shit, but usually

when it's an ISIS joint, nigga got Mo or Al in his name somewhere. Were they pretty cool, Donnell? Man, they was so cool, man. First off, I was being hosted. Good friend of mine, Yusuf,

he's the U.S. ambassador of Dubai. Oh, wow. Okay. He used to be under the Obama administration, went to Georgetown Law. Cool-ass motherfucker. Anyway, I got to know him. You know, I do a traditional show at the Improv in D.C. Thanksgiving, and he would come for years.

He was a fan of mine through the Chappelle Show. So one year, his wife reached out to me. She was like, oh, I'm having a surprise birthday party for Yusuf. I want you to be the surprise guest comedian. And I was like, okay, we can surprise him. And this is why that shit was so funny. Where this nigga live, right,

there's three checkpoints before you get to his house. How do you surprise a nigga with three checkpoints? Rich, rich. Yeah, that's rich. No, he from, they like natural resources rich. Yeah, that's all oil money. Yeah, oil money is on the whole. Oh.

We in the air, I have money. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, them niggas be having yachts and go inside of yachts with a yacht inside that yacht to a helicopter. Correct. So I've been hosting about Good Company. And every year he takes a group of people over there just to have a winter break and have a good time, enjoy it over there. First year I went, it was so dope. And then like.

I'm coming to the next one. First, let me tell you how dope. Let me tell you how dope the first time I went was. You had to look around right now. Austin was conceived in Abu Dhabi. That means you done lost your mind

in Abu Dhabi. No, I got my mind right, nigga. Oh, no, man. If you want to make a baby, nigga, stay in a seven-star palace for a while, son. You be skeet with gold flakes. That's why when I went this time, it was like, it was just skeet for fa'eed of them niggas. Fa'eed of them niggas.

You get a skeet and 24 carrots. How is Jared Kushner? I did see your picture. You sent me that with, what's her name, Ivanka? First of all, what I'm trying to tell you is, the guest list, I didn't create the guest list. I didn't create who's going to go there. I know the first time I went, it was Democrats,

it was Republicans, it was all type of motherfuckers. But guess what, people people I just want to be clear just because someone does not share your political views doesn't mean that you can't be around them

like at the end of the day you know I'm saying like everyone just wants a party you said how was it hanging with the devil guess what when i'm going to party with the devil and i have i at least want to know what he looks like and at least i know what the motherfucker looked like but it's motherfuckers you motherfuckers try to be critical you You were hanging around. And you're being around the devil.

And you don't even fucking know it. You don't even know it. And that's why Jerry Kushner. How was it hanging out with Jerry Kushner? Why'd you say it like that? It was so sinister. Don't like him. You don't like him.

But what the fuck does that have to do with me being in Abu Dhabi when a nigga ain't even talking about you or me? And I wasn't hanging with him. You were brokering business deals. I wasn't. All right, stop being an asshole. Because I know what you're going to do. You're going to write him off.

No, that's where the devil, your brokering business deals. Get that money down now. No, I wasn't. I couldn't broker a conversation with him. Even though I saw him and Ivanka. We was at this little gathering. And I saw Ivanka Trump.

Just as pretty in person? Let me tell you something. I've been to a lot of farmer's markets. I've ate a lot of quinoa. Quinoa. What is it? The Q shit. I've had a lot of quinoa quinoa quinoa what is it

quinoa the cute shit I've had a lot of that you know what I'm saying been around a lot of yoga pants lemon lulus lulu lemons with rescue dog

fair and everything but gotta say I don't know it is not the bitch was stunning yeah she's beautiful

I don't care and I've seen and it's not just because she's white, because I've seen that in women before. But she just, and she's a tall bitch too. I mean, I can say bitch, right?

Yeah, yeah. She's a tall mega bitch. She's so beautiful, her own daddy loves her. Yo, I don't know about that because my age difference, don't even do that age difference

because I can't have the same. Talk about her daddy, daddy. He don't like her. He was just saying the whole thing. What's the whole thing? He like her. That nigga don't like her. He like her like her? Yes, he like her like her.

You're talking about if I was single. What did he say? If I was single, I would do her. He said I would do her? Yes, thank you. There we go. Does she have ass though, Dono? No, she has no ass. I would do her. He said I would do her? She wasn't my daughter. Yes, thank you. There we go. I would do her. Does she have ass, though, Dono? No, she has no ass. She has flatter ass than me. Yo, she got ass?

Who you asking? You got ass for a white guy, Nicki. First off, I don't like me personally. Hello. I'm not like a ass type nigga. Oh, good. Nah, I'm like medium to small. So some of y'all still exist, because people, girls like me, without an ass, we need to know that you men exist. Niggas don't know. Niggas don to small. So some of y'all still exist because people, girls like me without an ass, we need to know

that you men exist. Niggas don't know. Niggas don't know. Let me tell y'all something. Let me put y'all on the ass game. Let me put y'all on the ass game. You don't want too much ass. You know what I'm saying?

Why? What's wrong with it? Donald Trump. Here's the list of creepy things Donald Trump has said about you. All right, let's talk about his ass, son. Can you tell me what's about big ass? Tell me what the problem is. I call it like, I call it like bathing suit ass.

You know, it's that ass that just looks good in a bathing suit. Yeah, it looks good in everything. Like, just enough. Like, them big joints and motherfuckers doing these. I can't stand these bitches, man, with these Brazilian, all this shit for ass. Like, I don't, this is what I don't understand. Why is it so important for you to have ass when it's only going to make somebody appreciate an asset that you shouldn't promote?

True. True. I'll take a smart bitch with a flat ass over a fat ass bitch that's dumb as a motherfucker. Can you tell God I'm gonna share that on my Instagram? Can I get a quote from this? I'll take a flat ass and I can deal with

over a ass that only... If you think you control me with your ass, you lost. I don't understand why these bitches don't understand that I just gained confidence in this whole

this one show and you know why because I know like medium to flat ass bitches be having problems they're like we are here we are one we are a woman raising our hand come on I'm smart no I'm telling you I'm telling you

I'm telling you niggas listening to me right now. You want to build a multi-million dollar corporation, nigga? Get a flat-ass bitch. Flat-ass. I just hit my ass. I just hit my ass, son. Yo, bitch, don't put too much attention to ass. Yo, man, if I see another motherfucking look back at it video,

and this is the thing that would be killing me. It'll be like this. You'll see a video like this. It's like this. Like, oh, shit, popping ass, popping ass. And two posts down, yeah, we out here joining with my son. This is my heart and all that type of shit. I'm like, so you think, so they, niggas

clicking on both of them. How you balance it off? I know it's okay. I know it's important. Yeah, but that's what y'all like. Ladies, understand this. If the biggest asset you have is an ass,

you will lose. And you're going to lose in the long run. It's always going to be another ass out there. I'm not hating, but I'm telling you, if that's all you're pushing,

yeah, but I get likes off of that. I'm going to draw them in. Man, get the fuck out of here. I just want to see some different shit. How much ass did you see in Abu Dhabi? What's his name, Williams? What's his name? William? What's his name? He's one of them. Jared Kushner.

No, he has a black name, not Abraham. Paul Ryan. Not Paul Ryan. Oh, yeah, you did call me with Paul Ryan. Yo, what the fuck, Kurt? Yo, let me explain. What's Deborah Raleigh? She's on Kennedy Center.

Armstrong Williams. Armstrong Williams. Yeah. You're a rich nigga. And I just want to know, because there was drama with F1. I was talking about asses. With Hamilton. No, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not going to put all the black stuff together. Now you're talking about Armstrong, me, black. Now you want to talk about Lewis Hamilton because he's a black NASCAR dude. I wasn't talking about that. What was I talking about that before you really interrupted me? I was talking about women and their ass. Fat ass.

I was like, if your only asset is your ass, then you're going to be set. Yeah, you're going to lose. Yeah. Oh, bad. That's what it is. Yeah, but that shit look good. Man, fuck that shit.

I'm just saying, is there anything else you can do? Is there anything else we can do? And then you get my, this one's fucked up. My friends get mad. You are, you're putting the bait out there. And then when a nigga hit on the bait, you mad.

And they're saying there ain't no good men. And men are only about to bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get caught in their ass, get caught in their brain. saying there ain't no good men and men are only about some bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying, don't get caught in their ass, get caught in their brain. You men better listen. Back to me not hanging out with Paul Ryan.

Not or hanging? I wasn't hanging, I had dinner with him. You know what? I'll tell you this. I'm not embarrassed to say that I spent three days in his company in his presence. Oh, really?

I'm not embarrassed to say that. Three whole days. Yeah, the reason why, because the person that brought us together is a good person. Was it Jeffrey Epstein? Oh, my word. Oh, no. He's dead. No, he's not.

Epstein's shit. He's living on his iron. Epstein's shit. Most people that went to his parties look just like you. And you look Epstein-y, motherfucker. You edit this shit, get a close-up on your face. And don't this motherfucker look like he's getting on a plane. Don't he look like he's getting on a plane?

He's like, what are we going to do? It's whatever. You look like that. It's whatever. We're going out of the country, right? Is it safe? Doing code words and shit. Yep, Jeffrey was in a control room just like him.

Control and shit. It was a situation I hung out with some people. We had a good time. We had great conversation. It was fucking dope. I was there for what was considered to be one of the most controversial finishes to a F1 competition.

Lewis Hamilton. One of the biggest names. Fine as fuck. The biggest. If he's not number one from the UK. He can get it. He could get it? Oh, absolutely.

We're going to talk about that, too. You can take me to the next one. Lewis Hamilton is the biggest name in NASCAR, whatever you call it. Right. Young dude, black dude, dreads and all that type shit. And people like this. But this is what they try to say. This is what they try to say.

A guy that races cars over 200 miles an hour needs to slow down. Lewis Hamilton needs to slow down on the bitches. The dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's what you heard? yeah because people get envious of Percy's lifestyle like yeah he's going through all these chicks boy I know motherfuckers

that have gotten promotions at UPS and try to fuck everybody break room after that this dude make 50 million dollars a year nice looking guy he's in the sport that's filled with adrenaline every top prospect in the world get your fuck years get your fuck years everybody deserves their fuck years everybody deserves your fuck years when can you get over your fuck years

how long does the fuck years usually last you're a you know. It's a continuous thing with me. But it does go up and down. You don't know. It's a roller coaster. Yeah, it's like, I won't fuck much. I won't fuck too much this year. Maybe next year I'll get them. Yeah, 2019 was a good year.

I think I could just maybe even skip a year or fuck. But everybody has their fuck years. I do have a question, though, for you. Yeah. Because were you one of the only black people in this group that you were in? No, I wasn't. I was with a handful. One of my guys, Bernard, he's a business guy out of D.C.

He came up in a boxer world. He used to be a part of Riddick Bowe's camp. And he's a black dude that's made wealth for himself just taking advantage of the connections he's met through the business. The guy who, Armstrong. Armstrong Williams. That was just me, Armstrong Williams, and my guy Bernard. But then it was a sprinkle of other black guys.

Like the night that I met or was around Ivanka and Jared, Robert G. Smith. You know who that is? Google that. Robert G. Smith. This motherfucker who that is? No. Oh, Google that. Robert G. Smith. This motherfucker. I was around him.

What's he do? He's one of the- Wealthy. Richest black, non-African niggas. Oh, wow. In the world. You got it? Robert G. Smith.

Robert G. Smith. Because I'm just curious, it's like when all the drama was happening with Hamilton. Wait. I know being a- Robert G. Smith? Because I'm just curious when all the drama was happening with Hamilton. Wait. I know being a... Robert J. Smith and then Bob Johnson. Oh, okay.

Bob Johnson, BET. He was in the top 10 of richest billionaires, black billionaires in the country. Correct. And this is why you got to be careful

with the chicks you pick in your life. He was in the top 10 and they got a divorce. Divorce. I'm going to take half of that. And he built the shit back up. Did you get it, Alex?

Yes, he's worth. He's a. No, no, no. We want to hear you. Okay. Wikipedia. Yes, he's a businessman. He's the CBO of Avista Equity Partners.

And it seems like, according to this, he is worth $6.7 billion. Damn, is he cute? Doesn't matter. It does. I am one of them bitches that care how they look still. Shut the fuck up. I've had wealthy, wealthy. Nikki.

But sometimes I've been on the dates and I just can't let him touch me. Nikki. I'll let him touch me. Nikki. You'll get pegged, nigga. He was like this. Shut up, Donnell. You was like, I'll buy the old strap on. been on the dates and they just i just can't let him touch me nikki i'll let him touch me nikki you'll get pegged nigga he was like this shut up you was like i'll buy the old strap on you'll get a glow in the dog strap on for that nikki nikki you just said yo he's pulling up there yo listen oh oh i've seen him before yes okay okay nik you just said, and I don't give a fuck.

I absolutely know who that is. Yo, you just said, and I know there's a lot of white women that wouldn't agree with what you just said. There's a lot of black, white, Hispanic, Asian that don't agree. Because my thing is, I can't let an ugly nigga touch me. Okay, okay. Like, as much as I tried, I've been on the dates. Yo, you can say what the fuck.

I ain't never heard no motherfucker say. What you just said, you say, how much is he worth now? But niggas say, his net worth is $152. He has to be cute,

big dick, can cook, do everything he gotta do he gotta do it's a checklist to get pussy he gotta do

everything when you hear a motherfucker say net worth 6.5 billion is he cute I asked the wrong questions is he cute

I have to be attracted personally no look at the matchup with money. No, look at the matchup with money niggas. Look at the matchup. But this guy's cute though. Look at him. Listen, here's the matchup.

You have women, this is... I'm going with you next time. Correct me if I'm wrong. Right. You know how you see somebody or you see with a guy, right, a guy,

and then you be like, you see him with a woman and first thing you say is he's rich or what it's two things it's two things what he's rich or he's swinging swinging

right big dick yeah you can say it like I didn't see and I ain't even gay I didn't see some ugly dick with some bitches i'd be like that nigga got a big dick son but even like the thing is unless they were cute at one point where they met him like the big dick you won't even find out it's usually the money that does it for a lot of women because i have met a lot of women that just are they're attracted to power and money i'm powerful myself i am not they're attracted to power and money. I'm powerful myself.

I am not so much attracted to that. Power and money. See, that's an attraction. I was just talking before we started. We were talking about how do you get your pussy? We were talking about You were discussing that, yes.

Punk ass. Showing you under the bus. We were talking about how do you get your pussy. And we were talking about like, we were asking questions. I was like, this is how you get your pussy. Yeah. Be the best in whatever you do. Yeah.

And you'll get pussy. A lot of women are attracted to that. Me, I'm a looks woman. But I'm also like, I'm very masculine in many ways. Why do you look like a looks woman? Because, oh, that's for your pictures and when you go no no no no no it's just like as a man you've never done that I have but I was it didn't work because I was trying to do something that just you men like beautiful things right can you can you fuck with the ugly bitch no matter how smart she is and how much money she has?

Yes, I have. Yes, I have. No. And it didn't work? Like, what type of ugly you talking about? You think about the men you've seen with these beautiful women where you look at them and say, can you do that kind of woman?

Those women that are up top that want that young, handsome, dilf guy. I'm going to tell you. I know this may sound crazy. I can date all type of women. Okay. You know what I'm saying? And it's not, here's the thing.

People are like this, what are your standards? But what do you put your standards in? You know what I'm saying? I like good looking people. I know, but I've been in situations where it was that, right? The exterior was, oh, shit, oh, shit. And the interior was fucking ugly.

And it don't matter how fucking beautiful a person is, if your insides are ugly, you might not look ugly to the world, but you're going to be looking ugly to the person that knows you. But I'm talking about people that are ugly on the inside. I'm talking about choosing people that are great on the inside that happen to be great at looking on the outside, too. I choose. This is what I choose off of. What makes me feel good.

Yeah. Okay. You know what I'm saying? What makes me feel good? What makes me feel comfortable? What makes me feel like it needs me and I need them? You know what I'm saying? I'm going to tell you, when I've been out with these billionaires, you know, updated billionaires and multi, you know, multimillionaires and billionaires

I've been out with. And I don't find that my personality really, we can party hard together. Right. Cause they know that your money don't mean nothing to you. It doesn't. At the end of the day, you need to treat. You're not going to tell me what to do. Everybody bitches always talk about the end of the day.

What about the beginning of the day? The beginning. Look it. You see me. Beginning of the day. need to treat you're not gonna tell me what to do everybody bitches always talking about the end of the day what about the beginning of the day the beginning look at you see me beginning of the day we having a good old time that's what I'm saying the beginning of the day

everybody talking about the end of the day no bitch you had 24 hours fuck you talking about the end of the day we have a good time I party with princes

the Abu Dhabi princes I party with them we have some great times they wanted to fly me out there with them but at the end of the day you know it's not gonna work cause I do you know I don't party with niggas. I got a funny fight. Yes, I party with them. We have some great times. They wanted to fly me out there with them. But at the end of the day, you know, it's not going to work because I do, you know, who I want for my long term.

God damn it. But that motherfucker might not be the right term. I know. You never know. You said, you asked me earlier, you said, what do women, somebody asked me, Gina, singer, singer, singer Gina asked me, she said, what do the holes look like out there? In LA? No, she said in... Oh, in Abu Dhabi.

What do the holes look like? How they dress out there? I said, you can't see the holes out there. Or if you think they're the holes, because they wrapped up and shit. But you can tell by their eyes. I've done their makeup. But I'm going to tell you something.

I'm going to tell you something. Somebody said, what do they think? I ain't saying nothing, but I think this one bitch gave me an eye job. I'm telling you you can tell by the eyes because I've done their makeup. Yo an eye job. And you were like ooh. Like blink real

fast. They said what do you think you look like I was like I don't know. I got a couple of blinks like you know it might have been because I look different from everybody else there you know what I'm saying but I got yo cause they all about this shit it was the blinks but that it might have been because I look different from everybody else there. You know what I'm saying? But I got, yo, it's still, cause they all about this shit. It was,

it was the blinks, but that I'm telling you, that trip was so, so dope for so many ways to be able to hang out with some people that people might not really agree with. No, no. What did you make Paul Ryan do? I didn't make Paul Ryan do anything,

but there was a time. First off, when you hanging around with billionaires and millionaires, they love being punctual. And I'm a punctual person. They love being punctual to the point where if you're like a minute late, they fucking start shaking. We're going, it's Sunday, this is the they did all the pre-qualifying rounds and everything this is the day of the big race we're supposed to leave the Emirates Palace, mind you

palace, which means there's wings and wings they got golf carts that go outside like, hey are you lost? you can get an Uber inside of this so we're supposed to meet at 2 o'clock I've misunderstood where the location we're supposed to meet, and my friend Bernard. I misunderstood where the location we were supposed to meet. And my friend Bernard,

he's holding me down with all the white people. He won't let them leave me. You came down through with the CP time in Abu Dhabi. No, it wasn't CP. It was two o'clock.

I was where I thought I was supposed to be. So it was like, oh, we're at this West Wing loading zone or whatever. I'm like, cool, I'm on my way.

I'm on my way to the palace. That's a 10-minute walk. And they were like, come on, man, where you at? I'm gonna come and get you. So, I get right to the loading dock where I was supposed to meet them. I'm walking outside. I get a text from my friend. They're pulling off.

These niggas pull off in the bus. I could hear it. And mind you, I had a tailored suit on. I didn't have it off the rack. I didn't have it off the it. And mind you, I had a tailored suit on. I didn't have it off the rack. I didn't have it off the rack. Off the rack you got room to do all this shit, nigga.

I didn't have it off the rack. I had it only fits my body. My suit is so tailored, they only would fit me or ET. They're the only two niggas that can wear my shit right. So the bus is going. It's fumes coming out. And I'm like, hey, yo!

And I'm running behind this bus. And I'm running behind it. But I'm like, just fuck that. I don't know what mirror he's looking out of. So then I'm running zigzag. Because I want to catch both mirrors. I'm like, left or right. I'm like, yo, this nigga ain't even looking.

Yo! And they stop. And I was like, oh or right? I'm like, yo, this nigga ain't even looking. Yo! And they stopped. And I was like, oh, oh, oh. I'm mad as shit, right? It's Paul Ryan. It's my dude. Armstrong. Armstrong.

Williams. It's Armstrong Williams. And then a girl from the New York. And the Kennedy Center. Kennedy Center. She's a chairman. She runs it. She's a Kennedy Center. All these motherfuckers. I get on the bus.... The Kennedy Center. The Kennedy Center. She's a chairman. She runs it. Deborah, she's the Kennedy Center.

All these motherfuckers. I get on the bus. I walk in there. And I ain't give a fuck about political correctness or nothing. I got on the bus, right? Breathing hard as shit, right? Shirt all out my pants now because it's fitting. Right?

It's fitting. My pants is stuck to my calves now. And I went in there. I said, which one of you niggas said leave him? I wanted to get to the bottom of that. And I knew it was Armstrong, right? Because he don't want to be two niggas in the same place. And then I'm not wearing suits every day.

This nigga wearing suits. You know, this how I know motherfuckers got too many suits. We would go to breakfast in the morning. Breakfast at 7.30. This nigga had a whole suit at 7.30. This nigga had a whole suit at 7.30. Any motherfucker that got a suit at 7.30 in the morning got a lot of suits.

They got backup suits. They got rain suits. They got rain suits, backup suits, casual. All of business formal. This nigga had suits. And I thought it was him because I said this is probably some black on black crime shit, right? And I was like, which one of you

motherfuckers said go? Nobody said nothing, right? And I'm mad as shit. Nobody want to laugh with me or nothing. So we go to the race. Cut to the end of the night. So then we're going back to the bus. They can't leave me. And the bus was boring.

There's a lot of niggas on the bus to be laughing. I just oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And another dude on the bus, I was like we need some music. So they didn't have like Bluetooth, but I got something. They didn't have Bluetooth.

Thank you. The camera's been on me so long, you just recognize it? It just got there. Okay, thank you. So there's no bluetooth so when we got the speaker cause it's like a tour bus so we're not speaking but I just

if you look to your left you'll see that's where Frederick Douglas was born slaves were down the street at 3000 miles this is where

the worst thing is you haven't been on a civil rights joint it's all depressing and this is where we hung you niggas and then who's laughing out there in a deck there's two white people yeah right so i'm on the mic we got the phone on it right and we started we rap it and paul

rise back i'm like this yo i need a hot 16 can Can you spit 16? And he looked like, what? It was another black friend of mine. He was like, could you translate? Yeah, he didn't say it, but his face said it like, I have no idea what a 16 is. Paul Ryan is youngish. Yeah, but a hot 16. Joe Rogan didn't know what a hot 16 was,

and he was afraid of it. Donnell, you're talking about my girlfriend? Who's that? A hot 16., and he was afraid of it. Donnell, you're talking about my girlfriend? Who's that? A hot 16. Yeah, that's probably what... Yeah, he was like, no, it would have been more like wife. But I was like, if you have a problem with the way I talk, go to Urban Dictionary, right?

But it was so funny because you were talking about me hanging out at once. It wasn't about politics. We're just hanging out. Who is that person right there? You were just... I just put Sheryl Sandberg on the screen when you were talking about... Who is the bitch? I don't know.

You guys were in a conversation. She's one of the CEO of Facebook. She's one of the founders of Facebook. You guys were talking about... We're talking about Deborah. Why are you trying to force this whiteness on us, son? Nobody asked you to put that bitch up there. You need to put Deborah on there

that was actually on the bus. Yes. Yes. Yes. Get this cracker bitch off the screen. Kennedy Center. Debra. Kennedy Center.

Motherfucker just automatically had an opportunity to put white people up there and he did it. There she is. Oh my gosh. She was so much fun. Deriber Rudder. So we were on the bus and then we were playing our music and she was like reading from this book. She had a reading glass on and then all of a sudden they said, do you remember?

And then she just took her glasses off and threw her book down and was grooving on the bus. Paul Ryan in the back. He don't want to spit 16. Armstrong is back there asleep. Oh, Lord. Yeah. And it was a fucking beautiful time. And then I had to leave that night.

And I had to come back to the United States. I have a question, though, about like because, you know, I went to school with white people. And speaking of slavery, every time slavery would come up in know, I went to school with white people and speaking of slavery, every time slavery would come up in classroom, every time, every time, don't threaten me

with a good time, but every time slavery would come up, they would look at me. Let me tell you something, the best black, the black chick that grew up

in an all white school, seriously, literally, figuratively, contextually, metaphorically, like literally, the token, I know this like literally, the token.

I know this sounds racist. People are just, could you ever go back to the motherland? Yes. If the motherland. Spend some time in Europe. I can't. No, but go ahead. But I know how people would look at me when we would talk about slavery or anything.

I know that the Hamilton, this was one of the most controversial. Racist ever. Yes. So I'm like being around all these white people. Being the black guy. one of the most controversial. Racist ever. Yes. So I'm like being around all these white people, being the black guy, one of the only black guys there. When that went down, were they like. No, they were looking at me like when he lost, they was looking at me like, sorry for your loss. Like it wasn't my loss, nigga. And I even asked the other black guy I was with.

I said, yo, man. This is what I said. The only other black guy that was with us. I said, man, I feel sorry for Lewis Hamilton. He said, for what? He said, that motherfucker make $50 million a year without endorsements. Oh, wow. Don't feel sorry for him.

He feel sorry for you, nigga. But it felt like, yo, I ain't going to lie. I didn't give a fuck about that race. I just wanted the black dude to win and when he did win then I had to go back to the old black shit like yeah

it don't matter if you win it's the fact that you can beat it no I wanna win but it was fucking it was a dope

it was a dope experience it was like walking down the yacht row or whatever but let me tell you though hold on wait a minute but this how I forget how big some of the things I've done are.

So I'm in the Royal Paddock. I'm in the Royal Suite. They got suites all over. This suite is all Mohammeds. You used to have some Mohammeds? Yo, Faheem's in them. Yo, this suite was like, I like i'm telling this is the suite this is the main shit so i'm in there the food was amazing and but it was kind of snobby in there

so i went to the terrace the terrace where it just had skirts on and shit like down in the royal lounge there was like this have all the food you want but there's no alcohol in the royal lounge, they was like, have all the food you want, but there's no alcohol in the royal. I respect that. That's what people don't understand about Islam. They can say whatever they want.

But if you ever studied the Quran and you understand, they just want a clean life. You know what I'm saying? They care about marriage. They care about

all these things. That's what people don't understand. They think like when you hear like Muslims like, oh, they be bombing motherfuckers. I was a member of the Nation of Islam for years and I know what

their shit was about. So I don't look at it the way other people look at it. So I'm in that lounge. I leave there to go up to like this joint where it's like Super Bowl is popping up there. So I was like, I went up there for a while. I was like, no, I want to go downstairs because up there

they only had pizza. I need the fancy food. I'm an eater. They had champagne and beer. I wanted to get that. But they had pizza and shit downstairs. They kept saying, you want lobster? Lobster, lobster. You can't ask a nigga if he want

lobster because he's going to eat lobster until he throw up. And lobster in the middle of a desert? Man, and it was all, whatever it is, it was like they flown in. So I went back, I was going back downstairs. And as I was going back downstairs, I saw a whole bunch of Muhammad niggas coming, right? And there was a group of people.

And it was Ivanka and Jared again. Second night I've been around them. And we go to the entrance of the lounge. They let Jared and Ivanka in there or whatever. And then I don't know if it was races, but when it got to me, they said stop.

He was like, no, we're not. We're not letting anybody in for like 30 minutes or whatever. I've used a race car in a lot of places, but I'm not used a race car in a lot of places. But I'm not, you use the race car, niggas will get bombs and shit. Yeah, okay. I was like, oh, it's because I'm late.

Oh, I see what's going on. It's the time, right? It's my fault. But I'm sitting there and the guy's like this who's he's speaking arabish he was like no 30 minutes and i'm like okay i just go to the side right i'm like whatever then this dude come up he was like excuse me would you be needing assistance getting to the royal lounge i was like no nigga he was like would you be needing assistance he was looking at me like you know i'm that dude would you need be needing assistance getting to realize i said yeah i need some assistance

getting to roll out he was like and i just heard abby it was like look at that and then he did one of these joints just his eyes and they let me in I was like oh shit he was like I just want to say I'm a fan of your work and I love the show and the things you've done I was like

nigga do Mohammed niggas know about me but not all of them did you famous not all of them did so we walk in right and he's like

like we have a conversation and another one of them Faheed niggas showed up evidently he didn't know about the Chappelle show right and he looked at the

dude that got me in, and I don't speak Arabic, but it sounded like he said, who is this nigga? In Arabic. I don't know how it sounds, but like a nigger somewhere. Right?

Yo, he was looking. And it sounded like his eyes looked like, his eyes were looking like, who is this nigger? And then my man was like this. He looked like, I don't really, in Arabic eyes, he was like, I don't really know this nigger like this. But he's funny. But I could tell.

They was like, but you didn't talk to the royal source so something didn't happen so I was telling I was like listen man I don't want no problems man it was it's from being right here I don't have a problem and then you know you tell him office said it's an issue but I'm not gonna make it an issue they start deviating he said no it's not a problem but but can I offer you some coffee or some water I say? I was like, no, don't offer me that. The funny thing was, they was like, they was talking, they was like, yes, there's a conversation going on right now. Like, I couldn't go over there.

But the crazy shit was, where all the energy was, it was all the top Mohammed niggas. My man was talking to them. The one that invited me. So I'm looking at this Mohammed nigga like this Mohammed nigga is my Mohammed nigga. I'm like I'm good.

But it was just I guess them knowing that I was there. When you in there like Steven Seagal was in there. Bob Johnson and everyone. If you in that motherfucker you either are somebody or you know somebody. And this is what I got out of that. The whole trip. here, Bob Johnson, everyone. If you in that motherfucker, you either are somebody or you know somebody.

And this is what I got out of that whole trip. Was Steven Seagal cool? That's pretty good. Steven Seagal looked like he'll fuck you up. He fat as a motherfucker now. He'll still fuck you up. Steven Seagal looked like he ate a couple Seagals. Seagals. I was like,

that looked like a fat sumo wrestler in Steven Seagal. They was fat sumo wrestling Steven Seagal they was like that is Steven Seagal but this is what I from that trip meeting those people

being around those people having that experience I was like and I never take anything for granted I was like you know what comedy

has put me in a position where I can travel, meet influential people. You know, people always, even with this trip, they was like, yeah. I was like, but these people, all they were talking about was money. Is money everything? Money's not everything.

I'm not heartless. I know money's not everything. I've been broke most of my career. I know money is not everything. I've been broke most of my career. I know money's not everything, but I do know the happiness it could create if you spin it the right way. Absolutely. So when I think about money, it's not for like, oh man, I'm going to ball out. It's not like that. It's like this. Okay, this organization started this. I'm going to have experiences. I'm going to have experiences. I can help people.

And it might not be my dream, but money allows other people to possibly live their dreams too. Absolutely. So all the people are like, money's not everything. It's not everything. You can say that when you think about using it the wrong way. Do you know when I was younger and people used to talk about money with me, I was like, this is what money is. I said, money isn't going to be my happiness. I said, I want to make money so I can make other people around me happy.

What I hate is when people compare. When you talk about money, all of a sudden people jump to money is not everything. You know who said that? Because you know most people say that? Broke people. Broke, yeah. But the thing is they jump in and say that. I'm like, no, there is a happy medium.

I'm not saying that you don't need the other things when I say I want money. It's not saying I don't want the other things. You can have both. Yes. You can have both. You can have both, but it's all on you. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Anytime I get money, I'm like, oh, I can do this. I can do that. I ain't going to lie. I'd be shopping like a I can do this I can do that I ain't gonna lie I be shopping like a motherfucker though I do do that I do do that because we were broke so we have to have those things yo I'm gonna tell you something son let me tell you something and I know we're close to time

I'm telling you this is the best feeling not the best feeling or it's a great feeling when you go somewhere and I'm still to this day a tag nigga you don't have to look at the price yo i'm still to this day like nobody likes jay until you don't have to look at the price and i tried that the last time i got caught out with you i got fucked up i'm like don't ever let me not look at the price i tried that shit son i said nah nigga

don't look at the price son but you'll get fucked up on that shit but the first time i was like this i don't give a fuck even though it backfired but it feels good yeah like like all the work that we've been doing all these decades really just to be able to for me even going to the grocery store and not having, like, because before you have to count, before you put it in the basket. Coupons. Everything. Everything. Austin?

He ain't never gonna know that. If Austin went shopping with my mother, he'd probably get on punishment. I want, I want, I want, I want, I want. No, now what? Austin, so disrespectful, he'd be I want. No, not what. Austin, so disrespectful with it. He be slam dunking shit in the cart. He be like, that nigga be like, ooh, Pringles.

Ooh. Juice. Ooh. Go-Gurts. Reese's. Ooh. Kinder eggs. Wah, wah, wah. Ooh. Shrimps. Ooh. Not the shrimps oh yeah

he he go crazy and I know I guess I don't know if this is part of being an older dad or just being in a different situation when every time

he do a shot I'm like yes cause I wish I could've done that absolutely cinnamon toast crunch just like I said

groceries and being able to not look at prices for groceries it's a big thing and we made it through that and I like motherfuckers not look at prices for groceries is a big thing. And we made it through that. And I like motherfuckers to look at prices too. I'm going to tell you, I like that

and I'm going back. When I was in Yellow Springs, Ohio right? We stayed for like the entire summer. What I enjoyed was when I got excited about Marshalls and TJ Maxx. Mm-hmm.

Nigga. You can get some good shit. Not only that, because we was running out of clothes and shit, right? Niggas was tired of seeing that shit. I'm like this, man. I was like, I can't wait to go to Marshalls and buy something for $19.99. I'm talking about $14.99. I took three women to Marshalls.

I spent and this didn't happen. I didn't get laid out there. But I'll say this. I took three chicks to Marshalls and I spent $342 and I swear I could have pulled off a menage a trois in the parking lot.

Wow. And they were fitted for the month. And I'm talking about, no, listen, it wasn't one bag. They got like two shopping carts and shit. Yeah, they were fitted for the month. And on top of the clothes, I had some salt shakers that I would never use. You know, you get salts you never heard of.

I mean, shit. Rose, rosemary orange peel salt, nigga. That's fucking buck out bitch type shit, nigga. You want fucking buck-eyed bitch type shit, nigga. You want a buck-eyed bitch, nigga? Yeah, screw it. Get some of that motherfucking chocolate. Nigga, how the fuck you got chocolate by the dresses? Yes. And then

get a motherfucking 10-foot iPhone extension cord for $3, nigga? You can have a fucking brothel out in the parking lot. A straight brothel. Okay.

So, where are we at right now? Since we've been back, what is this? Our fifth episode? I think so, yeah. Fifth episode. This was supposed to be the Christmas edition. For some kind of way, we just went off on everything. We're dressed, right? Yeah, we are dressed Christmas.

What does, and I'm going to ask this question to everyone here. All right? Pegger? Yes, sir. Call me Peggy. Snorter? Negative energy? Who has negative energy?

What? Never mind, I got it. What? Who has negative energy? who has negative energy who has negative energy don't trust this motherfucker you know you don't trust any this who you don't trust any motherfucker to start this sentence off yo honestly you want me to be honest i keep yo when somebody says you want to be honest that means you lie all the other times why are you being honest right now always say i was like alice could you please stop saying that and then he'll be like honestly dude you want to

be honest dude honestly you want my two cents i was like i don't want none of your sense keep them okay we're gonna take this around what is beggar samson yes sir what is christ Christmas to you? Well, I'm Jewish, but we always, I grew up celebrating Christmas. So Christmas to me is the music, going to get the tree with the family, watching a Christmas story, and then coming down the stairs in the morning to piles of gifts. Heather, what is Christmas to you? The traditions. Yo.

She sound like she got other charges. Like, she just, that was the easiest shit ever. She sounds like she's high and she don't want to talk to me. She said like, yo, they're like at home, they be like, she ain't no snitch, she kept it clean. She said your traditions and dropped the mic.

