Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Ghosting Your Therapist

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

But Am I Wrong: Meghan: 99% of TikToks are staged Melisa: The President is not a celebrity But Are You Wrong: Borrowing money from your anniversary fund Not missing going to therapy But Are They Wrong Savory Fig Michael Meyden Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi welcome to but am i wrong we're coordinating today we've got like a peachy and then a pink hmm bear a number to our patreon to see us have you gotten your color like do you know what your color palette season thing is you've asked me this numerous times no i think i've talked about mine i don't know that i've ever been kind enough to ask me you asked me and i said i don't know i don't care i feel like i could probably figure it out okay it would be for your own enjoyment i just like to wear what i like to wear it's always all for my own enjoyment i love a quiz oh did i tell you that i took the long quiz i was chaotic good you know lawful neutral and i said unfortunately my guy with love that's what you are yep was it the one that i told you to take

you didn't understand the words for it yes okay yeah i got chaotic good too that feels a lot more accurate i love direct questions that's why i like a lot of other things like i'm not good at because i i'm like what's the context like is this every day how often what mood am i in when i'm answering this it's why every time i've taken the in at the first break myers break i get a different one every fucking time you're only supposed to take it one time yeah but i'm probably not being on like i don't it takes a long time for me i'm not necessarily not being honest not being honest is part of the test okay well i don't remember what i got the first time i took it i take it idea i think i mentioned this before but i take it as character when i'm writing something i take

it as the character and it helps me develop the character that's great that's fun yeah i like that i was watching millie bobby brown interviews um no was it millie bobby brown what was that i've told you now that she's off that show or that show's like over don't they still have like a season coming out or did it already that is but here's the thing it's none of my business exactly that show is now no longer my problem because here's the thing i'm not saying that it's not good i watched the first season i get irrationally upset when people become so obsessed with something that like it's the only piece of content and media that people are talking about so then therefore i revolt and i don't want to participate and i don't want to watch it that's how i get

annoyed with breaking bad also with um white lotus white lotus i gave in yeah speaking of white lotus i got a text message yesterday from my sister megan and it just said theo james is so hot and i said yes he is have are you watching white lotus and she said no she was watching some other show and i was like well he's very pretty you're finally coming around to that no he is when i when i remove him from divergent where he played the most frustrating and unlikable man ever that i was like just hate fuck him already shailene just give him a little hate fuck fuck that man um yeah besides that but that character is also annoying that's not him but you know he's very he's very pretty again i would i would have an oil painting of him in my

home remember though when we had a conversation and you're like i don't get it and i said what is there not to get and then i told you cammy also made a video about liking him too and i said black women just love him well i i did a video where it was like smash or pass and like i passed on him and cammy commented and she goes take this again and do better okay sorry no but you're you know it's because i only saw my divergent and then i i didn't watch white lotus but like i looked up pictures of him white lotus and i was like oh okay i totally get this is a fully grown adult man he plays such a dick in white lotus in the best possible way he's got good practice because he plays a dick in divergent too it's a different type of dick this is a spoiled rich man oh i love

i'm cool like i'm a cool dude but just being saying very passive aggressive things that if you're not really paying attention it might sound like a compliment but it's not is he british no he gives me british energy no where's he from he is english i thought you meant the character no white lotus they're uh yeah it's meant for them to be obnoxious americans yeah theodore peter james cannot top that's a rich person's name he's got one of the he's got that you know the pools of accents you have the british ones he's got he's got that one he's got that one that's the kira knightley the um jude law the one where they all sound like they're from the same block and apparently they are from the same like yeah cul-de-sac do they have cul-de-sacs and

i don't think so what do you think they call them a fanny wobbler everyone who's british is like are you fucking helen right now i was like are you kidding me okay so cul-de-sac is french of course and in french the it means bottom of a sack so fanny wobbler actually could be it can you imagine if i just like made up a british term and people like that's actually a thing jrr tolkien used the name bag end as a translation of cul-de-sac to poke fun at the british use of french terms so i it might be i think it is in the uk they say cul-de-sac as well okay and they usually put clothes as a suffix for cul-de-sac roads british people are going to share their thoughts and opinions or my consistent slander

has turned them all off from listening kellen's still around well i know how but helen's helen's different people are asking helen what's happening with kate middleton and helen said like i give a shit she goes i don't know i don't care so you know it's different maybe by we got our irish any any any of our fellow irish throw that out here let us know do we have any irish listeners i don't know but we really should um all right well so um what a great segue into us telling you that we're never wrong as we just lie and lie and lie and make up things for sport and for fun which was one of my hot takes a couple weeks ago is bring back lying for sport i love telling tall tales so um yeah this is a podcast where we uh talk about our own lives we tell you when you're

being wrong we talk about celebrities pop culture current events everything and it is all divvied up into three different segments but we'll explain each of those segments beforehand but what you really need to know is we've been described as ethical gossip and um it's a participation activity you can vote on who you think was wrong in each segment that we have so we post those on our instagram which is just megan and melissa first time i've ever gotten that username right on the first try and you should also double check that i got that right by clicking the show notes and seeing it out um and we put them in the highlights as well and we also ask that you share your thoughts and feelings so like why you voted the way you did if you voted with the rest

of like the majority or not um we'd love to hear both sides of it or whatever personal experiences and then we read the results as well as your messages and possibly updates from people who we talk about next week we will be doing mean girls the musical the movie so make sure you if you're listening on thursday we happen to be recording on a friday this week um so you have time you have time get them in hot takes for mean girls the musical the movie and that's how i'm going to refer to it like musical the movie like um high school musical the musical the show whatever series the series do people abbreviate that like an acronym i mean that's too many letters you might as well just say at that point people do that with certain taylor swift songs

and i just go that's actually 16 letters we're not going to do that anymore one of these is a sentence and another one of these is morris code so like let's not so um yeah that's what we have for you coming up so send them dm you can also email and yeah can't wait i'm excited me too shall we get into our first segment that sounds like a rape roaring good time well our first segment is called but am i wrong and that's when megan and i pick something from our own life personal experience things that we've observed in the world thoughts feelings rants that we would like to discuss and then and we pick a side and then put it up for vote and it is your turn to go first mine is uh kind of a hot take but also mostly me asking confirmation i don't think i'm

wrong i'm not wrong for thinking that 99 of the tiktoks we see are staged right i don't think it's 99 okay 87 of i was uh not not all of them but um anything that's in public no no what's that word that i'm trying to like when it incites something not like rage bait specifically but like give me give me an example like that one something that people are doing those on the street interviews and they try to act shocked but it's like we already like this is rehearsed like that kind of thing things when people are doing something that are uh like you know what the comment section is going to be already before you open it and it's just like oh this is this this is you're so clearly trying to get oh reactionary right yeah yes that works reactionary

content i think 90 i would i'm gonna say that i would say 95 percent of reactionary content creators not like a singular one yes yeah i will say reactionary content yes different from stage though so here's my thing i ended up on a side of tiktok that i i cannot stand and it is financial advice tiktok oh and god i not even close to it i don't know how i ended up on this and for me it was like so clear like immediately that the content wasn't really about giving financial advice it was about um calling women like frivolous and like silly and stupid and then i like you know started of deep diving and and seeing what other people they had on and it was mostly like young attractive women who were making money and then spending a lot of money and then it was uh kind of like

schlubby middle-aged guys or young out of touch guys with like trust funds um or ones with like sob stories who like went through it and are like trying to figure out how to get on the other end of it and i also i mean i i just i have an issue with people like giving financial advice like eat less avocado toast but then i also this to me i was like this feels specific in the point that like you're bringing on an 18 year old who has bought two jaguars who's like kind of smiling as she's saying no i'm not going to get rid of them and you're like you're a fucking idiot and it's like you mean to tell me that like these beautiful gorgeous successful but girls who spend a lot of money are writing in to get on your show so you can

berate them publicly and call them stupid here and have all of the comments be like fucking women man like fucking women and so that then I ended up on people recording customer service phone calls when there on the other end of it talking about this that to me i'm like so i know customer service and even like sales a lot of things that are done traditionally have always been done remotely like have always been done over the phone and a lot of it like not customer service like in person customer service so a lot of those roles like that have been in call centers or anything like that where you're not like dealing with people face to face the turnover usually for that like the laws that you would be able to like record your side of the conversation with very specific details

and like talking about this idiot customer and then posting it in multiple parts it's just you can't do shocking to me that people would see that and be like oh my god fuck that customer and i would be like i'm watching it going there's no way that this is real because this person wouldn't have a job and it'd be like look like i wish all customer service people were like you and i'm like totally but that's also why i don't think this is true because if you were like that you would get fired there's a reason why people can't behave like this i don't think it's fair but like you'd get fired how are you getting on these sides of tiktok i think it's because i was just like this is there's no way this like i get into deep dives and then those ones like the multi-part ones i

think they know i like multi-part series and then they keep serving me more multi-part series but i just think that that person who the financial one does not have like a financial degree like he's not most doesn't work in that totally that man that uh dave ramsey no not dave ramsey that man that is it's a tiktok man who sits in like eats his ice like he'll eat his ice cream with the side of sprinkles and then dip his spoon in the sprinkles as he's eating it talking about being a manly man like like my four-year-old nephew's dream yeah but he's like saying things like doing things physically that contradict what he's saying and then like doing it on purpose but saying like really offensive things while he's dipping his spoon of ice cream

and some sprinkles that's i don't even know that one it was going around or like there's this couple that they are to me it's obvious that they're just like making content to make people engage with it and be angry about it um where they uh talked about that they were one of the videos was about them um living a barefoot lifestyle and in order for them to be accepted in society they cut off the soles off of the bottom of all their shoes and then they were walking around with these like in sephora or whatever but then in like the next video they post it they clearly they have on shoes and they're doing something else ridiculous and it's like stop commenting on these people's videos because you're doing exactly what they want i think the the the decline in like my perspective

of like media literacy at this point like i think anybody who is like actively making um troll content that is not so overtly obviously troll content i'm like not the time not the time in the misinformation war but also as consumers i'm like y'all if you bought this i'm so afraid of what russian propaganda and like any other propaganda you're like sounds legit i'm just like what is going on like you couldn't let there was someone who made this tiktok that i think it was what i sent to you and i don't even think i preface it with you but like we both know it wasn't true but the girl being like why don't they make i love pickled foods why has no one ever pickled a cucumber and like she's she's joking yes and like you go to her

bio it literally says troll and specifically a lot of the time i do find that um that will happen with women because people are like well women don't know how to be funny because women aren't smart enough to be funny so if a woman was funny it was only because i found her funny because i'm laughing at her and she was funny on accident and it's like that's no women are funny funny but like it is that level that i feel with these other things and i'm like this is so transparent but people are like i am on your side girl and i'm just picturing this woman who just ordered a headset i think from amazon and is talking to herself and also when you act you can clock other people who are acting i go that wasn't enough of a pause for them to have said

what you're replying to like that just there wasn't enough of that there and um it's just i just think it's so fake and it's crazy when people will share it around especially like younger people who like we think of as being like very on top of spotting things that are fake or whatever that is that i'm like i hope everyone we need to it's not just the deep fakes of jennifer aniston being like hi you have won a purse from my collections of did you see the oprah one no but it's the same fucking one that did the jennifer aniston one i need to find the oprah one like i think like a lot of them were like oh yeah it's that or that like one girl who like was not a real human for like years was like uh like three years ago or something was um being a vlogger or like a

talking to camera person and then it came out that like she was like a russian propaganda ai i bought or whatever so like i'm just like it feels so innocuous when it's like little things like the customer service one it feels a little less um harmless when it's things like women can't do women don't know how to do women can't control their own look at this one she can't do any of this like and then it also is like demonizing women for making money because one of them is taking care of her boyfriend like she's spending she's she's keeping him afloat and it's like it's not shown there to like empower her but like the comments are like i love that he's empowering her i was like no the way he's talking about her and the way that the other half of the comments

are talking about her is like this is why women shouldn't make money this is why women shouldn't have this much money because like look how stupid they are with spending it and i'm like so that's my hot-ish take slash i don't think i'm wrong and for some reason it just feels like in the last couple weeks it's i've just seen so much of it that i'm like this isn't real but that's also like that girl pearl that used to go i don't know if what she's still doing she's falling off my radar so thank god but i used to come across her videos all the time where she first built up uh following i followed her initially because she was just talking about how she had rich parents and um given like tours of like cool things in her house and then i didn't know that yes like

that's when i started following her and i was just like this is cool like i and it was during the pandemic i was like there's like you've got like weird fun stuff in your house that a lot of people don't have and then she started dating that dude that black guy and which pearl are you talking about the one that makes the weird that was talking about like women being like she started going on all these podcasts talking about dated someone i thought the whole thing was she never dated anyone she dated that black guy and then was like oh he dumped her and that's her villain origin story yeah and she and he was she was making like content that's when i stopped following her because she was making content where she was fetishizing him and then i was like

you're gross and then that's when he dumped her and then that's when she started going on all those podcasts saying all that girl you've been on day one pearl lore i didn't know any of that shit yes whole you watch you watch the villain origin story in real time yes well imagine being imagine rich parents not being enough of a villain origin story yes like whoa that's crazy i had no idea i avoid everything she does when i started seeing her on those podcasts i was like wait that's not that same girl is it and it and i was went back and i was like yeah that's 100% her i'm shocked yeah wow because i think her parents are like engineers or something like that and then the fact that she ended up on the news and people were just like letting her talk i was like

shut that bitch up i love women talking but that is one woman that needs to go away yeah no she's a she's a fucking idiot and she's a woman who hates herself and thus hates every other woman whoa i'm gonna try and find this okay wow well that's mine all right well we're gonna take a break and we're back mine is uh i don't feel like it's a hot take unless you live in dc uh someone's about to come out the woodwork dmv i think anyone saying that will also agree with me i'm talking about people that are actually like

politicians oh the president is not a celebrity i don't know if you watched the state of the union last night i tried to for a brief second i was like no but any state of the union And any, it doesn't matter who the president is, people on the side of the aisle of that president, again, doesn't matter who that president is, act like that this is the second coming of fucking Christ and are pooping and hollering and cheering and then clamoring around the president to take pictures with him and selfies and getting the chance to shake his hand and i'm like are you not embarrassed first of all this is your colleague y'all work in the same you mean people who work for a second i thought you invented the public no i'm talking

about representatives in the house and senators i'm talking about those people having like gathering around the president making a big deal posting things like posting things like oh my gosh i can't like wait to see him i had to get a selfie do you know how many people that i respect that i was following on instagram and i'm like i can't follow you anymore i can't take you fucking seriously how embarrassing not only is he like partially your boss but also he works for you as well like you are not doing a very good job the way that people were claiming to this man who was it i didn't see him doing any of this it was other people but um yeah i i just i don't get it why are we fangirling and fanboying over joe biden and the same thing happened when trump was

in president was in presidency same thing happened with obama was in the presidency luckily before that people really didn't have like their cell phones out during yeah imagine you just have all of these like fan girl like fan edits of like other politicians i'm just like so happy to meet nixon and reagan and right yikes how are you feeling about that now uh-huh that's just like are y'all not embarrassed are you not embarrassed because i'm embarrassed for you i'm i i have to now unfollow you because what it's giving like oh that's like you know jennifer anderson's like my friend from camp like we're like really close we hang out all the time and then it's like oh no way and then you see a photo and it's in front

of a step and repeat and you're like why did you say you had an in why did this is so fucking weird or like oh i know the kardashians and then it's like oh you're an you're an employee of them and you're getting in that over edited hyper smooth filter photo booth with them at a party and you don't you don't have as much pull because you're waiting in line for the meet and greet right right right it was i i just i i didn't i did i truly don't understand and i don't think i've seen this much fanfare from the left as i did last night that's crazy yeah the i mean the trump supporters they're different whatever they weren't politicians yes but the best thing to come out of that night was joe biden walking in and spotting marjorie taylor green and if you haven't seen

that i implore anyone to go look at that but other than that too much fanfare too much fanfare too much fanfare for a man who i have personal beef with because do you know what he brought back just to piss me off the ice cream looking ice cream photo op and here i have been the biggest hater of the goddamn fucking ice cream photo op he has multiple of them that's what i'm saying like at this point now he goes let's get back to what we are bread and butter and i go of all the times to halt the goddamn fucking ice cream photo op it is right now and then be like you know we should talk about we should talk about dropping bombs and genocide well i'm licking a cone yes are you kidding me at this point at least get at least get it in a fucking cup at least get

a spoon in a fucking cup i'm like the fact that these people because that happened before last night the fact that these people were fangirling over him and getting these photos after he did yet another ice cream photo um that's mortifying and then i also have to talk about former television presidents all gathering to make a little video with him so fitz Gina Davis some other TV presidents all did Julia Louis-Dreyfus

she wasn't she was not they said Veep's actually not the right vibe they've done enough those two have done so many things together

so it has been the vibe in the past yeah who else was there Morgan Freeman they were all on this zoom video giving him advice that they learned from their time as president i almost made a joke saying giving him advice on how to be president because at this point it was

i would trust fits more that's exactly what it was and i was also like are you not embarrassed because Fitz literally told him some advice that Olivia Pope had said. And I was like, like this, y'all are so unserious right now. This is supposed to be serious. And you're trying to use this as a way. You're asking this in a way to like humanize him. And I guarantee he doesn't know who most of y'all are. No.

he knew who morgan freeman was because they're peers i guarantee you've never he's never seen scandal attain his life that was cold morgan freeman is offended they are and gina davis gave advice from fucking uh the baseball movie was uh illegal their own yes wow mickey rourke one side wasn't that mickey rourke who plays the coach no who was it uh tom hanks oh oh he wore a hat though didn't he or did they have a mickey rourke comment why is mickey because first of all listen i don't know who mickey rourke is that name came so quick so like there has to be something he did it was the it was it was the tom hanks stuff it was uh there's no crying in baseball that's what she told him I've got absolutely zero idea how I

got Mickey Rourke because I don't know who that is maybe we were Mickey Mantle was a baseball player but he also was not in the film is someone named Mickey I don't remember okay everyone this was just this is on me there's absolutely no connection and now I need to figure out who mickey rorcus all of that to say all of that was embarrassing and then when i watched that video with fits and co with him on the zoom call the comments were so positive and i was shocked it's like no no one had anything else better to do no one i'm just a little surprised that the advice he didn't give was you know i famously went to war over kerry washington being kept they probably told them don't say that no you know that

they probably invited care and kerry said oh maybe i'll bring up the time that i told fitz not to do and he did it and i was mad at him i think that they he can't piss me off more and i can't think i can be more upset at like the rest of the colleagues like it just feels like at this point i'm waiting for like a white house trust fall like bonding retreat and i'm like we have so many other things to fucking do and like they're gonna bring jay shetty i'm waiting for jay shetty to sit down with joe biden and at that point we ride at fucking dawn like this is getting so out of hand yeah it is and i'm wondering who it's for because you're saying the comments where i'm like who what is that goddamn fucking audience there are people that do love them but what age range

do you think well it was tiktok so it couldn't have been that old i mean there are lots there are older people on tiktok and if they're serving it to specific like serving it out to specific audience but i'm like i feel like i got it because of scandal it is time for our next segment but are you wrong where we read your submissions about a circumstance or something you are dealing with in your life uh something you've done something you might do that you would like us to know were you wrong are you going to be wrong are you currently wrong and we'll tell you so submit it to but am i wrong pot at gmail.com keep it under 300 words uh please let us know your age you can let us know your pronouns if you would like but you do have to keep the whole thing

anonymous so come up with fake names for people um so we can follow and if you want to get creative because everybody's so creative i appreciate that but just make sure that the creativity that you were doing it applies to your circumstance situation because otherwise we will think we're picking up on subliminal incest i don't want incest in any form overt covert not into it good to know are you ready hey megan and melissa my husband and i have been saving money for our five-year anniversary next year in 2025 we didn't have much money when we got married so we've so we're waiting to a really nice trip for our five years my best friend is turning 30 this year and we are all going to cancun i've saved a good amount for the trip

but we just got the itinerary and it's a bit pricier than i imagined would i be wrong if i dipped into our anniversary money to make sure i can cover my ass i can put the money back within a couple months if i work a little overtime i'm i would i think i think you would i think you would be wrong but also i would feel very comfortable if like mods came to me and asked that i would feel very comfortable saying no and i know that i can't even imagine he actually he would even ask that do you know what i mean like it's it depends on how your relationship is yeah i think you know it's a conversation i don't necessarily think you're gonna be you're wrong if you're paying the money back like because if you're gonna work a few more hours then

just put the money back oh totally i'm not even thinking about in that sense i i'm i guess i should clarify i'm thinking that like i don't think spending more money than you were initially comfortable with for a friend's like birthday party i don't think that that's depending on what the how much more it is and like what the cost is um i think that would be a regret like i would i i just think that like the what you spend on an anniversary trip something that's like for both of you and you plan and like a friend's birthday trip can be like super fun but if it's like twice as much as you thought or x amount of money like more than you thought and there's a chance saying that like you have to work overtime to like build that back i think if

it changes the timeline of your trip you would be wrong if you just dipped into it and like you phrase it in a way that he couldn't say no but i do i don't think you're ever wrong to like ask your partner if that would be something that is okay but it just depends on like would he be honest with that you know yeah yeah yeah i truly don't if you're putting the money back i don't think there's anything wrong with this yeah i just wonder how much let's say that it was like the cancun trip ended up being like a thousand dollars i'm just giving a base number and you thought it was going to be like 600 and so you know you have this extra amount of money sitting here you borrow 400 from it and then you're gonna work a few extra hours to pay it back

yeah i i think i i don't think that that's bad but i in my i guess it's also i don't know where you're from but for me i'm like cancun is don't spend that much money yeah i don't i i made a face when megan read cancun and i apologized i did not cancun does not seem like 30 the type of place i would like to go for my 30th birthday um but that's me some people might enjoy it maybe this is some place that the birthday person they wanted to go to when they were in college and they just weren't able to and now they're in a place where they can pay to go and now they're you know getting into their inner college child and they want to go to cancun like i i'm sorry that my face was judgmental that's not specifically somewhere i would want to go but i understand that

someone else might want to go yeah i just need to know how much it is because if it's like you i don't even truth truthfully i don't care where you assuming if you live in the united states even actually if you live anywhere in the world if you are spending i think more than a thousand dollars to go to cancun that's that's too much money and i think it's not even a i i maybe it is a personal preference that i do think that um depending on what the itinerary is because i guess i also think about it in the terms of like bachelorette trips it's like oh we're going to do a catered thing here and we're going to do this this and this and it's like suddenly you like you said you guys didn't have much money when you were getting married and then you're spending

money that you wouldn't have spent you didn't even spend on your wedding on your friend's 30th birthday and then like it you have to work your ass off to make more money to do the thing that you were going to do with you and your partner so like i guess like my thing is like how much do you really want to because the people pleasing tendency in here maybe that's what's like sticking out to me a little bit that like i don't know i would feel so comfortable if like i had something and it was like oh we can't we're planning something like we've got like an anniversary trip that's like and i'm like okay cool no problem like totally fine um so i think it depends on how much it costs because you're right i think if it's like a couple hundred bucks

and working overtime it doesn't delay the the timeline that you were going to go like you and him um it doesn't push any of that back it doesn't change any of that um yeah i always think of in the sense of like saving money for something that like and if an emergency came up and then you had to use whatever you had left after this you didn't you didn't get to go on the anniversary trip you know but i guess it just depends if your friend's asking for if it's a thousand bucks you're that's flight hotel but if it's we're getting a boat and we're doing this and we're doing all this and we're opting in for it to be way more expensive at that point especially if you said itinerary i would just opt out of the things that are a little more pricey my um sister slash friend she um

had for her anniversary you know we went to dominican republic last year and um it was pricey and like you could opt in and are opt out and you could get different rooms depending on how much you like you wanted to pay to get the upgraded upgraded room or like another room you could do you know go rv right or you could just stay at the all-inclusive hotel there was a lot of things that you could opt in or opt out of so i don't know just depends on what you want to do you're gonna have fun okay your turn dear megan and melissa i am 29 years old and i use she her pronouns i have been in therapy for a little over two years now therapy has helped me immensely in dealing with childhood trauma validating my feelings and navigating my distant relationship

with my family. Before the holidays, however, my therapist went on maternity leave and I paused my therapy sessions for about three months now. During this time, I honestly haven't felt like I missed my sessions that much. I mean, I liked having someone to vent to about my boyfriend and my mom every week, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't need therapy anymore. I feel like I've already worked on the bigger issues I had and during our last sessions, I felt like all I did was just repeat previous topics. My therapist felt like there was something I was blocking and that's why I was holding back in our last session.

Honestly, I don't think I was blocking anything. I just feel like I don't want to relive my childhood traumas once a week. Am I wrong for wanting to ghost my therapist? I just think if I do schedule an appointment with her once, she is back from maternity leave, she's probably going to push me into continuing my therapy and I just don't want to go through the awkward conversation.

ghosting feels like the easier option but i don't want to be mean either thank you so much for your advice love the podcast i love when they write into us about ghosting because i'm like you know we're gonna say you know what our answer is just what you want to hear baby your therapist works for you and if they are no longer working for like they work for you but if they're no longer working for you like it's not working out then that's not someplace you need to be spending your money that's my opinion i don't think you're wrong for ghosting especially if you haven't missed her during this time um if things come up in the future that you feel like i need to get back in therapy great but you don't have to be in therapy forever yeah and also ghosting a therapist

is not like uh ghosting a friend or something but i mean i also don't even necessarily feel that about friends but like ghosting someone is only permanent if you both decide that it's permanent like you can always reach back out and again especially with therapists um you can like ghost your therapist and then two years later be like i don't really want to start over with a new therapist and like i did like them like let me go back and that's like fine um i think when you no longer feel like you're getting anything out of therapy and then when you take a break from it and you are not missing that and your life isn't like craving that again i always knew that like oh i'm i'm ready to get back in therapy regularly when i was looking i was like

oh i cannot wait for this session like i have so much i have so much to talk about and then it got to the point where i'm like i don't know at this point and then you know you can pick pick up sessions here and there of like things that might be helpful for you um but i don't think that it's mean also if she was on maternity leave there she did this with all of her clients and i'm sure she's had people who have left messages about trying to like get in as like a new client um so i don't even know if she would expect you to reach out to schedule a new appointment or she's gonna reach out to schedule a new appointment or whatever that is but um i without a doubt will think that this is specifically a profession

that is it's a very typical thing like it's very typical for that i don't think a therapist would be would take it personally if a client is like uncomfortable breaking it off so i don't think you would be wrong at all and it also could just be like you've reached your end of the time with this therapist um but yeah i mean i had a very similar thing about um just not wanting to relive certain things over again and like at a certain if it stops being productive it you're not there for you anymore you're there for her same like my therapist last therapist i had just kept wanting to talk about things that were not what i was there for and things from so far in the past that i had could care less about

and she was like mad while not mad but she kept trying to like make me be mad about things that happened 15 years ago i've moved past that i don't care anymore and some people want to fit you in a box that like they already know like doctor any kind of doctor where it's like this is what's going to be your thing first because like you fit the archetype and then when you don't it's like okay but this is not like a college case study at this like i'm a real human and like i'm actually here because i want to get shit done if like you don't want it then okay but like this is a waste of both of our times all right well you're not wrong no we're gonna take another break when we get back we'll get into but are they wrong

and we're back from our break and it is time for our final segment but are they wrong where we nominate a person place or thing pop culture current events in the zeitgeist um or sometimes obscure news stories that have not been talked about and sometimes you're introduced to george santos before the rest of the world and melissa's wonderful deep dive years ago yep years we were we we knew about him before um so i would like to nominate a niche drama that i discovered and when i was like damn look at me discovering a niche drama see it on tiktok there's like 12 comments on it and i'm watching the whole thing and then they like mentioned the person who this happened to and they posted like oh it's on their instagram

account i go to the instagram account the instagram account has it had less followers last time i looked it has 8 000 followers but so by the time i looked way less than that and i go to the post that they're talking about you know who liked it lily marston and i go god damn it that bitch is on top of it so fucking quick so i don't know if their episode where i'm sure maybe lily's gonna talk about this in an episode will come out first um but i would like to nominate savory fig which is a bakery and i'm doing quotations if you're not watching the video version on patreon in long island i almost did this too what first of all i have a personal connection because one of my best friends kyle my bestie kyle kyle's family lives on long island

and kyle's father celiac gang rise up i was like this poor man i was like kyle you and i sent this and he goes oh my god i know this place holy fucking shit sending this to my dad right now and i was so worried like so fucking worried and you will understand why so this uh all came out via the instagram account cindy snacks c-i-n-d-y snacks and i would like to applaud them for their investigative journalism and they possess a level of politeness positivity and like seeing the good in people that i do not have so this all started february 23rd when cindy snacks is a little uh like vegan market it kind of looks like a bodega and they've got vegan snacks gluten free stuff all of that and it's in huntington new york and it's very cute it also looks like

it would be on melrose if anyone's like la are you trying to get a little idea of it so it's a vegan market and therefore you know they have lots of shipments and things come in and because it's local they'll have a lot of other local places bring these things and so they got you know the owner of savory fig this bakery had dropped off their order and they had previously been stocking these donuts. And in the middle of the donut box was a donut with purple icing and sprinkles in a magenta and an orange in the letter D. And whether you're from the East Coast or not you know that is a duncan donut that is the duncan donut that is the duncan donut it is like almost the level of like the simpsons don't like the image of

it we were in the color scheme and everything so the owner immediately became concerned and was like this looks like duncan again they're in new york cannot stress that enough and uh they were decorated differently than a lot of the other ones and you know they were like uh what's going on and immediately texted the owner like savory fig and basically said like you know i don't mean to put you into question like really prefaces being like so kind like i just like for my own peace of mind like i'm just this this looks like dunkin donuts and these are advertised that what you're giving us are vegan gluten-free donuts and we are a we people with allergies and like food food sensitivities intolerance and celiac all of that like they come in here and we guarantee them

this and they double down be like oh no no that's not i i those are just like a sprinkles that i that i bought and they were like could you send the sprinkles and they're like beating around the bush they finally like send like a generic like amazon just like letters sprinkles the person from cindy snacks who's talking about all of this is sharing this their name is john so i'm just gonna refer to them as john and then savory fig is the other one so john then posts a picture of the or takes a picture of like the sprinkles that savory fig said were the ones that they used and side by side next to the donut they're completely different sizes different colors and you would have to pick out each individual d and the d's are like 10 times the size it's just not the same

thing sent to them they're just being so fucking cagey and they're doubling down being like no no know these are all vegan and gluten-free blah blah blah and they obviously are like this is fucking insane like this is a goddamn fucking dunkin donut beyond the fucking sprinkles like blindfolded without tasting them i could tell you what's a dunkin donut i could tell you what's a like there are only so many of these donut chains like you know especially once they get stale you know if that's a fucking dunkin donut so they cut it up and do a gluten test on it so you like sifted up really fine and of course it comes back testing positive i'm sure they did one for dairy as well but i don't know what the testing of that is and it's the confirmation alone that once you

do that gluten it's it's the duncan donuts and they've cut like all ties with all of this and so pretty much it's not just that donut they suspect which it i without a doubt definitely is that all of these donuts have come from duncan and so they had the valentine's day ones which they like savory fig like low like didn't even really try to rearrange but like it's the valentine's day duncan box and they've like cut all ties with this company or this person whoever is doing all of this and they're taking legal action and they'll like update people when that happens but like the, this is like so wild to me and so fucking crazy because it's so insidious because the vegan community and gluten-free as someone who has gluten-free, I could not tell you what

the cookies of the month at crumble are because it doesn't cross my, because like I cannot consume them. So like, that's not even in my, it's not even in my world. And that's what happens when you have food allergies to something like a major thing like that where you cannot eat anything there so to so blatantly know that you can screw over people who are have a store vegan gluten-free because you're like i'm not even gonna find something that's like niche or somewhat like it's insulting and so wildly reckless that it feels malicious it's horrible and it's horrible and like they should be so not i don't mean cindy snacks i mean savory fig because this will be a lawsuit so fucking hopeful and lucky that no one got seriously seriously harmed sick and a lot of

people don't really like they think of like oh like oh people like gluten-free like vegan like specifically like eggs like people can have an anaphylactic allergy to eggs you can have an anaphylactic you're an anaphylactic allergy to like a lot of things i think even certain milk products like kate i don't know whatever there's like the kate whatever it is casey yeah and then gluten is also not something that's just for everyone to just it's not always just like uh a stomach ache or being in severe pain it can be like a level of essentially like poisoning that like can leave you so dehydrated you die so yep it's just so wildly reckless and i'm so fucking curious how much they were upcharging i saw this and i was so angry about it because

i know how i have a gluten sensitivity um not like a full allergy to it but like i do get sick after I eat gluten and to go somewhere where you trust that the food isn't going to make you sick and then something happens and you're like I don't know what that was but I'm like this didn't sit well with my stomach but then you have someone that like actually has like celiac that has this and then they can end up in the hospital or dead like this is poisoning people and i hope that they get the book thrown at them oh my god yeah and i think about like if that was me trying to figure out where i got gluten from something it's like whenever it happens to either of us we're like being a detective to figure out what happened i'm like

retracing my steps and like since i got gluten like the most recent time was from i'll say trader joe's waffles that said they were gluten-free but they weren't certified gluten-free it has scarred me so fucking much that i eat more processed foods now because they will have a certified gluten-free sticker on them than other things and so if this was me i would have been like i would have ruled out immediately the first thing i would have ruled out would have been this and i've been like well this is safe and then i would what go back and get something else and i wouldn't get that exact thing and then i would get sick and then i'm getting sick and then i get it again and then i'm getting sick like that's the thing that's like that would be the thing

that i would be yeah that i i would be ruling out that there's no way it could have been that and then it happens again and then it happens again and it's just like so fucking and like the fact that people are like oh good thing that nothing nothing bad we don't know like we actually don't know you truly don't know somebody probably not somebody like it didn't probably happen someone got sick and didn't know where it came from without a doubt they're like i it the the idea that the only people who are having this are people who just like a donut them like itself wouldn't sit well with them like that's not like what this is like it's i can't describe it more like it's like you've gotten poisoned like it's the most painful fucking experience i put it right

below a cyst rupture what i put period first like cramps cyst rupture is the worst pain in my life and then the second is that and then food poisoning is below that like bad food poisoning is below that so like i feel so bad for um the owners of this like that's horrible and like you know it's i i hate stories like this where it's like we have like lost the meaning of community and like when there's oh it's like one party who has and it's like it's so awful to have a trust in that and like feel like this is what this is how it should be this is what community is this is what this is and then to have that be so um like blatantly disrespected into a point where then you you have to become like so distrustful of like other humans and other people and i hate

like living like that like i don't want to expect the worst out of people and like expect malicious intent out of people um and i hate that that's probably what this has led to for them all right well mine is um disturbing so i just want to give that as a precursor mine is uh michael midden who is a 57 year old piece of shit oh he is from oregon uh he was accused of giving three 12 year old girls a sleeping drug during his daughter's sleepover so he allegedly um laced some mango smoothies with a benzo um that is used to treat insomnia and panic attacks through court documents the girl said to the police that they felt groggy and some even blacked out um a pair of the girls were on a pull-out couch and then another was sleeping um with his

daughter in the extra bedroom in the basement according to an affidavit one of the girls didn't drink much of the smoothie so she was still um pretty much awake and though she felt tired she felt that something was wrong so she fought through the tiredness she told the investigators that she pretended to be asleep while this piece of shit allegedly hovered over her and her friend on the pullout couch and performed quote-unquote tests on them to make sure they were asleep and then he allegedly began separating two on the bed before suddenly going back upstairs that girl tried to wake her friends up but they couldn't fully wake up and so she texted her mom at 2 a.m and the text said mom please pick me up and say i had a family emergency i don't feel safe

I might not respond but please come get me please please pick up please please since it was so early the girl's mom was asleep and didn't get the text messages so the girl started texting her other friends and asking them to tell their parents um asking them to like come get her and so she finally reached one of her friends in the meantime the girl said so I'm quote unquote sleeping and her dad comes down and I'm hugging my other friend because she was scared and he kept moving us away from each other but kept doing tests to make sure we weren't awake um and then she texted the friend also the friend won't wake up she did for like a second but she kept her eyes closed and didn't talk so then um the friend's mom came over and picked her up took her home woke up the girl's

parents. And then those girls, the girl's parents then texted the other girl's parents and let them know what was happening. They all headed over to the house. And at first he wouldn't let them in. Um, he was like, they're asleep. Just come back in the morning. Um, and he said, I don't understand why the parents were being so urgent about coming inside, but they eventually got the girls um they went to the hospital and they all tested positive for the drug that was in their system he has been indicted last week on nine felony and misdemeanor charges including causing another person to ingest a controlled substance um after pleading not guilty he was released on a fifty thousand dollar bond last week so we've talked about sleepovers recently

it was like the day after that this story came out and i was like okay you know yeah i'm like no no i'm not not sending my kids to sleepovers no the way i would have beat his ass the way i would have killed this man the way i would have taken those kids all of them the first second i get there as an aunt not even as a parent i would be like i don't give a shit if your parents are mad i don't i don't care whatever i will grab your fucking ass like night pleasantries and like order of operations a fucking side you're fucking coming with me and then this man will be dead and i will go to jail and that's fine but like the rage that this incited in me and like the way that i will tell obviously my niece and nephew are way too young for this and my other nephews

or like my age um but any like kid in my like that i will be like you can call me and text me at any point if you do not feel safe if you're at a sleepover i will come get you and like i think i mentioned this when we did uh we talked about it the last time but like i was at a sleepover middle school and i felt so uncomfortable like the dad made me feel really uncomfortable um and the girl i was having a sleepover with she made me feel really uncomfortable and my friend faked sick to leave and i thought she was really sick i thought she was throwing up and she asked me to go to the bathroom with her and so she's like throwing up and the other friend is like here i'll go get you some water and my friend looks at me and she goes i'm not sick like i'm

making myself throw up like just come with me and i was like so afraid that like that was me being mean and that like her and i i thought that the feeling uncomfortable there we didn't have the words to describe why we felt uncomfortable why we didn't like being there um and i didn't have those words and so it was like i it suddenly became a coincidence that we both wanted to leave and then i go now we're ganging up on her we're being mean we're not being mean whatsoever and so i stayed and i felt so fucking uncomfortable and nothing like this happened whatsoever but just like a kind of like creepy like pervy dad who's like you know rubbing your back and like making you say grace at the table and like rubbing your hand when you're doing this and like i'm not

religious and i feel very uncomfortable and i won't get into the stuff with his daughter because like that was also just it was just uncomfortable she wanted to sleep in the same bed i was not comfortable with that and like she just was very touchy i was not and i'm not a touchy person like to begin with and it just was like super uncomfortable and that adds like a conversation of being like i'm so proud of that girl and i know a lot of people are giving her parents flack for not waking up i'm really proud of whoever raised her and her parents for her having the because i was probably the same age having the language to describe and the knowledge that she felt uncomfortable and that she needed to get in contact with an adult and not stopping and not

being like oh i can't get in contact with them i'm i'm gonna be a bother and again that was like my thing like no one had that conversation with me that that and like so again people are giving her parents shit and i just want to say that like how she handled herself in this is like proof that she was she she knew to trust her instincts she knew to trust her gut and she knew that even if even if it was hard she needed she she had to keep going and like that's just yeah remarkable and i know people are giving her shit but those parents are the ones that contacted the other parents to get them out too yeah and those parents feel horrible i'm yes oh should we end on something somewhat positive yeah let's talk about that i mean it's kind of

old news now but that um lady that uh billionaire that donated all the money to the school and now all those medical students get free tuition did you see people being mad at her saying what a bad use of money this could do so much more like all of these med students with all of their money we're gonna make all this money like this is how the rich stay rich and i was like oh my god we're just saying words this is not what it means if you say this is how the rich stay rich the rich stay rich by not tipping when they go to a restaurant that's the yeah this is how you prepare doctors for the workforce that aren't concerned about how they're gonna pay back their loans this is how you create students that aren't worrying how they're even gonna make it

through med school because of money you create all they have to do is focus on school do they think that it's like the third year and they're giving up you're giving a bunch of juniors who are already enrolled in medical school being like we're gonna pay off this or the rest of like i'm like that's not now you have people applying who this becomes an option that was not an option before like what the what are you talking about like the idea also that like in order to be a doctor like all doctors come from like affluent backgrounds i'm like what are you similar the medical the stem track similar to sports is something that people can get very good at in high school in these programs then get scholarships to go to play like this is

this is change your circumstance and your entire family circumstance like kind of like this is a dream the aspirate this is not there is no roi on this there is no like you have to be in a certain tax bracket to spend all this money that you will actually never make back and you have to have a fallback plan that you can just have eight years of fun painting for that so like that i would have been like okay you know cyclical wealth but also we need doctors we need good doctors and we specifically need we need black women doctors we specifically need less rich white men doctors the only way to do that is to help people who are not rich white men become fucking doctors i was floored by that but i mean not what not what she did i thought that was great but like

i was like what do you want her to give her money to right like i would trust that hell of a lot more than giving it to your city to say that please do x y and z with this because you don't know that they're not going to do that people will complain about anything well my thought my well my feeling is that there's a lot of um they used to be bernie bros but um a lot of like faux leftists that are really just like propaganda bots who are here to try and make leftists look like absolutely irrational and totally crazy and you know like i'm like this is you're harming this and i think that's your intention that's it all right well we hope you enjoyed this episode please tune in tomorrow for fisting friday where we will be sharing the results from last week's

episode join us for but am i watching next week slash send in your uh hot takes her mean girls the movie the musical right now because we are recording in less than 24 hours if you're listening to this on thursday um tune in on monday for don't blame me tuesday for see you next tuesday and Wednesday just think of us and that's it think of us think of us you've been in a very musical mood I have actually this week yeah I heard someone reference Hercules and um I didn't really watch that I think I've seen it one time as a kid and they were referencing some songs the muses well so then I just went on first of all so I know the muses I think they gorgeous you know how much i love gorgeous women and move wearing nice outfits i go that's my kind

of movie show me some girlies and some fits um and i literally just went on my spotify and i just played these two songs from hercules just from my phone again alone matz is not here i was like let me just hear if i recognize the song turns out here i was i listened to the entire hercules soundtrack and i was like last track of time when i was in i think fifth sixth grade maybe it was later seventh eighth grade i don't know some one of those grades um i was in choir and it was a whole disney themed choir concert so we sang a lot of melodies from different disney movies and the hercules theme song was one of them bless your soul herc is on a roll i think my issue is i think of it it's like the same movie to me as emperor's new grove and i've never seen

emperor's new groove oh melissa you would love emperor's i know um earth the kid is in it correct well i was gonna say it has it has the same kind of um uh chaotic aquarius vibes as the incredibles does but more like it's so right up your fucking alley maybe we should watch that for watching we just watch emperor's new groove it's a great fucking movie i haven't seen that in so long i also want to watch the animated atlantis movie again i haven't seen that in a long time either i've never seen it either that was an animated um this scares me really oh because it's underwater i just remember the hot guy i should actually should be afraid i don't like underwater either anyways okay bye talk to you later oh well we'll circle back we remembered at

the same time but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demont plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson