Don't Blame Me! - BAIW CLASSIC: Money on the Brain

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Original Air Date: Aug 11th 2022 For But Am I Wrong Melisa: Plantations shouldn't be considered a vacation getaway Meghan: The wedding industry is a rip-off In But Am You Wrong they if listeners ...were wrong in the following situations: Boyfriend left a trip with friends to visit his mom A friend who always brings up money And in But Are They Wrong AKA "Rachel of The Week" they nominate Melisa nominates GOP Representative Glen Thompson Meghan nominates a Np.Miranda Write In: butamiwrongpod@gmail.com Weigh In: Vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales. Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Hear that? It's your money calling.
Starting point is 00:00:35 It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. hello and welcome to another beautiful fantastic amazing episode of but am i wrong starring two
Starting point is 00:01:20 people who have never once not ever been wrong scientific fact ish yeah it is everything is factual uh related factually related factually adjacent uh-huh my name is megan and my name's melissa and together we are the two devils on your shoulder we are doing this episode virtual we know we said that we would be in person neither of us have covid yeah i was just i had a friend in town this weekend so we're just being precautious we are they're taking precautions i should say i do think though that everybody should watch the video because we both look so cute today we do look at us our hair is done we've got necklaces like we're really we've turned it out we both got shimmery
Starting point is 00:02:25 eyeshadow on like it's a sight to see so head on over to the patreon kind of like a beacon put us on like those prayer candles are they called prayer candles i think i mean that's like a catholic thing but i think that's what they're called yeah so maybe that's what we do for some our next that would actually be kind of good i had some golden girls once at one point oh that's fun welcome to another episode of but am i wrong or if you are new here welcome for the first time we are so happy to have you to give you a lowdown on what this show is it is a show where two people who like we say at the beginning have never been wrong tell you our listeners um when you've been wrong when the current events pop culture people in the zeitgeist when they are being wrong and we
Starting point is 00:03:19 also do nominate our own personal lives bringing up things have we been wrong in this situation that's happening currently or we also will do some hot takes past hot takes include the scam of big milk sprinkles to paper and i want to say the person that tagged us in this sprinkles video on tiktok of that girl eating those sprinkles ban yourself for like a week from voting i don't have any other way of punishing you i missed that one but you know which one i did see that i think was in the facebook group that someone tagged me in it was someone making like you know like you know rolled ice cream they were doing that with pepto bismol in honor of pink sauce i was like this is disgusting you know i have a queasy stomach why would you send it well if you have a queasy stomach
Starting point is 00:04:09 get you some pepto ice cream no no no i will i will always and forever take pepto pills and i'm still mad that they're not coated like i understand it's because they're fast acting that's why we do the powdery ones but i don't like it i do not like it are you able to eat pepto because i know some people that have like reactions to pineapple can't do pepto hold up i like rarely ever do pepto because like you know pepto is for people who like once in a while have an upset tummy it's like not for people with like chronic stomach problems but it like never really like works that well and usually when things don't work well it's because they have an ingredient that like i don't do well with but i wonder i i can't even swallow the liquid one so i wonder if the powder
Starting point is 00:04:57 is still like that but maybe i don't know i this is an opposite i don't know if there's anything medically behind it but i know three people in my personal lives that can't do pineapple and they also cannot do pepto and one of them found out because they ate a pineapple and then they took pepto and their whole tongue turned black shut the fuck up yeah pep pineapple pepto peptobismol oh my god there is an inner oh my god this is really medically written some but there's a link yeah i guess if someone made peptobismol popsicles or are they just describing it as like the look because that's not what i want in general okay one is whoa this is a scientific journal i cannot read that i mean i've never found that it really like works
Starting point is 00:05:48 for me but i can't do any like i can swallow give me a fucking horse pill i will swallow that shit you tell me to take a sip of pepto bismol or nyquil dake cannot pepto already starts dissolving as soon as the it hits your tongue it starts dissolving which understand why but like same with imodium imodium there's does the same i i really should have pretended like i didn't know that so quickly i knew that you would know it uh imodium works a lot better than pepto from a diarrhea girly i just can't it's not even like the taste for me it's like the viscous it's the consistency the liquid like i i don't even like oil-based like salad dressings like i don't love when it's like i don't like that feeling in my mouth i don't like that coating on my tongue
Starting point is 00:06:40 i don't like how thick it is when people were doing oil pulling for their teeth that's like actually my worst nightmare and if it was like water i could do it but i think it also has to do with like alcohol is like a thick kind of like coating feeling but i've always hated it it doesn't do anything so yeah but i just like disgusting absolutely disgusting well i'm glad we had that all the way um let us know in the comments on our last instagram post are you a pepto or are you an imodium let us know and if you have like a different one something that's like even better well i would love to hear it but they're also different medicines like imodium like more so just like tightens things up
Starting point is 00:07:29 and pepto cools your stomach but does it i'm just saying that's they're different medicines that's what it's supposed to do like it's supposed to just make your stomach feel better and then imodium is supposed to just tighten the shit up literally i want to know if anyone takes pepto and is like i'm not queasy anymore because like that just is not maybe it just your your brain's tricked into like i'm not queasy from that one thing but now this medicine is in me because i'm like i feel like it's so counterproductive maybe you're right we're just like transferring the responsibility onto a different agent so it's like oh it worked because pain medicine doesn't stop like tylenol doesn't stop the pain it just blocks the receptors
Starting point is 00:08:14 from receiving the signals for pain yeah and then anti-inflammatory ones so those are they stop the inflammation which then stops the pain yeah that is true that's why when i was still getting my period that was it's recommended that you alternate between like a tylenol and an ibuprofen each time because it you know targets both parts yeah i was like oh that's nice anyways one of our personal favorite parts about this podcast is you know despite it being leo season and us both having perfectly compatible birth charts and zodiac signs it is technically all about what's that other thing called oh our human design and our human design you did it on a different podcast and I just get a text being like what time were you born and where were you born
Starting point is 00:09:05 and I was like are you like I already have our birth charts like what are you doing you're just send it to me I was like okay and I sent it to you and you're like just as my like my suspicions were correct and you send me the whole breakdown that we have like the same human design and as I was reading I was like what is this bullshit and I was like oh wow this is us like this is this is does this makes a lot of sense that's so funny so which one are we i don't know my general remember generate yeah it was generator was part of it but it was something else another word that was with generating yeah i remember i listened to uh cammy crawford her podcast i listened to an episode that they talked like human design on there and i was just like like you know i usually
Starting point is 00:09:49 do as like big leo season where i'm like let me skip ahead where you talk about me and i was just waiting i was like just like i want them to say that it's like rare or unique or like these people like are just so amazing like people are just drawn to them wonderful personalities and like so hot i'm like wow that's so crazy that that's me i would have never guessed yes i would have guessed and i do want to say i did go look at our um shared birth chart thing to see if your birthday and place was already on there but i couldn't see it so i did my research first before i reached out i mean hey you know you go straight to the source you have the access and i am more than willing and able to give my information in order for people to send me things that just
Starting point is 00:10:35 talks all about me like that's truly like when people like oh you're really into astrology i'm like no no i'm like really into like myself and like things that tell me about myself and like talking about me so yes it checks out that i'm a leo but like i will take anything that is like what is your like number like what is your blah blah blah i'm like okay good who cares if it's real or not like it's just fun you know yep anyways all of that was my lead up to saying because it's not technically all about us we do share the wealth because we have all of you our listeners vote on each episode who you thought who you think who you thunk who you thought was wrong on each episode so that's on our instagram these episodes go up on thursday and the votes
Starting point is 00:11:22 go up before monday usually friday unless i'm at a wedding or unless we have a large spectrum outage that lasted 29 hours. That happened to you? Uh-huh. What day? Friday? Friday through all of no almost 48 hours like it was like I think started Friday morning and then Sunday it came back for a little bit and then it was gone again and then ours was just off so I had to reset our modem and our router and I think I did that on Sunday. I wonder if mine went out when i wasn't at home because i did all my alexis weren't working but it had to be brief because it was working before i left and then after but then when i came home none of my alexis were working i had to reset them well it would make sense i'm pretty sure it was a decently large outage so
Starting point is 00:12:15 anyways it is up you only have 24 hours to vote so we also ask that if you vote wrong well we do ask that you read them all first before you actually start tippa tapping with those thumbs or whatever finger you're using before you vote. Or two. Ew. Or if you vote with the, oh my God, if you vote with the minority opinion, we like to know so we can like read those things out loud
Starting point is 00:12:41 because sometimes people have different insights or thought process than us. Shall we kick it off? We shall. And we kick it off with this one. Me, Melissa. Teachers having to make wish lists. Who was wrong?
Starting point is 00:12:56 1% said I was wrong. 99% said I was not wrong. We had a lot of teachers that wrote in expressing their gratitude, but also like, thank y'all for doing what you do. And I'm again, apologize on behalf of the government who does not adequately put our money to where it needs to go. Because the government doesn't pay for anything we do as a society because it's all tax money. So sorry, it doesn't get allocated to you. Someone made a great point. I think it was either on a Facebook group or in a message that they aren't a teacher, but they grew up with a parent who is a teacher. And so that's also affected that like when they need new office supplies, they just buy them themselves. And like
Starting point is 00:13:39 their coworkers are like, you know, that work will pay for this. And they had no idea. And like their whole thing is like, oh, I'll just I mean, I'll do this myself. Like this is what I need to do my job and it like has very much skewed their perspective on that and then realizing that what they you know what you need in your job to operate your job there's some like bonus things and things that would be nice and helpful and then recognizing that these large corporations can provide that for their employees but schools can't because they don't have the funding okay then we have me and my hot take was there's leah michelle in every group seven percent said i was wrong all seven of those votes are from leah michelle and 93 said i was not wrong this i have the official here i'm
Starting point is 00:14:29 gonna have to turn my phone off of airplane mode for a second but someone commented on a video of someone else talking about the video that i talked about and they were like oh my god look you've you've made an impact and i was like no it's that other person so i did find their username lena potts l-e-n-a p-o-t-t-s and it's lena dot from dot tart t-a-r-t they did the original video and i'm really happy to see this becoming like a trend on tiktok where people are talking about their own and it's so funny yeah i really loved it somebody wrote in and said the people that are saying megan are wrong are the leah michelle's of their group they're the leah michelle's of our audience and it's like not what you want to be and then we have writer number one versus her
Starting point is 00:15:23 boyfriend who apologizes too soon nine percent said the writer is wrong and 91 percent said the boyfriend's wrong agree solidly agree yeah and we have writer number two versus the friend who may not have invited the writer's boyfriend to their wedding. 67% said writer is wrong. 33% said friend is wrong. And they responded. So this is me. I have a few answers to your questions. The invite didn't come in an envelope. And then there were no names on all of the invites. Just as a sidebar, that is horrific wedding etiquette. Like that's so bad. Like if I was a guest, that's actually like not it. Like that's so bad. Don't do that to people. There was no RSVP numbers.
Starting point is 00:16:08 I just sent an email to RSVP. There was no indication of who the invite was to. My entire family, mom, dad, brother, were invited, so she just dropped it to our house by hand. I wasn't home when she did this. There was nothing. My mom didn't even feel the need to RSVP. I was about to say, it says mom, so please use the correct dialect.
Starting point is 00:16:26 My mom. My mom didn't even need to RSVP. As it was just expected, we would all be there no matter what. They also sent invites to my auntie, uncle, and grandparents as they see my family as their family too they can't come unfortunately due to living overseas but just quote unquote as a courtesy sent them an invite with the table seating that melissa mentioned as i said before my entire family was invited too i think i forgot to mention this in my submission you guys definitely change my perspective on this though and i appreciate
Starting point is 00:16:50 your kind words and positivity i didn't consider the awkwardness and it was definitely selfish of me only for only to consider the benefits to me that is such a weird invite like that's you have to be specific because that's just so many people like what if your brother does your brother have someone that they were gonna burn like you know yeah it seems like it's a family friend one it's just like a friend like yeah i mean i know that the the writer themselves is a close friend but it's also in addition to family friend they have a tighter budget which it seems but they still should have addressed who was invited to the wedding yeah it does make me think though that that was like a family invite and not a family plus a partner like plus a couple kind of thing
Starting point is 00:17:39 I will say we also got a lot of messages from people who were like I've been the plus one at a wedding where my partner was in the wedding party and like it's the least amount of fun ever like it's just so awkward and like stressful and they feel a responsibility to try and hang out with me and so then they're ditching the bridal party and then I feel uncomfortable and then there's times when they're not doing that and then I'm alone and I don't even want them to ditch because it makes it even more awkward, but there's just kind of no winning. And in thinking about your own comfort and fun makes total sense, but in the large scheme on the day, it'll also just kind of be a headache. Yeah. So then we've got wrong of the week and mine was people that
Starting point is 00:18:20 constantly take private jets short distances. Who was wrong? 99% said private jetters are wrong and one percent said private jetters are not wrong also there are no exceptions to this like that's like people have been messaging with like taylor swift with like anyone i thought that that was not an unpopular thought process to be like i don't make exceptions for these things that i don't like for specific people like we talked about on the episode that it's like when it comes to touring i don't put the onus on artists for that i put the onus on these touring companies who do this because they're trying to make as much money as humanly possible and they're completely just running artists dry in like the the fact we're gonna make you do this so then you can sleep like
Starting point is 00:19:07 the amount of times that i've had work stuff but the only reason that they send me to a work thing that i have to travel for first class is because it's a lie flat bed and they expect me to sleep for the entire duration of the flight and then i'm up i land at 7 a.m and i'm in i'm driving straight to hair and makeup and like that's what they expect and you know it is what it is that's not my choice and so i feel the same about you know when it's touring companies and things like that but i don't have exceptions for certain people doing it than others like yeah you know jeffrey epstein i'm like depends on what you're flying to sure i think there's a hierarchy of crimes maybe if you're flying to commit a crime but like you know climate crimes are still a
Starting point is 00:19:52 massive issue like that doesn't change depending on who's doing it and nor does it depend on you know if it's an individual versus an individual loaning out their plane like there's just too many and like this is just it's an unnecessary thing especially when you use it as a means of travel the same way that people do cars it's not an exception it's not an emergency it's not there's a medical emergency you need to get somewhere really quickly it's not uh once in a blue moon it is a regular and viable and your primary source of travel that's a huge issue it just is you know and i have an issue with leonardo di caprio doing it too but like he also does a lot of wonderful stuff for climate change and i think that like you can offset your carbon footprint
Starting point is 00:20:40 And I think that, to be fair, since he's gotten publicly shamed for using private jets, he's used them a hell of a lot less. And so I hope what comes from this is people are embarrassed and now know that people are paying attention and they do it less because I don't think that it's realistic to assume everybody's going to completely stop. But I think if we defend and justify why people use them regularly, then they have no incentive to decrease their carbon footprint. And that's what they need to do. Oh, and someone did bring up that lives in the area that Kylie Jenner is. And they did bring up that her plant or something for her makeup is over where whatever it is. But they weren't excusing it. They were just saying that's why she's going in that direction. it still doesn't make sense but no i guess also there's another rumor that they think that it's
Starting point is 00:21:35 just that's where they park that because the daily fee of parking and storing private jets is cheaper there than any la airport okay it's like parking in the whole foods parking lot instead of the grove like oh okay so you're just gonna make it worse for everyone oh yeah for to save a couple dollars okay when you have endless money cool cool okay okay all right your turn my wrong of the week is makes me nauseous just looking at the fucking picture i know i had to like turn it off i know i'm covering with my fingers it's the pink sauce lady 98 said pink sauce lady is wrong two percent said pink sauce lady is not wrong and i would like to issue a little bit of an update she went on live and worse she's gotten y'all she has gotten so much worse
Starting point is 00:22:34 you know when people are just like so loud and so wrong pair that with like in the context of food safety like it's just like really like alarming she got on live and was addressing people's questions about fda involvement and she said it's not a drug the fda has nothing to do with this why would i have the fda involvement at all and you literally see her like reading the comments of everyone going what do you think the f and fda stands for and her just looking at it and just scrolling right past it so it's so bad that even uber facts the twitter account was like trolling her saying the f it was like fat the f in fda stands for food it's so bad and a lot of people were like i think that she's wrong but i also think that like both parties are wrong
Starting point is 00:23:27 like people who are buying it are wrong because like how are they being so dumb i just want to reiterate that nobody is buying i mean there might be there's a very small small percentage of people who are maybe buying this lady's bullshit and i mean like buying what she's saying uh but the people who are buying it right now are trying to get an early and an early class action lawsuit like that's literally why people have said that they're buying it but also she like doesn't have them you're not going to get any money because she's not making any money off of this one and then two that wasn't the what was being voted why like that wasn't the thing that was printed and then also three twenty dollars for a bottle of any sauce is ridiculous unless it is a super super
Starting point is 00:24:09 size super super super size bottle that you're having a big event or you work in a restaurant and you're using a lot of there's no reason to be spending $20 on a regular salad dressing bottle of anything I don't even want to spend
Starting point is 00:24:25 $20 on like avocado oil like I'm like no no no let's get that cheap shit like you see that $40 bottle of like olive oil at the store I'm not buying that like I'm gonna go to the Embarcadero in San Francisco for the free samples and I'm just gonna go I mean to be fair I actually really hate the taste of olive oil
Starting point is 00:24:42 but like if I'm gonna get expensive olive oil I'm just going to like Costco sample that shit like what she's so loud and so wrong and it's like actually like so embarrassing yeah it's just so bad so bad you know what I really want to know this is disgusting and I don't want photos I just want like a description with like a lot of trigger warnings ahead of it i want to know what the poops are like afterwards they gotta be pink they gotta be like streaky pink but also because like it's bad it's gotta be diarrhea too like if it's rancid i'm pretty sure it's like relatively fatty and like what fat does to your it's just there are certain things that pass through your body that kind of maintain the intake their
Starting point is 00:25:30 original integrity and some of those things are like the corn things that aren't necessarily being digested all the way so like the top the corn not the kernels but like whatever the outside shell of the kernel is and then also fatty fat thing like fatty things like they hold together and bind together so like i would not be surprised if it's or seeing some pink and i think dragon fruit even like beets turn your like poop red like so i just i'm sure it's so bad i feel like it's gonna look the same going out I think about how when I and this may be TMI but when I was in like fourth grade my mom made some carrot cake and it was so good and I ate so much of it and carrot cake is so oily and when it came out I said never I will never again gorge myself on a food because it
Starting point is 00:26:21 was just orange and greasy it's greasy it's like alarming you're like whoa oh my gosh this is like it's like you've spring yeah it's bad it's bad it's like an oil drizzling on burrata like oil drizzle like you're just like mrs i don't like to see this like that yeah oh gross gross gross gross gross well i mean to be fair if there is a class action lawsuit there's definitely going to be some evidence of this is what it does there's a ton of evidence like she should just be quiet yeah i was gonna say this also means that heinz is never going to bring back their green ketchup like it's just like green and purple they sold so much of it that the reason why they stopped selling it is because they stole so much they sold so much and they couldn't keep up with demand
Starting point is 00:27:09 it wasn't because people weren't buying it well i wasn't allowed to buy it and i so badly wanted there's like a list of things absolutely disgusting yeah same but like they're on my deathbed i'm just going to be like before i go out i'm going to eat like everything i've ever wanted to and if i die while vomiting and shitting then i die doing what i spent a lot of my life doing and you get to go out enjoying things too yeah i would go out with a splash literal yeah there was just a lot of weird things at that time do you remember how they when they were putting i don't know if they still do it but it was like a big thing where they're putting like peanut butter and jelly in the same jar do you remember that vaguely i think so was it kind of like swirled
Starting point is 00:27:57 it wasn't swirled it was striped it was striped like it was like a stripe of peanut butter and stripe of jelly stripe peanut butter stripe of jelly yeah i think i do remember that but it's like when you make a one when you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the consistent you usually put more peanut butter than jelly so the ratios were off and then two it just ended up getting mushed together anyway so nobody wants when you have a peanut butter and jelly you want to taste the separate layers but if it's mixed together it's different different flavor also peanuts are such a strong flavor that i'm sure the jelly would then be peanut flavored jelly and like you don't have enough of the the distinction i remember the frozen meals with
Starting point is 00:28:39 the little penguin oh yeah remember that that i always wanted so badly i always wanted it and my parents were like no no no and then like i begged so much and i got it and it was absolutely disgusting and they were like that's what we were trying to tell you oh oh chef boyardee those come i was like this i want great commercials terrible food oh i bet what else did i want i wanted oh twinkies ho-hos oh i still love a ho-ho i mean they seem great i don't like twinkies but a ho-ho oatmeal cream pie those look way better all right let's take a break we'll be back We'll be right back. learn more. Scotiabank. You're richer than you think.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And we're back. We're back. So our first segment is, but am I wrong, where we each pitch to each other current things that we are dealing with in our lives situations or hot takes and we decide if we are wrong or not all right so my first thing it's not like something specifically for my life it might be a hot take to some i think for the majority of our listeners probably not and mine is that plantations should only serve as a historical landmark and monument for the past or a museum and nothing else. There shouldn't be weddings there. There shouldn't be parties there. And most certainly former slave quarters should not be considered a luxury vacation rental. So first I want to start with like the word plantation itself. I feel like
Starting point is 00:31:07 people like from things like Gone with the Wind, they think of like the antebellum time and romanticize the word plantation. And there's like this connotation of this like rich, luxe, beautiful, like sprawling mansion. And don't think of like how this was a place where murder happened, where rape happened, where forced labor happened, where people were kidnapped from their homelands and brought here or where like families were torn apart plantations are just like former forced labor camps where people were brutalized and black people specifically were brutalized and murdered in the millions and there's actually no like record of how many people actually died and they're not a place for parties and so some quote-unquote wedding venues have
Starting point is 00:32:06 started to rethink this and their participation in weddings and holding weddings on plantations but like it's still happening I mean one of our favorite celebrities Ryan Reynolds had his wedding there a while ago him and Blake Lively but since then he says that it's something we'll always deeply regret and we are unreservedly sorry for. And he explained that he is learning and continuing to learn from his mistake, donated $200,000 to the NAACP and vowed to raise their children to be anti-racist and critical thinkers and apologize. But this is still happening. And then this week it was brought to the attention from a guy on TikTok named Wynton Yates that said that he and his family were researching places to stay in Mississippi on Airbnb and came across this listing at the Pantherburn Cottage that boasted a suite with exquisite antique furnishing, soft linens, and a brand new bathroom and access to Netflix on the smart TV. This property was a 1830s slave cabin that housed enslaved people at a plantation in
Starting point is 00:33:30 Greensville, Mississippi. And what this does is that it downplays this disgusting part of U.S. history that still has a large impact on us today. I mean, I think like people don't even realize how far slavery in this country even goes back like on the Mayflower, there were even 20 enslaved Africans that were brought over by the British colonies against their will. And so Airbnb has since come out and said that properties that formerly housed the enslaved have no place on Airbnb and apologize for any trauma or grief created by the presence of this listing and others like it. And we did not act
Starting point is 00:34:17 And they also apologized for not acting sooner to address the issue. And then the person that owns the property said that they took over ownership of the property last month and said in a statement to the Washington Post that even though the building had been a doctor's office and not a quarters for enslaved people, which still, like I said, plantations shouldn't be a place where people are using it as a vacation destination. the previous owner's decision to market the building as the place where the slaves once slept, which is even more disgusting. The new owner said that he strongly opposed the previous owner's decisions and vowed to provide guests with a historically accurate portrayal of the life at the Belmont plantation. Once again, why are people staying here? And he also said, I am not interested in making money off slavery. Yes, you are, or else it wouldn't be put on airbnb and he said that i'm and he apologized for insulting african americans whose ancestors were in were slaves absolutely disgusting and so um this is kind of like lighter note kind of funny
Starting point is 00:35:29 but also not but and this happened in 2000 or in 2015 this black man was he had a company retreat like his the company he worked for had a retreat at a plantation and so they were uh on the last day were having a banquet a costume ball at the plantation and said to dress up in costumes that were of the period of the time and he also was the only black person that worked at this company and so he showed up because he knew that they weren't thinking about this so he showed up dressed as an enslaved person and everyone just like gasped and were offended and then the party was immediately canceled and so he was at first like reprimanded for it saying that like why didn't he bring this up to the company sooner and i'll read a direct because he posted this
Starting point is 00:36:30 on twitter and posted like picture proof of what happened and he said currently on not twitter on Reddit. He said, currently on the phone with boss in HR was wondering why the call wasn't with the boss in HR chick I deal with all the time. I now know why I am dealing with the head of HR and not the usual chick. LOL, normal HR chick is the person I expected to hear from. Wasn't her because the damn party was her dumb ass idea. She has been canned. I have been promoted with a disproportionate raise and better bennies but i have been assured that this has nothing to do with anything that happened on the retreat and just happens to coincide with hr assistant director canning so remember kids correlation does not directly equal causation wow wow yeah i mean i
Starting point is 00:37:24 even think about it like in a sense of the words that we we use that like plantation like sounds like flowery so does antebellum like i didn't even know what antebellum meant until i don't know when was matt's i know not even then like i just i thought it was like a made-up word i didn't i assumed her last name was antebellum like i'd never even heard of the word until matt's season of the bachelor when that girl rachel fitting rachel it came out that she went to like an antebellum themed party and i had no idea what that even meant because like i assumed it was a last name it sounds kind of like a flowery word and that's like the whitewashing of like how we speak about history and that stuff that it's like oh we don't have like the actual serious
Starting point is 00:38:13 terminal like along with it in those conversations because like you know the anti-critical race theory and everything and that just leads to bad history american history for people and like when it comes to weddings and stuff a lot of places have vowed to no longer have plantations but so they just list them as private estates yeah and it's like still the same thing and like the aspects of people thinking that oh well there are certain maybe there are bad things that happened in certain parts of this place but not in all of them as if like the trauma is not surrounding like the entire industry of whatever we were like no it was just like it was a rice farm it was just like they were just doing this i'm like you what do you mean like that you think that like against their will
Starting point is 00:38:58 yeah like that's you no no no no no no and like it's the easiest fucking first step of reparations as like white people in america is do we should not be able to privately white people privately own plantations those should just default go to descendants and then whatever the fuck you want to do with them you shouldn't have any moral or like legal obligation to have it be like a museum or anything that involves like carrying the burden of educating people and like what you could you should be able to like sell it if you want to tear it down like do whatever the fuck you want to do with it but the fact that like we're always going to have this issue if we are allowed to own that that's like and we view we view it so differently than we do international
Starting point is 00:39:50 like genocides and we would be appalled if like there were private citizens owning other places of genocide and abuse and like you think about how we talk about epstein's island and that shit but like when it happens here it it people just it can't be it cannot be that bad i'm gonna try and pull up this reddit post that i saw that i thought you were going to mention but it was basically a post it was like a screenshot of someone who had left a review on a tour oh of i saved it on twitter actually oh maybe is that where i saw it but it was basically like this woman and her husband who went to uh like a historical tour of a plantation like a museum and all of that and she was really upset because it was i don't even remember the exact terminology
Starting point is 00:40:49 that she used but it was like they were it was just to make white people feel bad and they were like it was just so negative and there was like they weren't talking about any of the positive stuff and then people were commenting being like i used to like i like led a tour at a place like this and the number one question i would get was can we talk about the good slave owners like thomas jefferson like he was a good slave owner and he was like there are no good slave owners like the owning slaves is inherently bad and it's always bad and he's like that was like the number one thing that people would bring up yeah i remember and this was in english it was actually an english class and i don't even know how we got on this subject but this white woman said
Starting point is 00:41:34 that the foods that the enslaved people had were like the leftovers but they were actually like the healthier leftovers that that were good and like they were actually more nourished and like she got up and said this with her whole chest which tells me someone taught this to her as something as fact and it was just a lie and then there was actually a black woman in the class that was actually got into nutrition for the specific reason of how black diets from enslavement times were like the leftover scraps that had been and then how that kind of has trickled down to the health problems that black people people face now and she just like the way she got up and i would i didn't have the facts to say something but this woman did have the facts to say something and
Starting point is 00:42:31 just like shut the room down and it was beautiful wow yeah that i mean you're you're so not wrong at all and this is something that for a lot of people might feel like not attached to their life whatsoever but it does like if you get an invite to a wedding and if you're in an area like to be fair like mass amount there's parts all over the country but specifically if you're getting a wedding invite in the south look up where that is because a lot of these places are rebranding as being private estates and if you are a guest of a wedding don't attend like there are like things that it can you can come across and it can happen and when you're planning weddings there is a huge difference between ignoring our history and then uh trying to rewrite it and celebrate something
Starting point is 00:43:26 that has never been appropriately or justly addressed at all and like it is not white people saying to move past it and deciding like well no now like let's make we should make this a celebrate like let's turn this to something positive like when there hasn't been any justice for the atrocities that we as white people and our ancestors committed for years and years and years and years and it still affects today so you are not wrong it does lead in to the And it leads into my, but am I wrong, that mine is very superficial. The only tie-in is weddings. And I have been debating making this my, but am I wrong, for a long time.
Starting point is 00:44:15 I think that weddings are kind of like a drug that people get addicted to and love and are so obsessed with. but mine is that weddings are stupid and a complete ripoff and a scam and not just the wedding industry but the fact that I don't mean like not just the wedding industry but like what the wedding industry has done to our psyche if anybody is like frequent on reddit or even like hell like listening to our podcast and hearing all of the crazy stuff that becoming a bride or a room or a part of a wedding does to your brain like i would love like i know we study athletes brains after they die for like i would like to study people who are obsessed with their own like spending millions of dollars for their wedding doing x y and z for their wedding i would like
Starting point is 00:45:03 to study their brain and the effects like we're studying the effects of video games on brains i would like to study the effects of pinterest weddings and wedding culture on people's brains I have stumbled upon a TikTok account where this person reviews weddings that are like on Vogue and reviews like wedding stuff in general which has led me to be on wedding TikTok and I've also joined a bunch of like subreddits because like Mats and I had like you know are we going to do like a smaller kind of cheaper wedding planning a wedding that's under five thousand dollars is a full-time job is absolutely wild to me that you have to take on this much brain power and like bartering with people and like sacrificing all of this stuff. And then if you talk to anybody
Starting point is 00:45:51 who's planned a wedding, they say, oh, it was like the worst experience of my life, like planning a wedding. Like I'm so stressed. You know, people who like have to go on anti-anxiety medication exclusively because they're wedding planning. People who I learned about wedding loans, where if they can't afford something then their wedding planner will suggest to take out a wedding loan which is an incredible it's like a student loan incredibly high interest predatory loan and in general anyone who's telling you to put a massive purchase on a credit without like having the actual funds it's so sketchy and then people talk about how they fight constantly with their partner the entire time they're getting married like it's so stressful and i watched this video
Starting point is 00:46:27 of this girl who was talking about everything that went wrong at her wedding and she was like i it's been like a couple months i've processed it processed it and i can like discuss it now and like i'm okay with it and like a lot of the stuff was like major like they played the wrong first dance song like they like didn't do a bunch of stuff that they were supposed to do and she still spent like probably a quarter of a million dollars on this thing that she like had to process for months afterwards because so like these things didn't go right and people in the comments were like, oh my gosh, like mine was like the same way. Like this thing went wrong. That was like so much worse. And then people have just had to be conditioned that it's like, you know, there's
Starting point is 00:47:07 always something that's going to go really, really wrong on your wedding day. Like it just is what it is. And I'm like, you spent two years planning this thing. Like this is essentially your full time job. All you do is do this. You've been fighting with your partner constantly. Like it's just so unhappy. Like it is just the most stressful time ever. And then you tell people to manage their expectations because it's not going to go how you want. After you've put all this money and all of this like mental stuff that it's like, why are we doing this? Like why? Why are we doing this knowing that it's going to be so horrific and brutal? And then people talk about the very real thing, which I'm pretty sure has been studied, is the like when they people
Starting point is 00:47:45 recommend going on immediately your honeymoon afterwards or a mini moon or something because people go into depression after their wedding is over because it's been building up to this thing and building up to this thing that it's all riding on this one day. And then you essentially have like a post ecstasy crash that then affects your mental health. And people like do these videos talking about like what to expect, like the reality of wedding planning. And I'm hearing people talk about this. And instead of being like something needs to change, it's how do we adjust for this? And now we are like knowingly and willingly going into psychological and financial trauma for this and it blows my fucking mind i would love to like a find a documentary that talks
Starting point is 00:48:33 about like the history of like how this happened and how this came up because in other cultures i that is like a tip like so not what i'm talking about like when there's like very like sacred religious ceremonies or like really large like cultural things i'm specifically talking about like the the kind of like movieification like the the commodification is that like the modification of like wedding culture as like not as like a ceremony but as like an aesthetic like as an event as like a party as a life event that is about like uh centerpieces and it's about that stuff like it's not about like the the tradition and religious aspects of it it's about the fact that there are now wedding trends where people are making videos being like wedding trends that
Starting point is 00:49:20 will be dead in two years and it's like the trend cycle is now applied to a ceremony in which is like you're with who you're gonna end up with and it's this like romantic thing that it we now equate that with uh a wedding with marriage and i just feel like not to sound like i'm not like other girls but like i just feel like i'm in a glass box screaming and i'm like how are we all not seeing this and like how are we all accepting this and like just seeing these people talk about the effects on their mental health that this has had and they're like well i really thought i just i am i like prepared for this because i knew but like i really like i couldn't prepare for how hard it was going to be and it just like makes me so sad that it's like societally we've made this be
Starting point is 00:50:01 just like a fact that we just kind of have to deal with because it's what you do and it doesn't have to be at all and it just like it blows my mind and i really hope that it's there are things that like really change with it my theory if anybody cares is as house prices have increased I think that the pressure we put on weddings is also increased because home ownership has gotten more and more far off for a lot of people and the next thing that is can be as expensive or almost as expensive as a home is a wedding and so it feels like a lot of people are being like well, I'm not going to be able to buy a home. So we might as well put that money into a wedding. And I've heard people who have said that, like, oh, like, are you opting for like when Mott's
Starting point is 00:50:52 and I, we literally had a conversation of like, we're going to do a house. We were like, oh, yeah, we chose a wedding. And like, it just feels like that has been our response to like the late stage capitalism of being like, oh, everything is so expensive. So now we're romanticizing like corporations and these companies and the wedding industry. We're romanticizing how important a wedding is because home ownership is unattainable, even though a wedding financially should also be considered unattainable. Like if you can't afford it, that so sucks. But like, why is there all this pressure that you should be, you have to do this. And this is like a tradition that like is like, I thought that too, that that was something that I
Starting point is 00:51:33 would have to do. And I thought that's what it meant. But like now that we've been engaged for a while and I like look at the prices of things that makes me sad like that makes me like I would be sad spending that money and I don't want to be sad about getting married do what I mean like even by proxy yeah my theory is that part of it starts when we're also like little girls and people say what do you what have you always fantasized that your wedding would look like and no one talks about like what is an ideal partner for you it's always like the fantasy that's surrounded and not the actual importance of what the day should be about and then we have shows like bridezilla that emphasizes that or even that show that newer show that was on
Starting point is 00:52:24 netflix where i forgot it was a mortgage or marriage i think that was the name where people would did you not hear about this show no yeah so people would go on and it would be like the wedding planner would propose like this is how much it would cost for you to get your dream wedding and then this is how much it would cost for you to you know get your dream house or your their house that you can you can afford to buy right now and most people chose the wedding instead of the mortgage and that's a new show like i think it came out last year mods knows someone who was offered a three million dollar house or three million dollar wedding and they picked the wedding ridiculous and that wasn't even now that was like years ago
Starting point is 00:53:14 so three million dollar house years ago it's you would have had a house you could sold for like 10 now yeah I know someone also there's two daughters and one of them opted for the wedding and one of them opted for the house and I'll just say their lives are that they live right now are very different I also think that like there is like without a doubt a part of me that like still has like you said that like that oh what's your dream wedding gonna be like there is this thing that we're like brought up like as little girls to like talk and think about that stuff but weddings also it's just wealth and money and just scams and capitalism and then the parts that they justify it with is a really dated version of a traditional and nuclear family and so there is no like when
Starting point is 00:54:06 you look at like so many wedding venues where people i like i'm on again like i said a bunch of like reddit wedding threads of people who are asking for help on how to reach out to a venue that doesn't list that they do lgbtqia weddings and it's like oh so this is only a magical princess experience for a select group of people and the same thing with like people who are not white in predominantly white areas asking for people do you have any recommendations of wedding planners like our last wedding planner was like incredibly racist and like all of this like it is not magical but it's also not even intended to be magical except for like a certain subset of people and as somebody who doesn't have like a traditional like family kind of thing like when you think
Starting point is 00:54:48 about the i wish like when we saw weddings and like tv and stuff it was a more about the marriage but then also like all these weddings look the same all these weddings have two parents and they have like this cookie cutter kind of hallmark-esque thing to them and that's not a lot of people's reality and so it is just this like the biggest othering thing in the world besides the price amount of it it's just why would anybody knowingly feel why would anybody why are we justifying putting yourself in a horrific mental state for something that is supposed to symbolize you're like the starting of a marriage like you're gonna you're starting this in debt and hating each other and then having like a literal come down from the serotonin and dopamine that
Starting point is 00:55:37 you had during this one day and it's just like i we i think we've normalized that and i don't know it's like so horrific to hear people talk about as if this is something that is we should be just like accepting i i hate it it's like really sad like you hear me like talk about like i didn't get out of bed for two weeks after my wedding because i was so depressed and i'm like oh my god what like there's there's ways to have small intimate or even weddings that you know could have a lot of people but they cost less money but like there's ways of doing it but i think it's become the show of it all the instagrammable it all it all like builds upon just like it's here for for show it's not for the love or whatever your marriage could not also be based on love
Starting point is 00:56:32 but whatever you base your marriage on and and instead just like a show for other people yeah it's like for other people's consumption and it's like really backwards that we've normalized it so much and i think a lot of people are ending up starting marriage is like really unhappy and like not in a good financial place and it's i don't know it's sad like people like have talked about like having people bring like potluck stuff and everyone's like oh my god you can't do that that's so tacky and it's just it's so elitist and it it's like we want people to suffer for the profit of other people even though like a lot of wedding vendors and like the people like the florists and all that stuff they're not necessarily rolling in dough but like it it's
Starting point is 00:57:18 like everybody's getting scammed and like who's actually winning in this situation right so i don't hate anyone or like look down upon anyone who had a wedding and like melissa said there's like ways to do any version of a wedding that you like want to do but i just i really hope that there is some like change in how it's kind of treated because i i think a lot of people go along with it that they and sacrifice their own well-being because it's what it's expected and I don't I don't know I don't like that the same way I don't like how we've just accepted that student loan debt that people should take on immense amounts of student loan debt as opposed to because we're so elitist that we think people should do that as opposed to going to like a trade
Starting point is 00:58:04 school or like going into the workforce and doing that like it just yeah it's like very much like oh this is the bad place yeah some yep you're not wrong time for a break hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more. Scotiabank, you're richer than you think. We're back. Now we're getting into, but are you wrong? And that's when you, our listeners, write in with the situation that's happening in your life. Then we share if you're wrong in the situation as well as our other listeners vote upon it and so please
Starting point is 00:59:19 when you write in you write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com and keep it to 300 words or less if it is more than 300 words you will get an email back that says please trim this down we don't joke about this so please do it and now the first one hi megan and melissa my boyfriend 23 he him and i 23 she her have been dating for nine months and we were at my friend's house with three of my other friends and their boyfriends for the long weekend we had planned to go to the beach go out to dinner drinks on the patio hang out and play games the first night we went to dinner my boyfriend found out his mom was camping nearby invite and she invited us for dinner he texted her that he was busy and was drinking so we couldn't drive later at dinner he asked if i would be fine if
Starting point is 01:00:10 he left for an hour by Uber to visit his mom. He doesn't live with her. I said I'd rather he didn't because he went all out at dinner and had planned to do stuff with us, with the eight of us, but I also didn't want to tell him what to do. I kind of shut down at that point because I was overwhelmed and anxious at the thought of him leaving me or leaving my friends because it wasn't something I had known about until a few hours ago. He then said that family is very important to him and he wouldn't want to pass up an opportunity to see them since they were so close by. But I said that we already had plans as a group and I wish he, I wish I had known about it earlier. I was kind of sad and didn't want to talk about anything and felt weird tension for the rest
Starting point is 01:00:58 of the evening. Am I wrong for being upset that he wanted to leave while we were out at dinner? so one thing that I want to make clear for everyone that writes in you're never wrong for feeling what you feel and now for this I want to know which you didn't put in here how often does he see his family like when was the last time that he saw them because I think that does play a role in this if he if y'all live close enough where he sees them like every you know couple weeks, then I would be mad about this. But if it was like, he hasn't seen them in like six months or a year, then I wouldn't be mad. And I think that's the difference. But then I'm also like, if family is important to him, how long, and y'all have only been dating for nine months.
Starting point is 01:01:51 If family is important to him, how often does he talk to his family? Because I know for me, Like I talk to my parents like multiple times a week, but then, but then I take that again. Then again, like my mom goes on a lot of work trips and she's like, Hey, I just landed in Atlanta. And I'm like, I didn't know you were going to Atlanta. So I take that back. So yeah, I think the most important thing to me is like, when was the last time he saw his family?
Starting point is 01:02:17 And also, have you met them before? I'm guessing if you've only been dating for nine months, probably not, because I think that the way that this could have made you feel less weird is if he had invited you to go with him. Like if it was like a quick thing, they're close by, we're going to be gone for a couple hours and then we'll rejoin the group. So these are my thoughts. I don't think that you're wrong for feeling the way that you feel, but I also need more information to better understand the situation. Yeah, I agree with you because like I will never understand when like I'm in New York and a friend of mine who's also in la is in new york and they're like oh my god we're in new york
Starting point is 01:02:57 let's get dinner and i'm like no like we can get dinner in la yeah like i hate and that happens all the fucking time and so that's like kind of where i'm like oh well yeah that i wouldn't do that but i also think that like i don't know i think if you just find out that like like you said like a parent or a family member even like a friend who you didn't know was nearby and presumably you're with people who you're spending a long weekend with an hour away out of that even if you're with if you're like out of town seeing friends who also live out of town and then there's a friend who happens to be in that town who's also an out-of-town friend to you i don't think that like if you have time i don't think like dividing up an hour to like make the effort with a different
Starting point is 01:03:47 relationship is bad at all. And like, I don't think it needs like ample like warning, especially if you don't have the warning for it. I think that when you're gone for a weekend, you do kind of just go you're on a time crunch. And so I don't think that that's bad at all. And I don't think that I think it'd be way, way, way ruder if someone was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm like here with friends for a long weekend. I can't. And it's like, you can't come drive like 10 minutes to see me when I like haven't seen you in all like so long and no offense to like your group trips or whatever but like unless you're backpacking with minimal service and like you're having to like divert your route and it's going to add on like five extra hours you know I mean like unless it's
Starting point is 01:04:34 like hard to continue doing what you're doing then I think that like dipping from dinner a little bit early after you've paid or like opting out of like a round of twister or something or like a game i don't think that that is bad at all and so i'm like melissa like i don't ever want to say anyone's like feelings are wrong but you're like am i wrong for being upset that he wanted to leave while we were at dinner i don't think he was wrong from the from the information we have i i don't think he was wrong for wanting to leave dinner to go see his mom also he asked you yeah i don't understand this one part where you said he texted her that we were busy and was drinking so we couldn't drive but then he ended up he was taking an uber anyway oh i guess she invited them for dinner
Starting point is 01:05:30 and they were already had dinner plans got it so to me it does seem like he is being considerate of like the group mentality of like oh we have dinner plans we're busy and then it's like oh i'm gonna solo dip out after dinner that doesn't seem like for an hour too like it it's just yeah i don't know i under i understand the like when you have to mentally prepare for things and you're like not spontaneous like hi that is literally me um but i do have to psychologically i do change my mindset when i travel or i'm doing things with groups of people because i will be you know i'll have to decompress after the trip but like i know i have to mentally prepare for the trip because i know the trip is not going to be uh the same routine that i have at home like it's it's going
Starting point is 01:06:17 to take a bit for me to get used to and i'm also going to have to deal with like more spontaneous stuff i feel like you're right though i do kind of got get the sense that like maybe the real catalyst of the feelings is that you weren't invited but it seems like that the writer she was invited for dinner the first time maybe he was just trying to be like hey since we're here since they're there i'm just gonna go yeah it seems like he was trying to do it quickly yeah but who knows maybe they live five minutes away and they see each other multiple times a day and he can like never say no to her and then in that case it's different we don't have that info mm-hmm so i guess our final verdict is a gentle i don't think he was wrong in this situation
Starting point is 01:07:02 but I don't think that you're wrong for feeling things but I think in this instance I don't think that he's at fault yeah okay hi Megan and Melissa my friend Sophia is a 38 year old female she her that has had a very successful career in data and analytics I'm a 40 year old female she heard that works in marketing and communications we've known each other since high school and lived in the same state until two years ago when I moved 16 hours away so my husband and I could start a new chapter in our personal and professional lives. Since then, Sophia and I usually chat every few months to catch up. Here's the thing. She always brings up how much money she makes. We just spoke a few days ago, and she mentioned she got a $15,000 raise and now makes a
Starting point is 01:07:43 quote-unquote decent amount of $150,000 a year. I think it's great she's doing well financially, especially since she's been through a lot in the past several years, but I get really annoyed when she brings up her money. Her salary is more than decent. Most of us don't even make that much money independently or in a combined household. I know I sure don't. When she said that in the conversation, I responded, I would say that $150,000 is more than decent. Most people don't make that in a year. So I would say you're doing better than decent. I don't think she brings up her money to brag about it, but I'm tired of hearing it in every conversation. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Here's the thing. We're not going to tell you that you're feeling wrong, but we will tell
Starting point is 01:08:21 you when you're not feeling and no this is obnoxious as fuck to me i like i'm all for paid transparency like i think that like we should be more open and honest with how much we're getting paid so we can then better advocate for raises within like our workplace and i don't think money is a taboo subject to like talk about like if at all like i think we should normalize conversations around money. Um, but this isn't like a conversation, like this is just, I'm telling you how much money I'm, I'm making. And I think that there's a way to like share exciting things in your life of being like, yeah, I'm really excited. Like just got a raise and I'm this, like, this is, this is great. And I think if you want to talk about your success with money
Starting point is 01:09:11 specifically, I don't know, part of me kind of goes to if you need other people's if you need external validation for your income, there's something else there that like that should be an excitement and great thing because the only lives it really changes are yours. And like that is not necessarily something that you need other people's praise on to know that like it's a good thing and like that's great. That is like a part of that for me. And then the other part is just like know your audience like if that's something that you want to talk to talk about with someone like you should probably do your due diligence and look up the average annual salary of the friends that you're talking to because those are two very different fields with very different
Starting point is 01:09:56 starting and average pay and it is just weird that the most interesting thing about you that you're going to constantly bring up is how much money you make like to me that just sounds like you're insecure and like in the sense of like that maybe this is the thing that like you have dedicated all of like your time and like for me a large portion of my young adult life like I did not really pursue any new friendships I didn't date I didn't do anything except for work and so like my only accomplishment was my financial accomplishments and like I don't know if I ever like did this to people I can't imagine that I did I've always felt very uncomfortable talking about. I am not good at math and I don't like talking about money, but like I definitely
Starting point is 01:10:38 attributed my value and worth to my finances when that was the only thing I was seeing my worth towards. But like now I can distribute that amongst a couple of things. And this might just be where her entire focus has been. And I think it's a natural result that if all you put all of your time and energy into your work that you don't have enough time to like literally do anything else. that is where the only place in your life that you, not the only place, but it's really easy to then have that be the sole thing that you pertain to your value as a person, you know? Yeah. I think for me, my thought process is I'm trying to just get to the root of why they talk to this, talk about it. So I'm wondering either did they grow up with money or didn't they grow
Starting point is 01:11:29 up with money and I think either way this is a way for them to boast or find value in themselves like even like if they didn't grow up with money it's like now I've achieved something that a lot of people haven't achieved and now I'm very proud of myself for doing this or they grew up with money and they might see it as like they've seen other people's riches and now they've achieved something And I'm thinking about a friend of mine that I have who they did not grow up with money and do not like to talk about money, but they do make a lot of money. But their parent is always talking about money because now they're proud of their child for making this amount of money and they see it like as a badge of honor for them. and then every conversation they have the parent is always bringing up money and so i think maybe like if you can ask to to just kind of like help with your friendship if you maybe know why they're always talking about it this might be just like something that helps you further understand them
Starting point is 01:12:42 and you might not get as annoyed with them if you understand the why yeah because i don't i am i'm with you like I think it's highly unlikely that the origin of this is malice and like you don't even think it is and it's really hard especially with things like money to look at someone who has a lot of money and when a lot of your when when money could exponentially change the majority of the problems in your life it can feel really insensitive for someone to just like passively talk about their money in a way that is comes across as like boastful when that would change your life that a lot of the time people who are doing that are doing that because you have something in your life that no promotion no amount of overtime and hours they will ever be able to
Starting point is 01:13:29 obtain and so that's what they put that stock in to the thing that they can kind of control and everyone's life would be a lot financial problems are like some of the largest problems like our country and our world faces and so having money changes a lot of that stuff but it doesn't get rid of like the other parts and it does feel like she's overcompensating like melissa said for like there's you mentioned that she had like has had some like rough times and i would assume it's directly related to that but just know that like if you love this person and this person's like a good friend and like a you know good person i think a i don't think there's anything harm of being like that's really great like I will say like I love to hear that you're like doing really
Starting point is 01:14:14 well but the numbers have felt kind of like off-putting to me like I'm so happy you're so successful but that's like the kind of money that would like change my life and when it's talked about in a way that is you're kind of downplaying it I don't know I know it's not your intention but it does make me feel bad and I want to hear when you get a promotion I want to hear when work is good and good but like if we could not talk about like specific numbers that would be great because I shouldn't compare my position and my salary to your job and your salary because they're so different but it's really hard not to and I don't think that you want me to feel like that and I think that that hopefully should change it but also just knowing that I don't know like
Starting point is 01:14:54 sometimes like people talk about their kids and stuff and like how great all of that's going and like you don't know that someone might be dealing with like fertility issues you're talking about like a great relationship you don't know that they're dealing with like a lot of relationship like issues in that like stuff that usually the in any area where someone coming across is boastful it's usually trying to overcompensate for an area that they feel like you are succeeding in and they're lacking in so i think you're right if you can change your mindset too it'll probably annoy you less and if you can vocalize it and it does change from there you might have like a very insightful conversation about like both of you comparing yourselves to like each other and you
Starting point is 01:15:32 know but you're definitely not wrong for feeling that way now it is time for but are they wrong aka rachel of the week aka the vote of the week where we nominate current event pop culture celebrity something that is currently happening that deserves a tomato tomato tomato who would you like to nominate all right so last week or a couple weeks ago the house voted on a bill called the Respect Marriage Act bill and 157 Republicans opposed it, but 47 Republicans joined in with the House Democrats to support it. And one of the people that opposed it was House Republican Glenn Thompson. And then three days after the vote, he went to a wedding for his gay son. And after the wedding, his press secretary came out and said, Congressman and Mrs. Thompson were thrilled to attend and celebrate their son's marriage on Friday night as he began this new chapter in his life and added that the congressman was very happy to welcome their new son-in-law into their family.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Then after the wedding, Glenn Thompson said, we're just blessed and we just want to say thanks to everyone here who is part of the celebration. We love it when they find their one true love, especially when they become part of our families. Then that's what we're rooting for. So that was the toast he gave at the wedding. so i'm nominating this hypocrite who wants the like we say a lot of times these representatives will vote in opposition of things to make their party look better but don't actually stand by it because they're hypocrites one but two because it won't actually affect them because when you have the power and the money these things don't really affect you so glenn thompson rachel of the week
Starting point is 01:17:40 wow okay i wholeheartedly agree that does make me kind of want to change mine but it's one that like is so hard to talk about because like there's not really any concrete facts so i'm gonna do like a little quick bonus and then get into mine but this just reminds me of this tiktok that i saw of this guy that i will link down below but he i saw it originally with a stitch where someone was like talk about an interesting scar that you have and he shows that he has a scar from like his like the top of his forehead all the way to the nape of his neck and he's like i've had two skull transplants and i like then he gets into his story and goes in the weirdest part of this is nobody knows what happened it was in 2019 he was dropped he went skateboarding on his like
Starting point is 01:18:25 electronic skateboard 19 minutes after he left his house he was dropped off at a hospital for an as an overdose patient was not going through overdose he had been like something had happened where he cracked his skull open and had a traumatic brain injury the camera footage there's none it's like d it's like it's in like new york or dc or something the security camera footage from the hospital they don't they can't have it they just have like a gap in time every single like large location like all of these landmarks and stuff there is no track record there's no no one there's no video of anyone dropping him off it's all miraculously disappeared and to this day he has no idea what happened or who did this to him or anything and the working theory which is like
Starting point is 01:19:14 pretty like they're only really one option that it's like a political figure someone who's like incredibly wealthy who has scrapped all of the evidence of this that like he's suffering and he's had to get like three transplant like he's on his third skull now and just reminds me of like the powerful people can do whatever they want isn't that crazy yeah i don't understand though why would they want to scrap it because he was it was like a essentially like a hit and run kind of thing oh oh i didn't know that he got hit i thought you just said he was in a skateboarding accident you didn't say that he doesn't know he doesn't have any idea so like he doesn't have it's 19 minutes and he has because it's a really bad really bad brain injury but the hypothesis is
Starting point is 01:19:59 that he got hit by somebody that was wealthy god and that they paid off every at every place that has security footage including the hospital and like the hospital's not really trying to figure it out either and like nobody is everybody's just trying to glaze on past it and it's like abundantly clear that someone really rich and powerful is at fault here and someone like commented on it which like i really applaud him for like his documenting this whole journey and stuff but someone commented like oh my god you're so positive i don't know how you do it he goes oh i'm not like it keeps me up every night like i'm in therapy twice a week like it's like you have no idea how hard it is to go through a traumatic brain injury have like your health like on the
Starting point is 01:20:38 line constantly he fell and got a concussion afterwards like it's so bad and he's like and to like not know what happened like processing like an accident in general is like really fucking hard and then having no idea what happened and then having everyone around you or having the people who potentially had the information getting paid off so you can't get it is a really like dystopian sort of thing so that reminds me of of that where like the rules don't apply for the one percent that was my quick little one but my real rachel of the week because that rachel of the week is like literally an anonymous like villain in a fucking like cbs show like i'm like this is an episode of the blacklist like who did this and see our ethical scam is we would find
Starting point is 01:21:17 out who did that i would like to nominate np as a nurse practitioner miranda on tiktok and this does kind of apply to this genre of TikToks as a whole, but specifically this woman. This woman made a TikTok of what she would do if she was Natalia Dyer, one of the girls from Stranger Things, what she would do if she was her injector. And she says, points out all of the places on Natalia's face that she would change, what she would do to change them. Then she edits the photo to what she would look like and does a before and after of how good she would look if she got this work done. And it was like, are you absolutely fucking kidding me? And then her defense of it was, this is my job. This is like what I do. Like we have patients like come in and we tell them
Starting point is 01:22:09 like the possibilities you can do with their face. And I was like, she's not your patient. She didn't come in and ask you anything. You literally just observed someone living their life and you got on here monetized to promote your business of what you would do to change her face and she makes videos of how she changed her own face and that is the only time minus your actual clients would give their consent for it to show you should be able to you should be showing before and afters but like when you talk about people like they are sims and that your face and all of these things can change and if someone has their own insecurity and they want to address their own insecurity that's completely fine but to tell someone what they should be insecure about
Starting point is 01:22:52 and how they should change it is fucking baffling fucking baffling and i hate i hate this genre of tiktok in general plastic surgeons i think like i mean we've talked about this offline but like i'm obsessed with the veneer check the woman who does talks about celebrities who have veneers i think it's important for people when people are not transparent about the work they've done i have no issue with professionals in their field being like, this is not realistic. This is not something you can get. I feel the same way with hairstylists who will go in and be like, these photos have filters on them. Stop bringing these photos to your hairstyles. These aren't real images. Like this is an edited image. I have no issue with that. But when someone has not had work done
Starting point is 01:23:35 and you're telling them the work they should get done, hiding under the blanket of, oh no, this is my job is just like what the fuck are we doing that we think that we have we can talk about other people's bodies who have not consented to it and i think the origin of all of this comes from the uh early 2000s and like i always attribute it all back to like supersize me that movie where it's like on in the news clips and everything people would just zoom in on fat people and cut their faces off and just show this obesity epidemic that it's become like oh we can just film people without their consent because we we view ourselves as better than them based on these arbitrary aesthetic things that's like incredibly fat phobic or uh about pretty privilege all of
Starting point is 01:24:25 this bullshit and then we also see this transfer into a couple of like dermatologists on or a couple of like people on tiktok have also started filming strangers in public who they think might have monkey pox and it's just people with dermatological conditions that they film them and it's that the idea that nobody has autonomy like online of like their own because these are personal accounts but like i it's just really like sick that people use this for their own gain like other critiquing and having commentary on other people's bodies who have not consented to it as financial gain and career success or just clout in general and entertainment fodder yeah and like we as a consumer like that is that is our own that is an issue that we should not be
Starting point is 01:25:16 consuming this content at all and i do have to fucking wonder when something's going to happen because like if i do a brand deal and it's like something i shot in public like you have to get release forms of everybody whose face is shown because of these brands um or you have to like blur them out or cut them out but if it's any identifying features you still can't use that stuff but we don't have that yet in like the digital space especially because anybody can now like monetize their social channels like it's not just something like exclusive for commercials or like things that is a career it can just be i don't know but i hate this and this injector and i it just like makes me like upset and that is like the definition of not an injector you should
Starting point is 01:25:58 be going to. And as somebody who gets Botox, someone who got their nose done, I've said this a thousand times and I'll say it again, go to a plastic surgeon to get any sort of injectables in your face and actually anywhere, any injectables in your body, anywhere do it. The, uh, I don't care if you are an injector at a med spa and you're offended by this, you didn't go to medical school for that like you don't have as much of a knowledge of you are you cannot be an expert in this because in order to be an expert in injecting things you have to literally be a medical expert because so many things can go wrong i have a friend of a friend who went to a med spa to get injected in her armpits for botox and she did it without her partner knowing they didn't want her
Starting point is 01:26:49 to get it and the last thing that she said to her injector was my husband's gonna kill me when he finds out and the injector injected it wrong and she died like it's just and then they get on fucking tiktok and they talk mad shit about people and i'm like no legitimate doctor should be doing content like this at all it's really disgusting like because people have their own insecurities about their bodies as it is either like the the insecurities or you just or you love yourself like potty parts so much and then see somebody that you don't even know take a photo of you and then critique it and then tell you that you should change this part of your body because they think it would make you look better when they have no idea how you feel about yourself it's just
Starting point is 01:27:42 disgusting and offensive and yeah me if i was someone that was looking to have something done cosmetically and i saw a professional or someone claiming to professional do this i would personally think it's unprofessional and i also think that the medical review or who was this person an actual doctor or nurse practitioner okay so i think that the nursing board should investigate this i believe that she should be reported because of this because this is unprofessional yeah she got rid of all of her distinct features like she has a strong jaw and like a prominent chin and she got rid of all of it and just like straight up universally she looked way worse in the after photo like she looked so much better in the before like she literally took every again every distinct
Starting point is 01:28:39 feature that like made her who she is yeah and you like look at her and you're like wow that is something that is like you that is like so you and she made her look like every other bitch like she just made her look just not good and it and it it makes me irate and famous people and notable people I mean I think I have I'm biased in it but I do not think that anyone's job elicits or justifies the treatment of objectifying someone's like looks or their body or critiquing it as public consumption and I think that anyone who does feel like that is allowed because of that I would encourage you to change your mind because how social media is going and how TikTok is going it is no longer now just reserved for famous people like it's happening to anyone and it will
Starting point is 01:29:35 affect you and actors are grown-up theater kids like they're insecure they are not the most confident person in the room like they are told all the time that they are not good enough because they look a certain way like you have to have really thick skin about your talent your performance but also your looks and that is not because you're so supremely confident like you do that in spite of that and to then target that is just disgusting anyways what a wonderful episode what a terrific episode we're just the best we're the greatest and if you also think we're the best and the greatest head on over to the reviews on apple podcast leave us a review you can also leave history on spotify but like we like the ones where you can like say how beautiful and hot we
Starting point is 01:30:27 are and how much you're like damn my nipples were hard listening this whole episode because they're just the best i do have a good one that i shall read m and m are the antithesis to men with podcasts and this is from zaps 233 five stars i've loved this podcast since the beginning and always listen on my commute and during workout and it gets me through my day never would i have predicted i would be listening to someone talk about cum pops well i i forgot we did that my bad okay cum pops while in a research lab at the fda but here we are uh please reach out to the pink sauce these women have really changed the way i think about things have helped me grow up and have made
Starting point is 01:31:23 me laugh whenever i needed it my thursdays and mondays are so much brighter listening to them and they are truly never wrong thank you zaps 233 you know in light of recent events of people starting to realize that there are similarly there's no ethical consumption under capitalism like there are no good men with podcasts hey you you you maybe you're maybe you've taken out tmg from your um rotation and we just want to let you know that we're here for you thank you for joining us and not once ever um will we ever become two straight white men so just know that you can count on us to not defend or justify andrew tate and those people so because i have no clue who that even is so yes we're here for you wow imagine just the blessing of that but i know i and that's why
Starting point is 01:32:19 i will not ask any more questions because i do not want to know who it is oh never anyways we hope you all enjoyed this episode and go follow us on our socials instagram tiktok our own personal ones the show and write in for upcoming but are you wrong segments and as always you can tag us when you see things that you want us to talk about on the show or send it to our personal boxes inboxes or the podcast account always happy to um do that but if you are going to be sending anything related to Pepto-Bismol please give a trigger warning before thank you you can also watch this on Patreon this is our second episode that's up on Patreon and then in addition to that if you would you know like to support us and you're like hey i don't have the money or like
Starting point is 01:33:12 i do have the money but i want an additional way to support you reshare our instagram reels thank you that would be wonderful and if you work at a company that does any sort of advertisements suggest to girls who talked about cum popsicles maybe you work for push pop we're here first of all if you do work for push pop that's like a great like i loved push pops those were delicious i don't know i don't know if they were still when you were a kid but when i was a kid like flintstone was the mascot for push pops and it was uh it was a good time it's a good time the orange ones orange ones i think i liked the rainbow ones is that was they're multicolored rainbow push pop they were like rainbow sherbert essentially yeah oh they
Starting point is 01:34:06 look fuck me that just like really uh really hit right now so yeah support the show so we can keep doing the show because right now we're paying to do the show and there is nothing at this point more embarrassing than paying for your own podcast like that's i mean that's most people do it the first year but and oh i guess we are we're still in our like we've only been doing this for eight months now i think okay we started in december yeah but um we would so appreciate it and we will circle back next week thank you but am i wrong is a production by me megan ranks and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.

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