I told everything. She said, your traditions. They dropped the mic. Is that it? Just your traditions? I told everything. She said, this nigga said, it's me coming down with the pants, with the ass out. You said everything. This motherfucker said, what is it? She said, the traditions.

End of the story. Well, because that's really the only time throughout the entire year that you really actually do your traditions. OK. What are those traditions? Really? You're going to name them all? Christmas at home with my family, my kids. Family, then.

That's Christmas. We do Elf on the Shelf. Yeah. Oh, I hate that. Elf on the Shelf. I've never done that with my kids. What? That's white as shit.

What's Elf on the Shelf? Yeah, it's the white people shit. I've never done that. Yeah, it's horrible. You have to set up elves. You have up for the show? Yeah, it's the white people shit. I've never done that. Yeah, it's horrible. You have to set up elves. You have to hide the elf every day. Yeah, every single day you have to remember to hide them in a different position. People get creative.

We have backgrounds where they actually have a little flat screen TV and they're sitting on a couch. They have different clothes for the elf. I had my elf on the shelf one time fishing in the toilet bowl. Oh, that's cute. What color is your elf? Black or white elf? They're all white, Donna.

There's a new Snoop elf on the shelf. Fuck that game, man. All black? They're all white? They're all white. They're all white. But there's a new Snoop one. Yo, what?

That's why. Yo, they did a high five. Yo, they did a high five, yo. Yeah. Yo, fuck elf on the shelf. What about bitch on the Block? Snoop has a new one called Snoop on the Stoop. No, it's not Snoop.

He came out and said that he has nothing to do with that, and he's actually suing the people that came up with Snoop on the Shelf. And he's smoking, and it's actually pretty dope. I did buy one. You did? It's Snoop on the Stoop. Snoop on the Stoop. It's creative. Better than Snoop in the Poop. What's buy one. You did? It's Snoop on the Stoop. Snoop on the Stoop. Better than Snoop in the Poop.

What's Christmas to you, Nikki? Because with my kids, I'm a single mom. I've been broke a lot of the time that I've been single. So Christmas to me is sitting in the trunk and wrapping their presents while they're asleep, which I miss. I don't have my kids the first time this year.

They're grown. They're grown. That's so awesome. And they decided they spent Thanksgiving with me. They decided they're going with their... They're at that age now like,

Ma, you get one or the other? They're sharing now. And, you know, the one's off to college so she booked her trip back to Sacramento.

So, I'm by myself this Christmas. No, you're not. You got a great guy in your life. You? No,

not me. That nigga that smoked my a great guy in your life. You? No, I'm not, dude. That nigga that smoked my weed. He's in Kentucky. What? In my hometown. So my family's in Kentucky. Why you don't go to Kentucky? I could. Yeah, but I'm here. Go to Kentucky. I'll buy you a ticket. Is that an issue? We won't

get into this on this episode. No. You want to go to Kentucky? Hey, so Christmas to me is my kids and i want to start i still need my son and i still want to have more kids later that's me like i don't know christmas without kids i absolutely do not know what it is oh you know where's austin austin's in new york i'm about to go you know what christmas is to me? What Christmas makes me feel, for the most part, useless? Tell us, Donnell. Depressed.

Oh. Oh, man. You know why? Why? Because my childhood, we was in a nation of Islam. They don't fuck with Christmas. Do you know how it feels to be the only Muslim family in a neighborhood, all Christian and Baptist and niggas that celebrate Christmas.

It was depressing as shit. And we never celebrated Christmas. The best part of Christmas, I would go to my grandmother's house. But it was never in my house. It was never like Christmas tree or anything.

It was like, I was like, man, I want to go to grandma's house because that's the only way we're going to get a gift. We didn't celebrate it. I think that was part

of my mother's way of saving money. But Christmas, and I remember kids being excited about it. I never got excited about Christmas until I had my son.

So now, I miss the excitement of this gift. Wake up in the morning, yes. So I'm excited about it, what it means to him. You know, that's the best part. Seeing the kid's face, seeing Austin. I already know what Austin's face is going to look like when he wakes up. I know, it's the best. Seeing Seeing the kid's face, seeing Austin. I already know what Austin's face is going to look like when he wakes up.

I know. It's the best seeing their face. But that and another thing is like this is a time of year, as much as I work, this is a time of year where I get to spend time with my family. I get to see people. And this is where everybody feels good. For the most part, the world feels good right now. And I love that feeling until the 26th.

But that's when everything goes on sale. And that's when you start buying shit. That's when I get the fuck out the country, nigga. I'm like, I did all this whole, whole, whole shit. Nigga, I'm out of here. I can't stand y'all niggas. Y'all was forced. I was forced to be here.

See, my birthday is also January 3rd. So I get, I've always got double presents. No one like celebrates my birthday. I celebrate it with you. This was a Christmas special. Whatever Christmas means to you, just enjoy it. Enjoy your

friends. Enjoy your family. Enjoy the good vibe that it creates. And also if you're in California, enjoy Who's Up? We Up. Who's Up? We Up. Who Sleep? They Sleep. creates and also if you're in California enjoy who's up we up who's up we up who sleep they sleep can I get a bomb right now

watch how long this takes oh shit you practiced that all day son yo you was like I hope this motherfucker asked me for that bomb alright see ya I hope this motherfucker asks me for that, Bob. All right. See y'all.