Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Grandpa Might Not Be Mom's Father

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

But Am I Wrong: Melisa: Residing in denial, delusional, detached is okay for right now Meghan: Wearing a blue bracelet is the crux of the issue of why white women keep voting the way they do But Are You Wrong:  Revealing a grandma's secret Texting your ex who is in a relationship But Are They Wrong Melisa: "Progressives" who only complained and/or didn't vote Meghan: People proclaiming that their page isn't for politics Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st.

Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Wayfair's Labor Day clearance is on now. Right now at Wayfair, you can get up to 70% off everything home. Shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. hi hey hey hey welcome to but am i wrong you know what we're not this week wrong no a show where we talk about current events we talk about things that we may be wrong in our lives or rants we uh and then you guys can write in to but am i wrong pod at gmail.com keep it to

300 words about situations in your life that you may be wrong in include your fake names include your pronouns if you would like and include definitely include ages and then our last segment is but are they wrong we'll get more into all that when we get to each segment yeah what a time for this podcast i know i was my cup runneth over with options there were options but as also things i just did not want to talk about right now yeah and then other things that feel like well i don't want to talk about that but then also i don't want to do something that's like so trivial that like it was weighing that so you know i'll explain so our first but am i wrong is where we position or prop propose uh props it's a triggering word um we pitch uh something

that is either happening in our own life that we want to know if we're in the wrong about or a hot take a lukewarm take or a rant yeah and one of the best parts about this podcast is god it's triggering word you get to v-o-t-e you get to participate by clicking on a little poll not that one either by clicking a selection that you feel most aligned with yeah it's like a quiz yeah we'll quiz and then we read that and what happened and the aftermath on our fisting party episode nope and i'll see you next tuesday sorry you're right i'll see you next tuesday it's a tuesday where results come out fuck yep yeah you might have noticed that the uh the those stories didn't go up in the timely manner that they normally do i just couldn't bring myself to do

it so that's fine so we will record on monday yeah yeah so mine i wouldn't even even say it was a rant maybe a hot take a hot take and mine is um well you know that there's five stages of grief denial anger bargaining depression and acceptance and um i i'm splitting my time i'm at the top one i'm in denial but i would also like to add two more d's to that um denial delusion and detached and that's where i'm residing right now girl we are together on that island and i'm fine with that and i think it's perfectly fine for anybody for right now to be in that moment I mentioned on Fisting Friday that I deleted my Instagram temporarily because I didn't want to see people posting things. I also was not liking the flood of messages I was getting in mine.

It was nothing like negative. It was just a lot of people sending me these like hopeful messages that I don't want to see right now. I do appreciate, I'm going to give a shout out to Nicole and Moises, they're always sending me stuff on TikTok and they're just staying consistent. We haven't discussed anything. They're just sending me the same type of videos. I see you. We see each other.

And here's some hee-haw-haws. Congratulations to Nicole. I believe she has in Tulsa, they got their first black mayor. Oh my god, you're right. Yes, so congratulations there. We have some positive Oklahoma news. But they still

are a red state whatever oh yeah yeah like i said i deleted my instagram um i am going to be partying that's not something i've done in years tonight i'm going to a party take your top i sent a text message to my friend that is a international paid dj you know like yeah an actual dj i sent him a message and i said i would like to shake my ass this weekend please tell me where you are dj he said totally understand he he talks more about politics than we do so he's like totally understand here's where i'm gonna be so i will be out um if anybody would like to come shake their ass with me look up dj artistic i'll be wherever he is oh it's already passed but who knows in the coming hey you might still be shaking that i might still be shaking my ass

i'm not reading or watching the news right now i'm quickly scrolling past videos on tiktok about what just happened i'm completely shut out my friend and i were making like serious but slash joking plans about moving to new zealand and i want to thank diana for sending more me more information about that um also i forgot that gail lives there forget you shouldn't have an accent but gail also lives there and gail could probably tell us how to move there yeah and all of that and i firmly believe all that is fine for right now like live in that for this moment i need my mental health to be okay right now i'm okay living in this but know that i will eventually get over that and i will put all this back into action get back into action i will

continue to have my foot on people's necks next um i probably won't move to new zealand until my nieces are adults maybe i'll move to pennsylvania though that seems like the move i've i've been looking into it i i know you've deleted your social media but the first thing i tweeted was so do i move to ireland or do i move to pennsylvania i saw that ireland is offering a lot of money for people to move to tiny remote islands yeah but maybe i've lived in pennsylvania before it's cold yeah like and you've visited a lot as a child got family there yeah but um you know i have nieces i have nephews that i will continue to fight for my niece that's 10 years old woke up bawling her eyes out when she learned the news because she has been following this

election very closely and you know i have to fight for them but right now i'm going to continue to live in denial and delusion and detachment because there was nothing wrong with kamala harris's campaign there's something wrong with america yeah wholeheartedly agree on all of that and like it's a self-preservation tactic you know like i'm gonna gonna have to deal with it why i don't need to do it right this second it's not there's no need for that we're kind of okay for the next couple months yeah exactly or not the next this month the next month we're kind of okay and um you know i i just i am about to pull out my fucking tinfoil hat and like i'm in the stage of the i'm full delusion like i'm not i'm full delusion and that is also paired with just anger

like i'm like i'm mad oh you're moving to the next stage to conspiring i flip like i'm i'm maintaining that i'm like none of this is real but also if it was you're a fucking dick and so that's where i'm i'm at and i have seen people being like you know be kind to uh the shit i don't want to well no not that part it's be kind to the like um progressives and liberals that you're seeing express these like these emotions like it's very real and natural and you know we would never get into your comment sections and say like fuck your feelings and i said well let's not use we so boldly because i do i was doing that when we went i'm being like and so when people come to me and say fuck your feelings they go fair valid i said the same thing to you dished

it right back yeah but when i said it to you you you cried like a little baby but i just the part that i'm holding on to is so wild that so many people opted to not vote after raising so much money in such a short time period um but then also what do you mean every single tiktok astrologer was wrong and all these TikTok astrologers are like I'm not comfortable saying that I was wrong like I still think something's happening and I was like so whether anything comes from that but yeah to me it's feeling like I was obviously very young for that um but uh it's feeling a little bushy yeah so I'm just yeah I don't know I don't know and also my period it was supposed to bleed on I was supposed to start my period on Tuesday and I guess my period was like I'm not bleeding

for this country still hasn't come yet it's also in denial detached yeah and delusional you've got too much on your plate where what day is it what month is it i don't know my skin started breaking out i had one cramp wednesday morning go figure nothing else has come from that hey you know time is a flat circle everything is an illusion uh okay so we're gonna take a break when we get back. Megan will get into hers. Wayfair's Labor Day clearance is on now. Right now at Wayfair, you can get up to 70% off everything home. Shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. my a hot take and feel free to tell me if this is like not my place whatsoever my fellow white

women um wearing a blue bracelet to indicate that you are not a conservative to people and that you are a safe person to me is the crux of the issue of why we as white women keep voting the way that we do and keep being shocked by that. Because like, I think it's wonderful and great if you want to. But I have to say, like, at what point are you having an interaction with someone who needs to know that you are not a conservative without ever speaking to them, getting to know them, nothing like that. It's just to show people, hey, I'm not one of those. I'm not one of those ones. And I think like, hey, if you want to do that, what's the bracelet color for? I didn't vote for Trump and neither did my husband. I didn't vote for Trump and I don't speak to my

family who does. I didn't vote for Trump and I canvassed for Kamala. I didn't vote for Trump and I didn't vote to maintain prison sanctioned slavery in California. I didn't vote for Trump and I also voted for more rent control. Like to me, it's just like, oh, how quick. And I've seen a pop up all over Etsy and everything of being like the blue bracelets. And I was like, wow, god we organized so quickly for a just a little like it just feels so this is so off my radar i have no idea what you're talking about someone made a video basically being like and i don't think it's like badly intentioned whatsoever of being like i'm so disgusted with like my fellow white women like how can i indicate to specifically black women uh trans individuals and marginalized

communities who are so hurt by this who have worked so hard to get kamala elected how can i signal to them that i'm not one of those white women what's hilarious about this is that it's not even hitting the targeted audience if you're trying to signal to black women that this is something that i've had i don't know what this is so it's just circulating amongst white people and then being like oh my gosh okay i found this etsy shop to get this blue bracelet i'm like this energy anywhere else to me this energy anywhere else and also like for the day after the election the worry of being like how can people make sure i they know that i didn't do this and it's like okay and like i even had like some some thoughts this past week of being like

i was i'm i'm always really grateful for the most of the politics of where i grew up like it's very white it's very nimby but it's very progressive like it's very liberal and there are faults that come with that specifically with like white limousine liberals there are those faults of that but like i don't know conservatives i don't know republicans i don't know i grew up with one and i've checked on his linkedin he does not he's not a republican anymore and like i'm not kidding when i say i knew what i don't know any i i don't know any i truly don't know a single one and so when people like make videos being like you know i was like maybe i should move somewhere and like befriend some conservative white women and like you know blue pill them like how do i like what

would it because like that is like a from a position that like i am i am in the minority of white women who are do not have conservative racist family do not have like uh friends do not have like a partner like brother-in-law sister like whatever that is in a the bluest bubble you've ever fucking seen and so I know it's rich coming from me being like you have people in your life that you could do more for but it's just it's so it's so backwards to me because like yeah there are people like that you see who might say that they didn't vote that way but like they're only telling you that after the fact and also I have never once been aware nervous or scared or embarrassed to have someone think that i'm conservative that never even crossed my mind

that like people would be like but if someone like sees a profile picture of me and they never see me talk and they're like oh a blonde white totally i'm not offended i'm like yeah you should have your guard up without a doubt and also like i'm not like what can i say or do and i go well the second you talk to me you'll figure and like i'm not worried about that and like i'm even like moving to a new neighborhood like i was like oh shit should we have a yard sign and monster's like well what do you mean i and he was like i was like do you think people might think that i'm and i said to our neighbors they're like megan no at not what point ever did i ever think that about you and i'm like if you're so concerned of other people thinking that you voted one way why

why why is it not abundantly clear not in a bracelet it should be abundantly clear and like a that like your community how what you talk about what you value and also like how you convey that like not just like oh yeah i have these i have all of these values that i like keep to myself but like yeah even that for i told you that i was uh reconnecting with like with one of my high school friends and i was like i don't know where she stands but i just have a feeling it's not because we didn't i mean when we were in high school there was we didn't talk about politics really and like my friends that i did know that were republicans like it was very different it was different it was a different time and i was like i think she's okay and then she started

posting like things um in the last week and i was like okay okay okay and then she was pissed on wednesday and i was like great i can actually meet up with you when i come home yeah like this idea that it's like how can i signal and also the part that's like really like and i don't think it's being thought through well and i'm like you're trying to signal exclusively to one group and that is the problem it's like without rocking the boat how do i only let the people that are marginalized communities let them know that i'm a safe person without alerting my circle that might not be safe to those concepts and those ideals how can i do that right like why do you feel like harris wall's shirt why do you mean why do you feel like you need to be

approachable like why do i need to come up to you and be like yes i want to talk to you about my problems the fuck no well and i'm like preach to your community and get them out to vote for your rights don't vote against yourself and if we haven't had a conversation i don't care what color bracelet you're wearing i'm not going to be a safe person for someone at all like what do you like that's it's such an odd i'm like what do you think what do you mean like it's putting like a light on in your window of being like you can come here if like what like what do you mean like in what context is this bracelet doing anything other than making you feel better i could also see white republican women doing this as a taunt like that does like nothing about this makes me feel

safe and who's selling these little blue bracelets yeah y'all it's just it's just and it makes me so upset to see how quickly it has like taken off and like i'm gonna say right now i look better in red than i do blue i'm never concerned on election day i'm not wearing red i'm not concerned wearing red and have people going like oh she's she's she's gonna be a raging conservative because a i'm not there's not we have one conversation one or one interaction whatever that is you're not gonna get that from me like there is gonna be none of there is gonna be none of that and so like it's just it feels like the absolute bare minimum to do with the most like the the most like gung-ho effort and i think like if you really were a safe person it would reflect in your life

not on like the bracelet you wear yep so and like again like and i've seen like some black women who've like done things and like wear the bracelet but like the numbers don't lie like i i don't believe you until that shit starts changing so it's it feels very empty and it makes me really really upset as a white woman when we don't organize we don't galvanize and uh then we do something like this so quickly after and like it's just it it is is truly a part of the problem of why there's such a large percent of a percentage of us still voting for trump because we're focusing on things like this which is indicating to the intended audience and being a totally oblivious for the people we don't want to rock any boats with that's the fucking issue i'm so stupid yeah

okay yeah that was a good rant and you're not wrong about that all right we're gonna take a break and we'll get back we'll get into your problems whoo i hope you've got good ones your playlist might get you through the workday but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs what work helped them build a life how did they adapt as the world around them changed with ancestry you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree you've got questions We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st.

Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if.

Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. All right, we're back, and now we're going to get into, but are you wrong? And that's when you guys write in, as I said, up top with your issues, dilemmas, problems that are happening in your life, and you can email us at butamyrongpod at gmail.com. Hey, Megan and Melissa, long-time listener, first time writing in. I'm actually surprised that I'm even writing right now.

No one knows this, so I can't go to anyone else close to me for their opinions. I need to know if I would be wrong for telling my mom my grandpa is. Oh, I'm sorry. I need to know if it would be wrong for me to tell my grandpa, tell my mom my grandpa isn't her biological father. Let's start at the beginning about how I stumbled upon this information. Thank you. My grandma died a few months ago while we were cleaning out her house. I found all her journals.

Grandma journaled all the time. Grandma. it was no secret and she kept them in a bookshelf her journals date back to the 1950s being the history buff i am i just had to have them i cleared it with my mom and her siblings first of course and they said i could have them no one has ever read them i'm thinking it's because they thought they were journals but i realized quickly they were diaries so i started at the guinea and work my way up if i had more time i tell you the interesting things i found moving along yeah send us a part two uh moving along my mom is one of six kids in the boomer area

in the boomer era i'm just so baffled by i know me too she's the third born apparently my grandma met a soldier and had a one-night stand which was super scandalous then she had sex with my grandpa one week later. So for a long time, she didn't know who my mom's father was until she got older. While most of my aunts and uncles look like my grandpa, my mom looks like my grandma. But according to grandma's diary, she also looks like the soldier no one knew about. My mom and grandpa are extremely close. On top of that, she just lost her mom. Am I wrong for not telling her or does she deserve to know? Plus, if my grandpa doesn't know, I don't want it to affect him as well oh my god this is so scandalous as you said um this is this is your mother's father

like your grandpa is your grandpa and also your mother's father and i guarantee there's a lot of people in that time that are walking around with fathers that aren't their biological fathers but those are the fathers that raised them those are the only fathers they've known sometimes they might have been dicks and like yeah tell them but like in this case i don't i i i don't think it's it it's not your secret to tell you were never supposed to know this information to begin with unless that was part of the plan that your grandma left these diaries behind for someone to eventually find but unless there's like some health risk that's gonna happen where like you need to know something or you need something donated where was he a soldier i just it didn't

say but i i don't i think you take this to the fucking grave or maybe you tell your partner if you don't have one or eventually if you have one but like you told us we know and we leave it yeah I think that you'd be wrong if you told your mom wow right now like I think like this is one of those things that like a it has nothing to do with your grandfather like it has nothing to do with her dad like the the dad who raised her so I think like doing it after he had passed I think that is much more like appropriate because like it shouldn't affect their it shouldn't change that relationship there and so then you have the weight on her of like do i tell him but also we also don't even know like yeah it could be like that this is that's her dad but also this is where

to give you some unsolicited advice the what i think is like when you find out information you go okay so i found out this information this other person should know this information but i can't tell them in the way that i got it and i shouldn't come from me so i'm gonna set up a circumstantial situation i'm gonna get everybody 23 and me for christmas like i'm gonna do something that is like no but like or suggest that they do this and be like oh you should do that that should be cool or like i was going through and reading the grandma's journals do you want to read some of them and then giving it so she can decide if she wants to pursue like she not coming from a word of mouth of like hey i read this and i think it might be this i always think it's much better

to like let people take the option to discover something if they would like to on their own but i also think that like this is probably not the time it's not the time at all no no it's not the time whatsoever and if it's a huge missing puzzle piece that would make a lot of things other things click in your life that it's imperative for like health treatment and that kind of stuff then i think that's the only time that i would think that it that overrides the timing of this you know i mean like if only if there's something that is more pressing timing wise that it would of this because this to me is also just like like once i said like some the families are sitting on these secrets for a very long time like this is just one of those

things and it's very very very common and it sounds a lot more outrageous to us now than it might have to them and so giving someone the opportunity of like oh yeah i read some of this stuff there's like yeah very interesting kind of stories and giving her the opportunity if she decides to be like but i think if you brought it up now like that would be that would be wrong yep but even like if you do it like after grandpa dies and like you still have to wait another grieving period for that yeah just like just wait maybe maybe you can do your own dnt get like yeah some grandpa's hair get some of your mom's hair go do a little data analysis see what comes back i don't know unless you want to stay in the gray area too where you don't know either

yeah and like sometimes siblings don't look alike yeah and then sometimes they don't look alike and i go thumbs up and there were siblings where we were like neither one of them look like but then we saw the parents and they each look exactly like the parents okay yeah one looks exactly like the dad one looks exactly like the mom and genetics are wild and they look nothing alike they look nothing i said what are both of you are adopted and i saw the parents i take that back so i think i think the father must have carried one and the mother carried the other it's remarkable how dna works um but yeah also if your mom's a redhead scratch all of that they're related like that is your her her true her biological father unless grandma had a type

no i just mean like if she looks different because she's a redhead oh okay because like people think like oh there's a one redheaded kid you must've cheated on i'm like no that's not how it's like no also like the more kids you have suddenly their hair starts getting redder and redder like it just starts appearing punnett square oh that was a good one that was a really good one thanks for that i we really needed that one yeah okay my turn hello my favorite duo hi i'm wondering if i'm wrong for texting my ex well same so i'm 30 and use she her pronouns my ex and i were together for four years i thought we would get married and then he ended it about a year ago. He said he didn't see the same future

with me that I saw with him. I was honestly glad that he was honest with me rather than stringing me along any longer, but it was a hurt that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I would have you rethink that. I think we should wish those things on our worst enemy. Through therapy and family and friends support, I'm in a way better place. I had blocked him from all social media for a while. I wasn't wanting to see how his life was going. As I was healing, my therapist had me unblocked him so no one so he didn't have that power over me I unblocked him but I didn't follow her at him I stumbled across his Instagram the other day and I saw that he's in a relationship as any ex would do I grabbed some wine and stalked his page and hers I embarrassingly texted him and

asked I hate that I'm embarrassed for you because that's confirming the fact that you're like so I should be embarrassed okay I embarrassingly texted him and asked what does she have that I didn't he apologized and surprisingly told me that he missed me, that their relationship was new and he didn't feel about her how he felt about me even in the beginning. I told him I missed him and I loved him. When I woke up the next morning, I was so embarrassed.

I don't condone a guy texting a girl like that when he's in a relationship. And I'd be furious if I was her and I stumbled across her messages. I'd likely break up with him and I'm so ashamed. I know I was wrong to text him. Was I wrong for spilling my guts to him? I feel like I probably took several steps back

in my healing journey. I've already made an appointment with my therapist. go ahead i have thoughts but go ahead yeah you did it so like it's one of those things like would i have advised you to do it no would i tell you to not do it yeah do i think this was a good idea no uh do i think this was productive no but like you did it like and i think like i'm kind of a believer in like the same thing that we have with not wanting to say like your feelings are incorrect like you're you're entitled to feel how you feel but i think for like certain impulse things like this that like you do you didn't you didn't ask for permission you're

begging for forgiveness and so i'm like maybe maybe you had to do it like maybe you needed to like embarrass yourself a bit to have that like reflection on it but i also have questions why your therapist is like i'm black and he doesn't have the power over you that is my number one problem i think you need a new therapist because like that's insane fucking therapist that is my problem i think it's your fault not have done this no i'm clearly not ready for that i am pissed yeah why would your therapist say that that is my number one issue here i i don't think you're wrong you were doing what your professional had told you to do but they were not ready the therapist is in the wrong here yeah i would honestly probably get a new therapist after this

because like this to me like i can't even like rack my brain for an instance in which like my therapist would have said this like would have been like yeah unblock them because like the whole thing it's like no no they can't take up brain power if they're blocked because you can't see them you can't engage like it's literally a removal from that like if my if i block someone my therapist would be like jumping from the fucking chair being like oh she blocked because i'm not a blocker i like don't block people and she would have been thrilled she would have been so happy and excited that i like her she was like let's just our goal is just to not let them on the finsta but if we got to blocking that would have been amazing but your therapist would be like

unblock like like what is that that is that feels like sabotage like i'm i'm do i think like what you did yes it was wrong but it was a cause and effect to it and the cause was your fucking therapist and they should have never fucking told you to do this yeah this is just so odd to me and i some therapists are not like great therapist and also like it can just be like a difference in personal opinion that like for them being like i just want to be on like a good a good page with everybody like i don't want to hold any like if you're holding any anger or resentment or animosity to someone like that's taking up energy i call bullshit on that i can dislike someone and like not engage pretend they do not exist and it takes up zero space in my mind i would like our

therapists i won't say your names because i don't want to call you out but i would like i need y'all to please write in with your opinions on this please i know one specifically will have strong yes that's mainly who i'm speaking to because i don't really know the other people's names but i know that we have multiple therapists that listen to this but the one that i know your name please where i did sansa stark sophie turner tell us those candid feelings yes oh yeah i don't think there is it is not wildly uncommon for people who uh fit into uh certain certain uh psychological types that are quite destructive um to instead of seeking help in that and ways to manage that and cope with that uh using this field of that to uh further their own personal diabolical agendas

it's not uncommon i thought it was like crazy and then i was like no no babe that is unfortunately not and it's also in some television shows yep all right um i hate your therapist so much i'm sorry and you probably think that you're making some breakthroughs with them and maybe they are helping you in some areas but i do not like that they did this this would be a deal breaker for me me too like even if they were like you know what you're right i shouldn't have done that like this would still be a deal breaker also are you trying are you gonna like get back with him now i know because like is that what your therapist like like i hope that we've i don't know if we gotten to you before you go to therapy because you were like calling them right after so like

let us know what they said to you because now they're like oh he still loves you you should get back together and if your therapist is with kaiser now is the time just yeah they're striking now's the time to switch they're striking you know yikes please write back please i want to know we're going to take a break can we get back we'll get into but are they wrong hey y'all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust visit wayfair.ca we are back for our final segment and that is but are they wrong where we nominate a person

place or thing something in the pop culture zeitgeist current events that we think deserves some shitting on mine are um quote unquote progressives that did nothing but talk shit about kamala harris the whole campaign or people that also consider themselves progressives and didn't even vote do i think we should be critically talking about our politicians absolutely yes we should be but there's also a time a place and a way to go about it you've talked about it numerous times i also talked to a friend yesterday that's canadian and he you know can't vote but he lives here in the u.s and he said that so many people that he knows they didn't vote and but they woke up angry yep on wednesday and were complaining to him and he said you have no right to say this

like you you literally have no right because you didn't go vote and now he's like going through his friends and getting rid of people that's a canadian in the u.s that i respect yeah me too i saw bernie sanders tweeted out it should come as no great surprise that a democratic party which has abandoned working class people would find that the working class has abandoned them while the democratic leadership defends the status quo the american people are angry and want change and they're right first of all bernie sanders you're not a democrat even though you participate to participate like you are a democrat and you also run against democrats like you put yourself in the running for president under democrat even though you don't identify as a

democrat taking votes away from the people that should be getting votes for you didn't do it this time but you have in the past also do you not read any of joe biden's policy because joe biden's whole economic policy for this term has been about the working class people he has saved union pensions he saved union jobs he's back the working class and and they still turn him down so what you're specifically talking about are the work white working class you meant in 2015 2016 and like there's nothing there's nothing about that that makes sense right now why why are you talking a friend of mine who um i went to college which she's one of my sorority sisters she uh goes by hope writes love sings on instagram and threads and i think you all should go give her a follow

but she said i count so far 11 decent size to large platform social chains thought leaders on my Instagram timeline who only ever criticized Harris on their page for not being progressive enough these past few months sharing today I want to throw up memes and sentiments the hell did y'all expect I'm not laying blame on you for this loss but like what in the hell did y'all think only criticizing the black woman running against a beloved white man was going to do for her in this country this is wild and then someone replied to her and said folks tried to tell them but of course they didn't listen and now they either have to put up or shut up about this revolution they have been screaming for then my friend responded they really sat there quietly while that woman got her

ass handed to her daily on these apps over foreign policy that existed long before her time in office and not even officially heard doing yet while barely mentioning any other genocides happening across the globe and now they have the urge to publicly be like orange man in office again is bad i'm not surprised by much but they are who i feel truly disappointed in at least stand on business write that indifference out so yeah i agree with that we've talked about that at nauseam offline that like and i grew my dad quite literally used to work with bernie tenders like campaigned with him back in the day like so that like i understand that perspective but bernie sanders told young white men that the the worst thing that you could be and the most underprivileged

thing that you could be in this entire country in this entire world is poor and there is no intersectionality there is no crossover there is no it's harder to be a poor woman it's harder to be a poor black woman but it's just no class solidarity over everything and in doing that you critique a black woman who is so deeply overqualified for this at a entirely an entirely different level that you are critiquing a old white man and also the standards of which you hold those people to like that is like the thing that i find so infuriating about it that it's like yes class consciousness we all need to yeah be on this page together but to like look at to to look at this like you're going to in the country of america uh in your mind treat a black

woman the same way you would treat a white man and think that that's a good thing a you're not you're the standards are exponentially different that of which you have and we also know because there's a lot of other candidates specifically women not jill stein motherfuckers who have almost identical platforms to bernie sanders but with bigger track records and they don't like them and the amount of times that the vitriol i've been told from trump supporters and bernie bros is not it there is an overlap in that kind of thing and specifically seeing white white men but like white anyone who's white but seeing that rhetoric there it's like this is what we said was gonna happen and i even watch like videos of people who are like you know i'm not gonna vote

and it's like well who do you hope like who do you think it'll win like oh i think kamala will win of course they don't pronounce it like that um and so do you want her to win well yeah of course i want her to win and then i will fucking go vote for her and i think like if you abstain from voting and i said this before if you abstain from voting as like a white person in the united states if you abstain from voting i should not fucking know that you should not be on your platform saying that it shouldn't be like well this is we're having a community conversation with other people who are in blue states i go how the fuck do you know how the fuck do you know that you're not influencing people who are in purple states who are in red states where their vote really counts how the

fuck do you know that you're only talking like well i'm saying i'm just talking to this intended audience. That's not, that's not how it fucking works. It's not how influencing works. You can't do that. You can't just say, I'm just talking about my experience and I'm just talking about what I'm doing. If you're talking about your experience, tell me six months later, tell me after the fact, tell me when it's not that, tell me how you feel about it after the fact. Don't tell me, well, this is what I'm planning on doing. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm telling you what to do. Vote. You should have voted for her. And if you didn't vote for her and you didn't vote at all i don't want to hear it yep it makes me so it's so mad because like yeah we talked about

this like we're very selective i'm very selective of when i will critique someone and like it's it's just like it's giving zoomer energy like there are some people are far too grown up to be doing this and i'm like this is giving and i'm an anarchist and i'm like 22 and i've been there i get that i totally get that but like you cannot be influencing those people in your 30s yep you know better than that yep so angry and none of them are real political organizers either because political organizers would tell you shut up if angela davis if you're not on that side rethink that at all rethink all of your resistance anyways okay so um mine is a nomination to all white women specifically the influencers saying that i don't want to bring politics onto this page because this

page is about love light and happiness and like i don't want to weigh it down with icky things like your human rights and civil rights like that's just like so not aesthetic so not chic i would rather talk about the sephora sale similarly to yours then don't say fucking anything just shut the fuck up just just shut the fuck up but this like digging in deep to be like oh i'm gonna pander to both sides and i've talked about this like at nauseam before when people do things like this and they refuse to say what their stance is or they're like can't we all just like vote and then be quiet and like still love each other afterwards all that is to me is like i actually some people be like that's so clear you're voting for trump i don't necessarily think that it is

all i know is it doesn't matter to me who you voted for because what you are doing is i need to make sure that the audience i've pandered to that i've cultivated the audience that i specifically want they don't go anywhere even if i might do things that don't align with that so either you are pandering to conservatives and that's the audience you really want and that's not how you vote or you are conservative and you prefer to have an audience of progressives because you find they're more engaged they're kinder whatever that fucking is and you're like oh i have intentionally misled you and I don't want you to know that because it's not an accident like it's just not a fucking accident and they're sure will there people be who slip in do we like

in 2020 have people being like wait I thought you were all about love and light what do you I was like there's no no way it was so few people but people who like got online being like oh my god I lost like 30,000 followers and I go and people like Megan you must have lost them and I up no i did not there was there was not there they did not feel safe here and any of the people who said that they did were lying just trying to get a rise i'm like there's just i have never been that you've never i've always been a bitch i've always been a cunt i've never been about love and light i've always said i will bully you to your face and online like i will so like this idea to me that like this is the the the self-righteous and the kinder pathway because the other part is

the only people who respond to those that sentiment and go thank you are conservatives that's the only people who are like oh finally someone said it and then you see them like liking those comments but like if you wanted to remain apolitical if you didn't want this to be a page about politics then remove this video where you're talking about how you don't want this page to be a page about politics because now you've made it about politics now we're talking about politics who brought that up you you and it's just it drives me fucking crazy um and so i don't even know if anyone who listens to this is like well i need to find those people like like you said earlier it's like yeah you go through go through followings of people who follow donald trump go

through people who their significant others also follow those people candace owens specifically conservative podcast accounts sometimes people won't follow the person but they'll follow something show uh what the who's what matt walsh the daily wire babylon b i don't even know who some of this is that's like the onion but for conservatives and i saw someone who i knew you know we didn't agree on a different thing that they i saw them posting something that i was like holy shit that's incredibly xenophobic and xenophobic that's fucked up did not know you were like that um and then i like looked that they had recently followed that and like then I saw them liking things that were like about making fun of a Barbie in a wheelchair and I was

like what the fuck like cartoon villain like like okay you're just now now you're angry and you're aligning with conservative talking points which did not seem like you before um but finding those things and um this is this one's crazy oh real news no bullshit that's another like sneaky one that people will follow but one that is like a bit of a dog whistle to me but then I have to follow through is when people don't follow any political things and they only follow um oh my god what is it like good news daily or like it's something that's like was created to be like we're not talking about let's just show videos of toucans being cute but it was created in like i think 2020 like height of like discussion of politics like human civil rights so to me i'm like

if you only follow that and that was created as like a bright light amongst all of this like sad dark depressing news and that's the only one you follow that's giving i don't keep politics on my page because all i want is love and light because you'd follow other random other cute animal accounts not just that one so yeah and if you didn't hear someone talk about this that tells you all you need to know people's friends too like and even if you're like oh this person has a family member that's like it doesn't matter this person has what if they if you're married to someone if you're dating someone if your friends are all like that like you're signing off on that being okay and viewing influencers of being like you know may it but but they have

the and i go if you can find one piece of evidence to go well maybe they should but everything else is pointing to the opposite and they have not told you and they have not made it abundantly clear like any of you have you questioned my political beliefs no i'm not doing anything crazy this isn't like radical whatsoever but like you should feel as confident about my views about other people's views it's just kind of like a yes or no switch it's just like you either you do or you don't this like nuance will always be intentional I would never never want anybody if they think I'm conservative I will be like I'm not gonna let you keep thinking that right specifically I'm not gonna let conservatives let thinking that I'm like oh you've never heard me speak okay what can I do

now because maybe maybe I get a little blue bracelet like and I'm just waiting for these influencers who are like let's just vote and like you know it's private like nobody needs to know who your vote who your votes for just yeah you don't need to know and like yeah i saw someone else who was like i felt the very same way of being like if you are so disappointed by all your favorite influencers what that tells me you don't have a great radar and you follow a lot of white people like i did i think i am followed one person who i was already a little skeptical about like following before and that like might have been it like someone their views will be you will not need to dig when you dig you find out that the girls from the morning toast their mother is

quite literally a terrorist that's what you have to dig to find if people are talking about who they are as a person and their ethics then you should already know yeah and if you have any question that's your answer you should be able to and like i even said this like in the height of 2020 of being like i how can i make it but i want you to do the littlest bit of work i want someone to do one two taps on my profile i don't want someone to be like let me scroll and like see if they're a raging bigot i want it to be easy easy for you if you're digging if you have to dig it's for something people don't want you to know yep the end all right uh that's our episode for today thank you so much for listening thank you so much for joining us make sure you participate

by clicking the little tappy buttons on the story we'll upload later about this hear us discuss what the conclusion of that was on our see you next tuesday episode yeah it's a story an interactive of story it's like a pic it's like a flip picture book a pop-up adventure very dora except she chose for us swiper no swiping oh man we will circle back circle back bye bye this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d monts plus diamond imprint productions Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.