Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: Media Literacy

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

But Am I Wrong: Meghan: Benson Boone has an op Melisa: We need more career politicians But Are You Wrong: People need more But Are They Wrong: Meghan: Betty Who Melisa: Jelena Ostapenko Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Listen to Melisa’s New Show https://apps.apple.com/in/app/pocket-fm-audio-series/id1538433480?mt=8 Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Write in for BAIW - [e-mail] DBM Submission Form BAIW Submission Form Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to a brand new episode of But Am I Wrong, starting to people who have not once ever been wrong wrong wrong it's negative melissa oh my gosh thank you so much so blessed to be here today thank you so much um we have a wonderful show for you it is compromised of multiple segments compromised comprised comprised i was like, that doesn't sound right. It is comprised of multiple segments. Words are going to get easier, I swear. Multiple segments. And we will explain each one of them before we get into it. But what you need to know is we want you to participate. There are multiple ways to participate, but really the big one is to vote on who you think was wrong in each thing that we talked about on today's

episode. You can head on over to our Instagram. We post stories there that we add to the highlights and it's a little poll and you get to tap, tap, tap, vote who you think was in the wrong, who wasn't and you can write in reply to those stories and say why you voted the way you did your thoughts and feelings sometimes we say things or we have topics that like you have a lot of feelings about and like that's the place to air it out we want to hear what you have to say and we read them on our cnx tuesday episode the results as well as your thoughts and feelings sometimes we even have updates from people who've written in or pop culture updates on stories we've talked about so to grand old time a grand old time really tapping into your heritage

i want to watch dairy girls again i like miss just being able to slip into the accent because like if you don't watch it for a while you lose it you don't use it you lose it exactly that's what that dairy accent does to you it really is it's it's fickle all right shall we get into our first segment i think we shall our first segment is but am i wrong where we pitch a hot take a rant something in our life that we want to know if we're in the wrong about to each other and it's honesty and we say are you wrong or you're not so am i first you're first my hot take is benson boone you have an op amongst you you have somebody on your team who has been encouraging these word salad AI songs,

your sparkly little jumpsuits with your belly button showing and doing backflips off of any elevated surface. When this whole time, you had the ability to sing Adele in the original key. Like I'm willing to forgive that you are Mormon based on that video. If you can promise me,

you will ship all of those sparkly jumpsuits back to the Elton John impersonator you stole them from you you will put on you can put on a gown you can put on a suit i don't want you wear a gown you're you're a straight mormon man and i i don't like that i want you put on a suit put on a you want to wear a tank top wear a tank top i don't need to see your belly button ever again and i need your two feet planted on the ground at all times if you must you can get on your tippy toes you just feel if you feel the song through your body and i need you to sing because turned out you can fucking sing this whole time he's been able to do this

and this is not what he has been putting out here huh huh it's like do you have a humiliation kink like what is it that made you go no we're actually not going to cut we're not going to showcase that i can sing adele in the original key um instead let's do this moonbeam ice cream stupid shit and then let's do a collab with crumble cookies which congratulations the founder of crumble cookies did in fact just come out as gay after i mean is it really congratulations well here did you see the video that sparked it it was it was some guy being like i'm sorry like why did no one fucking tell me that the founder of crumble because he like did a house tour and his guy i know i've seen all of it i've seen i've seen grant from um twink and redhead he did a whole breakdown oh

that's who you're talking about grant is grant literally was like i don't ever like to out people but sorry you weren't doing a very good job of staying in the club grant i had saw grant's whole thing of breaking it down and that's the video that was out of the closet yeah i mean there were many people bullying this maga right-wing republican to come out and you know i don't speak upon the community that i'm not a part of but oh okay you're gonna hate my but am i my wrong of the week then I am in business that it's not my space but I'm in there okay I'm there I think it's so funny though his like his coming out pose everybody's like so is he coming out as Mormon or gay because it was like he basically said the word like he said

Mormon like so many more times he said everyone's like I thought we knew he was Mormon and then someone made a response and they were like wait I'm sorry I fully missed that one time he said he was gay in this I thought this was him coming out as Mormon I just that man also like he scares me like the look of his face and uh yeah he has gay face but like it's like frozen in time look at you melissa saying i'm not gonna i'm not gonna speak on a community that i'm not a part i mean that that is something i think that gay faces you can just look that's not something you have to be part of the community this man's this man has taken his skin and he has stapled it behind that's what i said it is he's a gay face that's frozen it is it is i've actually never seen i

didn't know skin could do that like i think when those staples dissolve i i fear he his skin is gonna fall off like necrosis like i i i don't think it's gonna be good i think it's gonna look like when someone takes out gauges from their ears for years like that's gonna happen to his face I don't even know how he fully closes his mouth it's so so taut and like I hope everybody knows how big of this this is for me to say because like I hate Benson Boone and like anytime I overhear someone talking about Benson Boone like I have to tell people like fuck Benson Boone Benson Boone sucks but like turns out that bitch can really fucking sing I mean I you could hear his tone i can't it was just the the choices of song yeah and the flipping you could tell that

he could sing but like stop flipping because you can say like we don't i don't need like a dance like you're not even dancing it's just like a flip break yeah but i'm just saying i don't know why people are so surprised that he can sing because i could hear him that's why i initially liked him the rain yeah it's true you did the range for me is like that is that is surprising and you know what that is because i'll admit it have i ever been able to get through a full Benson Boone song of course not of course not but when he covered Adele i was like what the but i do i do need him to get out of those goofy little costumes as he's doing it Adele Adele performs at in vegas in a in a gown with with a beautiful hollywood glam wave and i'm just like and here

you are in a in a latex race car driver spirit halloween costume that you've cut out the belly button for because for some reason you need us to see your belly button all the time maybe he want somebody to blow raspberry i also still really hate that um grammy's like performance where he just like kept grabbing his dick and his fucking like little latex costume i'm like when i first saw him and he said i actually think i like this little boy to the sinking i wasn't actually paying attention to the performance i was on my computer but i was listening you had to have a big distraction because that was

it was shiny and there was a lot of gyrating I mean I like looked up but I didn't really look at him yeah

so wow she's really good in the words of Camp Rock I'm making another one Camp Rock Camp Rick

the brothers and Demi on speaking terms again which is the craziest part brought they brought her out to perform with them i know which and then they were like let's get the next camp rock going i'm just i need to know how the reconciliation happened between i don't know anything about them or their relationship so i can't speak upon it everyone thinks the real shocker was that

demi and joe recon like we're friends again now it's demi and nick if you're if you're in the you understand all right we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into mine your playlist might get you through the workday but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. going on vacation we're here for it with kids who turn the backseat into a courtroom drama

over whose tablet is louder whose charger is faster and why watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right yep we totally have vehicles to handle that because whether it's a road trip or a business trip where your flight's delayed your phone's at two percent and your dinner is whatever is open, yeah, here for that too. Enterprise, we're here for it. All right, we're back. And it's time for me to get into mine.

And mine is, my hot take is, I want more career politicians. you're speaking my motherfucking language you know how i feel about this so we've often heard someone say with a certain air of disdain i don't want to vote for a career politician the phrase is so common that it almost feels like an acceptable truth at a time when cynicism about our political system runs high this resentment towards those who make a profession of public service seems to make perfect sense we are a generation my generation specifically that has been told to be wary of political class but i'm here today to change that line of thinking

because as rationale as that resentment might feel it is in fact deeply unfounded in my opinion It ignores a fundamental and logical truth that politician is a profession like any other that requires skill, practice, and knowledge of theory. And we the people deserve to have the most qualified person for the job. We would never board a plane piloted by someone who had never flown before. We would never allow ourselves to be operated on by a surgeon who had never picked up a scalpel. Why then would we entrust the leadership of our communities, our states, and our nation to a person without the necessary experience? Being a politician is not a hobby.

It is a job that needs to be taken seriously with a skill set that takes years to hone. While a law degree is not a mandatory requirement for public office, it's easy to see why so many of our leaders have one. The legal profession provides a master class in the various skills required to govern. It teaches you how to construct a coherent argument and how to think critical under pressure, skills essential for public policy and debates. It provides an awareness of how policies are applied and interpreted, helping a politician understand the real-world impact of new law.

A law degree offers a deep understanding of the legal system and processes by which our laws are made so a person isn't simply learning on the job. but classroom learning isn't enough. We also need leaders who are amongst the people. The most effective politicians are not just versed in legal precedent or political theory. They are deeply embedded in the communities they serve. They understand the daily struggles, the local issues, and the unique challenges of their constituents. The ideal politician is a hybrid, someone with the institutional knowledge to navigate the halls of power and the lived experience to genuinely represent the people they serve. So let's address the elephant in the room,

the career politician. A quick look at American history reveals that the vast majority of our most productive and progressive presidents had extensive experience in elected office before reaching the White House. This wasn't a coincidence. They didn't have to spend their first term learning the basics of how government works. They could hit the ground running using their hard one's skills and knowledge to lead effectively. The resentment we feel towards career politicians is often a distraction funneling our energy away from more important issues that need to be resolved. This isn't to say that politicians should serve for life. In fact, I believe the necessity of term limits. Term limits provide a crucial check on power and ensure that we have

a regular influx of new ideas and perspectives. It's a way of balancing the need for expertise with the need for fresh blood. It prevents stagnation without devaluing the very real and necessary skills that come from experience. Look at the mess that we're in with our current president who has no experience in the political office at all. Look at Reagan who is the reason for the downfall and the reason why trump got a i think if we fix the reagan timeline i think a lot we would have fixed the trump timeline it would have fixed a lot of racism that happened um so like i am tired of these people coming in with zero experience and running these things like a business or entertainment spectacle and not actually serving the people. So in closing,

being a politician is a demanding and complex job. It requires a combination of legal and legislative expertise, a deep connection to the community, and the practice skill that only comes from experience. When we choose our representatives, let's move past the knee-jerk disdain for career politicians and instead demand the most qualified person for the job because we, our communities, our states our nation deserve nothing less and we when we don't follow this we end up in the mess that we are in now yep i mean i've always said that i there are three professions where i need you to be an egomaniac narcissist a surgeon a pilot and a politician because you need to believe that you can do this better than anybody you you need to be like yeah i am qualified to have

people's lives in my hands and like someone who's like i couldn't i i don't want that responsibility to do that you have to literally think you are the best of the fucking best and have the skills to back it up the skills and the education to back it up you have to like so wholeheartedly believe that there is nobody better fit than you for that that you have dedicated your entire fucking life to being like yeah here told you so like you can't have imposter syndrome like it is all of this and that i'm just like yeah and also you have a track record of this like i and anytime anyone's like well you at the end of the day like this person's still a politician and i'm like so yeah because it's politics yeah and so like in saying all this like i you know i think

you can work your way up into becoming you know president or whatever but you need to have had a track record in local politics before you even do that so once you get into politics you are therefore a politician so that doesn't make any sense yes and like the only perfect politician is a politician who's never held office like and therefore they're not a politician exactly it's just a dream but also like as president you have to make like it's the trolley decision all the fucking time and like this idea of like people who are like well i would simply find another track for the trolley to go that's not the question that is not the option like you have to have someone who is okay making decisions that like both options have catastrophic results

as opposed to being like well what if we just had a whole system where there were no catastrophic results okay and if my grandma had wheels she would have been a bike like yeah what you're not wrong thanks and will i be voting for my hot sexy villainous governor to run for president of course i will the career politician yeah yeah yeah yeah but you know what he's worked his way up and he has studied yep yep all right let's take a break when we get back we'll get into but are you wrong we are back it is time for but are you wrong and this is where you write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com or you fill out the form on our socials or list in the show notes with the

circumstances situation that you want to know if you are in the wrong about we also have opened it up to your own hot takes and your own rants um and and we tell you what we think keep it under 300 words and it is all anonymous so if you want to come up with some fake names go for it as long as we can follow it you're good am i wrong for thinking people need to learn media literacy and not think fictional shows are reality tv and that we also need to stop being so desensitized to violence currently with the summer i turned pretty people are saying a character is i can't oh my god i'm pissed out if you watch the show currently people are saying this character is quote unquote getting a bad edit and that they're twisting things against him if the script writer and the

author of a series wanted him to be portrayed differently he would be it's not an edit it is a script further saying characters and the respective actors or people who work on the show should die or be killed that's crazy die or be killed for an ending someone doesn't want is insane inundating actors and people's personal accounts with threats because of your opinion on a tv show ending is unhinged and we need to separate fiction and reality again i have resisted this show because i i have no desire to watch a show about like teenage like high schoolers and i think like now they're a bit older but like when it started but i also remember when this book came out and like it was like I think I read the book in like middle school or there was it it was

recommended as like a oh if you liked this book whatever you'll like this book but it came out when I was in like high school or something like that and I remember picking it up and being like oh no I feel like I was I was already being like I'm a little too mature for this probably wasn't but like we I was like see everybody talking about it and I really what set it off was I saw someone being like the lighting in this show is beautiful and i was like i i love to appreciate some great lighting let me let me see if i can watch it and i started watching the trailer and i was like i i can't like i i i want to but like i'm i'm having a hard time maybe i'll get into it but it's like i know bits and pieces like of the story because it was a very popular book as well

what the fuck do you mean people are calling it a bad edit like that's open the schools i i haven't heard anything about this show except for seeing the ads for the show when i turn on my tv because i have a amazon whatever my tv is run by by no it's not that either but my tv itself is a smart tv from amazon so therefore prime is it's a fire tv that's what it's called yes sorry so therefore um prime as soon as i turn on my tv i'm getting ads for stuff that plays on prime and it just didn't feel like i probably would like it but just there's so much tv that i haven't watch that I didn't and I also don't like the title of it sorry yeah I I have to say that like the initial rollout for it I think like they her name is like belly and like this the summer I

turned pretty and I was like it was very much giving like this is far too young for me and like now that they've aged up more but like I do think ultimately I would like it but I think the marketing of season one i was just like i'm not into that yeah but people know too much now and they also don't use it correctly in the same way but not enough yes like they know terms but they're not defining the terms bring back spelling tests bring back you know when i did spelling tests we had to do the not just know how to spell it but had to put the definition next to it and they use it in a sentence yeah and i think that that's missing or people just like hear things and they're like okay now i know how to use this another example of that is saying that people

aren't media trained and i'm like what do you think that means yes like this is right or you're not wrong because none of this makes sense and there was something else that i saw actually it was in your comments yeah they're talking about you didn't know what pr was and i was like and i just laughed i literally responded and said i am a baby i don't know anything like it's you don't know how pr works i have no idea how pr works i've never had a publicist like no i have absolutely no clue how pr works you're right thank you so much sarah a 17 no a 14 year old from fucking nebraska who has never left the 20 mile radius of your hometown like you're right i don't actually know how pr works like it's so stupid and i feel like it did start with like the

weaponizing and the misuse of like therapy speak like it's like the gas lighting and all of the has turned into like all of this like we've lost the term nepo baby people are deeply confused what nepo baby means and it's just word salad word salad yummy yummy like that is the vibe of this and like what i will say conflating like the actor with the show that's like people do that like people been doing that yeah yeah like it sucks but like and i don't think it's right or correct I don't think that has increased as like due to like a lack of like media literacy or like not knowing the difference between fact and reality it's just that they have more access to actors because of like social media but like people made fucking t-shirts for like if you were

team Jennifer Aniston or team Angelina Jolie like fully grown adults were wearing t-shirts of what team they were on after Brad Pitt cheated on Jen Aniston like this is that's not new like soap actors talk about how they have been in the grocery store and they get smacked because of things that they're like people have literally walked up to them and smacked them in the face yeah yeah so i wouldn't i i would say that like probably compiled with the rest of like how people are treating this show as a whole it's giving like even more unhinged than like a typical um sort of like fan base i will in general when there is like romantic love interest as like young men that that's kind of like the prime spot for that delusion to be created and i really know

that one of them is like great offline and the other one is like a raging conservative so i that also has to be a factor in people feeling so heated about which way she chooses because it feels like a co-signing of an ideology you know those those those two men also do not look fucking related like they look so not related and i are they supposed to be related they're supposed to be brothers she's like just keeps bouncing back between fucking brothers but i did see someone make a take because i guess like she's like really pissing people off right now um like the character okay her choices that she's making um which again i'm like did this are these did they totally divert from the book because like is that part of why people are mad because

like i don't think you could be surprised then if this is like literally like the ancient text is there the book from 2009 um but that she i gotta take where someone was like no this is like all because she's ending up with a guy from what i've seen on tiktok with a guy who literally got her a that was like a hundred dollars and it's like so tiny and ugly and like he keeps cheating on her and she like keeps forgiving him and she like won't forgive the other brother for like being emotionally distant when their mom died and he she he keeps saying when his mom died and i'm like you are brothers though like both and she's just like he just like totally neglected me and like my feelings and i was like okay so you're cool with the other the shorter uglier brother cheating

on you but not the one who who was like distraught when his mom died like okay um but so i said that the whole thing is technically a love letter to the beach house where she like really like spent the summers with these boys that all she wants at the end of the day is the deed to that beach house and i was like maybe this everyone's like this is actually a show about real estate and like the lengths you will go through to get a house on the sand and i was like well that makes sense to me the house is beautiful but i don't think we need to keep fucking brothers maybe she just wants to fuck them both at the same time is it disgusting yeah but like if you did at the same time maybe you would be finished because like why would you want to be

in this why would you want to be in the same hole that your brother was in before like are they actually fucking i don't know i've never seen it i don't know i don't know if it's like a very like chaste like virginal kind of thing because like they're getting she's getting married like in college okay which people are like or like she's like 20 21 or something and i've seen um ones of being like if like her name's belly like if belly had a friend who also had an asian parent like who came from like an asian household being like your mom is letting you what something's wrong like this is this is insane like what do you mean that your parents are letting you do this like this is crazy like she needs at least one friend who's like what the fuck are you doing but i don't

know if there's like a you know saving ourselves kind of mentality i have to think not because like what are we considering cheating at like when you're older than like what 16 17 holding hands kissing yeah anything that you're not doing with your actual partner is cheating i turned pretty but i think he's in call i guess but i would assume unless they're at a religious school i think the implication was like he like cheated when he was at college or maybe they didn't have that summer turned pretty do i just search sex they added a sex scene oh in the books she doesn't sleep with them also you and i don't like is their brothers and the beach house is in a place called cousins beach gross yeah beautiful home though so yeah this you are not wrong writer no look at

that house oh yeah i'd fuck brothers for that house i'd fuck your dad for that there is it their house it's their family house and not to be dark mother did die but come on yeah but imagine if someone who has taken that home gets you 150 engagement ring but i will say thread up did a really funny thing of being like things you can buy from thread up that cost is like it costs less than her engagement ring. And I was like, that's funny. All right, now we're gonna take a break. Your playlist might get you through the workday,

but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st.

Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. and we are back it is time for but are they wrong where we nominate our wrong of the week someone who uh we think deserves it now um if you'll recall the beginning of the episode Melissa said she doesn't like to speak about, you know, communities she's not a part of. That's the, just remember Melissa said that. I didn't say that because my wrong of the week, I am all up in gay people's business, specifically lesbian business. And I want to do, I do want to give a disclaimer. I am not gay. So I want to give just at least three accounts to check out

their conversations about this, who are a part of the community. First one, these are all on TikTok. One is Old Saint Beatnik, B-E-A-T-N-I-K. The other one is Livigold, L-I-V-I, Livigoldi, L-I-V-I-G-O-L-D-I. And then also Horace Gold, H-O-R-A-C-E-G-O-L-D. Lots of golds in here. And yeah, that's, those are people. I mean, Horace went to college with the person that we're talking about. um and they all kind of touch on different not even different like perspectives but like

different from their own different identities and like lived experience aspects of this and they also all touch on different turns out this person has been saying a lot of wild things for a long time so my nomination is betty who do you know who betty is i know what we're getting into she's familiar yeah yeah so betty who um is a singer and i think it's really important to know because i had no idea that betty who is australian and she's like lost her accent in the last couple of years so i think some of the statements that she has said have been like oh problematic but like not as like wow what the fuck because they seem to be said by an an american um but i do think that like her being australian saying some of these

things like makes it like adds a whole other layer of context um and so betty who recently did a podcast betty who apparently loves podcasts most of this stuff is just from podcasts um where she got on and um was the context was originally talking about jojo siwa and as we know jojo siwa is dating chris from chris and chem from love island uk and it is traumatizing for me personally as a jojo siwa fan as someone who enjoyed chris and chem like it is it is it is it is distressing that a fully grown adult man you know preyed on a young young young person on tv while they were getting bullied by literally mickey rourke like it's just it's just like a whole fucked up circumstance situation so um in doing that defending jojo siwa it's important to note

that betty who identifies as a lesbian who has been with a man for 14 years who has been married to her husband for like 14 years um and has like recently shifted the identity to be says that they're bisexual but then still will say that they are lesbian they will still use slurs that are used with towards lesbians but as a self-identifying term um and she said that uh told that she holds space she said like she saw a video vernee rap saying that like she would never date a man again vernee rap is a lesbian and uh betty who said that she holds space for in 10 years if you know if renee rap is like introduces like a man that she's married to and is like loves and it's wonderful and great and that is like quite literally like the same

thing like straight men say to lesbians that like you just haven't met the right guy yet or like you will eventually change your sexuality and like i like used to say like when people ask like oh are you straight I'd be like yeah I'm straight and I used to say like I am not and this was for me from a place of like recognizing that sexuality is fluid and being like who knows maybe I haven't met the right girl yet and I had some people who were like so kind to educate me being like hey I totally understand what you mean here but because sexuality is fluid the opposite is also true sexuality sometimes is not fluid some people know exactly what they are and where they're at and until that if that ever does happen to you for sure say that but i understand you're trying

to be like open to the idea of like sexuality being this like sliding spectrum but unless that is like how you currently feel about your life it the unfortunately the reverse can then also be true that like hey i'm a lesbian but i just haven't met the right man yet and i was like oh fully clicks thank you and i stopped saying that so her this whole conversation of her saying about like you know renee rap and renee it's specifically because renee said she hates when people talk about how she'll end up with a man or that she'll become bi again and she's no longer a lesbian and like renee has these like these videos that she's talked about where she like gets choked up about how she's like i'm so glad there are people who being bi for them was like that is who their

identity is and there are people who are lesbians who like that is who their identity was and they knew that from the very beginning and they didn't grow up in a very conservative christian southern place where like you had to you could not even fathom the fact that you were a lesbian at that point you had to hold on to some form of like heteronormativity because like you just you could there was no the consequences were dire like you couldn't do that and so she's like but now to to treat that that journey of mine of unpacking religious trauma and growing up in the south and all of these kinds of things as like a well you'll just get right back there it's like you're discounting all of the work that she has done on herself like all the acceptance she's had with

herself to like she gets to define who she is she gets to find what she's attracted to who she's into and she identifies as a lesbian so stop saying that one day she could suddenly not become a lesbian um and then we get into more wild shit that turns out betty who has said um she went on the lost culture recess podcast and defended army hammer and matt and bowen like are trying like immediately trying to like reign reign her in because she's like well you know i really don't know anything about it and then as saying that doesn't really know anything about it but it's like but it just feels like kink shaming i mean if it wasn't consensual and so quickly matt's like it was not consensual like that like hopping and say well it's all fantasies and it was like okay

so no there were actual like physical things that are happening as well like these are accurate and literally they're trying to get her to stop to like think about it and talk about it. And it's like, okay, sure. In these hypotheticals, if what you're saying is true, which you're claiming you do not know any of this, you're still deciding that like,

let's continue this conversation about why we need to defend Armie Hammer. What the fuck? Like Armie Hammer and his violence against women. She also talks about how gay her straight cis husband is and how she's, again, going into this whole thing of perpetuating the tropes of a lesbian who finds the right guy can then become straight or be with a man and that you can make straight men gay um and she also says

her straight husband is going to fire island to take pictures of in her words gays in their natural habitat because he's drawn to the primal nature of gay men what what she then continues to talk about how all of his friends are straight and that like his type prior to her he always liked lesbian it's just like it's so so deeply odd and she issued an apology today that like you know not my apology to accept but the consensus the whole thing is like you can talk about your journey but to like loop in other people and then to also like subject other people to your husband and his straight friends in a way that you you need to bring them into these places and have them do these things that you're like oh yeah sick oh my god love that this is how gay my straight

husband is he's taking he's going to go take pictures of gay men at fire island like that's like so deeply in a inappropriate and then you have this like protection of being uh like a a white person in a heterosexual relationship to like be able to say those things and feel still protected. She also uses the term alphabet mafia, which I at this point tend to think of as a dog whistle for more conservative when it's used in a negative light. And then she has a quote saying it shouldn't be illegal to fall in love. And we're talking about when a man falls in love with a woman. That's what she's saying. It shouldn't be illegal to fall in love. Now we've come so far in our community is so strong that it's a crime to be straight. We're punishing people for being

heterosexual. And then she goes, ha JK. And specifically saying that as an Australian, like, but seemingly with an American accent, thinking it's America, like at this time and place to say that people are being punished for being straight is not fucking happening in our government, in our society. That's just, it's just not happening. And this place of being able to like say that is feels incredibly detached from it feels the security of having a australian passport it feels like if even if you live here like that feels like that that is not the consensus amongst americans specifically like visibly not straight visibly not cis americans like that's just okay and then she also says she when she became she became obsessed with a boy and

that's the best thing that ever happened to me uh someone made a really great comment that i want to read in full because i think it's great um this is someone else saying that someone else made a comment but it was on the foam wash subreddit someone made a good point in saying that some people that preach sexuality is fluid is onto lesbians in particular which just to just mean that it's fluid as in it has to involve men because no one's really ever saying that thing to gay men yeah it's the it has to involve men thing that really hit i think it's incomprehensible to some people that relationships could simply not involve a man at all ever full stop and they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to make sure that that door is left open so i think that like

that's so real in this that's just the centering of men and this is still so deeply there and i just think yeah i think this is i think it's like just it's deeply cruel to so many people but i find this to be like this is like these statements all the while she's using the slur against lesbians while identifying as a lesbian while being with a man and then centering men in all of this like i just can't imagine how hurtful this is uh to i don't know how large her lesbian fan base is but like just this rhetoric as a whole and a lot of people have said this feels like she's good she's gonna pivot to the conservative pipeline um and yeah i wanted to make sure i talked about this because i know we have a lot i mean we have a lot of queer gay

lesbian listeners bi listeners everything um and we talk about biphobia we talk about lesbophobia and all that stuff we also have a lot of straight listeners and i just want to make sure if people didn't catch this on their for you page sometimes i think as like me as a white cis straight woman you hear someone else you hear someone a part of the lgbtq plus community talking about something and if your algorithm isn't designed in a certain way or your circle isn't designed in a certain way or like you are in a very sheltered area you might be like oh okay this this is this makes sense this is this this is person's lived experience and it's just there's a lot of people talking about this who aren't getting as much traction as like her viewpoints um and yeah it's like this i just find

this atrocious and just like so awful and i hope renee rap is like feeling good about because like that's just like it she's such like a quick-witted smart like all that kind of stuff but like it's insidious that betty who knew enough about renee rap to be able to like to to think that she could like speak on this because like those videos when bernie's talking about this like she's like emotion like it's just really fucked up to me like just like super fucked up so hope bernie rap is doing well and i hope anybody who like felt any type of way about this let yeah doing your best to like let it roll off because like it's just fuck yeah yeah i saw it and i immediately watched it and said this broad is stupid and then yeah that was pretty much the

extent of my thoughts when it came to that woman the army hammer stuff like i guess yeah like people are uncovering like old podcast clips of like other stuff that she like it's like she just like stays saying like really weird like men obsessed things that like to the point where you're defending army hammer okay and why do people keep letting them her own podcast well that's what i think she's like not that famous so i think like it's these like these videos and there's like clips and stuff like weren't really taking as much traction prior and i wonder if that's yeah gonna change now how long has she been married to her husband like 14 years 11 years 15 years she's only 33

oh or maybe she's been with him okay they got married in 2017 but yeah the whole time Betty who's been famous all right well yeah

she's wrong all right so my wrong of the week is Yelena Ostapenko so there's a moment in every sport where the contest on the field or court ends and a different kind of interaction begins and tennis that moment is the post-match handshake at the net it's meant to be a simple polite exchange a moment of respect

and sportsmanship but recently at the u.s open that simple act became a tense heated confrontation and it left many of us fans wondering what exactly happened the conflict involved american taylor townsend and latvia's yelena austin pinko taylor won the match in straight sets dominating the second set six to one the score was clean decisive victory but when the two players came to the net instead of a quick handshake and a polite nod they exchanged well yelena exchanged sharp words she accused townsend of having no class and no education and in response townsend fired back with, you can learn to take a loss better. So why did a decisive win lead to such a public crash out? The answer isn't in the official rules of tennis, but in its unwritten

code of conduct. This clash was all about the net court. For those who don't play, a net court is when a shot hits the top of the net and barely trickles over to the opponent's side, often winning a point for the player who hit it. It's a lucky break and in tennis there's a long-standing tradition, a piece of etiquette that you raise your hand in a symbol of polite apology. You're not truly saying you're sorry, you're just acknowledging your good fortune. And this isn't a new phenomenon. In 2020, two-time Grand Slam champion Shletvana Kuznetsova compared it to the polite american greeting how are you she said do you care how you are but you're still polite and you answer this is the same thing you're polite and you put your hand up it's an act of

respect for the game itself we've seen it throughout the sports history with rafael nautil criticizing robin soldierling for for fist pumping instead of apologizing to aranina Sabalenka admitting that she was pissed off when an opponent chose to celebrate a net court shot instead of apologizing. But for Austin Pinko, this was not a minor issue. She said it was the first time ever this has happened to her on tour, and she saw Townsend's lack of apology as a profound act of disrespect. Her comments like, if she plays in her homeland, it doesn't mean that she can behave and do whatever she wants. Revealed for her that this is a matter of principle and culture expectations, but in the end, it was just racist. On the other side of the net,

Taylor Townsend saw things very differently. She didn't feel the need to apologize for a lucky break that's part of the game. Her perspective was rooted in the outcome. She let her racket do the talking and she won. When asked about it, she said, it's competition. People get upset when they lose. Her focus was on the result of the match, not the perceived slight. The essence of this entire situation isn't just about racism. It's about a fundamental difference in philosophy, but you don't come for someone and say that it's a game of class and education and adherence to shared unspoken traditions because as taylor townsend it's simply about winning you can play the point you can take the win and you can move on especially when you are shut out six to one

so like don't come from somebody and say that you didn't apologize to me and you have no class and no education and taylor has also beat her other times too so stop just embarrassing yourself so deeply you look dumb and you're a sore loser just move on like you don't try you don't have a complete crash out yelling at the opponent you don't like the term um you give me like a sore winner sore loser or whatever she wasn't being like a a sore way this wasn't like hey like so like literally yeah exactly it wasn't like the whole like when you like take a like like rock stars like breaking your um when they break their guitars over their head and they like do all of that stuff they rip their shirt like it wasn't that it wasn't that she just kept playing she

literally just kept playing and so then i'm like okay so you want to draw even more attention to like by the way you beat me so badly that I knew I had absolutely no chance so the entire thing I'm hung up on is this one little incidence of like you doing a thing that like truly is so inconsequential I'm like that's how little you think of your own playing like that's what's been in your mind this whole fucking time that's what you want to talk about oh my god maybe just say by the way I don't want to play her anymore she's really good and it's making me look really bad you lost so deeply embarrassing i have to say maybe i'm wrong but i would love if anyone who's like more acknowledging of the sport i like loki kind of feel like tennis has the sorest losers

like no they do professional like it's they're such babies why would you like lose like why would you lose and then like throw a like a public temper tantrum and then like do interviews about that and like get so like you've made this so you've made this like more deeply embarrassing and it just feels like it always it always it just keeps happening yeah but there's also it's usually happening a lot when a white tennis player is playing against a black tennis player and because it's such like an international sport a lot of times these people are coming from places that don't have black people and they just feel like they should be the best even though a lot of americans have that same thought process but it's just so much more outwardly it's deeply

unchecked racism yes it's deeply unchecked but it they're very much more outwardly saying what they actually feel which some of these tennis players are like my age and i have never lived in a time period when black women were not the best at tennis and i'm just like so you thinking that why in the hell would these black women be better at tennis than you girl your entire life black women have been the best my entire life yep huh what it's it they look so fucking they look so fucking stupid yep and it's just like their fit and as a white person i can say this their faces get so red they get so blotchy the eyes start but like everything turns pink and like it looks like a like the fucking anger cartoon from inside out i'm like

so it's just it's and then doubling down in the fucking press interviews i'm like okay baby do you do you need a pacifier and then one of the other women i'm sorry i just i don't write her name down because i couldn't pronounce it a lot of these names i can't pronounce i couldn't pronounce her name at all but she like was defending her and was saying well she has a lot of things going on off the court that are making her angry what does that have to do with taylor okay if you're gonna say that just so sorry her um husband is cheating on her with the pool like what do you mean she has things going on in her life we all have things going on did she break both of her legs and both of her arms then maybe she shouldn't be playing like what has happened

here that is so gravely affecting her tennis game that none of us can can see and i'm so confused at how that led her to to throwing a temper tantrum yeah maybe she could just play badly and then go home get a pint of ice cream eat her feelings like a normal person when we lose yeah also these headlines talking about that they clashed at the US Open there's so much drama

they're saying Taylor snaps back when she didn't snap back all she said was like also if you want to get technical she smiled the whole time she smiled but she also said thank you and I'm sorry that you feel that way like something or you should something like you should learn how to lose better

something like that so all these headlines try to make it seem like it was like two people arguing when it was one person arguing another person just saying thank you and walking off okay for sure yeah have a good one and then she went and cheered with the rest of the team and i love that you have to walk off a loser and then hear the whole stadium cheering against you it and then like those videos of like they follow them back to the um to the to the like prep rooms or whatever and they like break their yeah i'm fine with that like like adrenaline running like i'm fine with that after but like on the court i'm saying for people when you after you've already had a public temper tantrum

on the court you've had one off the court you've had one impressed and then you go to this here and i'm like you know we can see all of it that i'm like is are you like is this like a humiliation thing that you have to like that you feel that you must do like it's just it's well and then the other part that i think is this is like it's such a random tangent but that like the culture of tennis and like um like the specifically like british people and people under like the monarchy of like loving like loving tennis and this being like such a people view it as like very like oh very posh aristocrat in the stiff upper lip of like the don't show your emotion like british people and i was like and you love these you love these tennis players like losing their absolute

like emotional minds like what what what huh and you hate american reality tv this is okay i also just want to put a few photos out there too of her getting red i can't see what don't tell me that's what i think it is it's blurry it's is it what i think it is she has braids yeah of course she does i can tell by the lack of density in that little bun cornrows oh that's not even her hair nope okay and i can't help but laugh at these photos of her like i'm watching the traction alopecia like her hairline is it's remarkable how far that this has has pushed back it's causing like her skin to tighten like on her the veins popping out so as she's getting angry she's getting more and more

flat breakage her hair is breaking off and like she just looks you know what maybe this is what they talked about like the tea kettle getting violent like this looks like the personification of a cartoon tea kettle but like and she's all like carrying like so much it's it's just such a It's so deeply embarrassing. All right. Well, that's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for listening.

Join us tomorrow for See You Next Tuesday, Thursday for Don't Blame Me, Friday, Fisting Friday, and we'll be back on Monday for another episode of But Am I Wrong? Hope you're enjoying your holiday weekend. I wonder if anyone's having late, is it, is it labor? Let us know if you're in labor. Let us know after.

It lasts for a long time. Yeah, if you've got the capacity. Yeah. All right. We will circle back. Circle back. Goodbye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks.

And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.