Donnell - The Donnell Rawlings Show Episode #074

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

Featuring: Niki McElroy @nikigolightly Special thanks to @SamsonCrouppen  @juliuslikeaboss, and @csikmixing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey boys and girls, this is boy Donnie Rollins and first off I want to personally thank you for helping the Donnie Rollins Show grow. In a matter of five weeks, we've gained over 15,000 new subscribers. That's you, you, you, you, you. And the motherfucker that didn't do it, it's not you. I want to take this time to say thank you, but we want to keep going, keep pushing forward. So I encourage you to tell all your friends, all your fans, subscribe to the Donnell Rawlings Show on YouTube and all podcast platforms. All right, now, time for the show. The Donnell Rawlings Show, live in your face.

Fuck that bitch ass nigga, you'll never take my place, nigga! Thank you. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Donnell Rawlings show. Well, no, no, no. You have to do it from like a lower projection if you're going to really be Donnell Rawlings. What up, son? There we go. Donnell Rawlings, son. Let's go, let's no, no. You have to do it from like a lower projection if you're going to really be Donnell Rawlings. What up, son? There we go. Welcome to the Donnell Rawlings, son. Let's go. Let's go.

Show. I love it. I love it. I love having you on here with me today. I know. I'm so happy. Everyone's so used to seeing you walking back and forth in the back, and now they get to see you up close and personal. First of all, first of all first of all I want to say this do I have a mic I don't have a microphone now first of all

I want to say women's month day second minute whatever it was is motherfucking over alright

it's women's the rest of your life your eternity right and I understand that she's a nice woman to look at but I still

have my job as the creator, co-founder, CEO, CFO, and HNIC of the Don Everard Show. So you had your month. I'm going to kindly, kindly ask you

to remove yourself. And I know some people that are listening or watching, well, listening you won't get the effect, but they're watching like, nigga, we good, let her talk. Go ahead, say what you gotta say. Anyways. Happy, happy, I'm glad to have you here for Women's Month.

I know, we're coming off of Women's International Day, which was yesterday. Just so happy. See, he messed it up. We were in a flow. We were in a flow. And here he comes. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. This is what I'm trying to tell you about. This is a man's world. But ain't nothing. It ain't nothing without a woman or a girl.

Can you leave? Like I was saying. Thank you, Toya. For what? Everyone, her name is Toya. This is a man's world. And in what time? But it's nothing.

What time? Nothing. Without a woman or a girl. Or a girl. No, I'm not saying girl, nigga. You ain't gonna kill me. You ain't gonna kill me. Like, oh, he said a girl. Or a girl. No, I'm not saying a girl, nigga. You ain't gonna kill me. You ain't gonna kill me. Like, oh, he said a girl.

That means... No. This is a man's world. This is a man's world. 100% a man's world. But what makes it a man's world is a woman. I agree with that. It would not function without us.

First off... Twist the breath. Is it possible to have a conversation with a black woman without feeling like you're attacking me, without feeling like you better had in a different manner? Can we do that? Can we do that? We've done it many a times.

Don't come at me like that. I'm not coming at you. You better head. No, no, I'm coming at you like that because that's what you said. It's a woman's. And I said that. What I said was she came in here

to try to take my job. That's the fuck I said. And I know some people out there like this. If it was a vote, she would probably take my job. But it's still my motherfucking job. Because this is a man's world. But I think it's fun

because everyone's seen her walk around. There's been comments about her that everyone gets to see her face up close. Comments? What comments? Talking about, oh, Donnell, keep them fine ones walking in the back. That's what they say. That's what they say.

Look at her. I got queens. I got queens. I got queens. I got queens. I got queens. I got queens. I got queens.

I got queens. I got bad queens. You got some bad queens. I don't. I got queens. I got bad queens. You got some bad queens. I don't got the same ring. You got bad bitches. It's not the same ring. It's like Diet Coke versus regular Coke. Just don't have that.

Ah! I got some bad bitches. But I will say this. Someone, a friend of mine, not a friend, god damn it. Whenever somebody says a friend, they didn't mean to say somebody I was fucking. Whenever someone says friend and they don't use a name,

they're fucking them. Let's just get that out the way. To who it may concern. I first thought you were talking about a guy, so... Friend? When you said, I have a friend, I thought it was... No, niggas don't refer to each other as friends.

A man's. I need to be like,'t refer to each other as friends. Mans. I need to be like, yo, oh, I did slip one time. I did slip one time. And I told Play from Kid and Play, right? No, Kid, I'm sorry. Which one of the lights get nigga? That's Kid. Yeah, Kid.

I can be forgetful sometimes. Right? I was somewhere and I said, yo lights get nigger? That's kid. Yeah, kid. I can be forgiven sometimes. Right? I was somewhere and I said, yo, this is my best friend 40. He said, nigger. Did you say best friend 40? And then he kept texting me, did you talk to your BFF?

Your bestie? Best friend 40. Best friend 40 something. With a name like 40, he can't put best friend in front of it. Fuck that. My man's is my BFF. But I don't say it like that.

I can't say it like, yo, that's my best friend 40. But I do understand all that. But I also understand it is true that it's a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothing without a woman and a girl. And this friend that I had years ago,

she was older at the time. I don't know if y'all like this nigga. Is she dead now? Because y'all look at my chair, right? She was older at the time. She was my senior at the time. And she told me, she said, Donnell, your success is going to come from

the women that are around you. He said, the women that are around you are going to make you successful. That's what he said. Right? That's what she said, rather. And I said, all right. Okay, they're going to be

successful, but do I smash? Come on, man. I can't just do this. I can't just ask these questions for just regular people. Right? Just like, yeah. Somebody's going to be like, yeah, they bad bitches.

But can you smash? Right? And I found that in some cases, you smash. Sometimes you pass. Yeah. Pass is not a bad pass. Pass is not a bad thing. Sometimes you just pass.

Because sometimes you smash, you're going to fuck up your whole thing. Yeah, but men will just roll the dice. No, I agree with you. Maybe I lose it all. Maybe I won't. I'm trying. Yes.

I understand what you're saying. You look like, you sitting like in some deuce with some dice like, should I? No, they're going to always roll it. But sometimes you pass on it.

So you're saying about your bad bitches here, you're passed? No, I'm saying the bad bitches here make me better. I agree. You know what I'm saying?

And it's just so happened that the team of bitches that I work with just happened to be bad bitches. Mm-hmm. Got Stephanie back here. For every sense of the word. Every sense of the word.

Not just, and I'm like, I'm not like big on, like your outer being is your personality or what you represent. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Because I know some pretty ugly bitches. They're pretty, but...

Ugly on the inside. Mm-hmm. But everybody that I fuck with is pretty inside and outside. I appreciate y'all. I feel fucking like a bitch right now

because I feel like it's going to be some awes. Thanks, Donna. But, but... Samson. Do you got a dress on? I don't know. Samson, this is about woman appreciation. You're missing out?

Samson just became a woman. And didn't even have a problem with it. Didn't even have a problem with it. Like, he was about to hit me with like, Donnell, my pronoun is... You about to switch your pronoun? What's your pronoun pronoun I'm a she

you a she have you ever been super hero she have you ever been a them no not one night tequila

or like maybe two different peoples come out yeah like no like a them like one of them I haven't been a them a them you're not looking at my lips I said them alright you're acting like I haven't been a them. A them. You're not looking at my lips.

I said them. All right, you're acting like I can't talk. No, I know. I messed up. No, I messed it up. I wasn't talking about you. No, you looked me right in my face like, what is he saying?

I've never been a them. Them, us, or they? Because I'm still like trying to get used to all that grammatically, you know. Yeah, I've always been a him or a son. Or a son. Him or a son. And it's so funny because...

Or the N-word. What? I've been N-word? Yeah. To who? With the A. Yeah, but you don't sound like you said with an A. You sound like you er your nigga.

You sound like you earned yours. What's up, Mai? Yeah, yeah. You sound like, yeah, she was a cheerleader. Earthquake. Shout out to Earthquake. His special was dope. He had a joke about motherfuckers worrying about COVID

but then worrying about their mouth. Yes. Going to the dentist and all that type of shit. But on the last episode, when you see this, what do you see? A genie in the bottle reminds me of I Dream of Genie. Damn! What about you? That's the same thing.

Someone said I look... You look like a genie, bitch. Queen! Queen! Queen! Queen! Queen! I'm being genies. You do look like a genie. But you You do look like a genie. But you don't act like a genie.

I be granting wishes if you're the right person. Nah, I'm just doing the bit. The genie ain't about granting wishes. Being the best genie is about shutting the fuck up. Yeah, I don't do that. Good luck.

You can't be a genie. You get three wishes and one is not me shutting the fuck up. Oh my God. Get back to the bottom. get back to the bottom. Get back to the bottom. That's what I'm talking about.

So you know what? It's safe to say, you're never going to see a black genie. You're never going to see a black genie. There'll never be a black genie because part of the requirement to be a genie, you have to shut the fuck up. So there'll never be, will there be a biracial genie? Where she shut up half the time? Or no, when to shut the fuck up. So there'll never be, will there be a biracial genie? Where she shut up half the time? Or no, when to shut the fuck up.

Or no, when to connect with one side. I dated a chick. She was biracial, right? And it was so funny because she identified with both sides. Most biracial kids, they just too black, too strong. But you're never going to see a biracial kid

that just goes straight with the white shit. Can't do it. But she connected with both sides of it and respected both of them. But there was times when we would get into situations and I used to say her mom was white right I used to be like

you need to be more in touch with your mom's side of the family you did not yes I did I know who you're talking about too

it don't matter no but I was like this and then sometimes I was like this please don't be your dad's side the Jamaican side yeah the Jamaican side

was bad bitch why you saying it right I'm sorry what the fuck is wrong with you man The Jamaican side? Yeah, the Jamaican side. Bitch, why you say that? Oh, sorry. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? What the fuck? We doing a scavenger hunt, nigga? You trying to give clues?

Try snitching ass motherfucker? I was just trying to make sure I knew I was right. No, you wasn't right, nigga. You agree. Who the fuck said Jamaican, nigga? Now niggas is like, yo, what happened to Jamaican bitches? Shut the fuck up, man. Yo, I can't believe you did that.

And you warmed up to it. You kept edging on, like, edging on, like, workout, workout. Ah. Man, that's why I tell y'all, the views of this show. I'm crying. Oh, my God. What is a disclaimer? What is a disclaimer?

It's always, the views of this show, what is it? I don't know. I'm crying. What is the time when they want to sell you something? Is it the beginning or is it the middle somewhere, right? This is where we go to a commercial. The views expressed by this show might

help me. Oh, the views expressed by this show does not... Do you have a microphone? Why y'all niggas keep trying to take my show? What the fuck is going on? Federico, you guilty as shit too. This is a group show today. I kind of like it. the fuck is going on? Federico, you guilty as shit too. Yo.

This is a group show today. I kind of like it. This is not what we planned, guys. This is not what we produced. We said that we're going to be a professional show. Did we not say that? Two weeks ago, we said we have to get some money pouring in.

We have to reach out to sponsors. That's two weeks ago, right? Since then, two weeks later, we are. But we're never going to be able to do it. We're never going to be able to talk about a product if you guys don't maintain some type of professionalism. Can we all agree now that it's time

for commercial. I agree. Yo, I mean, I'm telling you this. I'm of an age where you start concerning yourself with certain things. And certain things could be, and this is real, this is just honest, you concern yourself with how well you would function. You get to a certain age where you say,

I don't need this, I don't need that, I'm my own man, all I need to do is eat some egg yolks. You try to rely on, you try to get, you start doing ginger shots. You start doing wheatgrass shots and everything, but you want to build your confidence. And I can tell you this, I do know people that experiment with certain things.

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So wait a minute. You just got to tell me. You're trying to tell me that you don't have to blow your spot up. You don't have to wear no spot up. You don't have to go, you don't have to wear no mask. That's the best part. You don't have to go, you don't have to go to the pharmacy.

They be like, are you here for your, no, the one's right there. The one's right there. The one's the same Bluetooth. You don't got to do that. Nope, it's all done online. So there's no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations,

and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. So what do you mean? So you got to visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. So what do you mean? So you got to talk to somebody. After you talk to their medical provider. So it's legit. It's legit. And Blue Chews tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package. Man, don't keep saying discreet like I'm going to be waiting for the postman.

I might wait for the postman. But I'm going to be like this. Yo, my man, put them joints in the back. But I can see how we can build your confidence to be ready. Sometimes you think you might be ready mentally, but you might need a little assistance. Yep. So you could benefit from extra confidence when it comes to the time to put it down. Bluetooth can help you.

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with the people we partnered up with. Yes. Doesn't go, doesn't remove or take away from the fact that we were talking about you being an African-American genie and it would never be. It would never happen. You could be anything you want to be, kids. You can't be a genie.

And where's the earthquake? Fuck them kids. Don't tell them kids shit that they could be. That you know goddamn well. When does that stop? I know this sounds crazy. When they don't make them kids shit that they could be, that you know goddamn well. When does that stop? I know this sounds crazy. When they don't make the first team. No, damn, you a fucking, fucking, fucked up person.

Yo, the first team, so, I know your daughter's a gifted athlete, right? So what you're telling me is that you wouldn't fuck with your daughter if she wasn't first team? No, I would definitely fuck with my daughter as my daughter, but I would let her know that maybe she's

not the best. That's when you tell them. What the fuck type of parenting is this? Yo, wait a minute. You look your kid. I just want to understand this. You look your daughter in the face, and you tell her she's not the best. You have that conversation?

Yes. Oh, God. Because you have to. I'm a realist. So if this is something that I... You beat your kids? No, not anymore. Because they can fight back, bitch.

Well, because she's away in New York at college. Your fucking daughter got an athletic scholarship for polo. because they can fight back, bitch. Well, because she's away in New York at college. Your fucking daughter got an athletic scholarship for polo. Yeah, I wouldn't want to beat her now. Yeah, how you think she got so strong? By blocking punches and shit? You said it so politely. No, but I do tell them, like,

because if you have a gifted child at sports and you do put in that work of taking them wherever they need to go. You told me off. You said they put in that work sports and you do put in that work of taking them wherever they need to go. When you threw me off, you said they put in that work. I never. Well, they put in that work. I know, but my work is different. I'm talking about kids in sports. Okay.

And so you're doing the drives and you're doing all of that. And if they're not the best, you have to ask, is this something you really want to do? No. And if they do put all the practice and effort into still trying, I'm talking about the effort that kids will put in. If they're not really trying to be the best,

I'm not going to be taking those two-hour drives to their practices. Fuck, so goddamn it. My son, it's over. It's over. He's going to come hang out with me for a while.

We'll get him prepped up. It's over. Fuck, man. I wanted him to be, I wanted him to be Kobe like a motherfucker. Yo, it is over. I think he's going to be a great skateboarder.

He's going to be a skateboarder. That's the move. But he straight up, just nigga don't want to play basketball so much that he lies about it. He told, he said to his mother, he said, Daddy said that I don't have to do basketball today. I can do my art. This is what do basketball today. I can do my art. This is what he told her. I can do my art.

I love that. It's over. My son, I know that. It's not over. Art will be his new thing or his thing or skateboarding or whatever else he's actually interested in. He don't want jokes,

but he don't want to joke around me. He don't want people, he want to get more laughs than me. Everywhere we go. If I ask him to do something, he would intentionally not do it just so people could laugh at him not listening to me.

You're going to be in trouble when you turn 16, 17. Guess what he said today? I was telling Stephanie, I said, oh man, it's going to be a great weekend. We just going to do men stuff. We're going to be men. And she said, he said, that's what she said. Yo, I was showing you text, nigga.

I was showing you text. Yo, I was showing you text, nigga. I was showing you text. Yo, I said, I said, yo, I said, L-O-L-O-N. That's what you said. That little boy is so smart. Wait, wait, my sister. I found some kites. I was so happy. I found some kites out of nowhere.

And my son was just talking about how he wanted to make a kite. Then I found these kites. I was like, oh, shit. Then I sent the video to his mom of the kite and tell me what what is it what did i say i bought that during the pandemic okay let me reference it okay it was a it's a picture we scroll up it's a picture of two kites oh i see okay so i don't get a lot of weekends with my son because i travel so much so it's's a weekend. I'm thinking, what are we going to do? Just randomly, when we were doing the unpacking for the show today, I saw the kite.

I was like, oh, shit. And then I said, this is it. And he said, wow. One second. And then this happens. He said, wow. He said he wants this raptor kite. And you said. Okay, and the reason why he said the raptor kite,

you have to understand, guys, if you can't see this, it's two kites. It's a Spider-Man kite and it's a fucking dinosaur, raptor, velocirosaurus, whatever it is. That nigga know all the different

names of dinosaurs. All I know is T-Rex. And he said... And you said... Wait! I'm gonna have to set it up. So, a kid who loves dinosaurs

has an opportunity to go fly a kite with his dad. He has two choices. Spider-Man, which his dad was in the movie, said, whoa. He sort of got speechless. And another movie that his father wasn't in, and he chose a motherfucking dinosaur over something I was part of. That's how much my son don't fuck with me.

Okay, let me continue. And then he chose it. And then he chose it. And then, and then, what happened? And then you said, or can I skip down to the bottom? Do the whole fucking thing. Okay, okay, of course. I bought that during the pandemic and I found it today. He was just talking about making a kite.

I'm happy. Stephanie, so dope. I'm happy for y'all. Everybody, why you didn't say her name? You said her name. You said her name. Stephanie, so dope. I'm happy for y'all. Everybody, why you not say her name? You said her name. You said her name. Stephanie, I'm gonna fuck this show. Fuck this.

Y'all can't keep on old draft-stitching ass niggas. Everyone knows who your baby mama is. Yo, why y'all keep on yelling names? Who keep talking about names? Everyone knows who your baby... Tyrone Johnson, who dicked and sucked a high school behind a bleacher. Don't think I got no secrets.

Tyrone Johnson, cup balls, got no secrets. Tyrone Johnson, cup balls, cup all that. Tyrone. Go ahead, boss. And then you said, haven't had a weekend with him in forever. We gonna be men. Ten. Yay! Ha ha ha. Men. LOL. He said,

that's what she said. Choked today. She said, what the? She WTF? I didn't say that. He doesn't even know what that means. Choked today. And she said, what the? She WTF? I didn't say that. He doesn't even know what that means. Did he really say that? Yes.

At the gas station. You'll hear it. I think it's the white boys at school. Yo, it has to be the white boys at school. It has to be the white boys at school. Because it's only two black boys in school. It's three niggas, and I always see them, son. I don't want to judge kids by their hair,

but when I see them coming down the hill, son, I'm like, that's my man sitting there, son. Yo, I'm so sorry. I don't want to be racist. It's fucking true. You judge them by their hair? Yo, no, that's what the real thing is, son. Yo,

I don't want to say it. I'm telling you, this school, it's a great fucking school. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you what got my son into this school. George Floyd. The reason why I say that because the school he goes to, there's

really not a lot of color. And they acknowledge it. They understand it. And I'm not trying to start no, they need more black people. That's just, it is what it is for so many different reasons, right? But doing the George Floyd thing,

that's the George Floyd thing. When everybody was upset about George Floyd and how black people were being treated, some people stepped up and acknowledged it. Some people didn't acknowledge it. But for the most part, people were like, okay, this is what we need. In the whole private school world,

it was all in the news and that they need to do better. And that's all I really saw for a long time. So my son went to pre-K at this school and he got play dates, play meets, whatever. Play dates. Yeah. So somebody's from an old school.

They had a party or something and the principal of the new school was there. And this was right when people was giving money to black shit, everything. Nicks was getting paid. And this was right when people was giving money to black shit, everything. Niggas was getting paid. And Austin happened to be

at the dinner. Right? I don't know how it, but I know it was probably like, did you see that hair? So it must be the day that you picked it? Yeah. Yeah. He's So it must be the day that you picked it. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny because my son,

he's salvy and black, right? And Steph, I'm saying her name because you niggas keep saying it. You said it on multiple shows. I thought it was okay. I only said it at the shows that I was hating. Not on the happy show. When you heard me say her name at a happy show. What have you heard me say her name

at a happy show? You've heard me say it with this bitch! No, I'm joking. It's a joke. Hello, I'm a comedian. That's what she said. I'm just saying

certain people's names you use them in different sentences. You know? It's different sentences. What was I saying? You made me forget. He got, well, you were talking about

you picking out his hair. Yeah, she likes it and he has good hair. Yeah, that little curl. She likes to have it all curly and shit. I'll be like, man, fuck that, man. When me and him rock, I'll be like just,

whack, whack. I'll be pulling, I'll be knocking all them curls out. Whack! Hairdrying and shit. And get him curls out. Wow! Hair drying and shit. And get them like that. He look like a different kid. So at the dinner, did you put the pic with the fists?

Yeah, but he don't know anything about it. He don't know anything about it. I think, you know, now kids, when they see a pic, it represents Questlove. For real. It's like Questlove could probably be the only silhouette that can replace the pic silhouette quest love damn i want this nigga to hurry up and lose his hair man you tired of the pic no i'm tired of him having hair more more hair everywhere we go

everywhere we go it could be white people whatever this nigga got more hair than everybody and got a pick in it. I'm waiting for that day when that motherfucker start wearing a New York fitted or Philly hat. It's gone. Like, sway. I love that nigga. That's my nigga. He be cracking jokes on his... Sway don't crack jokes on me.

Them shitters says don't talk shit about me. Sway in the morning? Sway in the morning is the most, this is what y'all understand. He's a respected journalist, right? But he is

a asshole, son. And I know you know from the Bay Area. He's always been sweet to me. Yeah, you a queen. Of course. Niggas don't be mean to queens.

They be mean to kings. King of queens. Of course he could be nice. How would he be like this? No, but he's a nasty motherfucker. But because he has a news voice, and this is Swear in the Morning, he got one of those,

and when we're live from Florida, he got one of them reporter-type voices, so people respect him, but he's an asshole. He's an asshole. He's an asshole. He treats me like shit. And then he makes it like this. He says stuff like this.

Oh, come on, Donnie. Why you say that? He got mad at me because there's a group of people to follow him. We got to get some people to follow us. He has a group. Everybody has a group, right? Nicki Minaj has the barbs.

Oh, Lord, Nas used to be a barb bitch. Not a bad barb bitch. Motherfucking Cardi has the... What's the Cardi bitches for people? I don't know, Beyonce has the bees. The beehive. The beehive. Yeah.

Yeah. What would yours be? I think it would be like the Rich Bitch Crew or something. Who the fuck starts with three shits, man? The Rich Bitch Crew. The RBC. No, you don't be like the Rich Bitch Crew. And we are the dynamic duo.

No. Ash Mob. Oh, I like that. The Ash Mob. Yep. Ash Mob. You know who would be part of Ash Mob? Mooney Long.

Mooney Long. Uh-huh. Hours and hours. Yes. I did a project with her, and I talked about lotion. She said, anybody that know me know I don't fuck with lotion. And when she said she don't fuck with lotion, I said, I fuck with you for hours and hours. Hours and hours.

I want to know why she doesn't fuck with lotion. But what she explained to me was like, who got time for all of that? Like, if you got shit to do, like, that's how I feel. Like, right now, if you did, like, I've been getting better at moisturizing the visible areas.

I used to be against that. I've become better at focusing on it like that. Areas need concentration. Right? But my shit would be Ashma. I like that. And just go around and just

hit areas that you don't hit. Like, real niggas, we all know, all you do when real niggas lotion, you just lotion your hands. You lotion your hands and your face. You have to lotion everything because it's going to start sagging and getting old and crispy. Like, it's about keeping

your skin luscious and youthful. Oh, so you got, oh, I'm fucked up, dude. Yeah, you keep it moisturized

so you can stay youthful. So you got to moisturize every motherfucking day? Well, at least every time, as long as you're showering. If you're showering and you wipe it all off,

you need to put some more on. But you don't got to, like, but who needs, like, pause the homo. You don't need to hit every area. You don't need to hit your ass.. But you don't gotta, you like, but who need, like, pause no homo. You don't need to hit every area. You don't need to hit your ass.

That's what I'm saying. But if you're already going at it, if you're naked and you're already going at it, you might as well just get everywhere. I don't understand, man. I swear to God, man. I do my ass crack.

I do my legs, my knees, everything. Gotta keep everything youthful. A woman should lotion her ass. But I don't know if it's important for a nigga to lotion their ass. But no one wants to see no

ash in the crack. The top of your crack would be white, like some ash just sprinkled. Man, I think women respect ashy ass niggas. Nah. I'd be like, here, let me lotion you down, boo. No. Uh-uh. I think ashy niggas like that. You don't need lotion. Be like, why you don't put no lotion on your ass, yeah?

I'm gonna work up a sweat, bitch. What about that? My moisturizer is sweat. Now you know what? That ends up... What the fuck is y'all talking about? That has salt in it. It's gonna drive...

It's gonna drive Bert. Stop playing games with us. Mm-hmm. I was told that I was supposed to ask you 10 questions. Who told you that? A snitch? One of these motherfuckers?

Who told you? It's a whole snitch gallery over there. Who the fuck told you? Who the fuck told you? Can I yell out names? I know y'all niggas be yelling out names. Snitch ass gallery over there. Who told you?

You know their name, middle name, and social security number. What questions they... So what they said... So we're going to ask 10 questions and how many minutes do you guys say it's a fucking game show now are we a game show since we're a game show

I'm just telling you this is the first time what do I win yeah yo just hold that thought alright just hold that thought let me find that

so you mean to tell me that you got together with 1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 it's 4 known snitches it's a new one that we don't know

it's a new one if they're over there the likelihood of them becoming a snitch is like 100%. So these snitches over here said that it was 10 questions you had to ask me. Yes. And I'm supposed to answer them truthfully? I have a sense like a game. Do I win something?

Your fans get to win learning more about you. They're just ready to unfollow me now. No, they're going to love these you. This is really unfollowing me now. No, they're going to love these questions. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life is full of twists and turns, stress changes, grief, moments of growth, and moments that we feel like we're just taking a few steps back.

And it's important to show up for yourself through all the struggles that life can bring. BetterHelp online therapy is there for the twists and turns and will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist in less than 48 hours. I don't need a professional. You know who my professional is

when it comes to therapy? My uncle. My uncle's been locked up, right? And he has life experiences. And for the most part, whenever I'm feeling like I'm dealing with struggles in life, I'll talk to my uncle.

And that is why I think that I might need some help from some other people. Well, yeah. So this one is not a crisis line. It's not a self-help. It's a professional therapy done securely online. And the service is available for clients worldwide. So you mean to tell me that you can log on to your account at any time? You can send messages to your therapist? and you can do all that through this?

Yeah, and that's the best part because you can email them, you can text them, you don't actually have to have the conversation. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, so they make it easy, and you're free to change your therapist if needed. So wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. So this is a company, this is, there's a situation that's committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches. So they make it easy and free to change your therapist if needed. So what you're trying to tell me is that you can switch in and out with your therapist. Yeah. If you're, if you're not meshing well with one, they'll go ahead and you can reach out to another one because sometimes it does, it's like a match. It's like dating. But it costs a lot of money too. Actually, actually, this one is more affordable than the traditional online therapy

and the financial aid is also available. Visit betterhelp.com slash ashy. That's better H-E-L-P and join the over 2 million people who have taken charge of the mental health with the help of experienced professionals. In fact, so many people have been using BetterHelp that they've been recruiting additional therapists in all 50 states. And if you have been a subscriber, if you've been listening to the podcast, the Don Airballing Show, if you don't remember that, I don't know what. You get 10% off the first month at BetterHelp.com slash ashy. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com forward slash ashy, A-S-H-Y. And if you're like me, I need BetterHelp. Are you ready?

So, what drugs have you tried? That's not fair. You have to play the game. What drugs have you, have you tried crack? I've never, I am proud to say that I've never tried crack. Have you ever sold it? I am proud to say

that I was a crack dealer for about two weeks. Two weeks? Yep. What happened? Tell me how you got fired. I didn't get fired, I quit.

And the reason why I quit, and I know you cannot be a, you can't be a successful crack dealer if you ask niggas when you gonna give me my money? And they respond

whenever I feel like I had to quit. I was like, if you don't have to respect me, I'm not, I wasn't into like, to be a successful crack dealer, you got to be able to kill somebody.

Well, that leads into another question. Y'all, I'm just saying. Like, I don't know. I mean, not, what I'm just trying to say is that you're in the circle that happens with debts are unsolved that leads to another question i've never heard of a like a like a a nice i mean when it comes to

crack i've never heard of my life he was so friendly and he just gave crack away to everybody you get a crack everybody gets a crack it was open and crack you get everybody. You get a crack. Everybody gets a crack. Everybody gets a crack. I think it was Oprah and the crack. You get a crack. Everybody get a crack. You get a 20. Everybody gets a eight ball. Okay. Next question.

Have you ever... I've been experimenting with things. Oh, yeah. Like what? Like what was the harshest? I want to know the harshest. What kind of question is that? I just say I'm an older guy,

but I've experimented with things that have... I've experimented with things that probably, you know, didn't get a lot of sleep. I'm trying older guy, but I've experimented with things that have... I've experimented with things that probably, you know, didn't get a lot of sleep. I'm trying to think. Speed? Listen, bitch.

Listen, bitch. Listen, bitch. Shut the fuck up. I know you guys did the tease. Who is you guys? Do I represent a whole... Well, you've talked about it. You've talked about it on stage, so I could say it.

The tease. The mushroom tease. That ain't nothing to be nervous about. This is a whole book about a motherfucker that was doing weed and mushrooms. Everybody do mushrooms.

Next question. Okay. So that leads into the next question. Next question. Have you ever shot anybody? Nope. Nope.

Not even the military? By accident? I shot targets. Okay. In the military, I shot targets. But nothing moving. No moving targets.

I got shot. Where? In the thumb. Oh, yeah. Okay. I remember. Talked about that shot. Yeah, I remember. I shot targets. But nothing moving. No moving targets. I got shot. Where? In the thumb. Oh, yeah. Okay. I remember. Talked about that shot. Yeah, I remember.

I just been through my fourth year of physical therapy. Is it working good? Is that... I see a shadow. Is that Jose? No. Who is it?

I don't see a shadow. It's the security. Next question. Where were you when you got the call that Dave wanted you to be on the Chappelle Show? Do you remember the moment that you were asked? The moment was after I had did a personal project

for Neil Brennan, who was an up-and-coming director or wanted to be, he was a writer, wanted to be director. He had a project he wanted to be a part of. And I said, I'll do it. I don't care if there's no money, but if you're in a situation where you can throw me a bone, do it. And that

bone he threw me was being on the Chappelle show. So he was the first, and I didn't even know the name of the show then, but he was the first one to put me in line with it. Of course, with Dave's endorsement, he's just not going to bring a nigga up there, but that was it. So it wasn't like a

big exciting moment. In a work capacity. But other than that, we used to cross each other's paths. Sometimes at DC Comedy Club, more than likely you would catch us crossing each other's paths in the village at the town we used to have a night on Sunday.

And then the cellar, we was working the same circuit. He was a young boy. I was older. Next question. Question for you. Is it easier for you to fall in love

with a black man or a white man? This game is not for me, it's for you. The next question is... You can't respond like that. You can't respond like that. You gotta call the next question. Yo, can we get some cards or something?

Yo, yo, when the fuck was this game about me? Yo, we came with this game. You backed here. You said, hey, this is going to be fun. It's me versus you versus the snitches. And now you're going to say, this game is for me. That is the reason why you can never now you're going to say, this game is for me. That is the reason why you can never be a genie.

Okay. Why you can't answer my question? To answer your question, it's whoever's the nicest. There's great men and horrible men in both races. Next question.

Next question. Who is your comedy inspiration? Like, who did you look up to? Who is your... Me. Next question. When you first started. I never looked up to anybody.

I admired people. I never looked up to anybody. Not Red people. I never looked up to anybody. Not Redd Foxx? When you say, it's where certain ways describe your respect for the game. Okay. When you say look up,

it's like this, like, oh my God, I never- Who did you admire? I admired Redd Foxx. I admired Richard Pryor. I'm over here. Most of my folks

are going to remind him. I admired Martin Lawrence. I admired Louis Anderson. And that's a weird choice for me. Not for me, but a lot of people would just not think that I associated with that. But because he was like a wordsmith, and you could tell, like, he didn't move around.

He was a fat nigga. He was a big nigga on stage. He was a big motherfucker on stage. He was a big motherfucker on stage. His face was like filled with energy. It was, he could just take you. He could just make you see the person that he wasn't or just created that. And his cartoon was hilarious too, Life with Louie.

Yeah, like you gotta be, to be able to just stand still for an hour and the only thing you're making people laugh with, not with your physicality, not with your voice so much, not with you projecting a certain way, but just the words. Like he's one of those comics that his set, if you made a transcript of it, it would read funny throughout the whole thing. That's one thing I'm worried about him.

Yep, yep. Your biggest fear? My biggest fear, and it's weird, and I know it wouldn't happen, but the fear of my son may not know how much I love him. And it's crazy because you can have love for a kid. You can have love for a person you got love for a person but you're still like

you want to just show more love like more than what is there like will he ever know like really how much i love him like really what he means in my life you You know, like, he understand, like, yeah, we used to do all this shit, this father shit, but, like, nigga, like, whenever I look at you, it's like, god damn. You know, the one thing that can calm everything, it don't matter. And I think that's kind of what kids do for people. They give you a place of peace.

Mm-hmm. And unconditional love. But I don't give a fuck, man. You can be mad at a motherfucker all the fuck you want. But it's just one look from a kid and you're like. Yep. Okay, I'm going to make it fun now, too. That was fun. That was fun. No, can tell you you're about to cry over there no not to cry but

that's the truth you guys have to watch the youtube do you see his eyes water up no i'm a gangster we shot a nigga when we was in miami yo okay tony montana yep fuck nor Fuck Nori and the drink champs. I said it. You disrespected me, son. I had beef with the breakfast up now. You want to smoke, son? You told me three times I was going to be on your punk-ass show.

I just called it punk-ass show. The reason why I said it, because you let everybody else be on your show. And guess what you fucked with me, Nori? During the pandemic, nigga. You let me... Helicopter. Uh-oh, they're coming for you right now. Yo, you let me be on the show during the pandemic,

you know what I'm saying, when it's all grainy and shit. Now we breathing on people, we got masks on and shit, and you invited me to your show three times. And this is why I'm losing my respect for him. It's because you know what a nigga about to front on you when they call and say, when do you leave Miami?

Right? Right? We already had a date. We already had a date. He's like, when do you leave Miami? Monday, but I'm staying until Tuesday. Okay. And then I called him. I'm airing this nigga out. I called him.

I said, look, man, unfortunately, my Netflix special would not be coming out the date that I thought. I wanted to do your show to promote the Netflix special. That's not going to happen. I do have talking points of other things I've done. But if you was banking on, not banking, but if you're interested to talk about that, then maybe we wait for another day. He was like, man, fuck that. Nigga.

This is what Nori said. Nigga, fuck this. You family. Yo, B, I'm a fan. You're the fan that didn't show up. I'm a fan, B. You know niggas serious when they hit you with this. What's your assistant? What's your email?

That means you're going to get a confirmation. We got mad confirmations, right? Then my assistant, she was like, they were wondering, when are you leaving? And I was like, you know what? Tell them we ain't got to do it. I'm like, we ain't going to go through this shit. They was like, okay.

And then I said, I had like two more days. Okay, so we can do it. The next day, on a Tuesday, no Noreen. He out in L.A. Taking pictures with Jay-Z. Got his champagne.

Big Sean heckling him about drinking too much. Big Sean went on the drink camp and said, this show is called Drink Champs. And Big Sean said, so how often this nigga was doing drunk math. He said, how often y'all do this show?

So you're not worried about, I mean, like, you do this. Nigga! I fuck with Big Sean, but get the fuck out of here. It's called Drink Champs, nigga. Go to Vegan Champs for that. He's worried about how much everyone's drinking. Yeah, yeah. Go to Church Champs.

That show is, they made off and get lit. And that's what it is. Sounds like a fun show. It sounds like a fun... Oh, I thought it was going to be fun. He told me, you my mans, all that shit, right? Moved the show from one day and then moved it to the next day and then canceled that next day.

I told him we're busy. I told him we're busy. Mm-hmm. And he always be like, that's my man. See, this is what y'all don't understand about hip hop. These motherfuckers, they say you're mansers until you call them.

I'm calling everybody out. Big boy. Big boy, I want to do your show when you was big, boy. All these big niggas don't fuck with me no more. Fat Joe. I used to see Big Fat Joe at the Knicks game. What up, D, all that. The nigga got a waist trainer or a spank or something on.

He a supermodel now. Something on. You know, he juicing. And he don't know no more. Crack! I'm sick of you big niggas getting small and they don't know us little niggas no more. Seas, flipping New Jersey, you another big nigga that got small and switched the't know us little niggas no more. See, flipping New Jersey,

you another big nigga that got small and switched the whole shit up. I remember niggas used to breathe heavy going up steps. Now you got a fit bit. You got a fit bit, nigga. You only breathe hard no more, skin looking all good and shit?

So it is the only men? I remember when you niggas was big. Yo. I'm just saying. I remember when niggas was big. Now they get this new fucking skinny ass attitude. It's okay. Go ahead. What? I was going to say, do women do the same thing to you when they lose weight?

Yes. Women can't wait to do it. They went from like, baby, what you want to eat to they lose 30 pounds. What happened? Who are you? I'm getting in touch with myself. I could love you on any size, but

don't let your size switch your attitude. Fat Joe, the only one, Monique. Monique didn't change from big to small to medium all the sizes I know Monique at all the sizes and Monique is about to

something's about to happen I started rap about the same time Monique started and I've seen her climb I've literally seen her I started to rap about the same time Monique started. And I've seen her climb. I've literally seen her from pushing two kids in a stroller, whatever that market is in Baltimore. Very low end market. Like, fuck what a nigga that worked at a barbershop, was a barber, whatever.

Like, I remember her from the streets. Like, the real streets. I remember her from the streets, like the real streets. I remember her. She was, and not only that, when I came up, when me and Monique at the time we came up, we came up where comedy was 100%. I know people still think it's the same way,

but at a time where it was male dominant, 100%. You had one or two chicks that would come through and crack, but they had to be, it's the truth. They had to work harder. They had to be funnier. In some cases, they had to fuck niggas. A lot of women got frustrated about doing that.

Like, yeah, I think I want to work with you, but that don't mean we going to fuck. But I want to work, so how we going to fuck? You know, it was that. And I remember she used to have a night. And back in the day, shout out to Guy Torrey for his documentary, Fat Tuesday, because a lot of things I talk about run parallel with what that documentary is about at a time when black comedy was on fire.

Monique came up, and she was a woman out of Baltimore that had this gigantic personality that would light a room up, that was smart enough to say, I'm going to get my own night. This is the business woman this bitch always been. Because that's how we used to make our money. You know, you quit the job, how are you going to get money? You got to get a room. I want a room. I got to get a room. And she had a room that was so successful

that her and her brother and her family decided, like, we're going to think bigger than that. Let's get the whole restaurant. Let's get Delice. We're killing it. It was probably the biggest night they had. And let's turn it into a comedy club. She turned it into a comedy club.

It was a very successful comedy club. And I remember one night in particular, she was so popular, niggas with brave snow. Like, it was a blizzard. She had a show. She said, Donnell, I lived in D.C. She said, Donnell, I got this show on, right? I didn't expect these motherfuckers to show up. She said,

they here, but no comedians want to show up. Would you come? I was like, bitch, I'm there. Whatever car I had, it had one windshield blade, one windshield wiper. The tags, everything was dead on that shit. I drove that shit up there and we did the show together.

Right? And then she went one of the toughest things for a black comic to do is to make the transition from doing the black clubs or the chilling circus to working more mainstream stuff somebody has to knight you and endorse you people you mean like the white clubs the white clubs mainstream white clubs i hate to say well when we think people say mainstream but when we think we think white club it was tough somebody had

already been had referred you had to there was a lot of shit you had to do. But then back then, there was this festival, right? And it's coming back this year, the Montreal Comedy Festival. And it was a festival that broke new talent. It broke, like, Jay Moore. It broke people like Greg Giralardo is not with us anymore, Dave Chappelle, Jim Brooks. It was the place, like, first off, you had to,

this whole audition process, right? It'd be like a night. They got auditions from Montreal. The only niggas that was in got to audition. People come, and you were chosen to go to the festival. This not only just happened in New York. New York was a mecca. It happened everywhere. So you got chosen to be in this group and it had to do with relationships with producers and everything. But you knew if you got to Montreal, it was a festival that could change your life. You know, at that time, when I was just starting a festival, you could go from a person

that had a 10-minute routine to having a quarter of a million dollar deal, a development deal, where you ain't got to do nothing. It's like, we don't want anybody to get them. I don't send me those people. Here go a quarter million dollars. Bam, just chill for a year.

And it wasn't panning out. But Monique, there was a show called The Nasty Show. Robbie Proud. God damn it, I said that name associated with Monique. It's very troubling. And the reason why, because Robbie Proud was one of the guys that saw Urban Talent the first time

and helped you on your way. This showcase was what's nasty show. But then Monique and Robbie Proud had conflict because of the deal today. She won it. She didn't think that it was a fair deal. She was being treated unequal, whatever. And that argument can go either way.

But for me, knowing that they both had that moment where it was like, ah, you're going to be the next big thing because I believe you're going to be the next big thing. You've got to work ethics. I see it here. Everybody see it. You know, she came on a lot of controversy about her relationship with Tyler Perry

and Oprah Winfrey. But one thing I noticed about her, the black community never gave up on her. You know? And I've seen this woman go from that to being on the top of comic winning an Oscar

to like always having to explain yourself. winning an Oscar to like always having to explain yourself. Yeah. I thank you for sharing that story about her because I did have my own thoughts and stuff

about everything that was going on but I appreciate the story because I didn't know that she started her own club and all of that. She was like that's why

that's like she's a real bitch. Like she's a real bitch. Like she's a, she's a real bitch. Like, she's a real bitch. Like, she's a fucking, she's, goes harder than most men I know. You know, staying in what they believe. It's so hard for motherfuckers not to say, you know, not to say what they really feel. Motherfucker, oh, I jump like this.

And to be quite honest, she lost a lot. For whatever reason, it's an argument on both sides. But what I noticed, and I think this is so genius of 50 Cent, and he started, he started talking about it, it's so genius of, he said, you can't cancel out stars. And there's a lot of people that want to see Monique. There's a lot of people that want to see her win. There's more people that want to see her win than lose. You know what I'm saying? I want to see Monique. There's a lot of people that want to see her win. There's more people that want to see her win than lose.

You know what I'm saying? I want to see her win. But I also want to see her be funny in these interviews and fucking roast these niggas out. Fuck that. I understand your point of everything, Monique. Wah, wah, wah. Stop being so serious

all the time. Yeah, yeah. Wah, wah, wah. Just hit a bitch. You funny. You just joned me out. But I just got a feeling. I got this weird feeling. I got this weird feeling because 50 Cent just started up the production of the BMF series. I got this weird feeling

that bitch gonna show up on that motherfucker. And if she does, I got this weird feeling that bitch gonna show up on that motherfucker. And if she does, I'm gonna lose my shit. That'd be dope. Because it's good to see, like, and it's gonna send a message. You can't tell us

who we can or who we will cancel. But I feel like 50's gonna have to pay her the right amount for her to come on there. What? Amount of money. You know what? There's not. I don't believe there's any right amount of money.

I think there's the right amount of moment in the moment. And this is what I'll just say. I understand that. And I doubt very seriously if any. And I'm not. I don't even know this business, that it would be anything insulting, especially knowing how she feels about being treated equally.

I'm pretty sure that it would come off the gate like that. And she's let it be known, if you want to fuck with me, this is what you got to do. If you want to fuck with me, you just got to pay for it. People always want to give your shit away. People always want you to give your shit away. I've been watching the Kanye documentary, and that's one thing I can respect about him

from the beginning. He was like, fuck that, motherfucker. Pay for it. If you don't want it, you don't want it. How thirsty are you? Yeah. Great documentary. It's a great documentary.

It made you think. It made you just see reality. Now that people understand, we can continue. Was that your last question for me? There is more, but we can... I'm all emotional and shit. I know.

I know. I feel like I need therapy, nigga. Yo, I'm telling you. Yo, I was just saying the other day, I never wanted to admit this, right? I never wanted to admit this, right? I never wanted to think it, because I don't fuck with therapy.

But I was like, and if I fuck with therapy, I'm not going to tell anybody. But me, listening and being a part of the show today, it don't matter what I tell, you niggas going to tell. We're all your therapists then. You know what's so funny?

I always thought that therapy for me, I always say this, it's getting on the stage. It's getting on the stage. You talk to a fuck, you smoke a joint. Get the motherfucking pop off. Are you sure that's just not covering up stuff in the moment? Why the fuck are you trying to be my therapist? Yo, who the fuck?

I said I want a professional, nigga. I ain't want my therapist to have titties. That's it. Get my therapist to have titties. Charlotte told me, I've been talking about, no, she can't. But I always thought that I always thought that my friends are my therapist.

Maybe it's time for me to talk to an outside interest. A professional. Not people from the streets. But will it help? It doesn't matter. I tried. I'm so sick of fucking mental health. Not in a bad way.

Listen. I just want... I'm starting to think that everybody is crazy. Like, yo, I'm just, I'm not disrespecting, I know it's important, but I just think, nobody just want to drink water. I do have to wonder why,

I do have to wonder why, people don't believe in that shit, like, Noah's problem is, because that's why his daddy was locked up, but he'd be alright, all of them locked up. I do wonder why everything does need to be clinically diagnosed. Like, I just saw something recently about high-functioning anxiety, which what I read was normal life of people that like to succeed. You're nervous.

You want to do good. Man, I don't think what motherfuckers try to hit you with all the shit that make you. Oh, that's the... Oh, I'm sick of these. That's the true sign of a narcissist. You're in a toxic relationship. No, I'm not in a toxic relationship.

I just don't like you, bitch. I'm not toxic. Niggas just want to like whoever calls the person toxic first. That's the most toxic. I'm not toxic, bitch. I'm a regular nigga that don't like stupid shit. That doesn't make me... Oh, girl. Girl. That's the most toxic. I'm not toxic, bitch. I'm a regular nigga that don't like stupid shit. That doesn't make me... You're toxic.

Oh, girl. Girl. That's the ooh. That's the sign of a toxic. A motherfucker hit me one time with every sign. It's toxic. You're gaslighting. And I feel like nobody even knows what they really mean.

Like, they just throw it. But they just throw it out there. And you're like, that actually wasn't that situation. What it means is, get the fuck out of my face with that stupid shit. This is what it means to me. It means that all the shit that you're saying I am, guess who it is? It's you. I get why you're so versed at it.

I get why you know so much about it. Because it's you. I know why you're like, I'm a professional. Because guess what? It's you. I know why you like, I'm a professional, because guess what? It's you. You. And whoever's watching this podcast, you know what?

Fuck the bullshit. Go to them today. This is going to cost, somebody had a heart to say this. Just go up to them and just go like this. You know what I was saying to myself today? It's you. Yep, it'd be like this.

And this is what you do. Hit them with one of them Atlanta gay joints. It's you! And don't break the eye contact. Yeah, eye contact. Just do that neck like this. Like they say, yo, yo, no, no, no, bitch. It's you!

Tilt your head to the left. Tilt your head to the left. Tilt your head to the left. Y'all know how I say and how I believe. Thank you. This was good. I'm glad. Thank you to Joe. Joe's.

Oh, goddamn. Jose. Them hoes-o's all fucked me up. At THC, we about to do something big to commemorate our relationship. Celebrate it on 420 in Sacramento. It's going to be some dope shit. The way we're going to lay this out, it's going to be fire. So Sacramento, you guys get ready for that.

Also, anybody that's been following this podcast, understand that almost three years ago, we started something. We, meaning Dave Chappelle and the community of Yellow Springs. It was called Summer Camp. I can't guarantee what's going to be with that. But I will say the River Ninja is coming to OHIO Memorial Day weekend. We will have more information about that. Go to DonairRollins.com.

And remember, a joke can be too soon, but it never can be too soon for funny observation. It's you, bitch! Hut, hut, hut! Thank you. Bye.