Donnell - Nick's Cannon! #072

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

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Hey boys and girls, this is boy Donnie Rollins and first off I want to personally thank you for helping the Donnie Rollins Show grow. In a matter of five weeks, we've gained over 15,000 new subscribers. That's you, you, you, you, you. And the motherfucker that didn't do it, it's not you. I want to take this time to say thank you, but we want to keep going, keep pushing forward. So I encourage you to tell all your friends, all your fans, subscribe to the donnell rowling show on youtube and all podcast platforms sooner or later we will have a sponsor and i'll be out promoting things that help me with uh erectile dysfunction it's always a dick pic first and if you're curious where i'll be performing well haha you came to the

right place you probably ask yourself Donnell all right enough I subscribe where are you gonna be performing and if that's the question you ask is the answer I give you March 4th through the 6th I'll be at the Miami improv March 17th and 20th I'll be a helium in Philadelphia Pennsylvania that's the 18th through the 19th I changed that date no 17th 18thth, I'll be at Helium's in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. That's the 18th through the 19th. I changed that date. No, 17th, 18th through the 19th. All right.

Now, time for the show. The Donnell Rawlings Show, live in your face. Fuck that bitch-ass nigga. You'll never take my place, nigga Thank you. Do you know? Why do you always do this? What? Every time we're ready to go to work, why are you always on the fucking phone?

Because I'm looking at for, I'm trying to still make my movie. I'm approving songs. So what? So what you're telling me is that right now when we're supposed to work, did you find time

to work on some other shit? Do you know I'm a woman and we can multitask? Do I know you're a woman? You know how I know you're a woman? The last three episodes, the last three episodes and your shirt game has definitely,

if there's any way to understand that a woman is a woman, it's right over there. Yeah, so you're moving from my titties to my mind and just know I can multitask. I'm thinking about five different things right now,

but I'm still having this conversation with you. The difference with that and you is that, you know, it's tough on a nigga. It's tough on... You know what slowed men's... Desire to... desire to flirt or just say anything like

20 years ago, 20 years ago, I would have been like, damn, okay. I see you. Hold on. What you trying to do? Hold on.

I knew you 20 years ago, and you were not ever saying that. To you? Yeah. Because I never looked at you like that. Exactly. Not in a bad way, you know. I never looked at you like that.

Like, I always looked at you like, you know, my sister. But even with that said, I think every guy at some point, you see, I think every guy at some point, when you see, I think every guy at some point, whatever the relationship is going to be, whether it's going to be homie,

lover, friends, whatever, you have to look at a woman at some point, and this is not a test, but you say some shit like, oh, she could get it. Like, do women do that? Do women do that? Like, listen to me. Like, me like even with like oh there's no

chance but oh but oh he could get it does that I think so but as a woman we know well in advance when we first met you if you were gonna get it really yeah I mean saw you. I don't get no pussy like that. What I'm saying, you say, oh, you, oh, that's right, I'm talking about me. Because the reason why I say that, I've never, I've never been the dude that, like, this is going to probably be self-deprecating humor, but I've never been the dude

where, you know, it's some niggas that pull up and motherfuckers just stop everything. They like, damn. That nigga is fine. I never got that. Really? Ever.

Everybody has different tastes. I'm pretty sure you've gotten that from somebody. I mean, as I got more successful, I started looking better. If that contributes to being fired and shit. No, but I've never been that person. I've always been the guy that it was strictly off personality. And then when I got with a chick, they have said, I don't believe that just happened.

How did he get me? How'd he get me? I think it was 100% personality. I remember one time I was dating this chick. She was an Irish chick, right? And I was like this, man, ain't nobody fuck with me because of anything I've done on television, you know? And then right at the climactic moment,

they said, I can't believe I fucked Ashi Larry. vision, you know? And then right at the climactic moment, it's been said, I can't believe I fucked Ashi Larry. Bless my lucky heart. I was like, oh man. She's like, I can't believe. I was like, bitch, there ain't no Ashi Larry, there's Don L. But fuck that. I feel like in life, whatever. However you can get there, you can get

there, you know? That's how we roll. whatever, however you can get there, you can get there. You know? That's how we roll. Yeah. But you look great. Thank you. Thank you. You look very good. I tried putting little clip-ins today for the first time.

Black Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Negro. Marilyn. Marilyn Negro. Yo, that's it. Yo. But can you say Negro? Negro?

I can say Negro. I just don't say the other word. The N-word? Yeah. But don't you think, okay, I don't want to keep on with this N-word shit, but it's just so weird. Think about, all right,

it's the word or the intent of it. So, this, I mean, this conversation is so old or whatever, but it's something you never, but like, like, if a person's like, if a person's like... If a white racist person says...

Wait a minute, now. I'll be fighting. We get to the bottom line. And with this voice right here, with the voice, I told you, I mean, like, I told y'all

to get off the lawn. You know that southern drill told you, I mean, like, I told y'all to get off the lawn. You know that Southern drill? If, I mean, would you be offended if a motherfucker said, hey, N-word, N-word, get out of my yard, you nasty thieving N-word? Or, nigga? They like, do they feel, does it feel the same? I feel like at least when they say N-word, they're trying a little bit

not to be rude. But when they say N-word, they're trying not to use it. That's not the truth. When you say N-word, you are trying to use it. But see, he ain't mad enough. You know what I mean?

Like, oh, you're not mad enough then. But the thing is, when you're trying not to use it, means you want to use it. Yo, if you are trying so hard not to say nigga, that means you really want to say nigga. Facts. You know?

Like, oh, man. I am so fucking sick of words. Words are a lot. I know words are a lot. Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me. That's the only shit in the book. And I'm saying my frustration is people, and this is not specific to anybody that's having news,

but it's a conversation that has been going on forever. Yo, man, you letting words disturb you so much. What is behind the words? You know, what is behind the words? I had an incident some years ago. I just got recently fired or moved in a new direction at Power 105. I lost the job for whatever reason.

Somebody threw me on the bus. I won't say no names. You know who you is. And I was having a bad, that started off as a bad week. And then anytime I'm in a situation where I'm going through anything

emotional in my life, whether it's good, bad, whatever, the first place I want to go, I want to go have therapy. And I want to go have therapy on stage. That is my $200 an hour. That is my learn the words and everything. That's my true therapy, being able

to go out and go on stage. And usually what's going on in my mind is reflective of what's going on in my mind is reflective of what's going on in my life is reflective of my comedy. You can tell when I'm mad, angry, or whatever. So I lost this job. That didn't really fuck with me too much.

But I was like, fuck that. I gotta do my shit. I'm a comedian. Went to go do this show in Jersey City, I think it was. Did the show, dope show. Come out of the club. Get in my car. I'm in the middle of the street waiting for more people to come.

And there's a truck behind me. A big-ass truck. One of them high trucks. You ever see them trucks that be sitting on big-ass wheels? Oh, that's you. Yeah, that's right. That is your truck. I'm saying,

but normally, when you see that size truck, you know it's a nigga five foot in that motherfucker. It's usually the shortest motherfucker. It's their dick. The truck is their dick. That's right.

I've heard that before, right? That's a dick extension. Shout out to all the motherfuckers in Ohio driving them trucks. So, I'm in the car, and then the truck behind me, boom, boom, boom. Get the fuck out of the way. And I was like, I've heard that.

It's New York. I've heard road rage. Get the fuck out of the way. Move, motherfucker. That doesn't startle me or get me upset. And then I hear, move that car, nigger. I was like, you see my face? I did like this.

I did like. You told me the story and my face still twerked a little bit. Yeah, no, wait a minute. I was like, it was like, move, get out of the street, nigger. And I'm like, who is this nigger calling me a nigger? Right? I'm like, no, this, no, this nigga not. Right?

That's how the word has so many different meanings, right? And got out of the truck. I was like, yo, what the fuck is your problem? He's like, fuck you. Fuck you. Move that car. Nigga. And I was like, oh, he just hit the two nigga minimum.

Right? I was like, this is the set off. Motherfucker was about to say it again. And this, you could tell a guy that grew up in D.C. because when you describe throwing punches, it sounds like this. He said, the third nigga, I said, and it was like this, bloop, blah.

You know, that's how you reenact. In the hood, you reenact a fight. How you hit him? I hit him, bloop, bloop, blah, blah. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Right? And I know some people like this. That didn't look like the fights you got in on TMZ.

Every time we see you on TMZ, you knocking yourself out, nigga. Okay, that was back in the day. This the old Don L. Bloop, block. Yo, I'm like this. I hit them with this. You know you always throw a couple, two extra punches on them when you tell your fight story. It's one punch. Like, I'm like this. I hit him with this. You know, you always throw a couple, two extra punches on him. When you tell your fight story, it's one punch.

Like, uh. But I was like, yo, I hit him. I was like, bloop, bloop, bloop. Right? Patak. Patak. Yeah, patak out. You know.

Patak. I know. Patak. Mick, Mick, Mick. Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick. Bloop. Bloop is one problem in D.C. Bloop.

A bloop is like a right hook. It's a right hook, and you get the sound of it coming back. Do it. I need you to practice it. Bloop. All right, show me your fight combination if you wasn't afraid.

Tick, tick, tick. Tick, tick. Tick, tick. Bloop. Bloop. Bloop. Bam, nigga, you knocked the fuck out. He's gone.

Boom, so after I knocked the nigga out, right? There's footage somewhere, right? Boom, I didn't knock him out, but I knocked him down, right? But I was like this. I was standing over like Muhammad Ali, right? And then I saw a motherfucking gun come out of his jacket. Blue hoop. Yo, that gun came out,

nigga. That motherfucker grabbed that gun, and he, this motherfucker said, this is a true story. He pulled that gun out, he said, fuck, fuck! Now what, nigga? And it was in that moment that I

realized I didn't want to fight anymore. I was like, we can have a better conversation over a glass of wine. When that motherfucker bust him shot, fuck, fuck. I don't give a fuck how tough a nigga you are. Your neck just crumbled up. I was like, oh shit. He was like, now what nigga? I was like, man, fuck you. And I don't think he had intentions on shooting me, but the fact that he had a gun and he was shooting in the air, and I backed in, I got to that motherfucking car. Ah! Right? I take off.

Then the story comes out. Right? And this is the crazy shit. I was, I got nervous. Because I'm like, oh man they're going to try

this is how a lot of black people feel even when you know what one situation is you say to yourself they're going to try to say they're going to try to say a lot of shit what did you do?

they had surveillance tape, but on a surveillance tape, there's no audio. So all you see is me and this guy blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, talking. And then I haul off on him. And you don't hear what he's saying?

You don't hear nigga, nigga. Yeah. You didn't hear the nigga part. Nigga is not in the audio. There's no audio recording of nigga. It's not in the mode. It's just like this. It's like this.

And nigga be like this. Oh, that nigga was trying to rob him. They can say anything. But then I was nervous. And I just talked to this lawyer. I said, man, I got a feeling that they're going to try to flip this. Right? I was like, there's no audio.

He said, oh, man, all you got to do is say you felt like you was in imminent danger. First off, I didn't know what imminent, I didn't know all the dangers. I knew the mystical danger. Danger. Yeah. Get on the floor.

Yeah. It's the nigga right there the nigga right there hit him danger I knew that danger I didn't know that he said you feel like you're imminent danger

I said what the fuck is imminent danger he said if you feel like you were about to be threatened you can respond to that so I was like I could just feel a certain way and just set it off. He was like, imminent danger. The minute he told me what imminent danger was, everywhere I went for the last year, I thought I was in imminent danger. I was ready to set it off anywhere.

McDonald's, no ketchup for my french fries. Blooper, bitch. Do you warn them and say, I'm in imminent danger right now. You better back down. No, imminent danger is like this. It's like imminent danger is like out of nowhere. Imminent danger is like,

hey, I'm about to throw a punch at you. I'm going to get aggregated. Imminent danger is like, what the fuck is you doing? You know what I mean? It's like that. And I, and listen to what I'm saying.'s like that. And I, and, listen to what I'm

saying. I beat it. As I should. And he lost his, he owned a gun shop in Jersey. Oh, shit. Yeah, and it worked out. And I felt very white. He lost his? This is what, see, most white people are just, yeah, man, I want to

fuck him up. Right? No, no, no. I felt great that knowing that he lost his business, that he worked so many years to build, over being an idiot. And those, that incident is an incident where if you're racist, if you hate somebody because of their color of their skin or whatever, it could affect them.

It could affect in my life, everything, you know? But the funny thing is in the news report, it was like this. It was like they said three black guys got in a car, right? It was two black chicks,

but they had short hair. Wait, it wasn't me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, it was this chick I was dating at the time and she had just, and they was real mad.

When they heard the news report, they was happy they was in the news, right? They was like this. They didn't have to say we was three men in the car. Like, they was mad. They wanted to go do another shooting when they got their shit right. I caught them on, like, off day

where their face wasn't beat. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't snatched and such. It was just like a regular go to the comedy club, go to the comedy club type of face. But that's when I feel like words like really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really can hurt you. And that's before the blooper, blooper, blooper.

But as my mom would say, you got to pray on it and just let God do it. God got the answers. God. That's what my mother said, God. I like your mom. You just did a post about your mom. My mother is... She is open for you.

Was your mom into a religious person? She was when I was younger. My grandmother was super religious. Everything. We start, the cousins, we start fighting. This is back in Louisville. She just starts, she turns up the, whoever happens to be playing on the radio, whatever the gospel guy is.

Church nigger, church nigger. I rebuke these demons from my house. Oh, she was one of them. Oh, she walk around the Bible, start hitting us when we were fighting. Yeah. Well, did she, did she, like, that's how, I know that's where my mom got it from. My grandma was really into religion. Like, she was into religion.

She was into working. She was into her family. Man, let me tell you something, man. They're around here. But it was certain women was cut from a different cloth altogether. they're around here. But it was certain women was cut from a different cloth altogether. That, I'm going to tell you

what really makes a black woman so strong is what she has to endure and what she has to deal with. That's where, I think that's the true definition of a strong black woman. And we can multitask.

Multitask. I know not all of them. Some motherfuckers get exhausted by doing anything. But I feel like, no, even those ones still have it in them, but they've maybe given up. Because people ask a lot of us over time. where like work worked cleaning buildings cleaning her house seven kids

doing it still ready at a certain time and that was what she did. Yeah, I have dinner ready every day at five o'clock. You do? Mm-hmm.

I love that. Or like when the kids were at school and I had to go take the other one two hours to water polo, I'd cook early in the morning the dinner, and then I'll be ready for the next one to get home to have it, and I have the to-go one for the one that I'm driving with. And I'm going to say the realest shit. With that, and the women back then,

with that, dealing with working, dealing with cooking, dealing with cleaning, dealing with family, dealing with all these kids, and then dealing with your husband, who's also equally... A child. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, sorry. No, my grandfather was a shit. Okay.

No, my grandfather was a shit. My grandfather, my grandfather, he was a shit. Like, he was a mason, a bricklayer, basically. But, like, he had D.C. on lockdown. Like, he was a hardworking motherfucker. And, you know, usually, this is about to be the realest shit. Usually, the hardworking motherfuckers that provide and do everything, they feel like they can do whatever they want.

Yeah. In a sense of, you know. How many other kids you got out there? I don't think he had no other jokes, but I think he was probably gunning for some side jokes. You know, they like, and I think on, and that motherfuckers tolerated both sides of it. Yeah.

As women, you mean? Yep. Yeah. Who could we, I think as women. But women could get fed up too. I think back then too, the women understood what men were going through when they had to go to work. Like it wasn't just easy breezy. Right.

You know, my papa, he was deaf and also dealing with. I got a question for you. I got a question. I got a question for you. I got a question. I got a question. All right. Is it worse to be cheated on with... What am I saying? I'm so curious. Is it worse to be cheated on for an ain't shit nigga

with a nigga ain't shit nigga or a motherfucker that do everything? This might be... I know people are going to do, but this is a very good question. This is a very good question. I have heard situations, motherfuckers like, as long as he doing this, as long as he doing this, as long as he doing this, and I don't have to know

about this or whatever, I don't care. Is it worse like a motherfucker to step out on you that ain't got shit you trying to inspire and motivate?

Or is it worse for a motherfucker that's doing everything? What do you think? That's an easy question. That's an easy question. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no.

First of all, if I ask you a question, it's not what do I think. I'm asking a question to hear what the black Monroe wants to say. I'm going to answer you. Right. The one that's taking care of the house. Like, you're more willing.

The less worry I have day to day, the less I have to worry about you. Okay. You heard this term? Well kept. Well kept. Well kept. It's important to be well kept. Absolutely.

So you niggas out here just cheating and you borrowing your bitch car, she loaning you money, she buying your shoes, she cooking for you. You niggas need to stop.

They need to stop. They need to stop. Stop it right now. Right now, before you, you probably on the comments right now talking about, we ain't here for that shit, nigga. Stop trying to be my therapist. You bum ass niggas need to stop.

Stop now. And leave the cheating to the real ones. Leave your good women alone. Right. What? Leave the real ones. Leave your good women alone. Right. What? Leave the good women.

Leave these good women alone. What's a good woman? I don't know what the fuck that means. You named it the same thing as your grandma, the same thing as your mom, like the ones that have

But ain't nobody doing, they ain't built like that no more. You gotta get four, five, you gotta get four, five bitches to get one bitch now. You looking in the wrong places.

No. No. Look, I'm sitting next to one right now. What do you mean? We are out there. My friends are them. Fuck all that. You probably crazy, nigga.

Fuck is you talking about? I see all this. I see all this. That shit don't come out until two years later. Oh, you didn't know that, right? You didn't know that. You didn't know who I, well, this is, yeah, you'd be like, this is who I really am. You'd be like this.

Oh, shit. You start going back, I, well, this is, yeah, you'd be like, this is who I really am. You'd be like this, oh, shit. You start going back, like, I remember that one time at dinner, and she said so-and-so, I should have known the bitch was crazy then. Crazy.

There's a range. There's a different range. You know what? I agree with you with that because I hear a bunch of people talking about that bitch crazy, but what we don't never take into consideration

is that for the most part, we make bitches crazy. Period. By doing stupid shit. This girl, I did a show the other night, this girl bitches crazy. Period. By doing stupid shit. This girl, I did a show the other night. This girl came up to me like I'm Dr. Phil or something, right?

