Don't Blame Me! - Bizarre Love Triangle

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

This week, Meghan and Melisa give advice on a friend who retaliates and another friend who accuses the listener of picking fights. The duo also discuss the heat wave, paying to live above a mall, and book author collabs. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Subscribe to But Am I Watching? Apple  Spotify Subscribe to Don’t Blame Me! Apple Spotify Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) DBM Submission Form Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Don't Blame Me, where we give you, God, I have to say, it's some amazing advice. It really is. It's an interesting episode. Yeah, you guys have lives right now, two of the lives that you're living, stressing me the fuck out. Me too, and scaring me too. A little bit. Yeah, we've got toxic friends and juries out on who's more toxic. One I'm a little more afraid of in an acute way.

Yeah, one is fear as in I don't. want to open my mouth around them. And the other one is like, are you trying to fuck me and my boyfriend? Yes. The other is like, what's the situation going on? What are these feelings so sudden and new? So it's a lot to work through. We also talk about the heat wave that is barreling through Los Angeles right now. And I'm sure other parts of the country. Oh yeah. Definitely other parts of the country. We talk about living above a mall. would you do it? How much did you pay to live above them all? I would for $3,000.

Fair. Fair game. We also discuss sinkholes. Who doesn't love a good sinkhole? And guess what celebrity the sinkhole is happening to? And speaking of celebrities, we have some of the most iconic collabs that I share with Melissa. Turns out Melissa shares a new one with me. They're both different type of collabs as far as the people, but it's the same kind of collab. Yeah, the energy is iconic, some would say.

And oddly fitting. All right. And like she said, I'm Melissa. That's Megan. This is don't blame me. How do people participate? If you want to call in, you can leave us a voice from out 3106994-0976. International listeners, you can send us an audio message to Megan Podcasts, gmail.com.

Or if you're not feeling chatty, you can just type out what you want to say, send us that email. Or better yet, use the form that's listed in the show notes. And we love giving advice, so write in. And don't worry, it is all anonymous. We're not going to air you out. Unless you want us to. Oh, and then we'd be happy to. All right. And also remember, you can participate by giving your own advice to people or updating us as well. Mm-hmm. All right. Shall we get into it? Let's do it. I'm 27 She-Heart, and I feel trapped in a friendship because I'm genuinely scared of what's this person might do if I end it. My friend is 28, she, she, they, and we've known each other since

college. Over the years, I've watched her get fired from almost every job she's had for things like fighting with managers, constantly being late, showing up hungover, or just being disrespectful. But somehow, according to her, none of it is ever her fault. Every boss is jealous, every co-worker is sabotaging her, and everyone is supposedly out to get her. She just got fired again and called me furious. Her boss is around 30, recently married, and posts a lot of her personal life online. My... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I get why you're scared. I get why you're scared. Holy. By the way, I'm also like, you really should have jumped ship long ago.

Well, that's what they're scared of. Yeah. My friend told me she's been saving screenshots of her boss partying, drinking, and wearing revealing outfits because she wants to anonymously send them to their clients and ruin her reputation. She literally said, if she wants to mess with my money, I can mess with hers. And suddenly, All I could think was, what happens when she gets found at me? She has years of pictures, videos, screenshots, and embarrassing stories when we're younger. We partied together in college, and there are definitely things I wouldn't want sent to my employer now. She's a history of exposing people when friendships or relationships end. She'll share private screenshots, tell mutual friends their secrets, and postings online to embarrass them. I don't want this energy in my life anymore, but I'm finally building a serious career, and I'm terrified that ending the friendship could make me her next target.

How do I safely distance myself from someone when I'm scared he'll punish me for leaving? You have to start collecting your own intel. And you need to steal her phone. Yeah. You got to steal the phone. You got to delete any, you know, like, I don't know if you have an iPhone, but you can immediately type in your name. All your pictures will pop up. Delete then.

Go into the recently delete it. Delete all that. And then make everything on your, if you want to make it so you're just slow ghosting, make everything on your socials. Restrict it. So she, you're not actually, she's not. unfollowing you, but she can't actually get to anything really that you don't want her to see. Yeah, and I wouldn't worry as much like employment-wise. I don't think your boss is going to care that you got drunk in college. Like, that's whatever. But like, she doesn't seem like,

the most, like, lovely, even-tempered kind of person. So, like, I'm assuming that, like, you essentially just have to have, you need the files to match. You need. You need. her dirt on you to match the dirt you have on her. So like if she releases yours, it's like one of those things. Like if you kill me, a bomb will go off. But I don't think she cares that much because she's getting fired from jobs all the time. So like she's going to lose her job at some point. Well, that's a good point. Because like, why also does she have this much power that like, and she can like tell your friends and like she has enough of this like social credit that people are like, oh yeah, this person is valid. And by the way, her sharing these like private screen

odds is like that says nothing about her and her character like I don't know how she still like has this much clout in your in your group but also like as far as the her boss goes it's this not a public profile does she follow her boss which is odd in the boss shouldn't let that happen anyway but if this is things that she's just posting on her social media anybody can find that that's very true. So in my mind, I've decided that this, she got fired from being, like, a real estate agent or whatever. And, like, that's also very, like, real estate agents, like, are fun.

Yeah. Like, that's the- Like, as long as you got a license, you can just go do what you want to do. Like, yeah. So your friend is, and I'm sure you know this, your friend is not well. Like, your friend is, this is not, she is not well. And, like, you, I don't want to scare.

You do have every right to be afraid that she will, she will do this to you. But that is no reason to like maintain the friendship. You can say something along the lines, like, which I would probably do. It'd be like, if she's telling you that she's going to do that, be like, I think that's like really way too far. Like I think that's like really mean. And like, I just like can't imagine ever doing that to someone. And then you can even be like,

imagine I had all these screenshots of you. And like, I just was saving that. And then I just like share all that of you. you like oh my gosh even if we stopped being friends like to disgrace like the friendship that we've had like and you say like you could fuck me over so bad and like I would never release those of you and like this person is an awful person this isn't you I really want to gauge what she's saying and then like if she's like well I don't give a fuck and then be like you're not well and then now I'm actually going to make up lies about you and tell everyone I just feel like it's like one of those people where you just like they're not not your friending

anymore. Like they're just like on the peripheral. Because you have quote unquote friends that like you aren't as close to. So it could be just like a natural where it's not really natural on your part. You're forcing it. But just it seems like a natural drift apart. Yeah. You just need to not be the person that she decides to like tell about these horrible things that she's planning on doing. Because that's not good for your psyche and also doesn't necessarily make you complicit. But I think like psychologically it might make you feel like you should intervene. Not that I don't think you can. There's nothing to do.

But like it does make you feel like you've been giving an information that you should do something with. But yeah, this is like to like keep dirt on people. Like that's crazy. She keeps a file in every day she meets. Well, that's like when you talk like when people talk about that like I forget who it was. Oh, it's like a miss teen USA or something. Someone won and like within like 30 minutes of her winning. Like all of the stuff about her was like,

posted like online and everybody's like, oh my God, people hold on to this stuff just for that last moment. And this one was when everyone's like, no, everyone knew this. I just, for some reason, because like it was known in the circles. It had been sent to them before. But like now she was enough of a name that you could post it publicly that they would have to do something about it. They knew the information. They just like didn't care until everybody knew the information. So I this is one of those things that like I think that retaliation of it and that weaponizing of it, it feels like she's never had that done to her. So she feels,

she feels very, very big, big tough and strong and untouchable. Like, and like you said, like, she's probably, like,

on her sake, like she's not posting anything online. She's not doing anything. She's probably living absolutely paranoid because she thinks everyone would do what she's doing. Or not paranoid, but she thinks,

like, she's like, I'm smarter than everybody else because they're not, because I'm not posting my own stuff. They're stupid. They're posting things that can get out there. God,

I would hate this fucking person. I'd be like, you're, you're not well. Get well soon. I'm out. I'm out. You can't be out. You can't be out. No, I would just get intel on her and then psychologically manipulate her. So to be like, or even pretend that I had something on her that I didn't have. Call my bluff.

Call it. Call it. And this person would. That's the thing. It's like, I just don't think there's any getting at. There's nothing that you can do that's going to like make her a shame. She's constant. She's showing.

up to work drunk. Like she doesn't care. Like she's coming to work and she's like, whatever. Everybody's just jealous of me. This is the kind of person that doesn't care what anybody else does to them or because they're like, they're just jealous of me. She needs like an international boyfriend or like somewhere where she like moves far away and then you guys don't talk. So like she can like have a new group of new group of victims that she does this to and like you're not on the forefront of like the circulation. But, um, this stresses me out for you. I really wish we had like more comforting things to say. But this lady is like, they're not well. I'm serious. Still her phone. I'm so serious about that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Get into that cloud.

Mm-hmm. Do it when she's drunk. Yeah. It would be very, it seems like it would be easy. Yeah. Yeah. She puts her phone down somewhere, pick it up, excuse yourself for a moment, go wherever, and then make sure that you put on flight mode. Okay, why? Because then she can't do like a fine-mai. Oh, oh, oh. Do that. And, uh, yeah.

And then like, like you said, like breadcrum until you're at a distant relationship friendship that she. Mm-hmm. And don't do anything stupid in front of her. No. And delete shit because if she like likes you and like she hasn't been like trying to keep a file on you necessarily, but like it's stuff that like has already been up or whatever, like delete anything that you're like.

not confident. Mm-hmm. But God, this is an exhausting, quote-unquote, friend to have. I bet they were fun at one point. I bet they were really fun. And then it turns out like, uh-oh, this is a fun that you can use your powers. It's always funny when it's like, oh, we're using this against a guy that someone, like, fucked over someone or whatever. But then it was like, oh, you don't have like a barometer of like a threshold of a kind of person that, like, receives this version of you.

Like, this version of you is for, like, anyone who you feel deserves it. and like, your gauge on who is deserving of this behavior is, like, completely askew. Yikes. Yeah. How was your week been? Fucking hot. I know that people don't like to hear about the weather, but, like, sorry, guys, we're having, we're living in unprecedented times. And my entire life living in California.

Born and raised. I've never lived anywhere else. It has never rained in the summer, ever. And so the idea that yesterday, I looked it up, the humid, it was 107 degrees, and then I looked up the humidity, because when I stepped outside, it suddenly got hard to breathe. I was like, oh, it's like, it's too hot to breathe. And I looked up because you're just to look at humidity and specifically the dew point. And with the humidity and the dew point, it was considered in, in professional meteorologist terms, oppressively humid. And that's the final tier, is oppressive.

And I was like, okay, okay. That's actually exactly what I'm feeling. It's oppressing my lungs from being able to breathe fully. So I just turned back inside. I haven't been going outside, obviously, unless I'm doing a little drive around the neighborhood. Yeah, it hasn't really been affecting me in the same way because you take like your daily walks. I don't. If you get a Pokemon go, you'll be, you'll be.

be having to do those walks because that's that's I literally took a walk yesterday. Who said anything about me getting on Pokemon Go? I'm just saying that it's not the drive of me being like I got a walk. Yes, it is my daily walks. But like if it was 100, it was 95 degrees by the time I walked yesterday. If I wasn't playing Pokemon Go, I would have sat my ass inside. But I said, I got to go spin those pokie stops. Great motivation. Question work. I've been inside for the most part, but it did. I really enjoyed the sleep that I got with the thunder and the rain. Beautiful sleep. Wonderful sleep.

But last night was when it really got to me as far as, like, my breathing. I was breathing. Actually, I've been breathing perfectly fine. I've been breathing out my nostrils ever since I've got bronchitis. Since the initial, like, first week, I've been able to breathe out both my nostrils. Those are unprecedented times for me. It cleared you out. Yeah.

And so that's been great. But then last night I woke up coughing. I was like, what's going on? Because I haven't woke up coughing in weeks. So that's the only thing that's really affected me. But I also don't go outside. I wouldn't recommend it right now. Yeah.

I thought I was, like, touching up my hair this morning. I should have left it the fuck alone. Like, I should realize that the reason why my hair is like this is because I washed it and then had to go outside in the humidity. And so, like, I, I'm, there's nothing I can fix. Like, this is what it looks like. You just have to stick with humidity here. Yes.

I then have to wash it again and then plan for that. So, but yeah, what else I do this weekend? I, I finished my book last night and I read a lot of my book this weekend. Which book? Atmphere by Taylor Jenkins Read. She wrote The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which is on my list. I haven't read that one yet. And she also did Daisy Jones in the Six.

and a couple of other ones. She's, like, crushing it. And as soon as I finished the book, after sobbing hysterically, I was like, she has to have worked in film at some point. Because, like, this is, of course, these are getting adapted. Like, this is in a way that she's writing it that, like, I can see it. And it feels like movie beats, not just, like, book beats. Like, it feels also very tight.

Like, I don't know what they would get rid of in the script that would, like, change how you feel. But like, it's just, it's written in a way that feels like really designed for that. She did use to work in film. And I was like, and that makes total sense. And I want this one adapted so bad. But this is her, I think one of her more recent ones that came out in 2025. But phenomenal.

I loved it. It's about an astronaut. I love space, you know. I love space, but I don't like crying. So. I only cried at the end. And it was the descriptor I gave where I asked people, I'm like, I don't want a book that's going to make me like want to jump off a bridge in a bad. way. Like, wanting to jump off a bridge in a good way is like, oh my God, I don't want this thing to be

over. Like, I'm overcome with emotion, but it's like positive, like, net positive. Jumping off a bridge in a bad way is like, I want my life back. Like, why would you do this to me? I want to un-seating. Yeah, I want to unread this. Like, I want to go back to who I was before I knew this. And this one was definitely more of like a one of like, oh, I'm so glad I read this. I wish I could read this all over. Like, I wish I could experience all this over again for the first time. So I enjoyed it And now I have to start my next book And decide which one it's going to be

And I kind of want to like Do one that I think is going to be like kind of shitty So then I You'll be in a better place for the next one Yes Because I don't want to read Queen Charlotte next And be like well it's not atmosphere Because they're so different

So I'm like I'm just going to like sandwich Like one that I don't think I'm going to like as much in between So then I'm going to be so happy when I'm reading Queen Charlotte Mm-hmm Just like my logic. What did you get up to this weekend? I went out in Santa Monica. Santa Monica?

Santa Monica. Never heard it with a tea in there. Yep. I did it on purpose just for you. Yep. I was like, I don't know what that is. Santa Claus. It's cousin. So, yeah, went out and walked around. I went to meet M-E-A-T. restaurant. You froze. You went to meet who? No, it's the name of the restaurant. M-E-A-T. Meat.

Oh, okay. What did you eat? I was like, I'm only under my seat. Who'd you eat off with? Yeah, I went to meet. I had some meat state. Is this like a Brazilian steakhouse style? No. Oh, okay. They just bring it to your table. Okay. Yeah, it was good. Then I had ice cream. What kind? Yes. The ice cream flavor or the shop? The flavor. I actually don't know that I know what your ice cream flavor. It's not my normal.

My normal would be like a rocky road or anything with nuts. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. So you went, did you get like a sorbet? No. Lavender vanilla. Gross.

Never. That's what I think that's nasty. Salted caramel. No. I don't like things salted. You know that. Well, you were saying like it's not what you normally would get. So I like wondered if it was being held it.

Something I like. Okay. I didn't know. Maybe you were being held at gunpoint. Maybe that was the next storyline. Um, something you would still like. Is it fruity? No.

Was it just chocolate? There was chocolate in there. Okay. Neapolitan. Nope. Do they still make that? I mean, you can just get chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry together. Actually, let me narrow it down.

Where'd you get ice cream? Just some random shop. It wasn't a... Oh, cookies and cream. No. Okay. Just tell me. What was it?

Dubai chocolate. I should. By the way, when you're like, it's not what I normally would have got, that, that line threw me off. Because, like, you are a Dubai chocolate. Every time I see Dubai chocolate, never got Dubai chocolate. I go, that flavor ice cream before. No, but you're, that, that flavor. Like, you are a Dubai chocolate girl. And now when Mod sees Dubai chocolate, he goes, got to send a picture to Melissa. That's so good. It's Melissa's Fave. Yeah. It is. I believe you. I believe it's good. I love, I love a nut paste. I love nuts. I love nut paste. I love nuts. I love nut paste. I I love ice cream. I love chocolate. I love pistachios. Mm-hmm. Fancy nuts. Mm-hmm. I love the crunch you get with it. That sounds great. Oh, I love that for you. Was it good? Wonderful, delicious. Spectacular. Maybe you should move to the Americana, because they advertise that they have, by the way, I'm sorry, I saw what they're selling.

A fucking, they call it a penhouse. It's a lie. It's a goddamn apartment. It is a shitty apartment in L.A. It looks like a mid-tier, like, Palazzo apartment, mid-city. Like, it is not a level. Like, it is not, like, gorgeous. You haven't seen hacks, but there's a point where she moves into the Maracotta. And she loves it because she's like, I forgot my makeup. I can just go downstairs and get this. Like, she literally lives right above the Sephora.

She's like, I'm hungry. Let me just go out. Let me go get my coffee. I bet you that that's the exact unit that they're fucking selling because they used it for filming. And I was like, there's no way anyone is paying this. I want you to guess. So if anyone doesn't know, the Americana is a mall. It is a Rick Caruso production, which Rick Caruso is a man who tried to be our mayor and the only thing he knows how to do.

And I will give him this. He makes beautiful malls. But he also has a, he wants to be like Captain America. He wants to be Iron Man. Like, he also really wants to be famous. So, like, he started like Caruso collection, which is like, you can be. be a subscriber to the mall. What the fuck does that mean?

Nobody knows. You get like perks, quote unquote, which is nothing. And he also, when you go to the mall and you buy things, then it go, you get credits towards other things for you just to buy stuff at the mall again. It's, and it's like 5%. It's not even a big deal. No. And it's objectively crazy.

And I'm pretty sure you have to pay to be a Caruso. Yes, you do. Like select member. And he also like famously charges you for, most places give you a grace period. if you go to their parking structure and you can't find a parking spot and then you just like leave. He does not do that. Like you look around for 15 minutes, you're paying $5. Like there is no other way around it. He is, but he makes beautiful malls. But so this specific mall, and one of his things about malls is he's like, what if we just put apartments over these malls?

And like, he just like keeps doing it. And it is kind of like a like a Los Angeles legend because like nobody knows anyone. personally who's like ever lived there or above them you've never see people going in and out in that way. And so one of them is for sale at 558 Caruso Avenue. Yeah, I really told you, he's really trying to be Iron Man, Tony Stark. It is a two bed, two and a half bath. I want you to guess how much it goes for. By the way, they first start to show you pictures of like the lobby. And I go, well, that is not, that's not what it looks like. Like that's not like the kitchen that they have that they show is the communal kitchen and then they show this is the kitchen so again yeah i've seen all this because it is literally in hacks that is yeah this is probably the exact one yeah so i

looked it up after it was on hacked i looked up because it was just for rent now i guess they weren't renting them so they're trying to sell them out doesn't make sense they're just for rent and at that time i think it was 1050 a month yeah okay so this is um 2 million 600 thousand. Okay. And it is like 2,000 square fee. Like this is more, I cannot stress to you guys, this is more expensive than a home. This is, and you have to pay an HOA fee. And you have to live there. And also, you have to pay to park. I'm 99% sure. Yeah, but you don't even get like, let's say you went to like, because like the Reds and Four Seasons and the Oriental, like they have residents. Mm-hmm. And you get a lot.

lot of great amenities with that, like house cleaning and you get access to the pool and the spas. They have none of this at this place. So I'd rather go to one of those places. Also, don't you get a discount when you travel to other wriths too? And you get all the benefits that if you were staying at the hotel, you get all those same benefits. So do you don't even get these benefits if you go to the fucking Grove? Like this is like, it is just objectively stupid. And people still to this day are like, L'Azangels to be better if he was, if he was our mayor. And I go, you have, like, be serious. No. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Like, Rick Caruso should not, and like, the only thing, the only other defining characteristic about him is he,

like, loves Frank Sinatra and Christmas, which like, relatable. I get it, dude. Me too. But I actually don't need a man who has an affinity for fountains, Frank Sinatra and December 25th and the time leading up to it. I don't need him to be like, what if he just like did the whole city? What? No, thanks. No. No. Oh, yeah, he did. Take me.

Maybe. And also, fun fact, for anyone who else who doesn't know, his yacht is the one that Olivia Jade was snatched off of when her parents got arrested. They had to dock the yacht because she sprunded his daughter. They had to dock the yacht. And then he had to be like, this is your stop, sweetheart. Your parents, go to jail. Get off the boat.

I completely forgot about that, but immediately jogged my memory when you said it. Yep, yep. I'll never forget because he, he, like, gave his daughter, like, a storefront at the Grove for, like, a swimsuit or, like, athleisure brand or whatever. And I was like, that name looks familiar. Like, once the story came out. And I was like, my gosh, that's, that's her. That's her. That's the friend.

Oh, and I want to note that the listing for this, the real estate agent, it is the only post that she has where the comments are turned off because it has got thousands of shares. And it was like, the comments were not good, I'm sure. I was desperately trying to learn how to read an ultrasound from Google to figure out how to do this, to read my own. And my God, that shit is so fucking confusing. Like, I don't know how they see what they see. Why don't you just wait to your doctor walk through it with you? What?

Why didn't you just wait for your doctor to walk through it with you? Well, because someone from my doctor's office called me after they left a cryptic voicemail, being like, please call us back. We need to talk about your scans. And I was like, fucking hell. I logged onto my my chart and I see that like it's not like bad, but it's definitely worse than it was the last time I got these scans. Like there's new things there. Like it's not it has gotten worse since the last time I did this, which I was like, well, that's not good because I've been on birth control. So like, it really should not have gotten worse. Um, and so I'm like, fuck, I call on hold for over an hour. And when I finally got at one point they hung up on me and I had to start over and I was like, oh no. It was, it was an accident. They just. It was an accident. They just. it's a call drop. And when I finally get through, they were like, oh, we were just calling to let you know that the scans all look great. And I was like, oh, my God, what a huge relief I've been here spiraling for over an hour. And then I was like, oh, okay, that's wonderful news. I guess like, I am a little confused about this thing that was there that wasn't there the last time. And she was like, oh, I don't know about that. And I was like, oh, I'm, the doctor hasn't looked at these yet. He'll look at them. But I'm just reading what the radiologist wrote. And I wanted to be like, diva, I don't know. I can read, but the radiologist wrote.

That's on the bottom of the thing. Like, I have that too. You uploaded that to my chart. Like, what? And I think it's just like an, oh. And someone had asked me in one of my DMs being like, why do you think like they were like, I've been finding that like my doctor's office has been like this recently. And I kind of feel like, A, in general, I feel like phone calls happen so fucking often at like,

kind of call. Like that feels like a, that is a phone call, like heavy based practice. But also it feels like an overcorrection for like the autumn. and like AI aspects of just like your emails and all these kinds of things that's like we want to still give you because again it's a it's a vulnerable practice like we want to still give you that like human we want you to make sure you still feel like you're talking to a human and I'm like I can read my chart like that's fine I don't need you to call me and like I do feel like maybe this is why I was on hold for an hour because like you're just you're calling all of these people and like if my doctor

hasn't even looked at this yet and like hasn't compared it because I I was like, oh, well, did they compare it to my last ultrasound? She was like, oh, no, the radiologist doesn't receive that. Like, they just look at it, like, in a vacuum of just, like, it. They don't look at it in, like, regards to necessarily, like, your care. And I was like, okay. Um, I just, not only could this not have been, didn't need to be a call. This truly didn't even need to be an email.

Like, I could have just waited until he saw it. So I'm just, like, waiting now. And also trying to figure out, like, and I think it's probably. this that like I can't be like an exact it is a science but I'm sure like the measuring of them can't be an exact science like that you know every time you get them maybe things look different don't look up how to do things on the internet because people go to school to do this for years no no I mean that like in the sense that like basically the measuring of my uterus and my ovaries are like different but I was like I don't think there's any way that I think that they're approximations every

have. Okay, but like don't think, like, okay, but don't think because you're not a professional. I can't not think. I can't not think when they call with that cryptic, with that, we have to talk to you about those. Yeah, but you're just going to make things worse. I know. Because you don't know you're looking for. No, I do not. But this is also why I think I'm fine with them sending the my chart stuff before they talk to you about it. Like that's, but that's an unpopular opinion. But like, I just think that that's where that you get those results back. I'd rather they take longer and then you look at them and then we talk about it than like they happen quickly but you don't have time to look at them and then I just have a week with them. Right. I agree on that front because you don't know what you're looking at. No. And like I don't know. Sometimes it's like if you're you want to call me and it's so urgent that you call me because like they called me to talk about the scans before they were even uploaded. And then by the time I was on hold they had popped up and I was like you're so on top of that. But like that doesn't do anything. Like that's. does not add any information or knowledge or anything like that. Like if at the end of the thing it says like, what is it?

No significant. Like nothing. Mm-hmm. Normal. Nothing. Whatever. But I'm like, but. Unremarkable.

And I'm like, but I can also read that. So waiting to hear from him, I sent him a message. So we'll see. We will. But from everything I've looked up, all the other stuff, it's like, yeah, we have no idea why any of these things happen. But it's because they don't research anything about women's reproductive. of health and organs.

And I was like, cool, cool, cool. But yeah, they didn't let me see it when they were doing the ultrasound, which I was like, that's the fun part. You don't like seeing it? I didn't think, no, I don't, I've never been an appointment where they've let me see it

while the appointment's happening. Oh, every other one I've been able, I've seen it. And like, they don't, they can't say what they're looking at what it is, but I'm always like, wow, it's very cool. They did it when, also when they did one of,

um, my heart, I was like, that one was fucking cool. Because it's just like moving in shit. Crazy. But we'll see. I have to get that blood test tomorrow, which is one of the ones that you got, right? You got the two? Yeah. So how long did it take you for those results? Well, that didn't take that long. That was like, I feel like it got it done. And then it was like over the weekend. It was like Monday or Tuesday. Okay. So yeah, I'm getting mine on a Friday. So that'll be it. And then, you know, my life's going to be great. And then everything's going to be. figured out and it's going to be wonderful. I'm going to have so much knowledge and information. It's going to be a great time. Oh, do you see Nicholas Cage's house is becoming a sinkhole? No, I did not. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Which, so I love. I'm sure the Hollywood Hills. I'm just a guess. Maybe Studio City. Nick Cage sinkhole. Oh, speaking of Nick, uh, did you see Nicholas

Spark's newest collaborator? I did, but then I put it out my brain. It was Mr. Bees. Was that correct? He's doing weird shit this week, too. By the way, I want to say no, but I can't confidently say that that's also, like, not in the docket. That's not what I'm referencing, but that sounds legitimate. But who was it? M. Night Chalemelon.

Oh, no, I didn't hear about that thing. Mr. Bees is also doing something. I don't know. I hope to Goddie doing with Nicholas Sparks, not M. Night Chamaelon. I really don't need that. That's, like, a double feature horror film. But no, Nicholas Sparks and I'm Night Chalamalan, by the way, buddies didn't know that they were like, buzz and they apparently for years have been wanting to work on something together. And so they wrote a, they came up with a story together. And then Nicholas Sparks wrote the book version. And then Emnichamelon wrote the script and is directing it. It's Phoebe Dinaver and Jake Gyllenhaal. And it's like, they're calling it a like romance horror. Okay.

Okay. So he is working with the novelist, but I just had the wrong novelist. Okay, okay, okay. James Patterson. Oh, of course. That makes so much sense. So much sense. I still don't think James Patterson's a real person. No.

He's three kids in a trench coat. Yeah. I mean, there are authors that once they get to a certain level, they just rent out their name and then let people write underneath it. And they get paid. So good for the other people. Oh, so Nicholas, it's a 30-foot, a sinkhole in the driveway of his Malibu home. It's being swallowed by the earth, which to me, I'm like, Nick, I hope this is sparking some creative juice in you that you're like, it's time for another national treasure.

Well, I hope his, him and his family are safe. Me too. Yeah, everyone had to evacuate. And they keep saying $10.5 million mansion nearly falls into St. Cole. Oh, wow, it's big. For him, that's not that much, actually. No. He's a Nepo baby. Well, and I'm not saying anybody ever deserves this. But like, if you live in California, but you specifically buy a home in California, like, I don't give you transplant kind of courtesy. Like, if you buy a house, like in Palace Verde's, you've got like nine months to like 18 months before it slips into the other. Like you have to know. And you did because like you signed all of the insurance. You've got all of those things. Like if you buy a house that's on stilt over the water, you know that that's a finite amount of time. Yeah, the coast is eroding even more rapidly with El Nino coming in. We're just watching houses fall into the ocean at this point on the coast. Yep. Yeah, you got to get out of there. Or make it float, houseboat.

It's like Tim Gunn, make it float instead of make it work. Make it work. Yeah, no. Yeah, not for me. Not for me. Not for me. Whatsoever. But if you want to.

live out there houseboat but otherwise and actually with el nino come in not smart either no no no that boat is going to run up and be on the PCH because of the way the waves are moving yes and you got to hope you have to have a duck boat the pch is a highway good clarification I'm just letting people know they don't live here that's what I'm saying like it I was being earnest like it is a good clarification because I was about to say then my part wouldn't have made it as much sense like a duck boat that you have in Boston where like wheels you can drive it and then you also can use a swim and then now make it a houseboat a duck or what they have in spy kids listen on Thursday so thrilled so thrilled I can't wait to talk about it all right next one I'm 28 she her and I'm dealing with a friendship

that's gotten toxic story of this episode I don't know if this girl hates me once my boyfriend or both last year I started dating Marcus who's 30 Before we got together, he was already close friends with one of my best friends, Claire, who's 29. That's important because Marcus doesn't want to lose Claire as a friend, so he's constantly trying to stay neutral, and I think that's making everything worse. The second Marcus and I became serious, Claire changed towards me. She started accusing me of abandoning her, picking fights, and saying I'd become controlling. She even told me that she has nightmares about me turning everyone against her. Then she started dragging Marcus into it.

She'll text him privately after we fight, vent to him about me and recently asked him, am I even allowed to talk to you anymore, or does Hannah not let you? I have never told Marcus he can't speak to her. Marcus usually tells me when she says things like that, and he agrees that she crosses boundaries, but also keeps saying he doesn't want to choose sides

because they were friends before we dated. Meanwhile, Claire constantly brings up their old insight jokes and memories and makes comments about how she knew him first. Once right in front of me, she joked that Marcus and I probably never would have met without her. So now I feel like I'm in this bizarre triangle I never agreed to be in. I want to distance myself from Claire, but she's embedded in our entire friend group and Marcus still considers her his friend. How do I remove myself from this friendship when my own boyfriend is standing in the middle, of it. And at what point does Marcus need to stop being neutral? He should have stopped being neutral from the beginning. Well, there's no, like, I would ask him, like, when you say being neutral,

what's her side and what's my side? Like, what, like, if you were going to verbalize what the arguments are, because you're like, I'm staying, I'm, I'm, I'm being completely neutral in this. It's like, well, do you, what parts do you agree with of, like, who and who? Because, like, that to me is, like, is he just like, I don't want to hear about this or like whatever. But like the fact that he's even like, if he really was staying neutral, him telling you the stuff that she's saying, like that's not neutral. I will at first I thought maybe she had feelings for you. But like, that's not necessarily what I'm getting.

But I'm, to me, this is way less of a her thing and way more of a him thing. Because like, he's like, well, I don't want to have to pick between you and her. I don't really don't want to be hard. he picked her then. Yeah. He's actively picking her. He's in a relationship with you. Yes.

Yeah. So like he's like, no, no, I'm not going to be able to pick between the two of you. Well, you're not dating her. Right. What would you pick her for? And I feel like he probably goes to her to vent about you. And that's why she feels so comfortable talking to him. Like you said, they have been friends longer.

They probably have been talking like that about people he's dated before. But this is a different situation where you're also friends. You were friends with her too. She can no longer be that middleman that either one of you should be venting to the other about because she's friends with both of you. Well, and also, like, that is, you guys are, like, 28. I don't know what you're, what the, how serious you view this relationship. But, like, this to me, his, like, I don't, you know, she's my. friend a lot. I'm like, that is like 18 to like 22 year old shit. Like you're 28. Like are you looking to

like be in a long term relationship? Are you looking to settle down? Because like you can't be like, my bros. Like that's the vibe it is giving that it's like, okay, do. It's like the same way that like a lot of people will talk like very explicitly about their sex life with like guys that they're hooking up with or dating when they're young. And then like once you get older like you stop doing that. If you're seriously dating someone because like it's just like this is a person I could end up with. And like I it just it just naturally happens. You just don't feel the need to do that. And like either the relationship is like not that,

it is not that serious for both of you, then like you have to deal with this relationship that he has with her because when he tells you he's not picking between the two of you, he is picking her. He's telling you that he's not going to pick you. And like, do you want to be in that relationship? And if the relationship isn't that serious

and you're like, I'm just having fun, then like decide what level of fun to like what level of frustration, the trade-off is for you. Because to me, this is, like, causing drama in your romantic relationship and then in your friendship. Like, you don't even want to be friends with this girl anymore. And, like, that would probably make your friend group feel a little weird.

And I don't think it matters if she has feelings for him. I think it is imperative for you to know that he has explicitly said, like, he's essentially said he's not picking you. He will pick you to date you, but he will not pick you if that means that he can't be friends with her. He will pick her. Yeah. And so.

That sucks. Like that point blank sucks, but like there is not a way for you to be like, okay, well, I don't want to be friends with her because you being friends with her is not the, it's the problems that she's causing in your relationship. Whether or not your friends with her,

she's going to continue to cause those problems because he's not ending that friendship. Right. It's also her being like, she said that you changed and that you're abandoning her and picking fights and sting. And it's like,

is she going to him saying, like she's not spending enough time with me. Things shipped. I've had friends that I've been friends with both people. They start dating and our relationship has to change because their relationship has changed. And that's fine because that's just what, that's how relationships are supposed to ebb and flow and change. And I'm happy for them that they're together. Mm-hmm.

And she's jealous. It seems like she, I don't know, I don't, she might have feelings for either one. of you. Yeah. She doesn't like that y'all are doing things without her. Maybe she feels left out, but she has a whole friend group. Go talk to the other people in the group. They're also friends with you guys. Yeah. And like this to me is a very weird sentiment for her to hold if like there isn't like an explicit understanding and like a rule in your friend group that you guys don't date each other. Because like if this is like so high school, these are adults. That's like a high school sort of thing. but it's like, but if you have a large group of co-ed, like, friend group, this cannot be the first time that, like, someone has dated. And, like, does she react like that in, in that instance? Because, like, it is to me giving high school, oh, we're a big friend group, but we've all promised each other, we won't date each other. And then someone starts dating someone. And then the other person gets mad because it was like, well, I would have thought if you were going to break those rules, you'd have broken them for me or whatever that is. But, like, it just is a, it is something that. It is something that.

like people harp on when they don't have a as when their life is not as full. But like, I'm assuming this person has a job. Like, I'm assuming they have like other things where I'm like, this is not, this is, this is the end of the world when you're 16. But like, this is not this epic of a thing for her to be having an issue with you and having an issue talking about her issue with you to you and talking about it with him and like he having to like kind of mitigate all of that kind of stuff. Like you guys are way too fucking grown up for this. And like to me, it sounds like you're the only one who's trying to like remove yourself from this immaturity and they are both actively being like no no I'm actually opting in so like this isn't

about how you can rise above it it's like you have to rise above it but you have to know that they are digging their feet in the ground and like is that who you want to date and who you want to be friends with is like the people who are like no no I'm actually perfectly comfortable staying in this spot because this would suck and it's stupid it's very stupid I would just have a sit down and have have a conversation with him about what he wants. Because y'all have been together at least nine months. You said you started dating last year. So at least nine months.

That's a long time to be in a relationship. Have a serious conversation with him. Separately have a serious conversation with her. And if they can't both respect how you're feeling, then I just don't see a way for these relationships to continue. And also he's saying that she's crossing boundaries, but is he not setting boundaries? Is she aware of these boundaries?

No, she's not because she's still acting like how it was before you guys were dating. And then he's going and telling you and then you're getting upset over it. And then he's like, well, I don't want to pick a side. And it's like, you're telling me this shit that like I wouldn't even know if you hadn't conveyed it. And so you obviously, like you said, you think there's an issue with it, but you won't do anything about it. And then you don't want me to have any sort of feelings about it or do anything about it. Like that makes no sense. Like I also kind of wonder if like he just thinks he can have it all.

And if you're like, hey, so I know you said you're not going to pick what? between the two of us. Like, that's totally, like, for sure, like, that's fine. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm no longer going to be friends with her. If you, if, and, like, if you're going to stay friends with her, then, like, I pick, I don't pick this. Like, I pick a different life. I pick a different circumstance and situation. But, like, you can't have me and her because, like, you are, he's also fueling the toxicity of this. Right. And it's, like, that, to me, like, our relationship is hurting because of this and, like, because of your behavior. And, like, regardless of who you're doing this behavior with and the fact that like me having to separate

from a friend like this is just it's a lot and like if you want to work on this we can but like if this is where you want to stay like I'm out bye this is weird and I'm sorry it's so weird I'm really curious what your other friends um they're probably I don't mess I don't really want them to talk to you about it because I don't think you need more fucking people with opinions and all that shit but like I'm really curious what your other friends are saying to the rest of the friend group like If it's a group of seven and these, like, it's you three out. What the other three? Without it, out, we're fucking talking about how weird this is.

Yikes. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. It has been a wonderful episode. Sorry we didn't have that much gossip for you this week, but sometimes you got to lay low because it's too hot and you can't breathe. You got a lay low. Exactly. Exactly. Join us on Thursday where we'll be watching Spy Kids.

And then we'll be back next Monday for another episode of Don't Blame Me. Don't forget to write in for advice that you need. And again, remember we did that one hypothetical? We loved that. If anyone wants to do that again, hit us up. All right. Bye-bye. Deuce is Motherfucker.

This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Ranks. And me, Melissa D. Mons, plus Diamond imprint Productions. Post-production by Cocoa-Lor-Rour. Friends, production assistance by Melanie D. Watson, and music by Ryan Hunter and Jacamo Picasso.