Donnell - Jew-Tang Clan with Matan

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

In this Episode, Donnell has signed up for the Jewish Big Brothers Big Sister program and Alex shares his plans for a Belgian holiday A joke could be too soon, but it could never be too soon for a funny observation. This episode is sponsored by Manscaped (https://www.manscaped.com/). Use offer code DONNELL for 20% off and free shipping! Sponsor Donnell: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/donnell Special thanks @juliuslikeaboss Matan YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UC0zYzxRCvUD5p1XWwE00Zzw Matan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanevenoff Matan TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mataneven?lang=en https://trailblazefitness.com/ Like, Subscribe & Follow Donnell on: http://www.donnellrawlings.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.cothe YTheTHQkm/channel/UCnXf59H6e99fQpWYM5uvEQw?sub_confirmation=1 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donnellrawlingsofficial Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/donnellrawlings Instagram: --------------------------------------- Check out Donnell's Social Media: https://www.donnellrawlings.com/social Like, Subscribe & Follow Donnell on: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnXf59H6e99fQpWYM5uvEQw?sub_confirmation=1 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donnellrawlingsofficial Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/donnellrawlings Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/donnellrawlings Website: http://www.donnellrawlings.com Hashtag: #donnellrawlings, #thedonnellrawlingsshow, #2soonwithdonnellrawlings, #toosoon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Round here, if it smell funny, onions getting peeled. Round here, if it smell funny, get your onion peeled. Round here, it'll be smolting at all. It'll be smolting at all. It'll be smolting at all. It'll be smolting. It'll be smolting. We are here.

And we got our special guest, but it looks like James Rand. I don't know if you want to hold up your badge, James, so the people can see you are. So James is from Jewish Big Brothers, Big Sisters. And what's your title, James? I'm the senior coordinator. Awesome. Awesome. Hey, Donnell?

Donnell? Donnell? We got our guest. Well, well, well. Hi, Donnell. How are you? I'm fine. How are you today? Look at you.

You have a professional job because you have that name tag. I have a lanyard. A lanyard. And those you see at hotels, at the convention centers, and stuff like that. But this isn't a convention. Here. What is it? I'm a senior coordinator with the Jewish Big Brother Big Sister Program.

Where the fuck all these Jews coming from? Every episode is Jew, Jew, Jew. Now, Donald, you yourself are a Jew, correct? Yes. So what's the purpose of this? Well, I wanted to get this person. Oh, you yourself are a Jew, correct? Yes. So what's the purpose of this? Well, I wanted to get this person. Oh, you offended. So the kicker is, Donnell, is that, you know, James and I were talking.

And frankly, I think that a lot of what goes on in these comedy podcasts is so selfish, so self-indulgent. It's really just same old things, nothing really going on outside. We really wanted to take an opportunity. So, the reason why I never wanted to do a podcast again, is that what you're saying? Well, no. The kicker is, Donnell, is we want to give back. We want to give back to the community, set a good standard. What community? All communities,

but I'm a part of the Jewish one. No, no, no. That's what I know to reach out. I'm Jewed out! So, here's the deal. So, Donnell, essentially what we're doing is we signed you up for Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters. What? Is that really an organization? Yes. When did you guys ever need help with anything?

I've never, ever heard of a Jew going outside with a nonprofit to secure money for their community this is the weirdest shit you gotta explain to me what's going on we want to give you a shot okay i don't even know what jude is doing bad what jew is what this doing bad well we're about to find out okay we feel that we have the perfect candidate for you um given your history now it's been brought to my attention that you didn't actually give me my history what history? What history do you know of me? Well, I mean, looking over this intake form here, DUI, a little bit of trouble with the law. Oh.

I mean, is that correct or not? Let me tell you something. Do you know how wrong it would be in the streets? So basically, this adopted you. I'm adopted a Jew to mentor a Jew. My community is going to be so upset with me. I have all these little black kids and boys that I can help. And no disrespect, for me to help a Jew first, it's going to be issues.

Go, Jew. A lot of this is very troubling, but there's a lot in here. What do you mean? Oh, my God. Wait a minute, Katie. Yo, Katie, why do you get so offended? You booked this motherfucker. And I keep telling Alex, don't book these weird old motherfuckers.

Why is he weird? Because he's a Jew? Now you're trying to put me in a corner. I'm not going to do that. Don't do that. We're going to bring out Mat matan who's our little brother this now he are you jew no i'm not jewish but they put me under the program oh you look i'll tell you all this it could have been a black dude with a skull cap i would have been nervous but this white guy right here can i get get a soda? I'm going to need one.

Makes me nervous. You're in this program? They put me in it. Who put you in this program? Asshole. He's a troubled youth. He's very troubled. I'm supposed to, okay, tell me this.

Okay, what's the purpose? How could I possibly? I don't want to help him. There's a lot of black kids I could help before him. Piece of shit. What is his background? How did you get to this point? I grew up solo in the streets.

Okay, first off, he has a diamond earring. So that's a street motherfucker? Not real. It's not real? I stole it from a motherfucker. Yep. It's a motherfucker, Blackie. He does know how to get his own money.

No, I know. Shut the fuck up, asshole. Take your stupid little hat off. Imagine me bringing this motherfucker to the hood. Or bringing my friends. They'll be like, what the fuck? What am I doing? He's very street savvy.

What's his name? Matan. Who do you live with? By myself or with my dogs? Yeah. Are dogs like Bark Bark Or like your niggas I'm not gonna use That word

But those guys What word The N word The N word you just said I'm half black But I still won't use it Cause I look You're not half black

I'm half black Dwayne There ain't nothing black About you motherfucker Well If I don't have a family Then I can decide right Okay

We haven't been able to confirm Either way He could be half black No No he's not It's after school No good a family, then I can decide, right? We haven't been able to confirm either way. He could be half black. No, he's not. Your ass is out to a school. No good. Are you currently employed? They had me fill out that shit.

God damn. Behavioral history. Everything has a red check. Fighting, bullying, vandalism, theft, truancy, others. Oh my God. Have you ever been convicted any convictions yes oh my god do you currently you don't use none no drugs oh nothing this is just pure this is just you

no no drugs i have never seen a Jew with this type of energy. I'm going to take him to... I'll take him... I got... This is the attitude. I got a great experience for him. Let's go to Compton. That's where I hang out all the time. No, you don't.

No, I'm in there. That's with my people over there. Down, down. You want to get him in the mood. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you help him? Why don't you give him a job? We're helping him as a unit.

We're helping him as a unit. No, no, he's weird, and I don't like weirdness. Well, one of the things that i thought would be nice is you know we talked before your son austin's really into skateboarding jason ellis just released a course called father grind where they sell like the perfect complete skateboards and so we actually bought one for for your son austin but you know since baton's here and obviously he's an at-risk youth i thought he could probably use it he's not a risk he's first off he's going to kill somebody who's going to be killed?

I want him to think that I'll help him. I think you should give him a skateboard. And look, he's trying to steal my motherfucking phone. No, I didn't. No, that's a nice skateboard. That's mine? Yeah. It was Austin's.

Who's that guy? He's Donnell's son. Who's Donnell? Right there. Oh, that's Donnell's son. Who's Donnell? Right there. Oh, that's Donnell? Yeah. These are the moments that define the Jewish Big Brother Big Sister program. I don't give a fuck about Jewish Big Brother Big Sister program.

I think it's stupid. I think that your Jewish community, they support each other. I think that this dude, if he's Jewish or not, he's going to have a troubled life. I'm not going to be there for it. I don't wish anything have a troubled life. I'm not going to be there for it. I don't wish anything positive in his life. Like, I don't. What the fuck? Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here. No, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. No, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Okay, okay. This is why I didn't do this shit. We got a fucking troubled Jew motherfucker, a meth dealer, selling coke,

and this just doesn't make sense to me. He does have a job. I mean, he has a job. He is employed oh my god all right this is when you say say art imitate life this is his situation um i don't i don't black person come here help me please please you can come across the camera all right punk ass bitch this is what I want to say whatever effort was where we were trying to do obviously it is not working and if I'm gonna save anything or anybody I'm gonna save my community now for all the

Jews or Jewish people that may be watching right now, you got your own problem. Take care of your people. I'm going to take care of my people. And I'm going to let Baton or whatever the fuck his name is. Baton. I'm going to let him. You know what? This is what I think you guys could do.

You could help him. I don't want to talk to this guy. I don't want to talk to you. So I'm going to let you help your own people. In this my saying, Black Lives Matter. A Jew tank clan. Ain't nothing to fuck with. Fuck you.

Fucking piece of shit. I can't do this. These fucking people are fucking. Fucking punk ass Jew. I love you Natan. Fucking punk ass Jewish bitch. Natan. I love you, Natan. Fucking punk ass Jewish bitch. Natan L. I'm done.

You piece of shit. Something's funny. I'm done. Fucking punk ass bitch. I like when the white guys kill each other, motherfucker. Sizzle alert. This summer, let the only thing smoking at your barbecue be the grill. Not your grooming game.

Get ready for the ultimate cookout season with manscaped oh man i love me some manscaped i love getting my tools right and i love getting my meat right can i say that yeah okay get your meat right because whether you're flipping burgers or cannonballing into the pool make sure your meat looks neat with the performance package 5.0. Fire up your grooming routine and keep it cool with Manscaped. You got to respect a person that cares about keeping their manscape. And for the guys out there, there is nothing worse than you about to get busy and you're not scaped up or groomed right. So I 100% support the idea of a man keeping his meat right for the grill.

And I have to say, this package, the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra, it comes with freaking everything. So first you get the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra, which is basically the classic manscaper tool. And what's great about it, again, is that when you have other of these kind of tools, you get a lot of nicks, cuts, uncomfortable things in your private parts that you not need not with the lawnmower 5.0 not only that but they have the weed whacker 2.0 which keeps your ears and nose tidy so again for people like us who are hairy they not like us they not

like us i feel like everybody like us because everybody got hairy nose and ears and stuff. It's important to keep your tool right, keep your nose right, and keep your ears right, especially if you're going to impress these girls. Yeah. And the kicker is Manscaped doesn't help you just clean up. They help you go the extra mile. So they even have the Crop Soother Ball Aftershave Lotion. Whoa!

Yeah, dude. I can't remember a time that my balls smelled that fresh. And even then, they stay fresh because they even throw in the crop preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant. Oh, man. So it's basically if you're at a sunny beach day or a BBQ barbecue, like basically you put that on and your balls will not get sweaty. And your balls will smell nice. And if you're still worried, they throw in the Manscaped Boxers 2.0, which basically are equipped with a signature jewel pouch to protect your meatballs whenever the heat takes you. And this is not for the vegans out there. Protect your meat.

So here's how we get the deal, Donnell. So to get 20% off in free shipping, use the code Donnell at manscape.com that's d-o-n-n-e-l-l at m-a-n-s-c-a-p-e-d dot com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com offer code donnell manscaped the perfect way to get your patsy sizzling this summer and i would like to add get your balls right with donnell oh can i say that breaking news coming in from Bet365, where every nail-biting overtime win, breakaway, pick six, three-point shot, underdog win, buzzer beater, shootout, walk-off, and absolutely every play in between is amazing. From football to basketball and hockey to baseball,

whatever the moment, it's never ordinary at Bet365. Must be 19 or older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Now streaming. What do you know about the happy face killer? He's my father.

It's so good to see you, Missy. Experience the thrilling new series. He said he killed another woman. Inspired by a true life story. If I don't deal with him, he will never leave us alone. You don't see how the earth is saying to him. Anna Lee Ashford and Dennis Quaid star. I am not responsible for what my dad did.

Just going how you hoped. Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments. Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game. Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. The credit card that rewards your good financial habits. Earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month.

Level up from bill payer to reward slayer terms and conditions apply said it yeah offer code down now well just real talk like i don't know man like straight up i've been doing a lot of thinking and like life has just not been going well for me man and you know frankly like i've been rejected by mcdonald's for jobs since you know 16 until now i have been losing like half the shows that i work with to tom segura uh i i even got kicked off of my jewish rec league soccer team in pasadena, son. I know I'm the problem, man. And I know that like there's a certain level of life where you do all the right things,

but you just know that this world just doesn't want you. And like, all I really want is just peace, man. A month ago, I kind of sat at it and I basically decided I wanted to get euthanized in Belgium. What? I wanted to get euthanized in Belgium. So in Belgium?

Yeah. Euthanized. You want to ****? I mean, we can't say that on YouTube. We can say, like, I'm lying. You know what's so funny about... There's nothing funny about that. I'll genuinely just try to figure out how to have a peaceful end

and just say goodbye in a kind, little, nice way that just felt peaceful and just, like... Alex, I don't want to... Don't do that, Alex. I care about you too much. And if you euthanize yourself that means i'm a failure why because i'm here to save your life well the thing is donald you do know that you do know i don't i've said time and time again i don't give a fuck about this podcast. And I do know you're the problem, Alex. And so for me personally, like I'm a person, as you know,

I'm pretty scared of rejection. You know, so if I had to pick a Belgian euthanasia doctor, you know, essentially like I wanted to pick someone who really wanted to do it. So I picked the most Nazi-ish looking dude i possibly can i send it to her okay so what i was about to say before we got interrupted with your baby mama payments was um essentially uh i was scared of rejection i reached out out to the most Nazi-ish looking euthanasia doctor

on Latent and Katie, you can pull up the message. Yeah, I will. It might need to be a bit of a trigger warning. And so, can you read it, Katie? Yeah, I can read it. I have to read a translation because I can't speak

that language. It's with general practitioner Zinon Oost. And Alex said, subject euthanasia. Hi, Zinon, hope you are having a lovely Sunday. I'd love to schedule an appointment with you. Let me know next steps in your process and then he actually responded originally saying hello alexander thank you for contacting me but i'm not interested in this opportunity and then alex alex kind of managed to persuade him a little bit and he actually said is there any way we can have a zoom to discuss and then that's when xeno was like okay i think maybe like a heart to heart might bring me around to this opportunity so we actually do have the man in the building.

We got him on a Zoom. We got Zenon on a Zoom. And we're going to have a conversation with him. Hello. How does a person get to the point where they realize they need you as a doctor? And how do they reach out to you? Oh, well, I am a naked. I have.

This is a doctor that's smoking a cigarette? Okay, all right. No, I'm just talking about killing somebody. Dan, what you just said. I'm half black, but I still want to use it. You're not half black. All right, so, okay, I got a question for you because your job is very interesting to me. Somebody comes into your office and they say,

you know what, life has been very rough for me. I don't want to do this anymore. What's the next process before you say, okay, you're going to take them out of here? Get my money out from. They must show their ability to pay. Yeah, so son, I showed my ability to pay. What was wrong with me?

Don't take American Express. I don't understand how he found your LinkedIn account and you didn't say come in for consultation or to finish him. Honestly, I think I made the wrong judgment call that maybe a Nazi doctor who does euthanasias is less likely to kill Jews than someone who likes Jews. And next thing you know, my career is over and I'm doing Def Comedy Jam tours

for the rest of my life. Doctor, when's the last time you killed a Jew, though? Um. Of one. What? Of one. Of what? Of one. What? Off one. Off what? Off one.

Well, you're drunk, sir. Can you imagine calling this guy, wanting to kill yourself, and you got to deal with these technical issues right now? Like, you're going to die. When? So when are you going to schedule me dying? This is like a bad order at Chick-fil-A right now. So what do you want?

You know how long. If somebody really wanted to kill himself, the extra time and effort had to be put into killing himself with these technical issues right now. Why did you say no to me, though? Why did you say no? What was wrong with me? I did not see any extraordinary depression on your part. I don't know.

How do you get your certificate for taking people out? I just normally depressed Los Angeles. Yo, I don't know how do you get your certificate for taking people out normally depressed Los Angeles yo I don't know how do you do background to find out who needs to be out of here but for you

to sit down with him and you didn't think there was anything wrong then there's something wrong with your practice what I feel like Sit down with him and you didn't think there was anything wrong, then there's something wrong with your practice. But I feel like the minute he called you, you should have said, come on in, I got you. And you didn't do that. So it seems like this is all about money.

It seems like it's all about money. It doesn't seem like this is a situation where you choose the right thing to do. It's all about money. This doesn't seem like this is a situation where you choose the right thing to do. It's all about money. This is the sink calling the toilet. Why? Do you ever feel like, do you ever just say to yourself one day, maybe I need to take my own advice?

You ever thought about that? Oh, no. No? Why? What's your will to live to help others die someone someone has to do it oh my god

this is a true story I met a woman that worked at so many troubled black hotline right and she said the rule to when you're a hotline operator, you can never hang up on a person. And they know that. And she said, this is one.

When you get into an escape plug-in hybrid, you get the perfect mix. You can chill in electric mode, turn it up in gas mode, or get the best of both in hybrid mode. Choose how you move in the all-in-one Escape. And right now, get a $3,000 rebate on the Escape plug-in hybrid and all 2025 Escape models.

For details, visit your Toronto area Ford store or Ford.ca. By 2050, new cancer cases are projected to rise by 77%. It's why the Princess Margaret is reigniting our commitment to transform cancer outcomes in a quest we call Carry the Fire. But we can't achieve this alone. We need your help. Together, let's carry the fire for a world free from the fear of cancer and give every cancer patient brighter tomorrows. Donate to the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation at carrythefire.ca. Pervert.

They used to call every day. It was a safety word that he had to say. It was a safe word that he had to say to make her feel safe but she had to listen to and i'm not trying was it huh what was the word i can't remember the word but he got the jerk off i'm going to sleep. Until next time. All right. We'll leave. It'll be small to you It'll be small to you It'll be small to you It'll be small to you