Don't Blame Me! - BAIW CLASSIC: Sister's Boyfriend Was In Jail
Episode Date: August 4, 2025Original Air Date: 8/18/2022 For But Am I Wrong Meghan: People who call people who don't drink boring Melisa: Saying no to someone who doesn't respect your time and knowledge In But Am Y...ou Wrong they if listeners were wrong in the following situations: Sister's boyfriend neglecting their kids Stopping an uncle that overshares too much in the hospital And in But Are They Wrong AKA "Rachel of The Week" they nominate Meghan nominates actor Sean Bean Melisa nominates white privilege card carrier Mimi Israelah Write In: butamiwrongpod@gmail.com Weigh In: Vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Your playlist might get you through the workday,
but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?
What work helped them build a life?
How did they adapt as the world around them changed?
With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free
for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree.
You've got questions. We've got ancestors.
Search free until August 31st.
Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply.
Hear that?
It's your money calling.
It wants a promotion.
Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account.
Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest.
Conditions apply.
Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more.
Scotia Bank.
You're richer than you think.
welcome to but am i wrong starring two people who are so hot so sexy so smart
and in an unfair advantage to the rest of the world have also never been wrong but anything
ever nope and i'm glad that people are starting to like clue on clue in because we talked about
trader joe's in the last episode and someone was like i'm from the uk i've never been trader joe's
but meg has never been wrong so i'm gonna have to agree with her we do have one person when i
brought up the uh choco taco who is a frequent guest on our other podcast frequent update on
our other podcast and she said that the choco taco sounds disgusting and she voted against me
and she's never had one before.
And she said, I hope you still love me.
And I said, absolutely not.
No, this is, I don't think anyone,
like if you listened,
you knew how serious of a topic it was.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I guess, I mean,
we'll get into it when we give the recap,
read the results of the polls from last week.
But yeah, this is, but am I wrong?
And if you are watching,
hey, hey, hey, yes, we are available on Patreon.
Now you can see the video version,
but you will see that we are not split screen.
yep we are together together together together i knew that you'd only just yeah slightly touched
imagine i just like fully like what are you doing it would have made me feel weird yeah you're like
this is not that was not what this yeah we know what this means uh this is exciting we are back
in person now we're the emojis oh yeah i think mine should be the right hand though so welcome
to the podcast welcome back uh if you've been here before and welcome for the first time you've
never been here before you are in for the ride of a lifetime without actually maltinas you know
i see i love how you went to that and i was thinking of like surfing oh have you seen point
break mott's obsessed with that movie of course he is what man isn't it's so true it actually
though to be fair like as soon as we started watching it i was like this is camp i kind of
love it it it is camp that that movie is the definition of camp because it's just yeah dudes
hanging out and doing shit i hot take this is not my hot take for the episode but hot take i think
the vast majority of like movies that are targeted to men are like the campiest things in the world
yeah and like they want to give shit to be like oh my gosh i'm not into like reality tv or i'm
not into like these things that we view as like traditionally feminine and i'm like if you want
to talk about camp the movie uh sleepover julie corkey that movie is nowhere near as campy as
as point break or uh face swap whatever that fucking one is face off i'm like so can't fast
and furious camp yeah going back to point break it's also just i feel like just a beautiful love
story too but they they they were too scared to tell the or they told it in the way that they
could tell it yeah and like if you have eyes you know that they're in love it was so sexual it was
so there is so much sex in that movie without there being sex like that movie probably could
get off to it yep and they want to they want to talk shit on Brokeback Mountain and I'm like I'm
sorry first of all every everybody cop movie just stars two men best friends in love alone
high-stakes situations.
Gazing lovingly in each other's eyes.
They have to trust each other.
The test of their friendship.
And we're supposed to believe
that the girl you speak to
for 0.5 seconds
in one scene
and at the end,
that's who you end up...
Anyways.
Oh, I guess I should introduce ourselves.
Hi, my name is Megan.
And my name's Melissa.
And together,
we make up stories.
And we lie.
We don't.
We don't.
We don't.
unless it's for the comedy someone they were being funny and i thought it was brilliant they
were like it was three things that they said i forgot what the third one was but i had posted
a picture of myself at pool this weekend that i was at and it said like bride to be like one of
the little yeah banner things and they were like look at you always lying to us you're getting
mary you're gay and then what other thing that is i like for some reason i didn't even realize
that you were going to include that bit in the episode and so as i was listening i go oh my gosh
i am so glad that people get to hear this like story because i don't know why i don't know why
i didn't know if it because i mean we could we run long when we record so sometimes things that
don't necessarily pertain to the episode don't get kept in and so i just thought it was good it's it
was so good and I was I I think in the back of my head I was like thinking that we went over and it
was gonna get cut out and I'm so glad it did not because I've thought about it all the time like I
think about it and I laugh like it's just so funny and if anyone has not seen was that in
but am I wrong or don't blame me I think it was but am I wrong no it was don't blame me it was
don't blame me again if you all haven't signed up to watch the video please watch the video version
because I was listening to it and again I lived this but I was listening to it and I was like
wait, I want to, I want to see the video version. And you can see if you've watched us for a good
amount of time, it's like, it's written on your forehead, what you're going to say. And I see it
on your forehead and we're both like laughing because we know, but you haven't even said it
yet. And it was just really, really, really fucking funny. Oh, it killed. It killed. Anyways.
Wow. This is quite the intro. On this podcast, we have a lot of segments. We have our,
but am I wrong segment where we pitch our personal hot takes for things that are happening in our
lives. And we ask each other, hello, am I wrong? And we will be like, oh, of course you're not
wrong because you're never wrong. And then we have, but are you wrong? Where you, our audience
listeners, you write in situations happening in your current life and, or it could be past life,
but just things on your mind
that you're going through
and we will let you know
if we think you are the hero
or the villain of your story
and then our third
and final segment
is
but are they wrong
aka
woe of the week
Rachel of the week
where we nominate
a celebrity
public figure
something happening
current event wise
who sucks beyond belief
yes
sucks in the bad way
and then the best part
or one of our favorite parts
you listeners
get to vote on everything that we talk about.
So on our Instagram,
there will be a story up sometimes on Friday,
at least between Friday and Monday,
pick a day for 24 hours for you
to go and vote on the situations.
And if you have opposing opinions from the majority,
please just write in and let us know
because there might've been things
that we did not see or know.
And also if you are the original writer
and you want to give like address a question that we had
or like give a little bit of an update
or your thoughts on like what we said,
we always love to like read those as well.
And if you want to have a hint
to when the voting will go up,
look on my Instagram,
see if I'm at a wedding or at an event,
then know it'll probably go up closer to Sunday.
Or if you see me and I'm just like posting stories
and I'm clearly in my apartment working,
send me a message on my own account
and be like, hey-o.
That was like your birthday.
Yeah, this one was an exception. This was like, you know, birthday, wedding.
All right, should we get into the results?
Yes.
So for episode 37, first up was me. And my hot take is Trader Joe's is not good.
31% said I was wrong and 69% said I was not wrong. I think a lot of people who said that I was wrong
also agree with me in the sense that like, it's a snack place. Like everyone's like,
you know what? I'm saying you're wrong, but like, I really love a couple of like their snack things
from there. And I was like that. Yeah. I'm saying it's not, it's not a real grocery store. You're
saying it's a vending machine and it is a vending machine. It's like an upgrade at 7-Eleven.
Literally. And first of all, I love 7-Eleven. I know how near and dear it was to your heart
as a child. Yeah. When you have one chain in your entire town and those people, the Kim family
lets you have no concept of what money is
and you just give them some coins
and think it means a dollar
and they eat the cost so you can have a Slurpee,
that sticks with you forever.
And then the next family bought it
and they didn't do that.
And I was like,
maybe that's why I don't know how to do math.
I would never blame the Kims for their generosity.
But I then realized, I was like,
these random quarters,
not even quarters,
these random coins don't make up a whole dollar.
I can't get one.
All right.
Okay.
Let's go with me.
melissa versus choco taco decision maker needs to be fired who is wrong seven percent said that i
was wrong 93 said that i was not wrong it will say a lot of the people that said that i was wrong
they've never had a choco taco so again if it doesn't apply don't vote yeah and here's the
thing i personally never had choco taco but hearing about what they were like from a friend
and i realized they were soggy i was like you know not my cup of tea they're not soggy they're
just not as crisp as like like think of think of it like if you ate like an actual waffle you know
yeah between that and then a waffle cone it's in between that's not my it's not my preferred
texture but i see the joy that choco tacos bring everybody across the world and so who am i one
singular person to say that they shouldn't get fired like i don't even enjoy it i don't i don't
eat them yeah i should not be the one deciding you know who i have beef with cody from peloton
because he got on instagram and he was like y'all don't like choco tacos just admit it you haven't
had a choco taco in a long time and just going off on the choco taco and cody cody cody go work
off your anger on your peloton i don't need you coming for my choco taco no he has lots of sermons
that really resonate with people.
And I just feel like this was a miss.
This wasn't it.
A swing and a miss.
But now it might've been a long con for Klondike,
but now they're talking about
because of all the backlash
that they might bring it back now.
Well, they should because who the,
I can name off the top of my head,
like at least five friends
who've had a Choco Taco in the last,
like, I don't know, three months,
the calendar year or whatever.
I mean, three months is not a calendar year,
but I'm saying a range of like
the last couple of months to a year.
i could not name someone in my lifetime i've never seen anyone eat a klondike bar
here's the thing too is that klondike when they bought the choco taco because they haven't
always been part of the choco taco family they made like a version of the klondike bar that has
the waffle cone in it so i feel like they were trying to make moves but it doesn't taste i
when i saw it i got one and i ate and it just didn't have the same because the cone was inside
the chocolate as opposed to the outside so it just wasn't the same it didn't hit your tongue the same
way so it might have been a push for them to move towards that but not the same thing like what would
you do for a klondike bar i would get a choco taco that's what i would do then we have writer number
one also can we just talk about how of everything that we've like talked about at like nauseam and
length the choco taco is something that like i have as much passion for as like some of the
political things we talk about yeah like it like we have is just as much to say
it's just like choco taco and abortion yeah our our those are our ballot issues i'm a single
issue voter that's what i'm running on that is your platform it's a good fucking platform
and anti sprinkles and big milk it all goes together honestly it does life is a scam next
up we have writer number one versus feeling guilty for relying on her husband for income
while she focuses on art 54 said writer is wrong 46 said writer is not wrong so this one is really
split i will say i didn't give the i didn't say this in the last episode which i think
is attributing to like why this is like really skewed but moving forward when we say like when
we say like our final consensus we've been trying to do at the end of each one of these now where
it's like oh i don't think you're wrong for this but i think you're wrong for this and in the
context of the show that would mean that you're wrong so when people are like well i agree with
what you said but i don't know which one to vote for if you're agreeing with what we said and we
kind of gave that caveat like i don't think your feelings are wrong but i don't think you should
feel that way and so therefore I would say that you are wrong in that in this sense you shouldn't
feel like that vote with that like so I want to make sure like moving forward we've been we've
been making a point to make sure that we say our stance so when there are ones that are more
confusing like this because I can't really word it in yeah in this poll and I also think when
people are writing in maybe also don't when you're asking what you're wrong about don't put it towards
your feelings word it so it's for the situation and i think that will help clear things up as well
yeah because sometimes we'll adjust it where it's like oh if you have like friends who are being
judgmental about it but it's like oh am i wrong for feeling like this as opposed to like am i in
the wrong for this or are my friends in the wrong for this it's reactions versus feelings and like
people's responses versus like your internal kind of feelings but i just want to make that clear
because it is 54% said the writer's wrong.
46% said writer is not wrong.
But pretty much everyone was messaging
agreeing with what we had said.
So I don't want the writer to see this
and see 54% and be like,
wow, that's some people think
that I'm wrong for doing what I'm doing.
It is not that.
Right.
So, and if you need screenshots to prove it,
you send it to the DMs.
I can send you.
This was probably one of the ones
that we had the most people writing in on.
Yeah, no, but in lots of people
were like thanking and being like this is a similar position that i'm in right now and like i
like have been feeling guilt about this and it was really nice hearing that i shouldn't be feeling
guilt about this so just know that nobody thinks that you are wrong for feeling this way for doing
what you're doing the only the people who are voting that you are wrong were the same things
that we said that you were wrong in the sense of you're thinking that you are in the wrong is wrong
yeah yep convoluted but i hope that made sense all right and then we've got writer number two
versus father who she doesn't want to invite to her wedding because he is currently cheating
on the writer's mom with the woman he met online that lives overseas. A mouthful. Who was wrong?
2% said the writer is wrong and 98% said the writer's not wrong. We had an update from the
writer too. And it says, hi, I'm the one with the dad having an online affair. Unfortunately,
she is real. He is over in the Philippines with her now on holiday. Thank you for your advice.
I need to hear that from someone who doesn't know me and my day.
I'm so sorry that she's real.
Yeah, me too.
Yikes.
Yikes.
So my wrong of the week was the COVID scammers.
And 96% of the scammers are wrong.
4% said scammers are not wrong.
20 votes and vast majority of you all messaged immediately and went,
oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
I do not think the scammers were right.
My bad.
Yeah.
Yeah. Somebody did write in that said, can we have both answers? Because I think the government
shouldn't have made it so easy to do it. But again, that was not what was proposed.
Yeah. And I vote on what's proposed. Yeah. And we also said that in the episode and sometimes like
the wrong of the week or whatever we're voting on boils down to like a single issue of that.
There's always going to be more nuance in the conversation on the podcast.
Yep. And then also my wrong of the week is body parts dealer Megan Hess.
I had no idea what this woman looked like before. And thank you for sharing this picture.
First of all, beyond the hair, the blush placement, the earrings, the makeup,
I think that's tattooed eyeliner, like everything, even the coloring of this photo. It's like they
tried to help her and desaturate it and make it look like it was taken in the 80s or the 90s.
Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?
What work helped them build a life?
How did they adapt as the world around them changed?
With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree.
You've got questions.
We've got ancestors.
Search free until August 31st.
Visit Ancestry.ca for details.
Terms apply.
Hear that?
It's your money calling.
It wants a promotion.
Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account.
Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest.
Conditions apply.
Visit ScotiaBank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more.
ScotiaBank.
You're richer than you think.
Oh, this is this is now.
Yeah.
Ninety eight percent said that Hess is wrong.
Two percent said she's not wrong.
I don't think anybody wrote it.
So I want to know.
I want to know why you think that she's not wrong.
OK, one person said they voted wrong.
But that one person who is pretending to be 16 years old, they voted for that with no adjustment.
Yeah, I've got questions.
Also, I just would like to extend my condolences to the other person named Megan Hess, who is a real.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I saw that other person and how much bad press this must be for them, because I'm pretty sure they're an author.
Yeah.
And there's also a politician named Megan Hess.
And an artist, too.
Yeah.
Maybe this is the solution.
If you want to commit a heinous crime, make sure your name is John Smith.
yeah there's an illustrator it's very chic i know all right now it is time for but am i wrong
our first segment so mine is a hot take but it is inspired by some actions of some people who
i do not know but this video ended up on my for you page okay so i it is this this girl did a
TikTok in which she's talking about how she has kind of added a lot of content to her TikTok
account, coining the term damp lifestyle. Yeah, I hate the word damp too, but she chose it and
I've never heard anyone else use this word before. And she said that she had coined the term and I
believe her because no offense to this girl, I hate the word damp. Like it's just, I think it
was the alternative to moist lifestyle, but it's basically, there's been a whole influx of people
who are, you know, talking about like sober curious and trying to live, reevaluate their
relationship with alcohol and have like a partial relationship with alcohol and not making sobriety
and not drinking as the only alternative to either your binge drinking or you're sober,
like having a healthier relationship. And this person's in their 20s. And I think it's like a
really, really great like concept and a really great thing. And I've seen a lot of people who've
talked about it and she was doing this tiktok saying that she was listening to a podcast of
these other tiktokers that she really liked and on the podcast they have a segment where they say
like yay or nay yes or no we like this or we don't two different topics and one they brought
up with sobriety and they said nay like no and then they reference a whole uh-huh and then they
reference saying like you know people who are like doing this whole like damp lifestyle
like this content which again is this singular individual who a couple of these tiktokers i
guess follow her and they have like similar circles or mutual friends and they said if you're
not an alcoholic and you don't have a problem with alcohol re-evaluating your relationship
with alcohol a damp lifestyle or choosing not to drink whatever it just means that you're boring
and like just say that just say that you're boring like that's really what this is and anyone doing
that is just boring and my hot take is if you are so personally threatened by somebody else
evaluating their relationship with alcohol which is quite literally poison and adjusting their
relationship and how much they consume and if you are at all invested personally in somebody else's
drinking in a negative way I'm invested in you should be drinking or I all of that you have an
alcohol problem yeah it sounds very judgmental and putting your own issues on other people
like if you're personally if you feel personally attacked by somebody else choosing not to drink
you have a problem with alcohol and far more people have a problem with alcohol than know
that they do i think we like view sobriety the medical term which is important because like we
need to acknowledge that because i think like there's a lot of misinformation and judgment
that comes from people who are dealing with like active addiction that people don't understand that
like yes it does change your brain chemistry you can't just quit culture like there are these steps
that's why you need medical intervention for a lot of these things but that is one level of extreme
to like that is an addiction to poison but it's never not poison like it's always poison
and there's always issues that are going to arise at different levels of consumption of it
and like the automatic level of consumption like hangover that's like the first most basic thing
like when you are doing something that actively harms you and either ruins your day or you're
throwing up or you're doing anything like that you're weighing the pros and the cons but there's
always a con to drinking. There's always going to be a con. Like you can't drive a car. Like
there's always something there. And to treat this as like the default, I think is super,
super, super problematic. And if you are watching somebody else not drink or like
reevaluate their relation with alcohol or not drink on excess, and you feel like that is a
personal attack, that is because you have a problem that this is making you reflect on.
And I also think that if you see someone who's saying like, oh, I'm doing 30 days,
no drinking, I'm doing 60 days, no drinking. And your mind goes to judgment of that person
of going, oh my gosh, wow. Like that's like, you're having to like do all of that stuff.
I could never do that. If you can't even fathom considering not drinking for 30 days,
you have a problem. And the idea of like, oh no, no, no, no. Well, I don't have a problem. Like,
i don't have a problem so i don't need to stop for 30 days that to me is like do you hear yourself
like if that's something that you're like i could never i could never do that that's not because you
don't have a problem with alcohol so then you would never need to do that it's good for anyone
to do that like periodically when something we know a substance is addictive we should all be
taking breaks from it like you in general like you always like that is something that like yes
some people are more likely to have addiction and more likely to have substance abuse issues,
but it's that you're not exempt from that if you don't have a family history of that.
And I just think that like the binge drinking culture is so heavily normalized and the blackout
culture of like showing videos of like people doing crazy things when they're like so wasted
and like so drunk and all of that. That was definitely prevalent when I grew up and like,
I don't drink, like I don't have a good relationship with alcohol, but I can't even
imagine how much harder that is now on social media with like just everyday people like yes
you're posting this but then you're also seeing like barstool sports like these videos are blowing
up these random people are blowing up for like having these crazy drunk stories and like this
is so fun and cool and if you're excessively talking about how much you're blacking out and
how much you're drinking to me that is also a red flag that you your circle is so has normalized
this behavior so much that you think that saying this out loud and talking about this on a platform
where you also post aspirational content and you also are posting like everyone says it's a
highlight reel. Why is blacking out a highlight reel? Yeah. When I was in college, we didn't
there. I mean, Twitter was coming along and Facebook was up. But Facebook, you wouldn't
post pictures of like the way that you do on Instagram and YouTube of like you drinking like
that. And I know for a fact that my group of friends, drinking was like a personality trait
for us. And I recognized that the way that we drank, it could be a problem for me. So I stopped.
I mean, like I still socially, I might have a drink. I guess I'm part of this damp lifestyle.
I did look up what it is while you were talking, but I was kind of, if somebody wasn't drinking,
I was judgmental of it because I was like, oh, they don't know how to have fun.
They can't handle their liquor.
And it came from a place of judgment.
And so how old are these people that in their 20s, late 20s, early 20s?
Because I think there is.
OK, to me, that sounds about right.
And I probably would have said that when I was that age.
but it did come from a place of judgment and projecting. And I know that like alcoholism
is a problem, but we'd also say things like enjoy it now because after college,
this is considered alcoholism. And so I get where they're coming from, but it's wrong.
Yeah. I think that like there is one of the downsides of if you're choosing to be a young
person on social media with like a platform, this was said on a podcast, if you're choosing to do
grown-up things before your brain is fully developed you're going to be treated like
a grown-up with a fully developed brain like the profiting off of having a platform I hope that
they really like regret how they speak about this and how they talk about this in general
and to most people in their 20s like yeah I like look back to like how how normalized it was and
I even like will see younger people now talking about this and I'm like you statistically they're
going to be people in your friend group who are alcoholics and they're going to need to get sober
and they will like if you're not going to reach your 30s before you meet one of your friends who
you've known drinking who then has ceased drinking because they've had a problem yeah you're not
going to make it to your 30s before knowing somebody who's either gone to aa gone gotten
clean or gone to rehab like it's just not going to happen and the this othering like we're different
I'm not like this or whatever, but like, to be fair, I think binge drinking culture and drinking
culture in general across all ages is so horrific. Like there are doctors who've come out who are
like, yeah, one drink a day does negatively affect your health. And people are like, no,
like that's not true. Like, and people do not want to believe doctors for this. Like you'll see like
of all ages, people who are like completely denying the research behind it when it's like
informed consent but you need to not treat this like people treated cigarettes in the fucking 80s
that is like oh yeah this is fine like this is totally not deadly this isn't at all like no you
can make the choice like we do things all the time like i don't know some people uh you eat like raw
seafood like you eat things and you know the risk of them but then denying that there's any risk
there at all or these numbers are skewed in any sense is like you're gonna get so much deeper
before you realize that you might need help,
then you would have to.
Like you don't need,
it doesn't need to get to that point.
Yeah, but the problem for me is the judgment behind it.
Yeah, and like, I don't know.
I think like there can be really like,
she's around the same age.
Her name's Hannah Elson, H-A-N-A dot E-L-S-O-N.
And so I don't know.
She said she kind of coined the term damp lifestyle,
but maybe just in this circle.
So the reference is like very clearly about her,
but it's just a really incredibly damaging thing,
especially because I think it doesn't take until you're 30 to become an alcoholic it's usually when
a lot of people are the consequences that they've reached in their life the relationships that they
might be losing or the health effects or things it's now no longer deniable and or they've now
reached the point where they're willing to like kind of seek and get help but there's a lot of
people who should and have gotten sober or stopped drinking cut back excessively in their 20s and
when you make judgments for that, you are alienating. And also it's a really dangerous
thing to spread that being sober and not drinking is lame and isn't cool. I really hate that. It's
one thing to be like ignorant of knowing that like you're binge drinking when you're glorifying it
and putting it on your platform. Like, and yeah, I was the same way. It was like my personality.
There's a dip. I, that's also not good, but that I can also attribute to like your brain's not
fully developed and like you know you don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol there's that
and then there's judging other people for re-evaluating their own relationship and maintaining
a healthy relationship with alcohol yeah because it's possible but it doesn't happen after binge
drinking for years and years and years and years and years like that's not building that habit
pissed me off you seem like it i comment on her videos like i have no idea who these people are
But I'm inclined to say that they might have an alcohol problem.
Well, all right.
So mine is personal this week.
So a friend reached out to me who works in the entertainment industry, but does not work
in our sect of the entertainment industry.
And they're like, hey, I want to be a writer now.
And I was like, OK.
And they said, can you like give me some tips or whatever?
And I said, yeah, sure.
let's schedule a time to talk about this. When they had originally reached out, I was super
busy. I mean, I'm still super busy now, but I was like, we can do this in a few weeks. So we set a
time. And then over the week before they started sending me voice memos, which I hate of, Hey,
so I have this story. I want it to come out on this specific day, which I was like, already,
you don't know how this industry works like it takes for if you get something made it takes
forever to get made and you have no say on when it would get me or when it would oh like see the
light premiere oh yeah okay which is less than a year from here from this time i said that's not
realistic and then they were also like i have this idea and i've written these specific scenes that
have to go in it and i was like again that's not how things work and they said but what i'm really
looking for is someone who knows what they're doing to finish this story for me so they came
to me initially saying i just want like some tips and pointers and then ending it with you i want you
to write this why did you come on as the new writer what is it called when you know it's not
rewrites but it's essentially they did the story by and then i would do the action right oh they
want you to yeah just write it just write it and i said i don't have the capacity to do this at all
were they offering you money nope okay didn't offer any money didn't offer i said do you have
financiers and you already have like this ready to go and they said no what does that mean
have no understanding of how just the industry works as a whole and i again told them that i
have no time to do this and they're like well oh and but i was like you know if you want pointers
i will do this because i have there's certain parts of the industry that i want to get into
and i've reached out to people and i always feel like if there's just like tips that i have then i
will meet with the person and share well and also those kinds of tips are not mentally or physically
laborious it's just kind of like off the top of your it's it's easy to share that might be harder
for other people to obtain that knowledge but like it's not a lot of mental or physical work
for you to say those things so we set a time and they didn't show up for the time for us to uh talk
on facetime and then they messaged me a few hours later and was like i put this in my calendar wrong
can we meet tomorrow and i said no they also called me but i was asleep when they called
and I said no I'm busy and they said is there another time I said no I told you everything
that I have to do this month that's due I don't have time to do this so am I wrong for telling
them no no did you suggest to them that they might be interested in writing fan fiction
I didn't suggest that but they also or a novel they also uh it was like do you know another
writer that would be available and I said do you have the money to do this and they said no
I think people in entertainment and in Hollywood specifically like view writing like a screenplay
or a tv show as a romantic creative process similar to that of writing like a love story
like a book or something that you pour everything into when in reality you're writing something
that you can't love it like you can like it and you can really like love the concept and but you
have to you know the the trope not the trope or the the the saying is like gotta kill your darlings
like that's why no one wants a writer who wrote the novel to do adapted to a screenplay yeah like
just because you you care too much you love it too much you can't let go of like this isn't
going to translate on screen like this is we're going to have to cut we're gonna have to do all
of this kind of stuff yeah that's obscene it's obscene and also i just felt like it was just
disrespectful of me and my time and also i laid out that i have two screenplays that are doing
the next two months like i don't have time to do this and i also explained to them in detail
like in a text message the process of even getting something made and they're like well i know enough
people to ask and i was like okay then go ask those people yeah your proxy to the industry
should make it so like i don't want to say like that whole thing like oh there's no stupid
questions but like your proxy to the industry should make like a lot of the kind of basic
questions answered without having to like seek out someone also google yeah exactly i was gonna say
and then there's google and so then it's like after you've done all of this individual work
yourself then when you reach out to your friends who are working in the industry you want to work
in who are incredibly busy and you're calling in a favor that is the stuff that it's like i've done
all this research i've asked all these other people i've like taken these mentorships i've
like looked at the master class i've done all of this kind of stuff and there are a couple like
little technical things i'm caught up on could you help me out with that and not the like you
i would if you're in the industry at this point and that you don't know that you like need to pay
a writer to write i'm like do you walk around with your like fingers in your ears going like
like it's just that's wild yeah i don't think they actually want to write any they don't i don't
think I don't believe that these scenes that they say that they have written have been written
either no I'm sure they've just been like fleshed out and like story-wise I don't even think that
I think it's an idea that's in their head that they have not put on paper I also just hate in
general how a lot of people talk about writing because like writing and like scream like writing
like in the industry specifically because yes anybody like of all of the ways to get into the
creative field and like Hollywood or making movies television shows writing is the way that like you
don't need a ton of credits like you don't need like if you write a really great script
it is what it is like that is that entity like you don't have to like it's not like delivering
one good audition and then you're not good on the callback like you know all you have to do is
deliver one like amazing great script that a production company happens to want and so and
it has to be the right time the market for it has to be like there's a lot of things that have to hit
for it to even get made unless you just have money and you can make it yourself and then
distributed itself. But I think a lot of people talk about like, you should just write something,
just go for it. Because yes, there are people who've written one thing and the first thing
they wrote hit and it was amazing and it was great. And it's like, you don't necessarily need
a ton of credits, credentials, like anyone can do it. But that means anyone can do it. Yeah. Like
that, that, that means that like, then do it. Like anyone can do it, do it. It might not be good.
It might be great. And it still might not get made. But like this idea that like,
it's simple and it's easy just because it is the one of the few things that it is kind of like
getting discovered at a mall right like yes we have those like some there's still so much work
that even goes into that and those scripts are phenomenal yep and even great writers who've
written amazing scripts if they write a shitty script it doesn't get made then like a next movie
they make like it doesn't uh-huh it doesn't happen in that way yep i can't i'm still not over the
This is the day I want it to come out.
Wow.
You are not wrong.
Thank you.
Survey says not wrong.
Should we take a break?
Oh, yeah.
We'll be right back.
This episode is brought to you by Accenture.
When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows.
Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business.
The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most.
Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.
When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different.
People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel.
While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.
Here's to WestJetting since 96.
Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years.
And we're back from our break and we're going to get into the, but are you wrong segment?
So if you want to email us to be a feature on episode, send us 300 words maximum, type it out
to amirongpod at gmail.com. We ask that you include your ages. It's all anonymous in the
story. Anonymous in the story. If you're going to use pseudonyms, use full names, not like numbers
or letters. It's just harder to follow. Include everybody's ages. If you want to include pronouns,
go for it and give us as much information and detail as possible and like we said the beginning
of the episode format the end of it with like what specifically you're asking if you're wrong
about just so we can yeah take feelings out of it yeah because you're never wrong for how you feel
about a situation but i at 25 they them and not a fan of my older sister's boyfriend she her 29
and he him 29 and neither are my other sisters both she her 23 and 24 so my sister's boyfriend
let's call him chad fitting makes no effort on helping my sister let's call her dolores with
the kids what a random name to pick when you picked chad they share one kid together my nephew
who is three and my sister already has a daughter who just turned 10 whenever she goes to work she'd
ask him to take care of the kids and when she'd come home my niece would complain they didn't eat
all day. Oh my God. Not only that, but he'd leave them both home alone or call me or my other
sisters to take care of it. We all hate him. He's got no car, no license, no job, nada. We hated him
more when my family and his family tried to have an intervention and it ended with him pointing a
gun in my face. The fuck? What the hell? And vandalizing my house a month later. We found out
he went to jail for God knows what, and we were all happy until we found out Dolores bailed him
out and brought him to a family event, and he was high and drunk as shit and kept calling me bro
and cuz, as in cousin to the white people out there. So here's my thing. Am I wrong for wanting
to confront my sister that she needs to break up with him, or I'm lawyering up and taking the kids
away from her and adopting them myself? I love those kids with all of my heart, and I want them
in a safe environment. Chad just brings out the worst in Dolores and it scares me for the kids
safety. You are not wrong at all. At all. I think you have to have a loving conversation with your
sister coming from a place of compassion and not judgment, but compassion for the kids of being
like, this is not a stable environment and this is not okay. And if they live together, I mean,
the first thing I would do is be like, I want you and the kids to move in with me.
And I think that that should be something that would be great. I think we should get you like
in therapy. This relationship is like really hard to watch you go through and it's really scary and
dangerous. And I can't imagine how much harder it is for you to be in the thick of this. But I
would really, really, really love to be able to support you and the kids in working towards
being in a happy and healthy place because there you mean there's a way you have to go about it
like because i'm and this is not what you're asking at all but this pops up on like lots of
things where i'm very very very much not in the camp of unless it is in dire need and there's no
other option in calling cps on like a family member i don't think unless there is not a way
that you can help it's completely out of your control like all of these things because cps in
theory on paper is great but in practicality it's it's not it's kind of in a lot of cases like
there's just too much they're overwhelmed and in similar cases it can be like kind of calling the
cops for domestic violence like things can get worse from doing this so i think that like i
don't think you're wrong in giving that ultimatum but i do think that you need to strategize
with your family and it seems like his family's on the same page like I think you all need to
kind of strategize as a whole because when kids are involved and like there's custody kind of
stuff you want to do what's best for the kids but there's a way to go about like it's always
going to be hard but there's a way to go about it like you don't want to make it harder than it has
to be. Do you know what I mean? I don't think that you're wrong in, you know, being scared for the
kids. So practically, depending on what state you're in, I would research and then Google,
research or read other people's research, like figure that stuff out and then talk to a lawyer
because more likely in some states, grandparents can step in. So, I mean, I think that practically
you look into like grandparents rights. And I mean, I don't know if that's exactly the right
term. I think that applies. I don't know if that applies to custody, but looking into that,
because that by proxy in some states is kind of the only way you can go about things without
bio parents relinquishing their rights willingly. But I think that depending on what the legality
of that is, and that kind of has to be like a hundred percent sure shot that that's going to
work, that is also really traumatizing. But my mind automatically goes to, and I know this isn't
like we're supposed to be giving you advice, but my mind does go to having the kids and your sister
move in with you or having something where when someone's in a bad relationship or a bad situation
and they're not really seeing that and they can't really get out of it, sometimes the best thing
that you can do is provide them a good relationship and a good situation. And it makes it so that
feels like it could be a long-term forever possibility as opposed to I could never imagine
that happening. Like the one thing you don't want to do when someone's in an abusive relationship is
let their abuser, which I guess I don't want to put onus on anyone else, but abusers want to
isolate you. And the best thing that you can do as someone who's like witnessing this happening
is making sure that like you maintain a good relationship and a place like a safe space
where that person doesn't forget what that is like and doesn't think that that is so far out
of reach that it becomes like a viable option to pursuing and getting out of that situation.
But yeah, this is like really, really, really, really hard. And even if it's not being able to
move everybody in with you, like scheduling time to take the kids and being like, I'll babysit on
these days. I'll babysit on these days. That's always like if you can't get kids out of an
abusive situation especially if they're young the best thing that you can do is to take them out of
that situation as often as you can and just temporarily because it's going to be hard no
matter what but it's easier to not continue the cycle and easier to break that and like
go no contact or like get mental health help or do all of that if you have other point of
references of healthy relationships and you have like places and people you can go that, you know,
you can count on and kind of escape to. But I think it's better that it doesn't always feel
like escaping, that there's planned times that you can, you know, that you're going to take them
and that inadvertently is like protecting them as best you can. Oh, I cannot believe this. I hate
Chad. I hate Chad. But Dolores is also, yeah, this is an abusive relationship. So it doesn't
surprise me that chad brings out the worst in dolores because that's because chad is the worst
and that's the intent like you make the person you're abusing an unlikable person so then when
you isolate them people aren't missing you know i mean like people like you you piss people off
before you isolate them from their family and stuff and it and it yeah you hear that stuff all
the time when people are like how i can't reach out to people like that i was so mean i was so
like all of that and that's what abuse does yeah a gun yeah a gun i did not know that was gonna
happen all right my turn yes all right so here's the next one hey bitches hi i like that i need an
honest opinion about an issue weighing on my mind i am a 28 year old female and my grandma
recently got covet from an irresponsible friend of hers who did not disclose testing positive
She was admitted to the hospital and readmitted due to unresolved symptoms.
When my grandma returned to the ER, my uncle began spamming the family group chat with updates,
some medical related and some also very unnecessary, including every time he was in and out of the ER and messages such as,
but not limited to, and this is a quote, nurse came in with tomato soup.
first time I've seen it in a disposable container, end quote, new quote. I have added coconut oil,
turmeric, and zinc to my diet ever since I got COVID, end quote. He received minimal responses
to these updates, and it was difficult for me to keep up to date having to read through
unimportant details. I replied, hi, could you please only send factual medical information?
I want to be up to date with grandma's status but it's a lot of messages to read thank you
in advance he didn't send any additional messages after this response he provided no updates about
my grandma her admission her admission room number or phone number the next day my mom was able to
get through to the nurse the next day and the nurse stated that my uncle that my uncle was
having issues with his phone i really have no intention to be mean as everyone handles stress
differently i do feel bad though that i may have caused the lack of updates am i wrong for sending
this message would it be significantly better to have messaged him privately thanks and i love both
podcasts this is something i would have done it is i might have already done this uh i actually
did that do this let's just say i did this i did this i did this i had a cousin that was in uh the
hospital for covet as well and i was getting updates very much like this play by place play
by place it was a little different situation as he is was i don't know his status now an
anti-vaxxer so i was angry on many reasons but do you know how much more relatable you just became
you have an anti you had an anti-vaxxer in your life i do i do have an anti-vaxxer in my life
and so we were getting play-by-plays of what was happening in the hospital and so me and my
sisters sidebarred and we were like do you care no do you care no okay so they're like but i don't
know what to say i said don't worry i'll handle this i got this so i sent a message very similar
to what you said you know so I said if this is not an actual like life or death update if this
is not a change to his status then I don't care please stop messaging I sent it to the whole group
and it changed and do I think that this might have made your uncle feel pissed off and he stopped
sending actual updates that you needed probably but sometimes people got to be put in their place
And so now now that he's not sending actual updates, I would send him a private message and say, hey, you know, kind of like what you said here.
Like, hey, I know that, you know, what I said might have come off a little bit harsh.
And I'm sorry if you were offended, but it's just like there's a lot of things going on.
And I would just like to be like on the highlight reel and not if you wouldn't be today.
Yeah, I don't need a live stream.
Yeah.
part of me thinks it would have been better if you did this privately but i would also wonder
who is who i'm always big into like delegating so like if this is your uncle right are your
parents or guardians around like are they involved like who else is on this message
because if you do have it seems like her mom or their mom i don't know who the caller is their
mom yeah because my mom was able to get through the nurse so then my thing would be like
hey mom i'm gonna turn this on no notifications you let me you send me a message and let me know
if there are updates and like what those updates are because i don't know what the extent of where
your grandma is at but if he is the only person in that hotel room that i mean hotel room in the
hospital room that can be really isolating and like i understand yes everybody like deals with
stressed differently. But when someone is there in the thick of like a really clinical medical
kind of sterile setting and you're seeing presumably his mom hooked up to all of these
tubes and that stuff, like it doesn't feel it can feel really not human. And that then this is very
clear to me that like this is seeking human connection and not really knowing how to do it
and obviously has no kind of fun life update.
Like it doesn't have a way to kind of reach out.
So, you know, could have also been
that maybe he was kind of lonely before this happened.
And this is just to me, I read this and I go,
this should be two different threads,
but it's not.
And it seems like this is someone
who is taking the opportunity of people
who want to listen and be there,
that like this is kind of a very isolating
and lonely thing to kind of even if you're not being the caretaker and like there are nurses
and doctors when you are like the family member like that is a role that you play in the hospital
so at the same time I don't necessarily think if you messaged him privately it would have made
I think it still would have hurt his feelings but I think what I would have done is I would
message your mom and be like I'm swamped I have so much shit to do I can't scroll through these
and read these, I need to just like know like the actual update update and just send me those when
those happen. So, I mean, I would definitely reach out and apologize and be like, hey, I'm sorry if
that came across really harsh. Like I think we're all really stressed about this. And mine is just
kind of manifested in the sense that like I don't have a lot of time. And so I was feeling really
frantic trying when I had a minute to get away to scroll through and I'm unable to see what the
updates are. And I want to be able to look at my phone and quickly know if something has happened.
And every time I'm getting a text message from you in this group chat, my mind is going like something's happened and I'm getting really anxious of that. So like, I wonder if it would be possible if we could have two separate ones where it's like, you know, one where we all catch up and we can talk about things and like, I can send you a funny TikTok if I see that and like kind of reach out in a compassionate way.
and then we can have one where we're giving strict updates or maybe we do an email at the
end of the day or like something like that where you're not cutting off connection because he's
just i think it's just the wrong vehicle for this because this would piss me off too
yeah but yeah also i can't i've added coconut oil turmeric and zinc to my diet since getting
since covid are you making a curry with a shot of orange juice afterwards yeah also if you're
not doing black pepper with your tumor doesn't activate it nope yeah this would i also but i
also have friends like this like i have friends like this who like even if they're the ones going
through kind of medical things and i'm waiting for updates like from them specifically they'll
kind of do this and i understand i know it's them trying to like also calm themselves down and like
de-stress all of that stuff but like you just there needs to be two separate if you can't do
that then there needs to be two separate avenues yeah pawn that off on your mom i want what were
your mom's feelings about this was your mom like yeah i agree with you yeah because it doesn't seem
like you got like reprimanded by your mom yeah so she received minimal responses that also in
itself is kind of just sometimes those things resolve themselves yeah yeah thanks for writing
in again, send us your, but am I wrong to, but am I wrong pot at gmail.com.
Whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand, the high protein yogurt Oikos Pro
is there to feed your strength and help you turn every challenge into a smash.
Oikos Pro helps build strong muscles and support muscle recovery with high protein and contains no added sugar.
Because true strength isn't about being able to take the hits.
It's about being able to bounce back.
Oikos Pro. Feed your strength.
Visit oikos.ca for more details.
Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?
What work helped them build a life?
How did they adapt as the world around them changed?
With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free
for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree.
You've got questions. We've got ancestors.
Search free until August 31st.
Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply.
And now what is it time for?
Now it's time for But Are They Wrong,
a.k.a. Rachel of the Week, a.k.a. Wode of the Week.
This is when we will pick something in pop culture,
in the news, in the headlines, in our minds
that is something that's just happening in the zeitgeist.
And we nominate someone who is the worst person of the week
or, I mean, in the running for the worst person of the week.
So who you got?
I would like to nominate...
Sean Bean. And I just want you to know that every time I hear the name Sean Bean,
I do think of Mr. Bean. So when I first saw this trending on Twitter, I was like,
Mr. Bean said what? I thought of Bean from Even Stevens.
Beans. So you can imagine my surprise when I see Sean Bean says intimacy coordinators ruin
the spontaneity of scripted drama. And my mind went to when has Mr. Bean had a sex scene in the
movie? And I open it and I go, oh, no, this is Sean Bean. So this is from AV Club dot com. I
decided to pick this specific headline because I love how they worded it. It is because no one
asked. Sean Bean says intimacy coordinators ruin the spontaneity. I love AV Club. I've never I
don't think i've ever been out here before today in jesus who asked game of thrones and lord of
the ring star sean bean decided to throw the advertising campaigns of two massive tv shows
under the bus by sharing his awful opinion on intimacy coordinators so he told the uk times
of his frustrations claiming that intimacy intimacy coordinators inhibit him because
they're always drawing attention to things he finds it artistically stifling to have quote
unquote someone put your hand there while you touch his thing well we're sure that bean doesn't
want his scripted sex scenes to be a free-for-all his description sounds a lot like the relationship
between an actor a director and partnership which the director tells the actor to do something and
then the actor does their best to accomplish that task but lawrence oliver technique of try acting
after all is still on the table this is just like so maybe explain what an intimacy coordinator is
for people that don't know so an intimacy coordinator is someone who is hired and this
has happened in recent years um it has only become offered it is not industry standard it has only
become offered in the last five to seven years and one of the largest shows that has spoken about
how they would have benefited from an intimacy coordinator on early early seasons is game of
thrones the show that he was on so an intimacy coordinator basically comes in and there's also
some great intimacy coordinators on tiktok if anybody's like ever interested in industry related
job that is much more like psychological based like a lot of people have like psych degrees
and like they're like have backgrounds in like therapy and lots of psychology based instances
and things to to know how to implement that safely among people who are in a vulnerable state so
infancy coordinator comes in and for any scene that is romantic so it should be there for making
out, sex scenes, anything involving consensual or non-consensual sex within said script. So like
absolutely anything, not just romantic stuff, but anything that involves touching body parts,
even alluding to touching body parts. And they make sure that you have the right garments,
which is like privacy garments. So whether that's like pasties or strapless bras or whatever,
and they're not telling you what to do. They give you options. They look at this scene with a
director and they come up with various options they can do to do this but they're also there
to advocate for you if you are not comfortable doing something and then they can say that's not
happening we're not filming this they they do hold a lot of power they can't be like over
if you're hiring as an intimacy coordinator and you override them like you will get reported to
sag and that's uh never any production wants like that or whatever guild any any guild any guilds
that you will get reported for everything.
They will come to make sure that the actors are safe.
They will then investigate the director.
Like, it is not something you want to fuck with.
And I, as somebody who's had to do intimate scenes,
oh my gosh, how nice would it have been
to have an intimacy coordinator?
I've been incredibly lucky that the two times
that I've had to do one is me and Melvin.
And Melvin and I had to figure it out on our own.
And I was really lucky that it was with,
a close friend of mine who I felt like safe around who like he was there to make sure that like
he didn't want anyone else to see my bits like he he was there also looking out for me he wasn't
you don't and most of the time in these things it's usually the AFAB people who are the ones
who are in the most vulnerable state and so you know I was able to like rely on my male co-star
to also be there thinking about me and what how this we can do this and we're coordinating this
but also it is a little awkward and that's how lines can get blurred when you have two people
who are like okay how are we gonna make out and then you're just and make it look believable yeah
that we're into each other or not depending on what the script calls and now you're like making
out off the clock like practicing with someone you're like this feels weird because it also
doesn't feel like a part of my job and like this is just kind of awkward and then you're kind of
going through it and like trying to make it work but you also don't really know how much you can
advocate for yourself and like in one of the scenes that we had to do i remember i was told
that day. Hey, you're going to do this scene and like your shirt's going to be off and this is
going to be this, this and this. And I was like, what? And you're not supposed to do that. And
an intimacy coordinator is there to kind of make sure that you also as an actor know your rights,
know what you can say yes and no to and how things are supposed to go. And then the other time I had
one, it was like almost it was the vast majority. It was a female crew with a female director. And
so it was not in a circumstance in a situation. The set in itself as a whole from the very
beginning was made in a way that like you have agency over the choices you want to make and this
is a very safe place and like we are looking out for you always those are two massive anomalies
like and that is because everyone else essentially did the job of an intimacy coordinator and so
I think it was actually on the deuce oh yeah that's the second season of the deuce that was
like the first show to announce the employment of an intimacy coordinator and there are no
regulations without one. So like you basically have to go based on director's discretion of do
they want to have a closed set or are they okay with people walking in and out who don't need to
be there watching you perform like simulated oral sex and you're naked. And so an intimacy
coordinator is there to protect actors, to make them feel safer, and also to make the days go by
faster to plan ahead and accordingly and know what kind of garments you feel comfortable wearing
and be able to advocate for that and also know that like do you really want to spend even if
you really like your co-star but if the actual scene you're doing is a traumatizing scene that's
relating to sex that you're not doing that for 12 hours straight that they are looking at what the
what the footage that they are getting and they're making it clear that this needs to be wrapped up
quicker. There's also a lot of instances of really, really gross producers, directors,
people on crews and set who take advantage of being able to watch and tell actors to do something
sexual and self-gratify as that is happening. And you don't know that's happening when you are in
front of a camera. Like you don't have eyes everywhere. You can't see what people are
talking about. And that stuff happens even not in sex scenes. There always is going to be taking
advantage and just weird things and awkward things and not knowing that people are looking at you in
a certain way or people are filming you in a certain way. I had one person who was told a
camera operator who was a woman who was told to get a specific shot to pan up from. And she kept
refusing to do it. And it was on me. And she kept saying, no, I'm not going to do it. I need you to
come look at my frame. And they're like, well, just show it. And she goes, no, I'm not showing
video village. I come over here. Look at my direct frame. I'm not going to do it. And we're like kind
of in a precarious like location. They would have to like move. And they're like, I'm not going to
do it. And she snapped and she goes, so you want me to tell Megan, you want me to start the shot
on her boobs. And I was just like, and they're like, oh, oh, okay. We'll come look at this right
now. And that only works. And those instances happen when you have a woman who is comfortable
standing up to like 90% of the men on set, but it's also very hard to find a woman on a set
doing a crew related job. Who's going to be there next to an actor. Who's not in the makeup
department who's not in wardrobe who's not at crafty who's not someone you're like literally
in contact with close proximity all day every day so this is something that's been great that
they've done this amazing absolutely fantastic and he's gonna get out here and just be like
this is like really ruining the magic whoa it's not magic it's your job and i'll challenge that
by saying superhero movies action movies all these movies have lots of fight fighting combat
have stunts why is a sex scene or any intimate scene not considered in the same way as a stunt
would be and that's and it should be because it's you're putting people maybe in a situation where
they don't feel comfortable, you're coordinating how the situation will happen. So do you not feel
like when you watch a movie that has somebody getting punched where they're not actually
getting punched and that was choreographed by the stunt coordinator, do you feel like that
takes you out the moment as an actor? No. Also, Sean Bean, maybe you're not a very good actor.
or maybe you're a creep both both at that point like if you need I hate to break it to you all
of your co-stars haven't also been in love with you like did you think all of this was like real
and true and happening and intimacy coordinators relate their job a lot to like a stunt coordinator
and why it's really important and the biggest thing too that is like the difference which is
why I think intimacy coordinators are equally if not more important than stunt coordinators is
because when a stunt goes wrong everybody knows when an intimate scene goes wrong two people know
yep or one person knows and that's it and like there's not as many people around everything is
kind of far away also people want to give you like weirdly like your privacy and your space when
doing this when it's like no no this does need to feel as mechanical as possible because this is my
job like i don't want you to like take yourself out and be so far away that we get lost in that
like do that for like a really emotional scene where it's a lot easier to get to that point
because it doesn't you don't have all these cameras around but no in the sex stuff like
you're gonna show what 30 seconds of this right like what I hope that this drastically affects
how people view casting him in future projects and I last thing I want to add is okay he's I
think the natural way of lovers I think the natural way lovers behave would be ruined by
someone bringing it right down to a technical exercise it would inhibit me more because it's
drawing attention to things yeah if you are doing things you are not supposed to do and making
someone uncomfortable that yeah no rachel zegler tweeted she was 17 when she shot love scenes
with 25 year old ansel eglert for that for west side story i can't believe they still came out
with that saying intimacy coordinators establish an environment for safety of actor of safety for
actors i was extremely grateful for the one i had on west side story they showed grace to a
newcomer like myself and educated those around me who've had years of experience spontaneity and
intimate scenes can be unsafe wake up and jamila jameel said it should only be technical it's like
a stunt our job as actors is to make it not look technical nobody wants an impromptu grope no one
all right so mine is so there's this woman that was in anchorage alaska and she was in traffic
but it was at three i won't even say it's traffic she was driving at traffic at three 3 45 a.m
take it back she was driving at 3 45 a.m and was like leaving in and out of traffic and she got
pulled over by a couple officers officers nicholas bow and charles worland with impaired driving
enforcement unit when they did a traffic stop for her for weaving in the lane and she couldn't find
her driver's license and she pulled out a card that said this is my white privilege card also
this woman is not white oh my god you that i feel like you slapped me across one foot and in the
second i was processing that you slapped me on the other side like wait whoa whoa whoa the fuck
Yeah, she was there for, she was in Anchorage for a Trump rally, and I guess they gave away these cards or she bought it at some concession that was there.
Not only did, you know, she show that, then she went, they let her off because of it, because they thought it was funny.
Not all cops.
And then she posted about it on Facebook and bragged about it.
And then now everyone is in trouble.
If Mark Zuckerberg just leaned in and turned Facebook into like NARC book and like we're just going to rat everyone out.
Come on, collect, collect that coin.
So not only did she post about it, but she took video of it happening.
And on the video, the officers are standing outside of her car.
And she asks, you like my white privilege card?
And the officer says, that's hilarious.
So is she double agenting?
Or is she is this one of those things where it's like, no, like when someone does something absolutely ridiculous and bad and problematic and then they simultaneously take someone down with them and it ends up benefiting the other.
Wow. Wow. Unintentionally. That's like kicking the goal, the ball into someone and the other person's goal.
yeah she's not double agenting at all she's been seen like she's photographed in professional like
somebody found a professional photo of her at the trump rally and it is posted along with her
this article so she posted this on facebook with haha look at me and the cops i got off of my white
privilege oh my god and i didn't have my driver's license with me and they let me off wow maybe they
will just be their own demise holy shit do we have a picture of what the card looks like because i'm
assuming it's similar to like a business card if she didn't have her license and was going through
and that was because she had it in the video she definitely had it i saw it in another article hold
on let me try to find it this is actually like ridiculously funny to me that they would be like
having that at a trump rally because because they try to act like that as we've brought up
numerous times they're just a walking contradiction contradiction yeah exactly
where it's like oh but i thought white privilege didn't exist here it is of course it's black
enterprise that has it it looks like a credit card oh my oh my god and there's a picture of
her holding it up with the police officer video that she posted on we'll post it on our instagram
either on our story or on the static yeah and she i mean she has on like a trump hat
in the video she has so many flags on a ring on two rings on her shirt so what's happening now
this is from the article specific article that i'm reading now is from nbcnews.com and they
reached out to mimi israeli and she won't give a comment the officers said that they observed
observed no sign of impairment so there was no citation that was issued and then they looked up
to see if she had a valid driver's license in their system and she did so the investigation
regarding the incident is completed and is a part of a confidential personnel file that will not be
released publicly and of course not and another police spokesperson said both officers remain
employed by the department so nothing happened a surprise to absolutely no one holy shit
this is like something that mike sherwood right
what the fuck shit that's funny this is like how you know it's like so bad when people always talk
like about like woke culture of being like we can't say anything now like we can't do we can't
do all of this like you're making everybody walk on all of this and i'm like after cops have killed
countless black people they're not operating any differently like there there is none of that there
is no like oh well now we have now we're being watched like now we're being so work they don't
care there's not because there there is no repercussions especially within like actual
precincts in like those communities and even on a larger scale like there is no consequences like
nothing has changed in this nothing has changed in the grand schemes but i do want to highlight
that you know this week the officers that murdered brianna taylor have been charged and then the two
men that killed ahmad aubrey have been basically sentenced to life in jail so i mean there are
because they were charged with a hate crime so there there are repercussions but they're few
and far between and taking longer to happen than they should yeah i mean my viewpoint from what
i've read about brianna taylor's killers and i have no idea if this is like very off base but
from one to me that was like you said like there we have two instances where a semblance of justice
was it's not the new like precedent or whatever but that one specifically feels like we are
throwing specific cops under the bus you know we're giving them a much like to be fair like
like justly like the how what how they've been convicted and especially like the actual
terminology of how they've been convicted because most of the time it's like i don't know like
obstruction of just like things that are very like not clearly hate crime or like race-related
malicious intent there's usually just like oh on we got them on technicalities this one was very
much to me i'm like this is a these cops fucked up as they they are horrific horrible things
horrible people and you are using them because there is a much bigger grand scheme issue that
is happening there and that's similar how i feel about the school shooting in texas where it's like
not that someone's becoming a scapegoat because that implies that they had no
agency or they're being like unjustly crimes are being unjustly attributed to like that singular
person but i i that's how i feel about that that one that i'm like do you have precinct protocols
that are so bad that you're like having to are you trying to turn eyes away from us as this as a whole
because this is actually this is like way way way worse than anybody could have ever known
and then there was one case that ended up blowing up on everyone saw all of this and all the
attention was on here and so now you're like okay we're gonna give you that yep because that it
feels i don't want to say it feels too good to be true because it's not a good circumstance but
it feels it's like there was so much media attention we have to do something yeah this
won't be what will be the norm going forth yeah and even other other times there's been just as
much media attention it hasn't happened so like yep it is a little unnerving how little faith i
have in our justice system that i'm like what's the catch like what's the catch here because i
i don't trust them yeah there's no reason to trust them and also like if you got if you if
you were nailed down for all of these charges what are we not nailing you for like what did
we not know that you did yep because everyone's like oh they're just making an example and i'm
like i don't they don't do that no they don't they don't they don't do that with their own so
yeah wow wow wow not all cops not all cops
that's horrific absolutely horrific when did this happen on the 7th of july i didn't see
anything about this it just like it just became public information this week wow
holy fuck well that was our episode we feel like we need like some good news to sandwich oh i do
have something i mean it's not necessary it's good news because like we're honoring a legend
but serena williams announced today that she'll be retiring after the summer wow yeah i mean i
feel like we bring her up every episode so we got a close friend of the podcast so we were sharing
her close friends news that she exclusively told you yeah i feel like she probably is up there for
longest athletic career like playing at a professional level she's played when she was
a child that's what i mean probably because i would say tennis as far as i know like yes you
can be a professional swimmer but like it's kind of like olympics but like for tournaments and stuff
you have soccer players those people can play really really young yeah and tennis players and
you know gymnasts start really young but those careers aren't as long same thing with like
anything ice skating so i would think that she's probably up there yeah her longest professional
careers well if venus isn't retiring then she's gonna lap her because they've been playing the
same yeah but i would think they're probably both pretty high up there yeah she is on the cover of
vogue beautiful cover oh the blue dress yeah but when you open it olympia's at the end holding the
train for shut the photo we will also post this on our instagram this is the cutest thing i've
seen in my life yeah so it's kind of like i'm retiring but she looks stunning she's gorgeous
i'm sorry i mean to be fair now i'm just looking at every photo shoot image of her ever yeah but
congratulations to a legend a literal true goat she's someone that i think of that like has been
just someone I've known of like my whole life and I think that's so cool that I don't know that like
you know when you get to like like people talk about like living through like oh this was like
a legend like a legendary like yes I loved the Jonas Brothers and they're like it's like the
new Beatlemania but like there's something about like a female athlete who has been spoken about
at nauseam from like your entire life and have men being like oh no I could do and every time
just like handing their ass to them and like just over and over and over again it's just like
holy shit this is cool like your kids are gonna learn about this in like a textbook yeah that's
really cool and the way she announced it is Vogue like when someone like her who has been who Vogue
is considered like the highest of the high as far as like fashion and beauty magazines go and for
someone like her who has been talked about her entire career as being like unfeminine and un
like quote unquote womanly and like doesn't have this like great body when she's just solid muscle
this is like huge yeah no it it yeah that that puts it perfectly i didn't even think about what
the pinnacle of fashion and like uh unattainable luxury and glamour and all of those things like
that is what encompasses Vogue and what people have claimed that she doesn't fit forever even
though you could literally carve her body out of marble and put it in the Louvre and be like
you could touch both of them and you wouldn't know which one was harder no clue you'd be like
which one is a marble carving and which one is her abs she's ranked singles world number one
for 319 weeks including a joint record of 800 of 186 consecutive weeks how long has she been
playing are you gonna tell you you would think that would be the first thing in the article
her prize money she's first in all-time rankings her prize money is a million dollars is that in
total no there's no way yeah because i didn't even know that you went moth was telling me that
like about golfers and stuff about like how much they win each time yeah i was like wow she's only
five nine she seems that to me she seems taller to me probably because you're tall well no it's
just like you lie about your height i mean to be fair it's yeah but also at the same time actually
maybe i didn't think she was taller do you know how hard it is to have that much muscle at that
height yeah she has 23 grand slam wins she turned professional in 1995 you were born in 93 right
i'm 29 yeah i know how old you are now i know because i just looked it up 27 years
wow so yeah that that fits that i i've never known a world without like her yeah and she was
always like the best and she was like always the greatest i also just think that she's like a
wonderful example of um i don't know like when you get to see other athletes who who they say
they look up to and then you get to watch their athletic careers and you're like wow i can actually
see the serena williams inspiration or like shaping you yeah in that and like that's also
really cool because you're like wow this person is like now ending their career but like their
career has had a lasting impact impact on athletes that i'm now going to watch the rest of my life
and then they're going to have an impact on all that's just like really cool and especially just
because like there's not a ton of representation from like black women in sports and so like
and i think that she and venus both like ushered in yeah well i mean there's been others althea
gibson like was kind of that for venus and serena like bringing the mainstream into yeah that i mean
in tennis has always been like quote unquote like the rich country club like golf is too so there's
been a barrier for black people or non-white people to even enter it so yeah and i i think
that like you know you we even just looking at the olympics like you see how from american teams
could always be better but like you you see that it's not just all white people in every sport and
like you hear people on every sport say like this is who my inspiration was like yeah in like ballet
like misty copeland is like so many people who like aren't even ballerinas but like i saw someone
do something where I'd only seen white people do this before and like that made me think of
how the thing that I want to do in my life that I haven't seen people who look like me do
and so then it just like it starts like and it just trickles down to all of these other people
and I just she must be like so proud and like her kid I mean her husband like obviously Olympia's
dad and love because he should be because she's amazing but it I that kid is like well imagine
the child of a legend right i know that's so cool well hell yes serena williams maybe we can also
incorporate what's serena doing what's olympia's dad doing what's olympia up to yeah in our malala
segment malala friends of malala people who are going in the hall of fame yeah that's it for
episode we hope you enjoyed if you want to go leave a review on the podcast app please do we
appreciate it so much you can also support us on patreon we do video versions of the podcast so you
can watch our reactions and you can also join us for live streams we do live streams with the
don't blame me live stream crew and it's so much fun it's a great way to like be social
you also don't have to participate you can just watch you can talk you can come and feel
comfortable to talk you can also just watch them on playback get the vibe but um it's great
everybody is friends and it's a very inclusive and not intimidating community
the way you said it though kind of like made it seem like a cult i mean here's the thing everybody
you know if you want to you gotta get the gotta get a word in you gotta work to get a word in
that's it all right ready for a review yes five stars good from gracie 92 lou a podcast that
balances serious and frivolous topics. Perfect. Not wrong. This podcast is so refreshing and fun
to listen to while I also am able to gain new perspectives on topics. Megan and Melissa have
such great chemistry as friends, not to mention an absolutely stunning duo. We are stunning. Thank
you for noticing. And the topics they cover range from serious issues, social issues, and human
rice etc to more fun not so serious topics sprinkles printers or big milk
all their takes are correct and it would seem in fact that they are never wrong and have never
been wrong highly recommend to anyone also happy birthday megan thank you i really love when people
lean into like the they've never been wrong yeah oh fuck if you're still listening go comment on
the instagram i really have to pee so go comment i really have to pee on the instagram people are
gonna be like what the fuck we hope you all enjoyed the episode and we will circle back next
week goodbye but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demonts plus diamond
imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson
Thank you.
