Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Dueling Kids Parties

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

But Am I Wrong: Meghan: We should know less about each other Melisa: Scary Uber ride But Are You Wrong: Person standing the whole concert Scheduling a birthday party on someone else's birthday But Are They Wrong Meghan: Dax Shepherd Melisa: Bevspeaks Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi. Welcome to another episode of But Am I Wrong, starring two people who have not once ever been wrong. We've been hot. We've been gorgeous. We've been smart. We've been eclectic. we've been hilarious we've been aspirational but we've never been wrong we've been gassy we haven't been wrong god well sorry triggering for you it's an aspiration for me i would love to be a little gassy shay it wasn't even that just imagine yourself sitting in a class that you're not a class a group that you're supposed to be leading and you're like I got this I got five minutes when I tell you the first time you told me you were going to do this I said what happens if you get diarrhea and you said I don't know I'm not worried I'm always worried about having it was

my fault because yesterday I had a recording in person that wasn't at my home I had to go to that place and i was like i have no groceries so i'm gonna stop at trader joe's on the way but i was so hungry too yeah and there's no trader joe's like really in a straight shoot at all yep and so i ended up i was like i'm gonna take the streets because we've ended at 4 30 so not getting on a highway no especially on the east side so i'm like i'm gonna take the streets and that way the closest trader joe's was the one at usc and you did this to yourself i did and i was it took me an hour to get there and i was starving and so and i was like maybe if i just eat i got one of the wraps and i was like if i get just eat the chicken out the inside of it i'll be fine it was

fraternizing with the enemy well i i i feel bad for your bowels um but i will say i i'm hoping for some of that energy for myself desperately i hope for you too i promise we won't keep talking about pooping but if you want to hear us talk more about pooping just subscribe because like you want to listen to all of the episodes like we're we we keep you up to date you're talking to two people who cannot digest a lot of things and do you think you have ibs in general i don't really know the definition of i know it's irritable bowel syndrome but i don't know really what it is and it seems like everybody has it in some form anyway so like why put a label yeah no it's just like my tummy is angry and there's nothing i can do but when i was in houston i mostly just ate

meat everywhere it's so much better stomach was stomach was perfectly fine i know get a little backed up but like perfectly fine yeah delicious well um yeah subscribe to the rest of our shows because it's always it's a topic of conversation at all times but this show if you're new here this is but am i wrong where we pitch things in our own life circumstances situations hot takes that we're like hey are we wrong whatever but then we read your submissions from one of our other segments we tell you if you are wrong and then finally we also talk about pop culture and current events and all of it is under the umbrella of who is wrong and we give our input but you also to give your input you also get to get get to give your input sorry i didn't enunciate that

very well you can head on over to our instagram stories where we post all of the segments and all the things we talked about on the episode so you can vote who you think was wrong and then on our friday episode which is titled fisting friday you can also send in your thoughts spelled with a ots or with the other one i can't remember how to spell the other way off the top of my head and we will read those aloud and it's a good time it's a wonderful time but we'll get into each of like what the segments are specifically before we do them but just know it's um ethical shit talking or and requested solicited shit talking and also just shit talk good how are you doing i didn't i didn't ask you like how your weekend was we didn't get into it on see you next

tuesday my weekend was great my in-laws were in town they literally just left today we have a new member of the family our niece was born and she's adorable she's a little chonkster which is shocking and surprising because her brother was he was very tiny and very alien like when he was born so she's got like chubby cheeks she's like just she's she's she was she was cooked he was not as he was a little undercooked before she's adorable it's fun we hung out a lot of family hanging out and then matzah's parents have just like come over and hung out here with us and then i also did a little bit of fall decor shopping for transforming well i ordered something from bezos emporium and some cute stuff and then matzah's mom also got me these like little halloween lights

and our neighbors are like very into halloween and so i looked over this morning and i was like these bitches have fully decked it out and i'm about to be like where'd you get half like i need you they're like creatives but halloween is like their holiday like they and they weren't they didn't live here last halloween so they one of the first things we met them they asked they're like what was halloween like here and i was like the best day of my goddamn fucking life so i'm looking forward to it but everyone's got like cute halloween decorations like it's it's starting i'm excited i'm pretty excited so yeah that's pretty much what i what i did and then I also I haven't posted it yet hopefully by the time this is out I will have posted it which

means I would have gotten more work on it I saw someone who is using procreate to make um a little digital scrapbook thing with their photos and like draw not just on the photos but like collage and scrapbook the photos and so I started doing that which was fun but yeah that's pretty much it I'm mad at sprouts because they haven't had like any of my snacks for a really long time I'm sorry did you try ordering it on the app and they bring it from a different store i could probably do that but i'm lazy oh and then i tried to build the light and i was looking at the image upside down the whole time and turns out it was a standing light when it was meant to be the ceiling light and monster's like why does this have a plug and i was like oh i was looking at the picture upside

down maybe ikea accepts returns with receipts did i have a receipt no but i had an ikea family card and i took a picture of where the bin was like on the thing so like when the day that i was buying it so i had the day that i bought it and my family card so everybody get an ikea family card because it was returned in 0.2 seconds flat i have one and i got a christmas tree i set it up yesterday and i was like i hope to and like you've set it up yesterday hold up i set it up in our big bay window and i was like i hope our fucking neighbors don't see me being like bitch what are you doing everyone is just pulling out their halloween decorations but i ordered it from target and it was one that i also saw on wayfair but we needed one like the one we had from our old

place that we used last year is far too fucking big for this house and so they were still on sale now and like full stock and so i was like i want to get it and then if i don't like it i can return it in store and then buy another one that's still on sale because it's not christmas tree season yet and i liked it i took it down and put it back in the box you went through all that effort yeah it would have taken me a lot longer to like take it down once his parents were there so i was trying to be like i've got it together i'm glad that you did things that you enjoy thank you shall we get into the episode now i think it's a wonderful amazing life-changing idea you're up for but am i wrong and that's when we share things either from our personal life hot takes rants that we'd

like to present to everyone and uh we'll vote on if it's wrong or not mine is a hot take slash rant okay and it is merely just a sentence we should know less about each other comma i agree unless Guess what I'm finding out is juicy or morbid gossip, because it feels like right now people are telling us things that I don't need to see. I don't need to hear. But then there are other things I go. Why did you remove all the pictures of you and your husband on social media? And I'm going to have to deep dive like I'm going to figure all this stuff out like you inherited a whole lot of money. I would like to know which family member has passed and how they accumulated their wealth. Like there are those things there. But you and I don't need to see is people just

sharing absolutely everything, which is that rich coming from me? Yes. But I think about the things I'm sharing beforehand. And I think in the age and era of TikTok, people don't, they know conceptually that any video can blow up. And so they're willing to go through great lengths to kind of blow up. But then they, there's not, no offense, there's not a lot of hard work put into that it's just kind of like a concept and a notion that it happens and they go oh fuck i actually don't like this this is really scary and really hard and the two examples no offense as if i had done this no no not at all but like this spurred from two things first we've all seen the video melissa sent it to me cruel woman the love surge video which i feel bad for that moment

where i go that is an inside thought like there are if someone filmed matz and i that is one of those things that like i would never put that on the internet because i'm like you know when you're being gross and cringy as a couple but like other people don't need to see that uh i don't feel better for it at all did you watch the other videos on their channel no because as soon as you said to me i removed it that's the kind of videos that they put on their channel like okay well then she cried about it and here's the thing i don't need to know this about you because if i know this about you there are certain things that like you have to read the room know the audience but also if you put something into the ether you don't know how people are going to react and like

you know how you filter some of the information you tell maybe your parents or your friends or your co-workers the internet is not promising that they are not going to make fun of you to your face like so to me i'm just like don't share that don't share that we all do gross annoying cringy things as a couple and like matz was like this is disgusting he goes someone could probably film us and we'd be just as good but like we would i was like yeah we would never fucking film that like would never put that online and then the second one was a girl i think it was started on twitter but she no it was no it started on instagram where she did a video being like my boyfriend and i like i've been living together for a couple years and like just like a little

life update um he has moved out and we're still together like our relationship isn't changing or anything like that but like you know his brother graduated college and like him and his brother like always you know they've always wanted to live together and so like now they're gonna like live together and it doesn't mean anything about our relationship and i'm like nobody needs to know this because now you have hundreds of thousands of people being like girl what also from what i heard from through comments and how other discourse about this these brothers grew up together they lived together for at least 18 years so or not at least but like potentially over 10 years and so it's like they've already done this like we're just backtracking in this you don't have to

address everything like you the same kind of energy that these people give of gatekeeping where they got their genes we don't need to know everything about all of this because then when you turn around the internet and you're like oh my god how could the internet be so mean i'm like i am so sorry you handed us you handed me a bomb and then you said don't throw back and i'm like i'm like underhand fucking soft ass pitches here that like yes people are knocking on the park like it's not even people need to try very hard to make fun of you when you give them all of this just stop just stop but tell us the things we want to know about if you have a secret boyfriend no i want to know who that boyfriend is it's not a secret anymore that's what i'm saying like if

it's a secret let me figure it out give me like make sure that i can figure it out in one to three clicks like i want that like how did you make your mass amounts of wealth tell me oh my husband has committed tax fraud like that's that that is the stuff i would like to know but like give me the juicy stuff or give me not at all so i agree that's mine i agree there's even like just thinking about people that i like went to school with at any point in my life if the internet wasn't around i'm never supposed to see those people again they shouldn't know what's going on in my life either but we shouldn't know how many celebrities don't bathe their children i saw this video like two days ago where somebody was like the professional nanny was like

yeah they may not be bathing their children but we're doing it for them so that's what it is she's like those children they have they're like our kids don't stink and they're like yeah why do you think they don't think we're exactly yeah and it was somebody that said she worked for somebody famous in the same way so their children are getting faith if i was a child and then i grew up i'd be like why'd you get up in there and tell them that like i have a dirty ass yeah when i didn't i was literally getting bathed every day by my nanny while you were off doing what i don't know not bathing yourself since you think it's okay attending scientology meetings womp uh but i i i agree with you people that look the love search person their whole account is cringe it's

a lot of stuff then why did she cry i don't know i think because that one was the one that people were actually responding to and they probably didn't have that much attention until people saw that one and then she was living her life as normal then that one got a lot of traction and that's what they do in there every day yeah people think the internet is a safe space and i like firmly believe like the only things that you should put out online are things that you'd be comfortable with your best friend and your arch enemy knowing like and if they both say good or bad things about it it doesn't doesn't change like you should be able to stand by what you're saying regardless of who the audience is yeah but it's it's something you have to learn

and the love surge is a lesson write it in the books well you're not wrong thanks here's mine it's a real catch-22 here where did that phrase come from i'll google it so i i gave all the details most of the details about my um business trip this past weekend to houston and i happened to be in town the same weekend that beyonce's concert was so i got tickets and so coincidence here i know and so while i was there on my way to the concert we got an uber so on the way to the concert we got an uber as one does it was the first lady you're like yay we got a lady because we've been there the whole weekend and hadn't seen a lady Uber driver. We get in and she's like, let me check your bags to make sure you have the right ones for the concert. I'm thinking,

yeah, a real girl's girl here. And then she starts talking about how the people that she picked up yesterday for the concert had like these big designer bags and they had all these like different outfit changes because they were going to do like a photo shoot. And she was like, your bags are going to be thrown in the in the trash they're like really and then she said that she pulled up the information and read them and then they went back in i was like cool thank you for the story so we're driving along and then she proceeds to tell us that she has and by us i mean my friend katherine proceeds to tell us that she has a medical condition in which she shouldn't be driving shut the fuck up and she said that she went to the doctor and the doctor and according

to her the doctor said it was just a state of mind if she should be driving or not can we give the precursor that you have things like you get stressed about that but specifically other people in charge of the transportation that you are riding in is like up top there with melissa's worst like worst day ever you don't even like to be a passenger in someone else's car when you're riding shotgun like you like to know driver i like to be the driver or in the backseat but i prefer to be a driver because i like to have control of the situation but i do you know uber a lot and i have on my uber i have it sets to don't talk to me but katherine had ordered this one and i think because the the reason i have it like that i i love a good chit chat when you know it's not

somebody who knows where i live and um you know might start sharing too much personal information and i'm like oh no you don't need to have all my information you know if we keep it so no one's talking there's no sharing of information from anyone but i'm actually glad this woman shared because she she just kept talking on and on and on and said that the week before or no it was a month before she had been in a car accident and she just got her car back a couple days before and so she had been hadn't been driving all that time and also that it was she had bought a used car and she was like and two of the tires are bald as we're getting on the highway she's like Yeah, I'm going to get them changed later.

What? We should know less about each other. What are you supposed to do with that information? What am I supposed to do? What, like, truly, what am I? And then she's like, giving us all this information about how she's her father's primary caregiver,

even though he lives in, like, Iowa, somewhere in the Midwest. I think she said Iowa. But I'm, like, terrified for my life. Me and Catherine are exchanging looks. We're on the highway, so it's not like we can just get out and saying that she drives to go get him and we're like you told us that you have you're not supposed to be driving and you've gotten a car last month

and she's also telling us about her boyfriend who is also an uber driver and they have like little romantic time where they'll pull over and then he calls and she puts him on speakerphone And it wasn't like he was really saying anything, but it was just the fact that she's taking a call on speaker while she's driving and giving us all this information and on ball tires. Ma'am, is this the boyfriend who you rendezvous with in parking lots? Yeah. And I just don't think that I should know all this information about this woman and then my safety is in jeopardy. but a real catch 22 here the john quinones dilemma what would you do we ended when we got to a place where we could get out the car which was only a few like a it would have been just like another

block we just got out and we're like thank you like the way we hopped out this car was i'm glad she could make a full stop on those bald tires luckily because everybody was going to the concert she was we were just creeping along anyway so it wasn't like she was speeding down the street so we just hop out the car and kind of just like grab each other like we survived we survived but through all this she told us she was like if i didn't drive i wouldn't know how i would make money doing uber and she said she was like this is how i pay for my health care and all this information she's like i don't like i truly don't know how i would make money so if you were in this situation and this is how we're going to pose it

to everyone if you were in this situation would you report them to uber for safety reasons because them driving is a hazard to both themselves, the people in the car and other people around? Or do you not say anything because then she won't have a job? Well, here's where ADHD plays in really well for me is if I don't, if I say I'm going to think on it, it leaves my brain. And so in the likelihood possibility, I probably would not report not because I think that's the right thing to do, but because I would think on it and then I would forget to do it so i don't have to make a decision in that even though that in itself is making a decision i don't know what i would do in the end because i think i would probably in the moment

suggest like have you ever heard of doing like toro where you can like rent your car out and other people have or drivers on and i mean it's not great but she wouldn't be able to rent that car out in the condition that it was in because toro does an inspection of the cars oh fair i mean see i also kind of operate in the sense i'm like if you're telling me about this you you were handing me information knowing that what i can do with said information versus someone who's like being like someone who's shady who's like hiding all of that stuff i'm like you're out here saying something about it how was she as a driver terrible she also said that i would have she also said that which i forgot to mention now that you say that she also said i've been reported many

times to uber for reckless driving and i always respond back are they from houston because if they're from houston they know that this is how we drive in houston no then i'm a reporter i report anyone who's a bad driver yeah like if you're a bad like here's the thing if you are a victim of circumstance and like you don't have money to fix up your car but like you are a stellar we've all gotten in cars where it's like i hope this makes it and then you go i would trust you with my life like if you're not you can do both you're not that's not a victim of circumstance that is also like i'm not skilled at this thing that i have to do but then if she doesn't drive then she can't pay for her doctor bills according to her well also my other question is if she's a

primary caretaker for her father she should be getting government payments for that she should but she doesn't live in the same state as him so she's using the money to take care of him oh you know yeah no i would report it yeah i agree that's what i said to do but it wasn't my account so we'll see i'm gonna remind katherine because we like we got out the car and literally like grabbed each other afraid for our lives yeah no i i report any any uber driver that is a poor driver and it's like or they're like very aggressive and they're yelling at people and i'm like don't want to get shot like i have zero desire to do that and like this is not the instance that i wanted that that was terrifying yeah also i just think like

getting in anyone's car who's from the city and you're not there like i can guarantee any tourist who comes to la we could get in the same uber uber and they're shitting their pants and i'm like totally fine i'm used to it but like when i'm in a new city we're zipping and zagging stressful as hell which i will say houston drivers probably worse than east side la drivers but sorry west side are so much worse disagree they're too slow so they like don't know like the second that things like decisions have to be made they're the people who like don't or like when you get up to order and they go oh what's on the menu and it's like oh my god see i'm fine with that like people on the east side don't look don't put on blinkers they know where they're

going and they're gonna get where they're going they're gonna get there fast yesterday i was on the 10 or the nope 110 no shot you were on the 134 okay maybe it's the five um but where where it's like take these exits to go downtown anyway that place right there there was an aston martin that got hit by a semi but like their car was fine but they just didn't move the car to the side of the road they were just sitting in the middle of the street backing up traffic for no reason because they didn't want to move their precious car yeah that's an aston martin problem and this is why anytime you meet someone specifically men with fancy cars you say oh my god i love mazdas and they go this isn't a mazda and it's got the little m

cute and then for aston martin you go oh acura adorable those are so cute i don't know they still made this is this the one with the commercial with little gerbils they're gonna lose their mind gaslight gaslight people out of having these crazy expensive cars if you have a car like that get your ass off the fucking freeway get your ass off the freeway that's a car you drive like in on the coast that's it get a drone drive it on the coast then turbo that shit like do not put this on the freeway and then get upset when freeway when freeway shenanigans happen to your car yeah that's a cruising car you don't put a cruising car on the highway especially in la when you're start stop go start stop all right we're gonna take a break and we get back we'll get into

but are you wrong we're back from our break and it's time to get into our next segment which is but are you wrong and this is where you listeners will write in with your predicament your situation where you would like us to be the jury and the judge and we tell you if you are wrong so if you're under words or less please um it is all anonymous but include your age and if you want to do some and aliases for the other people involved in the story, please do so. Oh, and send it to but I'm a wrong part of gmail.com. I was listening to an episode from July about a concert about concert etiquette and it reminds me of something that happened in August. My boyfriend and I went

to a concert in Atlanta. It was a theater, so it was a fully seated venue. Almost my entire section stayed seated for about 60% of the concert. We were all getting up for the more hype songs and sitting down for slower stuff. Everyone was still having fun while seated, but the person directly in front of my boyfriend stood up the entire time. She stood up at the start of the first song while everyone stayed seated. My boyfriend got a little frustrated but waited until breaking songs while the artists were getting water to ask the woman if she would mind sitting down. She got upset immediately and told him he should just stand up and enjoy the concert. He explained that he would but he couldn't without blocking more people's views. She just scoffs and turns back around.

A few songs later, the woman behind my boyfriend tries to get the attention of the woman that's standing because her view is getting blocked too. She asks her if she would mind sitting down because her view is blocked. The standing woman gets mad and kind of sits on her chair. You know how theater seats full done to sit she was sitting on it while it was still up so still a good torso higher than the people behind her after one song she was back to standing should she have sat down or were we being unreasonable she should have sat down strong belief she should have sat down can she see is someone in front of her because my question is if you can't see if you can see seated or standing why would you want to stand so that other people can't see these people also

paid for tickets you know i might have a controversial take on this i mean my i've said it before and i'll say it again but i think we need to have sections that are not just like oh standing and seated in the sense that like you have a seat or you don't but like in the sections we should have sections that are we are all going to sit while this is we're here and so therefore if you stand like you have to go somewhere else and versus then one that's like intermittent standing and sitting and then ones that are like we're gonna just stand the entire time because it is mobility issues like i'm not someone who can stand up like the whole time and we all paid to go but the issue is is then i also think like it's kind of domino effect where

it's like if one person is standing and then that person can't see then they stand up and then the other people can't see and so it's you're asking one person to like sacrifice their view for other people to have their view i don't think that's like a i think that's kind of a more of a difficult choice but i think if you don't have to stand and if you have to stand for like you know mobility things like you need to like stretch out tell the people who work there and they they will let you like you know stand off a little bit towards the side every couple songs if you need to stretch your legs and then sit back down it's my belief system i personally believe that i would enjoy concerts more if everybody sat down me too but i understand that like in the same way that that

person that was standing at that Adele concert and she was like let them stand I want to know who the artist is was because it's 40 that's a big chunk of people and you're saying that y'all are getting hype y'all people are standing up on more of the hype songs but like what if all the songs are her hype songs so it's like what's the justification of it there if y'all are standing like are the hype songs ones that are just like the ones that everybody knows from the radio or is she somebody that listens to all the cuts and so like all of it was her jam and if people were standing for or they're like for a lot of it then I feel like maybe y'all just weren't big fans as she might have been you're making me realize that they did stand up for other songs

it's just you were deciding which songs you were down to stand up for oh yeah no yeah you're right you're right you're right you're right that this is a this is a it's a taste and preference issue yeah so if every song was her hype song so she's just supposed to sit down when y'all sit down so that's not fair to her so either like i could understand if y'all were sitting most of the time then cool like then you have that argument but you were only sitting on the songs that you were hype about and so she still has to follow your lead when you're behind her i don't think that's fair to her no that's a good point because that at taylor swift like i was saying i was stoked that the people in front of me seemed to have similar taste and as i did but they were like

sometimes a person would stand up but i'm standing up for the songs that i wanted but i'm also being like oh you're sitting down cool i can sit down and also still enjoy my view but yeah i wouldn't be there's no way i could ask someone because i'm also stating at other points then it's you're right that that doesn't it's not there there's your argument doesn't hold as much weight there because you're being like can you actually sit when i want you to sit so i'm gonna say that you were in the wrong i probably would have done the same thing that you did in the sense that like those the songs they probably would have sat at and i probably would have been like i wish she had the same taste and i wish she was sitting but like that would be the extent of it because

that's just wishing someone had the same favorite songs as you wow and suddenly i'm on melissa's side now welcome it's nice to be here all right next one hello ladies my sister scheduled her daughter's first birthday party on my son's actual birth date she is fully aware that they share a birthday month and she won't change her daughter's her daughter's party date because they already reserved a space at the park. I had planned on doing my son's party on his actual birthday since it falls on the weekend. She had suggested that we do a group party, but I don't want to do that since I know that all the attention would be on the one-year-old and not my three-year-old. Am I wrong for being mad and wanting to still set up my son's birthday party on his actual birthday?

Absolutely not. She was wrong. Like she's just point blank wrong. I have nieces whose birthdays are one day apart, big age gap, but they are one day apart. Like they, one's on the 15th, one's on the 16th. And whoever's birthday is like on that Saturday, if it's on a Saturday, then that's that person's birthday party. You don't schedule another birthday party on it

unless one's in the morning and one's in the evening. And so like that, you get first dibs on your actual birthday, point blank period. And that was very inconsiderate of her and inconsiderate of her nephew, too. That's mean. Yeah. May the best birthday party win.

Like, I would still throw the birthday party on the same day. And I think the issue is, is that like you if you're going to like die on this hill, you have to understand that like some people might pick that birthday party over your son's birthday party. and the i know he's only three you said but like the level of petty that like it might feel like a big get back to your family or friends or whatever because you're still gonna throw on the same day if you do a vibe check and you find out that some people who you know he would really want to be there aren't going to be there then pick a different day because i just don't think it's fair to use your because like you it might not think he won't remember but like it's just it then there's tension around him it has nothing to do with him but like a kid will feel that and

other you you're not gonna take it on your kid but like other people might and it's just he didn't ask to be a part of like a petty vendetta the same way a one-year-old didn't and so i think if you can't have a birthday party where you know that the people that he would want to be there and the people that you really want to be there for him aren't going to be there then i would pick another day and but still be pissed off as fuck and be like yeah i thought that was really shitty of her yeah because i don't i think like if you're able to like if theirs is in the afternoon maybe do it a little later because the family members are gonna then have to pick like the other people in the family so i just don't want i wouldn't want to put them in that situation

and you didn't put them in the situation your sister did but i just think like being a bigger person for your kid is the move but she sucks well and because the sister can say i asked her if she wanted to share the date for the birthday but she didn't so like i don't think you should do that i still think what she did was fucked up but she can she can say that and use that and you obviously know your family better family members better than we do but like i could see that very quickly becoming like she's painting a specific narrative of you being difficult and other people might be susceptible to that and view it as like a kind thing that she offered to do when i don't it's not i'm sorry that's terrible yeah i'd be pissed also what is a birthday party

for a one-year-old that you have to book it's like a big ass she's not good the thing is the child isn't even gonna remember it all right well that's it for but are you wrong now we're gonna take a break we are back from our break and it is time for but are they wrong i'm dreading this because this is one of those things about somebody who unless I can testify I've hated this person for a very long time you have but like this isn't a satisfying thing this is like oh god this person has been doing this on a platform in public for a very long time and like nothing's happening about it so I would like to nominate Dax Shepard Dax Shepard has a podcast with Monica Padman who I

love Monica Padman and I started listening to the podcast and I really liked her and I tried my best to continue listening and I stopped years ago and Melissa will literally even make jokes of being like you know that one guy you hate and I mean sometimes it's David Dobrik sometimes it's Zach Shepard like there is I said I was like I stopped listening there's something about this man there is something about him that is I'm not cool with and I like like a lot of the guests he has on I like a lot of the people there but like I there's something about him there is something about him so he recently came into the news because on his podcast armchair expert he had jonathan vaness jvn from queer eye and if you see any of the headlines basically they're talking and pretty

quickly on and i'm gonna a lot of this is from a buzzfeed article titled let me give a shout out to the writer of this because i will say i read a cosmopolitan article about this and at the end they're like listen to the full podcast here and i was like i also was not liking how you're recapping this and then i was like let me go over to buzzfeed and i was like there we go these are the this is the descript these are the adjectives i like to hear these are this is this is right and we're not ending this by promoting listen to the full up which is essentially implying we'll listen to it in context um and it is by leila muhammad leila muhammad titled back dax shepherd and jonathan finesse had an incredibly heated discussion about trans rights and gender

affirming care and it left jonathan in tears this basically all started because jonathan had said that in their belief system that uh they think that right-wing ideologies are really stemmed from a lack of education dax disagreed stating that people on the right simply quote-unquote have a difference of opinion they are conservative they don't like how quickly the country's changing i understand that i can sympathize with that they have different fears than we do it's not because they're dumb or uneducated they have a difference of opinion jonathan then was like well misinformation disinformation also plays a huge role in their thinking especially when it comes to gender affirming care and access to abortion so then it led into a debate quote-unquote debate

about the political leanings of the new york times which is more right-leaning or left-leaning and jonathan argued that it was far more right because of the anti-trans content that the new York Times has been writing which is factually just true that's not a basis of opinion that is anyone who has followed like that is what they are writing and said they're anti-trans they platform multiple anti-trans people and this is where thank you BuzzFeed they gave them the reference for reference the New York Times has previously been called out by GLAAD for it's inaccurate biased coverage of trans people and 10,000 not 10,000 I can't read numbers a thousand new york times contributors and tens of thousands of subscribers signed an open letter condemning

the outlet's coverage of transgender transgender identity so dax didn't agree with that and suggested uh that the support of trans rights is a quote-unquote huge spectrum and that the publication was simply quote-unquote challenging the ideas around trans rights such as you know the access for teens to receive hormone blockers which again there are cis kids who receive hormone blockers and when or hormone like when we get to a certain age what pretty much everybody is on some form of hormone then dac said the whole notion that to be critical or to even think or to even question it makes you the enemy i don't think that's the way forward and jonathan then responded saying i feel like i'm talking to my dad and started to go on and discuss like the

the dangers of the misinformation when it comes to trans people and then it got into the topic of trans athletes and saying what the right-wing media has been portraying that trans athletes are absolutely completely dominating all that was like this is just not true and this is if you're believing that and hearing that and regurgitating this information is you are hearing like propaganda and anti-trans coverage that this is not based in fact but it is being reported in fact from publications essentially that you're viewing as left-leaning and like this is what i'm telling you like this is missing missing disinformation so and then saying all i'm saying about what we know about misinformation and disinformation is when you

have an outsized reaction to something there's a good chance that you're being exposed to misinformation and disinformation and a lot of the rhetoric around the anti-trans backlash it does have a lot of misinformation and disinformation in it i'm not calling you a transphobe you cannot be transphobic and still have thoughts that espouse exposed trans misogyny and exposed transphobic ideologies and beliefs this went on for more than 20 minutes of this conversation and talked about again trans kids and athletes being in sports and jonathan said that like i'd love we could talk about this in depth on my podcast which is a much better format to have these conversations um because coming in as the guest with all of the knowledge and information

into a space that is like clearly not safe for that and like wants to challenge that is like not not safe at all for jonathan specifically and then dax apologized for the tangent and said did not he not intend to start a heated debate i adore you i think that you're hysterical and talented and i love that you're an activist which all of this all of this shit um made jonathan cry saying i could just cry because i'm so tired of having to fight for little kids because i just want to be included. I just wish that people were as passionate about little kids being able to be included or grow up as they were about fictitious women's fairness in sports. I have to tell you, I am very tired. I'm scared of the vitriol that trans people face every day. And I'm really glad

this is getting a lot of people talking about this and writing this because it has had a lot of people who have listened to Armchair Expert much longer than I have come out and say, this man is trash. I was picking up on bad vibes and little sprinklings, but not any of these things so let's get into what he has done so he did an episode talking about taylor swift and goes on to be like why does john mayer get shit for dating people but like not taylor and then says she collects famous men then monica brings up you've dated more famous people than taylor and then he's like no no no and she goes no dax like i know you personally like people in public the audience doesn't know everybody you've dated a lot of people publicly but like you've dated far

more people privately like you've done that then he starts um changing the goal post and being like well no no it's just like you know i understand that slut shaming is like real for women but why does taylor swift not get any of this heat and then like john mayer gets all this heat and it's like first of all she gets so much heat what are you talking about john mayer doesn't get virtually any heat and he's like no no he does and then monica brings up well no it's mostly a large bit of it is about the age difference and he said well he dated jennifer aniston oh okay so because a guy dates one woman over 40 therefore he has never actually dated anybody who was up an alarmingly young age like it's like pemdos it cancels each other out it's like literally sir

no not once ever and then he brings up about how he did it ashley olsen and was like but ashley you know ashley was not a normal 20 22 year old like she like she'd already started fashion like she'd all this stuff basically to imply that if you've lived enough life you are your brain is essentially fully developed and like so therefore you're a science medical marvel and it's like oh you're using this to defend ahead of the time already about how these age gaps not really and he was like well into his 30s when he was the same argument that chloe used when kylie was dating all those men when she was like 16 dating grown men that was the same argument that chloe used no when i have friends who've dated guys who are way older and i know the reason they've dated them

because we're older is because they had to grow up way too fast it is not a so it's fine i'm going like so this is how we got here yeah like as i've said the olsen twins had countdowns to when they turned 18 there were men literally waiting even ashton kutcher made a joke about it too speaking of guess who's besties ashton kutcher they look like they'd be best friends yep he's who got him his first big break i guess he was on punked or something like that um and then someone was making a tiktok commenting about this and someone commented being like they're not really friends and like his like dax's true friends like aren't famous people i click on the profile it's this guy who's like a server like he does like serving content like i train servers i click on his

instagram this man is at every i'm sure he was the one taking the photo at that long ass table with all of the white people on the dock and shit like he's at every holiday he's on every trip with kristen and dax like he's there and i'm like the whole thing you took away from this information is that he's not that close to bastian country like that's the only part you're gonna comment on like good god so also he's been uh in an interview someone asked kristen bell like oh how often like you two married like you must be laughing all the time kristen she's like oh i'm laughing like all the time he's so funny he makes me laugh and they said dax you so lucky to be with such a funny woman like she's so funny he goes i mean she's not funny like she doesn't make me laugh excuse me

excuse me also allegedly she cannot get tattoos because he does not find them attractive on women uh-huh uh-huh so then we get into the kelly clarkson episode and when i tell you my jaw was on the fucking floor and when i googled this melissa nobody wrote about this that people on tiktok are the only people i've seen the i was looking up articles and the only articles were coming up was kristen bell lets her kids um drink non-alcoholic beer and i'm like why can't there's nothing about kelly clarkson in this i'm searching dax shepherd aren't her expert kelly clarkson nobody was writing about this so thank you to like the i saw probably a dozen tiktok tiktok's like about this specifically i will be shocked if this episode is not pulled

by the time that like this episode comes out so kelly clarkson's on which america's true sweetheart like the the the absolute most beloved woman in the whole world so the fact that like they didn't pick and like she gets written about so much so like the fact that this is not being written about anywhere makes me think that it is intentionally not being written about like people are not letting them write like of all the people to write about you do headlines about what kelly clarkson's talking about like she's talking about a divorce she's talking about all this shit there is nothing nothing so the specific context for this um apparently came from like a different episode where dax and monica were talking about this and then it gets and people the audience

was uncomfortable with it and then it gets brought up again on the episode with kelly clarkson so i don't know the official lead up into this conversation so it's gonna sound really fucking stark i'm gonna assume it's the by the nature of what this is like i don't know a normal segue or one that wouldn't feel like really fucking weird but just know that like it might be slightly less weird because there is a preamble that i can't give you so monica says that you know what she knows for sure that like if they're going to jail for something she knows like i think they're talking about the future of something like we can't know anything for sure and she's like well i know something i know for sure i would never um oh and sorry trigger warning for rape

monica says i know for sure like i would never sexually assault someone like i could tell you like me now me tomorrow me any day like i'm that i'm never gonna do that and dax goes hold up you actually you don't know that and she's like no no i would never and kelly was like yeah i would never and dax is like no no let me paint you a picture and again it's clear that they've already had this conversation and she's like oh my god and she it's like saying essentially like offhand to kelly being like he keeps saying and i'm like no it's not a thing and he's like no no kelly kelly let's get kelly's inside and he describes in detail about how her celebrity crush is matt damon and how if matt damon was over at her house he had too much to drink he can't like he can't

drive home and he passes out on her couch and kelly's like i'd be like cool nice see you tomorrow like go to my fucking room and he goes no no no come on come on come on you know you don't want to sleep in his shoes and she's like I don't give a shit if he's wearing shoes like he like if he got too drunk at my house it's his own fucking problem they're like you you take his shoes off and you're like okay you set them aside and then you're like oh he's so uncomfortable and he's saying it like this he's saying it like oh so uncomfortable he's wearing jeans you take his jeans off and they're both like no like literally nothing about this is sexy and they're like wait and you find out and he specifically uses this he's raw dogging in those jeans and you just you

want to stare and like you don't know what's going to happen and they're both like no nothing is going to happen like i that is not sexual that is not hot that is i'm not attracted to any part of that and they're like people got upset with them laughing and i think like as women we have to acknowledge when women laugh uncomfortably in um a room where the man has all the power yeah and specifically i think we also need to note that the power that the woman specifically whose co-host has monica is she's the editor monica could have cut this out monica did not cut this out so monica's either so desensitized to this bullshit or is bread crumbing and then this is a bread crumb the size of a goddamn fucking dinner roll people to be like look at

what i'm dealing with and i'm tell on yourself exactly and i'm just like women we're smart stop lumping us in as like oh they're laughing because they also find it funny this is also kelly fucking clarkson who comes on and it's like the studio as far as when i was listening it was like in a garage over his part of his house like you're in his home okay um and they said like not sexy nor we ever do that and then they said you know like you're thinking like a man which people also got upset with like you're not thinking like a man you're thinking like a rapist to that i say one and the same i don't think that they're not calling him a rapist i think they're used they're calling him a man who is viewing this in that way and i'm actually glad they specifically use that phrasing

because he said well no obviously i couldn't do this as a guy because you know you know the world society that but as a woman you like i definitely could and it's like so you mean to say that you understand that as a man this you're thinking this would quote unquote be considered dicey if you did this as a man and you have that you have that knowledge but you're saying as a woman you you you should be doing that and then says that like it just wouldn't fly in today's climate and all of these ever yeah no it's right like so you're describing you're describing rape. And in all of these circumstances, all this stuff with JVN, Taylor Swift and Kelly Clarkson, every single thing is, it's just interesting. Or just to play devil's advocate for a second,

or I'm just asking questions. And let's just say for argument's sake, and he's just basically going, AKA, I'm about to say something awful. And if you get upset, that's on you because I'm actually just an intellectual and it's not that deep. And it's like, shut the fuck up. The devil doesn't need an advocate we've been over this before but truly stop talking or if you're going to keep talking like this where the fuck is everybody else who's not reporting on this shit like i'm so so glad that i'm not glad that jvn had to go through any of this but the fact that this is actually getting press and people are actually writing about this because i don't even the amount of shit that he has been saying on his podcast for years that i stopped listening i

didn't hear about i haven't seen anybody write about this shit is awful and horrific and it's not funny whatsoever no so fuck this man close friends with ashton kutcher so birds of a feather yeah this is like he and i said i made a tweet about this um where someone had someone said it's not just a someone it's like the gun rights activist shannon watts she is the former president of moms demand action i've had her on podcasts before so she quote tweeted the article with jvn saying dax shepherd said he couldn't have me on his podcast because guns are too controversial to which i quote tweeted saying hollywood is broken up into two sex one theater kids two people who got lucky the latter come from red states with alt-right

friends and family they excuse in a similar fan base they make sure not to ostracize they marry seemingly progressive white women and that is their liberalism he has been hiding behind his wife and her notion like what and also again as a white woman white woman liberalism is not the same thing like there's a lot of unpacking we have to do in that on our own but like the only proximity he has to being progressive is his wife's progressiveness and he also hates her for it you can tell when he's doing these interviews saying that she's not funny and all of this shit it's very much chris pratt on a ferris energy yeah yeah i hate that man well you were right this whole time i you didn't doubt me though i didn't doubt you i just didn't have

i didn't i couldn't tell you one thing that he's been in once when i tell you that that is the top comment on someone saying the best thing he's been in and that was dot dot dot on and everyone is what yeah the only thing we know about i yeah i just know about i know about him because of his wife and then because of his podcast but that's more because of monica i've also had her on a podcast on a podcast she's wonderful we should get her on this podcast or don't blame me it's gonna be you know what i'm gonna do i need i need my middle of the night i need to steal the i need to steal chicks in the office from barstool and i also need to steal monica from armchair expert I'm like rescue these women but you know he also gives me a red flag thinking about it now

I think one of the things is I think it was after the episode he did with his mom and his mom was a very incredibly strong woman like left an abusive relationship and like the way she spoke about all these things that like the definition of like my I come from like my mother was the fucking backbone and a man who surrounds himself with uh let's say five five incredibly strong women he thinks he is untouchable he thinks that that is like a glossy sheen over his entire identity everything he says everything he does like if if i see you as like a cishet man and the only people you have are just strong women in your corner i don't need to hear from you then like do you have these women in your corner then these women then then you platform them you do

all of this you don't hire them all to work underneath you to lift you up you don't hire them on you don't bring them on to make you look good awful yep all right well my turn it's not as serious your playlist might get you through the workday but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs what work helped them build a life how did they adapt as the world around them changed. With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. We need some levity. Yeah, it's not funny either, but it's not as serious. So there's this woman

on TikTok that goes by the handle Bev Speaks and she calls herself Auntie Bev and her full name is Beverly Mahone. She considers herself this vocabulary expert. This is why I've never seen these TikToks. She makes these videos of herself saying a word, using it in a sentence, giving it the definition. She's like a walking dictionary. And when I first saw her a couple years ago, I was like, cool. You know, I'm not great at saying words, but, but I'm good. Like I, I know a lot of words. I just can't vocalize them. So this will be, you know, a good follow for me to have. Then the more videos of her that I saw, the more I realized that she was like condescending and thought that she was better or superior to other people because of the way that she spoke.

she went to a Wendy's took out her camera and she was in a drive-thru at the intercom part and she berated this person through the drive-thru for having a bad vocabulary in auntie Bev's mind the woman said order when ready which you know you're going through a typical drive-in that's what they're gonna say and then Beverly just yells order when ready that's how you greet your customers. I'm not ordering. Then she drives up to the window and records the actual workers and told them that she was reporting them to their superiors. And they're like, you said you weren't ordering. Why are you reporting us? That was one of three incidents. Then she went to the dollar store and made this video about a woman that was working there saying, if your vocabulary is

limited, you are going to be limited in the job opportunities for you. Get your vocabulary together so your job opportunities will be limit limitless not limited condescending and then she posted was just the worst thing and this happened recently she posted a video of an unhoused person sleeping on the street and she's standing in front of them and she goes the word of the day is pernerius and what does that word mean you may ask i am asking well pernerius means poverty stricken or very poor and she's saying this as she's standing in front of this person and the thing is this isn't the first video with this word that she's posted this is the third video the last it's like with each video she's getting a little bolder the first video she was

on vacation in the dominican republic and she's just sitting on her balcony but she said mark is a penurious man who can't pay his water bill therefore he collects rainwater in order to take a bath and then the second video she made she was just like it looked like she was recording b-roll of unhoused people and as they were on the street and said if you saw someone under these circumstances you might describe them as preneurious and I'm just like ma'am you need to change if this name wasn't already taken and that person isn't really a Karen you need to change your name to Auntie Karen because that is who you are and you think you're better than all these people it's giving like a superiority complex just because you can talk that you're able to

talk well that doesn't make you above anybody so like go have a seat and she's still posting things she took that the one where she's standing in front of the unhoused person down but all the rest of them are up the one where she goes to wendy's and to dollar store are still up and then she's posting more and asking people to buy stuff from her too which is a bad advice that was somebody had a bad vibe about and i quickly unfollowed them she was asking people to buy things from her do you think that that's giving poor energy poverty stricken might it might also that big of a vocabulary doesn't change the fact that your personality sucks and you're just a fucking bitch and then you're a nasty a nasty bitch oh you're not you're like a nasty troll

like a witch like a foul nasty like get out of here you think you use that vocabulary for like something better also we don't need man on the street just open a dictionary literally just goes and stands in front of people as they're doing things and she's like let me look up what this can be because there's one where she's standing in front of a liquor store and these people are loading um beverages in their car and she's got something smart about them but i'm like ma'am you have food on your face yeah but also a lot of us could open a dictionary and read addiction like this is not yeah we're not grading essays this is we're not getting essays but she's also repeating like she's just making the same content like it's the same words yeah and like you got these words

from a dictionary and now you're just reading those words here like and then you're using them in a sentence just how they use them in a sentence in the dictionary like this isn't like a grammar or linguistic sort of deep dive discussion and that kind of breakdown like we're just reading it is but she also the way that she says things it's just very class classes in the way that she even um expresses the things that she's saying it also seems like she films a lot of young people too and i it's just giving very like you gen z's look at you that's why she wants to be called auntie oh specific yeah she wants people to look up to her yep this is like my literal like worst there's nothing i hate more than people who have to correct everyone on everything

because like we're not having a conversation then like you're redlining my dialogue like we're i'm not getting to know you you're not getting to know me like this conversation is not progressing forward it's not realistic and i wonder how she is in her everyday life she like specifically enunciates the way she says things and talks down it's bad yeah she's also filming an amazon delivery driver who has two prosthetic legs and the caption that says this is what resilience looks like and it's like i saw you coming out here to deliver and it's like let me accost my big word beth let me accost the delivery driver and have him become a quote-unquote inspiration for disability like yeah this that that really

aligns with the condescending kind of thing that like disabled people existing are just inspirational yeah it's like the people that have the that do that red carpet where they roll it out do you know what i'm talking about there's people that walk around with a red carpet and then they roll it out and have people walk across it like i guess they think it's makes people feel special or something i don't know but they just put one out that was like inclusion and it was like people in wheelchairs or people with crutches and stuff and i was like why they're just existing just people it's just no no we have to we have to let you know that we actually don't see you as people so we're gonna specially include you now to then we're saying look we see you we don't

actually normally see you as humans but like here you are now i'm telling you you have your own little subsection right just include them with your other videos that you don't have to make a special inclusion one it's gross it's fucking gross and also yeah you're right the framing of all of this just being like how do you pronounce these words and telling people just like say these say these say these there's nothing there's no like interesting nuance of like the oh is it like some people say pop instead of soda or like coupons versus coupon it's just like i don't know we're correcting all right well that's the end of the show oh we have an update oh yeah so we have an update okay so i wrote in about our petty friend rachel and oh wow did you guys manage to

peek into my subconscious and gleam so many accurate observations from what i felt like was so little information the quote-unquote group of associates that call themselves friends comment had my jaw on the floor so damn accurate honestly you're both just so goddamn right it's tricky because there's so much nuance and detail that i couldn't include that made all of this a little bit more crunchy than it sounded in 300 words but it was actually so useful to hear your perspective on the straight facts rather than all the distracting side shit I was bringing into it.

Side note, the event is tomorrow and it's going to rain all day and be freezing. Karma is a relaxing thought. P.S. Sorry, it took me a while to actually listen to and respond. I have a toddler which distracts from such activities at times.

Honestly, thanks again. I think I need that to snap me back into my original outrage. I love when that happens where people like will write in and it takes a while for us to get around to it. And they've kind of like,

whether move past it or like kind of put it in a box and they listen to it again. They go, I am pissed as fuck about that. Like, you know what? i am mad and like i love that thank you for shining the light on this i love it i love when we get to reignite some rage and some people but i'm glad you realize that these people aren't your actual friends yeah and so sometimes it's good to hear it from when you even think that you're like

oh i'm not giving them enough information they're probably going to say something like i should have included this and it goes oh shit in something that i don't think i gave you even all of it or enough of it for you for me to think you're going to be on the side i want you to be on you're already so far there like damn thank you for writing in anyone no need to apologize if it takes you a while to like whether you listen to your own call or write in like we've had updates from people that's like i called in two years ago we love this what happened succubus yeah we hope you all enjoyed this episode as always please leave us a review and subscribe make sure you can get like notified and put us in your feed so you always hear us and the voting for last week's

episode the results will be up tomorrow in that episode of fisting friday and if you want to vote for everything we talked about on this episode that will be up pretty soon i'm getting pretty good i'm saying i'm getting back on my schedule yeah good job i'm back on my shit so you should check out our instagram make sure you're following us in case it is not up on friday but friday saturday sunday it will be up and you can vote and as always just send us a little message if you like vote a different way or even if you vote the same way that we do you have a reasoning for it or maybe you know something else awful that dax shepherd has done and you're like listen to this we would love to listen to that and share that and read that you can also tag us on things online or

send us dms a couple people sent dms of something that i was originally going to do and then the dax thing came out so i i'm glad that you are all wanting to hear about it because i it is a hyper fixation of mine that we will talk about probably next week and yeah anything else that's it well we hope you all enjoyed join the patreon tell us how pretty we are and funny we will circle back goodbye but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demont plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson