Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Friend's Boyfriend is Your Secret Ex

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

But Am I Wrong: Melisa - We need to be more than a 2 political party country Meghan - Bring back letter writing But Are You Wrong: Potentially breaking your friend's heart Telling your husband he's a bad cook But Are They Wrong Melisa - Corey Harris Meghan - Fontana Police Bonus: A salute to Sterling K. Brown Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Hi, how are you doing today? Oh God, I'm so good. Oh God, it's the podcast.

welcome to but am i wrong i'm melissa diamond months and i'm not penny proud today i'm just megan ranks you're a cowboy what are you talking about that's what you're yee-haw giddy up i'm with ho-ho-ho that's santa that's that's that's a different figure who slays that's good it's really good thank you welcome to but am i wrong where we two people who have not once ever been wrong tell other people when they're being wrong whether that's the form of the messages you've sent us asking telling each other and then publicly shaming people places or things celebrities all of the above we we really we cover all of the bases we have three different segments we will get into each one of them before the individual segment as not to overwhelm you

but you should know that we value your opinions as much as we value our own well not maybe as much because we are the only two people with the mic but we do value your your opinions so on our instagram stories we post votes to see what you think if you who you thought was wrong in each segment and everything we go about and talk about in this episode and then we also ask that you send messages about why you voted the way you did thoughts you have feelings you have And then we read them on tomorrow's episode called Fisting Friday. But we won't read the results from this week's episode, obviously, tomorrow. It'll be last week's episode tomorrow.

That was a lot. Woo! Megan's hoping her allergies are going to suddenly disappear in the next five minutes. Do you have a neti pot or squeezy? Yeah, but I don't have distilled water, so I need to boil the water to sterilize it. And I just haven't done that yet. It's so much fucking work. But I just don't want a brain eating amoeba.

Sue me. No. it's just so much work no again that we've been over this the fact that water itself is not sterile i think is a really fucked up thing and we need to work on that as a society women in stem please get on that i don't think i should have to wash my water bottle i don't think i should have to boil then let water cool down to my antipod like i will because i don't want to die but like let's work on that i know but it like keeps you from being able to do it because you don't want to do the other things exactly and then i'm even afraid like i have some distilled water that's in

there but it's just been in there for a while even though it's been in a closed container i'm still afraid yep wow well all right mine is something that i've been thinking a lot about this week and also you have said something along the same lines of i can't vote for that man i think we need to figure out a way where we can bring back three parties because right now we have the far right centralists and nothing there is a left but like they don't have enough power to really do anything this two majority party that we world that we live in in america is not working at all I need somebody smarter than me in politics I tried to watch some videos and read some literature on this but it's not for my brain to comprehend this is not my area of expertise but

it's some people's area of expertise and they need to do better and I'm going to specifically talk to the party that I belong to because it's the closest to my values but it's not where I fall but like the democratic party needs a complete revamp the person that's running for president should not be running for president and there needs to be someone better that's spearheading because you know they've had conversations about who should run blah blah there needs to be some the committee or whatever they need to be better like everything just needs to be better because this is not the world that we should be living in i i know who i'll be voting for but it's not who i want to vote for and unfortunately i know people are saying vote third party it's not

throwing away your vote but like to me when you break it down statistically it is there's also not one endorsed third party candidate that everyone can vote for and also there are things like reproductive health that are strongly on the line if we do not have it's already like it's on that line already and we'll just continue to get worse if we do not have a democratic president in the office so something needs to be done and i'm just tired i'm tired like what the hell am supposed to do seriously what what can we do yeah it's infuriating um i think that the biggest overhaul i need i need a non-white woman i need a non-white woman because i first of all i need men out i need the men out as fuck i need us to have no longer have a majority of men i don't

even want a minority of men i just don't want the fucking men there like get them the fuck out of this you've screwed it up so many times you have no more chances and the woman that we do have there like i know she's just based on huh she's being ruled by a man she's being ruled by a man and i and she can't speak out on things and i can just tell by things that her family members are saying and not saying where she actually falls on the spectrum and she can't actually do what she wants to do yeah the system was built by a man and that's why the system is failing and it's such a shit show because like i understand the people who want to vote third party as well because like they're not wrong in saying that democrats and democrats only do things when republicans are in

office like like democrats only do that but like we only know how to campaign against we're not the other guy as opposed to like what we can do and like democrats get cushy in office and like they don't do anything but then when the threat happens of like unfortunately i think that if trump is elected i think there's a lot of democrats who are going to promise things they wouldn't promise when they were in office and like that's super fucking frustrating and it becomes a system in which they benefit either way promise things when he was in office and a lot of that not happening no and i i just think it's really it's it's royally fucked that democrats benefit when they lose and when they win and that's just like the the game quote-unquote of politics that

i find so fucking insidious and that like i feel insulted that they think we don't get it that this is all brand new to us and like seeing it like the last ditch efforts to like promise things that we or promise when we voted for you at the beginning that it's like well if you don't vote for me now like you're not gonna have this maybe you already promised i could have it and they're like what are you talking about like this and it's just it feels like a toxic abusive relationship like it just feels like you have two people who are someone who wants bad things for you and someone who says they don't want bad things for you but let that lets bad things happen and then be like we didn't do it blame the other guy and uses our taxpayer money to fund a fucking genocide like i'm

so sick of that I'm sick of a lot of things but like this week it's just been weighing so heavily on my heart and I'm just like people I know you reposted it so I know you're aware of it Nikki Haley writing on the bombs and like people saying like can you believe that this Republican is doing x y and z she signed her name on it but who bought the bombs and like they don't have different policies no when it comes to this and like unfortunately i think if it was republicans funding this democrats would have a lot to say about it yeah i'm like between the covid policies and the genocide like it's just the spider-man meme like it's just one of those things that i'm like you're not changing anything about that like you guys are saying the same

shit about this and but you're telling me that you're not like and it's just yeah it's a mind fuck and i blame the men like i really blame the men and i also like all of this specifically the genocide all of this has done is like just like freaked me out even more when it comes to like journalism but like how many journalists die like and that us america free speech free country that freaks me out even more that it's like we're getting to a point where like i'm not someone who's like you can't trust mainstream media but like i'm just worried about journalists lives and like being able to report what they need to report and like reporting the truth and all of that and like we're not protecting that even the press secretary

getting up and talking about rafa and then saying it's not bad enough for us not for us to do something it's not bad enough decapitated children is not bad enough it's so morally depraved it's like it's like hard to like swallow that like there are other humans even humans i hate and humans i like disagree with who like we don't have the same viewpoint as this yeah i just feel like you're going crazy because like it's just it's so fucking clear as day that like i don't even know what i'm gonna do like i don't know how to vote for somebody who is like some kids it's it's legal to kill some kids and like you can pay for it like i don't know how to rationalize that at all so yeah Sonia Sotomayor says that she like literally cries every day

doing her job as a supreme court justice it's also just so crazy to me that overseas people think that you can bomb and kill people's entire bloodlines and think that that's not going to produce people with absolute disdain and disgust for a government and then they also don't think that that's going to happen here when you bomb people their entire families entire lineages with our tax dollars what do you think that's going to do to our citizens right can't bomb away problems you can't bomb to peace like it's just such a archaic like thing that we know is to be not true and we're going to act all surprised when shit happens so yeah i've had so many people who like message me being like i'm gonna have people being like please don't say anything bad about biden

like blah blah and i'm like shut truly shut the fuck up like they're like you can't support trump i'm like bitch i don't support trump like it's just like it's such a watered down version like way to like think about this and like i was before anyone for the 2016 election it i was blue no matter who i was so and i stand by that decision yeah i stand by it too doesn't mean and we didn't want to vote for him then either no neither of us wanted to no it's just like but i was going to i was going to fight for that because i and i stand by that like i don't think that trump would have been better in this time period than he was whatsoever um but then i have people in my dms now who are like i don't know like what the fuck do i do and i'm like bitch i

don't know either like it's just no like if you're struggling with this and yeah and i'm never going to uh look at someone specifically i'm never going to look at women who are not white who are like i can't vote for him and have any sort of animosity so just know that that like if you're a white because most of the people who are very upset with me i mean all the people are very upset me saying like i don't know how i can vote for him or white women um send me those messages all day but swear to god if you send them to a woman who is not white you don't need to educate anyone else on uh the horrors of what their potential future could look like people know and people are making the choices they need to make for themselves but i'm just sick to my stomach yeah so mine is a

little more later so mine i was inspired by bridgerton though it does have something to do with history okay and i think we need to bring back letters and i don't mean just writing letters like hey what's up like here's my holiday card i mean when i want our great great great great great great great grandchildren to find out stuff about us i want them to find written on stationery you're like my husband is a trifling asshole he's sleeping with my neighbor like i like bring back just explicit gossip in letters to the fact that like you know how we know so much about like all of these people back in the day oh yeah they wrote it in the letters oh they're like Maz was telling me about this like one guy because again this is Bridgerton he was talking about this

one guy who's like a poet and like you know he him and his wife they really like got on but like he mostly slept with men I was like how did we find that out he goes his wife talked about in the letters bring back that bring back letters and think about this think about history and yes diary entries I I wholly subscribe to that but there is something just so just delectable delicious about writing a scathing letter about someone talking shit about people and then mailing it to your friend they could be five minutes down the street they could be across the country spreading that gossip by the u.s postal service is what i think means to be a true american and i think we've lost touch about the art of history of of letter writing you can write it with a

calligraphy pen you can write it with a quill in ink but bring back gossip shit talking all of that and so then one day your letter about how you got railed by the hot guy at the bar is put in a museum behind plexiglass for people to look at and go that's how they used to live back in the day bring it back hamilton released the alexander hamilton one of our founding fathers well i learned about it from hamilton the musical had the reynolds pamphlet which was an essay that he wrote when he was serving at the treasury and it basically talked about his affair that he was having with james reynolds wife and like they were moving money around and stuff and like he published that so that he wouldn't get in trouble even though that meant him getting trouble in

trouble with his wife but that's how she found out that's how the world or that's how new england found out like i love that shit like we talk about that's a tiktok trying to be like normalized telling why you broke up on the internet normalized putting everything messy about your life into a pen and paper and and letting future generations get an insight about how we live through that like i just love that and i want it back i want it back you know i don't want something to be like oh like yeah like the internet we talk about the internet lasts forever it doesn't always so like start gossiping in the handwritten form right i love when people admit crime that they did like affairs like second families other children illegitimate children

out of what all of those things all right have you started keeping a record for me you want it for other people but of course of course of course of course my brain doesn't work like that i'll work on it but um i tried to i've tried to keep diaries throughout my if i say throughout my life it stopped probably around 17 no i did a little bit in college and i just like i'm like this is boring nothing about it excites me because i'm not having affairs with anyone else but if you if you are doing that do it my friend in college that is no longer my friend i feel like every week i'm talking about somebody that's no longer my friend but i hope they're watching the patreon because you can see the facial reaction she's just a hardcore republican but she talked about how

in college she she was keeping a journal so then she would have record of the day that she met her husband so she made her husband in college she did oh but like she didn't like she was writing it before oh my god so it was leading up so she was keeping that the whole purpose of her journal was that then when she actually found that guy she would have a record of that day unfortunately she's with the wrong guy because that's harrison buckers dream woman i don't know who that that's Oh, that man. I've been calling him butt-lick. Yeah, Harrison Butt-lick.

That's his wet dream. A woman whose entire life has revolved around the moment she met his husband. Her husband. That's so embarrassing. It is. But if she's happy, whatever. No, no, it's still embarrassing.

It's still embarrassing. But if she's happy, then I will not have anything else to say about it. I don't know if she's happy. We're no longer friends. But if she is, cool. i don't wish good things for her she's a gender traitor anyways uh we are going to take a quick break and we will be right back

and we are back it's time to get into our next segment which is but are you wrong where you send in your issues your circumstance you have found yourself in that you want to know if you're wrong in the situation you email it to but am i wrong pod at gmail.com you have to keep it under 300 words we do ask that include your age you can include your pronouns if you would like but just include all of the relevant information it is all anonymous so please give people some fake names and um we will tell you if you're wrong hi megan and melissa i am in an odd situation and I am wondering if I should tell my best friend. So last year I was in a secret situationship. Well, I wouldn't say secret. I just knew it was never going to go anywhere. So

I didn't see the point in talking about it. Shortly after we ended things, I moved from the south to the east coast. During this time, my best friend went through a tough breakup and I was there for her afar. She became depressed during this time as she started to heal. I recommended dating apps to build her confidence to get back out there well guess who she matched with my former situationship partner i didn't realize it was the same guy until a few months in she is so happy and her confidence is soaring i'm going home next month and i'm wondering if i have to tell her She has made so much progress to being a happier her that I feel like this will backtrack everything she has worked towards. Am I wrong for withholding this information?

I would have to go a step further and ask him not to say anything either if I don't. I'm not sure she would forgive a double betrayal like this. You need full facial reconstructive surgery and a bout of amnesia. This is actually horrible. and you're such a good friend oh yeah no i wish that on him i support women unless you want a full face of plastic surgery and amnesia oh my gosh this is and she's such a good friend like that's the part that's like so hard yeah i think you have to tell her because like you said if you don't tell her when you meet him he's gonna know too so like someone's either gonna tell her her

or both of y'all are gonna be lying and whoever's gonna tell her is the one who is the bigger person in the situation or if because right now the friend is the the writer is the only one that knows because he hasn't entered into the situation yet so he doesn't know i think you have to tell her like you you just have to say hey i was hooking up with this guy and i have been thinking on this for a while and i just want you to know i do not have any feelings for him at all it was just a hookup it was never gonna go anywhere but the person is the guy that you're currently in a relationship again like i have no feelings towards him i do not want to be with him but i just want you to have this information so that you know i need to know how you found out that it was this

guy because maybe she sent a picture and be like here's my new guy or like they posted a picture on instagram or something together so i think this is where i'm a proponent a big proponent of um lying when it benefits everybody's feelings so i think that you need to recreate the situation when you realized who this is in front of her as if you are just realizing it i don't think you should pretend you sat on the information i think if you do that like do what melissa said and i would say it in the way of being like i don't know how to bring this up because like i don't have feelings for him but like I also didn't want to say like oh I really don't like this guy because I don't want you to think that like he's not a good guy and that you shouldn't date him so like

I didn't know how to like toe the line of like expressing to you how happy I am for you and how not interested I am in him without sounding odd because I've also like hooked up with him that like it would I don't want that to impact your decision to think that I'm saying he's not a good guy or whatever but like I think like if she sent you a picture or it was like something on Instagram him or whatever just be like oh my god can i call you later and then be like i just realized something and like i think i'm like 99 sure that this is what's happened but like i i don't know but like i'm just realizing i think that he and i might have like had a situationship and just be like i didn't like when i first saw the picture of him like i i was like oh he got onto the lie

no but i was gonna say like if you can say like he it depends on how you find out though because i think like oh it vague he like vaguely looks familiar because the whole thing i think it depends on is how the situation should end it because i think if it ended with he ended it first before you did i'm always a little bit worried about him a guy being like oh she definitely still has feelings for me and like him kind of pulling the strings so i think the more you can downplay it that this hasn't been like i think you either you you downplay it in the sense that like it was either weighing on you and you didn't know what to say because you didn't know how to like not talk shit about like how express how much you're not interested in him without

talking negatively about him because it has nothing to do with him or being like because it also depends on how long this has been because if this has been more than like my second one about lying that only works if you figured this out like two months ago like that only works if this has been like very very recent um and just being like i think this is a guy that had a situation to do with but i totally didn't recognize him and i'm just realizing realizing this now as like i'm coming home to visit i just want you to know that like i have no feelings for him like whatsoever i don't even know if he'll like remember that we had a thing at some point but like he is so much better for you like he is so

perfect for you and i sorry that it like just last year they definitely remembered someone needs full facial reconstruction this is actually the most stressful thing in the world yeah like the the question is am i wrong for withholding this information yes yes that yes and he would be wrong too if he also knew it was withholding information because like you you have to tell her and you have to tell her before he tells her before he knows because also then like you've

been knowing but also he probably sees mutuals on Instagram you and her like yeah yeah so I think that you tell her and then the nicest thing to do is you tell her and you just say that like you just like didn't know how to bring it up

and just be like I don't even know how to prove to you that like I have zero feelings for this guy like he's just like it's just not a thing and like you can be like listen how much of a not saying it was you didn't even know like it was just like a dude i was hooking up with at school and like we don't really vibe but like you know love that for you but unfortunately though unfortunately no matter what you say i think the right thing to do is to tell her but i think even telling her or not telling her there is a chance an outcome that she like needs a break from your friendship for a bit and I don't think that like but there's a guarantee if you

don't tell her I think that she will find out and then it will be a friendship ender I don't think it'll be a break I think telling her I respect people who are honest when they're not confronted like to me I think that's like the biggest thing someone can do is be honest when I'm totally in the dark I have like no indicator of what's going on so be that person and if not might I suggest full facial reconstructive surgery and a bout of amnesia because the way that i don't i would have to move like i don't know what i would do also can we talk about how non-memorable this man is that it literally did take her month like a couple months to realize that it's the same guy i do not envy you at all oh my god at all and i need i need an update like i even need an

interim update like even before you go visit i need to know how you found out that it was this guy i need to know how it ended with you and this guy like i need all of the information this is so fucking stressful and i feel i'm like so sorry there's just so many emotions running through my head right now and listener if or caller writer if you want some more um insight into well it could be worse listen to the episode of don't blame me about the girl who fucked twin brothers and their other brother well that's how she ended up in the situation went home and went oh i recognize these men oh she knew the whole time remember she knew she was going to a cookout and didn't know if she should tell them before no i know but when she

realized when she started dating the guy she didn't realize that who she knew when she hooked up with one twin he fucked her over then she fucked the twin to make him mad but when she met the other brother she didn't know and then they started dating and she realized it was like it'll be fine so yeah as research well please write in like expeditiously asap Next up. Good day, Megan and Melissa. I'm wondering if I would be wrong if I told my boyfriend he is a terrible cook.

So for New Year's this year, we made dream boards together. Mainly it was personal goals, but we agreed to one goal we would offer the other. So my goal to him was to help out more around the house with cooking and cleaning. And very particular about how I like things cleaned. No, you're not.

He just doesn't know how to clean. So I took that early on in the relationship and I told him to focus on cooking. Now I'm seeing what a big, big mistake that was. He is an awful cook. Like, I can't even put into words how terrible he is, but he's trying. He's making an effort to do exactly what I asked. I already took cleaning away from him.

Would it be wrong to suggest he stops cooking as well? It would be wrong unless you plan on wiping his ass after he shits and bathing him and getting him dressed every day. Not being able to cook and not being able to clean are choices that you make. They are not skill. This is not math. This is not dyscalculia. this is not me having a learning disability and not being able to do something like math this is

and we're talking about like physical ability like if he does not have the dexterity or the tactile abilities to do certain cleaning tasks no no but someone who is able but cannot uh it is a lack of desire trying effort and and education on it so i if you took that away from him like this man is it might not be weaponized incompetence at this point but it's incompetence and he will learn to weaponize it this is my feelings and it might be a hot take i don't know if you can't cook that like no one if you can't saying that you can't cook is if you are like free balling a recipe if you have a recipe in front of you and you are following everything as the recipe says you can cook you have the ability to cook get some recipes some easy recipes watch some videos on

the internet like anyone can cook it's just that you have to sit there and have the patience to wait for things to heat up the patience to cut even like cutting things you can buy things pre-cut like there's there's no excuse for not being able to make it there's meals where you just dump things in a fucking crock pot there's no excuse anyone has the ability to learn how to fucking cook and saying that you're a bad cook is just an excuse yeah and if he's repeatedly cooking bad food over and over and over again it is on purpose because he is looking at the recipe and going nah my I'm better than this even though I've never done this and there's something about men who do this where it's like I'm just not good at this like do you think I was born being good

at this or do you think I had to learn how to do this right you learn how to do your sports you learn how to do x y and z why can't you learn how to do this thing as opposed to thinking a woman titties vagina innately knows how to do these things like no bitch it's not how it fucking works no I took an interest in cooking when I was like three years old I would sit there and watch my grandma my mom not a good free baller when it comes to cooking but she can take it i know she can take a recipe from my grandmothers and make it and it's good and so i would watch them and then when i was able to read i got like kids cookbooks and sat and like read through them and learned how to do things like if i can do that as a seven-year-old a grown-ass man can do that

yep yep yep i so matzo is not a big cleaning someone we're still working on but i also cannot necessarily fault him for that because he and i both have an issue with i mean egg cleaning but mostly we both have an issue with not wearing our glasses and then we go oops we missed a bunch here but like food like i've always been the one who cooks and then when he like pandemic happened he was like working from home a lot more i was like cool so like this is this is split now because I am doing this all the time normally which again like if that's how like our time splits totally fine if I was working late he would have stuff and then I would get leftovers or whatever I needed but I and he even says now he's like I'm like annoyed with myself that like I didn't do

this like sooner like this is so easy and like he takes the lead for like at least half of the meals that we do during the week and like how to explain like in in the early age I was like okay cool so like look up recipes that you want to eat me telling what figuring out what i want to eat and what i want us to eat and then telling you what to go get from the grocery store and then telling you how to find the recipe and make that that's still not totally taking care of everything and we got to the point where he made um he made like a pork tenderloin i'm like just bouncing around between meats because i'm so scared of bird flu but i'm just like let me if i just get different cuts of like something that came up again recently oh i don't know if you want to

look into it it's really don't look into it but so like i'm you know it helps me a little bit so we're eating more fish and like switching up different things and i already get the ick with chicken like so often so do i it's it's so chickeny like it's so chickeny and so now that there's bird flu and it's like happening in some cows and then some uh chicken so i'm just like bouncing around i'm not doing too much of anything he was making it uh the other night and he was like asking like how is it i was like oh it's great really very well seasoned super good and he like had found the recipe and um he was like i was a little concerned about this because they said to use this much of this and he's like and that's like ridiculous so obviously i didn't do

that and i was like babe you've graduated to a whole other level of cooking to like knowing when to not follow the recipe and be like there's no way and then cross-referencing three other recipes of like the similar dish to be like okay what's normal and this is a man who he his mom cooked he lived next door to his godparents his whole life so they would like rotate dinner so like he didn't even really eat leftovers then his like roommate for a bunch of years love that man he's a great cook so like he just had never he had been around people who have always like cooked for him this man now is he's proofing recipes and he's going edit no no that's wrong your man can do this like and I think there's something so vile about a man who knows that this is something that

you want and then they do a bad job of it knowing that you're looking for the finished results so you will stop asking for it and also you don't have high expectations for cleaning he's just not cleaning cleaning is not a multi-level expectation list it's just as clean or it's not clean there's only two options that makes me so mad I hate that you're not you would be wrong by the way sorry you would be wrong if you took it away yes yes you would be wrong all right we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into but are they wrong real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers like ziggy sliced deli meat products for always 375 and get life brand pure vita shampoo or

conditioner for eight dollars each at real canadian superstore when you're ready we're ready with a whole world and more we're back from our break and it's time for our last segment but are they wrong where we nominate a person plays your thing someone in pop culture zeitgeist news current events that we think deserves a collective boo maybe pointing just a bunch of middle schoolers surrounding them going boo boo and sometimes i wish death upon them but i'm not gonna be specific because i've already done that and apparently you can get in trouble because i thought kane's getting in trouble because she said something about politicians to be assassinated which i've said for years

politicians don't get assassinated like they used to all right uh my nominee is cory harris of michigan um some of you may have seen this video floating around of him on the internet he was supposed to appear in court virtually via zoom call because he couldn't drive to court because his license was suspended and so he was running a little late on his zoom call he finally gets in and he's in his car driving and he says I'm driving to the doctor's office I'm gonna park in a second so not only is he driving a car but he's driving the car while talking to the judge and the judge is like really trying to understand how this man is not getting it through his head that not only is he doing one thing wrong he's doing two things wrong committing an additional

crime on camera in front of a judge yes and then he parks and the judge talks to him and says you know what you're doing is wrong right he's like so the judge goes okay so maybe i don't understand something this is a driving while license suspended correct and then it was confirmed and he said and he was just driving and he doesn't have a license confirmed again those are the charges yes confirm no i'm looking at his record he doesn't have a license he's suspended and he's still driving confirmed once again then there's a long pause i don't even know why he would do that like the the judge is in disbelief and so then he revoked harris's bond and instructed him to turn himself into the county jail by that evening and then harris

just drops his hands and goes oh my god like it just then dawned on him that what he was doing was wrong so that is my rachel i saw that i didn't see the part where he didn't even realize what he was doing i will say that man might have adhd that i've done some no i haven't done that but i'm saying like something where it's like oh my god these two things coincide holy shit but yeah he doesn't even have a license he's driving with no he's appearing oh he doesn't have a license he does his license is suspended that is why he's appearing that is why he could not drive to court he does not have a oh he knows he can't drive to court yes i take it back that man is not one of us here i was going like sometimes i forget the things i'm supposed to

no no no no no yeah it's so terrifying to think that there are licensed people on the roads who i'm afraid of then there are people on the roads who aren't supposed to be on the roads they're still on the roads yep wow it also uh reminds me a bit of the judge's reaction reminds me a bit of a much darker circumstance actually i don't even know what the why his license was suspended so if it was for a dark reason i don't want to downplay that whatsoever but there was one about like um during the like height of covid 2020 i think maybe 2021 there's like a domestic violence one yeah and it's like in like the script like the background's changing and like the attorney of the woman is like i have reason to believe that the defendant

is in that he's in her house and the judge like kept his cool but like sent officers there and then was just like you are you fucking it like you're a piece of shit and an idiot like pick a struggle he didn't say it like that but if i was a judge that's how i would have framed it i read between the lines do talk like this and you know who i need to be a judge uh badly built butch crockett crockett the way i need her i need her to be president well to be honest i was thinking a judge was is a great stepping stone to that because first of all i don't want her to inherit this i don't want to put the fixing of this on her shoulders put this on a different someone and take this on next take this on four years from now i also want her to have a really just cushy

vacation package i want to see photo photo shoots of her and people magazine with like an adorable dog welcome to the white house oh love that well mine also has to do with the criminal justice system um and i would like to nominate fontana police do you know where fontana is in california yeah i was just curious if you know there's multiple but i was asking if the one that's in california yeah so uh this is uh just to give it perspective to people there are a lot of people from fontana who went to my college and you'll see there's a lot of people who went to my college most of the white people some of the other races too conservative conservative big big pro-cop policing for um some people and then the other half people so not so tense but uh california

this city of fontana has agreed to pay thomas perez jr nine hundred thousand dollar settlement after he filed a lawsuit for being mistreated during an interrogation and i have to say the way that this is reported on people magazine and a lot of these other news outlets versus how it is being reported on twitter and reddit and other like community-led platforms it's fucking crazy the picture in itself that they're using for these cover art is him being interrogated just like sitting there with the police officer looking a little uncomfortable the ones that i've been seeing going around is this man is ripping his shirt off screaming in agony going through a mental health episode as they're like standing over him interrogating him we're kind of like

brushing it up to make it look a little bit nicer but buckle up so for 17 hours in 2018 fontana police interrogated Thomas Perez Jr. about his missing father, who he reported missing. He reported his own father missing. They interrogated him for 17 hours, repeatedly telling him that he murdered his father and saying that the body was lying in the morgue. It wasn't. His father was alive the whole fucking time. You murdered your dad, one of the officers said. Daddy's dead because of you. Then he tells him that his Labrador retriever would be euthanized as a stray and even brings the dog into the interrogation room so he could say goodbye he became so distraught going through a full episode because he has then ends up falsely confessing to this because he

thinks he it's 17 hours mercifully they also withheld his medication from him and he was remanded to three days in a psychiatric ward for trying to take his own life in the interrogation room he later then learned his uh his father was alive which is something the police withheld from him. And after six years, they finally agreed to pay $900,000 in settlement. And he's the one who filed a lawsuit alleging he was mistreated during the interrogation. So his attorney said mentally torturing a false confession out of Tom Perez, concealing from him that his father was alive and well and confining him into the psych ward because they made him suicidal. In my 40 years of suing the police, I have never had that level of deliberate cruelty by the police. So he had

called on august 7th in 2018 when his dad had failed to return home after walking their dog the dog came home but his dad didn't he told the police that his father and him had gotten into an argument before and they police said they found bloodstains in the home as well as on his father's wallet and phone his father turns out was at lax because he was flying to visit his daughter in northern california and he was so upset by the line of questioning that he pulled out his hair hit himself and tore off tore off his shirt he was sleep deprived mentally ill and significantly undergoing symptoms of withdrawal from his psychiatric medications said the district court judge a reasonable juror could conclude that detectives inflicted unconstitutional psychological

torture their tactics are indisputably led to president's subjective confusion and disorientation to the point he falsely confessed to killing his father and try to take his own life he was able to get his dog back by tracking the microchip implanted inside the animal and the uh as of now the fontana city of fontana and fontana police have not responded to comments but uh one of the men the police officers retired retired so you know cushy retirement package and then the rest were just on suspension they still have their jobs they are still getting paid this is messed up like disgusting levels of cruelty why would you even lie about that there is a i mean it happens in like lots of places i know it's like the good cop bad cop we scare them to then they confess

yeah but i will also say that like they're the police are racist everywhere but depending on the area where you are and the race of those police which vast majority of them are white there's a lot of really like despicable intentional intentional ways of like okay so i can't shoot you because you came in here but like how can i inflict this pain on you like how can i take out my like like sadistic race fantasy on you like it's just like it's it's so fueled by that and the you know you find out the guy's like oh he's got psychiatric problems and it's like oh of course so people might think like oh megan you're putting i i there are i know a lot of people from fontana unfortunately there is like a there's a there's a chunk of people who are

super fucking racist and uh they're specifically really racist because they live near people who they don't like like it's such a nasty fucking thing and the fact that's only nine hundred thousand dollars i think is so fucking little that is it's infuriating yeah and that nine hundred thousand dollars isn't gonna mentally cure him no the pain that he ever lived through but like that's you know that is a chunk of money but it should be way more than that nine hundred thousand dollars a year and fire everybody and fire everyone who was in fucking involved fire everybody who knew fire everybody in the premise and put their pictures up all around town yeah oh it just makes me so mad and like you have so many levels of trauma on this like an involuntary

psychiatric hold that alone is so traumatizing for people you have a withdrawal of medication you have a suicide attempt you have like the fact that he had to like find his dog to get it back because it was chipped and the fact that like i didn't we don't hear about this until this case is closed like yeah police if you want to keep 18 right yeah and i also think that like i'm i'm a defund and dismantle the police i'm like the whole fucking system is broken but i'm like if you don't want to dismantle the system if it's like no okay you can prove to me that then tell me all the accusations that are coming up tell me all the active things that are happening in the police precinct like tell me all of those things so i don't have to find out about it like six

years later after the results and these guys have had their jobs the whole fucking time like i don't these men should not have been able or these police officers should not have been able to walk around and live their lives this whole time. No. So I wish nothing but amazing things for this man. And this is where I wish I was like Warren Buffett rich. Cause I would just be like, I'm going to give you an Island.

Like I'm going to like, like you deserve so much more than this. And then I'm going to like the best doctors in the first and then like making sure that, that he never has to want for anything the rest of his life. Without a doubt. And like, I would also go full Scientology and like, I'm going to make it a mission to ruin the lives of the men who did this to you. And then I'm going to buy Fontana, the city of Fontana. Once again, fuck the police. All right.

The lighter note is just a shout out to Sterling K. Brown, the actor of a generation. Yes. And you know how I said, you don't have to be a girl to be a girly girl. that's a girly girl that's like sup girl yeah the way i'm ready for us to have a sleepover i'm right i don't even drink i'm gonna make us mocktails i want us to sit around matching pajamas and we're gossiping and i know that that man can gossip and you sent me or you told me about how culture work had made a video but well to give a little backstory to people um he is promoting a movie he's really doing the lord's work with simulu and j-lo yeah yeah he's just turning look either

which direction and um they did an interview and uh was i don't even know how it was relevant but j-lo said like well i you know in puerto rican he goes are are you the fakest surprise he goes oh no way and then i haven't heard you say this already 10 times today literally being like no way this is brand new information to me you don't say in the world it is so fucking funny and then culture work did a video being like stitching one of those videos of this interview being like i have a mutual someone who i consider a friend because they follow me and i follow them who is very close to him and i would love to hear from them you've got like 36 hours and guess who comments expeditiously his wife can't get closer can't get closer than that and she's like oh my

god girl i love you like i love you down hard uh like you are so messy and i was like that's a compromise and that's yep she confirmed without confirming the way i know that if she's sitting on the fucking couch with an olivia pope level wine glass and popcorn waiting for him to come home from set on the days that she's not working or she's saying bitch stay up by the time i get home from work you better be awake and you have to tell me everything and they're just lying kicking their feet up like i can i can 100 see that because i initially followed her because she's on the show that i liked ish um first wise club and they did her character so dirty and i couldn't find any press about it at all and i was like this it wasn't like oh she's leaving to pursue

something else it was just nothing silence and I was like something's happening here so I went over to see if like maybe she was on the internet and I could find her and she was on TikTok she has a lot of like silly videos up but she also has videos where she's talking about things without talking about them and one of us uh-huh and so I was like yep I'm gonna keep following this woman i adore her i had been checking in to see if she was saying anything without saying anything on her tiktok and she hadn't and then culture work who had been dormant from tiktok for a minute she popped up because of p diddler the asshole because she has thoughts which makes me think that she also has some connections to that so we need to find out exactly where she

yeah and so she came back for that and then she came back for this which lets me know she has information valid information i owe to be a fly on the wall oh to be invited to that dinner party like the way i want to hear everything about it and she's she's gorgeous she has one of those smiles i like takes up the entire bottom half of her face and so i in her profile picture too seeing her comment being like oh you are so mad like i can see her saying it which makes it even better and both of them like they have this like very hollywood smiles like they have like the million dollar smile like this shit that sells that's movies blockbuster like and you like just knowing about how he's smiling saying all of that to jlo like laughing to himself and she's doing

the same thing i'm like you guys are imagining heaven so happy for you what a perfect couple but yeah so Sterling we are ready to listen whenever you want to talk about it please I'm sure as soon as the press tour is wrapped up we will hear more

and I have to say I've never once said thank god for AI because I don't fuck with AI but I'm so happy that they probably all got to be in individual pods most of the day well he did hear that Ben's voice was over her pod

instead of what everybody else had yeah wasn't it his voice supposed to be him doing the same with her i don't know i thought it was that like ben was reading his lines i don't know i truly don't know but which actually tells me that ben was directing her because she needed an extra director because she wasn't getting where she needed to be emotionally and that's what sterling was telling us without telling us and here's the thing j-lo has her strengths and she knows her strengths she knows her strengths but here's the thing she refuses to just accept them for what they are yeah she won't lean into her strengths what is what most of us do yeah especially at this big age that she's at you know it always goes back to her

infamous interview about um her talking about like salma hayek plays the same every time like i guess whatever i'm like yeah first of all wrong second of all you would benefit from that like you made in manhattan monster in law like you the rom-com girl big city big dreams girl that's getting like like she was fine in hustlers or like enough where she's like beating up her ex yeah girl you have two options that's a lot more than some other people like yeah let's stick with that or keep making your music video movies and we will be watching all of those yeah i love it so thank you for your service sterling k brown i hope you're paid handsomely i'm sure he was and might i suggest maybe a sleepover with ryan gosling because i

feared that he has a lot to say and he he expressed some similar contempt during his breast storm okay well all right we hope you enjoyed please uh write in for an upcoming episode and you can always tag us or send us things on tiktok or instagram that you want us to talk about on the episode follow us on instagram at megan and melissa you can hear our voices multiple times this week tune in tomorrow for fisting friday where we will read the results from last week's what am i wrong monday we've got don't blame me giving advice tuesday we've got see you next tuesday where we're just chatting about whatever's on our heart i'm sure it'll still be because you will get through the second season and then i can

talk about how much i truly love it i can't wait we will circle back But Am I Wrong is a production by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa DeMonts, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. And production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.