Yo, it was last night. It was at D-Ray's. Shout out to D-Ray. Happy belated birthday. This girl came up to me talking about, Donnell, I got a question for you.

I was just listening to your podcast and you said something, but I got a question for you. I was like, I hope you're not going to take any of my advice. She was like, well, my boyfriend, she said, this is what this bitch said.

This bitch said, well, my boyfriend, I saw something on his phone. He had texted this girl, right? And she acted like I was going to listen to the rest of the story. You're like, why are you looking at his phone? Yo, nigga, I'm not. She acted like she was going to get that whole sentence out. She acted like she was going to get that whole sentence out. She was like, Danielle, so I saw something on his phone.

She said it like it was her phone. The way I feel, women. Go. Women, if you feel like you need to look through your man's phone, you probably shouldn't even be with him because he's probably doing exactly what you think he's doing. Hit it. All I'm saying, only thing I'm saying,

she came to me like she just blew past going through his phone. Like, she just act like that was like, I mean, I don't know what it is. Women around the phone, son, they'll start scratching. They'll start scratching, son. They'll be like, ugh.

Nah, fuck that shit. Fuck that. He did just jump in the shower. Yeah, yeah. She said, I, she sent me, she said, she,

she said, he was texting this other girl, whatever. And I couldn't get, I was like, um, why, were you on his phone?

She said, no, it wasn't like that. It was just, it was just right there. if it's like, what's that the rule? If your phone is the six feet of a chick, she has the right to go through your shit? But they usually locked, too.

So, I mean, she probably put it up to his face and locked it somehow. You can put it on your face? Well, no. I mean, like, if I walk by you with your phone, I could do this. Would my eyes be closed? I think so.

Let's try. Okay, wait a minute. Come on. Look at it. closed? I think so. Let's try. Okay, wait a minute. Can I look at it? Hold on. Go ahead. Let me see. Right now my eyes are closed. Is it open?

No, it's not. Now it's just open. No. Wait, let me see. See it? Let me see. If anybody... Look, I'm just open. Wait, let me see. See it? Let me see if anybody... Look, I'm just learning. Look, I'm trying to keep my eyes out the way I'm like this.

Maybe if you put profile, does the profile work? But she said, I don't know what to do. He's going to be in town until Thursday. We plan on doing so-and-so, so-and-so, and we're going to do this. We plan on having a good time. But I don't know if I should say something. I know, it's always a tough one. You know what I told her?

Bitch, go to dinner. You know what I'm saying? Go to dinner. But then I also said, because this, what is it going to mean to you? Like, I said, do you really like this guy? What is it going to mean to you? Was it a flirtatious moment?

Is he fuck with another bitch? I'm like, is this your guy, guy? Well, we've been off and on for three or five years. I mean, guess what off means? Pussy on. You know, off and on relationship. That's saying we was fucking, then we started. So,

what I think, that's what I said, maybe he's not taking the relationship as serious as you are. Or maybe some

motherfuckers just got bitches. I mean, that's great advice. You know, some people just got, some people got bitches. I mean, that's great advice. You know, some people just got... Some people got bitches. Yeah. Don't make them a bad person. They just got bitches.

And there's those people that... I mean women. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Then there's the people that automatically they'll start a fight just because they know they're going on vacation. They know they're going to Vegas. Oh, that's the oldest trick of the book.

That's the oldest trick of the book. We were off. We were off. Man, I was in a relationship once. I will never pinpoint these relationships. You guess who you are, right? And me, I'm sitting here

guessing which one it is. You just guess who you are. And I'm guessing which girl it is personally. I like this. I was in a situation where I felt that, you know,

it was like probably close to the end. And I was like, listen, you don't have to be mad at me to be happy. You know what I'm saying? Like,

and that's the part where you like that argument shit. Oh, I'm out of here, girl. You don't have to be, this may sound crazy, you don't have to be mad at me to get your happiness because ultimately,

I know people are like, you soft nigga. Ultimately, anybody that I've dated or whatever, I really root for their happiness. With that said, hoping it could be me that give you the happiness.

You know what I'm saying? That's you. But if it's not, because the relationship, you know at one point when you was happy in a relationship, it was everything. You was spitting like,

uh, uh, uh. The first year. The first year. That's where it happens. And you just feel like that. You was spitting like, uh, uh, uh. The first year. The first year. That's where it happens. And you just feel like that. You'll do anything. Then after a while, motherfuckers start backing down

on what they did. You start seeing the real person, which probably is not a bad person, but nobody's going to sit in that. Well, this is what you get. You know? And I've come to the level of just get your happiness.

I think that's with anybody. I don't believe that there is one way of being in a relationship. Yeah. No, there's not. You never know. And I was watching that show, Married at First Sight or Love is Blind over the weekend. You asked me what I was doing this weekend. And I was binge watching this show.

And I watched person after person sabotage what they thought was love and just overthinking themselves and overthinking the other person. And I was like, how much do I do that in relationships? And I see my friends doing it in their relationships where things are great,

but then you got to sabotage it somehow just because, like, if it doesn't work out, like, I don't know. But I think it comes down to, like, what is your idea of love? It's not a set, like, well, you know, people are like this, well,

there's no way you could say you love this person and you do this. There's no way. That's the first thing a chick say when you step out on a bitch. I mean, on a queen. Right? The first thing queens...

When you step out to... On a queen bitch. That's what we're talking about. Right? It's the first thing... This is some honest shit. First thing they say is, you don't love me.

But you're saying after you stepped out on them. Yeah. Right, right. No, what I'm saying is like this. No, here's the thing. You don't love me. How could you say you love me and fuck her?

I'll tell you how. Um. I like pussy. Um. So you're telling me that men can really... Exactly. Okay, the weak side. You can really be in love with the So you're telling me that men can really... Exactly. You can really be in love with the person you're with

and love everything about them and still step out. Yes. 1,000% because... Y'all ain't shit. No, that's your definition. Let me tell you something. It's like we hunters. We want to hunt.

The idea... I know it's a level of maturity when you get we want to hunt. The idea is that I know it's a level of maturity when you get to a point where you don't have those thoughts at all. But the natural idea for a man is to hunt, is to take that motherfucker down.

You know what I'm saying? And some people, like, I really believe that a person could want to say, I love somebody and do something like that because we want the hunt. We want to be able to know she could get it.

Now, certain people get to a certain point, and I'm trying my hardest, to a point where, like, none of that matters anymore. You know what I mean? But everybody not built like that. It doesn't make a person a fucked up person, but everybody's not built like that. I think the strongest niggas, to be quite honest, is them happily ever after niggas. You know, okay, this is it.

I'm saying that this is, that's a tough one. This is the only pussy for me. What? In my life. Y'all, you like, ooh. That's what them niggas be passing out. Yo, when they be at the altar, they be like this, yo. They say, I can see them niggas

looking at me like this. Whoa, somebody gotta get behind them. Yup, this the only way I'm gonna look. Oh. Blah, blah. That's the hardest shit. That's the hardest shit for a person to do. I think, like, yeah, that's why I think, like, in places, I understand people like, yeah, over in Africa,

you can have as many wives as you want. You can have three. You're going to have three? Three. In most countries, it's three. Yeah, but here's the thing. Like, everybody out here be like this, yeah, nigga. I like the Africa shit.

They say you can have up to three wives. Yeah, but there's conditions with that. Period. Can you take care of all three? And all them children. You can tell the niggas, you can tell the African niggas they can afford three wives.

They walk different. Them three, And their suits? I'm not talking about the Africans selling the shea butter on 125th Street. I'm not talking about the niggas that got the Rolex watches for $50. I'm talking about them behind the about the niggas that got the Rolex watches for $50. I'm talking about them

behind the back African niggas. Yes. You know them behind. They hold their hands behind their hands. Yeah, they walk real, real slow. Them three wives

motherfuckers right there. Not the motherfuckers say, I have a DVD for you. Nah, them niggas stop playing, nigga. You get one wife. You lucky, baby. You lucky you got

a baby mama, nigga. You try to get three wives, you can't even afford a baby mama. That'd be funny. That's don't, nigga. Stop playing, nigga. You got one wife. You lucky, baby. You lucky you got a baby mama, nigga. You trying to get three wives? You can't even afford a baby mama. That'd be funny. That's how you judge it. Old broke-ass nigga trying to have three wives. He ain't got enough money. He got enough money for three baby mamas, not no three wives. We expensive. Ain't we, y'all? That's right, girls.

Sister wives. The great part about having, like, that sister-wife element of Africa is, like, you have people to help you with your kids, too. You know? It's like a team. But those people, then, that idea of marriage is not necessarily for love. That idea of marriage is for reproducing,

keeping your name going. Like, that's the business. That's the business of marriage. Yeah. It's these motherfucking broke-ass marriages. So, what do you think of Nick Cannon, then? What? And all his babies,

and, like, he's doing exactly what you said men want to do. Yeah. They want to spread their seed. Man, that nigga, I'm going to tell you what Nick Cannon do. He, like, I'm going to tell you

just the real shit I'm going to say. You get to a point, like, who going to get this money? You get to that point, you get to that point, like, oh, man, I ain't really fucking with this bitch. She going to get to that point, you get to that point like, oh man, I ain't really fucking with this bitch, she gonna get it.

So you, like, I know this sounds crazy, but Nick Cannon is investing in his future. Okay. Nick's Cannon.

You get it? Nick's Cannon. Yeah. That's just, yo. You know you got some money when you got to get new babies to slide into generational wealth. DJ Eminem niggas got Nick like this. Oh, man, boy, skate, skate, skate.

Every time he get a new deal, it's a baby be attached to it. You get a deal. You get a deal. Someone in the comments said, oh, this bitch about to be pregnant by Nick Cannon in three months. But guess what? get a new deal. It's a baby be attached to it. You get a deal. You get a deal. Someone in the comments said, oh, this bitch about to be pregnant by a Nick Cannon in three months. But guess what?

The thing with this part about the Nick Cannon, Nick's cannon, is that... It's shooting. It's shooting. It's hitting. And none of the women

are complaining. And he talks about it. He said they all know, you know, got their role. You know what? And they like, man, I can't believe this bitch.

I mean, I'm not disrespecting nobody that worked nine to five. I'm not respecting that. I was a nine to five nigga. Everybody used to get off early. I had a nine to five job, only worked four hours a day. Right?

But, it's one thing to get pregnant by the nigga working the deli at Ralph's than a Nick Cannon. Yeah. And also you got to consider, too, maybe it's times in these women's lives where I don't know the history of these women, if they already have kids or whatever. But some of them, some women out here just want to have a child. And want to be a child. And they want to be a mom. So I don't know, maybe Nick might be in the business of babies.

Look, I am 42 and coming up on the end of my term. So what you want to get Nick pregnant by Nick Cannon? No, I don't actually. I bet there's a lot of people that want to get pregnant by Nick Cannon. He's handsome. I bet there's some dudes there people that want to get pregnant by Nick Cannon. Yeah. He's handsome. I bet there's some dudes that... Samson's raising his hand. Yo, I know there's some motherfuckers

that want to get... Some chicks that want to get pregnant by Nick Cannon and some dudes that want to try. Am I pregnant yet? That nigga is in Atlanta, son. Like, this, you fucked up. You go to Atlanta,

you be having niggas like, I had your baby, Nick. Y'all. Girl, let me borrow an ovary right quick. I'm about to get pregnant by Nick Cannon. That's who Lil Nas and his baby was by,

Nick Cannon. Lil Nas was pregnant by Nick Cannon. Next video coming soon. All right, sorry, guys. Another joke that was inappropriate in certain communities

is going to be upset with me, but fuck it. This is the Donnie Rollins show. This is my platform where you get to hear what I have to say and how I feel. All right?

No restrictions here. I'll say what I want. But I think Nick is in the baby, I mean, he's in the baby making business. Absolutely. And he ain't mad. He happy. He's very happy with it. He's happy to show the new face, say the new name.

Him and DJ Envy. Does Envy have a few? I don't know. DJ Envy has six kids. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. And I mean, I ain't trying to. That's my nigga.

But it's hard for a six-kid nigga not to have another joint that he said, how much you need? I'm joking. A month? I'm joking. I don't think that a... DJ Envy. But, you know, if you popping it like that,

you got a couple on the low. He's light-skinned, though, so he can get them off. My father had fucking nine kids. Nine kids. Seven different baby mothers, I think. Yeah. Like, yep.

Nine, they didn't get a lot of kids. Like, every year, we was getting to meet the new kid. So your mom is like the special one that had two from him. Yeah. I know, yeah. She got two choice. My father was shit.

I got two brothers and sisters. I got two sisters that are the same age as me. Right? And my father used to be like, just, yep, that was a good year. Like a year of wines. Like, remember that harvest? to be like, just, yep, that was a good year. Like a year of wines. Like, remember that harvest? He was like, yep, that was my good year. But I will say with that said,

he treated everybody good. As much as he could. He could. And we all knew each other. And that's important, too. Yeah, that's very important. Yeah. And I've talked about it before.

That's very important, especially with my back-in-the-day nasty ass. Yeah, I know an African guy that has three wives. They live on different continents, and every year they get together and they go on a family trip. So all the kids get to know each other.

The women, I just see them in the pictures holding their drinks and having a good time together. Having a good time. They're like, fuck that. Yeah, they're rich as fuck, these girls. Yeah, yeah, but there ain't no broke niggas doing like that. Yeah, these women are rich time together. Having a good time. They're like, fuck that. Yeah, they're rich as fuck, these girls. Yeah, yeah,

but there ain't no broke niggas doing like that. Yeah, these women are rich as fuck. They don't care. They don't have a care in the world. That's how white women, the white women, I'm going to tell you something.

White women, they have a span of marriage time. This is what white women normally do. And this is what the rich white dudes do. They're going to get a supermodel bitch, right? Fresh off the boat, Joan.

One of them, Joan, be like this, how do you say? Like a Russian? Yeah, something. It's your custom to, she don't got no American friends yet. They ain't tore down. And they have them kids. Like, it's white women's, white women's path.

They have the kids. They do soccer. They do all that shit. Husband is out on business trips doing God knows what. That's what white, white women, like, white women straight up be like this.

I don't even ask questions. They're out there, and they always do this women straight up be like this. I don't even ask questions. They're out there and they always do this, have this conversation over wine. So, this is how, this is how,

this is how, this is how girl trips are planned. Girls trips are planned after school, drinking wine and they're talking about their husbands.

So Tom's on another business trip out there doing God knows what. I'm thinking that we should get away. Yes. So Tom's on another business trip out there doing God knows what. I'm thinking that we should get away. Yeah, so he's over here doing God's know what. But he's doing God, she know what God know.

She know God knows what. You know, bitch, you know exactly what he doing. He's out there, and so I'm servicing the Mercedes today. I have an appointment to get my nails done. I have a massage. So, girls, what do you say we go on a girl's trip?

That's how girl trips are born. This is after she snorted her Adderall. Her child's, her kid's Adderall. This is what they do. They do that, and then, like, because he's out there doing God knows what. Like, only God knows. And then the kids become teenagers, and they can see it's about to start popping off.

This is what happens. When the kids get about 13 or 14, they, this is going to be hard for a lot of people. They find a personal trainer. And let me tell you, to a personal trainer, usually his name is something like Dante. Terrell. Jamal.

Irk. Daryl. You know? I don't want to break it to y'all, but this is what happened. They started a personal trainer, right? And you start seeing some results. And then you ask yourself, who the fuck is he doing all that for?

You know? Because you have lost touch of what makes her beautiful and everything. Then, one day, it's going to pop off. Always does. It's going to pop off. The pool boys get so much pussy. Pool boys. Pizza niggas. Personal trainer.

A personal trainer. What? A personal trainer took my joints. Cabana boys. A personal trainer took one of my joints down. Yo, a personal trainer took one of my joints down. The bitch warned me, though. What'd she say?

Don't start acting right. She said, you don't want to go to the gym with me? She said, you don't want to go to the gym? You sure you don't want to go to the gym with me? She's saying, you don't want to go to the gym? You sure you don't want to go to the gym? I said, fuck that gym. Okay.

I asked you. I asked you to come. Literally, you don't want to go to the gym? You don't want to go to the gym with me? She felt it coming. She knew it was coming. You could be,

you could have one of them fine 50 bodies. You don't want to go to the gym with me? It happens. Then what happens is, and then usually the white chicks, usually once they hit that 20-year mark where the kids are, the last one is going to college. They like black dudes. They like them the whole time

always always them cougar bitches yo if you white you don't have a you don't stay in the chairs black dudes

they are be seeing it from here on out they are off they are you see a nigga they didn't have no money all of a sudden got different chains and shit.

He caught one of them cougars. He caught a cougar. And they go hard. So I'm going to have, they start talking with their hands. So I'm going to have Merrill call you. We can set it up, and then everything's okay. They use their hand when they start doing that. So is everything okay?

All right. And then the thing about it is that they usually don't have no emotions with it. It's the Adderall and all the drugs. Yeah, they make you feel so uncomfortable. You try to hug, they'll be like, so Merle, can you bring the car around? We're leaving, Dante. We'll talk to you later.

That's it. It can never be. There's no way it could be a perfect relationship. Never. I think the perfect relationship are those that are willing to communicate and be open with each other. That's the perfect relationship. Don't nobody want to do that shit.

Are you trying to say be honest? Fuckers, you talking about old school and shit. Old ass, thought having ass. Say it again. Do what? Be open and honest? Yes. I think that's the perfect relationship.

If you can communicate and you guys can be friends, that is the perfect relationship. I want a best friend that I can fucking travel with. That's all I want. There you go. But that takes honesty. Do you need, if there's somebody in your life that provides that for you, do you need a title? Do you need to be like, that's my man?

Or do you just need to have that experience of feeling good and that's how the person makes you feel? Are we back to this whole title thing like the last show? No, but the thing is, no, you didn't get this title. You're going to work with this, okay? No, there's a thing with titles. No, no, no, no. Okay, on communication, when I ask you a question... I can't answer that? No, there's a thing with titles. No, no, no, no. Okay. On communication,

when I ask you a question... I can't answer that? No, you can answer, but you can't give me a question. Yes. Do you go through therapy? I don't therapy. I have done therapy, yes. Is that one of the things that they say?

No. Actually, no. I've never had that because I answer the questions. That's okay. Maybe what I'm trying to say just answers the motherfucking question. Well, I just want to know

exactly how you're phrasing that question, but yes. How the fuck am I phrasing it? Can you just be happy with a motherfucker that makes you happy without saying... Eventually, no. In the beginning, yes, it's fun, it's fine, it's dandy. After that, no. After a certain amount of time, I don't know what that time is. It's all emotionally built

no so you don't believe in someone having a long term partner? I don't believe okay I don't want to switch with saying that I believe that you should get married and all of that I think you can have a long term partner where you both are dedicated to each other

and you do stuff without being married that's paperwork to me. But I think that you guys should have an understanding and communication that you're my life partner. We're going to ride till the wheels fall off. What if you get sick of the bitch though?

Well, see, that's the thing. So if you have not a title, not a wife or, so if you have not a title, not a wife or whatever, if you have that understanding that you guys are going to work together, things are going to get hard,

period. Life is hard. People are going to break, you know, want to break up multiple times, but it's those people that can communicate. I just want to break up

when I go out of the country. Is there any specific country that you want to break up before you go to? I'm just joking. Yo, this ain't going to work. I'm going to Jamaica this weekend. But yo, Monday, bitch.

Hey, boo. I'm back. I'm back. Oh, man. No, I think that like you can, as long as you guys have an understanding that you guys are on the same team. And that's what, yeah, I think that's where I lie. If that answers your question.

Yeah. I don't know what team I'm going to be on. You're on, not the winning team, the winning time. And you're on Chappelle's home team. Oh, I just watched

Earthquake this weekend too. So what? Nobody give a fuck about Earthquake special. It was good. No, I'm just joking. I have one complaint that it was only half an hour.

I wanted more. No, I love, I'm so happy. I have one complaint. It was only half an hour. I wanted more. No, I love it. I'm so happy. Being able to be even selected to be a part of that group, it feels good because I know what it means to Dave to say these are the people that I think are funny. These are people that I think need to get an opportunity. Earthquake definitely being one of those.

And our paths are kind of similar in the sense that we both have made most of our career through stand-up, going to these comedy clubs. And you can get to a point, and I know Earthquake personally has been doing well for himself as a stand-up for a long time. But we

want to say sometimes you want to be accepted on the biggest platform. If you consider these are the best people to do it, I want to play in the same field as those people. So that's why it's special to watch Earthquake. Not only just watch them,

just to destroy it and just see like 30 years of doing something consistently and always getting better that the right people saw it at the right time and gave you opportunity. And when's yours come out? When's yours coming out? Wait, you don't know yet?

Man. It's a superstition. Let me tell you, man. I feel like Kanye West. I feel like Kanye West every time. You remember when Kanye kept on teasing us with the album? The Donda. The Donda.

Then the Donda won. He changed his name. Then the nigga was going to church every Sunday. He kept cooking it up. Not wanting to finish it. Is it finished? What do you want to do? I can understand, like, how can...

Especially at that level. When you're known to create just masterful shit. How stressful it is probably trying to meet people's expectations and do something different and just being able to detach yourself from something. You know what I mean? That's probably the toughest thing, especially when you're dealing with the most creative people, creative minds, and you're one of the most creative people. And then you want to be like, okay, this is it. But then you say this is it and then you go into the studio that night

and you're like, oh, nah, nah, nah, I gotta... That wasn't it. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. And I think that's what is going on with me. Well, I'm not thinking, that's what the fuck I know is going on with me. When will I turn the album in and what the fuck I know is going on with me. When will I turn the album in?

And what album would I turn in? That's what the fuck is going on with my motherfucking special. It ain't no Birdman, Lil Wayne shit. Motherfucker, it ain't like this. Yeah, Bird, yo, yo, Dave. Man, fuck that money you gave me, nigga. I want a new contract. Turn that shit up. How long I been knowing you? It ain't like holding you hostage. Yo, Dave, man, fuck that money you gave me, nigga. I want a new contract. Turn that shit up.

How long I been knowing you? It ain't like Puffy. Let the locks go. Free the locks. Free the ash. I'll just say that... I'll just say to be determined. But here's the thing.

Because I did expect it to be... For it to be out by now. And then I was like, it's not out now. Right? And I was saying to myself, oh, man. Right? Like, damn. But then I was like, wait a minute, nigga.

You on fire right now. Killing it. You know? Like, that is a comedian's, not dream, but something that's like big part of their shit especially every comedian dreams for it once or whatever that's how they claim the fame whatever but i'm like wait a minute i say shit is going on without especially even dropping you know i've been feeling it on the streets i just shout shout out to everybody at the Baltimore Comedy Factory outlet. Man, this is an establishment for black comedy.

I'm just going to play it, say it like it is. It be sprinkles of white people there. It's always some of the biggest names in urban comedy. But I went to Baltimore and I, man, I just felt so good. You know, I felt so good going out in front of an audience where I know it was people there that have known me my entire career. One of my friends in particular named Will, right? Will was really, really close to my dad, right? And we became friends years ago. He literally has seen me as a comic that used to play cabarets in D.C.

In D.C., that's the big thing. First rite of passage is doing a cabaret. That's right, this weekend at the Carter Baron. And so and so was like, that's where the showcase. You got no commercials, whatever. He saw me when I was a baby to comedy. At six months. Like, six months, like six months, he came to a cabaret with his fiance.

And people are like, this fiance? Nigga, that was 30 years ago. What the fuck is y'all doing, right? I ain't got nothing to do with that, Will. As long as you're happy, sir. Right? But wherever, he's almost like some type of comedy angel or something. Because he'll just pop up on me.

Like, I'll be, he lives in D.C., I'll be in New York, and he won't like, hey, I'm being tailed, give me a ticket. It'll be like, I'm taking pictures, I look, oh, shit. That's nice. That's Will. And another reason why I say that, because the motherfucker look like me. I'm like this, nigga, are you my brother?

You said it was your dad's friend. Yeah, my dad's friend. But you know what I'm saying? I'm like, and we're not too far off in age. I was like, oh, my dad can't tell me. I can't believe this nigga. Another one? But it's, and like,

it's a real gauge. When he see me perform over like a 30 year span, it's like, when I look at him, you know, somebody could look at you like, oh yeah, man. So what's up? How everybody doing? Or they look at you like, damn, bro.

You still going hard. You still funny as shit. And for you to be able to share those stories, because the come up, I've said it before, it's the most interesting part of this whole journey. All of it. It's the ones you talk about. First thing you say, remember when you did that show down there,

it was 30 people in the audience. Remember that time when they fucking started throwing shit? Remember when we ran out the back door? Motherfuckers didn't want to pay us, and then we had to set it off and shit. And you know that there's people out there that followed you your entire career.

And those are people that can say, man, one thing I can say is that you never stopped your grind. You know, you never stopped. You're similar to that in that same way. And not only that, not just to not stop your grind, but to be able to actually find some happiness while you're struggling. It's the journey. It's the journey.

The fun and the happy and the journey. You'll be able to look back, you get to a certain amount of level of success and you can look back into your past and say, man, I can't believe I ever fucked that bitch.

Always back to fucking. No, I mean, not back to it, but it's interesting. No, every time there's like, so... Wait a minute, how the fuck are you going to say back to it, but it's interesting. No, every time there's like, so. Wait a minute. How the fuck are you going to say back to fucking? How you going?

I keep forgetting the tops and shit. You are so fucked up, man. I can't believe. I can't believe you got another spaghetti string joint on. And here you go. You just don't know how you look. That's what it is. I think I'm.

Well, I don't know. This hair is new. Man, ain't nobody think about that motherfucking hair, man. Fuck that hair, man. You can have a bald head, nigga. I've been bald headed, too. I can't believe that you're sitting up and talking about, I can't, here we go.

Back to fucking again. I can't believe you, Donnell. Are you really going to talk about that again? That's what's wrong with you men. That's what's wrong with you men. That's what's wrong with you men. You're all disgusting. Talk about fucking all the time. No, we're talking about life. And in life, there's fucking

and sometimes you get fucked. That's what life is. And the goal is to not get fucked. Figuratively. Not metaphorically? Wait. Literally. Literally. Literally. Yes. Yeah, it is.

We made an agreement on that. But there's, I know we haven't jumped into, but there's a these natural disasters and these human disasters that happen, health disasters, that it reminds people to definitely enjoy your journey. These people, like, I just think about the Ukrainians that just bought their new house, just got married, just did something, you know, that they got the raise that they always wanted and they worked so hard for. And then the next day, it's done. You really coming to end the show on war?

No, I just want to say everyone out there- You can open with war? Be happy. Yo, I mean, you really, like, you really ended it with war. I mean, it's because don't even know- What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again.

Hey. War. Huh. What is it good for? Absolutely. Say it again. I got to say this. When you say war, it's a comedian, and I don't steal jokes.

It's this line named Uri, Uri, Uri, Uri, whatever, he from Jersey. He said some funny shit the other night. He was like, man, it's a war going on out there. Are y'all following the war? Everybody's like, just like you, like, yeah. And then he says, between Kanye West and Pete Davidson. Y'all, I lost

my complete shit. Y'all, I lost that, because I don't, it's hard to make me laugh, right? But that line was so fucking funny and so clever. I was like, oh my God, we almost forgot about that war. And it feel like Kanye is Russia. Yo, why you keep fucking with goddamn Pete Ukraine? Moving next door. Yeah, somebody ain't trying to hurt you. Somebody ain't trying to hurt you.

That nigga Pete Davis ain't trying to bother nobody. Kanye, man. Goddamn, man. Leave that little boy alone, man. He's just trying to love, live his life. Leave that little boy alone. I do think this. I know it's probably tough when you're on a breakup,

when there's kids involved or whatever. You don't, you really ain't rooting for nobody's happiness. You like, you know what I mean? You're like, I hope that, you know, like you say that shit like, yeah, I want you to be happy, find somebody. Then we find somebody. Oh, I can't believe this nigga fucking that nigga, man. I can't believe that.

All that shit I did with that bitch. I can't believe it. Man, leave the boy alone, man. Then he went and got a lookalike. Huh? He went and got a lookalike. And Kim looked... Yeah.

She looks just like her. Yeah, leave it alone. Yo, that's the thing. Here's the thing. This is what I say. And people always like this. How can... Oh, yeah, but he's...

Pete's not this. And, like, everybody always talk about that, the upgrade. It's got to be an upgrade, whatever. But why do people forget that you can just fall in love with somebody? You can just like somebody on how they make you feel. Maybe you don't want the same shit. Maybe that shit didn't work for you. Maybe you want a motherfucker that don't want to be in front of the cameras. You know what I'm saying? Maybe you don't want the same shit. Maybe that shit didn't work for you. Maybe you want a motherfucker that don't want to be in front of the cameras.

You know what I'm saying? Maybe you want that. Leave the little, I say, man, leave that little motherfucker alone, man. I just feel like, I had a thought a long time ago when this first came out.

I feel like Kim likes broken men. Men on medications. Not to say anything's wrong with mental health or anything. It's the same way some niggas like to save bitches. Yeah. I think she likes broken men and we'll see what happens

with Pete. But Pete wasn't a broken man. He is. He had his issues. We won't get into it, but he had his issues. What kind of issues? Mental health issues.

Black people mental health or white people mental health shit? White people mental health shit. I mean, because I know, man. What? It's different. Black people mental health issues

are different for white people. White people are like this, oh my God, I don't know what I'm going to do with this trust fund. He doesn't have those. Yeah. But his is more, yeah.

We won't get into his mental issues. Yeah, he's that, you know. See, I'm just like, but then it's so easy to say, like, why that nigga got mental issues? He got money and everything. But that shit don't make you happy. Money does not make you happy.

You know what makes you happy? Being around the right team, being around the right people, getting rid of all negative energy and doing something that makes you feel good and not something that makes everybody else feel good. We cheat ourselves out of happiness so much because we forcing ourselves to be happy the traditional way, the way people are supposed to do it. But if you can find your happiness with a UPS nigga, Amazon motherfucker,

or with a stripper bitch, some people can find their happiness wherever you can find your happiness, go find it and be motherfucking happy. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you're happy and you know it,

clap your hands. If you're happy and you know it and you got the strand to show it. Who's up? We up. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. See y'all next week, bitches. A joke. Cut.

A joke can be too soon, but it never can be too soon for a funny observation. Ba-dum. Word. Hut. Hut. Hut. Thank you. Bye.