Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: My Friend Has Bad Breath

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

But Am I Wrong: Melisa - Don't Bring Babies on a Plane Unless It's an Emergency Meghan - Men Shouldn't Be Doctors But Are You Wrong: Telling a friend about their breath Moving out of a terrible situation But Are They Wrong Judge Robert Adrian Kellogg's CEO Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome to another episode of but am i wrong starring two people who have not once ever been wrong but those two people are exhausted today my little punch drunk a little loopy doopy why are you tired did you not sleep well I told you my I had to send files and then I got very cold oh yes well I forgot because then you did your fake day and so then they started merging together yesterday I worked from like 8 a.m to like 12 a.m so it was a very long day I'm catching up from when I was gone and then we have a new podcast launching soon so it's just like prepping for that. There's also something about like, when you get back to LA and you haven't been here in a while, like, there's something in the air here that you're like, I now actually being forced

to rise and grind. Like, there's not a chill atmosphere here. I mean, I guess some people do think it's chiller. I think New York's way more chill. You think New York is more chill? I think there's a hustle and a bustle. But it's like, people in New York are going to a restaurant for lunch like la and dinner yeah that's not la is like you go to the gym you go to work you drive home you eat dinner you sleep you work you do all that kind of thing yeah that's true i agree but yeah i'm very tired my electricity went off at about two o'clock in the morning then i had to alert the people that it had gone off after i had did my inspection because it wasn't showing up on the app on the um ladwp app yet there was no outages and so i was like i'm the person you

know what would be a great venture for you and i say this selfishly because it would really benefit me so we've got apps like next door and um citizen i find that when we give apps names of women i trust them and i think you need like a melissa app and it will it will just figure everything out that is happening where you are right now you're there's a lot of traffic where you are and you're like why is there so much traffic it'll tell you oh Coldplay is at the Hollywood Bowl and you're like great thank you because it would take me 25 minutes before I could see it Melissa says exactly is that them yeah I like that and it's kind of like an ask Jeeves sort of thing or whatever so like it's like you can just type it in and you could phrase it however

you phrase it and like what is going on here and then it will just pop up and there's a little like bitmoji version of you and it's like melissa says that this this this and this and it'd be so helpful because there are times where there's nothing that pisses me off more when we do this like i'm not a police girly i don't love the police whatsoever you don't no no not once ever have been a fan but specifically that's why i was getting mad when people were saying lawfully for anything i'm like no i know because what do you mean american law you mean law and who enforces the law not here there's nothing about us but in la and it happens in any fucking major city this whole thing of like please keep us safe they're keeping us safe and then i will see you know

they're keeping us safe by shutting down an entire like entire street an entire intersection and it's all roped off with cars and uh and tape and all of that and then you get closer and you suddenly see every officer is kneeling and having their doors open and they're just pointing guns and i go this is how you're keeping you didn't send out a memo of saying hey avoid this intersection there's an active shooter that we're trying to take down like and we were and we were going to like a a nursery like a plant store and monster's like let's just park here there's a lot of parking i go bitch there's a lot of parking because that street right in front of us is shut down we're not i don't know where they are i don't know where they're coming from i don't know who they are what

they're doing but we're not going to be shopping here right now when when you see a street that's deserted and empty you have to ask that question i'm not just so innocent sometimes when i tell you we walking through san francisco with that boy i go tell me about the denver you grew up in because you are moving slow you are looking around you are making eye contact with people and you're not smiling when you're making eye contact you're keeping your same straight face and you're looking around and you're wondering why i'm walking fast and you're wondering why my purse is across my body you wonder what i'm i'm moving with intention and he's meandering and he's going what is this place and i go the tenderloin walk faster little bitch i mean you know i grew up in in an area where

everybody's looking in each other's faces and smiling and saying how do you do and things like that but i turn it off when i'm here and if i'm going to san francisco that's double but like now i'm at the point where i forget that i gotta turn it back on when i go back and i'm like why are these bitches looking at me in the eyes you want you want some of this fucking heat and they're like no honey i was your elementary school teacher and you're like oh sorry my bad i'm friends with your mom and you're like oh so sorry my bad i think there's something about like there's something innate in women that like that we we are we have that like being very vigilant kind of a thing and i think like there's a an unawareness from men but then there's also a

false sense of security when like because you're a guy and if you didn't i don't know like if you didn't grow up in or or even just have to like walk through that with just one other person like i always think i'm like you know went to school in atlanta but like walking with big groups of friends like it's just and you're college you're not as like you're not paying attention i was I was going to say college at Lena is different than adult out of college at Lena. Like you're with a ton of friends and like you've got all of that kind of stuff handled in there. And but also Denver is a lot smaller than San Francisco, which I always remember because I'm like, oh, you could just walk home. So like me, I would get on the ferry from Marin, take it to the city with like one or two friends.

And then we would have to make then make it back to BART or to then back to the ferry and then get all the way back home and then have to get picked up from there. so like you have to figure that out and you're not close by your house you can't just be like I'm gonna just call up a parent and they'll just

pop on by to pick us up he does that we were in downtown LA like late at night and he I was like he parked somewhere else

they go you it was like still light out and he was like oh you like go get our seats and then I'll get the car or I'll park the car

and so then we were leaving I was like bitch where did you park we were walking down a dark alleyway with no street lights and there's no car why would you park

where there's no cars absolutely not did you have a ticket no but he was walking so slow and i was like i need you to speed be fuck up this is not you're not even taking in the sights you can't see anything around here and all this is not to say that like la is dangerous and like oh there are all of these things here but like when you are walking around oblivious when i tell you the same way that the woman from the cut has a face of someone who wants to get scammed when you walk around oblivious you have the face of somebody who doesn't want their wallet you have a face of somebody who's like

i won't feel it if you grab something out of my pocket like it's just he's like i've had my car stolen multiple times i'm fine he's like i don't need any of these earthly possessions i'm untethered to these material items all right well welcome to but am i wrong a show where people write in and ask about their predicaments in life if they're right or wrong and then we also share our own life situations and talk about people in the public eye. As it was once described, this is ethical gossip. Wonderfully said.

And if you would like to participate, we have a couple ways for you to do that. But really the most important thing is you can vote on every segment we have in the show. We have, are they wrong? Are they not wrong? And we do all of that voting over on our Instagram story. So we then will read the results on our Friday episode,

which is called Fisting Friday. But we have different segments on the show And we will explain each of them before we get into it. But just know, this is participation. You get to vote and you get to tell us your thoughts and your feelings. If you agree with us, you disagree, you have personal experience. So it's fun. It's not super one-sided like that.

The first segment is called, But Am I Wrong? And that's where we pick something from our lives that we could have been maybe wrong in or a rant or something that we've just want to talk about. I'm so sorry for everybody who heard that. And then now theirs is talking to them. it's a group conversation but i believe it is my turn to go first great that was my next question if you knew whose turn it was and i feel like this is going to be very controversial oh i love that i'm also i'm a little nervous to even say it but oh my god you wow you you've

been sitting on this we've been filming all fucking day and recording all day and you never once told me like i'm a little nervous like you know how i told you i forgot what it was but then i remember yeah no i know but now you've forgotten now you're nervous yeah so many emotions okay here we go unless it is an emergency i need everyone to also know we have a patreon where you can watch the video version because i am enjoying melissa's face right now she's gearing up to say it okay go here we go unless there is an emergency situation flying with babies is selfish and here's my reasoning why babies cannot communicate how they feel unless they're crying and i have no problem with crying babies on the plane i'm not going to be a person and be

like shut that baby up i understand that they are in pain and can't pop their ears they can't express their pain and they're also confined to this little baby spot and i just don't like seeing the babies in pain. And I think, you know, like if there's a death in your family, you have to fly to take the baby, then do it. Of course, like do it. You need to be there. But if you're just going on a little vacation across the USA and there's no real need to be there except for enjoying yourself, why are you putting the baby in pain? For the next two years, go on vacations where it's like just a drive away or like you can leave the baby like they can they can stay with somebody else and you can go on your vacation because you're not even fully having a vacation anyway

because you got a baby with you so like I feel so bad when I was flying back here there were two different baby two different families that had babies and those babies were screaming their heads off. And I, my heart was just breaking for them. Like I was like these, these poor little, and I know it was annoying other people and it wasn't annoying me. I just felt empathy for the babies because they can't pop, they can't put gum in their mouth. They can't pop their ears. They just know something weird's happening and I'm in pain. And I've had, I used to, I don't know why it changed, but I used to, when I fly, my ears would like be so painful that I would have tears down my eyes too it changed within like the last five years but like i know what that pain is for me as

an adult who can like yawn or chew gum or do things to stop my ears from popping but you got a little baby here that doesn't even understand what what's happening so there's my hot take come at me these are my thoughts that's a very hot take i don't necessarily disagree i also feel so bad for like the parents too and like i will always think back to james corden and his wife it was a dumont blind so no one knows who's actually like real or true but everyone was like this post was like he was on a plane and he like offered the woman who was like next to him to like put her bag up and the person who like had submitted this was like oh like james corden that's like you know it's kind of nice like that's that i'm glad he's being so respectful of that woman that's really

kind. Then as they were getting like they're on the flight or whatever, like just doing their thing, doing their thing. And then as they're getting ready to leave, they're all deplaning. And she looks over at him, the woman who's sitting next to the baby and was like, are you going to fucking help me at all? And the person was like, that's his wife and his kid. Like they just like were floored by it. Again, it's a Dumas blind. No one knows if it's true, but similar to the Drake condom. I don't need any facts or evidence. This sounds right to me. So I also feel so bad for the people who have to be with the baby, like the main caregiver of the baby on the plane. Like it's flying is not really fun for adults either. And so then having to take care of a kid if it's

not like evenly split duties. And then I also followed the nanny subreddit, the profession, not the show. And the amount of like nannies who have to fly with kids and the parents will be in first class and then they'll put the they'll put the parents and the kids in first class and the nanny and coach and they just let the kids run between like back and forth and i'm just like oh my god and like that is just it's just so much that i think i also worry and i don't want to like make anyone like worried who is parent i'm sure like pediatricians and doctors will tell you but like you're not supposed to fly if you have a sinus infection or like you're really congested and you can't like breathe through your like any of that and like you can kind of tell with babies

but like not always because like sometimes babies are like spitty and slobbery and like snotty and I always get worried about that aspect of it too where it's like how much of this is that they're in pain from that and then how much of is it how much of the pain that they're in is because like they're congested and this is posing like a higher risk or whatever but I'm a big proponent in finding uh we need fast bullet trains that don't make you car sick yeah a big believer in that one yeah take a train even i know it'll take longer but baby's not gonna have pressure in their ear yeah it's like your heart just thinking about it when was your first flight do you know i would have been like three three i came here that was your first to here how full

circle la or just california la la we went to la then went to santa barbara and then went because danny and his immediate family used to live there and then my uncle melvin and cousin tasha lived here and then we went to disneyland so fun yeah i was one of those babies in a flight as a baby i was six months old i might have even been younger i might have been three but because my grandpa had a stroke and then they're like okay bring the baby totally but yeah i traveling with kids as someone who's traveled in a caravan with kids like driving to colorado and back when I tell you that like that shit is something that I'm like before months I decide if we're gonna have kids I'm like we really got to think that through because when we drive to Colorado and

we get a text from your brother and we he's like we have to pull over our son has barfed on himself and then we say okay we get a total full change of clothes don't even get to the next rest stop or threw up on himself again it's just a little car sick and it was like yeah nine times yeah and it was just like one of the things that you're like okay so glad that we're in a car and there are rest stops for this we flew but we also like i think i've told you before we have this big van that the back seat would lay fully out like a bed and then it had a tv like before cars really had tvs in them it had a tv and like we were with the vcr we were living our best lives like sometimes in the summer i would just go and sit in the van and have the doors open and be like a

drive-in like it was a good time that was like my dream like i was obsessed with families that had like multiple kids and they had one of those big ass family cars and they're all like hop on in kids and they're why and i was like this is the life yeah wasn't my life but i was like this is the life that i it was uh i love that yeah i i just think that you know i'm not shocked that um things that are difficult specifically for uh people who've given birth and their babies and the people who are caring for the babies we haven't found a better way not shocked but we should advance that if not for the environment for the for the for the ears of babies everywhere right poor babies well i don't necessarily think you're wrong at all thank you

i wonder what i'm gonna talk about done done done um mine is a rant i'm not welcoming any um oh you're wrong this this and this because i'll get into like there's like an aspect of this where i'm like i'm still in the stages of being like did i mess up like did i'm blaming myself and also logically though the things that i'm upset at myself for doing are not logical like it's like i shouldn't have to do x y and z but i'm like a mad at myself for like not scamming the system not anticipating and then scamming the system to get it to be what not scamming but like using the system at how I know it's built to make it work better. So my hot take is similar to yours, incredibly hot. I don't think men should be doctors. Fuck off, men. The field of being a

practicing physician is not for you. You can be in a lab by yourself. You can be in a library by yourself. You can be writing down notes by yourself. But I need you to stay so fucking far away from patients, specifically female patients. And I, thinking back on it, I'm wondering if the person who was scheduling me for this appointment knew what was coming when she asked me, do you want a female doctor? Or would you like, do you want a woman doctor? Or are you okay seeing a man? And I was like, um, I prefer a woman, but you know, it's okay if it's a man. And she's like, yeah, so I don't have a woman for a while, but I've got a man. And you know, I don't know what it was like a month and a half or something when I had it and I was like okay

she's like you sure and now I'm going damn I shouldn't have been sure I guess I wasn't sure and I did feel like she was trying to look out for me and I didn't really put two and two together there but yeah so basically yesterday as we're recording this I had a rheumatologist appointment that I went to that went horribly and to give some context to this I didn't even want to go to the rheumatologist i had no desire to go like i had been i was given a referral to the room this rheumatologist two years ago or something and it was like in my comprehensive workup when i had my just like i hadn't had gone to the doctor in a long time and i was dealing with like long covid and one of the things that he had said was that i don't like my pcp i have very flexible very loose

joints and more specifically i have really poor wound healing so like on my legs and i have bad circulation so rain outs in itself can be something tied to um having eds like it's there's a lot of crossover and so in discussing all the you know joint pain and these things that i was having he had suggested that i go to a rheumatologist and get tested for eds and even in the moment i was like i mean there's nothing they can like do to really treat that and like honestly like it's not very it's not high up on my list like for a lot of people diagnosis can be super validating but i've got other things going on with my body that like have actual actual things that i can really work on that are bothering me day to day so this isn't high up on my list so i never called to

schedule that appointment and so that referral had lapsed and then when i got my reinfection of covid when i know when i got covid the second time around and i got the reinfection of it i went to another doctor same hospital same network all of that and she immediately the first thing she said to me was do you have eds and i was like no um but my primary care has suspected that she's like i'm looking at her chart and she's like and i would be i would be shocked if you don't and she was like and she didn't even ask me how hypermobile my joints were she was just like i'm seeing everything here and this makes a lot of sense and she was like i am gonna get you a referral to a rheumatologist i really want you to go and i was like i just don't see the point

She was like, I understand. But I think if you have a diagnosis for EDS, A, they will hopefully be able to help treat you for long COVID through that. Because I think what you're having is an autoimmune response to this. And then she also said, and I think even if that's not the case, having a diagnosis there, I think there's probably more I could have done. To me, that implication was that I could have gotten Paxlovid prescribed a second time, which is like the thing I'm the most upset about because I felt so fucking good after I took that. and then the rebound i'm like back to square zero feel even worse than i did a couple months like before getting covered the second time so she's like once you if you have something there like you have more markers i i think i could be able to do more or there are other things that you might qualify for things before other like because it's you could be exempt from being like oh we're not recommending this right now or cost risk reward whatever and so i was like oh okay and she was like i just really think that that could be your point person for long COVID stuff. They can be really helpful. So then I got excited. Then I started getting

my hopes up. And then I was not wanting to go. But then a lot of other people I was talking to, which maybe it was a confirmation bias because after I talked about it afterwards, people were like, rheumatologists suck. And I was like, prior to this, everyone's like, my rheumatologist is amazing. They're so helpful. And so I was pretty excited about it. And I filled everything out. And to be so clear, I know that EDS is not an autoimmune issue at this point. It is not that. It's a connective tissue disorder. But both of these doctors, specifically for EDS, have been like, you have to go see a rheumatologist. So who am I as a patient to be like, no, you're sending me to the wrong doctor or that's not right or whatever. And then I'm looking up online and the

two most common doctors who diagnose it are rheumatologists and geneticists. But geneticists most of the time are diagnosing the ones that are genetic, like things that are testable through your bloodstream, not just like a mobility kind of test or a scale test. So I'm like, I'm sure this has to be right. And they're both very adamant on me going specifically for what this would mean for long COVID care, which is what I care about ultimately. And I don't want to minimize again, people who find this diagnosis very helpful. I think if I was at a different place in my life, that might be it for me. But like I have limited time and resources to address like the health stuff in my life. And as of now, this it was because of the long COVID tie to it

that this was supposed to help with that. And so I check in, I get there and I literally I'm like talking to the nurse there and I'm like being I'm like, oh, they're like, how are you doing? I'm like, I'm good. I'm so excited to have it. Like I've heard such great things about like my other doctors are really excited for me to go to like to go to a rheumatologist. And I've heard and She's like, oh, my God, I can't wait for us to take care of you. And all the women were so nice. And they had those long nails that, you know, I trust. And I was like, God fucking damn it.

So this guy comes in and I already didn't really love his tone when I was overhearing him talk to another patient. And it wasn't anything medical related. He was talking about where she was traveling to next and like her family. And it just felt like some of the phrasing, like he was asking, like, what's the capital of that like that city like or that country and asking her about all this and she was english second language and it felt like he was kind of testing her like it felt like he knew the answers and he wasn't trying to like ask her about i don't like ask her about like her own personal

experience it was just kind of like it felt kind of like a history quiz and it was just a little it was just a little odd but i was like maybe i don't understand the relationship like i'm reading too much into this whatever and he comes in and i filled everything out i had brought the paper with me that I'm like writing all of like the what symptoms you have and all that because I was like this it was just taking me too long before they called me back in and so I had finished it by the time he came in and I was like I just like this is my papers and stuff I was like I can't spell so like I'm really sorry if any of them are spelled wrong I can try and pronounce if like you can't see understand what they're saying I can try and pronounce some of them I'm also like not

great at that and for like the family history stuff I was like I'm not entirely sure I know there is someone who is like not a parent but like I have an aunt or an uncle or whatever who has an autoimmune condition. I was like, I'm not sure which one. I was looking it up, wasn't jogging my memory. But I was like, I'm not entirely sure about all the family history. I know one side a little bit,

but my dad is a lot older. So I don't know a lot of that stuff. And I don't have a relationship with my mom. Biggest mistake I could have said. Because then this man was like, this just has to be therapy. This is what's going on with her. She has trauma.

and i'm like so he's like goes over my symptoms with me like he like is asking me all of like these he's like going through the list and being like so when were you diagnosed with adhd and i was like like seventh grade but i didn't start getting treated until i was like 21 and like not regularly until i was probably like no i didn't know i didn't even start getting treated until i was like 22 maybe regularly 23 or something and he's like can you take your medication every day and i was like the days that i remember like i will go like i've gone weeks that i've gone a rarely remember to take it twice a day for an entire five days in a row like that's just never happened for me i can't remember that often hence we're going through the other things that i take

in like the beta blockers and i've written like very little things that are like you know do you deal with anxiety and depression it's like yeah i've dealt with that but then there are parts of being like what like what are your joint symptoms like and it's an entire paragraph explaining all of it. And so this man just like latches on to like certain things that he's decided are the most important. And then he asked me if I had had any surgeries or anything. And I told him I had a rhinoplasty. And I said that I don't do great with blood and like anticipation of pain or whatever. And I was like, because I don't know how to write down the fact that I had like a vasovagal, I said, sinoscope. And I said, is that right? And he goes, no, syncope. And I was like,

okay, why are we laughing at how I pronounce that? Like, that's a little weird. And I was like, I don't know where to put that down because I'm not sure what that is. So I just explained it to him. And so then this man does not even take any blood, does not do a blood test, says, I'm very lucky that I don't have any autoimmune conditions in my family, to which I said, oh, I'm sorry. I thought Hashimoto's and Graves' disease, hypo and hyperthyroidism were autoimmune diseases. And he was like, technically, but like, not really. I was like, so what's your hierarchy of what you prefer to treat? And again, I don't have any of those things. And I told him, he's like, so do you think you have that? And I go, no, because I know

my, my gynecologist said based on timelines, whatever, she would assume my mom got it when she was pregnant with me. So if I was going to get it, I probably would have got, got, get it. If I get pregnant, it's a very common thing for women. So I'm like, I don't think I have this, but like my other doctor sent me here to you. So like, hi, let's figure this out. And so I'm like, just telling him everything. And Oh my God, wait, we have to go back to the first thing he says to because that was actually when I was thinking back on it now. I go, this is my mistake. I need to change what I wear to the doctor's office

because I was wearing my Super Bowl Abercrombie t-shirt. And he walks in and he goes, Niners, were you even alive that year? And I was like, no, it's... He's like, it's not from this year. And I was like, no, no, it's just like from Abercrombie. And he was like, oh, okay. And he's like, 1989.

He's like, oh yeah, it's Taylor Swift doll. And he goes, what? And I was like, no, it's the year Taylor Swift was born. It's her fake name. And after that, I was like, sorry. And so immediately he's clocking woman. doesn't understand sports taylor swift must be an idiot and i was like okay that was all a mistake but again i didn't think anything of that in the moment and then he does the most basic like turn

side to side basically looking at like my glands my thyroid all of that and i'm like fine makes sense doing the joint thing asking me he asks me there's a thing called the bait and scale betton scale i don't know how to pronounce it but it's what they'll do for eds testing you meet x kind of criteria man asked me one question that's on it and had me do one hypermobility thing and that was it that was like didn't even run through the rest of it and then it's just like so you know eds yeah uh you probably have it but there's no point to diagnose it because you can't treat it so we're not going to do that but oh he asked if i was planning on if we were planning on having kids soon prior to that and i was like no not not at the current time he's like but when you have

kids, you have to tell your OBGYN you have it because it can have complications with birth because your skin can. And I was like, oh, like, you know, your skin stretching and that could be an issue. And he's like, no, like your uterus could stretch and it could be really bad. And I was like, diagnose me. So then that's an information that's in my chart. So then they have that going in. Also, this is a hospital that is huge. It's one of the biggest hospitals in Los Angeles. If I'm having a child, I will be here. So what do you you can't tell you can't right there for your little colleague you don't have to fax it anywhere like it's in the fucking chart with everyone and everything like what and it was just so i was just kind of like okay and

then he was just kind of like looking at me like i was stupid he's like well like yeah i don't think you have any autoimmune things and uh eds isn't even like auto immune so and then but like moves on from all that so quickly and he goes well really what the what your issue is is your fight flight. And I was like, you're just bringing up what I had said that my plastic surgeon had said because he's observed me passing out lots of times in anticipation of a needle. That's what you're diagnosing me with. So I have what he wrote down. Diagnosis, too much flight, too much flight, neuropathy, restlessness, burnout. Sir, burnout from what? What are we talking? Like, none of this was what we had talked about and it was to the point where i thought that he had just like had

a pre-written template that he was printing out like a flyer on this and then i like realized that he's actually typing and has been typing this is when i've been telling you about my health history that you've been asking questions when did you get diagnosed with anxiety when did you get diagnosed with adhd like when did you get your rhinoplasty this is what you've been writing down these are the fucking notes you've been taking so then he says you might be overstimulated and i almost said to him do you know what adhd is like i was like so then he says my my instructions are aerobic exercise start slow go slow don't overdo endorphins are nature's best medication to which i said i'm a very active person like i'm i don't sit still like i am not bedridden whatsoever i am not

sedentary like i again i have adhd like i can't really sit still i walk around a lot i do a lot of things i'm like i even like you know doing yard work breaking a sweat but like there's not a single day that goes by that i'm not breaking a sweat or cleaning up like i'm i clock in fucking steps even if i'm like not exercising and i was like and we usually take a walk every day and he was like yeah but i just need like 45 like minutes and i was like so i deal with like pm post-exertional malaise where 12 to 24 hours later even after like showering or things that don't seemingly take a lot of energy, like it really wipes me out.

And it doesn't get better. And he brings it up again. And he's like, no, it's just the exercise. And I was like, I know, but what do you say for that with PEM? And he was like, I don't know what that is. And I was like, post-exertional malaise. And he was like, yeah, I don't know what that is.

And I was like, how old is he? I would say he's probably in his, he's too young for this. He's probably in his late thirties. I would say like late thirties to like early mid forties. So he's far too young. He doesn't even know what that is. And I was like, okay, well the recommendation for that is actually like the exact opposite. Like that makes it worse short-term and long-term it's not deconditioning. And I was like, and I just like cancer. Like I'm

not sedentary. Like if the concern is like blood clots or anything, like I wear compression socks all the time and like ask anyone, like I can't even sit still through a whole movie. Like I'm walking around and he looks me up and down and he goes, well, I mean, obviously look at you. Of course i know you're not sedentary and i was like oh my god this is supposed to be the the better version of if i was a fat person you saying no obviously clearly you're sedentary like i'm supposed to take this version as like a compliment and i was like god i cannot imagine what it's like to be a bigger person who is your patient like it was just like awful and then his next one was have you been to therapy and i was like yeah and he's like do you go to therapy and i was like

yeah we haven't been talking about mental health whatsoever he's not asking like how are you super he just a question do you deal have you had a history of anxiety and or depression have you dealt with that and i was like yeah so then he said suggests i should do talk therapy cognitive behavioral behavioral therapy and i was like sorry do therapy he then includes a screenshot of a cover of a book which i know that this is part what he was googling self-parenting the complete guide to your inner conversation learn how to love support and nurture your inner child and i was What does any of this have to do with why you're there? What it has to do with is the fact that

I said I wasn't entirely sure about all of the spelling and all of the clear indicators of the medical history on my mother's side. And therefore he saw woman, doesn't understand sports, doesn't have a relationship with her mother. It must be this. And again, like there's nothing psychological or really I'm taught.

I'm like, I'm literally here for a referral because I've dealt with these things. They're like, you know, I'm dealing with them. most of them are seemingly not connected, but I guess they can be connected. And truthfully, I'm here because I was told that this could help with long COVID. It might be a more comprehensive way to do that. So, and I'm like, I'm not here asking for medication. I'm not here like saying that I have anything. I'm here because I was told by two other doctors that this might be helpful for something else that I'm dealing with, which again, there are also indicators that people

think long COVID could be tied to an immune like an autoimmune response and when I tell you there is nothing about my demeanor that is giving like textbook like this girl is like anxious and I'm being me like I'm making jokes I'm having like I'm like I'm in a great mood like all of this and I'm like what are you what are you talking about like nothing has to do with what we were talking about so he's not even listening to me when he's asking me questions about my medical history. He's decided who I am. And then he goes to try to try to journal 30 minutes a day in the morning and then work on improving your sleep quality, which then he suggested, have you ever tried sleeping pills? And I was like, that's what you want me to, you want me to get hooked on

sleeping pills because I threw it the last, I was like, oh yeah. And I should probably get a sleep study of him because like, I don't get, I sleep, but I don't get, I don't feel super rested after sleep. Then he told me to work on mindfulness meditation. And he's like, have you ever done that. And I was like, no, it's not really conducive to my kind of ADHD whatsoever. She then says about the Calm app. And when I tell you on this paper, hand to me, it says calm.com, $10 a month, 7-day free trial. Headspace.com, $10 a month, 7-day free trial. There are other platforms out there as well. Then we get to number five, kindness towards yourself. When I tell you, I don't even know where this comes from. We didn't even talk about this.

what is he talking about i don't understand why you're why you're there for if you're there for a fizzle hole problem and he is not a doctor that treats anything mental and he's prescribing mental things to you and i'm like my god did you report him so i wasn't even going to because i was like i'll get into like what the stuff that made me be like maybe this was my mistake because i was like i wasn't necessarily standing up to like once we got to the point when he said there's no real point to diagnose it, but tell your OBGYN you have it when you get pregnant. At that point, I just kind of like shut down. And I was like, I'm not going to cry because I'm not going to give this man a satisfaction because he keeps looking at me like lingering looks waiting to

see if I'm going to cry. Like I could tell he was waiting for me to cry. And I was like, I'm not fucking giving you the satisfaction. And so I just kind of shut down and I was like, yeah, uh-huh. Cool. Okay. Okay. And then he's like, okay, so, and I was just so fucking annoying. Then we go to number six when I tell you I saw this in the car and if I had seen this when he had written this down and printed like I was not I didn't read go through all of these this is on the last page what I would have said to him to be like what the fuck does this mean number six perfectionist tendencies question mark dot dot dot nobody is perfect only human that's not you at all and also we have even had any like there's nothing I'm saying like oh I'm really overwhelmed

overwhelmed with work i have like really high standard i'm like my god what the fuck are you talking about you're asked like what you're what the fuck and then he says less multitasking to which i say do you know anybody with adhd like you want just work totally anti it then finally number eight consistency consistency consistency and then number nine was when he asked me how do you think what would you think about just like not medicating your adderall i mean not medicating for your adhd i feel like that would be a lot better and i was like what does that have to do with anything for why you're there but also like it's not that he took my heart rate and my heart rate is spiked or it's not that i have bad high blood pressure or whatever that is he's like well you

know some people have to get off at adderall and like wouldn't it be better just to not be on it at all and he goes you probably don't even know what it's like to not be on it and i went i told you i didn't start taking until i was 22 like i i know what i'm like when i haven't taken it and i don't take it every day i take it when i remember but no it it's it is i need to take it at this point in my life he's like well we just don't know any of like the long-term effects i just i personally i just really i just don't like it and i was like okay that's cool i i don't need you to like like that's totally fine don't need you to like it but the crazy part to me and that is that like pots eds and adhd very common to have all so it's like it's like you don't want

me to have this and i i truth i don't know if he's ever spoken to anyone with adhd before like i just don't know that he like knows anyone with like so his mind the concept of it is like this is my issue like sometimes I think young doctors who are so in their own world and specifically in like a really fast track of life view Adderall as like no that's what the kids at my school took to cheat and I go look at me and look at you sir who is in the fucking white lab coat and who is the girl here who is just talking about what am I getting ahead in your med school life like it felt like a personal vendetta against girl who does not have a relationship with her mother and girl who has ADHD

and is medicated for that. And he's like, well, you know, it's like autism. Like there's a spectrum. Like not everybody, not everybody needs it. Like I'm sure it would,

like your life would be really good without it. And I was like, my life is fine right now, but I, I like didn't graduate college. Like I couldn't do like, and he was like,

well, you know, your anxiety. And I was like, you know, I actually have my anxiety. Most of my, a huge, besides my,

I mean, socially, a huge part of my anxiety is also tied to my ADHD. Like there's a lot of, a lot of it is that. And 90%, of my social anxiety is tied to my ADHD.

So when I started getting medicated for that, that got a lot better. Like it's actually a lot worse because I'm neurodivergent and that's the, there's a miscommunication between like my brain and my mouth and that makes me anxious. And I'm just like, he's so fucking clueless. I was just shocked because the whole like,

oh, fight or flight thing. I was like, yeah, I'm kind of jumpy, but I was like, but I take beta blockers and like, honestly, that helps so much. And like, this only really happened to be like, I startle easily, but like this really like fright thing, I was like, that only started happening when after I got COVID and beta blockers have,

when I got POTS, that's what made it a lot worse. And beta blockers, like I'm pretty solid. Like it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life. And of all the long COVID things, doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life. Like I've got the POTS thing. It sucks, but I'm working on it. But like, that's also not your fucking field.

And he also wrote Adderall probably would hurt your sleep quality, to which I had also told him that i don't take it past a certain point in the day if i even take a second one even though it doesn't affect my sleep quality but because i've heard it could potentially and i don't want it to if there is a small chance that it could and i'm like i can't many people in a situation similar to your own are faced the decision of stopping slash changing how they take it what are you talking i knew that you you know the the some of the things that you said but you know we were

holding off because our friendship also includes a business. So, you know, you didn't go into details because you said you'd go into it today. And I am livid. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Oh, shit. I forgot the last one. You know what the official, when you went diagnosis, he actually wrote down for me fibromyalgia, which there are people in my DMs who have gone to multiple rheumatologists who won't give them a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and have said, maybe it's eds maybe it's something else like it's as if they're specifically holding back things and he's like i highlighted the things that affect uh that you fall under with fibromyalgia but like it's not many of them and so i'm like so instead when you're saying that i hit all of the markers

for eds i'm not gonna get a diagnosis of that but you're comfortable writing down i have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia with not many of these symptoms but if you get pregnant you should tell your doctor that you have eds yep and someone else said in my dms which i was like genius was like me and my friends just started telling our doctors that we're actively trying to have a baby and the amount of care the the change in quality of care is astronomical and i was like oh i guess that's what i should be doing at this point yeah sorry continue what you were saying i'm just mad i'm mad for you but also i'm not going to speak on why i went home like exactly because the person that it happened to. They don't want people to know, but it was in the same situation of they were

having a medical issue and they kind of just like gave up on actually finding the answer and was like, this is a mental thing. And then had a therapist come in and talk to them about something that didn't happen. And we're kind of trying to push that on. I was thinking about that the whole time. Yeah. And then finally, you know, they figured out what it was and I'm just, I'm angry. And the reason why they kept pushing only was because one of my best friends is a doctor and she was being an advocate and was like looking to see what doctors were on duty. Like what if it was somebody we shouldn't listen to, don't listen to this person and making sure we were having the best care. This is not her field, but she was making sure that we were taken care of. and it sucks that you have to have an advocate there

to make sure doctors are actually doing their job. Yeah, it was such a fucking headache. And like the copay, $90. Parking, $10. Driving, 45 minutes each way. Yeah, so you lost money and time. Yeah. And then had mental distress.

Yeah, and like he was like, well, you can go to like a physical therapist. Like people with EDS do that, but like they can like tape you or whatever. But like, you know, if you want that, like the whole thing of being like, just feeling like you are so silly and so stupid of like, whatever. And it's like, sir, if both of these doctors have referred me to you, there's no shot that you don't have other people who are going who have also been referred for an EDS diagnosis. Like, this is not the first time this has happened. And if this is something that you're, like, not my wheelhouse, not comfortable with this, whatever,

then your scheduling team should be, like, he's not someone who's going to take this appointment. Like, it's just, like, it just felt like such a failure of this system that, like, I have zero fucking control over. So then why am I being treated like the idiot? Like, that really fucking pisses me off. And I was just, like, so fucking annoyed. And so he was like, I mean, when I got home,

Mott's was like, he felt so bad. And he was like, I feel like I should go with you to the next one. I was like, yeah, but this is the issue is like, I have to educate myself so much that I can advocate for myself in that room. And then I have to, I have to educate you how to do that. And then you have to translate that to a man so that a man can hear me. So like, it's, there's just so much fucking effort. And like, everyone's like, get a second opinion.

And I was like, I didn't even want to go the first time around. Like, and when a doctor is like this doctor, like this doctor is going to be so like helpful. And like, I don't even know if they necessarily mean like that specific doctor who had the opening or this umbrella of rheumatologists and this office. So it's like, that is frustrating in itself. But it's like, I didn't even want to do this to begin with. But I was told it would be helpful if I got this diagnosis.

That's supposed to be the quick and easy part. They just want me to get the diagnosis because then my other doctors think that I can get more help if I have that diagnosis. But now getting that diagnosis is going to be a fucking pain in the ass that like, I don't even really care to like get like, it's just so fucking annoying. And just how men treat women where it's like you are not valuable until you're carrying a baby. And until then, best of fucking luck. And then just tell other lie to other doctors or tell them that this is fine or this is whatever. Once you're pregnant, there's zero point to it. And he was trying to treat it like, this is really exciting. You don't have an autoimmune condition. And I was like, do you know why I'm here? Like, I didn't come here being like, hey, I think I have lupus.

And this isn't that. So it felt like it was disingenuous from the very fucking start. And I just hated him. And I hated the whole ordeal and the whole thing. And I always had a lot of acknowledgement and empathy for people who are overweight, bigger bodied, fat, whatever term you adhere to, for how they're treated in the medical system with the blanket solution of, have you tried losing weight? Just lose weight. And I have friends who've gone through that specifically and most often with PCOS, where people gain weight because they have PCOS. And then doctors are like, just lose weight. That's your only problem. And it's like, but I'm gaining weight because something's wrong. And they're like, well, lose the weight and then we'll figure out if something's wrong. And it's like, but that's the whole fucking issue. Like, what do you mean starting from this? Like, that doesn't make any fucking sense. I can't imagine if I had fibromyalgia or I had arthritis and I'm in a lot of joint pain and I'm being told that no you it's you just need to lose weight because being told that I need to exercise

even though I can I can clearly see that you're not set you're not setting I can clearly see you're not fat but like you need to do more it's like good god that's like and the way you're delivering this information to me is like well look at you great genetics and it's like so I get good genetics for looking like this but then when people don't look like this that's a personal failure i am just not going to go to any male doctors anymore the only male doctor well i like my pulmonologist and it was the same building and i wanted to like go by his office and just cry i'm sure he would have been like honey it's okay and like my cardiologist is fine but like i think back to like the only like really good male doctor i have is my pcp where like

i cried in his office and like i remember he said he's like i'm so sorry and i was like what he was like that's it i'm just sorry and i was like oh like you're just expect people just be like oh i'm sorry i can't help you but like having someone be like no i'm just like that sucks but like oh i hated this man so it was a woman that referred you to the not the specific doctor but so the it's all the same like main like the rheumatology department so i don't know that either of them specified a specific doctor to go to, but just get a referral to Rheumatology. They'll call you and schedule with who's the first available. But she might have scheduled me with a woman. So can you talk to them and be like, hey, this dude sucks and this is what he

told me? And then maybe say, is there a specific doctor that you recommend? Yeah. So I can ask my PCP for that because I remember I had told my pulmonologist that I didn't like my cardiologist. My cardiologist is fine. I know how to work with him now. And so we're fine. But my pulmonologist was like, I'll help you get it. If you don't like that doctor, I'll help you get another doctor. But with this one, at first I was like, I feel stupid. I feel like I did something wrong by wasting his time and coming in. I felt like I wasted his time and I shouldn't have had this appointment. But I'm like, bitch, you were referred twice by two different doctors to have this appointment. Everyone wanted you to have this appointment. This man knew what your

appointment was for. When they scheduled it, they knew what your appointment was for. Everything is written down why you're coming in. Like this wasn't my fault. And so I wasn't going to say anything because I like, again, everyone's like reporting him reporting. I was like, I feel silly and I feel stupid because I feel like I fucked up somehow. It's not you. Well, then I get the push notification from the hospital saying, rate your recent visit. And I said, if you insist, and that felt like a sign to me. And so I did it and I wrote everything and I'm glad I did it that way because I wanted to make abundantly because it goes through like how was your scheduling service and I want to be like, everyone who worked there was so kind, so helpful, so great. Not him. All

of the women were amazing. Not him. And so I was I wanted to make sure massage. Exactly. I know I thought about that literally as it was happening and I was filling it out. And so I explained like just like incredibly dismissive and latched on to things and decided things that were not what we talking about not what I was here for not productive and super dismissive of my what I'm dealing with and everything and chalking it all up to anxiety and he even said at one point that he's like well I think the reason why you're probably like having this like whatever you're saying about this exhaustion after your time like after you exercise is your body probably just thinks uh your body your body just like lives in trauma like your body just identifies everything

as trauma and exercise is probably trauma for you and I was like I didn't exercise for like a lot of year like I danced and then I didn't exercise for a lot of years and then I exercised again for a lot of years and I stopped and like I've had this all this stuff this whole time it's not ebbing and flowing it's like no I think it's just like a it's trauma and then he even said something about my um thinking that I'm my allergies because I'm sick and I'm like there's a trauma response of my allergies of like my my being sick and then having allergies in a mindset and it's all getting worse because I'm not having enough of the time to process.

And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? The more I'm like, this dude needs his license taken because he's talking about things that are psychological and that is not his department at all. And it's crazy to me because not that I know a ton about like med school, but from people I follow who have been in med school, the tracks that tend to have the least people

wanting to opt in for them are mental health ones because people are like, I don't want to work with that. I don't want to work with that. So I go, so why you, sir, who've achieved the title of rheumatologist, why suddenly now are you so desperate to get into mental health about women oh and then he asked me do you like water and i said oh i drink a lot of water but i brought it i'm wearing a mask so i didn't bring a water bottle he goes no i meant like pools and i was like oh i don't have a pool

and he was like what about like would you just like get into a pool and i was like for like swimming exercise he goes like just floating and i was like like sensory deprivation he goes that's weird isn't it and i was like are you just telling me to float in a pool like that scene from new girl like what the fuck does this have to do he's not even talking about joint pain relief like he's not talking about any of it he's just like i think you need to do that and you need to like relax and i'm like i don't know what about me i wouldn't say i'm like an incredibly chill person but i wouldn't say i'm uptight or high strung whatsoever and like i was not that in the appointment i was like this was my personality have you ever met someone with a personality before it was making

miss my cardiologist it was so fucking weird it was so weird i wish i could remember like everything he said but i was just like what are you talking about so mention be doctors and i'm giving an exception to my primary care physician he is a gay man my primary care physician is amazing maybe it's like don't specialize no yeah mention specialized no because there's also an ego that it comes the more education you need for something and again i knew cardiology i know brain doctors i i've had better experiences with a cardiologist and a neurologist who both were like girl you are quirky and fun and i'm like thank you like stand up over then this man all right i'm i'm sorry well i wrote the review we'll see what happens great i was reading his other reviews and

the ones that are negative are saying pretty much the same thing that you know i bet it's women i don't think he likes women i don't think he dislikes them sexually but i think he dislikes them as a concept all right well we're gonna take a break And we're back. And it's time for But Are You Wrong? where we read your submissions, where you let us know something that you're currently facing, a decision you've made or will be making,

and you want to know if it doesn't have our sales approval. Are you wrong? Are you not wrong? We'll let you know. So you can submit that to butamirongpod at gmail.com. Keep it under 300 words. Please let us know your age in this, and it is all anonymous.

So use fake names, and we will do our best to put the gavel down, the iron gavel. Hi, queens. I love you guys so much. So I am 32, she, her, and my best friend is 28, she, her. I don't know how else to say this, but she has really bad breath. Other people in our friend group have commented on it,

but no one has said anything to her. She's very sensitive and this won't go over well. Am I wrong if I don't approach her about it? I feel bad people are talking about her, but I also feel bad hurting her feelings. I feel like it's a no-win situation. I'm sorry. Some people just have bad breath.

I would tell her, I once had a friend that smelled really bad and people were talking about her, like people, like strangers that I, it was in college and it'd be like strangers would say, I would hear them saying things about her. She had BO and I told her because I felt like she should know. And you want to know what she said? Well, if I smell bad, my mom would tell me. And then I'm thinking, your mom probably smells bad, too.

And thinking, I don't want to meet your mom. I don't want to be stuck in a car with this family. But at least it was said. Yeah. I do think you'd be a bad person if you didn't. I think you should tell her because people will continue talking and it will make, I think it makes you a bad person if you know that somebody, regardless of the situation, if you know people are talking bad about your friend and you hear it and people in your friend group are saying things and you don't tell your best friend, And I think that's not being a good friend.

I agree. I don't think you have to tell her like everyone's like people are talking about it. But I think if she doesn't respond well to be like, no, I don't. It's like, OK, I'm trying to be this as like so kind as possible because like I love you. People are talking about it. And like, I just want to help you out. It's one of those things like, sure, you would know anyone on the receiving end of that. My instinct reaction mortified.

Would I ever be mad at the person telling me and wish they hadn't told me? No, I'm like mad at myself and I'm embarrassed. but like even the outcome in which her feelings are hurt she's not like i would actually rather live in denial with my halitosis like that's actually not that's just that that's not that's not the other outcome so you're not gaining anything by not telling her whatsoever and as we said before as soon as people start talking and if you are involved or have heard those conversations and those people know you've heard those conversations you will get corrupt like looped in as like a weed corroboration if you don't want to be a part of the weed you got to

break off from that fucking wing right it's your best friend yep and i would say always carry some gum with you and you take a piece and eat it and say would you like some this is where me not me having like a problem with having a filter comes in very handy i have to like backpedal like i will literally like hug moss i go oh my god you smell and i go i'm sorry that was so rude like i like will just say and it's just because it comes to my mind and i go i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and And I'm like, that's fine. I'm hopping in the shower. And I was like, okay, sorry.

But like, I don't know what I would, if I had a friend who had bad breath and like we hugged, I go, oh my God, bitch, what the fuck did you eat? Like, it would just come so quickly. So if you have a relationship like that, it doesn't have to be like, we have to have a sit down talk about your chronic bad breath.

It can be like, bitch, your breath fucking stinks. Sometimes that's better. Okay. I, 26, would love an unbiased opinion. My boyfriend, 25, and I moved in together with a friend, Laney, 26. last summer she asked me and my boyfriend if we were interested in taking a room in her apartment otherwise she would have to move when we moved in laney had warned us that she hadn't been at

the apartment for about a month as she'd been traveling and staying with her girlfriend marnie i knew she spent a lot of the time at marnie's and we talked about it often and i heard about times when laney's last roommate slash friend confronted laney about always being at marnie's we ended up moving to a dirty apartment dirt from the old roommate moving out socks and then baby clothes? Absolutely everywhere. Unorganized kitchen and general disarray. She gave us full permission to move some items while we were unpacking and apologized the whole time, promising that she would come as soon as possible to organize. She did, a little bit. Since September, Lainey has been to the apartment approximately 12 times, sleeping here twice.

Each time, she moved things around, sometimes bringing food and forgetting about it or leaving behind dishes. Because it happens sporadically and it's small things, we haven't said anything to her about it in the meantime we feel like we're living in the same mess we were months ago our second ever guest just stayed with us so i cleaned our living room i kept laney's things in the same area just organized throughout the trash returned our kitchen items and closed to her room i started to message laney to let her know where her things were moved and realized i should have given her a chance to clean it or ask permission i feel bad my boyfriend is reminding me how many times she promised to clean i'm just going to add in would i was i wrong for moving her things

without I think it's like a two-prong are you wrong for moving her things and then are you wrong for not saying anything at this point not wrong for moving her things and I think you are doing a huge disservice to you and your boyfriend for not talking to her about this like if she wants to have a glorified storage unit she can buy a storage unit to have her her stuff there but if you are both i'm curious if you both like work from home like does she ever come home during the day like is it just like she's straight up is not there at like really almost at all because to that i would be like i think we need to implement a new rule that once the stuff is in the common like the common area of the room it needs to be tossed in the sense that like if you

if it is here for x amount of time it kind of like you know in um elementary school where you've got like a lost and found. And it only lasts for X amount of time before they're donating it. Like the notion that the common areas become are also her apartment when only when she's there, but when she's not there,

out of sight, out of mind, like dirty food, like boldy food, all of that. I think you would be wrong if you don't bring that up. I don't think you were wrong for moving the stuff at all. Like it's your living room too.

Once it's in the common area, it's everybody's stuff. so free game but yeah i agree with what megan said like this person why are they even there why do they have a place storage what's the point they not just like well y'all have been there but even before that they were never there anyway so i'm sorry you had to move into a filthy apartment with baby clothes question mark question mark i'm sorry i have so many more follow-up questions for that like I can't who's baby what are the size of the baby clothes is this like multiple size does it feel like we're fitting multiple babies are do they have this baby living there are there

of the seasons like do these babies need these clothes are these worn baby clothes are these babies looking for these clothes sorry but I would get up and also y'all didn't even want to live there you just moved in because you were trying to help her out I would get out as soon as possible Yeah. And if you like the place, I would be like, hey, we found someone who could take over the rest of your lease and you can move with your girlfriend if you want. Or I think the better choice would be to jump ship whenever you can. I will say though for anybody who's moving in as a couple with a singular other person and they're like this is perfect ask yourself why because I if I was single I would not as an individual doesn't mean I'm not in a relationship as an individual would never want to live with a couple and I do think it is a little when someone is like no I'm cool living with a it's just a weird

dynamic so it makes sense to me that she's like yeah I don't care about living with a couple because I'm never actually fucking there. Like, I don't actually live there. It is time for But Are They Wrong? And this is where we nominate a person, place, or thing, something in the pop culture, current events, zeitgeist, who deserves a public humiliation. Tomato, tomato, tomato, boo.

We collectively talk about how shit they are. And we don't do it to their faces unless it's Mitch McConnell because that face is on borrowed time. All right. My nomination this week is for Judge Robert Adrian and content warning here for sexual assault. This past Friday, he was removed from the bench after there was a three day hearing in Chicago because a complaint was filed against him. The decision said that Adrian engaged in several instances of misconduct and abuse of his position and power. they could have, if they wanted to, the commission could have just reprimanded him

and gave him a suspension without pay. But they said, we've got ample grounds to just remove this dude. And they did it. So in October 2021, he was resigning over a case where he found an 18-year-old Drew Clinton from Michigan guilty of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl during a May 2021 graduation party, a complaint was filed because he first had said that this dude was going to jail. And then he was like, nevermind, the 148 days that he spent in jail was punishment enough. And so he even at this point has doubled down and said what he did was correct. Usually in these type of cases, the person that was assaulted isn't named, but this person wanted to make it clear that like they weren't afraid. And so her

name is Cameron Vaughn. She's now 18. And she said that she was completely shocked that this is what the judge decided when she attended the commission proceedings with family and friends. After Adrian And throughout Clinton's conviction, Vaughn said that the judge told the court, this is what happens whenever parents allow teenagers to drink alcohol, the swim in pools with their undergarments on. She recounted the account and is also supported by court documents. And so, of course, this sparked outrage, saying that her heart was bleeding and she was like so sad. And then she told the Chicago Tribune the following Friday's decision removing Adrian, she was very happy that the commission could see all the wrong and all the lies that he told the entire time. I'm so unbelievably happy right now. He can't hurt anybody. He can't ruin anyone else's life.

And so this man also said he reversed his guilty finding based on his reconsideration of the evidence and his conclusion that the state had failed to prove his case to be a subterfuge respondent's attempt to justify the reversal post hoc. And he's standing by that. He said that on Friday. He still believes that what he did wasn't wrong at all. And the worst part of this is that clinton the person that committed the crime he can't be tried again under the fifth amendment so he is free to do whatever he wants now and wholeheartedly i think everybody should know what he looks like know what his name is and people talk shit on those uh facebook groups about like do you know this guy that i'm dating like all of that stuff and people are like this

for women to talk shit on like the size of guys dicks and it's like no there's like something a bunch like there is a code between women who understand the justice system fails them that like i had a horrible college experience but i remember uh upperclassmen girls like in my like not even in my sorority but like people i met like day one day two immediately being like stay away from this guy this guy this guy and like i take that and okay got it got it and like has to be a lot of our own um justice system and it does make me wonder what other things he has done that have gotten swept under the rug to the point where they were like he we're kicking him out after this one and how many things that they've like sealed and hidden that he's done because um in our present

time that is not a first-time offense that is a fireable offense for him for the judge so so the judge robert adrian the abuser's name is drew clinton yeah fuck them hate it i had a couple of ones i was debating obviously a lot of them are very depressing of current times of ivf and all of that i will recommend everybody for um to watch there's an snl sketch that marcello is that Marcello yeah he is doing it with Colin Jost which is how you know it's funny because I'm recommending you a sketch with Colin Jost because he is the perfect wall for Marcello just to bounce right off of Michael Che is there who says maybe one thing also funny but it is like there are so many things that are like obviously so fucking enraging about it but there's something

to be said about the right kind of ridiculous humor in it and like i think there's sometimes snl does ones that i go that's in very poor taste that is like not funny but the hypocritical nature of all of it is mind-blowing to the point where like if you don't laugh you'll cry if you don't like laugh you'll cry it brought some much-needed levity after going through and reading all this awful shit happening going on so i would recommend everybody watch that and i want to specify marcello plays a frozen embryo and he just looks like he's kind of doing elsa from frozen cosplay like we just have some white eyelashes and some like little white little flecks on his face and it's the best sketch i think they've done in years so on a lighter note but a similarly like

dystopian note i would like to nominate well actually before i do this did you have ties to the kellogg ceo no okay everything about kellogg's was founded on racism well they're bad eugenics like yeah the founder was very much into eugenics and thought cornflakes could and that will get there's there's something that is stuck with them it's getting very much johnson and johnson So I would like to nominate the Kellogg CEO, Gary Pilnick. And when I tell you that I almost gasped reading this headline, he suggested that in a CNBC interview that consumers should eat cereal for dinner to save money. Teenagers with body image issues everywhere who have done the special K challenge to get skinny for prom,

myself included, are screaming everywhere. Anyone who is in a voting age at this point has already fallen for the Special K, a Kellogg brand, telling you to eat Special K for dinner to get ready for that big night to fit in a dress. But hey, we can't do that anymore because that's like body shaming. Instead, let's frame this in being financially responsible. The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure, he said. This is in the conversation around it,

about high grocery prices. If you think about the cost of cereal for a family versus what they might otherwise do, that's going to be much more affordable. And then when the CNBC host said that, I don't think that's going to land necessarily well with customers, he said he stood by it. In fact, it's landing really well right now.

Cereal for dinner is something that is probably more on trend now, and we should expect it to continue as the as the consumer is under pressure the insanity of this of being like hey poor i know you're poor give me money and eat my cereal poor like he's like i have a great idea how about instead of you eating something else you save money and you eat my thing and when i cereal historically up until i mean i would say up until like quite recently when people have gotten into um all these alternative cereal brands the reason why those have been successful is because there have been a desperation and need in the market for them because cereal is

absolutely empty when it comes to nutritional value it's like relatively devoid of any nutritional value and the amount of like when people especially when they're like oh calcium it's like well when you add the milk it adds this much more there that like the amount of cereal you would have to actually eat to reach the needs of what they're saying like well it has this vitamin and this vitamin what are you fucking talking about it and also it is uh for the context it is common as consumers have been forced to spend about 26 percent more on groceries in general since 2020 according to the guardian and it is worth noting that kellogg has raised his prices 12 percent in the last fiscal year as it pleads with his customers to eat cereal for dinner and give

chicken the night off i'm trying to find in the 90s they used to say like eat cereal as a part of this balanced breakfast and it'd be like 50 other things that were on the screen at the same time with the cereal because they can't claim that like so they've got this is from an ad with captain crunch and it's got a bowl of cereal with milk and then also a glass of milk next to it and a glass of orange juice plus a piece of toast and a plate full of fruit like not just one apple it's grapes and a couple apples and they're saying that's a balanced breakfast it's just like infuriating and there's also nothing fucking funnier to me than a bazillionaire telling poor people have you ever thought about doing this when you're poor and i go sir

poor is the the choices you make come out of need it's not like you know i've actually never thought to have cereal we've just been like does he think people are putting like filet mignon on credit cards. And that's like, oh, they're getting more and more in debt because of that. So that's not what's happening. People are the desperation

of having to feed yourself. People who cannot afford anything other than cereal are already eating cereal. Nobody is like mind blown. What a great tip. It's like the fucking billionaires being like, have you ever thought of not eating avocado toast?

And it's like, what are you talking about? We are in such different life experiences that you think that you're offering some brand new novel idea. have you heard of cereal and also that man's must have never eaten his own cereal because i go have you would you not wake up hungry and also most of the time that this is happening and when people are really struggling for money parents are not eating and they're making sure their kids

are eating and those kids need something more than cereal to eat and especially if they're on like school lunch programs or they're getting things so you know what they're gonna get from school cereal drives me fucking crazy and it's just like their pr team also such a poorly worded statement i'm like you need media training not just for like what you're saying but also how you're saying it needs to lose his job oh without a doubt he should lose his job cereal is also not cheaper than a lot like a lot of fast food that actually has protein in it idiot all right well that's the end of today's episode be sure to tune in tomorrow for fisting friday where we will read the results from last week's episode of what am i wrong and then monday we've got a brand new

episode of don't blame me followed by see you next tuesday don't forget to write in to but am i wrong pod at gmail.com keep it to 300 words or less and make sure you give a clear question of what you are wrong for and leave us a review on apple podcast or on spotify anything else i think that's it all right well we'll circle back yes we will goodbye we got the same time but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson