Donnell - Trollers Gonna Troll!
Episode Date: April 30, 2021The Donnell Rawlings Show Podcast is HERE! A joke could be too soon, but it could never be too soon for a funny observation. Special thanks to @mfdaviddeery, @hollywoodimprov http://www.donnellrawling...s.com Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnXf... --------------------------------------- Check out Donnell's Social Media: https://www.donnellrawlings.com/social Like, Subscribe & Follow Donnell on: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnXf... Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donnellrawlin... Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/donnellrawlings Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/donnellrawlings Website: http://www.donnellrawlings.com Hashtag: #donnellrawlings, #thedonnellrawlingsshow, #2soonwithdonnellrawlings, #toosoon SHOW LESS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I Yo, yo, I'm trying not to interrupt you. The Donnell Rawlings Show, live in your face.
Fuck out, bitch ass nigga, you'll never take my place, nigga. Thank you. We rolling?
Yeah.
We been rolling?
Yeah.
So we've been recording all this shit?
They're all for four minutes.
Oh, shit.
When I clap.
I mean, whenever.
I missed it.
We were talking.
This evening.
I'm so thankful and blessed to have you three belonging to me.
I'm crying for a few minutes, but I'm okay there.
Only tears of joy.
Love you, son.
Who's that?
Your mama?
I don't give a fuck.
Listen, man.
I don't care what is going on in your life,
what mold you in,
a phone call or a text message
from your mother at the right time
will have the most gangster,
most thorough motherfucker saying,
aw.
I'm telling you.
And you get to a point in your life
where you resist aws.
You resist aws.
Because I don't know awes.
I don't know.
Is that a sign?
Do you think that's a sign of weakness for a motherfucker to be like, aw?
I don't.
I don't, you know.
You don't?
No.
You see a puppy, you're like, aw.
Yo, yo, first off, I will say this about you.
That I know.
Here he goes.
Like, if everybody had.
Here he goes.
I'm just telling the truth, sir.
If everybody had a mount of awes that you could use,
right? Like, like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like points.
There's a limit? There's a limit?
No, no, I'm just saying. What I'm saying is
if there were a mount of awes,
right? Like,
Nikki,
you're a mom, so you would use all your
awes probably in a day.
You would use your awes if you got a good deal on some weed.
You would use your awes just, you would use your awes all in like two seconds.
You'll be like, yo, you go to the awemaster like, excuse me.
You would be like Oliver, like we got we got we got oars excuse me
can i have some oars excuse me can i have some more they'd be like you can i get some more oars
they'd be like more
mickey you will use your oars you would um use all your oars cause you're a mom too David
you would have
so many oars left
that you could sell oars
to the people that use
all they oars
no you'll be like yeah listen
I haven't gave a fuck in a while so just take five oars
so I don't have you're saying I have no
no heart no no heart
yes that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying.
He's a trench coat. That's what I'm saying. Hello.
He's a trench coat full of Oz. Is Mike on?
That's, he was like, what you trying to say?
I am saying you have no heart.
You're heartless. And you said
in one of the podcasts, you said,
this is what you said. And if
Raphael or Julius or you
could put the subtitles right, you said
fuck those kids. About what kids though? I don't know. It don't matter what kids. subtitles right there. You said, fuck those kids.
About what kids, though?
I don't know.
It don't matter what kids.
Oh, it matters what kids.
You can't.
So you're saying that there are some kids that you say, fuck those kids.
Yeah.
I ain't going to lie to you.
You're right.
Because I'm not going to say who this is.
But there's a fucking little five-year-old kid running around.
I won't say who he is.
I won't say who he is.
But I can't stand this little motherfucker.
Yo, I would
like, yo, I get you.
I can't stand this little buff.
And I'm like, can a nigga hate a kid?
Yeah.
Yo, it's a lot.
It's easy for you to say that you don't have kids, but for me, I'm like this.
Because kids go through things, right?
But I hate to say it, but when I see
this little buff, I say, in my mind, I
be like, man, I can't stand this little nigga, man.
I can't stand this little nigga, this little snitching ass, go-tail ass.
Oh, he saw a motherfucker smoking a do this.
Nigga, do that.
I think I was that little kid.
No, I'm not saying. Okay, let me reframe that. I'm not saying I can't stand that little kid. No, I'm not saying.
Okay, let me reframe that.
I'm not saying I can't stand this little nigga.
But the nigga make me sick.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm just saying.
I know I'm being a bad adult and shit.
And I'm like this.
I'm like this.
You tell these little bastards, right?
Because this was my aunt and people in my family.
You had one room
right that's the grown folks room right right don't come in here because grown shit happening
right grown shit happening here you know i'm saying i'm not saying it's right but that's
what it was you knew like don't go and other kids told the other kids don't go they tell
the other kid they were like this when you were a kid What did you think was happening In the grown folks room
I thought they were smoking weed
And drinking Hennessy
And playing cards
I knew I was going in there
You knew exactly what was happening
Yup but this
This little motherfucker
And I remember I had this situation
I was literally
40 feet away from him
This little motherfucker
Right
And
We already told him Don't come him, don't come out here.
Don't come out here.
This little motherfucker, come out.
This little motherfucker, he like this.
I was like, man, if you don't get the fuck out of my face before I blow this smoke ring in your face, nigga,
I'm about to be like this.
Get your ass.
And I don't know. I got
a little attitude with him. And I think he know
I don't fuck with him. We don't fuck with each other.
We don't fuck.
I ain't got an R in my body for
this little motherfucker. I don't wish
him bad or anything, but this little
motherfucker is something
the fuck else. So basically, fuck that kid, is what you're saying. Not fuck that kid. It's just that me and the kid this little motherfucker is something the fuck else.
So basically, fuck that kid is what you're saying.
Not fuck that kid.
I just said me and the kid, we don't see eye to eye.
There you go.
That's what I'm saying.
You know it's fucked up when you're having a conversation to say me and the kid don't see eye to eye?
I ain't supposed to be eye to eye, motherfucker.
I'm grown.
Right.
I'm grown.
Respect that. Kids, don't respect shit now.
They don't respect shit now.
I don't even know.
Do people teach?
Is home training, does it still exist?
No.
I don't have kids.
That's in my house.
You don't?
Home training?
Yes.
Nikki, I want to introduce Nikki McElroy.
She's a good friend of mine.
I've been knowing her for years.
Years and years ago.
Since Car Babes.
How many years ago?
20 years ago. We did a ago? Since Car Babes.
20 years ago, we did a movie called Car Babes, right?
And she was very hot.
She still is.
I wasn't a Car Babe.
No, no, listen.
I'm saying she was.
I mean, well, she still is.
I was his girlfriend.
Yeah.
She's really hot now.
She just got on my head.
Aw, thank you.
First of all, nobody even asked you.
Nikki ain't got a mic.
I should have got her a mic. Yo, Nikki ain't got a mic. Ain't nobody asked Nikki. Nikki Mickey ain't got a mic. I should have got her a mic.
Yo, Mickey ain't got a mic.
Ain't nobody asked Mickey.
Mickey, don't got a mic.
Mickey.
Aw.
All right.
Mickey.
Oh, my God.
Mickey don't need no motherfucking mic.
Right?
Yo, Mickey don't need no mic.
Yo, yo, in every one of these videos, you hear this.
Ah-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!
That's Mickey.
I love Mickey. And she don't even know.
We were somewhere a while ago.
I don't know.
It was a restaurant or something, right?
And she looked at me like, why are you looking at me like that?
I'm like, the whole restaurant turned around like this.
Yo, the whole restaurant.
And it's a lot of white people.
Fuck them crackers.
But I'm just saying, right?
And all of a sudden, you just see this.
You hear, how do you see this motherfucker just turned around and I don't want to say stop because you don't want to stop
the laughter you know I'm saying like laughter is a good thing laughter is a good thing you don't
want to stop somebody suppressing my laughter but I just wanted to say what volume are you on right
now what number you know I mean like what number I just want to say, what volume are you on right now? What number? You know what I mean?
Like, what number?
I just want to say, hey, Mickey, you want me to shut the fuck up?
No, just.
Take it to seven.
You know what this is?
Bring it down.
Like, bring it down like two or three notches.
Bring it down two or three notches.
Home training.
Home training is like.
What is your definition?
Oh, oh, I want to tell a story too i gotta tell a story oh lord here we go
all right you're so beautiful thank you beautiful energy you got wonderful energy serious and like
i'm talking about and like today i was like we don't have no celebrity can we because after we
had um urkel oh can i just say really quick this is my second time on your show so you and urkel
are the most person most people on the podcast yes it's a battle now at this point it is a battle no he won't never be
here anymore okay the nigga post me on his Instagram I'm petty as shit the nigga ain't at me
you know niggas take at in serious I'm trying not to be petty right I'm like I'm trying not to be
petty because I'm like hold up nigga I be adding this nigga on everything.
I add him on everything.
I did not see one single at.
I ain't get a hashtag.
I ain't get a thank you.
It was just like, nigga, I gave you waffles and a waffle iron.
You should be happy.
You got to thank you.
What?
You didn't get a hashtag.
You got to thank you.
I didn't get a thank you.
No?
I didn't get a we'll see you on the show.
I know why.
Because he got mad.
Because I kept calling.
I kept.
He got mad.
Because I kept on.
I said white bitches a lot.
And he was like.
You know, he's still Urkly.
You know what I'm saying?
Like.
You know what I mean?
America look at him like Urkly.
Like, y'all don't give a fuck.
That's a verb.
That nigga had the biggest dick in the world.
He could be the best dancer or whatever, but you just feel like it's some suspenders somewhere in his life, son.
You know, it just feel like he could be like, hey, out of nowhere.
But the motherfucker is really a Stefan, for real.
But he didn't at me yo could y'all stop laughing at me please y'all do know
that I'm sensitive as a motherfucker if this is how it starts yeah you're gonna walk out
yo what the fuck see that's the devil nigga I ain't gonna walk out see he still got some Tony
Tony kill Tony in him yeah a little bit yeah, he was born from that Kill Tony fucking vibe.
He was a Kill Tony-er.
He was a conspiracy to commit murder.
I set it all up, actually.
Yeah, he set it up.
I set it all up.
I got Donnell.
I called Tony.
I was like, Tony, get Donnell on there, and let's fucking roast him.
I don't.
You know what?
Let's roast him.
He can't take it.
He's sensitive.
He's going to walk out.
Let's do it. You know what's so funny? You know what? Let's roast him. He can't take it. He's sensitive. He's going to walk out. Let's do it. You know what's so funny?
You know what? The deepest
thing about what you said was like, you have one voice, right?
Yeah. You just used
your troll voice. Oh, yeah.
Yo, you just used the
voice that would motherfuckers comment
they use when they type in.
Yo, this dude is washed up.
Yeah, look, you even got your
shoulders dirty. Look, look, you even got your shoulders dirty.
Look, yo, you got an inner troll, nigga.
This motherfucker ain't shit without Dave Chappelle, man.
This motherfucker, he's riding under, he's living in Dave Chappelle's suitcase.
And I heard that before, and I heard that before, and I heard that before.
That's all they're saying.
And let me tell you you you troll ass motherfucker I heard that before I answer you troll somebody said Donnell you wouldn't be anything without
The Chappelle show and do you know what I say to you motherfuckers that the Chappelle show wouldn't have been anything without me
Oh, and I'm not saying that in no crazy way to win a championship
And I'm not saying it cocky you have to have the right
team players and dave chapelle is an example of not necessarily always having the right team
players before the chapelle show dave had 11 uh pilots that's why they named this company pilot
boy 11 prod 11 uh uh opportunities at sitcoms whatever, and it didn't make it.
It wasn't that it wasn't good.
It wasn't that he didn't believe it.
It was just that the right team wasn't assembled.
And then, go back to the drawing board, you build the right team.
You build the right team with Neil Burns.
You build the right team with Bill Burr.
You build the right team with Brian, I forget his name. He's a writer for SNL. You build the right team with Bill Burr. You build a right team with Brian, I forget his name.
He's a writer for SNL.
You build a right team with Keith Robinson.
You build a right team with Michelle Armour, one of the executive producers.
You build a right team with Rusty Cundiff, who directed.
You build a right team with Bobcat Goldwith.
What's his name?
Bobcat Goldquake.
Goldquake.
You build a right team with that.
You build a right team with Bill Burr.
You build a right team with Rich Foss.
You build a right team with Charlie Murphy. You build a right team with the. You build the right team with Bill Burr. You build the right team with Rich Foss. You build the right team with Charlie Murphy.
You build the right team with the holla, holla, holla Anthony Berry motherfucker.
You build the right team and then you win championships.
No doubt.
You forgot your name.
Huh?
You forgot your name.
I started with my name.
And you build the right team with me.
But I don't understand.
No, no, no.
I want to say this.
I like to.
You know what?
I'll answer the troll.
I like that. Well, don't like it. But when people say that, I'm like this. You don't get you know what, I'll answer the troll. I like that. Don't like
it, but when people say that, I'm like this.
You don't get it. You don't get it.
And the only reason, and I'll put it with
that show in particular.
When we did that show, nobody
got a contract at the end of the year like
Jay Ferrell and Keenan and those
guys. When you say, and the newest
member in cast. Nobody
was ever a cast member member he was only as good
as your last sketch that's the only way you got on the next one nobody had to write for you you
know i'm saying like when jay frelton like certain these people they have to write for him give it a
shot nobody had to write for us you had to do your shit and then you rip so hard that when they
writing again hey guess what we're thinking about?
What about this?
What about this?
What about Donnell?
I wasn't a part of that show in that sense.
But the opportunities I got on that show, I said, every sketch that was on that show,
I worked that sketch as if I'm never going to be in this show again.
I worked it like, I'm not going to work here next week. I worked it like, this is your last one. So what do you want to do?
You want to bang that shit out. You know, so when people always say that, you know, like,
everybody contributed to the success of that show. And another thing that's so fucked up about when
people talk about this shit, they like, this is what they say.
Or riding somebody's coattails.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to apologize.
But it just so happened that one of the closest friends I've had in life just so happened to be one of the greatest comedians to ever do it.
If he wasn't one of the greatest comedians to ever do it, guess what?
He would still be one of my closest friends.
Sorry that I happen to be aligned with greatness.
Would he put you on if you weren't funny?
That's another thing.
He wouldn't, right?
And that's another thing.
Not as much, really.
That's another thing.
No, no, no, no.
You know what?
I take that back.
I take that back. I take that back because I've seen in that circle that some people that are around him, some people would say, no, I'm not blowing nobody.
It's not anybody in particular, but they would say that. Why are they here? Right. hear. Right? Then David type person, like he sees things in people a lot of people don't
see. He sees people when they're at a young point trying to find their voice. They know
that he noticed something is good about them, but it might not be developed now. And sometimes
he gives those people opportunities but see the thing is
when he gives people opportunities it's on a grand stage
it's a big
it's a big deal
sometimes it don't pan out
I've seen people that he really liked
on the Chappelle show
that he really liked them as stand ups
but then making that transition
from being a great stand up comedian
to a great comedic actor it didn't happen you know I'm saying so those people so like
you suck is just like didn't really work out like I wanted to there will be no
awes here and and beat it but it's so people say that riding the coattails
they say if it wasn't here's another one here's another one and i'm addressing
trolls and you're going to help me because you said there's people that can help you with your
energy or find out what your real purpose is um here's another one um who's that is that my phone
somebody's on silent i came prepared um uh uh
what was it was another one?
God damn it.
You ain't did.
This is another one that really is interesting to me.
What has he done since Chappelle's show?
They got a website for that.
No, no, no.
The funny thing, they're like, what have you done since Chappelle's show?
I was like, first off, motherfucker, what did I do before Chappelle's show?
HBO's The Corner.
Three Emmys.
HBO's The Wire. Law and Order. A lot of Emmys for The Corner, three Emmys. HBO's The Wire, Law and Order.
A lot of Emmys for The Wire, too.
Ricky Lake.
Spider-Man.
The crazy thing about it was that when I first started,
people didn't even know I was a stand-up comic.
They thought I was a serious actor.
Because all the work that I was getting, it was all on the dramatic side.
You know?
It wasn't until the Chappelle show
that people saw, you know,
the comedic side of me.
And even though I was getting success
in the acting world,
I was like,
I'm not going to be able to eat off this shit.
You know what I mean?
It's so hard to make it,
what people don't understand is,
it's so hard to,
it's so hard to create it what people don't understand is it's so hard to it's so hard to create
a lifestyle
just by acting
I just heard something
new about you
that you were on
the Ricky Lake show
yeah
I did three episodes
of that show as well
you did
uh huh
and they flew me out
to Chicago
my first time
okay first off
I had a date with
Rude Jude
you did
Rude Jude was from
Chicago
Rude Jude was
one of the guys
Rude Jude was
Rude Jude was Jenny Jones oh I was on of the guys. RuJu was Jenny Jones.
Oh.
I was on Ricky Lake.
Boom.
There we go.
You did Jenny Jones?
Jenny Jones three times.
Yeah, they was all in the same.
I want to say if that's the same genre of television back then, it was just that shock stuff.
But yeah, I did Ricky Lake.
I did Ricky Lake years ago.
I did Ricky Lake before I did Chappelle's show.
And that was the first time people started getting introduced to me as anything. You
know, my girl Rima Darry, she books for Fallon now, shout out to her, because she was the
one that put me on the Ricky Lake Show. But I was just a funny guy that was just like,
my perspective was from the hood, and you know ricky lake show
is so funny because the people her biggest base was um females and gays that's her i was one of
them go ricky yeah yeah oh go ricky ricky was this man ricky people shout out to ricky lake
people don't get ricky lake the props that she deserved right right right because she was a
broadway actress that just found a lick you know i'm saying in on on daytime television and she was a Broadway actress that just found a lick, you know what I'm saying, on daytime television.
And she was everything that television wasn't supposed to be.
She was a big girl, but she just said, nobody was back then.
It was just like, that's before, like right now, big girls are in right now.
You know what I'm saying?
I see bitches eating donuts and cookies and shit all the time.
I'm trying to work.
I even consider being a plus size model. You're trying to get all the time. I'm trying to work. I haven't considered being a plus size model.
I'm trying to work.
But back then, it was just like, you weren't the type.
And everything that they thought she wasn't going to be, she was.
And the reason why, because Ricky Lake energy was so fucking amazing.
She felt it.
Go, Ricky.
I'm talking about the beginning part, when she was like, big Ricky.
But the smaller she got she was like big Ricky. But the
smallest she got, she started to change. She was like, when she was bigger, she was like,
go Ricky, go Ricky. She started losing that weight. She was just like, okay, go Ricky,
let's go. Go Ricky, go Ricky, go Ricky, let's go. And cut. Give me my check. But Ricky Lake
was so dope. She just, it was just something just it was just dope but we had a panel
there was me this was this is how i was on it was i'm glad you what is up um heather b
who is the realest bitch ever yep i was like i was like heather do you ever turn your nigga down
she said nope i'm gonna be a nigga for life, nigga, and you know it.
Real world,
right?
Heather B.
Real World is coming out again.
Heather B.
Boogie Down Productions.
Yes.
Some people are probably going to be like this,
I can't believe he called
a bitch,
but I will say I did
because that's my bitch
and she understand that.
She called me a nigga.
Y'all will never understand this.
This is why we don't have
any sponsors for this episode.
Whenever I knew we ain't got no sponsors,
I'd be like, oh, cracker ass, cracker ass, cracker.
Man, fuck y'all cracker ass crackers.
Old devil ass baloney and dog eating ass.
Wet dog smelling ass.
Fucking keep the black man down, cracker ass.
Motherfuck you fucking cracker.
Today's episode is sponsored by Donnell.
We need to understand the Caucasian better than we normally do.
Switch up with that sponsor.
But I remember, but it was this one guy, Johnny,
it was this gay dude, right?
And y'all know I'm a little, still got a little,
do I got lines on my head?
No, you're good.
Y'all know I'm a little homophobic. A, do I got lines on my head? No, you're good. Y'all know I'm a little homophobic.
I'm not, a lot of people are afraid to say that they maintain some homophobia.
Everybody want to say, the motherfucker, let me tell you something.
A motherfucker that grew up in a homophobic neighborhood, if later they talk about, I'm not homophobic, fuck out of here.
You still got some phobia in you, but it's not the type that was was this is why when people talk about that and people being racist and stuff i'm saying to myself do i really give a fuck if you're
racist do i got time to care if you're racist i care about if you're racist and you're a position
where you can hire a black person and you won't do it i care about you being racist and you're a
situation where it hurts somebody but if that's your personal beliefs, I don't give a fuck about that.
I don't understand why people, what is it doing to you?
The fact that he don't like black people, what is it doing to you?
Does it stop black people from getting jobs?
Then I got a problem with it.
If it's not, think about how you think.
And that's not racist, that's more ignorant than anything.
So we had this panel, and I'm straight Brooklyn.
I'm straight Brooklyn.
I'm not from Brooklyn, D.C., Alexandria, panel, and I'm straight Brooklyn. I'm straight Brooklyn. I'm not from Brooklyn.
D.C., Alexandria, Virginia, but I really embody Brooklyn.
That's the first place I moved and I fell in love with it.
But I'm like, all the people I fucked with when I was in Ricky Lake was like, yo, niggas,
like, yo, word to mother.
40 in them niggas.
Yo, word to mother, son of a, some real shit.
Let's go get at them niggas.
40 want to get at everybody.
I'm like, yo, he just gave you the wrong change, 40.
We don't have to get at this nigga. Yo, want me to get at everybody. I'm like, yo, he just gave you the wrong change, 40. We don't have to get at this nigga.
Yo, want me to get at this nigga?
Yo, can I get French fries with ketchup?
We ought to catch up.
They ain't got no ketchup.
Yo, son, say the word.
You want me to get at this nigga?
Yo, son, come here.
Let me talk to you for a second, Duke.
40 keep a little knife on him, like a little illegal knife.
Like one quarter inch.
Eighth of an inch where it's illegal.
Yo, man, don't play around.
Nigga will poke you, nigga.
That nigga will poke you like motherfucking Lysol and motherfucking on the Chappelle show.
Nigga like to hear juke, juke.
The nigga was locked up.
He's not going to juke you.
He has the biggest heart and the littlest knife.
Yeah, yeah, the biggest heart.
Like a nigga to juke you. Stab the biggest heart and the littlest knife? Yeah. Yeah, the biggest heart and the littlest. Like a nigga to juke you.
Stabbing niggas like this.
White people stab.
They like this.
Can, can, can, can, can, can.
Black people juke.
White people, they look at you in the eyes when they stab you.
You're going to die.
Can, can.
They got a big knife, too.
Yeah, black people do like this.
They juke you like this.
They don't even look at you like this.
Oh, nigga, bitch.
Eat, eat, eat, eat.
No eye contact.
White people be like this. I want you to look deep into my eyes.
And they do like this.
Black people be like this. I ain't see it, nigga.
I don't know who.
Yo, I just
did like this. Nigga ran into it.
That ain't my fault. He stabbed himself.
I didn't see nothing.
So here's the story.
So Johnny Summers,
a gay dude,
it was Heather B
and everybody went on
to do some good stuff.
It was Heather B.
It was Lauren Lake.
Lauren Lake who does
paternity court right now.
You know Lauren Lake?
Lauren Lake.
You know Lauren Lake?
She got the paternity court. Lauren Lake, lauren lake lauren lake you know lauren like she got
the paternity court no like she's been all so many profiles on um on h&l channel uh she's a lawyer
related to ricky huh related to ricky no she was on the panel okay lauren lake people that
watch her show her shows won emmys uh she's had so so many different TV shows with home design and stuff like that.
Lawyer from Detroit. Is it Detroit? Yeah, she's from Detroit. Beautiful person. She
was a singer. She could sing her, Lauren Lake could sing her ass off. In fact, it's a connection
with Gina, who's always on my, Gina Fletcher, who's always on my Instagrams, right?
Don't fuck with Gina.
Fuck with her mother. No, I love Gina.
But her mother's so, she's a
angel. But her sister, Nancy
Fletcher, she was a singer too.
And I think that Lauren Lake
and Nancy Fletcher did a
video with Tupac.
They was really connected with the whole West Coast music sound.
Like, Lauren Lake can really sing.
I always say, I say, every time I talk, I say, I say, I'm every woman.
Like, she's like, she does everything smart.
And she is fist up in the air, Black Lives Matter like a motherfucker.
Beautiful. Me, her, Heather B., and this white dude, right, and this gay dude. And the gay
dude used to always try me. He not knowing I'm Brooklyn all day, every day. So he would
get comfortable, you know what I'm saying? And I was trying to just don't let people know you're homophobic.
Keep it to yourself. Laugh at a couple gay jokes.
You got to prove you're homophobic.
You got to join the team. Not all the way. I ain't going to do
the booty and the butt shit. The dick and the butt.
But everything close to that.
You'll laugh at a joke though., I'm laughing at a gay joke.
I'm like, ha, that was funny.
Ha.
See, told you, not homophobic.
I laughed at that gay-ass dick-sucking joke.
Nobody got mad.
But what happened is, see, you can't laugh at all the jokes
because what the LBGTQ people do.
LBGTQ.
The alphabet, Dave coined it. LBGTQ people do. LBGTQ. The alphabet they've coined it.
LBGTQ.
Plus.
See what they do is
once you start laughing a couple of jokes
they get real comfortable.
Oh man.
They get real comfortable like they do one joke
and they build up to another gay joke
to another gay joke to another gay joke, to another gay joke, to another
gay joke, to the next thing
you know they're trying to Terry Crews
you.
Next thing you know they're trying to grab your dick
and your balls because they
caught you laughing.
Right? They caught you laughing.
So that's what happened to this
dude. I think I laughed at too many of the gay
jokes, right? And then one day
He
Did like this
Like rubbed my head
It was like
Right Donnell
And I was like
This homophobia
I was like
Oh we on TV
Nigga
Oh oh
My niggas is watching
This shit
And I elbowed the nigga
Fuck outta here
Nigga the fuck
What you doing
Nigga chill
I was on TV Being Brooklyn You ain't never supposed To do that right I was likega, the fuck is you doing? Nigga, chill! I was on TV being Brooklyn. You ain't
never supposed to do that, right? I was like,
yo, chill the fuck out, right? He was like,
uh, uh, uh.
He was
automatic. I didn't know the TV
was on. He knew he was acting like shit.
I was like, nigga, stop, nigga!
And he just like,
just like, And he did like this.
He just looked at me like I knew something was going to happen the next day.
He dropped.
Right?
And he was like. Like he had a plan he was like so next day we had a show
nigga stacked the audience yo with his man's is in them it used to be a little mix
I don't know who he got
Who gave him these tickets nigga
Next day
It was dicks with titties
It was wigs
It was everything
And guess what
And guess what
He stacked that joint.
It was 99.5%
LBGTs, right?
And they didn't laugh
at not one of my jokes, son.
Like they had a huddle like,
come here, girls.
Don't laugh at none of his jokes.
And I was ripping
and they was just like,
boo!
Boo! Boo! jokes and I was ripping and they was just like boo boo
boo
I would say something and they'd be like anyway
anyway
boo
and I was like
what happened they was not fucking
with me and it wasn't like the thing
about it was it wasn't like I
was an asshole it was just the way I was raised you know what I'm saying I wasn't like the thing about it was it wasn't like i was an asshole it was just the way
i was raised you know i'm saying i wasn't raised to hurt anybody but i was just like you know i
just raised us a fucking certain way but i know i never i was never out to like hurt somebody or
disrespect somebody in fact um uh we had a gay executive producer right i remember one time he
came up to me because like almost everybody around almost everybody around this was female or gay.
You wouldn't know, like, it wasn't a lot of real motherfuckers,
like, street motherfuckers.
And I remember one time he said,
Donnell, the thing I like about your comedy is that
you can be insulting without being offensive.
And it's a fine line.
You know what I'm saying?
And I really, really, really, really make sure that I don't cross it that way.
I even tell you something.
Let me tell you something about my connection with LBGTQ community.
There you go.
Nailed it.
He knows it.
I did it right?
Yeah.
Add the plus.
LBGT community.
LBGTQ plus.
But the thing is, I feel like I'm going to have to fuck with that community.
No homo.
Pause.
The reason why I say this is because I went to it.
I'm going to tell you this is why.
I feel like there's going to be a connection to me with that community.
One of the reasons why is that you're supposed to just treat people.
And you judge people by their character just point blank, period.
You just treat people.
You shouldn't judge anybody by their sexuality.
I say it in my stand-up all the time.
My brothers are part of that community.
And I went to a fucking beach party about three weeks ago, some time ago.
Mickey invited me to that joint.
It was heavy LBGTQs
It was heavy
Right it was heavy
But
It was so much love
I didn't notice it
I just noticed people having a good time
Their energy
It was just so dope
I didn't notice it so much
They got one of these things
The thing that you do like this
The parachute right Nigga I'm out there my son it so much. They got one of these things. The thing that you do like this. You put the ball in.
The parachute.
The parachute, right?
Nigga, I'm out there.
My son having so much of a good time.
I'm up there doing a parachute like this.
I'm all like this.
Aw.
I didn't know it was the gay colors in the parachute, right?
I'm like, oh, nigga, I'm waving the flag.
Nigga, I didn't even know it.
I didn't look at the colors, son.
I was having so much fun.
Austin running around in a parachute.
That nigga running around in a parachute.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Why do you never invite me?
Niggas helping me put up tents and shit.
Niggas is like, this will help you.
I'm like, come on, guys.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I did not know it was an LBGTQ
niggas
but this the only problem
I'ma tell you I still got a little homophobia right
I'ma tell you what I'ma tell you
I didn't know I'm like oh look at this nigga over here
oh yeah what up what up
but it was this one section
they call it the children
Mickey you know what I'm talking about
Mickey know the children's section
It was the children's section
Didn't give a fuck about Austin
They didn't give a fuck about me
Raising my son to be a man
Them niggas had bikinis on
Them niggas had thongs
With glitters and shit
Dick hammocks and shit
They was
tweeting, the children are out
and we're playing, auntie.
It was like, the children are
out to play. Yes!
And they
was like,
they was like,
stay on your little section over there.
We got this all over here. This is us.
Them niggas over there, Mickey, you know it, Zach. They was over there like We got this all over here. This is us. Them niggas over there.
Mickey, you know it.
Zach Davis over here.
This is us right here.
We are good.
Stay over there.
Stay over there.
Them niggas have veils and sheer shit.
This nigga had a whole see-through swimsuit on.
All ass.
Just meat. through swimsuit on all ass just meat it was to meet sex the meat section over there and i was
like yeah awesome i was like yeah i said yeah awesome go yeah how do you explain i mean you know
it's like it's a tough one i mean you explain it the same way you explain straight sex, right?
You just add a certain point.
Oh, I don't know.
We don't talk about sex, period.
I'm not talking about that.
How do you explain it to your son?
How do you explain it to your son?
Well, the thing is, at that age, the age that Austin is, he doesn't even recognize it.
He just sees these men wearing some.
No, no.
My son is a gangster.
My son recognizes that shit.
I know your son.
My son's saying, why is that dude booty out that's
what Austin said okay so versus naked talk about Brooklyn all day so it could have been my son
questioned that shit so it could have been a woman too like this Austin said daddy why is that man
booty it wasn't about a man though because he would have said if it was a woman, too, like, why is her booty out?
Right.
It's like, it's a thing.
It's not a thing for them yet.
He would have said immediately.
He would have watched it three times.
And then told me in the car.
He would have told me on the way home.
He would have said shit then.
Also been to call like, oh, yeah, daddy, about two hours ago.
Yeah, somebody had their whole ass out.
And I'd be like
Yeah nigga you saw that ass
It would have been a proud daddy moment
Stupid
Man I'm being real now
The first time a father
Think his son like bitches
He like I did my job
But it's bigger than that
I know it's bigger than that
Yeah I know it's bigger than that Yeah
Yeah
I know he gonna be fine
That's just funny though
That there's a difference
Between titties hanging out
And like
Dude's ass is hanging out
Yeah it is
It all depends
I mean if you
Now this is a different thing
It all depends on where you grow up
Like if you grew up in Brazil
And shit
A dude in a banana hammock
Is like a normal swim shit You know what I'm saying But Well Austin's grew up in Brazil and shit a dude in a banana hammock is like a normal swim shit you know what I'm saying
but um
well Austin's growing up in LA so he's gonna be
A-OK we moving we going to the country
I saw that dude ass
I was like yeah let's go to Yellow Springs
yeah
yo I saw that whole ass
I was like yep time to be around some Trumpers
Donnell stop don't do that to my nephew he needs to be I was like, yep, time to be around some Trumpers.
Donnell, stop.
Don't do that to my nephew.
He needs to be more like an update. I was like, nah.
He's buying a truck.
He's buying a truck.
I was like this.
I see some of that dude's whole ass.
I was like, time for us to get a tractor, son.
And a bush hog.
You know what I'm saying, man?
I want to go sit on some goddamn hay.
Not no hay.
We need some fucking hay.
I'm telling y'all what I know, but I was like,
nah, it's true. He gonna be alright.
He gonna be alright.
Oh my God.
Yeah, he gonna be alright, but then again,
and he has me too.
Here's the thing, that's another thing people say.
Okay, what's your definition of being alright?
He will be alright, but what is being all right what I think I just want my son
to understand love correct real love you know Sam tolerant I would rather I would rather I would me I'm telling y'all me still a little bit homophobic I would rather a woman break his
heart than a man break his heart yeah men all suck period it's just I don't know what it is
I want it is but then I know that um a good person a good person is a good person
and the reason why and I know that people's way of thinking,
my dad passed away three years ago.
And not everybody, but I've talked about on platforms that, you know,
my brother is an LBG community, whatever, right?
And I remember, like, when you're younger, you don't know.
You don't identify with that.
I thought my brother was just, had all the bitches.
I looked up to him.
I was like, I don't know how this nigga get all these bitches.
I didn't know you got to be a bitch.
He had them, but in a different way than you.
Yo, listen, I was like this.
This nigga got all the bitches.
I'd be like, nigga, I'm hanging around Charles.
This nigga, all the bitches be around him.
I didn't know until I got older, but it was interesting because I was talking,
I'm probably talking about this on a podcast before,
and my father was talking about my my brother's partner and my father who's a straight
street motherfucker respected my brother's choice and who he wanted to be in love with
you know how tough it is for a nigga that used to be a heroin kingpin been in and out of prison to say your his son's boyfriend is a good
nigga yo huh you're with the er yeah nigga no nigga no good nigga good nigga not nigga no uh
nigga and my father never says that unless it's a good nigga he never said that unless it's a good nigga. He never say that unless it's somebody who has great character.
And I respect that.
And I respect my brother's boyfriend.
I fuck with him.
Because that nigga will ride for me.
We went to go see my brother and we were leaving, right?
And I told my son,
because I'm going back to home training.
I told my son, I to home training i said i told my son i said go say goodbye
give uncle give him a hug right and my brother my brother my son did that right then the next day um
my brother said oh y'all got that nigga happy.
He said, y'all got that nigga happy.
The reason why, he said, can't nobody fuck with you, Donnell.
Because he said that when he heard Austin call him uncle, he's the only child.
He said he never thought he was going to hear anybody say that.
Oh my God.
Right?
And then when he,
and then when my brother said,
can't nobody fuck with you.
He ain't let nobody fuck with you.
I said,
oh,
now I see why dad loves him so much.
Because he a real nigga.
A real nigga is just a real nigga.
I'm sorry. A real one is a a real nigga I'm sorry A real one
Is a fucking real one
No doubt
Yeah
I hate the
Non real ones
But what do you tell
That goes for anybody
But what do you tell Austin
About your brother's
Boyfriend or whatever
When you were talking about
What are you gonna tell him about
I ain't told him yet
They don't kiss around him
That's what I'm saying
He don't
You know what I mean
When the time comes
He's gonna just be like
Oh alright that's cool
I think he'll already know Yeah he'll probably know No I don't think No I'm stretching it I'm saying, you know what I mean? When the time comes, he's going to just be like, oh, all right, that's cool. I think he'll already know.
Yeah, he'll probably know.
No, I don't think, no.
No, I'm stretching that.
I'm stretching that.
I don't think, okay, I don't think I'm homophobic. But if a dude touched him on the head, he might be like that.
No, no, no, but the thoughts that people have of, I don't think I'm homophobic.
But the thoughts, it's so sensitive of an issue right now.
You don't agree with one thing or your thoughts are on the line
with one view then oh why are you so homophobic like i post fucking videos of charlamagne being
a bitch-ass nigga 24 hours a day right and then somebody said you homophobic i said no i just
don't fuck with this faggy ass nigga i can't say it i mean I can't say it
Faggy ain't bad
Faggy is a cute word right
Faggy
It's almost there
You know what I'm just saying
It's just an energy
And I know
What I'm saying is
Man people are so
Motherfucking sensitive right
So sensitive
You say anything
You're so homophobic
So homophobic
Little Nas
I posted a video
Of Little Nas
You're homophobic No I'm not homophobic. Little Nas, I posted a video of Little Nas. You're homophobic.
No, I'm not homophobic. Little Nas
tricked my son.
Little Nas tricked my son. I'm saying
it to the whole world.
My son thought Little Nas was
a cowboy for three fucking
years.
No idea the nigga was a cowgirl.
My son don't know that.
My son went as Lil Nas for Halloween,
son. That
nigga went as Nas as Halloween.
And this year I said, you can't
be Lil Nas this Halloween.
You can't dance with the devil, son.
You can't dance with the devil.
In knee-high boots.
Yo, not for nothing, man.
I swear to you.
Okay, I won't swear to you.
I'm telling you, the biggest flip in the world.
I have this weird suspicion that Lil Nas is not gay.
Just doing it for show?
Oh, look out.
I have this suspicion that he knows that most people are so
stupid that he could win this is what they what i say he knows how to manipulate the media
he they know how to win even when people think they lose they know know how to win. They know that we are fucking,
we just love to like,
uh-uh, we like to start shit.
But now, the way music and shit is now,
it's like, you know,
you can draw a certain interest to a person
and their curiosity will make you rich.
Back in the day, it wasn't like,
I'm not buying this album.
You didn't have nothing like, oh I want to hear it.
The clicks where he get the money, he know everything you do, I'm sure everything you
do is calculated.
I'm pretty sure the publicist say, how you want to do this Lil Nas?
Do you want to do your real nigga voice or you want to be like this?
I thought y'all already knew.
What voice you want to use?
What do you want to do?
You can be a real nigga right now we're only gonna get 20 million streams
but if you want to be a gay
real gay ass nigga
well I tell ya
80 million
two days that shit out 85 million
I really think that it's
I really think that it's
a lot to do with marketing
I definitely wouldn't have watched the video if people weren't talking about it
right and this is how he
tricked you.
I'm going to let y'all talk all y'all want.
Say all y'all want. Y'all just keep
talking about me.
You know what it used to be?
It used to be keep my name out your mouth. Now it's like keep your name
in my mouth.
Good or bad.
That's true. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
He wants you to keep something else in your mouth.
But for the most part, keep my name in your mouth. Keep my nuts in your mouth. That's true. There's no such thing as bad publicity. He wants you to keep something else in your mouth, but for the most part,
keep my name in your mouth,
keep my nuts in your mouth,
keep my penis in your mouth,
hot dog, chili dog,
foot long, 12,
and just put things
in your mouth.
That's what we,
we want to occupy
the space in our mouth.
That's what we're doing here.
You know,
but here's the trick.
They talked about it like, i thought and i understand people
like it was it's a weird flip to go from to to go from like you got really popular because the kids
love you and everything to do something that's just totally opposite of the image that you first
gave us you know i'm saying like can you have a gay superhero can you have a gay pop star can you
have a gay rap artist? You can.
There's so many of them out here now.
They don't label it, but it's going to be that.
And I'm going to tell you, that gay community is strong as shit.
So the flip is, you bring them in.
You bring them in.
You bring them in.
They hate you.
And then when they click, it's a dope-ass song.
When you forget that he's in the thong, you forget all that shit, if you just listen to
that song not knowing the backstory of there's a dude that really went from Old Town Road
to Brokeback Mountain, he just made a left.
The song is dope as shit.
I think he wouldn't have even done that if people weren't coming for him and giving him death threats and stuff.
And it's kind of like, well, fuck it.
Well, he was like, Lil Nas was like, fuck it, right out the gate.
When that motherfucker tweeted that time, he said, the next one of you niggas disrespect me.
I'm going to kiss you.
I was like, this nigga is the gay Tupac.
Ain't nobody.
The whole hood shut the fuck up.
Lil Nas X.
Right.
But it's Lil Nas X.
It's Lil Nas X. But he But it's Lil Yars X. It's Lil Yars X.
But he's all of the motherfuckers.
But the motherfucker, that song is a dope ass song.
But it's so funny, son.
Because I was in the car listening to that shit.
I was grooving off of that shit.
I was like, oh, this is shit.
And I wrote down, it was some real niggas on the corner.
I switched straight to like, I don't like bitches.
I don't like niggas.
I don't like nobody. I don't like niggas, I don't like nobody.
We can get it popping.
What's my name?
Lil Nas X,
and I be the best.
You niggas looking like
you suck the dick the best.
Ride that dick.
Yo, yo, Lil Nas.
Lil Nas X should remake
all the DMX shit.
What's my name?
Little Nas X, and I be the best.
You think y'all suck the dicks?
I'll tell you in maker test.
What these niggas want from a nigga?
Hey, yo, dog.
I meet niggas, discreet niggas, sweet niggas.
Cocoa puff make you want to eat niggas.
Y'all niggas suck all the dickiggas, sweet niggas. Cocoa puff make you want to eat niggas.
Y'all niggas suck on the dick y'all want, but not me.
I fuck with these dicks from a distance.
The minute they start catching feelings, I start stealing these niggas' shit.
Then I'm out like a thief in the night.
You think of life, I think I'm, nigga, what's up tonight?
Yo, son, you know I got a nigga. Yo, son, you know I got a nigga.
Yo, son, you know I got a man.
And just because that did good, I ain't going to jeopardize my life.
So what is it you want from a nigga?
Nigga, I gave you.
You gave me.
It sounds like a good skit. Now you have my door.
Will it confess?
It was the best you ever tested.
Better than the rest.
I'm like, all right Nigga, hold up.
I gave you
what you gave me, son. A nut.
We're going to dress you up in some knee-high heels
and get it popping.
Get this YouTube money, man.
And who was it? It was like,
it was Tony and Michael
and Paul and John.
About three Tonys.
Demetrius.
It was Demetrius and Anthony and Ray Ray and Lord Ray and Erk Erk and Lord Erk and Big Tim and Lord Tim.
It was Big Meech and Rick Ross.
Hey, yo.
What these niggas want from a nigga they say hey bro hey bro ain't no way I
gonna stop my flow these bitches don't know no damn my mix. Where we at on time, man?
Out of 10 minutes or so.
Yo, let me tell you something.
I talk about it a lot.
And me being a father, I think the number one thing a man can do is be a good father.
And be present.
Being a good father and be present being a good person and being a good
father has nothing to do with how much money you have it has nothing to do with the car you drive
none of that today i went out and i had an activity planned with my son.
And the activity was so simple.
It wasn't like Disneyland or anything.
I said, yo, you want to go wash the car with me?
And he said, nope.
I wanted to say, nigga, you're washing the car with me.
I had to come back to it.
He was on his phone like, nigga, I don't fuck with that car wash.
Is it an app for it?
Is there an app for a car wash?
Daddy, look, I got 10 points for washing the phone on the app.
And the reason why I do it,
and I say this because I kind of want to do,
this is what inspires me.
I want to do all the shit with my son
that my father didn't do with me to do all the shit with my son
that my father didn't do with me.
Never washed a car with my father.
I saw other kids wash a car with their father,
and my father wasn't a bad person, just didn't do it.
And I know it's exciting, and I always say,
create these memories for your son.
No, nigga, I need these memories.
I'm gonna be out of here before you.
I'm trying to get all the good memories I can go.
I ain't gonna be in the bed with no memories, nigga. I ain't to be out of here before you. I'm trying to get all the good memories out of you. I ain't going to be in the bed with no memories, nigga.
I ain't going to be like.
Looking for a nigga to come through the door.
Ain't nobody visiting me and shit.
I'm flirting with the nurses and shit.
I'll be in here like this.
Right?
And I was like, wash the car.
He was on the phone.
We went to car wash.
I knew it was going to be fun.
He get to shoot a little thing.
And that little motherfucker's face just lit up.
Like, I'm lighting up.
I'm like, he's like, Daddy, I want to do it.
He was like, Daddy, I want to do it.
The other day, he hit me the other day.
The other day, I worked long long I was tired and shit and I was like didn't I wasn't in a play mood him he
jumping on me Maggie jumping on me and shit I wanted I was like would y'all motherfuckers let
me go to sleep I'm tired and I was like he was like he said daddy I'm having fun and I'm saying
to myself how in the fuck could you be having fun now and I'm trying to myself, how in the fuck could you be having fun now?
And I'm trying to get rid of you and Maggie.
And he said,
I said, how you having fun?
He said,
because I'm spending time with you.
Aw.
Oh, right.
Me too.
Aw.
Aw.
Let me get one of those.
But I was still tired.
I left the house
and went to go tell some jokes.
I was like,
nigga, I'm trying to sleep.
Fuck all that aw shit right now.
But it's like, I think it's important to, like, be present in your kids.
Like, in the simple shit.
And DMX death took a lot of people.
I won't say surprised.
Not too many people were surprised.
They knew he had a lifestyle where it's questionable.
You know, like he was dealing with his demons.
He's sending his music and everything.
But one thing you never heard about DMX
was him being a bad person to anybody.
You never heard that.
You never heard he beat on women.
You heard he tried to beat a police.
Yeah, he what? Beat on one girl? You heard he tried to beat a police?
Yeah, he what?
Beat on one girl?
Yeah, he had to tell one. I thought he was talking about he beat on one chick. I was like, everybody get to beat on
one.
That's just like with your awes.
You get one beat. No, I'm joking.
Edit it. No, don't edit that. That was a fucking joke.
I did one of his music videos. You did?
How was his energy there? It was great.
It was great. It was great.
The point I'm making is he was like, you never heard that.
And you hear all these stories and I'm going to tell you something, this the video out
of all his songs, out of all his shit, out of how many motherfucking times this motherfucking
rip audience he performed.
They say, shout out to DMX.
There is one thing, DMX performs for the world
Got everybody out of all the songs if my favorite song I ever heard him spit
He was at one of the radio stations
Right and he was in like, you know, did he make said that way?
Well, he had that type of energy right and then he was just this what I'm saying
This nigga is the shit when he said
It was dancer and Prancer and Vixx.
Nigga, nigga.
When he said, when he said, when he said, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose.
What?
And if you ever saw it, you wouldn't even say it.
I thought he was going to stop.
He didn't think he did the whole song.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa claimed to say,
Rudolph, would you know so right?
Won't you cut my spade tonight?
What?
And it's one of the hottest Christmas songs ever.
Yo.
But here's another time.
And I've said this in my show.
If you don't remember DMX, for anything, remember him being a good dad.
And we all know he had a lot of motherfucking kids.
A lot of kids.
Right?
But that one video, when that motherfucker went to the amusement park,
and he was on that slingshot.
Yeah. That slingshot. And his daughter was on the slingshot for the first time, I
know that nigga was on it for the first time, too.
He was scared as fuck.
He was scared as shit.
Yo, but he DMX.
He can't show no fear.
What's my name?
Yo, he was on that slingshot.
He said, okay, buckle up, baby.
It's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay. It's going to be OK.
It's going to be OK.
Don't have to be scared.
You don't have to be scared.
That's just it.
He said, ah!
Ah!
He said, ah!
It's OK.
It's OK.
She over there, like, biting her nails and shit.
He was like, it's OK, baby.
It's OK.
Daddy got you.
Daddy got you.
Daddy got you.
Daddy got you.
Daddy got you.
Daddy's OK.
It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. Daddy got you. Daddy got you. Daddy got you. Daddy got you. Daddy got you. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Daddy got you.
Daddy got you.
It's okay.
We almost there, baby.
It's almost there, baby.
That nigga probably shit on himself or anything.
We almost there, baby.
We're almost there.
If you don't remember DMX for anything, remember him as a real nigga, a stand-up guy, a good human being, and a great dad.
Don Airball on the show.
Peace.
Good night.
It's okay.
It's okay. Thank you.