Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Boyfriend is Too Close to His Girl Friend

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

But Am I Wrong: Meghan - Get rid of Non-Olympic sports in the Olympics  Melisa - Men's gymnastics needs more sparkle But Are You Wrong Asking your boyfriend to set boundaries with his female friend Wanting your boyfriend to keep his gory work stories away from the dinner table But Are They Wrong Meghan - Danielle Bernstein Melisa - Gavin Newsome Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi welcome to a brand new episode of but am i wrong starring two people who have not once ever in the history let me check nope we've never been wrong that was me checking my watch if you are not on patreon history watch yeah it's a sundial it is okay and it's not the sun is not out right now because apparently it's about to start fucking raining which is insane yeah but it's supposed to just pass through is it it's not gonna be when i say pass through i was just making sure it wouldn't be here on saturday yeah also now wang says it's not gonna rain at all anymore i have questions because it is so cloudy and literally like we are towards the end of our recording day and like probably an hour or so ago i went from being like so hot and sweaty and i took

a beta blocker and like they work but they usually don't work to the point where i was shivering i was like shiver me timbers i'm freezing and that's because it dropped like 10 degrees and all the sun went away meanwhile it shows that it's raining by me but i can't see it now mine says it's also raining and it's not i said it'll stop in 18 mine is gonna stop in eight so who knows we'll see but yeah it's passing through um so my sundial doesn't work but just join the patreon you can see all of the little nicks and gadgets and gizmos a plenty i've got so many i dropped something i found this little that i have for my i was gonna say that's an apple pen that's not just any little pen it's not an apple pin it's like it's a knockoff a pin for an ipad but it's not an app but it it still

does the thing yeah stylus that's what i had one for my phone when i used to try and do like the tiny little writings on my uh story yeah i love that it's just it's a knockoff a stylus okay yeah i started playing sims again but like the mobile version which one there's two the first sims free play oh see that's not the one i played this is the one that i played when it very first came out and i got addicted to that game is sims circa 2002 essentially like all of that it is like the fundamental old school sims so for me i would think elder millennials like that version where i play haven't recently i didn't know there was another it's just the sims but if you liked that version of sims that you're playing right now is that similar to what you

played on your computer no the one that i played on my computer was it feels like what i see people okay yeah then that's the sims on app okay and for me that's what i like played i was not that the other version of it that was a little more um i guess a microsofty like just in the vibe this one's much more appley like in the terms of gotcha if any if you get it you get it sims girls will know so i've always played the appley version of sim so i like that one better but i think it's a good gateway into yours and your uh when we eventually have it on our computers and might i also suggest there is nothing like building a little your sims a gorgeous house on an ipad okay i need a newer ipad because that the ipad that i have is like you've had that

10 years. You've had that iPad longer than I've known you. You've had that iPad since I've known you. I had that iPad longer than I've lived in Los Angeles. So it is older than 10 years old. You used to bring your iPad to things and then you stopped because I don't think it was working as well. And then that's still the iPad you have. Yep. And then I deleted everything off of it. So now it works fine. Yeah. Funny how that happens sometimes. Funny how that happens. I'm convinced when I delete Monopoly off of my iPad, my iPad is going to be like holding juice so well. It's going to be just crushing it but um until i get out of the thick of the monopoly addiction i do need to have two

accounts we're gamer girls we're gamer girls my break lasted what three months but i feel because uh sims free play is new and i don't have to depend on other people so that it makes no i have no this is not i don't think you're breaking it at all i think you're taking a step in a different direction which is a mature grown-up adult things to do yeah it's just self-pleasure self-service um one of the most iconic music videos of all time one of the greatest songs of all time is uh most girls i think that's what it's called and it's like i don't want to be like the whole thing is like most girls are like this most girls are like this and it's like this guy being like yeah most girls pink songs no because here's the thing pink is like i'm not like other

girls and then hayley steinfeld hayley steinfeld song is this guy saying most girls like this most girls like that and she goes yeah i want to be like most girls and it's like it's great but in the i think it's that music video she has a shirt on it that she's at a gas station and it just says self-service and everyone's like hayley and i was like uh kind of love it she i will say i know she's an actress i need her to get back in this i need to get back in the booth that is a pop girl and we need more pop girls. We're getting wonderful pop girls right now, but it's an era of pop girls.

So throw your hat back in the ring, produce some music, give me a little dancey dance. I like that. I'll send you those. I think you'd enjoy that song. It's very like 2016 pop, which to me, throw that on.

My hand goes up, suddenly it's Jersey Shore. I love it. We actually never talked about this and we're going to do this really quick and then we'll get into the rest of the podcast. Jordan Childs staring straight down the barrel of the lens before she does her floor routine fist up and gives a wink did you see it Melissa I actually need a professional photographer to release the images in black and white and the way I need that in my home that photo I also love how

hype she gets for herself after she knows something yes and then how she gets hype for everybody else she is like I saw an interview everyone's like she's everyone's favorite person on the team like she's close to everyone everyone would say like jordan's who i would call jordan's like she is that like will bail you out of jail who you want to call when you had like after a breakup or whatever like she's like the best hype person ever and like someone was saying like i wish i hope that like the trend of her celebrating after she nails a routine is a becomes the norm because the women are not encouraged to do that the men are encouraged to do that the women are not they have to be like very serious and prim and proper and that's supposed to be like correlated

to great gymnastics like but when you have the best gymnast in the game like knowing that they're the best and like being like yeah look like look what i just did this is amazing then it like opens that up for everybody to be able to do that not just like oh this is cocky because again michaela skinner was the only one who used to do the she was like oh my god i crushed that and everyone's like you actually were so bad like that was actually really bad i love jordan and i love her makeup she did a vogue makeup routine i love the whole team i love them all for different reasons they all it just feels like a you know you get a little bit every yeah i love them speaking of love you're gonna love our podcast uh this is where the we two people have not once ever been

wrong and you know how you can know this for sure both of us predicted joe biden was stepping down and our girl kamala harris was going to be we're like we're gonna need a new person i think they're setting her up and guess what we were right correct everyone doubted us even the man that i'm betrothed she doubted me even professionals in the field i actually first said it four years ago well let's be real when you and i both are voting for joe biden we said yeah well he's old and thank god as soon as as soon as he confirmed her as the vp both of us went yeah no i'm excited over him could i say that it was because he was going to i assumed he was going to die in office in his first term and she was going to take over no of course i wouldn't say that i said second

term yeah well i said first term i said he looked a little he looked like he wanted it about yeah and now finally he is so just know that like you're interesting we we've we've never been wrong we've got a good we've got that good gut feeling so we have three different segments we will explain each of them before we get into them but what you need to know is that we ask you to vote along with who you think was wrong in each circumstance. So we post the votes as slides over on our Instagram story and you vote. And then you can also write in, respond to those stories on why you voted the way you did, your thoughts and your feelings. And if you'd like to hear how other people do it, that's because you can hear it in our podcast called See You Next Tuesday, where

we read the results from the prior week's episode of But Am I Wrong? So you can hear that if you like are curious about how you should like respond and you can listen to that it's honestly so self-explanatory just like yeah i voted this way or you know whatever and we also are all very okay if you vote wrong and you want to be like hey i voted wrong and we do notice that when you voted wrong when it really counts that you most of you do respond and go i'm so sorry i voted wrong and then there are some people i think someone was in i think one of the people was in our page i can't remember who it was in that moment though where they voted wrong and they were like you we were reddit on this and i was like you i mean babe you don't have to say you put it wrong like we know

you like septum piercing blue hair like i i know you actually didn't mean to say that you thought like ron de sandis was great or like whatever it was so we love to hear from you all so our first segment which is not segment in any language but i've been listening to and watching the olympics so i'm feeling worldly so the first segment is but am i wrong that's when we pick something from our personal lives that we might be wrong about also could just simply be a rant or just thoughts and feelings that we need a stage, a podium, a microphone to get up on and share every little minutia belief that we have about that thing. So take it away, Megan. So my hot take, which we're unsure if we have the same one, so we'll see. But mine is get rid of

non-olympic sports in the olympics okay that's do you know what i don't actually need to see basketball in the olympics i don't need to see basketball in the olympics mostly also because nba players will also play internationally and they'll go and do different things like that so we see everyone it happens from all over the world this is not like a super american centric sport in itself but what do you mean you're telling me that lebron james has to fly to paris sleep on a cardboard bed he's not and play basketball what what if you want to bring basketball players might i suggest the harlem globetrotters i would love to see what they could do in paris maybe you should have put them in the opening ceremony great idea save it for la

golf no what are you doing here what are you doing here now here's the other part am i torn when it comes to tennis yes because ultimately winning the u.s open wimble yeah winning wimbledon is a much bigger accolade than winning the olympics so my my criteria is if you have a sport specific accolade or award that means more than olympic medal you shouldn't be in the olympics it's as if this point if you tell me that football is going there no no no and i don't mean football i mean f-o-o-t ball it is that's the part that i'm like no no they have the super bowl they don't neat. No, no, no. This is a time for canoe

slalom to shine. This is a time for fencing to shine. This is a time for, you know, I don't love guns, but if you're going to shoot guns, shoot them in the Olympics. They can shine there. Take the guns out of the classrooms, put them back in the shooting ranges there. Did you see the man from Turkey who just decided to start

doing it? Everyone's like, is this a hit man? Right. I would not be surprised if he's a hit man. Also, he's so wildly calm. The fact that they have their heart rates. Okay, archery. Because I don't want us to bring the Hunger Games in. I don't need us to caten us every day in it. But we have all of these other sports that don't get as much to be seen.

And we already have things that are very, very, very well-known sports. Gymnastics, swimming, all of those things. Track and field. We have so many. Skateboarding, breakdancing. And I'm okay with those. I'm okay with those things because you know what? You don't have a Super Bowl for those things.

might maybe winning the x games is kind of better whatever but truly at the end of the day i don't need to see baseball i don't need to see football i don't need to see golf i don't need to see basketball and i don't need to see men's soccer i do need to see women's soccer and i do need to see women play tennis so there are some sports where i would like coco golf to be there and i would like them to be nice to her but they're not even being fucking nice to her so i just think at a certain point you are making your athletes work way too fucking hard for an olympic medal that doesn't really even mean shit for their careers i disagree okay we had this argument as a family and matz and i were i think the only ones on this side and here's my reason why is

because i know that this happened the year before you were born so you don't remember i wasn't there you weren't there but me being a wee tot was very excited about it so it used to be before 1992 people that play basketball in the olympics could not be professional basketball players oh that's more fun it was more fun but we were losing all the time well how much is it even a competition really at a certain point so then they created this team when they started to allow the nba players in in 1992 it was all the rage it was called the dream team oh yeah let's talk about that yes so it was michael jordan scotty pippen john stockton carl malone which fuck him magic johnson larry bird patrick like all the hits and so this was so spectacular that it got

people excited about basketball being in the olympics which they weren't before yeah and like even fuck mcdonald's but fuck me but they had like a dream team spread and i believe it was tied in with the monopoly game too you know I love that I know and so so like it was a huge deal and I remember it I had the shirt that I recently saw somebody wearing the shirt I was like I had that shirt when I was a kid and I need to find like a replica because it was so cool it just had everybody's big heads blown up on the shirt it was a movement yeah and so now it's people that wouldn't normally get to play with each other on a team they get to go out and have fun and dominate another sport and bring home a different another gold medal for the u.s and

that's why i don't have a problem with it i think if they mixed it up like throw something else in there and that's why i said at heart like maybe make them have them do something make it like one of those celebrity sports games or whatever but like it's just i do understand because i did watch a guy who his wife him and his wife are british and she is surprised brought him to the u.s u.s and senegal oh yeah yeah yeah right that was the one that yeah that was a couple of yeah that was one of the early ones she brought him to that and he was like lebron is his hero and so he was like crying and he was like so happy so like bringing them there i totally get it i just think that like how can we have them have a little more fun and it reminds me of they are having fun but as a viewer

I want I want I want to see something a little different than we see on TV, like like that we see just like a standard basketball game. I think for basketball, you got to think of it as this isn't for it's not a real team, too. It's not us like U.S. It is us against the world. And so it's not just a thing. It's not like the Warriors are playing. It's like a team of all of the different U.S. players. yes and then also there's players like that play in the nba that never actually get to play in their home country but they do during so that i enjoy and but there was one that i think it was for men's it might have been for men's volleyball it was something but they just did an entrance

where they started breakdancing before they got into formation so everyone's like did we get to the wrong thing are we at breakdancing and i just think i'm like throw something a little fun and different in there but at the same time i'm also not fucking watching it because so like if you don't want to watch it don't watch it but basketball is by far the one i have the least issue with because first of all basketball players objectively tend to be pretty attractive secondly they're very tall and a lot of them are friends with each other the golf one and the baseball one baseball isn't currently in but it's coming back yeah and why yeah who asked that i don't understand because their seasons overlap i'm like we don't need to do that baseball don't

need it but again baseball is an international sport that a lot of people get into without a doubt it's just they're also bringing cricket back and i'm like it's the same sport maybe have the baseball players go play cricket i don't see i'd watch that i would watch that and have the basketball players play volleyball like i just think that like specifically for the ones who are like so famous but i do like seeing and i haven't seen a single moment of basketball but i have seen basketball players interacting and so one of them is now plays for i don't know what team but he plays uh volleyball and lebron like he was like oh my god he's like i've been keeping up i've been watching and i just saw all these clips and monsters like that man was like the

most beloved man in the nba like everyone loves him like he is just like no one has anything but like great things to say about him and you look in the stands during his i forget what's the country he's playing for his volleyball it's like all these fucking nba players on their off day being like and to me i enjoy seeing that a lot more than the basketball but the golf they went five like millions of dollars playing all of these other fucking tournaments they don't need this i yeah golf i'm like whatever because it's not even really a team sport anyway tennis for me i love tennis i love seeing everybody play but like you said like wimbledon already exists they are they are tennis is an international sport as it is yep and when i i had to turn off

one of coco's games because i was like i do not want you to get hurt and i don't want to see it for the olympics way exactly and it's just like we've got bigger things but everything else i'm just like whatever but the tennis is the one and it's more so me being concerned for the players yeah i also don't need men's soccer but again i do need women's soccer yeah soccer is already an international sport and i won't i don't usually watch women play soccer in the olympics but i'll watch them play at anything else so and i will say that i think if we get rid of some of these sports that we don't need it and moss's criteria is like yours he says if you already regularly compete internationally if that is a part of like the biggest award or the biggest accolade

is an international one or you are a sport that is only played domestically, you should not be in the Olympics. Like that doesn't make any sense. So that's like his criteria, which I agree with. But I think it needs to put ways for,

I am a huge fan of introducing surfing, introducing breakdancing, introducing skateboarding, and it's time for cheerleading. Yes. It's fucking time. And I need us to get rid of baseball and put cheerleading in.

Cheerleading is overdue competitive cheer. is way overdue way overdue and like i think people think of it as just a u.s thing and it's not like it's no it's not and it's so it takes so much talent and skill and the issue is is like there's no professional quote-unquote cheerleading past there's no professional like uh competitive cheerleading like at all so i think if you're able to do that a i think even sports cheerleaders will make more money um but i think beyond that like you could then have people who have brand deals and all of this stuff where it used to be like before college athletes could do the olympics or both like you could make us we could make a sport something that's like so huge and like such

a iconic inspirational kind of thing and we could make the lives and careers so let's do that yeah i do agree with that that's my hot take mine is also olympic related um but not that take but mine is okay so I'm excited that the men's gymnastics team got a medal first time and I think they said 15 years or ever I don't know men's gymnastics doesn't really make me excited because I feel like it's boring and the main reason it's boring is because they do not have music on the floor routine they also cannot walk as like with the women's gymnastics you know they're like prancing around and stuff and men's gymnastics they can't walk during their routine so they do these weird little side step thingies don't talk bad on my little fairy my

little fairy twirls they're not even like but not the twirls i'm talking about when they kind of limp to the side with both their arms out and they're sitting on one foot no i i have to say I personally love it because it's the only moment of like a little bit of sparkle we get and I want more. I know but I want more sparkle. I want more sparkle. So according to this article with CNN

when the sport was developed for women they adapted the men's sport to make it quote unquote appropriate for women. Women were expected to do soft, rhythmic, flowing, graceful movements that emphasize beauty and flexibility. This is why there isn't music in

the men's part. But I will say as gymnastics has evolved, that is not what that's not all that the women's is anymore. Like they're showing before it was like the men is just showing like power and stuff. But like in women's gymnastics, we are also getting that. So the men's gymnastic needs to evolve as well. Give them some fucking music. Let them prance around. Like I know that artistic isn't part of the men's event.

make it part of the men's event let's put some razzle dazzle on that fucking floor so i can see somebody pop lock and drop it into a round off front handspring do their little twirly thing they do on the ground their break dancing routines essentially put some music to it put some fucking music to it yep because they're already girly pop as it is i know make make we First of all, we need to make the Olympics gayer as a whole. But gymnastics, brat summer, throw it in there. Yes. Everybody got excited by Steve, Stephen,

the gymnast that took off his little glasses and then couldn't see while he was doing the horse. Imagine all the excitement of Steve dancing around on the floor too. And imagine, like, pick a song that you want Steve to be riding on that horse for. I would say surfboard. Surfboard. Yeah.

that would have been great like think of all of the music to it i i agree with you wholeheartedly i think i literally was explaining months to months the um evolution of gymnastics about how like the perfect way to see the difference and like kind of when the switch started from the artistry and quote-unquote gracefulness and long lines of gymnastics is uh 2008 yeah 2008 sean johnson and nastia lukin watching the difference between both of them nastia who looks so much taller than Sean she's like four inches tall like she's not that much taller but she's very different lines and you see that like they are doing even similar moves look so different and it was like the first time like a quote-unquote power and I don't think Sean Johnson would

consider herself a power gymnast at this point but like that was a kind of the beginning of that and as that has happened then you had Gabby Douglas who was combined again similar to Sean combining both of those elements to then we get to the point of Simone where it's like she's so much fucking power that now we see russia and some other eastern european countries don't do as well because that is the training of like the very thin wavy like really long line kind of thing and then we see countries like we see brazil and italy and the girl from algeria who is was french and then said fuck y'all and now it's completely crushing them all that's where you see that they like start to soar and like where russia and china don't do as well because that is not the what has

in the the build quote unquote for what they wanted gymnasts to be and i was saying to months i was like yeah and the issue is is they don't let them close they don't let them land legs closed and they don't let them slow down by opening their legs mid-air while they're landing like the boys do so if the girls got power down i need the boys to bring back hike up those shorts give me some long lines throw on a song and dance around and shake it and stop making me feel like you are about to like absolutely tear your acl and the way they throw themselves through the air and hardly ever land and this is not a knock at them at all but it's like a level of power that women have over them at this point so they keep trying to like it keeps going like more and more power

or whatever and it just becomes terrifyingly reckless to watch i was watching the men's yesterday their overall everything everyone was falling and i was just like get up get up and dance get up and shake your ass they were falling off the horse they were falling on the bar they were falling off the vault they were falling on the floor everyone everyone so if we added some grace to this because they are they got the power down but if you add the grace then then they wouldn't be falling as much. And do you know how we know that gracefulness

aids in winning? Because the only, the only man there who I can tell you with confidence has a perm was on the podium. And I said, there we go.

That is a girly pop who was like, was that the guy from China? Yep. With his little wave. I told him, I told him, I go,

he was stunning. I said, now that is a perm. His hairstylist better be reposting every goddamn fucking picture saying, you want this?

Because I did this. stunning gorgeous and i was like thank you finally and also we cheered for steven and you know who's the most girly pop on that team steven but frederick i have high fucking hopes for you yeah frederick you have all the personality all over the place but and but frederick has all the personality in the world he's like i need people to start watching gymnastics and this is our advice to you sass it up music bring some cunt i need you i need i need some of it yes and i think the women should have to do less of it you know what i didn't realize was so cunty before they even stepped out onto the actual place where they perform the fucking synchronized swimmers i don't

know if you saw their intro before they even got in the water what's up i said team usa we monster and i have saved that to watch tonight because the way every night i go can we watch it And he goes, let's, let's wait for, and I go, I have been chomping at the bit. I am, I am a synchronized swimming girl till I fucking die. Like I need my sports to involve so much glitter, so much Swarovski crystals, or I needed to involve something that goes, who said this was allowed to be a sport, AKA canoe slalom. So like that to me, synchronized swimming is, Katie Ledecky, you're amazing, but I got to say, I love a little leg in the air.

I love the, I love the drama. like it's so over the top it's a performance yes before they even got in the water i was like what the fuck even is this yes what is this it looks sometimes depending on the team they can look kind of ballroomy because nobody else was doing it though it was just team usa that would bring the cunt hell yeah there's a couple countries a couple years ago who it literally looked like new york ballroom scene entrances and i was waiting for someone to like literally do a death drop and i was like are my am i about to be like you're about to break your leg like it right i love that shit so now i'm even more excited to watch i've been saving it for tonight

all right well when we take our break we're going to get into butter you're wrong and god bless We are back and it is time for, but are you wrong? Where we read your submissions that you send to but am i wrong pot at gmail.com you tell us about the circumstance or situation you found yourself in that you would like to know if you are in the wrong so we ask that you keep it under 300 words it is all anonymous so you use pseudonyms for people and you give us all of the relevant details and then round it off by asking would you be wrong if you or what were you wrong you know insert hair blank we just don't want to do um you're wrong about feeling things because we might be bitches. We might be cunts, but very rarely are we ever going to tell you that you're wrong

for feeling a certain type of fun. So hi, Eminem. Love the pod. I am writing in about my boyfriend at 23 and his relationship with his female friend, 25. We'll call her Danica. No, we're going to call her Danica because I have a family member name in the other pronunciation. And so I will be on her side if I say it like that. Okay. We'll call her Danica. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and he's been friends with this girl from a program for a couple of years now he spends his time with her at the gym for the most part for context about two months into our relationship he left my place in the morning to go to brunch with people from his program but quote-unquote everyone canceled at the last minute and they spent the entire day

bar hopping together assuming that's with Danica which made me uncomfortable considering he never once told me about her a bit of backstory he told me that he had to hide behind his ex-girlfriend's back because she was uncomfortable with their relationship. And one time he and Danika spent the night together taking unprescribed Adderall and doing schoolwork, which is very alarming to me. I've noticed the past few months that they send each other picture slash emoji filled texts very often late at night when I'm with him. And I've made comments explaining how it makes me feel awkward. He always says that he wants me to feel secure and will do what is necessary to make me feel more comfortable within our relationship, but I don't want it to be on my terms. Last week,

Danika asked if he would quote unquote hypothetically go to a music festival with her in florida we are in canada he responded saying no but they still rub me the wrong way would it be wrong of me to ask him to take a step back from the friendship slash have more strict boundaries i love that he has a close female friendship but i think given the events i haven't been feeling very easy i would love to know what you ladies think about the situation thank you so much do you actually love that he has a close female friendship because to me i don't know if you have a girl problem i think you have a boyfriend problem so like i don't know i as someone who's friends with lots of gay men and straight men i have been made to be the quote-unquote villain

female friend no fucking romantic relationships there but i was able to tell my friend saying hey you can't phrase things like this hey that's not cool don't do that and that is like so much of it can be put on yes there are there are women who are you know that stereotype of like oh my god i'm just like the girl best friend but there's also times where it's like that's not how they view of the relationship or how the relationship is at all but guys will either have feelings for that want their to want them in their delusional head to think that it's a possibility to phrase it like that or just want to feel desirable and will phrase it like that so you haven't even said if you know her like if you've met her and you've hung out with her because i think if he is keeping

her separate it is not a it's not that he needs to create boundaries with her because like that's uncomfortable that is like he's disrespecting your relationship and you shouldn't have to tell him to do that yes one of my close guy friends when he got his girlfriend he said I want y'all to be friends and now I'm closer to her than I am to him so like that's how it should have been is that he should have introduced you to her immediately it shouldn't have been like anything secret and then like if y'all are going play if they're going places together weren't you being invited yeah that's part of the problem if she wanted to go to the music festival it should have been like do y'all want to go to the music festival not just him that's weird i think it's there's two

different things going on like she needs to also know boundaries but also but your boyfriend has to be the one that initially set the boundaries yeah and like he can also spin a very different story about the relationship to her in the sense that like oh it would make her feel really uncomfortable if you messaged so don't do that you know what i mean so like there's an aspect of it that like i think i would not feel comfortable being first of all i wouldn't feel comfortable with any of my close friends never meeting their partner who's like yes they like that to me is weird regardless if like of our genders that's super fucking weird to me like i would be like what the fuck is i have to meet this person like what's going on so that already there

i would not feel like i just think that's fucking weird i would just not do that and then on top of that making sure that you're being respectful and also knowing that like once you've met her then you have a relationship and she can kind of do that broken bear like she can break the barrier thing and it can become like yeah i don't think that that's what she thinks or that's what whatever so like it's there's less tiptoeing or dancing around the subject here so i think that you would be wrong if you told him create a stronger boundary with her because i don't know that that he i don't know that she is the problem whatsoever you would not be wrong if you wanted to or you insisted on meeting her and hanging out with her and then going from there to decide about

what you want to do with the relationship because that's just not it's just not it's not it like because again i i don't know that you making him create this boundary uh would change anything from him because he also never told you about her like he's not proving himself to be a very trustworthy forthright and super honest about her specifically to even begin with so i think creating that boundary might give you a false sense of security and instead she also needs to know what she's a part of the other the girl who's involved in that as well so and you'd also think if he said to me this is just him covering his ass like that he's saying that like oh his last girlfriend had an issue with her so then you would then think that you would reflect on how you created that

relationship with her and so that was bad and so then the next time you're in a relationship you're not going to do that same thing again so like to me this gives maybe not guy who's cheating on you but guy who wants to believe he has a shot with his best friend and he might not but that has nothing to do with her and has everything to do with him and you might have something to do with her but you have to meet her first to know that yeah all right hey ladies am i wrong if i tell my partner i don't want to hear about his day at work time for some background information my boyfriend and i have been together a few years and we live together he is currently in med school and he's been shadowing surgeries lately i don't think i worded that correctly but hey i'm not in

med school so since he's started this rotation he gives me graphic details on the cool surgeries he seeds, sometimes over dinner. I'm incredibly squeamish, which he knows. I think he tells me these stories for that reason. When I brought that up to him, he was like, not at all. You used to not mind me telling you about my day, which is true because he was in pediatrics. We had spoken agreement not to talk about anything said that went with that rotation. So I look forward to hearing about his day now not so much would it be wrong to ask him not to tell me about his day until his next hopefully less less graphic rotation i mean i feel like he can still tell you about his day just don't tell you about the the specificities of the surgery he could say

today i sat in on a splint but he doesn't have to tell you how they opened up the brain yeah let's just keep it pg i i was there for two surgeries to two like surgery rounds today it was really cool i really liked the doctor i was shadowing under it was fun and i had a chicken pot pie for lunch yeah just don't go into details yeah i feel like this is an easy solution i think he knows this though yes so to me i don't know that kind of some of the last one like i don't i think there may be the reason why you're saying if i ask him to not tell you about his day because you feel like you have to create a bigger bubble because you've already asked for him to not say about this and he's still doing it so you're trying to like make this a larger catch-all

but if you think he's trying he's telling you about this because he knows you're squeamish trust that gut instinct because that i think is a really big red flag when someone you can tell on their face basically when they tell you something that they know your reaction is going to be poor and you could see them that's what that's the satisfaction like that's what they wanted and i don't think your gut's probably wrong about that so can you throw up on command because do you think that would stop him if you just projectile vomit on him as it as he tells you so i think that if he if you have to say that create this like huge overarching net to try and it be a catch-all so he doesn't talk about it without being explicitly saying hey i

don't want it to hear about your surgery rotations the graphic details like really gross the most i can handle is how many surgeries you saw that day if you enjoyed the doctor you worked with you enjoyed the people you were with that's it that's all i want to know and like you're more than welcome to have those conversations with your peers and and like those people i'm not that right audience and if you can't listen to that then that he's choosing it yep but yeah also this is why there's all those like jokes and memes about like med students and like residency students who like just become so insular and friends with each other because this is all like they all want they want to talk about and so it's like yeah talk about it with each other i also do not think in

general it is a good habit and it's a defense so many fucking people do online it's like my job is very traumatic like you know we use humor to cope we have to talk about it to cope totally fine talk about it offline with people who are your peers in your work environment not in front of patients but people you work with who understand the same levels don't don't get comfortable talking about certain like people's bodies being cut up with your significant other at home or like your next door neighbor or whatever that is like that to me i don't think is cool and i don't like when doctors do that and that starts at this level so yeah and like what if he like gets a job and like he decides he wants to do like brain surgery or he wants to do like cardiology specifically

surgery related spinal surgery like that stuff like is he gonna come home every day after work and talk about it disgusting but draw the line i'm not telling you to break up because probably make a lot of money and also if he goes into surgery he might have a god complex and then you don't want to be around that person yeah i think if you're telling someone that you who you know is squeamish and doesn't enjoy hearing what the surgeries and you are getting pleasure out of it i think we've got something that's a little more sinister than even just a odd complex and unfortunately those tend to be uh incredibly successful i know people in medicine tell him to work on his bedside manner his table side manner exactly perfect way to put it table

side guacamole no table side manner but also always yes for a table side guacamole i love that do you do they do that a lot of other places is that like a huge i was gonna say it's a big california thing no i will say now it's not because like avocados aren't everywhere yeah now that we're shipping things and stuff that yeah that you can't because you can't have satisfying table side guacamole where they may but if anyone has no they make it in front of you they roll a little card out they have all the ingredients you have to have soft avocados do that you don't want to watch someone really straining their biceps because you go that's about to be chewy i will say i didn't see it for the first time until i was like in high school

yeah i i love dinner in the show the kabachi set something on fire that's what i'm about to say set something on fire while we're cooking i love to see it the volcano love it okay we are gonna take a break a break it's actually gonna take a break throw another little loop on that b it's gonna be a b we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back and we are back it is our final installment and that installment is But are they wrong? Melissa, what is what are they wrong? But are they wrong is when we pick someone from the world, someone that is getting a

little buzz right now, or it might be something from a small town that we just happened upon where they just are the worst or among the worst of the week. And we wanted to bring it to everyone's attention. What do you got, Megan? I have a repeat offender. so i would like to nominate danielle bernstein who if you might be familiar her instagram we wore what the list of this this girl is collecting controversies like infinity stones and we have reached one where similar to that meme and community if you can forgive racism but you

draw the line at treating animals badly boy do i have the story for you i have to say seeing people react to this going, this is the worst thing she's ever done. I go, okay. I mean, she's done a lot of very bad, very import taste things, but anyone who's ready to finally now hop on the train of like, this girl needs to be stopped. She is a absolute menace to small businesses. She steals from small businesses. Specifically, she finds small black owned businesses, gets them to send her stuff for free. And then she recreates it. And then it's like, I don't even know who that person is. And it's like, you literally slid into our DMs asking for free stuff. And she's like, i don't know who that is like she's like ruthless absolutely ruthless so she on her own accord

and this is what she always says she always says these things about i'm like why would you tell yourself she posts on her instagram story a picture of her french bulldog and it says not the news we wanted my baby bleaker has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor my heart is shattered and so devastated but committed to providing the best care and quality of life for him for what time he has left exploring all of our options for radiation medication so shocked trying to process right now the next day she posts a photo of her hugging her dog who looks like he wants something to do with her with the caption such a heavy heart leaving bleaker to go on my trip but i know he's in great hands with his auntie gloria and her calm home upstate where

he'll be taking his medicine and getting full 24-hour care until we start radiation in a few weeks the doctors recommended waiting to see how he does the new medication rest and relaxation blah blah the doctors are so hopeful and many of you are so hopeful the stories of prolonged life after treatment thank you for all the kind messages blah blah blah i know that how common this is in older dogs it doesn't make it any easier it's been a really emotional few days blah blah blah blah blah thanks for everyone for the appreciate the very intense and quick education i've been getting getting well able to care for my little boy this dog has terminal brain cancer and she is going on a trip to greece a trip to greece her and if i am not wrong this

has been speculation people aren't some people were not entirely sure the last time I looked that they were like this dog is also not very like only about four years old so if they're finding this cancer in him earlier than most dogs they say like it's a very common cancer for this dog breed of dog to get according to people who have been reading talking about this but getting it that young typically is not because of necessarily the breed it might be genetically predisposed not again just from the breed but from the dog's parents and possibly has a much shorter lifespan from this because only they think speculate only be like four years old which is very fucking young and then her next story after that that she posts took some me

time this morning to visit blank for an epic colonic this morning always super booked up but amazing to clear out the toxins with the poop emoji and a heart so on your free will you shared that your dog has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and then you go but still going on my trip to Greece and to prepare for my trip to Greece I'm having explosive diarrhea now I feel so cleansed got all those toxins out feeling awesome and amazing holy shit first of all I think that you know if you're willing to leave your dog while your dog is about to start going through chemo and radiation or I don't know if just well radiation at the very least you actually probably shouldn't have the dog and the dog should be with someone who will actually care for the dog

because they would have no doubt that they would never just go on this trip. Also, girl, you're an influencer. You can go on this trip whenever you want to. This is not work. This is whatever this fucking is. And then why would you fucking share it? That's the thing is like, just don't share it.

Just don't say anything. How hard is it just not to say one word? It's like, and all of, like 99% of the controversies that she gets herself into, she opts in. she like hops in feet fucking first where it's like you don't stumble into this like you go out of your way to intentionally do this and then it's what uh what do you mean of course it's fine it's it's just so wild to me because like is there like a horrible part of me and also i'm not a dog

owner at this point in my life so like if anyone's like how could you say that i don't have a dog right now if i had a dog i'm sure i would feel very differently but like her and i are in very different financial situations but also i am the big believer of like depending on the person don't always want to count other people's money you don't necessarily know that like this kind of trip or whatever if i had a trip book and it was ten thousand dollars non-refundable and it was like oh my god okay well it's i'm only gonna be gone a week the dogs like there's no there's no treatment happening right now i already have the pet sitter set up and like you've already put the deposit down on all this stuff and it's like would i feel at this point again me without a dog i could

see myself going like should i still go should i not what what is that if i actually have the dog i probably would be a very easy no decision i'm staying here but boy oh boy would i never i a i would never feel confident i'm making the call about going like if i went i'd probably still feel really guilty but i wouldn't feel confident in it nearly enough to post about it like less than 24 hours later or just don't post about the dog and go on your trip exactly or don't post about your trip after you post about your dog yeah you can't have it both ways then like and then be like oh and people have already said that she's like a very shitty dog owner i again don't know much about that but like and then to post like oh i need to get the toxins cleared out like

at this point i'm like is this a kink like do you love i think she likes to be in beers i think she does too all of these things could be so fucking avoided and again you'd think maybe she'd make a burner account to request free product before she replicates it she doesn't and so it's like what and she's yeah she's posting things i mean like been packing crazy and bleakerizes mri but it's like pictures of her outfits and it's like what there's no way that she doesn't know what she's doing yeah i think it's crazy but let's say like it's controversial sign me up because people are going to talk about it yeah and i have uh from people are saying on the subreddit that i guess she's like very and i don't love this narrative but i think it fits for her and i'll

deem it when it's necessary that she's like desperate to get married to her boyfriend and like she's been desperate to get married the last like two guys she dated and they like broke things off and um she had this very high society guy who they're like her family would his family would hate her like they're like smith so they're very like a hoity-toity like waspy and like not their vibe and also we're not flaunting money like this no and also i don't know much about them in general but like if they meant the traditional aspect of wasp like danielle is a jewish woman so like there could be a whole other aspect to it there so like i'm not like damn she missed out on a great one next i don't fucking know i think high society rich new york people not my vibe but that

she's like really been like desperate to marry and like it's like launches relationships and boyfriends like very quickly and it's like so over the top with it she's the one who i sent you that video of her like dancing on him or whatever um that people are like i think she thinks she's getting engaged on this trip and that's why she won't cancel it and i was like again just don't post but she has to post that she gets engaged on the trip but she doesn't need to post about the dog no of course but she but she needs to be able to post everything she needs to feel bad for her and then happy for her it's crazy so if the stealing from black small businesses wasn't enough if the posting bikini pictures talking about ukraine i think that was what

she was talking about wasn't enough if her architectural digest home tour wasn't enough hopefully this you could draw the line at the abandon your dog to go to grace well i uh don't know what to say about that because i feel like she just likes to do these type of things she'll get her rocks off regardless yeah yeah it's a it's a it's a wild time all right well my pick is governor gavin newsom and he uh at the end of last week set up put an order in place to clear out homeless encampments for people who live in them and if you don't know this is like where unhoused people set up tents and he put in an order that we no longer need these around la which or not even la all of california which i understand one part of it of how like you know

let's make the the streets safer i guess but like where are these people supposed to go let's get them housing if we're getting rid of this housing in place first which like la specific like our mayor has been working very hard at creating housing but it's not nearly enough for everyone and so I've seen videos of like police officers just like tearing down these encampments even with people like sleeping inside of them and terrifying these people and telling them they they have to leave but like where are they supposed to go get housing for these people first don't put this order in place until there's enough housing for everyone yeah I agree with that it should be a hey we've set up all this housing here you don't have to live here in these

encampments if you don't want to and also there's a huge there's a long kind of like getting comfortable process like a lot of people be like why aren't people in like homeless shelters a a lot of them are full but also a lot of them have like stipulations that like specifically if you are a mom or a father and you have a kid of the opposite sex or gender if they're over a certain age can't be with you and they're separated in that sense sometimes it's very hard to get placements of families and uh there could be rules there that like aren't good or there are people there you don't trust whatever that is so like it takes a while even if there's spots open in homeless shelters for people to trust the system quote unquote again and so to like not only rip

this out from tons of people in general but also with nothing in place at all let alone not accounting for the time it takes to get acclimated to that and to like trust that program and that system. We have none of that. And it makes me really irate as someone who's like lived in California my whole life. I've been exposed to California's always has always has been kind of a destination and a location for people who are experiencing homelessness because of our weather and year round, it's a lot better and it's a lot safer. And that is something that I, again, who have lived here my whole life, I've experienced San Francisco, like witness at San Francisco homelessness at East Bay all the way to LA that to me is something that I I am so glad

there is a state where people can go that doesn't snow that doesn't have all of this weather that is so bad where they can be in a circumstance or situation that is not preferred for them but that they are safer there and so now suddenly when we make one of the few states because every other west arizona gets too hot other places get too too fucking hot for that and so like yeah to view this as something that is a problem and it also feels super ironic because i think it was last year or the year before we lapsed on a three trillion dollar uh low income housing thing that it was free and you would get a kickback if you built it and no one wanted to even build it so that grant passed and lapsed i mean so like no one took up on that and it just like makes me

irate and like i feel so much more unsafe i feel worried when i see police at homeless encampments i don't feel unsafe when i see homeless encampments whatsoever so that makes me just like very upset and there's so many things that could be done that are helpful and this feels like we're jump starting and kick-starting uh what we did during the super which we all we're gonna what's gonna happen during the olympics which is why a lot of like Angelenos are super against it that you're just going to take vans and take people who are currently living on in at this point I don't know if they'll be encampments but who are not who are currently unhoused and drive them to fucking San Diego like that's yeah yep and other states come

and drop off essentially dumping unhoused people or people that they don't know what to do with they'll come and dump them here and just here's like a number and i will say like i said karen bass has been like going asking people like if they want to move but there are according to our beautiful um la controller there are 46 260 people experiencing homelessness right now and there's only 16 100 beds so and there's a lot of la apartments that are fucking vacant like downtown or like there's so many vacant apartments that are if anyone doesn't know very close to skid row hop skip and a jump like so many options and also karen bass wasn't mayor when that when grant laps right and um yeah people i really it is such a hot quote-unquote like hotbed topic of talking

about like homelessness in los angeles and like how someone's going to fix it or whatever um but tv show loot which is essentially like if we're um my rudolph yes my rudolph is playing like a melinda gates or the basis of billionaires x and she has all this money doesn't realize that she had a foundation set up and so in the show they're literally in downtown la taking those buildings and turning it into homes for the unhoused and i'm just like i know it takes time but you have the blueprint right here yeah and like we've got four years to the olympics and i'm like get it together we could have part of the reason why that grant was there was because they were like me maybe you want this in the olympics yeah like there's just so many ways to do this

and like there's so many components to it there's like drug components to it as well and that's also part of the reason why a lot of homeless shelters don't work is like there's no using allowed in there and like for people who are in like the thick of needing that and it's not safe for them to even detox from any of that or whatever but then also in order to like cease using those drugs for an extended period of time and ideally forever there needs to be mental health treatment as well and like trauma-informed treatment and all of this and like it's not just so simple of like if we take away their homes and they'll find homes and it's like what the fuck are you on about like it's just so irritating and i really hate how i hear other politicians talk about it and i'm

like deeply disappointed in gavin gavin newsom because i personally we can talk shit about california for certain things whatever but i don't like what other people do and i do not like when our representatives start enacting things in the same way that other people talk about our crime ridden city right and i'm like why are you acting like this is like stop stop and he also like was so quick to like not let people blame the last like really big fire we had under the freeway on a homeless encampment because it wasn't it wasn't it was a disgruntled renter there or they all think it was the person who had it who's trying to get insurance whatever and he was so quick to shut that down and i don't like this vibe and don't be a hot villain

be a hot right be a hot regular politician it's like he'll be like good good good good good and then does one thing and i'm just like stop you know what it pisses me off because like i don't want to have to defend you you know what i mean because i'm like people conservatives hate you for a different fucking reason right and i'm like i don't want you to be like that and like i understand that like being a politician at the end of the day is an unethical job it is a corrupt job the system is corrupt you cannot be you can't you in order to participate it and you have to come to some of your morals or whatever but this to me this was not called for this is not no one was asking for this this wasn't like a i again didn't like what you did during the super bowl

but i knew you were gonna do it this is like unprecedented there's no re what the fuck was this for yep what's your defense on that what's your oh this is a temporary it's not temporary and it's like yeah this feels um very targeted yeah targeted and like seemingly not thought through but i think it's very thought through and i want to know what you're thinking yep yep so i agree i agree with you wholeheartedly well that's it for the episode yay i wanted to tell you one fun fun exciting thing not that fun or exciting it's a tiktok that i just saw and i almost sent it to you while we were eating lunch and i said no i won't actually tell you it and then i'll send it to you and it is the miss teen usa pageant seemingly just happened and i want you

to know that miss teen arkansas showed up in a dress that is a walmart uniform ball gown with a sparkly state of arkansas behind her and i had to say go arkansas i like that was that when i saw the rest of what everyone else was wearing i said she took a different approach she kind of went looking camp right in the eye and other people were like i took inspiration from the colors of this or whatever and she said no i'm actually dressing up as a walmart employee and that's Great. And I will be employee of the month. Walmart is one of the biggest retailers in the world.

They are number one. I don't know why I said one of. They are the biggest retailer in the world based in northwest Arkansas, where I'm from. And pretty much everybody, you know, works for Walmart in some type of way. They're in the corporate or anybody, any company that sells things in Walmart has a corporate office there, too. so everybody's connected and i really appreciate that she did that her intro is hi miss arkansas miss arkansas usa and welcome to walmart and then you have uh alabama teen and she's a camellia camellia flower which is like their flower thing yeah um and then alaska miss

teen alaska is a snowflake arizona teen is a phoenix and then nebraska is a rodeo which i didn't know there are rodeos there and then colorado is a butterfly and i do have to give her props because she's actually wearing antennas and no one else seems to have um done that aspect it seems like we were going for headdresses not costumes but she's in a full-on antenna and she's also in a mini dress and i'm like loving it so i don't know how they placed but uh i'm high key obsessed with it and the whole vest is rhinestone and people are like oh my god they did that girl dirty and everyone's like no no i'm from arkansas and she did us right like this is a this is a big sleigh and i have to say as someone who's only been who's never lived there

i don't claim that as my home but i said this is a wonderful place it's kind of like disneyland i have to say i love this even though i was not allowed to try to perform when i was a child and the sticker the happy face is a sticker that they give children so like all this is great we've even got the little newer logo which is the butthole down at the bottom

this is incredible she almost looks like she's in stilts like it's so grand and so great and you know I think those kids are going to be alright so thank you for sharing Megan you're welcome

I'm happy I could share it with you because i thought of you immediately and you're the only reason why i popped my for you page let's be fucking real yeah that's fine okay anything else that's it okay well we hope you all enjoyed and as always you can vote for who you think was wrong in each episode in each segment for this episode uh on our instagram story so keep checking back keep asking questions um and you can vote and we'll read those results and then stay tuned tomorrow for see you next tuesday where we'll be reading the votes from a previous week thursday we've got don't blame me friday we have fisting friday where we're just chatting away and then we'll be right back here

on monday for another episode of but am i wrong and we'll circle back but am i wrong is a production by me megan ranks and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson