Don't Blame Me! - BAIW: My Roommate Hovers in the Kitchen

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

But Am I Wrong: Melisa: Black Friday Hot Takes Meghan: More people should walk around with the daily fear of being haunted But Are You Wrong: Boss was inconvenienced by my mental health day Roommate doesn't understand personal space But Are They Wrong Melisa: Jason P. Frank Meghan: Jason Gladwell of Gladwell Orthodontics in Raleigh Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi hello and welcome to another episode of but am i wrong my name is megan and my name is melissa together we make the delicious chocolate concoction coated in candy will be melt in your mouth and not in your hand i'll melt in your hand if you if you play your cards right if you ask nicely i'll melt wherever you want me to fucking melt so you're an asker i'm a teller i i boss people around all fucking day i don't need to be bossed around in the bedroom see i boss people around all day i need i i don't i don't want to have to make decisions welcome to another episode if you're brand new here welcome welcome welcome this is a great place i some might say we are an acquired taste but i say you need to acquire some taste is that a

house it is a house i was like that sounds like it would be a house line and it literally is who is it i feel like it's an oc person that's ironic no offense actually full offense orange county there's no there's no taste orange county or maybe it's a ramona line i will excuse it from any any place except for orange county no uh ramona has been fired because her racism has been now oh no no i don't mean excusing the person but i mean like i think that it's yeah i could see it being a realistic claim if you live anywhere except for orange it is a ramona it is a Ramona she is New York okay and she recently has been fired from everything because she said I'm not even gonna I'll say it for you but oh you saw it okay and also like I was like

what shifted because this to me I was like isn't this just what she's been doing yes she literally parties in Mar-a-Lago every weekend it's never been explicitly in writing and now there's no like well isn't it in writing to a producer she plays dumb a lot yeah also and so she's like oh i didn't understand i didn't get it but now there's no not understanding and they have a new show so they don't necessarily need her no but they were bringing it back and then she was supposed to be at bravo con and got fired from that and then they have like all the spin-off shows that they go on trips now so peacock opened a whole new the app opened a whole new lane for those producers because now they just make up shit that is wild maybe that'll be our next venture

just make up shit yeah we just start just making up the most outlet like when i see some of the reality tv shows get made and i'm like okay if we're just saying shit maybe my reality tv show about people who go on dates and then we tell them that they're related is like legit like that is so much no i do too i was saying like that's like the worst possible thing that could happen but now i'm at this point of being like i give it three weeks before that shit's fucking on netflix it could be a tlc show yeah like milf manor unbelievably close well um this truly has almost nothing to do with um our actual podcast uh except it does a little bit because this is you know ethical shit talking we have three different segments we will explain each of them

before we get into them but just know we're talking shit and the only people who haven't really consented to us talking shit are the people in the third category which are maybe politicians pop culture news current events dax shepherd is one who i will constantly repeat and and and yeah and we have a episode on friday called fisting friday where you can vote on who you think was wrong in each of the circumstances that we go over in today's episode and it's a great time it is you can also go on to patreon to watch the video version yeah because you don't want to miss what megan just did anyway should we get into our first segment i think that's a great idea our first segment is called but am i wrong and that's when we propose something from our own lives it could

be a hot take. It could be us actually being wrong in a situation and we propose it to each other and to you and then it gets a vote on. I'm up first. This comes out either you're hearing this on November 22nd, 23rd or 24th. I love it. It's a holiday week, so I'm going to give it a little breathing room and so um last year i did thanksgiving hot takes this year i'm gonna do black friday hot takes black friday in itself is a hot take i can't wait until your veterans day hot takes all right black friday hot takes they're not gonna be funny i'm just stating things that are facts to me first of all black friday sucks stay home number one you aren't really getting a deal.

What the fuck is a door buster? All you're doing is busting your ass for a sucky, low-quality TV that isn't actually worth it. The big box stores usually just have extra inventory and they're getting rid of the shit that they don't want anyways,

or they hiked up the price the month before and then they just drop it on that day to make it look like it's on sale when it's actually not. Number two, the stores are going to be overly crowded and your immune system sucks. Most of us were in the house for two, three years, and our immune systems went down.

Yes, COVID is still a thing, but also there are other illnesses out there. Even just getting the common cold now sucks. Number three, it also triggers impulsive shopping, and you'll buy things that you don't need. Number four, violence. let's not forget that people have gotten beat up and trampled to death to get $20 off of a vacuum cleaner let's also not forget that those exact same deals are online the week before and they will be the week after people have started bringing pepper spray and just spraying it in people's eyes to get an xbox and there has been an increased number of stabbings and shootings

And finally, number five, capitalism. When Black Friday was first proposed, it was for financial records. It was once a common accounting practice where we would use red ink when we were making marks in a notebook or on your computer. And so Black Friday is just a way for the stores to get out of the red and take your money and uh that is it that's all i got just don't support small businesses if we have a store up at some point support that because we are a small woman partially black owned business also partially small i'm quite tall there's two people that work here yes and one of them is virtually checked out all the time and that one is me actually there's more i should say there's more there's me there's you there's coco there's

melanie we're doing the store it's just us yeah yeah um which is and a lot of that's me and that's why we don't have it right now so but yeah black friday no and that's all i have i'm obsessed with black friday i think it's like such a fun event i had a friend who shit their pants on black friday and while we were shopping and so we called it brown friday for like years and i just think like the concept of it is like hilarious once you got to like the the stabbings and the shootings i was like okay because i was like i do miss the drama of black friday like i miss like the newscasts of like people being like they're waiting out here like you just know you're not being elbows yeah like you know you're actually not getting that good of a deal um but now that i know that like

people are dying like i i don't want to bring that i don't need that level of drama back um don't arm them but i will say if you are smart about it first never get anything any fucking thing on quote-unquote sale on amazon nothing is ever on sale on amazon like that is all a fucking scam and a lie prime day all a fucking scam i also have an app that shows me that tracks when things are going up and down yep anyway so it's never so only thing i'll say is if you want to get a tv specifically like and best by best by really like the most but i will say the biggest hack for anyone who wants to get the really hella hella good deal on black friday is buying a refurbished tv with a warranty on black friday the tv won't work they'll set it up and then they have

to come bring you a brand new one that is way more expensive than the old ass one that is refurbished that they're trying to offload from their inventory during Black Friday. And to that, we call it an ethical scam because they were being unethical and then you got one over on them. I say the same thing for refurbished blenders, Vitamixes, all of that kind of stuff. And I will sing the praises of Macy's. There are certain stores where it's like, do that online shopping.

Macy's is on sale all year long. No, I know. It's the Macy's Sneed Sale. you get like the thing that kills me is like you they will have like free people and it's like brand new dress release on free people's website and they go four dollars and free people's like 200 and you're like how is this allowed or like nike here's some brand new nikes they're sold out everywhere would you like them for free at night i get all all my like athletic stuff i get it at macy's bedding great at macy's kitchenware everything kitchenware yes you need a good uh

present for somebody for a wedding a martha's find where they are registered and then you can find it at macy's for two dollars no macy's is like we've got a whole ass parade to worry about you can have all this shit for free like yes that is where i'll say like if you do do your shopping smart like be smart about it and i think that like i only ever go back to like the same places like that i know and i don't go in person i only do online yeah i do gotta say though the holiday shopping getting it done the day after thanksgiving is hella nice i hate it i like the rush the day of that is like legitimately like i i would i would crumble in the fetal position like i would i i would lose my mind i respect that we all have different things and when that

means that i don't have to fight with you for a place on in the virtual digital line checking out macy's yeah and you don't have to fight with me in line on christmas eve i got all my uh travel clothes because i like to keep my travel clothes when i'm on the plane in the same spot because then i just wash it in hot water and then don't touch it again till i'm traveling and i got all that at macy's perfectly normal well i mean i personally don't agree with you but i'm happy we have different viewpoints because it makes it easier for me to get my get my sales but i did say you can go online oh no yeah then i agree with everything yes well i would disagree with you until you said people were dying and i was like okay i can't stand that sorry people are dying

megan you know what and that is where i i draw i draw the line there at death and i do we all have our we all have our limits and that's fine um which is crazy for some people so um my hot take is more people should walk around with the daily fear in their lives of being haunted like i think all of the actions regardless of what you believe in like the like afterlife or whatever it is we too many people are walking around here you know people that say like we said this with comedians where it's like you know comedians like you you should be worried that someone's going to come up on stage and punch you in the face if you say something like racist or sexist or homophobic or like hella fucking offensive like you should not feel like this this is not

a safe place like you you should be on on high alert and also like continually to check yourself but specifically in the terms of haunting like i just think some of these some things that people say some things people do some things people advocate for i'm just over here being like your grandchildren's grandchildren you're about to curse them for all the time like the idea that like you you can just say and wish horrible things upon people and nothing's going to come back and bite you in the ass like i think about this all the time i'm nice to my electronics because transformers can come come true one day but this idea that some people have that what they say and what they do it ends with them here that's that's freaky to me like that's a little like i

think that is spookier than the concept of you're gonna get fucking haunted like someone's ancestors are gonna come for you and like come on i i just think that we would all if we incorporated a bit more of that quote-unquote fantasy into our lives i think we would act better i think people would act better if there was a real threat and i'm i'm fine planting fake scientific evidence that there's a threat that you'll be haunted i think it'll save a lot of us well to that you know you said about getting fucking haunted and i believe that there's a thin line between fear and excitement and a fantasy of mine is to get fucking haunted haunting and fucked so i don't disagree our reasoning might be slightly different just slightly but yeah i don't disagree there you go

and you know what i knew you were gonna be my co-captain this all aboard the spooky ship you're here on the quest for fucking ghosts i'm here on the quest of getting these ghosts to go haunt some of these bitches help them get their fucking acts together like you think about that in like movies where it's like someone's like i don't know they're they're a bully or they're something i just watched the i've been watching re-watching the harry potter series of mods but there's like a scene in the third one where like malfoy and his friends are like giving harry i mean giving ron and hermione shit and harry has the invisibility cloak on he like pants his them and starts like you know throwing snowballs at them and they freak out like if you there was

like an invisible thing fucking with you while you were doing bad things maybe you would stop doing bad things what if i want to do bad things so then they fuck with me okay but you're the things that you would be doing that are bad are very different than the things that i'm telling about these people are about to get haunted for like they're cursing their goddamn fucking souls i'm just like oh your grandkids are gonna be like why am i the most unlucky person in the entire fucking world and it's gonna be like uh-oh yeah i mean you know i've always had that script idea in my head you're not wrong and on that note it's time to take a break at ikea we make things just for college life like the rose and mandel blackout curtains in gray

they say you can't put a price on sleep but we did for the low low price of $49.99 why are you in my room shh go back to sleep you have a big exam tomorrow shop back to school at ikea and we're back and it's time for our second segment which is what are you wrong where you our listeners will write in with the situation that you are currently dealing with and the perils you are having, wondering if you would be wrong for doing X, Y, and Z. And we will assign you the role of hero or villain. It has to be under 300 words and you can send it to butamirongpod at gmail.com. Let us know your age, keep it all anonymous so you can use pseudonyms,

fake names, and we will tell you if you're wrong. All right. Hi, Megan and Melissa. this is about myself 20 she her and my boss 53 she her for context i work in a very non-traditional hair salon of three people including myself who at the moment is an assistant with none of my own clients last thursday there was a lot of finding in my home still live with parents that led me leaving with bare minimum essentials while not knowing how i was going to access a shower or get makeup slash clothes appropriate for the standard of the salon, I decided it would be best to preemptively let her know I wasn't going to make it in. I let her know it was a family issue. I wasn't ready to discuss yet, but would let her know more Monday at work and apologize

knowing it's an inconvenience, but figuring out my next steps was more important than stressing out about work. This morning at work, she asked what happened. I explained and then she basically said, I'm glad you're safe, but it was an inconvenience that you were gone and you should have looked at my schedule and considered that before calling out and to give her more of a reason next time. She kept saying she didn't want to make me feel bad, but kept saying we all have shit and you got to come in to work sometimes and that she ran late and didn't get to eat anything. I would also like to note that in six months I've worked with her, I've never once called out or not shown up and i have never even been late am i wrong for thinking it was a bit

inconsiderate of her to ask me to prioritize her and her business over my situation no you're not wrong i also think this is a generational thing because gen x people and boomers they are like the type of people like you go to work no matter what while millennials gen z i'm sure the alpha of people be the same way of like mental health if you have to take a mental health day then take it and i don't need an explanation and that's it but you're not wrong um she's being an asshole and i'm sure she was speaking from stress but when you have a business you have to realize that sometimes you have to pick up the slack well i wouldn't even call it slack you have to complete the tasks that other people might have that they were doing in order for the business

to keep going yeah i i agree with everything that like i think um specifically in not even just all cosmetology like specifically in hair your mood is incredibly important and like your mental health is important like it is hairstylists are unpaid i mean they're therapists as well like there's like a lot of that and like being like emotionally checked in and there for your clients but also like as an assistant you know most of what your job is is to be learning from her and she needs to be able to do her job without you it could be inconvenience it could be annoying sure but like really what that is especially in such a small salon like that like if if one person calls out for any reason and it makes your work day harder and you are the boss

that is your fault in in the hiring like if it like really fucks up and ruins everything you have no one to cover you have none of that kind of stuff like that is on the structure of it and that's also not your responsibility like you're the assistant that's on her and i think like i think that part of the reason why she's even phrasing like this being like you know we all have our stuff it's like she's trying to make this a teachable moment for you and again like it's very similar into how most hairstylist assistant relationship is like i'm trying to like really have this be like a teachable thing but if it was if it was cool and it was fine and she understood especially after like knowing what the specific circumstance was i think you're right

i think it's just a generational thing of being like well this still needs to be a lesson because like I might have gone into it being like oh you know what this is a good like lesson to be like sometimes and like hear how I get through when I'm having like personal issues through my work day and like I also think that like it sounds like you show up and you don't have the right outfit like she might have even been upset like you know and being like okay so you're worried about the outfit like how about we keep an extra outfit here this is something I would do like she could have had that be the teachable moment but instead after like finding out specifically like what had happened and like knowing that it was like very intense and that like specifically her saying like

i'm glad you're safe and then to be like well this still can be a teachable moment it's like right well no you you you might have misread the room before but like now now you know the room so like don't do that right and like when someone that works with me gets sick or they like go out of town or like something last minute comes up and work has to be done i just do it and i will like I'll even say like if you have stuff to do like don't worry about like you like stuff non-work stuff like if you have other things to do and you can't be here to do work don't worry about I'll do it like I just that's what you do when you own a business when it's a small business especially one that requires requires you to not just like be behind a computer screen crunching out numbers

something that requires you to be emotionally even if not physically present but like that you need to show up for in a meaningful way because it's creative or whatever it is it's always going to be a back like someone's always and then one other person and then people will grant the same grace towards you and that burnout mentality is incredible i think specifically incredibly dangerous when it comes to hairstylists because you can make so much fucking money and then you never see your family you never have friends like you because it is just non-stop how much money you can make if you burn your if you like completely wreck yourself and that's hard and what you did was you checked yourself before you wrecked yourself yep and that's what you should do so

you're not wrong all right next one hello eminem my roommate always comes into the kitchen while i'm in there i could be taking 10 minutes in the morning to make coffee and tidy up and she'll come in to make slash grab breakfast even though she started work at least an hour earlier we both work from home. If I start making dinner at 4 p.m., she'll choose to start cooking then as well. If I wait until 7 p.m., she will too. One time I was boiling pasta, she put two other pans on the stove and took up 90% of the counter space, making it nearly impossible for me to finish my meal. She'll also come in when I'm putting away groceries, trying to clean, etc. To be clear, I'm never using the kitchen for more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time. I purposely make really

quick meals. It's also a small galley kitchen, so there's really not room for two people to be using it at once. I don't think she does it to have company because she doesn't even try to chat with me typically. I've asked her to wait until I'm finished in the kitchen to come in, but she either refuses or just hovers instead, i.e. she'll sit at the kitchen table on her phone and swoop in periodically when I'm off to one side. Or if I'm washing the dishes, she'll decide that that's a good time to fill up her water bottle and stand behind me waiting to refill the pitcher at the sink. Then if I take a step to grab a dirty dish from the stove, she swoops in and I'm left waiting for her with soapy hands. The kitchen is empty for at least 22 hours of the day, but she rarely

chooses to use it in am i wrong for finding this unbelievably annoying the fact that you have not punched her in the face i'd be so mad would i have a really big issue with personal space like i love moths to death i love that boy to death but sometimes if he's like hey i can't find the sink can you help me look and i will look he is i can feel his breath on my ear and i'm like if you don't step back for me like i cannot be you cannot i cannot be held accountable for what i'm about to like I am like get like I need breathing or like get out of my personal space so that specifically when I am near cutlery I'm like do you have a fucking death wish like that is the most annoying thing in the entire fucking world and when we lived in when we lived in like the mountain house

for like four months or something like that in Colorado during earlier parts of the pandemic and it was me mods my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and typically cook I would cook me and his monster's brother we would cook dinner and his wife is a vegetarian so we would cook two separate things so we would see one person is in the kitchen and then it would be like oh okay i'll either come hang out with you in like the wider room and space see if you need any help with anything or i will see that you're there ask what how long you think you've got left to it and then i will come back when you are done but like the fact that you're being like hey can you wait and it's like no that's actually fucking insane to me the last time that i had a roommate um some years

ago i would purposely cook around when i knew she wasn't there because we had a small galley kitchen too and it would be annoying if the two of us were in there even i would i mean there would be times where like she would come in and get something out the fridge while i was there and i was annoyed with her being that close to me but like she was just in and out so um no you're not wrong because this is annoying and I don't understand why they need to be in there at the same time that you're there but talk it out with them maybe have like scheduled times when you're in the kitchen I would also just every time that they walk in I would just leave the kitchen but what if you've got something boiling on the stove I would turn it off and I would leave it there and then I would

stand there with my arms crossed and be like let me know i'll just wait until you're done like i would out petty her at this point because like when you've said like hey can you wait until i'm done and it's like no or it's just like sitting there refusing like i would just reciprocate and then every time you hear her go into the kitchen or like maybe like one day then like don't go into the kitchen like does she cook and then as soon as she goes into the kitchen follow her there and just stand there and like just annoy her back until she realizes how fucking annoying she is or you could have a conversation i feel like somebody like this they won't even catch on to it i honestly i probably might like i would probably just snap and be like what's your fucking problem

like honestly like what the fuck like i wouldn't even come at it calmly i'd just be like what is this what is this maybe you could get some of those schoolyard um comebacks like are you paper am i glue like i'll open my barbecue whatever that one is like do i look like a grill why are off my barbecue like get out like or maybe wear pool floaties on your arms i'm even thinking about holidays when i'm home with my parents and i'm cooking in the kitchen i take shifts with my mom because even that kitchen is large and i don't want her in there at the same time as me and she'll come around and i'm like why are you here or i'll have like this island is mine i don't want like do not touch anything do not come over here this is this annoys me and now i'm just

thinking about how probably at this current moment this is probably happening while you're listening to this yeah this is understanding you in a much deeper level right now yeah well i've already told her that we will not be doing oh i snap i yell anyway but yeah i just think we need to like we need to normalize like yelling at other people yeah because sometimes people don't hear so you need to raise your voice so then they can hear you uh-huh like don't yell at your partner but like you're if your roommate if someone is being like purposefully like will like obtuse then it's like okay all tact is out the window i'm gonna be a petty bitch i'm gonna gentle parent you hi oh i see we have some big feelings here is there a reason why i love my

personal space. I know you must love your personal space. And right now it just feels like our personal spaces are hitting a little bit of a, of a, of a pressure point. And I don't want either of us to explode. So how about I count to three and when I'm done counting to three, you will be out of the kitchen. Then I will put a timer on. And when you hear that timer go, that means it is your time to come back in the kitchen. How does that sound? Like I would just, you gave a lot of options talking like a toddler yelling or being passive aggressive or physical violence no i'm not recommending physical violence i'm just saying you should be proud of yourself that it has not ended up there all right well on that note we're going to take another break

and we are back and it's time for our final segment which is called but are they wrong also rachel of the week and this is where we nominate someone in pop culture current events worst of the week and it could be in my case something that's a little farther back than a week ago but we just want to publicly shame on them shit talk them and we should never forget that this is where melissa introduced all of us to george santos and for that did you see that he said today that he won't be running for a second term after they've come up with all these things of like you're basically going to jail he's like no i'm not gonna run again did you see who's also not running i don't know who the man with the hired girlfriend oh yeah two days later two days

later it was like tom uh-huh um yeah yeah he dropped out oh george did you see that george santos like has been doing like a war at best i'm just gonna say this right now this is why i said we need to give these people reality shows because here's the thing i don't agree with him but do i want to see him on my tv in certain circumstances yes put him on big brother everything he's doing he's just been running scams and i think he just got in like so he can have a pension forever okay so i have a few that i'm just gonna rattle off my very unserious one is trevor jackson he knows what he did he's an actor but he also sings and he did a remix of water why is he looking into the camera i i want you it's not just that there's a lot going on that's not just

I'm seeing just the silent preview of the clip playing. I haven't even clicked on it. And why is he looking into the camera like that? Why is he singing his heart out when that song does not require all of that? Like, I need you. Like, he is literally, like, giving his all to a song that does not require all that. And he is making faces as if he is getting his dick shoved down someone's throat actively. Well, do you know why?

someone separately is sucking his balls at the same time and has a pinky up his asshole well do you know why it's because this man's claim to fame is let it shine which stars i know who's in it i'm for the for the people who might not know stars tyler james williams as well as coco jones and also is in casey undercover starring zendaya so he knows that he has been so they used to date you know what today we've all it's both our things but like this it's like he he knows he's been around star power for so long that he's he can't he can't have that he used to put all of it in yeah and someone's also putting it all in him yeah he's also on grown-ish and tiktok has been having a heyday with this so he gets it for that reason i'm also giving it to the biden administration

on a serious note and they also know what they're doing currently not listening to their constituents i can tell you that not trying to get re-elected tell you that yeah and so then here's my actual one which is like not as heavy as biden and not as light as aaron which is his character's name ungrown i was like who the fuck is aaron new york magazine slash vulture writer jason p frank so robin theedy in case you don't know is an actress and comedian and she's the creator of a black lady sketch show that aired for four seasons on hbo strongly recommend y'all check it out quentin's in the first season um and that's where she cheryl lever alf was in an episode and she was watching her and she was like i think she's barbara so anyway robin was on a panel at vulture fest

called robin theedy tells us how to write comedy gooder at vulture fest 2023 she had like critiques for uh sketch performances in front of a packed theater and so she said on the panel you get jokes even as a straight man, because you're a sketch performer. Your job is to make people laugh. I don't believe that straight men should ever not have jokes. On my show, we don't believe in straight men. Even the straight men are ridiculously that. And so in case you don't know what a straight man is in comedy, that is the person that kind of like keeps a straight face and their composure and sets up jokes for the other person that's being the funny man they help add to the comedy like for example like on this show this as in our podcast i a lot of times play the straight man and

then megan the fool it's called the fool and the straight yes and so and i play into it all the time megan plays into that um but as robin was saying like the straight man also gets jokes too and i also make jokes we are not comedians by any means but we are just funny i'm using it as an example so um and it's like how i've said the glitter and the glue so like the straight man is the glue the uh fool is the glitter can i give a really quick example that people might also understand chandler bing from friends is the straight man who delivers jokes so like it is like a very like any good tv show you can't have a straight man who is in the quote-unquote still old-timey traditional sense of a straight man like it would be like compared to joey chandler

is the straight man joey is the fool but the straight man has to have their own joke so like that's another example very good example and also when i was doing this i thought about it in my head and did not say it out loud so uh with all that being said when the article came out this week the new yorker tweeted out this headline at vulture festival 2023 robin thede explains the success of a black lady sketch show and and then quote on my show we don't believe in straight men which was purely clickbait to make it seem like she was talking about sexuality and not in the comedic sense and robin said first they publish a tweet to make me sound like a man hater then they publish a headline that's meant to publicly out me as a joke what did i do to y'all

except teach an amazing comedy writing class for free the new yorker kept the post up but then reposted robin and said we realized that our text and headliner miss headline was were misleading the post has been updated and now the article is tired is titled robin theedy believes everyone should get jokes what the fuck i want you to know that when i first read this i and this is when i was like Megan we need to have you need to have a come to terms moment with your um issues with reading and learning I kept going why the fuck is Robin Thicke talking about this and I was like this makes I was like this is so offensive like what do you mean I was like what the fuck I was like why would they have him speak and I was just like I was so livid for the wrong thing and I was

like most i read so much i was getting even more heated and i was like first of all i was like why are people defending robin thick here like okay what and i lit when i tell you i opened the article photo barely starts to load and i went oh we done we have done goofed girl those letters got mixed up those letters got mixed up in my brain and i was like this made because i was like why because it literally said like quinta brunson i go robin thick was on black lady's sketch show i was like yeah write an expose on this like tell me about like this is fucked up I was just so heated for all the wrong reasons but it did kept me amped up for when I read it and then I was like no I'm still mad I am just now actually pivoting to be mad about the right thing so I think that like

she gave him a lot of grace like the writer a lot of grace of being like for me I was like this man should this person should be fired because like I genuinely I'm like I don't think you under i don't even that i think you're being uh purposefully willing like willfully up to like obtuse and like trying to be clickbaity i think your editor was trying to be clickbaity i think you are the wrong fucking reporter to send this because i don't think you i think you half-assed your goddamn fucking job which then put her in a really fucking shitty position and then your editor cleared it like i think you are an idiot which i think is an offense of its own and i do not think you should be allowed to do that anything i think you should like give the biggest apology

in the world to being like hi i'm a stupid dumb idiot it's like so fucking embarrassing i really think that like he wrote that he really thought he did something with it too he was like yes this is it this yeah and it's like my clicks i'm like where do you live like do you live in los angeles like do you write entertainment because that is like actually fucking entertainment because that's what his title is oh my god jason frank is a writer for vulture who covers comedy theater music and queer life so take that as you will jason jason what can i expect someone named jason well your turn so i co-sign everything you said about the uh biden administration i also say that i do think

that as a world and a society I think maybe we could all use whoever writes whoever the company that does the blank for dummies book I think that they should issue how to write a headline for dummies and I do think it should be required for every media publication to take that and maybe we get a little plug in our computers before we make a headline because I think like overarchingly it's it's been a bad it's been a bad month for for headlines this is not a bad month for headlines for what I'm about to read to you this might be this is a headline that I saw that I went no way and I clicked it and that headline said to me yes way this is from well this is from such a fucking small ass I can't even I don't even know what website this is I vetted it somewhere else

It's something, some news website. What is it, though? Raleigh Breaking News. This is local Raleigh news. And to this, I say thank you to all the subreddits that I follow that share with me these crazy headlines. This headline says it's an NBC affiliate. So a local NBC station.

This headline says grins and glocks. Wake Forest orthodontist offers free guns with Invisalign treatment. What? Exactly. And... Honestly, I don't even need to read further. That's the goddamn fucking story. But here, here's the thing.

So as part of promotion, Gladwell Orthodontics and Youngville Gun Club and Range are giving certain customers their pick between a silver membership at the Youngville Gun Club and Range or a free Glock 19, which retails for more than $500. So they taught the news,

the publication talked to the attorneys and federal agencies about the legality of such a deal because they were like, high key concerning. and the Gastonia say a local attorney said that this is not the first time he has heard of a promotion such as this one the concern here is that we're not having firearms transferred to folks who do not qualify to possess them possess them this could be folks with criminal histories mental health issues drug and alcohol abuse issues restraining orders against them or in the case of a handgun under the age of 21 that said it is perfectly legal the most important thing that he

says though is to make sure the recipient can legally own the firearm guns like property you can buy and sell and dispose of them but the distinction is guns are potentially inherently dangerous there's regulations surrounding the transfer of firearms and they've got like best practices in all of this and so the spokesperson of the atf which is the alcohol tobacco and firearms explosives said usually these transactions are coordinated through a licensed firearm dealer to ensure the background check is conducted and the recipient can legally possess a firearm in other cases a gift card to a partnering business is handed out so the recipient can work directly with a licensed dealer on the purchase.

Just take in mind, even like saying all of these precautions, just know that like these are still states where people are buying so many fucking guns and not going through all of these checks. Like these are all like at-will checks that they're saying. So now know that they're not even having to do that for this. So the Youngville Gun Club and Range owner

said that customers will need to go into the store to complete a necessary background check to actually receive the gun, allegedly. You know, it's a process. They have to have a driver's license. They have to be a legal citizen. have to be 21 or older. And you know, we do, we'll have to see a background check. And then the owner of Gladwell Orthodontics said that the promotion is actually really only intended for people on

the gun clubs email list. So being like, you know, not everybody who comes in is eligible for the gun. Like you're not going to like see it on like a little advertisement, like inside the office. It's just like, which customers we share, which I would love to know how that conversation went down. Like, how do you know how many customers you share? How did you know this was like a really fruitful and good idea for a collaboration and also does invisalign corporate know about this shit because right you said invisalign specifically like not clear aligners invisalign that is a brand and uh the promotion is non-transferable the person who actually gets started with the treatment has to actually be the eligible person and you can also get uh you get free lane time

at the range and other miscellaneous discounts and merchandise gladwell said the promotion got more attention than expected having done partnerships with other local businesses in the past and we would love if people could pay more attention to some of our other charitable donations and campaigns last month we did $50 for every patient that got started to the Mitchell 10 penny fund to support cancer and families affected by cancer I gotta say it is a little crazy that you're offering a $500 gun and then you're like but we gave $50 to cancer huh but and how is it that these things are in the same category to even begin with and you're like local business this is the same this is the same it goes well are you going to collaborate

with a like uh victims of family who've been killed by gun violence like don't worry we gave them 50 and then we gave the rest of them glocks so oh here we go this is a new note that was added recently because i saved this for weeks align technology the makers of invisalign brand clear aligners recently learned of a customer's promotional and advertising that offers a free handgun or gun range membership to qualified new patients to begin invisalign treatments Invisalign trained doctors our independent practice and Align was not involved

in the development or approval of this promotion and only learned after the fact oh okay after 25 years Align has been helping doctors transform smiles and change lives

through healthy beautiful smiles using Invisalign aligners and the promotion does not reflect our brand purpose so you can't stop them so yeah I think this is like one of the most ridiculous things ever

and also North Carolina does have has minimal like I think the most minimum gun laws of having any gun laws like

they are so might be up against them but yeah yeah but they're so they're so minimal that like when you have things like this when you have such lax culture around guns and specifically like i have a huge i may have an issue with this in general i have a huge fucking issue with the association of glocks glocks and music glocks and rap songs glocks in the terms of like culture and content that young people are consuming and you know the same people young people who are getting their fucking teeth fixed like the age range of people who are getting in like who are getting like orthodontics work adults are getting it we know i absolutely fucking stan adults with braces but like most of them are

tend to be young and so this is like a very fucked up correlation with this that's like being like hey come for your pediatric checkup and we're gonna give you a bottle of smirnoff like here you go like this is something this is this is oh and it's like no uh-uh uh-uh especially because 21 is your brain's not even fully developed here yeah i've heard of the complete opposite where like you turn in a gun and then get a service and so i was like did they just mess when you were saying that did they just mess up like a headline like turn in your gun and get a teeth clean but no but also how bad is your fucking business that you need to get people you need to get people in because they want guns it's truly scary you must be doing some bad fucking

shit there that's i think you must be doing bad fucking business but also like the gun people like they just have all these guns sitting around where they can just give them away yeah so that's i'm pretty sure the one that they're talking about is that one gun that is like the cheapest one that is like taking over everywhere and the manufacturer of it it was based on um there's an episode of brook is it brooklyn 99 where they go to no scandal there's an episode of scandal where they go to like a gun convention kind of thing because there's just one gun that is popping up everywhere that's based on like there's now just a very affordable it's a glock was it a smith and wesson i don't remember the brand of it but like it is

something like that and so it's just become like they're in such high demand because they fly off they're so fucking cheap that people buy so many of them and they resell them and like the average age of people caught with them is like very fucking young and so the manufacturers of these guns make far more than any any other kind of thing so then like they've got all this fucking excess and i'm sure they can actually write it off once they donate them it's true yikes all right yeah they suck yeah and like creatively i'm like what a weird creative way like you could to put the thought into this like you could do a lot better things and i'm sure if you put like this much thought and scam and like energy you would actually be a lot better at orthodontics

because orthodontists make a lot of money like you don't need to run promotions like this start a hobby like get into event planning like do something else like you seem to like love working with the community like join an adult fraternity oh all right that's the end of the episode we hope you all enjoyed if you did leave us a review unfortunately our reviews do not come with a free clock um but they come with our endless love and adoration they come with our smiles do you ever have braces nope do you ever need them nope nice i never had them but um you got a small jaw yeah just a little wonky you got a wonky jaw but they're straight they're relatively straight

the only ones that aren't really i've got gaps in the back but like from the front they're not that bad so um we hope you all enjoyed don't forget to vote for who you think was wrong in each segment in on our instagram stories those will be up depending on when melissa posts this episode just keep checking back it's a holiday weekend check the instagram see see if we see if we post it it'll be up before the weekend because we're gonna be recording on monday that is true and always you can send us a dm or a message on instagram anything like that if you have something you want us to talk about you can tag us in it and yeah i think that's it join our patreon love us forever tell us how pretty we are tell us how cool we are and hope you have a happy

weekend holiday if you're celebrating any holidays or if it's your birthday happy birthday to anyone whose birthday it is right now happy indigenous day yeah we'll circle back next time but am i wrong is a production by me megan ranks and me melissa demont plus diamond imprint productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz and production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, you can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway, you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display.

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