Donnell - Keep Austin Ashy!

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

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I want to take this opportunity to thank Manscaped for supporting us. Manscaped is the best for below the waist grooming, offering precision engineered tools for value with the best experience. Get 20% off plus free shipping when you use code ASCHE at manscaped.com. The Longmore 3.0 is the shit. I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt

I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt I'm trying not to interrupt The Donnell Rawlings Show, live in your face. Fuck that bitch ass nigga, you'll never take my place, nigga. Thank you. That's right everyone Yeah, that's it. What was your birthday? We gotta turn up. We gotta turn up. There's people that sing happy birthday to you and wait until you get to the part where it says, where it says, how old are you?

When you're younger, I gotta start to yell. When you're younger, to have a birthday song, you wanna hear every goddamn verse. You wanna hear, happy birthday, and you can't wait to hear how old are you. I'm 12, I'm 12. I'm 13. You get those golden senior sexy ass, I call it silver.

What do the handsome older guys call it? Silver fox. Like this. That's me. You're giving silver fox right now. I always give silver fox. Okay. I mean, I'm just that person.

But when you're younger, you can't wait to get to how old are you, partner. When you get older, as soon as they say happy birthday, you're like, let me just blow those candles out. First off, I want to thank everyone that came to my birthday party in Yellow Springs when I was young. That looks so lit. I'm so mad I wasn't there. How was it? It was great. The reason why it was great is because I know was great because i know people yeah i know but you have so much fun in yellow springs the reason why i had so much fun in yellow springs because i had so much fun

in yellow springs over the summer and when you're planning your birthdays when you get i hate to use this phrase when you get of a certain age you know what i'm saying you don't need like everybody to do the truck marathon yeah you don't need the super turn up you just need to be around people that you

love and respect and that's what it was it was unfortunate that you weren't there but we did it at the shack the notorious infamous shack

probably had like 30 people but I think Dave Chappelle hosted the party right nice but I think

I got tripped why what happened because But I think they should be able to party right but I think There was a fight Paula fight no spits Who fought somebody Somebody Google that shit. I forgot. Maybe I was too late on my party. The fight where the Nate Robinson guy got... No, that ain't no real guy.

That ain't no fight, girl. The one that created the biggest memes of all. Who fought? It was Spence, Robert Spence. Black guy, Latina guy. They was rooting for

the Latina dude. And it's in the same way because I feel... I'm not a boxing enthusiast like that, but it was eventful. The fighter you were talking about was the one that rocked the world. Yeah. Nate Robinson came, ah, that's some fuck up. Oh, Errol Spence Jr.

Yeah, Errol Spence Jr. I don't know if he was undefeated or whatever, but it was a big deal. This is why I think Dave set me up. Because it was a fight. And my birthday was the same night as the fight. So I think what the motherfucker did was throw a fight party. And he included you. Yeah, he included me.

Like, you know, anybody got a cupcake or anything? But it was a good time. He did a speech. You know, if you've been to the show, you know that there's not going to be a time where you don't hear Dave grab the microphone and do like an Oscar worthy almost like an acceptance speech on and on and on. But when you

are the subject of the discussion you appreciate it a little bit more. I appreciate it all the time. Thanks again for everybody that came here. All the housewives of Yalta Springs. All the nature barefoot bitches, I mean queens I've never got so

many rocks for gifts what type of rocks? polished rocks river rocks, quartz like every time I turned around it was a broad giving me a goddamn rock I'm like is my energy that fucked up

where I need all these rocks I got bags of smudge sticks I got quartz rocks I love you rocks but I really appreciate it away from any type of gifts or expecting anything

it was so much love that night I had a good time everybody had a good time. Everybody had a good time. So again, thank everybody that came out to that. And while I'm thinking about it, because I don't want to wait too late for the podcast, anybody that's in the

Atlanta area, I'll be performing New Year's Eve at Atlanta Comedy Theater. I'll be in the dopest comedy clubs for Black Comedy or Comedy Theater. I'm one of the dopest comedy clubs for black comedy or comedy period. New Year's Eve weekend. I'll be here Thursday through Sunday.

It's going to be the turn up. We're going to make sure that everybody is safe. Because the motherfuckers in Atlanta don't give a fuck. They don't. Atlanta is wide open. Wide open. They are wide open. More, wide open. Boy, they are wide

open. Like, more open than a hooker from the Bronx. They are wide open. More open than a whop. That's how wide they are. And not one to try to talk in your face. You know how many times I've had to hold my breath just because I, you know,

you're in that situation, like, you want to say get the fuck away from me but you're like okay respect respect my six feet but then it's like sometimes people don't get that

and they're like what are you trying to say what I'm trying to say is motherfucker you might have the goddamn wrong right and we don't

we never notice when people talk like I was actually paying attention to someone's mouth and the spit comes out we're passionate

we're drinking we're like loose, and that's a scary thing when you have juices flowing out of your mouth. And some can do that would be an awesome thing. That's right, here's a good time for a very, very dirty nasty reference. We love when that spit comes out of the mouth. We love when that saliva dangles down from that bottom lip. We love when that spit comes out of your mouth. We love when that saliva dangles down from that bottom lip.

We love when we hear So if you have a problem with people spitting, right? Then I want to be in agreement with that. And I say there's time to wait for that spit to come out. Thank you. Does that make sense? I'm just an observation. Just an observation.

Something you gotta do with no spit. I like that spit. Back to the show. But back to your point. Yeah. It's like you don't want to tell people shut the fuck up and back up, but you also want to be cautious.

Because you don't want to be, you don't want to be, I know you don't want to be rude about it, but it is an invasion of private space. You know what I'm saying? It's kind of hard to communicate your thoughts with people because you're trying to say,

you're like this, I'm not trying to say that you have it, but what I'm saying? It's kind of hard to communicate your thoughts with people because you're trying to say, you're like this, I'm not trying to say that you have it, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to protect myself. But we have to take care of ourselves. I don't know how I ain't got no love. Me either. Yo, and not that I've been around dumb kids and motherfuckers or anything like that.

But if you look at my, well I know I have a guy. But you look at the Instagram, you look at some things, the activities we've been involved with, both of us together, people are so like, how about they ain't got no drama? Why ain't got no mask on?

Because we've continued to put ourselves in a safe as well. I'm so sick of explaining to people, look, you're in Texas, it's not a masking site. Shout out to Texas. And it's like you said, most of those people don't even get tested.

I had a conversation with my mother. My mother tried to be nosy in the mom kind of way. Because, you know, I just had a great experience with Austin and Harvey. We went from New Jersey to Ohio to D.C. Back to New Jersey. Right? And my mom's like, where are you at? I was like, I'm in Texas. She was like, baby,

did you drive the RV? How'd you get there? I was like, mom, cut it out. I know she was trying to say, are you being safe? And what I tried to explain to her is that the way we've been moving has probably been safer than the average person

that complains about wearing a mask. And then I was like, mom, half the people that complain don't even really know that their stances haven't been tested. And I was like, mom, have you been tested with Corona? What did she say? It was crazy. But baby, I ain't been doing

nothing. I understand that, but it's still it's still,'s still but no again like we went from the yellow spring situation and now we have a residency in Austin Texas which I'm super excited about it's so beautiful here you so happy

you just came out of jail no when I called you and I was like yo you down to I don't even know how the person says no to this. Hey, Javanta, what are you doing next week? You down for a flight on a private jet with your own suite? She was like, I could hear your bags packing. As I said, I was like, oh, she about to set that hashtag off.

You know, I'm like, you can never threaten me with a good time. I know. You always be down. But then I knew the picture was coming. The jet picture with the laptop always working. I'm like, what the fuck is she looking at? Pornhub? I'm like, I've never seen that laptop pop open

as much as when you're down. I mean, yeah, the work in. Again, being in Austin, y'all's things was incredible. We started residency in Austin, Texas. It may extend after the Christmas break

to some times in January, but there's nothing like being around positive energy, being able to do what you love to do, connect with good friends, eat good. I know I'm picking up 10 pounds here. I'm so brisket. Not a tower brisket, but it's like a brisket everywhere you pounds yeah i'm so brisket now i'm tired of brisket

but like it's like a brisket everywhere you go it's a brisket you've been putting me on and when they say everything is bigger in texas it really is because i have this very very interesting mirror in my shower and when they say everything is bigger in Texas, I will take this mirror and really compliment you. I don't like mine because I look too wide. You said, and it was so funny, I was like, yo, you see that mirror in your room? You was like, I don't like mine.

I'm like, what's wrong with you? It just doesn't, I just don't like mine. I don't like mine. You said extra wide, that doesn't for you. Me? I'm telling you, boy, they're going to be, I'm going to take my picture.

I got to take this picture. I got that. What is it? The thought, what is that? The thought IG picture. And I, I did one of those pictures

and it went viral. Like, how women pose the minute they touch down on vacation. Oh yeah. Head to the side, head out.

Always that pose, I did it. But it's, it's been a good stay here to be able to work with our crew. When I say our crew, I mean Michelle Wolf, Cypher Sanders-Wilson, Moe Hammer, Joe Wilkin on this. And I think that the same way with Yellow Springs,

once people start hearing about it, everybody's going to be excited to get here. And again, I'm just so grateful and thankful that we're part of a team that can go above and beyond to try to make life seem somewhat normal. So the people out there that's on Instagram, I can't believe that they don't have masks on. Oh, fucking haters. So sick of addressing you, but I would like to take this time to say, fuck you.

We're doing everything we can. I got to tweet out my goddamn, my results every time I do it. I'm going to stop doing that because I'm missing one day. I know I'm missing one day a month, but I'm like, yeah, I told y'all I was going to get them.

I knew that wrong was going to get them, but thank God I don't have it. Hopefully I won't have it. And if I do get it, hopefully was going to get them. I knew that Ronald was going to get them, but, you know, thank God I don't have it. Hopefully I won't have it. And if I do get it, hopefully it'll pass through. And I hear so many stories about the deaths of Corona, people that are dying of Corona. But there's a lot of people, there's a lot of good stories, a lot of people that have been worried and concerned, and they pulled through it. So hopefully we will get in a different place, a better place. This is a good time to, like, I really think that people should shut themselves down right now.

Yeah, and just take time. Take time to stay with the family, relax. Because vaccines coming in, everybody's going to take it. But I just think that by the spring and the summer, we're going to be at a different place. When I say that, I mean price will get contested. How accessible it

will be. This is calling for a season time right now. If people weren't prepared for numbers to shoot up again, I don't know what the fuck they were prepared for. But also, everybody said, we're going to have a second wave. We're going to be on up again. I don't know what the fuck they were preparing for. But also, everybody said, we're going to have a second wave.

We're going to be on lockdown again. But now at least we're locked down. Nothing surprises us. Like this time, a little bit past the time last year, half the people didn't know how important it was to use hand sanitizer. Half the people didn't know how important it was to use hand sanitizer

half the people didn't know what social distancing was or what the benefits of it but now I think the country and the world has been educated where if people just listen and do the right thing then we would be at a better place than where we were last year

I can't wait to go back to where I was I'm so sick of masks, I'm so sick of them I know, it's so hard. I feel like people discriminate against you. Oh yeah, didn't you say at the coffee shop you felt some type of way? When? Yesterday, when you went into the coffee shop,

you're like, they discriminated against you. Because of the mask? Was it the mask or was it Maggie? Or was it both? Well, I do have a beef and I was trying to start off kind of cool for the most part everybody that's following me on my platform knows that I have a new family member

I have a daughter five month old daughter people are like, God, you're always having another baby no, but I what do they call it? rehomed a dog has been rehomed. You know, rehomed. A dog has been rehomed.

That lives with me now. That travels with me now. That I'm already $800 in. Motherfucker puppy only five months. I'm what? When the streets are sins, I'm turning into a white woman. Maggie. You're giving me a white woman. Maggie. You're giving me Karen.

Maggie River Rollins has more outfits than I think I have. She travels with her own bag. She has a theme. I know this is crazy, but I'll be like, what is she going to wear today?

Is she going out for dinner? Is she going out for dinner? Is this going to be casual? Is this a hoodie day? Is this a hand-knitted sweater day? She is an adorable dog. She's the best. I call her a wild magnet. I've seen so much cleavage in the last two months that she's been with me.

Because for some reason reason this dog is it so I call it a wild man as soon as I see a dog they immediately have to go to the ground like can I pet her you got there ready to pet her in fact you can pet her as long as you want you try to keep her on your lap oh no that's so funny because that is's so funny because she's so small that she sits on my lap, right? And the other day, I was showing a friend of mine, and I was petting her. And this friend was at a distance, right? And I was petting her. It looked like I was petting something else, right?

And the girl was like, Grace, I'll say it. She was like, this was a funny question. She was like, Grace, I'll say it. She was like, this was a funny question. She was like, Danielle, what are you doing? But the thing is, if you think somebody is stroking their member, you know, you're supposed to run the other way. Right. But the crazy shit, she was like a zoom lens. She was like, what are you doing? She kept on getting closer and closer.

I was like, what do you think? What do you want? What do you think I'm doing? What do you want me to do? And she was like, oh, you're petting Maggie. I was like, fuck, man, get out of here. And back to one. Let's start this over.

But this dog is, this dog makes everybody feel good. You know, like, I don't know what's, I may just decide, but I didn't realize that white people love animals more than they love kids. Yeah. Like at first. And black people. Yeah, black people. They'll save them all in a minute. But theirs, I don't know about that.

No, but you, I have. Oh, yeah, they always save black kids. Yeah. They always adopt black kids. Yes. Before a certain age. Yeah. But you can tell.

I don't even know people adopt old kids. Is that wrong? They do. But I mean, you know, the adoption is usually like baby. You know, you adopt at 13, you're always like, damn, it's baby. I think I want to adopt. I'm going to adopt. You want to adopt with me? Why?

I feel like if I do have children, I'll have one, but then I would also want another child, but I don't want to necessarily go through. Get one old school with you. What do you mean? Oh, oh, oh. A night of passion. Create one the old school way. What do you mean? Bomb, bomb, bomb. A night of passion. Create one

and a night of passion. And nothing's wrong with it because there's so many kids out here that need families and there's so many people that want to be parents that for some reason aren't able to.

So I'm not knocking the adoption process at all, but I want you to get one bomb, bomb. I'm open to it. Yeah.

But you like adopted all of us you adopted like 5 kids yeah but y'all divorced me y'all got a certain age y'all don't give a fuck about me no more y'all call me old ass motherfucker old ass and everything I'm not happy with the kids that I adopted

all of them are motherfuckers but I just want to see you I want to see your attitude change I want to see you, I want to see your attitude change, I want to see your stomach. I'm going to tell you, that is the most for me, when Stephanie was pregnant,

like, again, I'm probably repeating myself, but to have a kid at the older age that I had, like, I really appreciate everything about the pregnancy. You know what I'm saying? And I accepted everything. People are like, oh, she's going to turn into a bitch. She's going to want this.

They're going to want this. And I was like, if everything that she's going to want, I'm going to do it. I don't give a fuck where our relationship is now or whatever. But, you know, that young lady knows that when she was pregnant, like, I was 100% there. For every doctor's appointment

every thing you fell in love with, you didn't fall in love with your heightened sense of smell and dis-smell because I used to make these bomb ass short ribs and I used to love them with pork rind and when she got pregnant

she couldn't stand it and I was like and I made this big ass pot and I was like oh no you can't do this blind, right? And when she got pregnant, she couldn't stand to be wild. And I made this big ass pop. I'm like, oh no, you can't do this. I couldn't make that anymore. But it was just something about, and she was so small. She was very petite. So she was upset because she didn't really start showing it until she was like

four months. Yeah. But she wanted all the treatment of like a chick that's like wobbly and everything. Yeah. Like she would get on a train in New York and people wouldn't get up for her. So she had to tell my mom, I'm four months pregnant. You know, but it was just something about like every month. Like you notice that it's something you were responsible for creating that life. Yeah.

That's why when you're younger, you don't really, I don't think people appreciate it as much as when you get older. Because I know so many people that I grew up with, it was like, when you heard the word, I'm pregnant, it was like, uh-uh. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's true. It's not a good time in my life. I'm not ready for that. It's too much other things

that I want to do. Then when you think about that in those situations, you get, oh, I could have, would have, everything.

For me to get another, a shot at going all the way through with it and just see her body develop the way it did too. I mean, I saw Austin, the crowning, the crowning. I am nervous, Donnell.

Everybody is. It's the scariest thing. And my cousin's pregnant now. She's like almost, she's eight months. You're coming to like me? Ashley. We all love you. They all love you.

Get over yourself. But she showed me a picture of like her her daughter's foot just jammed through her stomach and she's so uncomfortable it's a beautiful thing and i know you change and i'm just terrified and i don't want to be a baby mama you know that yo listen man let me tell you something i understand what you know fuck around and get to that age where you be starting to write a contract you know how many bitches want to meet around a contract to get them pregnant keep on like to write contracts. You know how many bitches want to meet and write a contract

to get them pregnant? Keep on like, I don't want to, I ain't saying they'll get knocked up by anybody, but I don't know, time's ticking.

I understand it and I'm telling you, I've seen so many women be like, I don't want this and this and I had this one chick like a couple weeks ago.

Would you have the baby with me? You don't have to do anything. And it was an Asian chick. And we never had sex or anything. But they saw how I am as a dad or whatever, right? But her thing was, she was like, you don't have to be involved. And I'm like, I'm not.

I can't be a sperm donor. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I love being a dad so much that me knowing that I had a life out there and I wasn't a part of it, even though it was because somebody wanted to have a kid, there's no way I could do that. I would be dead like this. Motherfucker, I signed the paperwork. Get the fuck out of here.

This woman is financially set, and it's just one thing that she feels is missing life, and that's that. And I was like, I hope you fall in love and get it the right way because I wouldn't be. That's the second time time someone's offered to like hey sign this paper you have no responsibility and I'll take care of it but I understand what you're saying you don't want to be a baby mama or whatever

I mean I first off wait a minute baby mama situation isn't always A bad thing It's fucked up baby mamas That make baby mama ready

True You are right But there are some times where you Get into a situation With a guy and it seems great And they show their true colors I just seen both sides of it They show their true colors Because they show their true colors. I just seen both sides of it. I see. Okay, stop with they show their true colors because you show their true colors too.

Because your race, your relationship and everybody that's watching this, when you first meet somebody, you send your representative. You don't send a motherfucker that don't always shower that you're going to find out about three years later. That's good. You don't meet the bitch that don't like washing dishes. You don't meet the bitch that don't like washing dishes. You don't meet that motherfucker. You get the whop, the

fire dick, the best conversations and you get the best meals and dinners. So don't start with that. You know what? Listening to you now, it's like now I'm living through fear. I just need to just be open. Fear of what? Fear of that. You're too picky. Am I young?

People say I'm young a lot. You are, but just talk closer to the mic. Am I yelling a lot? Yeah, so much better. No, just being hearing you speak, and I just came to it. I just need to stop living like that. Living like what? I'm so pessimistic about it. Yes! Yeah. Yeah. And you know,

see, this is what you explained to me. This is the argument that you all use. Why should I lower my standards? Nobody has said lower your standards. But at some point you got very realistic on what you want.

You're not going to find the perfect nigga. Y'all ain't going to find the perfect bitch. But what is it in your mind? What is the perfect? Some I know what a shut the fuck up The art of shutting yes, yes, there's an art to it and what I said if you like this he's such an asshole He's an animal. No, I'm not saying shut the fuck up all the time

But I am saying shut the fuck up all the time, but I am saying it's the art of shutting the fuck up. You have a problem with that. I do? Yes, you don't know. I don't think in my relationships I have a problem. What? I don't think I... I know when to shut the fuck up. I know when to shut the fuck up. I've seen you not shut the fuck up

before. Really? In relationships. And I'm like, why are you treating that way? That's what I did a long time ago. I'm talking about now. I'm talking about 34-year-olds. Okay, alright. No. And I'm like, why are you treating that so... That's what I did a long time ago. I'm talking about now. I'm talking about 34-year-olds. Okay. Alright. No, but I remember. I was like, God damn, that's what was good. That's what I told you. Don't bring it no more home. Unless you're serious.

But going back to the baby mama thing. That word is got... I mean, it's awful. It's not an awful word, but it's a word usually when you hear about it. It's usually something with baby mama drama. Okay, well, let me rephrase that. I do not want to be left alone with a child. So the negative connotation with the title baby mama, that's not necessarily what I mean. I do not want to raise a kid by myself due to whatever circumstance. I

really want a family. I want a supportive father and I want I don't know why you snoring that's what I want. I have beef ribs. What else do you want? That's what I want. I don't want like you're looking at it on the other side of it like the baby mama drama and all that stuff I just want a supportive man. I understand what you want now but when I say the clock is ticking, like, and I know a lot of women that have been in a situation where they want the person, I'm not just saying,

just grab a baby and raise it myself. But there probably will come a time within, and I already, I'm supposed to write it in the envelope when I think you need it. Oh yeah, you need it.

Well, you need it. It's the guy. It's going to come a time where you're like, okay, and I'm going to tell you how this could happen

if you become uber, uber successful. You know what I'm saying? A lot of times women don't want to attach to that because like, I know it's going to be hard, like mentally, financially and a whole bunch of shit. But like, if you just hit it and get your millions and millions of dollars that you always talk about, I think that you'll be in a different situation. Like, you know what? I can handle it. I know you want the whole family situation. And like what I'm going through in my situation here is the toughest part for me to deal with now is dealing with co-parenting. At first I thought it was so ugly. What does that mean? Somebody hates somebody.

It means that sometimes relationships don't work out and you have to figure out a way. How are both of you going to be good parents to this kid? And I'll be real, it's been somewhat of a struggle because Austin, for the most part,

is with majority of the time, especially with me being on the road and everything, he's with Stephanie a lot. You know what I'm somewhat of a struggle because Austin, for the most part, is with majority of the time, especially with me being on the road and everything, he's with Stephanie a lot. You know what I'm saying? So now I've got to deal with, okay, it's going to be different times. It's going to be 50-50. It's going to be times that we disagree on certain things. It's going to be times that we agree on certain things. But I never thought that I would not be emotionally connected to the woman I had a baby with. It's the hardest thing to wrap your brain around.

The hardest thing to wrap your brain around in a situation like that is the thought of the person you had a baby with don't love them anymore because you're never going to not be a part of that life that's the but you get over it and as tough as it been

dealing with that part of it also examples like in my family and around me where co-parenting works. I think it's a support. I didn't realize that it's a support group for everybody. It's a support group for old dads.

David Ladman is a part of it. You know what I'm saying? It's a support group for motherfuckers that are not living in the same house. You get this weekend. You get this holiday. You get this. And it get this holiday. You get this. And it's tough

because you want to you want to be there for everything. You want to share every moment. But the reality of sometimes when relationships don't work out

that's what you have to go through. What would you say the keys are to co-parenting? Like your top three? Respecting each other. I think respecting each other. what I have to get used to is

you got to be considerate of other people's feelings. And I know sometimes you can feel like, well, I'm the bread winner. I'm the one that pay all the bills I should have the last say in everything

that's the man you want to see but the reality of it is that you have to be considerate of your partners and if you're not a lot of times I think they'll try to strike out and make it hard for you just because you're not respecting what they do and I never disrespect I would say Stephanie's a great mom. You know what I'm saying? She's a great mom.

She really loves her son dearly. She's not like, you know, one of the moms that's like, well, so-and-so's going to babysit my mom and do so-and-so. She wants to enjoy life, but

her life is all involved in it. I have nothing bad to say about that. Again, it's unfortunate things didn't work out the way my imagination thought it would be

but, you know, you got to, I know CJ said you got to do what's best for a kid. And speaking of me

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So I can go back and what I know is that Austin is a happy little boy he is he's so cute he's a happy little boy and the thing that when I get choked up because I know that our family won't

be what I thought it would be I get choked up when I say, well, man, you're going to do something. And he's like, and mommy? He's inclusive. Yeah, he always remembers family. But sometimes he don't want to fuck around. And I'm not saying that in a bad way. He'll tell me straight up, yeah.

And it's like, as a dad, you feel good about it. He'll be like, yeah, it's just gonna be daddy Sunday, right? Right, daddy? I'm like, yeah, no girls allowed, right? Like, even when we were going on the RV trip with me, 40, his son, Jayden, and his daughter,

Shania, me and my two kids, Austin and Maggie, and me and Austin was talking and we was like, yeah, he was like, yeah, Austin and Maggie. And me and Austin was talking and we was like, yeah. He was like, yeah, no girls allowed. Then he said, but only Maggie. And then I was like, yeah.

But what about Naya? He said, Naya coming? He got all excited about Naya, but this is the thing. He knows my new son time. He knows daddy's son time. And he knows mom and son time he knows daddy son time and he knows

family time that's important I know it's not crazy but I watch the pictures that he draws whenever he draws pictures it's always a picture of mom and daddy and Austin

but he doesn't he only draws when sees. I've never had no hair. My drawing is always like a quick circle. It's always like whoop. I'm like, damn, sonny. I was like, why did you give me hair? He said, that's not enough to make the picture. And now he's doing the pictures, and then he includes Maggie. And if everything I can, I'm going to do everything I can do for him to have that balance of family. But I know I'm such a pussy when it comes to him that the day I see a picture, and I'm not concluded with the picture, I'm like, yeah. Don't look like this picture is finished. Go ahead and put me in this motherfucker. Or what would that picture look like with someone else?

How would you feel? What? If there's someone else. Someone else what? Another father figure. Right. I'm going to tell you. Let me tell you.

This is the real shit I'm going to say She can fuck whoever she wants to fuck Get all the dick or whatever she wants But some real shit My son, I'm dropping the bomb Unless I'm fucking dead My son is never Going to have Another fucking father figure

Period I'm telling you. I mean that. You're dead ass serious. I mean that with every fucking anything in me. Really done it. What? Father figure? That loves?

No. No. You're not open for that? No. We will go to court. Why do you feel like that? My son is, let me explain this. That's the tough part.

If your partner falls in love with somebody else, that's the relationship you have. First off, a lot of this father figure shit happens when the father is absent out of the kid's life. So somebody had to pick that shot. Sometimes. I'm going to tell you straight up. It ain't...

I'm trying to get my words together. It ain't. I'm trying to get my words together. It ain't. It ain't. My son ain't calling nobody else daddy. And in some cases that shit work. I'm speaking of my situation. That will not fucking happen. He will not need guidance from another motherfucker. He ain't going to need financial support from another

motherfucker. He ain't going to need nothing from a motherfucker. She might need something from a motherfucker. It ain't going to be Austin. And that's need something from a motherfucker it ain't gonna be Austin and that's my shit because I love him that much and that's something he don't need in his life what she or don't speak for anybody what she or her

partner need that's one thing he don't need a father figure in his life the reason why kids need father figures the reason why I need a father figure in my life is because my father was locked up most of the time the reason why kids need father figures, the reason why I need a father figure in my life is because my father was locked up most of the time. The reason why some other kids need father figures is because dad might be dead. But what about the families that have it both? There are some families that have it.

Yeah, they're going to have it both. But he's going to be around. This is all hypothetical, of course. So how would that work? What does that look like to you? It don't look like right at all. So there's a new man in her life

and together Austin will be there. What does that look like for you? It doesn't look good. I mean, I guess I'm trying to explain this. When you say father figure, I'm just thinking like someone is going to

teach my son certain things in life. And I just feel, and I might be, some people might agree, I just don't, he's never going to need another, as long as I'm living, he's never going to need another man to do that. living he's never going to need another man to do that

and I might warm up to the idea of understanding but just when I hear that it's just I automatically get turned on with that thought I'm not trying to do no core type shit or anything like that

but if it comes down to some shit like that lower the fuck up that's crazy I know it sounds crazy I can't explain myself you know what I'm saying this might not be logical that's just feeling you know

now I realize why basketball and football got so much wisdom growing up because it was moms single parents that needed a father figure. Or what if they just fell in love with another man

and got into a relationship. It wasn't necessarily they needed a father figure. They just fell in love and moved on. Who? The mom. I don't give a fuck about nobody falling in love. In some cases, yo, here's a catcher, catcher, catcher.

Sometimes that other man ain't another man. It's another woman. Yeah, you want to and I've known cases of that. You know what I'm saying? I just this may sound crazy. I don't want nobody else to love my son. Okay.

But me, Kasadi. I'm a lot older than my BM. And I even told her once, listen, I probably won't be the last person you've had. The age difference is that much. But I'm also understanding, I also know that she's going to want her happiness. I'm not, I don't really get that. You know?

I'm never proud of that. That's what people do. Sometimes people want to be in love with something else, different situation. They feel they always have to be mad or start something with you because they want their happiness.

Like, and I explain all the time, you don't have to be mad at your ex or whatever for your happiness. Just be happy. You know what I'm saying? But with him and his wife, it's not like he also is not going to need anything from anybody. I'm an older guy that's real with it.

I know that there's a huge age difference between me and Stephanie. Even as we get older, whatever, she finds somebody, whether it's whatever the situation is. I've already pictured me having a conversation with the next guy. The next guy is young. The conversation is like, listen,

this is a conversation I've had with myself. Listen, you love her. She loves you this conversation with my son listen, you love her she loves you I love my son my son is not going to need anything from you but whatever I've instilled

in my son values and all that shit when I'm out of here when I have another brother, I respect can you continue that? And can you let my son know

what I meant to him, who I was? Period. I know part of that is going to be the relationship I build with him, but that's an honest conversation I've had with myself. And I know I got really defensive. We said, what if? It's because

the thought of that just fucks me up. But again, being mature to know everything can't be exactly the way you want it to be, that I would have to deal with that when it happens. But it won't be someone,

another guy's life lack of love for my end or what I want to do. And I'm ready to have 100% custody of myself. I see. You're a great me. I see. You're a great dad.

I love it. Yeah. You know, I'm like this, like, man, I don't want no problems or anything. I know it's tough, but, you know, again, when I look in my life, I see examples of things that didn't work out, worked out for the best.

I always use my nephew, Dusan, as an example. You know, he was at his last year at, what is it, Morehouse? Mm-hmm. And his parents were never married. And their relationship didn't even last as long as my relationship. It was definitely dead. But they created a beautiful son. That smart, sharp dude.

He's already got an internship, whatever. He already got a job at Amazon. That's it. And they had to go through their tips of, I'm here with him all the time. But then they both, and they're smart people, they both learned that, you know, co-parenting could work Austin's wee mom who I love dearly was like co-parenting could be fun and I was like it wasn't for you

no I respect it's the funny thing is I had such a great relationship with Stephanie's mother you know it's like everybody around me knows how important Austin is to me what he means to me and I have to give me for him and I love him dearly but again

the thought of someone else that's a tough one it's the thing that probably stops people from being the best parents that they can be is the personal relationship they have with that person

and the anger and how upset they feel when they know the person that they were supposed to be in love with is in love with because they don't want nobody to be happy after you're with them you can say that, that's the most bullshit I've ever heard about

I just want you to be happy I wish you would I wish you was. I wish you was. I feel like people get to that place. Don't you be happy with me. Let me beat you to happiness. I feel like people sometimes get to that place. Once they're happy, then

they can say, okay, I'm happy. I don't really give a fuck about that person. They're miserable. I want everybody to be happy. I want her to be happy. I want me to be happy. I want me to be happy. But, you know, it's just tough because you want your happiness to come. Boy, let somebody get happier before you. Oh, this bitch just beat me to happiness.

I got some happy catching up to do. You know, but at the end of the day, it's important for both people to be happy because your mental and how you feel is a reflection of what's going on with your son. I remember one time we were going through

an argument or whatever. She was on the phone crying. I heard Austin in the background. And this was over the dog. Because she wasn't happy that I got the dog. And I didn't talk to her.

She hadn't met her yet. She hadn't met me. I was of the notion that I paid everything so I could get a dog. But not only that, a little puppy. Don't want a fucking little puppy for a kid. It must have been. The minute I met Maggie. The minute I met Maggie.

Maggie came to me and I was like, oh, man. I love this dog. I'm taking it. And my friend met Maggie, Maggie came to me and I was like, oh man, I love this dog. I'm taking it. And my friend Mickey said, okay. I was like, the fuck y'all got a puppy mill or something? You just give a dog away like that? Black people give up dogs different. They just hand you the dog.

But I can say Maggie was raised as a white dog in the beginning because once I got the dog, she had all the shots. She had all types of collars. Black people just say, huh? You don't get no collar, no dog bowl or nothing. It's just like, you're on your own. And then depending on where I be the dog, you're like, yo, you know how much it's going to cost to feed this mother? But I feel like I wasn't in the business of, I wasn't looking for a dog.

But she just came my way at the right time, you know. And all I could think about was how happy that dog was going to make Austin. Because Austin, he has two perpetual stuff errands. And he called my little brother and my little sister. And he dresses them in his old

clothes. Like he got out like, we gotta get rid of some of these clothes. There's too many clothes. But Austin dresses them up. He got a whole wardrobe for his little brother and sister. He talked to little brother and sister. So I'm like this. As much, originally when I got Maggie, it was just for Austin. I was like,

what little boy is that? I'm like, little dog. I was getting so much pushback. You so disrespectful. You disrespectful. I can't believe you. I was like, you see how cute this dog is? I don't want to live with no motherfucker. No shit. No local place. I'm like this. This little shit that he has, you can believe it. I was like, you see how cute this dog is? I don't want to live in this motherfucking dog shit. No local place. I'm like this,

this little shit that he has, you can pluck it. I can see if I adopted a 12 year old fucking German Shepherd, man. Those are hot loads. But maybe he can poop and you're like, it's okay.

I'm like, but the dog is, it's going to need training or whatever. So originally the dog was for Austin. And then when I was getting all the pushback, I don't want to live, you don't take care of the dog is going to need training so originally the dog was for Austin and then when I was getting all the pushback I don't know so I was like I'll take you to the dog I'm like I'll take you to the dog I'll take the dog with me

now I'm going from it being Austin's dog to now it's back to being a road road dog I got paperwork I got all the all the compliances I got all the compliances. I got all that type of shit. And this is so fucking funny.

This is my fuck-up, my son. She was upset one day. I can't believe it. No, no. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Now I'm going to be fine. I was going to get emotional. I'm just going to be shit.

And she was crying. And I hear it all in emotional about stupid shit. And she was crying. And I hear Austin in the background. Daddy. And I told her, I said, if you're going to be crying on this phone call, let's talk later. Because I don't want Austin to see his mommy sad. I never, I don't want that. I don't want, especially when he knows that I'm on the phone. Now he's going to be like, you're making, mommy, you're making daddy sad, right?

And I was like, God. That's my son going to make a lot of money. And then Spurs on the phone crying. He's dead in the background. And he was like, daddy, I was like, what? He said, daddy. I said, what? He said, I'm so happy.

I said, what? He said, you got a dog, daddy. And I had this sinister like it's two against one it's three against one he was like daddy I'm so excited you got me a doggy

I always wanted daddy I'm too excited I think I might be too excited I said well get your phone cause I got him his own iPhone okay

he was like it's too young nope you ain't be blocking that shit from me my son can pick up you know the FaceTime or whatever that's why I did the phone he said well it's too young no he ain't be blocking that shit with me my son can pick up you know FaceTime me

whatever that's why I did the phone well he's too young no he's not I want to be able to talk to him when I want

he talks to me he was like I was like when I'm on FaceTime he's like dang oh I got to go try my phone

because I'm going to have all my battery life when I get to talk to Maggie when I get to see Maggie did you get her

clothes do you got her clothes and I'm so this? And I'm so, this is crazy, I'm so old school, you know, I will admit I'm old school. I don't know what. It was interesting because

I bought Maggie these clothes and some dresses. Tons of clothes. And you put that long. Look, I got her some dresses, right? And then, you know, I got some dresses. Tons of dresses. And then you put that long Look, I got her some dresses, right?

And then, you know, I got her dresses. So I was like, um, his brother said, his sister said, I often want

you to dress, maybe a dress that's in a picture. So I'm like, what does this mean? Because I'm so

stupid and ignorant. You know what I mean because I'm so stupid and ignorant you know what I mean I don't know when a guy or girl's sexuality I'm just being honest I don't know

when it comes in when do you feel like the discontribute to a lifestyle or I don't know I'm stupid

when it comes in but I'm open to this and that so I'm all worried I'm like oh shit son I'm gonna dress the motherfucker in the, but I'm open to it. This is where, so I'm all worried. I'm like, oh, shit. Son, I'm going to dress the motherfucker in the dress.

That means he's going to walk out in the dress. I ain't getting no baby dress. Or he's very intelligent. He knows a girl wears a dress. Here's the point. This is, you know, he flushed me out. So, then it was like, he posted a picture of Maggie with a dress on Instagram. It also said, why didn't he send me the picture first? He's gloving, he's like,

why didn't he send me the picture first? I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and not to worry as if I had anything to worry about. And then Austin said,

Mama, I don't know why Daddy is making this such a big anything to worry about. Right. And then Austin said, Mom, I don't know why Daddy is making this such a big deal. He bought the dress. No! I was like, it's me! Exactly.

It was like, his little way of saying, maybe you bought the dress. Maybe if you would've bought a hoodie, maybe if you would've bought a hoodie, the bitch would have bought a hoodie. You bought all these cute-ass goddamn tiara dresses or whatever it's called.

What is it? The chicks, the mothers be going. Tutu. The tutu. And Austin's like, I was like, all right. But he is learning responsibility because he went to Petco, and he was picking out stuff.

And when he usually always wants something for himself, he wanted something for that little one, for Maggie. But I didn't know what, like, with this little puppy, this is so funny because we went on a trip. This was the greatest trip ever. I did a show for BET,

and they asked me, what is a bucket list thing you want to do? And I remember when I was younger and my father ran an RV, right? All his kids. My father got mad kids. His wife had mad kids. Just eight more. Mad loads of his kids.

And one summer, he ran an RV and his sister, Aunt Alice, took all his kids on a road trip to themself in the RV. I don't have a lot of memories with my dad in regards to eventful things like going to concerts and all that type of stuff. There was probably two handful of memories. That was one that I remember

to this day. I remember all the kids being in the RV. I remember my father giving my aunt a stack of money and she was peeling off the top. She was like, I remember my father giving my aunt a stack of money and she was peeling off the top. She was like, I remember like a knock. And we went to the amusement park. I'm like, whoa, all that money

that bitch got, we about to do a roller coaster. That bitch pulled out a 10 and gave us. I was like, fuck, I'm going to the gift shop with this bullshit. All I wanted to do was go to the gift shop. When I was younger, I thought only rich people went to the gift shop with this bullshit. All I wanted to do was go to the gift shop. When I was younger, I thought only rich people went to the gift shop, like the gift shop. I knew there was no reason for me to go to the gift shop.

And if I went there, it was because something was going to get stolen. So it's no sense going to the gift shop. I didn't even fuck myself up going there like, ah, can't afford this. Ah, can't afford this. So we went on this RV trip. My uncle's pulling off money. And remember, we went to Myrtle Beach. We went crabbing.

And we caught all these crabs. Because we eat these. We can't wait to eat crabs. What happened was, from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, back to Fayetteville, North Carolina, it was like three hours. We got to know the crabs. They became friends. They went from, like,

we want to eat these motherfuckers to, like, Charlie the crab. Right. Cynthia. They all had names. My sister took, like, fingernail polish and painted on it. And we were, like, racing in this shit.

And then we got to my grandma's house. We had the crabs out on the grass. We went, hey. You know what I mean? They were doing that dance and everything. And I remember, I could see the steam out on the grass. Hey! They were doing their dance and everything. And I remember I could see the steam coming out of the window. I could see the steam

coming from the window. And I heard my aunt say, bring them crabs in here. We was like, for what? For crabs. She was like, we're going to eat them. I was like, murder! Yo, I was like, and gonna eat and I'm like murder man yo I was like

and she didn't give a fuck you couldn't imagine it's like some kids sitting around taking we ain't eating

none of these crab all we hear is yeah did you hear them go because they scream no you don't usually hear that with lobsters usually but not with crabs

I thought the blue crab they don't scream they don't you don't hear scream I think the thing is when you hear when you hear it. When you hear them trying to get out.

When you hear this thing, it's like. We thought she was the worst. But I remember that R&B. I remember that trip. Everything about that trip. And I always told myself. I was like, if I ever had a kid, I can't wait to take him on an RV trip. So we reached out.

Shout out to Cruise America because me and Ford, we rented a 25-foot RV. We drove from New Jersey to Yellow Springs, Ohio, and then from Yellow Springs, Ohio, to Washington, D.C., where I had a show at RFK Stadium. Shout out for everybody that bought a ticket. 280 cars per show. I was the first comic to sell both shows. It was cold. People were in their cars. We were in a row.

Austin's having an amazing time. 40's not the best driver. My friend 40, he looks for potholes and speed bumps. And me and Austin was in the back. I'm trying to go to sleep and every time he hit a bump,

I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck, 40? And Austin's like, dang, that was a good one. He thought it was an adventure the fact that he was on an RV

with my boy's 40 son. He's who, 17? Janius, 11, I think. Austin's five and Maggie's 5 months. So we had the perfect system. Jaden made sure Naya was okay. Naya made sure Austin was okay. And Austin made sure Maggie was okay.

And out of all of those kids, Austin was the worst parent. Because he does not understand that Maggie needs to sleep. Somebody said, Austin be handling Maggie like she a iPad. Like Maggie will be sleep curled up on my lap and she'll be like, come on Maggie. And one time, before he was driving and I was in the passenger seat and Austin was in the back sleep, Austin woke up out of his sleep, came, snatched Maggie out of my lap, went back and laid with her. And then he said, Daddy, come back here and lay with me and Maggie. He does not understand. I got to let him know.

I was like, Austin, we don't wake you up out of your sleep like that. But I'm not a dog, Daddy. Yeah, he probably doesn't really. He doesn't get it. He knows that that's his little sister. He loves her. It was so funny because the hardest thing was because Stephanie was complaining about

huh The dog took a beat. I'm like, please don't keep calling me about these mistakes I was only an offer out if you don't walk the dog he will piss and shit It's part of the training. Yes. So then I'm there and I'm like, I can't leave this dog with her. She already don't like me. I don't have her to you without a baby. Oh, no. He didn't tell me what happened, right?

I'm like, baby, who's like last? Did she beat you? What the fuck did she do? Bark once if she hits you. So I'm nervous now. And I'm nervous. And I've got to deliver now because Austin is attached to the dog. Yeah.

Austin already told me. He said, Daddy, wherever Maggie goes, I go. Wherever you go, me and Maggie go. So now, all this is going to break down into real life. Yeah. So then I'm using the dog to explain real life to him. Well, you know, Austin, sometimes you can't always be with your parents when you want to.

I'm using the dog as explaining. I was like, well, you know, Maggie's going to have fun with either you or me. He was like, yeah. I was like, sometimes he's going to spend more time with me. Sometimes he's going to spend more time with you. I'm just trying to hit him like,

I'm just trying to hit him., I'm just trying to hit him. And he wrote me this song, right? And this song, he said, I'll climb every mountain. I'll swim every ocean to be with my daddy. I don't know if this is that verse, but this is such a touching song. And then he said,

I know you have to leave, but you'll always come back. He was like, just for the time, he used his words to explain what was going to go on in a life of man. And I said, Austin, do you remember

that song, Climbing the Ocean, I mean, Climbing the Mountain, Swimming in the Ocean, you know that song? Well, that's how it's gonna be. He looked at me and he says, Daddy, I wrote that song for you. He said, I didn't write a bandit song. He said, Daddy, Maggie wasn't even here. Yo, he was looking at me like, motherfucker, that story got nothing to do with this.

I told you, whatever Maggie is, you're going to be there. The toughest part, the first time I went on a trip with Maggie, without him, I told him, I said, I'm going to come back and get you, and you're going to go. We're going to see how this works out with us,

if you want to say spitting a dog, or whatever. But, me and Austin are going to be co-parenting Maggie. That sounds like a plan. You're going to get pregnant without

love. No I'm joking that's not going to happen. I reviewed that. You gotta get pregnant. You gotta get. I'm open to it. I'm just. You know how many people I know that want You gotta get pregnant. You gotta get... I'm open to it. I'm just... You know what I mean?

You might know the one that get you pregnant. I... You got a big one. Javanta. Because it's so funny. Because the women... Yo, who wants to get

Javanta pregnant? No! Who wants to see posters put up all the time? Who lives? That's right, ladies and gentlemen, we start it right here. Who's going to get Javante pregnant? You know she likes to eat a lot now.

You know it's going to be even crazier when she's pregnant. You know she gets a state attitude now. It's going to be nuts when she's pregnant. But what's going to happen is she's pregnant but what's gonna happen is she's gonna be the most beautiful the most loving mom and the reason why i say that because her mom is that person and her mom also has a fat ass You can see it. Javanta. Beyonce. Diana D. Butt. And Javanta says,

Mommy, where you think I got it from? This is the Javanta Show. It's always a show about nothing. Sometimes we make you feel good. Sometimes we make you feel bad. But we don't do anything. We make you think about something. And so next time, I want to say happy holidays.

Shout out to everybody who supported me on my birthday party. And don't forget, Atlanta Comedy Theater. New Year's Eve, Thursday through Sunday. One of the greatest comedy classes in the world. With some of the best acts who have been able to survive the pandemic. Let's go. Thank you.