Don't Blame Me! - A Very Sexy Episode

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Meghan and Melisa give advice on: Questioning if you're bisexual Sex Playlist Improving your sexual performance Don't Blame Them: Sermon Facial Melisa's Baby Making Music Playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/baby-making-music/pl.u-d2b005WTDB1MJ3 Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Follow Us! @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Need Advice? dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, Megan. How are you today? I am so good, Melissa. What are we doing here? Are we just listening on our headphones to each other? Are we talking to billions of people who are desperately needing our advice? Both. We're doing both, Megan. Simultaneously. We're multi-faceted, multi-talented, multi-award winning. That is true.

We have been awarded so many things. and it is remarkable to be the first people to win a joint egot it's such an honor to be in in that club and we can't wait to welcome other people to that and it probably won't happen though no i don't i don't think so unless kiki finally hears our cries and then we're going to be the first people to win a triple a little trio you got uh her music video with usher their music video his music video featuring her incredible wonderful amazing i got tagged in it so many times like i'm loving the fact that being a kiki palmer stan has become a part of my personality that people see kiki palmer news and they go i gotta tell them it's like i already knew

which i already fucking knew of course i knew but i love it don't stop yes and i love the fact that kiki said that when she was what was the age that she said 13 14 15 whatever a teenager and she first met him and he was auditioning for something I was like where's this gonna go and then she was like I want to be I wanted to be him and then in the music video she's literally dressed like him dancing like him and I'm like this is perfect it's fantastic so petty like petty in the best way it's like I hate the term because I don't love the the concept of like revenge body but it's one of those things that like you thought you did something to me and boy oh boy am i about to show you that like you're no i you didn't do anything to me i left you i am the artist i am the art

you are a footnote like it was just so like i you'd be mortified if you were him you'd be bitter mortified embarrassed i did see a statement that he made where he was like he's moved on with his life and he's like trying to be an actor or something i was like leave the acting to your brother and they said a source close to the close to him says this and i go so him yes he him this man who again so everyone was reminded because i need to be reminded who does not play for the eagles you were the only person that i told them mox was asking me about him and i was like babe when i tell you that like i fully thought he played for the eagles based on how much his man is a fan like it was like live updates like he was pop grave for the eagles like it was like my god

guy no one an eagles player couldn't breathe without him talking about it and i go i assumed you're in the locker room no no fanfic truly so um yeah this is our podcast this is uh don't blame me where we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice because like we said we are award-winning at this and other things but we're not here to brag yes we are too much so yeah we're going to give you advice if you would like to call in for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and we have also recently opened our dms if you want some advice there oh should i send you the one that someone said i already got it wait she's on it but you

can have it like in case you want to read it megan forgot her computer thank you for sharing i'm sharing it to them i told you i like i'm like i need to go back and read what my text messages to you and bonds like look like because both of you are like what are you saying because i'm doing like i'm doing my car like text melissa and then i'm saying things but i i pause a lot too so i think there's probably like weird punctuation there's no punctuation it's just it's a stream of consciousness there's just words out out of the way like i don't know what does it say also remind me that i will need toward at lunch i was like need what and toward what yeah so if this has taught me anything it's that directors have not been lying when they say

you know work on enunciating you swallow your words a little bit and i'm like fair i've just learned to edit around it or figure it out it was very in the early days you're like what the fuck is this bitch saying not just it wasn't that it was just that you talk so fast and the enunciation that when i would try to cut around things or cut things out i couldn't yeah it's awful and i will say the only perk of long covid is i i talked it slowed down it did slow down because it used to be so fucking fast no and like editing my videos and shit there are times where i mean this is me all the time in conversation regularly on and off camera i will not say a sentence and as if i've said it and then i go like i continue on on the thing that i've said

in my head no exactly i still do that and that's the one where i'm editing i'm currently editing a vlog where i'm like bitch you you're starting on like page nine but you've just done all the others and i can see my i'm watching this edit of me and i'm not saying anything but i'm saying it all in my head and then i keep start talking and i go they couldn't hear you girl open your mouth open your mouth speak up so that's it's my struggle but you know builds character okay watch the patreon because muscle looks gorgeous today so do you you've got um thanks don't talk about my eyelashes i wasn't i'm looking at your hair i mean and that lash is hair but that's what i'm talking about that girl on don't say hill oh i thought you were gonna say is that her name that

whose hair you look like thank you because you know who you also could have said no the girl who's like putin if i was your mom the one from 90210 you know who she is the 90210 remake who made a like a dramatic slam poetry reading if she was putin's mom that she would like have hugged him more yeah i tried to force that out but who is she anna lynn mccord i'm like you did you can put that on we're gonna steal a game not still borrow a game from sibling rivalry is that the name of the podcast yeah bob and monet who is this white woman and who's this black woman and i'm gonna show megan people that are black famous and she's gonna show many white people i think we need to agree on a time frame period yeah you know because like i

don't think it would be fair for me to show you but everyone that you know is of my like i would it's when i've been alive but everything everyone that i know would not be when you were alive well yeah but i'm like i'm not gonna show you moona like what remember when i just brought that or like maggie rogers like because we've already been over this that you know like so i'm gonna i'm gonna it's gonna be a fighting a fighting chance and it's gonna be a patreon exclusive yeah this video they did was so fucking funny i was acutely aware of the um our age difference of me and them watching them because like people under a certain i knew everyone and then white women black women at past point i'm like i sorry i have no idea who any of these people are and

even some of the younger pictures of people i'm like i don't know who i was not around for this in that group i knew most of it white and black i knew most of them but i know that people that you bring up now i'm like i have no clue who that is yeah i have a couple that like would be so that you'd be like who the fuck is that but i wouldn't do that too because it's not you should valid because then i'll just make up backstories for them well and some of them are people who are like less you would like this person if you listen to their music and you're like who is that don't do it needs to be actors people that i that i would normally see their face no that's what i'm saying i think it has to be something that like you've come across your

face their face it can't just be like i've literally never seen this person ever because that's not funny because there's a lot of people who've never seen their face gotta show the faces that you know so patreon exclusive when we film that it'll be hilarious you'll need to have a computer for it because we'll both need to have our computer so we can just show each other oh yeah all right so let's get into the episode so the requirements for the calls keep under three minutes we do ask that you're 18 or over or have your parents permission you can let us know your pronouns if you would like we do ask that you include your ages and the best way to do this is to truly listen to an episode before let's know other people have done their calls but really write

everything down first practice it out loud read it a couple of times time it out make sure it's under three minutes and then when you are ready to record either on the voicemail or in a voice memo just read it straight from that but we ask that you include all of the details and the most like relevant ones you know if they're like oh we it's about a friendship and like we've had we had some like beef history but like we're over that but that was like you know it was a lot give us a little bit of a little something something so we can have more context the situation so we can give you the best possible advice let us know if you're sensitive but again if you give us the the most accurate best information to understand what's going on we can give you the best advice

we want to give you good advice we don't want to give you bad advice if we have to fill in the blanks we can't always fill them in how they actually happened or how they are and then if you're going to write in we ask kind of the same thing we do for our thursday episodes of but am i wrong like around what 300 words not around 300 words or less there you go 300 words or less you heard it from her. You ready? I am ready. I'm buckling in. I'm fastening my seatbelt. Hey, Megan, Melissa. I'm sorry this topic has been covered before, but I saw you guys needed more calls, and I figured, what the hell? Why not? I, 22, she, her, and my partner, 22, he, him, have been together for about a year and a half. We've known each other since we were freshmen in

high school, and were best friends the whole time until we got together, and now we share an department. Anyways, let's get to my predicament. I'm constantly working on myself lately. I'm trying to get to know myself after years and years of trauma and suppressing parts of myself to please others and generally just not being my true self. Part of that has been unpacking my sexuality. I've always been attracted to women. I just didn't realize how much until recently. I still don't know if I would ever even be able to figure out how deep it goes because I'm in a committed relationship, but it still is in my head. When I've watched porn, it's always been lesbian, and that has never changed, even when I was younger. I find that I don't particularly

enjoy watching heterosex at all. I like reading about it, but watching it in porn doesn't do anything for me. I find female-presenting and male-presenting people equally attractive, and I'm also attracted to non-binary people as well, but I'm actually just pretty picky with everyone. I don't often get aroused or turned on, and it affects my relationship because I feel like I'm not being a good partner. But for me, things like I might even be asexual. My partner has a high sex drive, and we have sex at most once a week. So should I even tell my partner that I think I might be bi or just attracted to humans in general? I don't want to leave him, but I think about this a lot, and it feels like a secret. I just don't want him to feel insecure about our

relationship if I tell him I'm attracted to women. I guess I'm wondering if I need to say anything to him at all if I don't plan on leaving him. I want to talk to my friends about it because one is bi and the other is lesbian, but I don't know if that's appropriate. And I'm not sure who else to talk about it to. I've mentioned I find women attractive to my boyfriend, but I don't think he thinks it's odd because I compliment women in public when we're together all the time. So I just don't want him to then feel uncomfortable if I told him about my sexuality and then have it lead to insecurity would love your advice thank you so much and i love the podcast keep doing what you do i i think that like a lot of this and i'm i guess i want to

include you in this because i mean we're both straight but i'm saying in what i'm about to say i am not the person to tell someone who is questioning their sexuality or defining it that you might have like internalized biphobia like that's not my place to kind of deem that but i do think that that is like because when you're saying i'm worried that this is going to like you know make him insecure or make him like jealous that to me is kind of aligning with the whole thing of like the stereotype of oh like when you're bi you just want to have sex with everybody and therefore like any relationship that you're in you're actually not really committed to it you're always like looking for someone else and that kind of thing so him being insecure is

irrelevant to who you are attracted to and if you are attracted to women that that that has nothing to do with your relationship with him so i think that whether he is someone who you feel would feel like that that to me is not okay or if you are projecting those feelings onto him because you feel like oh he'll feel like that because that's again like a a personal struggle of that but i have i have like a lot of friends who have been in who are cis women who've been in relationships with cis men and have realized they're not straight and they are bi or queer whatever terminology that they identify with and whatever whoever partner you're with at the time whatever their sexual orientation is whatever their gender is doesn't erase your identity

either way and i've had friends who've come out to their partners and they're still with those current partners but that doesn't make them any less bi at all and i think that like i don't know you you you clearly want to share this like and you clearly like want to talk about this and like with like your friends and and him and it's a part of your identity that like you're exploring you're not like suppressing you're not ignoring like this is something that you're like you know interested to like learn you like literally said like i'm doing a lot of work on myself and understanding myself more and i think if you are keeping that all internal and you don't share that with anyone else when you want to i think that's an issue of you not being your authentic self i don't think

your authentic self means that like you need to break up with him and then hook up with a woman like you can be bi without having any sexual experience with whatever gender that you haven't had experience with before like it's the experience does not equate to who you are and like your feelings there yeah yeah that was like my big question is do you think by not telling him that you're not being fully true not to him but to yourself and so that's hiding a part of your life and is that the kind of relationship you want where you're hiding a part of you and if you're afraid of how he's going to react is that the type of partner that you want because that means that he doesn't like a part of who you are yeah and i i think that regardless if that's coming from you

or that's coming from him that will change and alter your relationship because it's either you know that he wouldn't be accepting or you're worried that he wouldn't be accepting and regardless that's gonna it's gonna eat away at you kind of the at this in the same in the same way yeah so I think telling him would let you know the kind of partner that you have and if this is somebody that you want to continue to be with and then also you know I just want to throw out like if you are interested in exploring that part of your sexuality like further than watching porn or like just being attractive to women in general or non-binary people in general like are you open to like opening your relationship and being non-monogamous or is this something

where you're like i want to take a break and explore and then maybe come back later down the road or like what what are your because there's many ways to be in a relationship it doesn't have to be it doesn't just have to be like a monogamous heterosexual relationship it could be polyamorous could be open it could be whatever label you want to put on it and then like how do you think your friends will react too who would you tell first i would tell my partner first yeah i think i would probably like i feel like i would maybe in this situation i guess it depends on like only she can tell us like where if this is coming from things that he's previously said because i think my fear would be if it is coming from a fact that like do not think he will be accepting that's

not the kind of person i want to know totally but i wonder if then if you've told your friends before i don't think your friends are going to have a negative response do you know what i mean so like if if you told him before he has a negative response then you have somebody to lean on yeah but i guess it i i don't know i think yeah yeah this is something we have i know you said you we've covered it before but we haven't covered something specifically yeah specifically i would also say that like the thing that kind of i specifically took note of in your call is the you kind of added it towards the end of like you know and i who knows i'm maybe might be asexual and my boyfriend has a very high sex drive and we have sex once a week are you happy with that like

are you okay with having sex that often do you like having sex that often and i think that someone two asexual people don't have to be in a relationship you can be asexual and in a relationship with someone who's not asexual and i don't think it's about like meeting other people's needs i think it's about establishing like what our needs are collaboratively like it's not like a tit-for-tat like you get this and i get that it's like what are we both comfortable with together like as a unit that doesn't mean i'll be comfortable with this in another relationship or whatever it is because i think that like that is you've kept reiterating that like you don't want to break up with him and like you want to be together and that's has absolutely nothing to

with your being attracted to women and non-binary people but I think that like addressing that you might be asexual does reading about that or seeing those things does it make you feel like there are things that people talk about that you're like I wish my relationship was more like this like I would be more comfortable with this because I think that that is definitely something as a conversation to propose because once a week sex can also be it might be a compromise on his end but it might not be the right for you that might still be a little too often for you in that sense so yeah and then also like do you enjoy it like in a way like not necessarily like having an orgasm but like do you enjoy physically being with him like just the closeness of it yeah

necessarily like getting off but do you just enjoy being with him or do you feel like it's a chore that you're doing it to satisfy him yeah because he you feel like he needs it but yeah i think that like i think it's great that you're working on yourself and there's like always going to be so much more to like kind of like learn and understand and i think you don't have to figure it all out before you let other people in i think you have to be cautious about who you let in especially when you're in like a discovery kind of testing out stage of like learning more about yourself when you're not entirely confident and secure in whether you're going to label yourself or not, but even just identifying certain things or things you like or dislike, it can be hard letting in

other voices at that stage because it can sway us either way. So I think that if it was my partner and I found out that they had talked to their friends who were a part of the community that they're specifically dealing with, potentially self-identifying as being a part of said community, and my partner chose to talk to them first before me i wouldn't be hurt or offended like i would be i would be like oh that makes sense i wish that i i would probably ask was there anything i could have done that would have made you feel like there was no doubt in your mind how i would have reacted and like it would have been totally fine because the answer can also could be like no like it's just like society been conditioned to kind of like worry about this and feel that so i i don't think

that there's a way that you go about it that is disrespectful to your relationship because i think this is just about you yeah i agree and then i'm also just curious like you said you've only watched lesbian porn and you enjoy lesbian porn have you only been with your current partner partner have you been with anyone else yeah it might and i'm not i'm not trying to discredit anybody that's asexual but it could be just a him problem not a problem but like it could be just like you don't enjoy having sex with him yeah and there's also like porn is like a tricky one to kind of identify with like if i like if i enjoy this porn and not this porn like what does that mean because oh it sounds silly but like a lot of it is also down to like production and like who's making

what and who they think the audience is and it doesn't really correlate with who the people who are in it or like what their genitalia is like or what their jobs are what like the storyline is it's really about who they think is watching it so i i think that like yeah i know i i can't even watch people kiss on screen i have problems it's like i don't watch porn but like i have lots of friends from you know what identifying in lots of different ways who i'm pretty sure like all everyone was for a long time only watching like lesbian porn because and we've talked we have talked about how like even hetero which you're not part of but even hetero women enjoy watching lesbian porn because you imagine what's being happened to them on you and it doesn't have

that it's catered for women most it's catered for a lot of it's catered for oh oh oh um that's where the fetishizing comes from yeah but catered for you're visually watching women's pleasure yes yeah so it can be a a difference in that there but yeah i i think i think yeah you're in the earlier stages of like the exploration so there might be like other you know porn things like you said like books because so to me that when you brought up like it's maybe it's a boyfriend thing you saying that you can't you get aroused in heterosexual like books like sexy kind of things like that that to me is a is a pov difference like it's a difference between who is making the content and who they think it's for and who are they trying to arouse in it yep so it might

just be seeing that there's other kinds of porn that you are you know more into i think this is like a this is like a great exploration for you and you're 22 and i haven't had personal experience with this like understanding of myself or like realizing who i am but we've talked about it immensely the turning of 25 where it feels like all of like the spots in your brain like everything is like a puzzle like coming together and then when you're 25 it all just like clicks in and it's a it's a wonderful time to like that age span i think of like realizing and the confidence that comes afterwards but yeah i hope your boyfriend is receptive and positive about this and makes you feel like seen and heard and if not that's a him problem yep and he should no

longer be your problem i would love for people that are asexual and queer wherever you fall within that um to write in please do all right we're gonna take a break and we are back all right do you want to stay on sexy time talk Sure. Let's get sexy with it. This is a write-in. Hi, Eminem. So on See You Next Tuesday, y'all were talking about sexy music when mentioning Dressed by Taylor Swift. Never heard of it. I feel you. And I've learned a lot of sex advice from y'all to the point where I no longer have a gag reflex.

Good for you. Anyway, back to sexy music. So I need to update my sex playlist and I trust y'all when it comes to sex. so what are like some good sexy songs to get fucked to i do like rough sex and the make love to me sex so whatever fits the vibe there i will say i don't think i'll be adding taylor on my playlist anytime soon but hope y'all can help if it helps i usually play r&b and spanish music when doing the devil's tango thanks i love that can i i like part of me wants to share like the most embarrassing hilarious thing about me because this is a podcast and it's it's just

it's just you and I here no one else could hear no one else is gonna be around this but it's one of those things that it's like when you trip in public and people you don't have a friend to like laugh at you with this I think that like it is time for me to share this that is so fucking funny to me so big fanfic writer when I'm like younger and stuff and so like I would have like a playlist that I listen to when I'm writing fanfic and so when we're getting to like some of the sexier things i had a song that then like got transferred to like not a sex playlist but like this is probably like i don't even know how old i would have been but it was like a you know masturbating playlist like if i'm gonna listen to something whatever because again porn is not for me this

song is no fucking longer on said playlist also i don't think i have listened to music well a long fucking time but i never even made the correlation that the reason why i put this song on there was because that i used to write fanfic to this song and when i tell you this song you would go if i played you a play and you go what the fuck is this song doing here crash into you by the day matthew spent wasn't that part of a tv show maybe do you think it was in something i think it was in something and then you took it from because fanfic would have been before i'm watching tv what yeah yeah because you didn't have cable yeah it wasn't a movie maybe i don't know but this you saying that is not surprising to me so it has been identified by some other form of media

as a sexy song but in a funny way of like why is this why is this oh like it was used as a plot device as a hee hee ha ha yes but like it was supposed to be sexy so as an audience member you said he he ha ha yes the characters did not say he he ha ha if anyone knows but i literally just thought about that but we can't talk about it anyway but just send it but just send it us to and then we can share a tiki in the dm exactly but i do yeah i will never be adding any taylor swift song to my neither will i playlist that i have entitled baby making music so if you have i'll put this in the uh description so you can see my playlist and if you have something that's not spotify then you can listen to it yeah or you can just look at the songs and then add them to

spotify and so since you like r&b my my mute that what i have on this is mostly mostly r&b from the 90s which is prime baby making music in my opinion because people were saying what they wanted and how they wanted it in a very sexy voice and so i'll put i'll just name a few songs freak me by silk nobody by keith sweat even the names uh nice and slow by usher stroke you up by changing faces knock in the boots by h town really just it's like giving you a tutorial play by play madeline's red light special by tlc i mean there's like you could be making love for days with my playlist a newer song it's still it's still old but prime time by janelle monae every time he comes around by minnie rippleton which honestly i wouldn't be surprised if she

was having sex in the song it's great song a charlie poos it's um uh maya rudolph's mom r.i.p juicy fruit by me to me don't let go by invoke but anyway i'll put the playlist in you can grab and pick what you want but it's an excellent playlist and it's also curated in order and it starts with set the mood slash until the end of time by justin timberlake because it sets the mood for what you're about to get into justin timberlake does not put me in the mood for that oh he does i know he does for i know he does it for you i want to say that i went on my spotify trying to find my i don't have it anymore but i did get a pop-up that said new music for you blippy your nephew has been on your phone too much i also got 21 trucks as one too i don't even i'm

trying to think of like any other songs there was definitely an artist who i do not like anymore who he made music that i was like this is this would be on a playlist but now that drives me the second i hear him open his mouth to sing or to speak i'm like i'm so trying to um but i think that like i mean sZA there's some sZA songs yeah i do i think i have sZA on here somewhere i was a big fan of using music also ironically so birthday sex i thought was always that is not a fuck song though no but i here's the thing for me i'm never dropping the bit so like even if i'm playing on a playlist and we're fucking i need you to know that i'm still funny like i need you to know that like there's some humor thrown in here you know if you want to have an experience that apparently

more than just me and my friend kyle which is how this is the moment we knew we were we were becoming best friends is when i off the cuff as a joke but based in complete honesty and truth mentioned that i um lost my virginity which is a term that i'm not super aligned with but this for the point of the joke this is how i said it was that i lost my virginity to teenage dream by katie perry i knew that already and he was like bitch same and then i found someone else it also happened too so if you want to throw back one of the greatest songs ever that again just pure sex lick by joy joi great great song partition and rocket by beyonce both honestly you i wouldn't suggest that just going on to like this is beyonce because you will get some destiny

child in there which i it will throw off your tempo the rhythm and also you will just be taken back to like they were very young and it's just not sexy but there are albums of hers that like you could just go through chronologically and be fine some people have become or it has been revealed that they were problematic after i made initially made this and now when i see it dried up removed someone put latch by disclosure and sam smith you are i like that song no i like that song too but i'm just saying like you would have to have a music degree to get to the crescendo to reach that bpm with other songs to get to this point there is an older version the original version of that song i had i don't know but there used to be this old app and i forgot what it's

called i think i've talked about it before but it was like microsoft version of like spotify and and it was before all the other subscription services were doing this where you could just pay like a monthly subscription just get whatever song in the world that you wanted and early early sam smith like back in like 2002 yeah back before they had a record contract record deal a lot of their songs that eventually ended up on the album were on here and that's where i first learned about them and there's like slow like they're different from how they yeah how they and they like the first version of latch was like a sex song whoa yeah okay that makes more sense to me i haven't been able to find it since then but it was a different like the songs were different

they're a different vibe to them that's interesting that makes sense though because they've got that they've got that voice right now by dan eddie king you know how much i love fucking loves there's a lot of oh yeah a lot of rihanna i can't get down to rihanna like i like rihanna's music but not for sex what's the song that i i think love on the brain if you're having slow sex but isn't that song about chris brown oh see i'm not i'm not looking into the backstory though that's the problem eliminating the the from it but if a song's about i my favorite songs that rihanna do that are like sexy songs but they're about cheating um if you listen it's like when you're trying to pick a wedding it's like a first dance song and you're like i love

this song it's like so romantic you listen to the words you go not romantic even this is outright talking about cheating uh but it's got a fucking kind of beat unfaithful like it's literally called unfaithful i do like that song yeah maybe for some role play man throw it in there but like i'm looking at other people's sex playlists on spotify and like someone has that until i found you which is like the wedding song that sophia richie got married to i'm pretty sure i guess people have different moods yeah so put harry styles on here with love like i would fuck harry styles i don't want to fuck two harry styles unless i'm fucking harry styles yeah you know i mean so i think that like if you are a spotify bitch i have to say that like one of the best

things about it is like once you make a playlist and start suggesting other songs to you but another good tip is always to you know workshop the playlist on a solo endeavor and see how that goes for you and your journey before you introduce it with um a partner yeah i would love if everyone could maybe i'll make a post but if you don't want to comment it there publicly at least slide into our dms what is like the worst song that someone has played during sex or has like popped up i like that wait is that the one the reddit one yes that what is that called i can't want to call bob it's like c-bat yes yes yes that is the fucking funniest reddit post if anyone has read it it is literally if you just look up i think it's just c-bat reddit post you should find it

c-b-a-t or just say reddit play reddit song sex reddit sex song will probably bring no truly if you google c-bat reddit post the first thing will pop up today i fucked up my 20 year old girlfriend of two years told me the music i 25 male play during sex is weird yeah it is the funniest thing in the world typing in reddit sex song comes right up to perfect amazing uh-huh hilarious i would love to know i know someone who's even the highlight yeah no it's i think the streams of that song like went up yes exponentially but i know someone who the first time they had sex it was to marvin gay let's get it on but they were like it was intentional on their part yeah like has anyone ever put on like a really fucking weird song yes casey and jojo all

my life you're fucking kidding no i'm not but i do i joke that he's like that would be our walkout song oh god i can't listen to it no like ever again but everyone write it share a song and maybe we'll curate a playlist oh my gosh a don't blame me sex playlist and with love if any of you recommend taylor swift that's not happening no you can get freaky with your bad self to dress but like that is not uh we're going to like you can write in but just know it might not make the list yeah we will we have veto power we'll make a good sex playlist and just see where your song toe and see where you ended up that's fucking funny yeah we're doing that i love that but then still please let us know the worst song that someone has ever or like even if it's a song

that you're like ironically would put on a sex play list because you don't know if we're gonna put it on the good or the bad side yeah if the joke is funny put it there all right we've got another write-in and megan is gonna lubricate our ears with the word actually i don't know what it's about so i probably shouldn't say that and megan's gonna read it for us i didn't want to spoil it hello ladies first of all sorry to write here but i keep forgetting to write in the email and this is easier so here goes my entry for don't blame me my woman 25 years old five-year relationship man 25 years old ended two months ago he was my first real boyfriend my first love and my first everything during the last six months of the relationship we were long distance because i

decided to sign up for an international volunteer program to work with refugees in southern italy with the experience there and with the distance i realized that we no longer had anything in common and the relationship came to an end the problem is he was my first and only sexual partner and even if the sex wasn't bad it wasn't good either but i always attribute this factor to lack of experience but now that the program is over and i'm back home i'm trying to get back into dating but i'm ashamed of my lack of experience and i'm afraid that the problem is mine and that it goes back to not being fantastic with a possible future partner so can i have advice on how to broach the topic with a future partner and how to stop being embarrassed and improve my performance thank you

and thank you for the wonderful world of eminem podcasts thank you i think i mean this is an answer we've given a lot but i think sexual confidence comes from experience but that experience doesn't have to be with partners like that can be solo by yourself and understanding what you like because yeah like i i wholeheartedly understand and relate to like if your first sexual partner like if you're not if you're not understanding of your own body and your own pleasure and orgasm and what you enjoy there's not really anything to measure or compare your sexual experiences to because like they just exist in a vacuum like they just exist there with what they are because there's no end goal and that end goal doesn't have to be an orgasm but there's

there's something there to know that you like or not and it gives the other person like so much power and like responsibility for your enjoyment and then you also are like i'm relying on someone to do something that i enjoy that i don't know about right like and that's a that's a lot of pressure to put on another person and that other person is only going to like we can only learn about our own pleasure from ourselves and so then when someone and i i've been there but when you have when you have sex with someone who you're like in my case i'm like you have fucked a lot of women and like you fucked a lot of women who have told you what they're into and you've fucked a lot of women who you've asked what they're into and like that was a dual responsibility there of

like you asked and they told you you didn't learn how to do like you could have read a book you could have done whatever all of those things but like there was initiative on both parties ends to achieve something and you took that knowledge you stored it in your noggin and then for the next person it was still there and then the next person after that you learned something else and then that got stored there and then that got stored there but that would never happen without those people figuring out what they like first yes cosine everything you just said in addition to what you like today what you like this morning what you like tonight what you like tomorrow night it's never going to be i mean it can be the same but just because you have sex one way doesn't mean

that you're going to continue to enjoy it each time and by knowing yourself and knowing your body knowing what you like what you don't like i mean even you know i feel like all the songs i mean i feel like all the calls today are and write-ins are related but like even like when I'm in a certain mood, if I'm by myself, there are some points that I know I can go to immediately and I can get off. But sometimes that is not going to get me off. Like it just depends on what you want and how you want it. And you only know that after exploring yourself enough to know what you want and then be confident enough to ask for what you want. Remember that sex is about not just pleasing the other person, but it should be about pleasing yourself if that's what you want.

And so you have to ask and try and touch and lick and feel and finger and suck and whatever it is that you want to do. Sucking and fucking. You got to ask for it and you have to say what you want. And it might feel even while you're having sex, it might feel good like right then. But then you got to switch it up. I need I need this now and that now. And just being in tune with your body to knowing what it is that you need or want. And then when you're with a partner, then you're more used to being by yourself and then you can ask for that specifically.

So I do think the nervousness of how you perform as a partner in sex with other people because you don't have a lot of experience. I think that that is like a very natural sort of like feeling. But in order for in order for you to feel more confident with that, you need to have sex with people who are then confident in telling you what they want or what they're into. and if you don't do not do the same thing in return i don't think it's fair that you will then get that from someone else so like you can have sex with more people and not actually really gain any sort of experience from that if you're not being honest like with yourself and figuring yourself out you can't expect other people to be honest with you and have them have already figured their self out there so i do think if learning your own orgasm and like learning what or if it's not completion to an orgasm but like learning your own pleasure and like what you like that will in turn make you have better sex with other people and other people be more comfortable

and confident telling you what they like so like you will get better at having sex and performing acts with for other people by that so i think that is like the first first step there and also you don't have to tell anybody that you're not experienced if you don't want to know or you can tell them yeah but it's just up to you if you're using it as like a precursor of like i'm not really experienced like like that to me is i'm like if you're then i don't think you're ready to have sex with people because that's if you feel like you need to justify ahead of a time to get ahead of like a performance thing there that is coming from me from a place of like you know shaming away from sex and an insecurity in a way that like you don't other you don't owe

other people like that part of not like the sex part of you but i mean like an explanation like a precursor i don't need to tell someone that i'm insecure like that's a very personal like deep-seated thing there and like i don't who are you to know that about me like i'm not going to give you that kind of in-depth part of of me that like a lot of people don't even share that with like your friends or family and stuff so get freaky with your bad self all right we're gonna to take another break and we are back and it's time for don't blame them don't blame them what a wonderful time. If you are like, Megan, what is this time? I'm here to tell you. This is when one of you, one of our listeners calls in or even writes in with their own advice pertaining to a

call that we had aired on a previous episode. So maybe it's about a specific profession. You're in that profession. You have personal experience or you are a professional in the topic that we were broaching or you have by proxy experience or you just have some insight that maybe we didn't touch on or you have something that you want to say and as people who talk on a microphone multiple days a week we understand the need to speak to the masses the need for speak all right here we go hi megan and melissa i'm calling for a don't blame them for facial sermons i actually have experience from the opposite side of this i had a massage therapist who would try and convert me to buddhism every single time i would see her which was only two or three times but it

was highly uncomfortable it was something that no matter what i did even as like a not just like confrontational but more upfront person would i tried saying like i have my own relationship with god that i don't really feel comfortable talking about and nothing would stop that to the point that she would look at my list of you know like you have to list your chronic illnesses and things like that and say that my internal bleeding would be like gone if I just converted and it started becoming just really offensive so I really relate to this caller kind of like people pleasing not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable if you can't get your schedule changed or tell somebody hey this is making me really uncomfortable

please remove this client from my list and the only other thing I could think of is sometimes at the facial services I've received, you can do like a mask or something where you could put it on and maybe leave or make an agreement with a coworker, say like, hey, do you think that you could come in with me and kind of just say like, oh yeah, you know, she's going to be like taking over some of my clients now and kind of so that there's not as much of like the confrontation. She just thinks it's like a regular act of business. I don't know if that's something you'd be comfortable with or that would give you anxiety but i just want you to know that it it does happen and it's so uncomfortable and just hearing your call for the caller i really want

to give you a hug because it really is so awkward all right thanks as we were listening to that and i was reminded of this i realized something i didn't say that i don't think the caller would personally benefit from but it would be dishonest if i didn't say that like when people like will get in my dms and just like say something like and there are certain ways that like there are certain people if you told me you need god i would know exactly what you meant and there would be i would laugh it would be he he ha ha and it would be used for comedic effect there are some other people who could say the exact same thing and i know exactly what i mean but then there's other people who i do not know who are telling me not that like you need god you need jesus but it's

similar like not i don't have internal bleeding as far as i know but like something along those lines of like really pushy and uncomfortable and not the time place or when someone's like i'm praying for you like for your soul to be salvaged because like you are a nasty woman who's going like whatever and so then i will be like oh my gosh thank you so much i put a satanic spell on you so switching it back you're not even no believe in satan neither no i don't even i don't even know that lore but i know what gets i know i know what gets them and so you know you could do like she walks in and like you just go to michael's or joanne's and like it's almost halloween you get all the halloween decorations and you play like spooky music and like she walks

in and you're just like oh i am you know like think of all of the things like i know some people weren't allowed to read harry potter like all of the things that become the what is the anti-christ is that like the that's like the the unholy and devilish they're sure devil yeah it's like where like the things that are categorized into a group of the devil yeah satan lucifer and his friends and the subsidiaries uh i don't think you'll do that but no i do think you could fantasize about that and think about that and transport yourself with your airpods in so you can't hear what she's saying and just fantasize about that okay anyways um thank you for calling in for don't blame them we appreciate it and i think that is it for our episode is it we hope you all enjoyed you had a

wonderful time we hope this was good for you this was very sex heavy it was a sexy episode i felt very old school i know i love it i can't wait to hear about people's i'm excited to make this fucking playlist me too i'm like really fucking stuck it will do two versions too like on the app that i use and on the app you use good call good call if you want to call in for an episode please do or again you can send us a voice memo or shoot us a dm or an email we're making this easy we're easy it's a sex episode like subscribe leave us a review follow our socials practice safe sex wrap it up have a good wet sex good we we do wish you good wet sex haven't said that in a long time but thank you to the listener that originally coined it if you want us to specifically target

it's not dark here but like joining our patreon we have a long-standing relationship with everybody and it's really fun um and oh i have been saying that we're gonna give you know random little shout outs to people we're awarding the people who like we get to know um sarah and nicole because both of you sent fun messages and nice messages one was during the live stream and one of them was like a dm and i was like oh relatable well one of them was a dm and it was definitely not public so i'm not gonna say what that one was then also to brie who we got to like see a whole outfit being picked out for renaissance which is fun and then like you know it's not even just like we just like talk about like lifetime while we're in like the live streams it's fun to like follow

up and we're the last to know everything because they have a whole fucking group chat yep and they're so i wish they won't let us get into charities screaming um but the the thing that i think i one of the things i love the most about it is like the second we have like a new person in and a lot of people which we it's a good call on your part that we leave the videos up so people can go back and watch the other live streams so a lot of people like will kind of watch first before they join to kind of get a little bit of an understanding but like whenever we have new people like automatically five people will just be like oh what's your phone number we'll get what you in the group chat and like it's so nice and kind that it's like there is no they're not

waiting to suss out people like it's just kind of an automatic sort of thing like it's not clicky in that sense and the only time you're gonna get bullied by them is if you like you don't respond like you don't respond to their thousands of messages yeah something happened when we gave a shout out last week the the group snitch said to share it with us because they took pictures of themselves um react they took a picture they took a selfie of them reacting to us giving them a shout out so it's a siblinghood yeah and it's fun it's like the only social interaction i have and so we were talking about it like like on it that they were like oh no i just like referred you guys to my friends and i was like that's literally what i do too like this is the most social i've

been and it's like i don't know how to make this is the only people i talk to all right we'll see you tomorrow for a rousing episode of see you next tuesday aka cunt yours mine and ours bye don't blame me is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production sound and editing by coco lorenz production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter.