Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: He Took Back He Loved Me

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

But Am I Wrong: Meghan: Wedding refund after a death Melisa: Rapture rant But Are You Wrong: Out of his league Talking to his ex again But Are They Wrong: Meghan: The MAGA Dentist Melisa: Arrowhead Union High School Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Listen to Melisa’s New Show https://apps.apple.com/in/app/pocket-fm-audio-series/id1538433480?mt=8 Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Write in for BAIW - [e-mail] DBM Submission Form BAIW Submission Form Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Womp womp? This should be more of a celebratory noise. don't sing ajr that's all we just listened to yeah you just charlie poofed that you just redid the exact same chord progression perfectly but that's a typical 50s no no i know i'm just saying that you poofed it but it's not poofing it if it's coming they poofed it but they took it before from the typical 50s no i'm saying charlie poof can just like i know who you're talking about no i'm saying but you just did that oh i was giving a compliment thank you i thought she's resisting so terrible i thought you were saying i stole it no no i was saying oh oh my god oh my goodness gracious golly me that was incredibly impressive you just did the exact

same thing your your little noises are off today thanks fag sorry i'm one big blister one big blister yeah well this is the first time they're going to be seeing it they're gonna miss your explanation tomorrow so you should restate what's going on with these crusties if you're on patreon so if you are watching on patreon and you're like oh what happened to her lips great question blisters no idea what it's from uh i might know my the way that that sounds like the match was like what do you want to eat for dinner tacos and i was like ow and everything he says i was like oh that sounds so painful tacos will be fine that's what i'm thinking and just like less salsa um so i'm thinking i either had an allergic reaction to a lip balm which has happened before

just not with this lip balm or i accidentally put tretinoin all over my lips and then you know something happened and then i made it worse because i was like everything's fine and i kept eating salty food and spicy food and then blisters formed and then by the end of the day yesterday i was just mouth breathing and i couldn't close my lips together and i'd take a benadryl to go to bed but the benadryl help yeah it just makes you forget yeah pain what pain and short term and long term not supposed to keep taking it with a lot a lot of use i just feel like we have to be specific when we're talking about over-the-counter medications these days you're so right so right yeah so that uh if you take it too much it's not good for people

who have um dementia in their family and i'm like oh so what if i did that for a long time and then i stopped like yeah i mean because people are abusing it like using it just as a sleep aid oh that's what i was doing yeah i mean there there was a time i've spoken about this before where every night as soon as it was time for me to go to bed i would just break out and hive so i had to take it but you know once that stopped i was fine you know i was taking it it was so weird that was the weirdest time in my life how old were you it wasn't i mean it was since i've lived in la oh weird i actually know another adult like the same thing happened 10 years ago yeah i know someone in their 30s where it just started happening no but and then it just stopped

weird bodies are weird so what is this show megan uh this is a show where we we talk about wrong people wrong things and and the wrongness of the world gosh there are so many options so many so many things to pick from so just know we are not ranking things when we're talking about them it is what comes across our desk what we think deserves what we think we would enjoy talking about and enjoy is usually a keyword there are some times where it's like i really don't want to talk about this but we gotta but most of the time if you think of like oh why aren't they talking about the world on fire and they're talking about this other thing well one of those things is more enjoyable for us to talk about and we think for you to listen to yeah so yeah we've got three

different segments on the show we will explain each one before we get into that segment to not overwhelm you with information but what you need to know is we want you to participate and you can participate in a multitude of ways you can write in for one of our segments but the way that you can participate in every single aspect is voting on who you think was wrong in this episode and that is over on our instagram stories we post stories with polls there and you vote who you think was wrong and then you write in why you voted the way you did and we read those results along with your thoughts and feelings on our see you next tuesday episodes and it's a it's a fun time sometimes there's updates so our first segment is but am i wrong where we pitch to the

other and the audience either something in our own life that we want to know if we are in the wrong about or it could also be a rant or a hot take you're up first megan let's say you know how hard it was for me not to talk about my real life this week i was i mean that would be a very personal but am i wrong but we really don't do those that much anymore i know i was like would i be wrong to and then i was okay how can i phrase it in a way that's not would i be wrong to commit this crime would i be wrong to have the urge to do this would i be wrong i think the way to do it is how we talked about it would i be wrong to to manipulate and say that i'm coming i'm not that would be the way to phrase it but i have to worry about my digital footprint mostly because i'm not ruling

out doing it so i don't want to get i don't i don't i don't want to take spoil also now the transcriptions are part of this it makes it a lot less fun i know because they can just fucking google the keywords and i'm like okay let's not like okay and i i want to restate that it's great for people you know totally that that you know in assisting people to to read if they would prefer to read um i'm not being ableist it's just it's the searchability of it's the searchability if it was so that it was just native to the app yeah and not to find it better yeah the fact that you can google us and like a couple of like phrases and then it's like oh here's a transcript of that to me no you should be locked in yeah like let's talk about removing the context

okay so instead i just realized that there is like it's not like a total parallel to like my actual life but it there is a an aspect of it that is not unlike it and i didn't realize that until my hot take okay and my hot take is if the bride or groom dies before your wedding you should get the venue fee back i didn't know this wasn't a hot this was a hot take because i understand more that i so understand like freelancing and all of that kind of stuff of like needing to have a deposit and you know these are this is kind of place like the same kind of world that we work in where it's like we pay for our own health insurance we don't have benefits we don't have a company and so like there are things that

like you charge a premium or you do things that are not typical of like other jobs and that's because you need to get you need to get a deposit all of that kind of stuff um but for weddings we've kind of like kicked a deposit out the window and most of the time it's like you're paying up front before it happens like almost the entirety of it or like the vast majority of the bill uh but this came to me um because of something i saw about a durham man who died five months before his wedding day and the family is trying to get the deposit or the venue fee back the deposit that was eighteen thousand dollars so he his name is chris perry and he proposed to kristen seidel during in italy in 2024 and

then when they were back home they booked a historic venue okay i'm having more questions it's called the cotton room in uh-huh that's why I immediately was like where is it North Carolina

that's I was exactly my thought process and then I googled it and it said historic building and I said show me the outside this is a warehouse

there's pictures of the outside oh you found it it looks more like a school yeah okay it's on google oh yeah it looks like a firehouse or a school

you're right I i understand why there's not more pictures outside it's it's like a warehouse it's yeah it's not looks like a shipping yard so um once back home in north carolina they booked that they booked the cotton room for an october 11th 2025 wedding so engaged in 2024 then october booked at for their wedding then in may 2025 he collapsed and died suddenly and they alerted the cotton room two days two days after he died which to me i'm like oh my god that's you didn't like that give it a couple weeks like in the sense of like i was a venue like i'd be like 100 you don't

even have to talk to me about it like that's just like that's so fresh and then immediately being like okay cool we have to do we have to do this like this is we have to go through the list of like and that's what happens when people die like you have fucking tasks and shit to do and then having a wedding that you've already planned on top of that like already dealing with the death and funerals like so fucking much um and they alerted him with it they alerted the cotton room within two days and they had already at that time paid half of the total which was eighteen thousand dollars for like food drink rental fees and all of that and according to the cotton room contract they said the money is non-refundable but you know the circumstances situation they felt was

different so they were like you know that's why we are asking um and they initially had told them that they would refund some of the money if another group booked at the same date but the venue maintained that it would without a doubt keep the 7,500 deposit for the venue space because it did hold the date for 11 months huh you you book that to hold that day and the date's not going to be used so you don't actually need the money from that anymore um and the venue was not rebooked and they have given their condolences but they have not given back a dollar of what this couple had paid and their statement was while our deposit policy is non-refundable we deeply sympathize with the family's loss and extend our sincerest condolences and then they were asked how

the money was spent and responded saying that it was used to support the advanced planning staffing and operational commitments required to prepare for an event of this size in other words those funds are tied to the commitment to the space people and resources leading up to the day not just what physically happened to the event date it didn't happen so securing all of those things you know for a fact they didn't pay the caterer like they're not paying the like the waiters the wait staff like oh we have to pay out for this day i'm like this seems a lot but then they were being very generous and they made sure to tell press um that they would not require the family to pay the remaining 50% balance of the contract before the wedding because it was like

well you're supposed to pay that after the wedding and the wedding's not happening so that's my take like I understand like the price and the cost of all of these kinds of things but like if you're gonna be like a stickler for that I don't know my conscience like I would not be able to to like keep that like level of money for that because like it's just something that you have to keep thinking about all the time then um and the maximum i'm like okay keep if you want to keep your deposit 7500 okay i still don't think that's cool but like keeping all of that yuck yeah i think yeah this is tricky coming from like a business standpoint because it was on the calendar it was held these people were expected to work that day and i and it was like a few days but before it

was supposed to happen no no not five months oh five months i thought you said five days no no they told them two days after he died like immediately oh i thought you said five days no five days everyone said they would understand like if they had already they have to pay people people have done all that that would make i don't think anybody would be disputing keeping at least a larger like a portion of it okay i take back everything i just said i thought you said five days okay yeah so there's no setup they haven't done any of that and they had five months to book that day for somebody else yeah no then they had plenty of time to because most of the people that would have been working there would have been like contract workers like a caterer would have been

you know they i'm sure the caterers found another job in between there like most of the people did yeah i take back everything i just said to me this is just like such an expensive pr move like i i think like there are certain things where it's like you're gonna lose money from a business perspective but it like from a goodwill perspective you gain so much more in future business for this i'm like that money that you got you are now losing on future weddings and future events because people aren't going to book with you because they think you're a fucking an asshole yeah yeah and i also think if you're really controversial i think if you are that strapped for cash and this is like you're it's so close from going under i think that

like having it be like weddings that you charge all of this kind of stuff for like you need to start doing senior home events you need to start doing all this other stuff but if it's like if one wedding will derail your entire financial thing that you like lose your job and all of this kind of stuff i'm just like that's not that's also poor planning because i'm sure they don't book out every single weekend so therefore just because somebody didn't book on that specific day doesn't mean that they didn't recoup the funds on a different day exactly it's like it's not like you have weddings every single day and if it's it's one one wedding that doesn't happen you're like we're screwed now and i'm like yeah that doesn't make any sense yeah yeah uh you're not

wrong and also it's called the cotton room because it used to be a textile factory that's why it looks like it should be in commerce california i was like this is looking like a shipping warehouse you can understand the name and the location made me a little yes me too i got a little worried but when i looked at it i was like that's not a plantation no the interior was i wondered if it was like a mill all right we're gonna take a break and when we get back we'll get to mine hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to

learn more. Scotiabank. You're richer than you think. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. we're back tell me about it well we're we're here so that means we didn't get raptured um so that's that's what i'm speaking about today the idea of the rapture is not this gentle, abstract, theological concept. It's a powerful cultural phenomenon, one that drives fear, dictates political action, and costs people their peace of mind, their savings,

and sometimes even their freedom. So my take this week is that thinking the rapture is coming is a clear-cut example of religious delusion. I know some people say psychosis, but that's not the correct term for this so uh saying that it is religious delusion is not an attack on faith but it's a critical analysis of a specific modern and often destructive set of beliefs to call it a delusion is to recognize that it is a fixed intense belief that persists despite overwhelming contrary evidence and historical reality we will explore the delusion by examining its psychological profile, its recent history origins, and I want to specify recent and the consistent failure of its predictions and the real world harm it causes. So let's first establish

what we mean by delusion in this context. The research on religious delusions highlights several key maintaining factors. One, grandiosity, the belief that one holds a unique special status. You are not special. Two, internal evidence, anomalous experiences or mood states that serve as proof. And three, resistance to change, fixed conviction despite evidence. The rapture narrative is the ultimate grandiosity of delusion it centers on the conviction that you are the true pure believers who will be instantly and physically removed from the earth escaping the trials tribulations and suffering that everyone else including your own non-believing family members and friends will face this belief is cemented not by verifiable external facts but by a powerful

internal emotional state, a feeling of knowing or a specific vision or prophecy, which counts as the internal evidence. It is a self-flattering, fear-driven delusion of exclusivity. One of the most powerful arguments against the rapture being a timeless core truth of Christianity is the fact that it is a theological novelty. The belief that fateful Christians will be secretly and instantly snatched up before a final period of tribulation known as the pre-tribulation rapture is a belief that simply did not exist in the Christian church for the first 1,800 years of its history. This specific doctrine, the despotitional premillennialism, was popularized by the English clergyman and the Bible teacher John Nelson Darby in the 1830s. There are actual

photos of this man, so this is not an old concept. This is new. Think about that. A foundational belief for many millions of modern Christians are essentially invented by one man less than 200 years ago. The idea, based on a particular reading in 1 Theologians 4, verses 16 and 17, when they dramatically popularized an American evangelical culture, especially in times of stress. This interpretation was solidified in the public imagination, not by ancient church councils, but by modern sensationalist mass marketing ideas of media. Hal Lindsey's bestseller, The Late Great Planet Earth in the 1970s, and the immensely successful recent Left Behind books and the movie series.

this theology deeply rooted in the 19th and 20th century american culture and anxiety not in the unchanging bedrock of christian scriptures to cling to it is an as an ancient core undeniable truth requires a willful disregard of history the most compelling proof that the rapture belief is a delusion is its track record it is belief that it is continually disproved by the calendar yet maintains its convictions look at the historical pattern of the quote-unquote great disappointment william miller in the 1840s predicted jesus return and the world's end setting the final specific date to october 22nd 1844 that day arrived and nothing happened followers of miller like the founders of the seventh day of ventus and the jehovah's witness simply adjusted the

meaning or the date. Charles Taze Russell predicted in 1914, when it fell, they made adjustments to accommodate the failure. In our lifetime, we've seen the infamous Harold Camping rack up a staggering 12 failed predictions. And today, we have the latest phenomenon, hashtag rapture talk, driven by the South African man, Josh Maleka, who predicted the date would align with the Jewish new year in september 2025 the key to a delusion is the ability the inability to let it go even after reality has definitively contradicted the belief when the day passes the goal post simply moves some push the date back others shrug it off still others like this person on tiktok to uh message this creator misha claiming that the failed event was just a test run and this was

after they had they don't know this person they messaged them and was like hey i live an hour away from you can you take care of my dogs because of the rapture and misha was like so you're saying that i'm not good enough to get rapture and they're like they reached out to a random creator yes and i'd be so offended i'm not even religious i'd be like yeah so that's what fuck you that's what Misha was saying that's what I'm getting at so Misha was like so you don't think I'm good enough to get raptured and then the person was like I think you're funny and you have a good heart you just joke about a lot of things that God is serious about and then Misha was like so I'm the designated hell dog walker like what are you talking about and so Misha was like you need

to block me and when you're still here when it happens and then so then this person uh messaged me was it was like that was just a test run can i also do dogs don't go to heaven then it depends on who you're talking about if you tell me that these like crazy religious white women who like love animals more than they love people if they think that they're dogs to me i'd be like this bursts a bubble in your whole fucking thing well it's not just white people and i'm saying but specifically you know the white women who love yeah but i'm gonna talk about even more people that are doing even worse things so this core psychological mechanism of delusion the belief structure is a self-sealing no amount of evidence not a hundred years of

repeated documented failures can penetrate the conviction because the conviction is rooted in internal feelings of grandiosity and the fear of external eternal torment not in observational reality so the rapture is far from harmless this specific religious delusion extracts a devastating price in emotional psychological and financial terms emotional trauma think of the children ex-evangelical kelly chaskin described lying awake nearly every night between the ages of 8 and 10 developing obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety because she feared that she wouldn't make the cut and would be left behind as a child another shared the grief of feeling like they couldn't dream of the future because marriage family or career would be cut short then there's

irrational actions people who are selling their homes for ten thousand dollars giving away cash to strangers or laminating instructions for their bewildered neighbors there's also um this lady said that this woman that lived next to her gave up her children to cps child protective services believing that she would be raptured but her children wouldn't and then the lady was on tiktok like get my children back this is a black woman too so that's why i'm saying it's like even worse that like yeah like i know religious psychosis is like not the right word but like the certain like the differing levels of reactions like you just said the person who like stayed awake at night like developing ocd and all of that that like religion can be like such a comfort to people

going through tough times or when their mental health is poor but like if if you also combine the wrong kind of religious like environment with like other mental like the reaction is just like that's that's like that's so so scary yeah and then there's also control and fear as there's one source that noted that a great way to keep people in line uh is to give them fear and the Stakes are very high, eternally high, like you'll get tormented forever if you don't conform. And this prevents followers from asking questions, from exercising independent, critical thought, and from engaging with the world in a way that seeks justice and mercy rather than an escape route. The belief in imminent rapture is a religious delusion. It is based on a modern, questionable interpretation of a scripture.

it has a 100 failure rate across nearly two centuries and causes real measurable psychological harm and financial distress the repeated failure of the rapture is not a sign that we need to find a new date it's an invitation to abandon this delusion and eternally our mission is not to look for an exit door to heaven but to fully be present in the world that we are live that we live in and and are given let us set aside the manufactured fear and the grandiosity of being chosen and instead focus on the demanding beautiful and necessary work of improving this world that we live in right now flawless tell me if i'm off base because you know i my knowledge of religion is not uh extensive but like to me like you said like trying to just like flee to heaven like look

for a back door or whatever it is kind of giving immigrating to heaven for a better life in the sense of immigration and like leaving it's not immigration because the belief is that if you're um follow jesus then you'll go to heaven regardless but like did you see the woman who was saying that she was like i she was like so worried about people who didn't believe in god because she was like you're gonna be stranded here in this hellhole like that earth already was hell in her mind and like we have to go to heaven to have like that's where the good like that's where the like the good life is it's so bad here gotta get off this planet or i don't know she said planet i'm not sure what the what her that aspect of it was but to me i was like that

it it's it obviously comes from like people of all different well i actually don't know the like it comes from like not just americans who have like this is like a worldwide sort of a thing so i don't want to say like oh this is conservative but this woman was a conservative white american woman and it was just so odd for me to see someone who was like you know god bless america profile all this like love america love america kind of stuff and then being like we have to get out of this like this place is hell and i'm like huh this feels like reminiscent of like progressive people being like i have to like i want to escape america this place is like the worst or whatever but i found it just so that she couldn't see the parallels between her describing this place as

horrible is only okay when she does it if there's a religious connotation to it but the thing is is that heaven is presented in a way is like that is everybody's like if you're doing quote-unquote the right thing then it is your kingdom to inherit so she's so it's not from all the people yeah it's the people it's not the place and so like with immigration it's more so yeah place not the circumstance of the situation but the people is that that's why it's hell yeah because all the people and it will only get in her mind only get worse because all of the good people will be gone will be ascending yes so a better parallel for that would be believing in jesus but jesus himself is an immigrant who was turned away so that is where yeah that parallel

okay that makes sense that makes sense yeah this i yeah i every every oh i feel like every day i'm on tiktok and seeing things i'm like wow i'm like so i'm constantly uh just shocked like not shocked but like i'm just like constantly learning more about religious trauma and like how like the worldview for people like growing up with that and like that's just like so scary and the social media memification of it and like watching these people like crash out in real time and then like never come back to their accounts i'm like this is so this is so like yeah just just wild and i even remember being scared in like 2012 and like the mayan calendar is gonna end the world's end and i was like i knew i was like this is not real but like there was still a part of me that like

woke up the next day being like okay i guess we're good but like and like i wasn't predisposed and like how a group was raised or grew up with anything like that of like a fear of that or like thinking that that was going to happen or it's an imminent or whatever but even still with that like just the narrative and language around it like it can get really serious and like really dark really fast so yeah these people need help i did see one person apologize oh that's great there's a black man but the other people i'm still keeping watch me too i've bookmarked yeah and screenshotted some usernames they need help that's the thing 100 and like i wonder what it's like to be those people's like to be in that in community with those kinds of people like what

like your those are your neighbors those are your you know family members those are all that like even if I had a if it was like a cousin I hated who posted that I would be like I'd like call another family member I mean like hey can you check on that like this is it's concerning and especially if they're in like an echo chamber of that with their community that I get really worried for their kids yeah i mean that woman literally called cps to pick up her own children which i have to say of all the people to call i'm i'm glad you didn't call like a random like person who you think isn't gonna go to heaven yep like that man and the dog cps is probably like oh for sure i hear you thank you for calling actually thank you yeah and then the neighbor that posted

the video was like i'm trying to get them back and i was like probably in the best place for gonna be i know the system is rough but totally there's but there is a level of not doing well mentally to do to to like self submit your you know i mean like and i think in general we look at that but also like children are seemed as are deemed as like pure hearted so to think that you're going and your children aren't going is very messed up totally like there's there's layers to that aspect of it that i'm just like oh this needs to be and also like we look at people who like check themselves into rehab as like that's so great you're being self-aware of this and i think even to me like calling cps for that they have to there's they might i don't think they're they

were like cognizantly thinking about it but like in their subconscious that was the right the right part the right people to call because i doubt they're in community with people who don't agree with them like religiously so wow you're not wrong and uh i learn more about this every day religion and i mean technically i also learned a lot about the rapture this week too yeah it sounds phrasing wise it feels for all the pictures i've been seeing of people with like lights glowing and they're floating up like sims when they die um rapture sounds like velociraptor And it is giving a little more, like you said, snatch. It's giving beaks and talons.

All right. Well, we're going to take a break. When we get back, we'll get into, but are you wrong? and pre-work conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready. With a whole world and more. When you buy furniture from Wayfair, you're not just getting furniture, you're setting your home up for a lifetime of memories.

Visit wayfair.ca today or download the Wayfair app. Furniture made for all of life's moments. That's Wayfair. Wayfair, every style, every home. we are back it is time for but are you wrong this is where we read your circumstances situations situations that you have um found yourself in or are pondering are spiraling about not to put words in your mouth and you want to know if you are in the wrong and we will tell you also we have opened it up if you have a hot take or a rant as well

and if you want to submit to that email it to but am i wrong pot at gmail.com keep it under 300 words it is all anonymous so we do ask we actually don't ask we require you to tell us how old you are but we ask that you do not include any real names and if you want to get creative with the fake names that you use go for it but we need we need we need some tell the story all right what you got i'm a 22 year old from london london and i'm really struggling with something i've never been able to get past i've never had a serious relationship or even been kissed and i think i know why it's the horrible concept of quote-unquote leagues which i know sounds terrible but i can't help but believe in it every guy who shows an ounce of interest in me i just find

myself completely uninterested i convince myself that if they're into me they must not be what i'm looking for but the guys that i'm truly attracted to the charismatic effortlessly cool ones are so far out of my reach that it feels even pointless to try there's this american exchange student on campus leo pick names people i don't know he is a perfect example he's popular and has this amazing confidence i'm completely drawn to but i know for a fact he wouldn't even know i exist i see him across the quad immediately dismiss the thought of ever talking to him because i just know he's in a completely different world i'm stuck in this awful cycle where i push people away and i idolize others from afar i hate this concept of leagues but i live by them do you think i'm the one in

the wrong is this self-sabotaging mindset that i'm creating or is it a harsh reality that i have to live with i'm hoping you can help me make sense of this stop reading books that's the only advice i'm giving you right now i need you to get i need you to get off the books i need you to get off the books i need you to get off of the romance tv shows like this is giving falling in love with a fictional character which i understand like i i i get it like i have had you're talking to a girl who used to write fanfic like i have had like obsessions with like fictional relationships or fictional characters to like a point where you know it don't do that anymore like it's just it's not productive and and or healthy but this idea and concept of like leagues or whatever is not

real also so many like there's a whole joke about like there's a beautiful woman and he's just there like there are so many things like that like so many different aspects of it um to me that's just to give you a little bit of harshness to this um with the attitude that these men are better than you and you're viewing them as these men are so wonderful and you're nothing it is not going to work out with you because it's the confidence issue it's that's and you're attracted to his confidence he and anybody is actually that's not true the only people who are attracted to people who are like deeply not confident are people who want to take advantage of that people who want to prey on somebody who's like feeling like so vulnerable and is just like not in the right

place to be dating or they're also insecure too well that to me like it's like a shy thing like it's like i'm just saying two two people that aren't confident can come together where it's not where they're taking advantage of the other but if your type is like i really like an insecure girl what why do you like someone who's insecure like there you can just happen to be two insecure people two not confident people two more quiet people but like actively seeking out i prefer someone who has no self-confidence is like that's a massive red flag so I think like knowing what you are attracted to what you are attracted to you that is how you attract that that and like there's also something that like I think you're also idolizing him in a way that isn't necessarily

romantic that like he has these qualities that you want to have and that's inspirational not necessarily lustful in that way but also you're already taking yourself out of the game because you're like I can't talk to him he doesn't know I exist yeah because you're hiding and cowering away I promise if you came with some confident and like talk to him and you know just like made your made it so that he was aware that you existed you could be friends in the at the bare minimum if this is somebody that you're actually compatible with but right now you're just idolizing him you're you think you're you're you're physically attracted to him and you think that you like are attracted to him on another level but you don't know him he could be the

biggest asshole in the world you're just seeing the facade or who he's being around other people that could not just be that could not be the real him you've built up this character in your head so get to know people when you get to know people then people can also learn more about you too and also if you're just rejecting people because you think that that they're out of your league then you're just as bad well yeah because i guess i wonder i'm like there's no in the way that you have written this out and i think that's probably what you're like you're feeling it's like there is no solution you if someone is approaching you you view that as that you are out of their league and you're not attracted to them but then people who are out of your league in your words you won't

you won't go to approach so who is in your league that you feel like what is that and then what is the solution there because if automatically like if there's someone who you find attractive and they approach you do you immediately be like oh they approached me so therefore or they must be not in my league like it just feels like it's so arbitrary that there is no real categorization of that and like like Melissa said like you have to get to know people to know if you actually like them like and if you're like in like really wanting to keep an arm's length distance to like every crush that you have that's avoidance and like I could say that from personal experience like it means that you can like project onto them personality traits and things that they

are that they and they can't dispute that because like they're actually not really in your in your life and like or it's an unattainable kind of crush or something that it doesn't actually have to move forward with like a relationship or anything like that but like i'm really curious if you've ever seen she's all that like i to me this is like psychologically it feels like there is intentionally no way for you to win so to me it's like self-sabotage at like the highest level because like there is no reality that you have described in which you get to experience any sort of relationship and love and like that to me is like a much bigger thing to unpack than like the specific crushes on specific people it's like what makes what a what makes them more worthy than

me for that kind of love and what makes me more worthy than these people approaching me so i think that's like you are you are wrong in this instance and then i yeah i would be really curious like what how you view your league does because does your league exist is it only out like below your league and out of your league and i want i wish for everybody to have the same delusional i don't even think it's delusional that's how delusional i am confidence that like a leo has you and that people were like name a celebrity that you could you could bag and i was like honestly i could name the ones i probably couldn't that's that's easier for me like it's you there is just something it's so it's just as easy to be delusionally confident

with no evidence to be delusionally insecure with no evidence to back that up like it's all in our head either way also he's american and what we learned from yeah i was about to say he is well just don't blame me hasn't come out yet but yeah he's listen to that needs to come up for air i would pick pick somebody else pick somebody else get somebody else to do it by it i mean you yeah we can start with the kiss on the lips the top ones don't i can't even do it with my mouth right now well don't try stop stings all right next one i'm writing for berlin because i'm hoping you can tell me if I'm crazy I'm 22 and I've been with my boyfriend Brandon for six months early in our relationship he told me he loved me and I was so happy I said it back but then

he confessed he lied he said he just wanted our relationship to be perfect ever since I felt this constant nagging doubt now the girl who cheated on him his first love Clara is back in his life as a quote-unquote friend. As much as I try to be mature about it, it's all I can think about. They share a lot of mutual friends and I feel so irrelevant and insecure. He hasn't given me any reason to believe he's still in love with her, but my trust was already shaken by that lie from the beginning. Now I'm in a constant state of anxiety with this irrational fear that I'll never be as good as she was in his eyes i'm worried that i'm overthinking everything that i'm a mess of insecurities am i wrong to feel this way or is my gut right that something isn't okay

here wait are they still together yes okay why are you still together with a man that took back that he loved you if you watch the video of me there's a moment where i realized that you kept you didn't you didn't include the ex and i went and i literally i'm like i had to reread all of that because i can't wrap my head around the fact that that you you gotta you should have broken up with him i know this is your first relationship but this is not how relationships work people don't say i love you then take it back and then stay together and then you don't start talking to your ex that cheated on you that you were in love with you gotta go you gotta go trust your gut you're not wrong you're wrong for staying in this relationship get the fuck out this is not

your last relationship just because it's your first doesn't mean it's your last and not to project onto i think you need new friends because the way that i if i if my friend this happened to my friend and they were like we're still together i would be like no you're not because i have actually shipped him off to a different country like there's just this to me is like so of course you're insecure oh my god you stayed with a guy who said that like that is and and of course he's continuing to disrespect you because he goes sick and get away with that like can't keep doing that like this to me does he know that you're still together is he just back with his ex-girlfriend like did how long has it been since he said the i love you and then make oh law jk i take that back

like what was the timeline of that and then like does he love you now right it doesn't it doesn't matter it really doesn't matter none of that matters i think actually the only thing i would say matters is that like if he said i love you and then four months later was like i actually don't love you and then never said but i love you now and there was nothing like that and he's just like yeah i don't love you but like we're tight and then you stayed with him i'm like he just he just should not have said anything he should if that's how he should have broke up yes if he came to the conclusion that i just got caught up in the moment like did he say it when y'all were having sex like how does that just fall out of your mouth like love you bye like oh sorry i

shouldn't have done like you have to treat it like a serious thing so because you said it back and he just said cool yep this is where we're gonna be right now or did he like think about and he was like you know what i actually don't don't say anything no if you're gonna stay with that person that means that you think you will eventually fall in love with them just don't say anything or break up uh-huh uh-huh there's like no reason to tell this person and like have them go fucking crazy but like i know people who and like a lot of people have said this that like they thought they were in love and then they that relationship ended and they got in a new relationship they're like oh i now realize and they never said anything now i realize that how

I feel about this person I don't know if I was ever in love before with that person and like what I always say is like there's different kinds of love and there's a different level of love that you can love someone the older you get and the more relationship like the more experience you have and in different relationships but like that is for him and his therapist that is not for you to know ever I think even if you break up like I don't think it's big by the way I never loved you ow just whip my cord in my face but like never loved you like it's just the the goal is to hurt your feelings with that and make you feel like stupid and you're still with him but ex-girlfriend irrelevant well i mean they are relevant if he was like actually i don't love

you because i'm still in love with her no i think he's just he's just acting it out without saying that word he just did the first half right but the fact that he took it back and they all stayed together that's enough to end the relationship yeah but then her being coming back into his life and they're like cool now he's just waiting it out till she's ready yep get out all right well we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into butter they run Thank you. fandoms that matter most learn more at accenture.com spotify hey y'all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up

that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust visit wayfair.ca wayfair every style every we are back it is time for but are they wrong this is where we nominate a person place or thing something in current event pop culture zeitgeist that we think deserves a public shaming and my nomination is you'll be able to tell just from the name what side you're gonna lie on it she goes by the MAGA dentist and uh so she works at out of uh Skyline Smiles in Santa Clarita they have like scrubbed her from the social media but she still has in California yes sorry right Santa Clarita that's in California um and she also has social media where she goes by the MAGA dentist so she

is like speaking at like I don't know some fucking hotel event room with the step and repeat that says republicans and then her dentist's shit or whatever and i guess she's talking to other republicans i don't know if they're dentists but you know people who align with her politically it was a room of her he he ha ha's we love it girl some people might have been actors to that like not actually involved like enjoying that and that's why it got posted but i'm not sure if it was just conforming it looks like it was screen recorded from someone else's like story um and she talks about how she misses when like democrats would skip their appointments because of covid and they would just be instead wearing masks at home and i'm like okay lady um and says

that if they complain about the prices she just is like how about biden what's she called bidenomics biden not biden like a biden economics bidenomics and wears a hat that says make your smile great again specifically likes wearing that when she knows that she has like democrat at patients um and she has pics of republicans all over the wall trump all of that kind of stuff and if they look horrified for patients or complain she says in her words verbatim she quietly cuts back on the laughing gas and then she says you got this it's not as bad as you think it is and that she quote-unquote stole that from biden now it seems that she is a pediatric dentist children are not having political views it's their parents so i don't know if that part

has been confirmed that she is inflict it's point blank fucking insane to do it and to admit that you're inflicting pain on patients based on their political views um it's really fucking insane if you got and said that publicly with a hee hee ha ha and your patients are kids because there's also like some i don't remember what that like what the rules are or whatever but like there are some like dental practices where like they don't let you have your parents in the room after a certain age and like that is so fucking scary like so fucking scary so this woman is fucking insane and her husband's also like a neural like a neuro something something brain brain doc related to and that just seems scary very scary i thought it was a joke when i first heard it or somebody

miss sharing information but then the actual clip is just right there if you can listen to her speech where she says it verbatim and she's loving it yeah and yeah their reviews are tanking she needs her license snatched a hundred percent expeditiously she does and everything yeah i was just double checking to see if i haven't been able to find if she was a pediatric dentist um because they've like scrubbed her from websites if she's licensed her license would say i wasn't trying to find her license on the dental website oh what's her name so skyline smart oh so modern dentistry in santa cruz valley pediatric dentistry cosmetic dentistry veneers wisdom teeth removal aligners and teeth whitening so oh pediatric in there what it doesn't say oh she

does okay pediatric and i'm looking at her her on there it's a lot of content like geared to kids but like clearly like she's got uh that's a large portion of her patients i'm gonna assume disgusting yeah all right anything else nope mine also involves children and so i want to talk about uh the school arrowhead union high school the students don't have the right to use the bathroom when they want to so they have this thing this new thing called electronic hall pass system known as e-pass and it's been implemented at the school and the technology itself is in use at other schools without the issue the way that arrowhead

is using it and the way they're using is deeply concerning the school has imposed a strict limit that students are restricted to either use the bathroom you either get three visits per day or seven a week whichever comes first and this policy was what they thought it was designed to do was to target a few children, a few students, and punish the students, then they say it's like a safety violation to improve learning and to minimize inappropriate behavior. But can we truly say a student who is forced to hold their pee or shit or whatever they're doing, or even like they're on their periods, how is this maximizing their learning? Can a student who is afraid to use their last pass for the week

really be focused on their education. So some of the students have spoken out directly and gone to the school board about this. J.P. Mullen, a cross-country athlete, points out that the system penalizes him for staying hydrated for his sport. He says, say I drank a lot of water that day and I try to go to the bathroom two periods in a row.

You just can't go. It's messed up. Another student, Gabby Eggers, notes that if you have extenuating circumstances, the system doesn't care. The message this sends is that a student's basic human needs are less important than an administrative quota. It tells them that their bodies and their health are not their own to manage, and the irony is that other schools are using the exact same technology have found it effective without these arbitrary caps. Pewaukee, not sure how to pronounce it, P-E-W-A-U-K-E-E High School, for example, allows students to use the pass as often as they need. They've proven

that the problem is not the technology, it's the policy. So what they're doing is using it more so just to track where the students are. Yeah, that makes sense. Right. And instead of policing them when they can't use the bathroom the idea that the only way to address vaping or loitering or you know having sex in the bathroom is to deny everyone the basic right to use the bathroom is a heavy-handed one-size-fits-all solution it creates an environment of distrust instead of one that fosters responsibility yeah that's insane and i say this is someone who like i had my adhd was like not treated at all in high school and or in any time growing up and so much of my anxiety is adhd like so much of it is and because it was like i'm different i'm weird like

there's something wrong with me and like i was so hyper aware of like everything i said everything i did and all that i would never go to the bathroom in school i would never i it would only be between classes and it'd be like before lunch but like i would never go to the bathroom if there's like a lot of people there. I literally have never in my entire, I never like shit at school once in my life. Like I even like peeing and stuff. Like I wouldn't be so too anxious to raise my hand to like get out of class and go to the bathroom. Unless like we had a teacher, the only way that I would, I would like do that is if we had a teacher who I knew was like cool and like lenient about it. And specifically if they had a bathroom pass that was like by the

door and you didn't have to ask and you could just go and come back but like making this like this whole thing of pressure and this whole idea you now have kids who are not going to go just not even because like oh i don't want just the anxiety of even using one of them like you said of being like well what if something else happens for that or just like i don't want to get in trouble i don't want to get in trouble and there's this fear of consequence and like what the fuck is that consequence for this but i just think this is insane like just fucking insane and we're all those two quotes were those all students at this school incredibly well they went spoken about this school board and to the principals and stuff and and spoke to them yeah they're like that

was yeah uh yeah incredibly impressive and also i hate loitering what the fuck is what standing around god forbid someone stand god forbid and like i just like kids will do bad shit wherever but if you deprive them of basic necessities guess what they're gonna do worse shit they're gonna do so much fucking worse shit and if you make there a consequence for something and that's always been my biggest thing if you make a disproportionate consequence to an action which involves separating kids because it always fucking does of ending kids in juvie you then put kids with other kids all kids who have done quote unquote bad things to different varying degrees of all different things now you have them together isolated told they are bad told they are different

than everyone else you know what they're doing they're talking to each other about the shit they've done you know they're getting each other into other shit because they're you've been telling them that they're they're they're bad and they're unfixable yeah exactly and then it's like you have to be separate from your other classmates because you're going to turn them bad huh huh no one comes out of that being like yeah i i feel like i really learned a lesson or i have grown from this whatsoever it's like no no i felt i was categorized into something and so then it was like okay if i'm bad i'll be bad makes me so mad that's fucking stupid well that's our episode join us on tuesday for see you next tuesday on thursday we've got don't blame me friday is fisting friday

all right and we will circle back bye this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz production assistance by melanie d watson and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso