Don't Blame Me! - Boyfriend Feels Entitled to My Body

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

Meghan and Melisa are back together, in person, celebrating their 10th season of Don't Blame Me! The give advice on: Update: Crushing on your grad school cohort Moving in with your boyfriend but feeling behind your other friends that are in relationships Having a strained relationship with your mother Friend keeps dating creeps Boyfriend's touch is overwhelming Don't Blame Them: Wanting your partner to uproot their life because of a work opportunity Subscribe to our new show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-am-i-wrong/id1591757891 Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

your woo didn't make it to the recording oh i didn't know we had a woo girl on i am i taught everybody about woo girls and i just love i mean i didn't i taught my friend group about woo girls so i was like uncultured swine hello hello everyone wow if you are watching it's a monumentous monumental we we are monuments we are in person together for the first time since i don't know i don't remember we don't remember we try we already tried this already we don't but it's very exciting and uh if you're watching the video go for it like just if you're a part of our patreon a dollar a month maybe five dollars if you want to do the live streams but go see the video you can see us in all of our glory together wrapped in my arkansas alumni blanket i was gonna

give i was going to like i first time hit this up i go this is a delta airline blanket but then i saw there is one that was in that little bit okay that makes sense because like none of those blankets are actual blankets that i've ever spent yeah well i pulled it out it was a lot bigger than me airline blanket so i was like i'm not gonna insult this blanket by calling it an airline blanket now that i see that i can wrap my whole body um but yeah i between the couch the blanket and my shirt i am ketchup relish mustard when you first made that joke i thought you were referring to the yellowish tone of your skin okay it was jaundice it's not my fault that i wasn't under the light so i was like i don't see it but it took me until we were we record the update before

we did this and then i saw the full picture yeah it's like okay that makes yeah it really looks like it um and you can also see i'm giving you so much side boob there's a whole episode let me let mine come through yeah so if you want some side boob action join our patreon um also okay yeah what big news i don't know what this big news is everybody huge news welcome to season 10 what the fuck you're kidding no we do 26 episodes a season so now we're on our 10th season oh my god we're gonna get canceled this is this is this is one so we gotta go balls to the wall oh my god six episodes this is our modern family this is how many they do i don't know for some reason i thought they did 10 and then they ended up doing like 10 and a half

family or they only do nine seasons we is like 11 they did 11 yeah so i think everyone thought 10 was the end 10 and then they didn't i say we because i feel like i was part of the family too we were we as modern families biggest fans oh wow wow holy shit what the fuck that's crazy but here we are wow wow well congratulations to all of us thank you all for listening for the song that's wild well anyways um welcome to don't blame me the advice podcast where you give life-changing wonderful absolutely amazing advice and you might be wondering how are you qualified um first of all it's none of your business don't ask questions i sound like a cult just be here just be here just show up listen subscribe and just let it marinate yeah just let

it like seep all over your body let it soak in to all your orifices you know what i wanted to do but i know you hate it oh the mouth noise yeah thank you so much for resisting the urge i really like the urge is so strong i can tell based on like how stiffly you're holding your body you're physically restraining i have to you know move my cheek and i can't do that without my hands and so i'm good thank you holding it down i appreciate it we can pivot from a different subjects you don't have to keep thinking about it i want to do it so i know don't do it okay so we're gonna give advice you call in well you've already called in we have a phone number 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast

at gmail.com and you record your voicemail and then we listen to it on the show and give you advice and the best way for us to give you the best advice is for you to give us the best call and for that we a okay we're not going to do the a b c and d because i'm going to forget we're done i know okay you need to be aged or over have your parents permission and we ask that you write down what you're going to say practice it a couple times you can pull out your timer because you only have three minutes you will be cut off and if you have the most and i just want to say with the three minutes is three minutes from when you start i think people are getting confused it's three minutes from where like the answering machine makes the beep it's not when you hear

megan's voice oh yeah so don't look at the timer that's like on your phone as the call's going because you add about 20 seconds onto that i people always like i'm running out of time we're like no you're not that makes sense okay i get that now i would have probably done the exact same thing um so yeah write it down and then you can practice to make sure your your specific call of you talking is under three minutes and we ask that you include your age if there's other people involved in the story their ages especially if it's relationships how long you've been together all of like that information that will help us give the best advice that will influence the advice that we give um and if you want to let us know your pronouns do it um we also it's totally

anonymous so please don't include your name if you do we're just going to bleep it out but if you want to include some fake names for people that always works well for us to kind of keep track and that's it that's it oh and if you're sensitive let us know just give us a heads up ahead of time because we we give the advice that we would like to see in the world you know sometimes you can't ask your best friend for advice because they're just gonna tell you what you want to hear and we are going to tell you what you need to hear and what we want to hear exactly i'm gonna say what i want to say and you're gonna like you're gonna listen you're gonna like it or you're not gonna like it you're gonna be like the girl who was dating someone in the coma and the twin brother

thing and then never again goodbye where are you but we were we did kind of go in deep think about her a lot i do too i hope she's okay well there's enough you're still listening yeah you don't have to give us an update i just want to know like are you wellness check are you good are you listening i would love an update though oh my god we're all still together i know okay okay anyways um oh we have an update yes we do so take it away okay so um my original call of was that i was asking advice on whether or not i should tell a classmate of mine that i had a crush on them. Um, I am in graduate school. It is a two-year program. So I still have a year left, um, with, but, uh, when the episode came out, um, we were on winter break. Um, so I could

not really do anything, um, because we live in two different States. So I wasn't able to like do anything. And it would just be really weird to like text someone that, um, so, um, I didn't see them for like well over a month um and then when we got back to school um we had seen each other for like a little bit before classes started um and then we were walking back from class one day it was me him and another one of our friends who I told that I had a crush on him before uh we left for winter break um and she was kind of uh stirring the pot so she goes oh hey so before she was like um she asked him about the situationship girl so a part of the original call was that he just gotten out of a situationship with another girl um that he went to undergrad

with and who also goes to the same school as us for grad school but in a different program um and so he goes uh she asked him like oh hey how is uh so-and-so and he goes oh yeah we're together and both of us are like wait what and he was like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah she's my girlfriend and my like again we had seen him for at least a week like we had talked to him like I had at least talked to him over the winter break for a little bit and like he never mentioned this and at first I was like okay but then I was like you know what it's a sign it's a sign that I'm glad I did not embarrass myself and tell this person that I liked him because it would have like backfired in my face. But the story is not in there. So I told another one of my friends

that I had a crush on him and I was like, but he has a girlfriend. However, I think he still flirts with me so being a Leo I feel like everyone is in love with me relatable so uh sometimes I have to tell people around me that like just watch just see because I could be just like I could be making it up in my brain but um you know just just see just see how he interacts with me and let me know if it's flirting or not so uh you know he comes we work very close like we work in the same building um during like our our grad assistantships so he would come almost every day and like eat lunch in like our break room and all that stuff um literally for the whole first semester and kind of half of the second semester of school so we would interact almost every day

and so my friend I told she was like I don't know like I need a little bit more time to see if like what is you know what he's doing what his behavior is because um like he would be adamant on like giving hugs to me which isn't a problem for me because i really like hugs and i liked him so i was like i'm gonna give him a hug he was very adamant on like every time i see you like you're gonna not gonna but like we're we're we're hugging is this the same friend that was stirring the pot with the other guy um yeah oh I like this I do too I like this um and you know we would all he would always like make sure that we like sat next to each other and he would always sit next to me and be close to me and follow a lot of things like that um so one of our cohort members has

a birthday in January um so she decided to host a party at her place um with a lot of alcohol a lot of amounts of alcohol um so this is another friend um I told okay listen I know I said I didn't want a lot of people to know but I told way too many people that it was so relatable I also relate to this she also she also knew that I liked him and she was just like let's see what he does at my party so she has the party and she tells everyone like all of our cohort people like hey bring whoever you want because a lot of our cohort members have like significant others um and so she's like bring whoever you want if you want to bring them go ahead um like more of the merrier uh and his girlfriend decides not to come for whatever reason i don't

know why uh but he was just like oh no she didn't feel like coming so yada yada so he shows up girlfriendless and um we're sitting around uh like playing drinking games or whatever do you know the game piccolo it's like a it's like a phone game it's kind of like heads up really okay i'm familiar with heads up i played i played plenty of these also isn't it piccolo like a flute yeah okay okay like a tiny instrument okay but it's like it tells you it tells you things that you can do and most of it is like naughty things oh it's a drinking game okay um so one of the one of the things was like uh so and so slap my ass basically saying that this asking the person to slap or grab my ass and they go to do it because you know it's a game

we're like playing and the guy who does it uh he's a gay man he's never slapped a woman's ass in his life so he's just like uh like you know just like a soft little tap and the guys that have a crush on he's like well that's not how you do it oh god and we're just like we're all just like okay well you know let's demonstrate let's see how you do it let's see how you do it and so he like full-on just like hits and grabs my ass and then all my friends are staring at me like what the fuck is going on and um yeah after that night my friends were like are y'all it's something i was like no he has a girlfriend and they were like interesting very interesting on how he was uh treating you and you know life was very adamant on smacking your ass i'm provoked

yeah no like it wasn't his turn like yeah it wasn't his turn and he was just like very adamant on needing to make sure everybody knew that he knew how to slap an ass um especially mine the ego um i know and that same night so we lived very close to each other so he brought me home he wasn't drinking because he drove um so he wasn't even drunk when he smacked your ass no no he was sober yeah i mean we all know that he didn't invite his girlfriend right right just FYI you know that now he didn't invite her okay okay okay continue on uh so uh he drove me home from the party and I was like you know he pulled up to my apartment and I was like okay like see you later bye and I like leaned over to like give him like a side hug because I'm in the passenger

seat he's a driver's seat and he literally goes see you later turns his whole head around and just plants a huge kiss on my cheek like and it's like so close to my mouth like because I don't turn my head close to him so I'm just like on the side and he turns his head and just plants one on the side of my face and I was like I was shocked in the moment and I was like okay bye and like rushed out of the car and like unlocked my door went in my door literally called my friend it's like 1 30 in the morning and she just left the party i just left the party i just called her i was like you will never like guess what the fuck just happened in his goddamn car and she was just like what like freaking out so i was telling her the story about it and she was just like

that is so inappropriate for him to do and i was like i i know that i make jokes about being a homewrecker but i really don't want to be like i don't want this to start drama uh with his girlfriend because like I know most people are like oh like probably like fuck the girlfriend like whatever but she actually is a really cool person and I actually kind of like her so that what that's what makes it also difficult for me to like have feelings for him so I was like I actually like his girlfriend and she's actually a really cool person um but yeah it was just very um that was like the big night that my friends were like why is he still acting like this towards you uh when he knows that he is in a committed relationship um and this was in january and

nothing that big has happened since then but it's been like little things of like he still calls me the things like his favorite one to use for me is my queen um he loves using my queen for some reason yeah it's very cringy and like now that i'm like saying it out loud i'm also getting the ick all over again do you mind me asking what his ethnicity is oh he is a white man okay that's what I thought that's exactly what I thought yeah yeah yeah my queen solidified it for me but you know so now like now I'm in a different state for the summer and he's back like he's still in our like school hometown um with his girlfriend they decided to stay there over the summer um

they've been together for six months they seem to be happy I really don't know I stopped asking questions and he stopped like giving me answers about it um and he like doesn't tell me anything because before like he would if they were in a situation ship before they were in a relationship so there was like ups and downs and he would always like talk to me about it and talk to our friends about it and i don't know now he's like he doesn't talk about it at all um like his girlfriend at all to any of us to any of our friends and so i'm just like dodged a bullet on that yeah oh yeah now i'm feeling like the egg yeah do you like the full egg because yeah yeah i can sense it i'm glad that you did not take my advice yeah me fucking too

oh my god yeah because my in case people listening uh didn't hear the original call but my advice was to just go for it yeah and I said don't do it so I literally thought about it I thought about it for a second to be like you know what like why not like at the at that point I didn't know that they were together so I was just like who cares um but then once they got together I was like I can't do that that's just yeah well I mean I think that like I can totally see how like when someone like gives you kind of a door to their relationship where it's like him complaining about her and like confiding in you and your other friends and that stuff like that is like people just you they shouldn't do that in general especially when it's like people you

flirt with because like it basically like is telling someone who you flirt with like oh look there's holes in my relationship but like yeah for a lot of other people that would have been like the the green sign go but you were like wait I really like this girl like she seems really cool and nice and so I like her as a person so I'm not listening and and taking in any negative things you might say about her but um you know when someone then continues to be in a relationship with someone like after they've like flirted with you it like is maybe like at the beginning can be like oh my god this is exciting then after a while it's just icky you're just like I don't even like you anymore because like this is I don't want to be I don't want to date you and

have you do this to like someone else and like this person's really cool that you're dating and like this just it's really easy like when you don't actually act on that stuff like I think a lot of people would avoid being a homewrecker if they waited a month and then they'd get the dick right you know i mean i mean not to be like talk about myself but i've had a lot of guys in relationships try to like date me and i'm like yeah it's flattering at first i'd never do anything you know to that would be considered cheating it but then like when you think about it you're like this is awful because like what if i was with this person they were doing the same thing i would hate that yeah yeah yeah yeah that's definitely how like I I felt I felt that and I was like uh

actually I don't feel comfortable I'm glad I mean I'm glad I'm glad you didn't say anything sometimes there's the people are like why not and sometimes the question is why why should I do this why you know why I'm a hold off until I can know that like I'm saying a sound mind and body and the outcome is gonna be what i want like sometimes if i don't know that i'm gonna get exactly what i want people like you don't know if you don't ask well you know what maybe maybe i won't ask maybe i will wait to find out that i'm gonna get exactly what i want and i think that's a you know especially when it's like a shit where you eat situation you gotta let things like marinate and stew before you act on it but i am glad that it was a two even if you had said

anything i'm glad it's a two-year program not a four-year program because that would have been but yeah also there was a a thing of whether or not I studied and I know I should but I do not I don't study I'm really bad at studying okay but you're smart you're still making like so for me grad school is like it's more of like a pass fail type thing you know like yeah yeah you yeah as long as you try it doesn't also I'm here's I also think grad school a you even if I never find out you graduate you went to grad school that's enough i didn't even finish undergrad like anything any postgraduate degree i'm like automatically you're in a different like a different level so you don't need to study some of us do need to study and also can't do it but

you know if you don't need to don't fucking do it but yeah the drama yeah the drama well i hope that you can have like a fun not situation chip or a situation chip you want someone fun and nice and and not in your program in your program and not with a girlfriend yes yeah yes those are uh those are on on the list the short list of what maybe you find a little summer fling with where you are um i'm actually doing like a little first date thing while i'm here in the summer so yeah i'm trying to go on as many first dates as possible i've only had two which is fine but i still have a couple weeks before i have to like be back so i'm gonna try to sneak in like maybe two or three more wait that's great i love that i do too that's like great yeah oh my god fuck yeah it's been a

fun time oh my god i'm living my best life yeah you truly are loving the mindset absolutely perfect well thank you for giving us the update i am so glad you are not with this guy um and i hope that maybe he hasn't ruined the term my queen for you and i hate it i hate it so much you know maybe the next time the nicknames will be well thank you so much um i hope you enjoyed the rest of your summer and fuck yeah on your next next and final year of grad school fucking crush it amazing thank you so much happy she didn't say anything yeah yeah and then i don't i don't like him no no they're still friends so i'm gonna be you know i mean i she not sweet yeah like there are some things that i had that were cut out oh we're gonna cut that out we have

to okay it might reveal things oh okay i thought you were like it's not bullying no no okay no for her life without a doubt that makes more sense like men for the audience and i was like okay no no yeah yeah but i mean i feel like i feel like if we keep this part in people certain people will know yes the people that know know yeah girls that get it get it did you see that somebody put her words on a billboard shut up yeah and she's has it copyrighted yeah yeah oh that's a fat check uh-huh oh that's a hey Megan and Melissa I'm a big fan of the podcast um I started binging it during COVID and I've wanted to call in for a while um so honestly this feels kind of weird to be doing now

um I'm a female I'm 24 I used to see her pronouns um and my boyfriend in this story he's 23 he uses he him pronouns and we've been together for almost five years now so I just finished my first year teaching in May. And during that year, I lived at home with my parents so I could save money because, you know, I don't make any fucking money as a teacher. And during this time, my boyfriend, because he's a year behind me, was finishing up with college and he was two hours away. And then once he graduated, he moved back home with his parents three hours away to look for jobs. Thank God he finally found a real adult job. He starts in July. And then in August, we will move into our apartment in our new city together.

Because of these life circumstances, we know that we're not ready to get engaged yet. We've talked about marriage, and we know that we want to be married one day. But one, 24 and 23, so pretty fucking young, don't really need to be engaged yet. And two, we both kind of need to, like, you know, get into life and, like, actually make money before we really think about engagement. So, even though I know that I'm not ready to be engaged, he's not ready to be engaged, I can't help but feel pretty shitty when I see other people my age get engaged, especially when I know they haven't been together as long as we have. And even though 24 is still young, I'm only seeing more and more engagements at this point, and it's really causing me to feel kind of inadequate. I know it's not rational, but it just kind of is what it is.

um and so yeah I know that I'm not ready to be engaged but I just can't help but compare myself to these people and compare my relationship um so Megan I'm hoping you can give me some advice here on how to not get so down in the dumps when other couples reach certain milestones faster than you do I know you and Mont have been together for a long ass time you only recently got engaged um so I'd love to know if this was something you struggled with and how you dealt with it so that maybe you just didn't feel like shit every time you saw an engagement um so thank you guys for any help you can give me love you goodbye you need to move to a city in a blue state like that truly like but like that is why you and i like we have such

different experiences with like friends and like engagement and stuff like my i am one of two my best friend is now married which is fucking weird but like oh and i have three friends in total total period period well yeah no but like i have literally three friends my age who are engaged like who are engaged and like we all we literally all got engaged probably like within I don't know a couple months of each other and we've all maybe not time and day the longest but like I don't know I would think we're all relatively similar stuff so like it is it's not it's like a it's a product of like your environment like so so so much and that I want to say that like you know when you see people get married that like you are being completely rational in

a sense that like you haven't lived together yet like of course this is like the right I 100% am backing you that I think like you're making the right choice like you know money and we haven't lived together yet and like we're still really young and despite we've been together for a long time I also think that I think that once you date past 25 the years you date past the age of 25 means a lot more, especially when you're like living together and stuff, because you are coexisting and cohabitating and not just like in college or in high school and kind of like going along life, doing the same thing, just like in the same boat, like just doing that. This is more like, I'm choosing to put my boat and your boat next to each other.

And then we're going to figure this, our life out together and build this life. so that's part because part of me also wants to say that statistically and melissa can back this up statistically if you're seeing a lot of your friends get engaged and get married who are 23 24 years old and also have been dating less than five years they're not going to stay together i uh firsthand experience grew up in arkansas a lot of my friends got engaged or married um as soon as they graduated from college most of them are not together anymore they're a lot of them are on their second marriages and then like the ones that are together aren't happy about it like they they talk about how much they regret it getting married so young they feel like they're

kind of stuck in their marriages and because of their kids and stuff and they wish that they had weighted so i i i think you're doing what's right like it may be tough seeing other people that are you know your peers that are the same age that are doing things i mean fomo is real um but think about uh your own happiness as like as a whole and not just like tunnel vision for what you're seeing right now look big picture because like you're doing what's right for you i mean it could be right for other people but you're doing what's right for you one you're trying to save money to like you your boyfriend has you you y'all have been long distance for a long time you currently live two hours well they live two hours away while you were in school and then now

they live three hours away so you need to go through you know like an adjustment period of what it's like to date like this is a new period of your life what it's like to date when you are not only like close to each other but living in the same house or apartment or wherever you're living and then um just getting to know each other getting to know yourself what it's like not living with your parents is also a big adjustment so just take your time just because you see people that seem like that they're happy doesn't mean they aren't you're just getting a highlight reel of their lives you're on your own journey which i hate that word very bachelor but it's true but it's yeah it's very true like this is you're you're the only person that can live your life

is you and you know i mean you know what's best for you you said that this is what you want to do it's hard to say like don't feel inadequate when you see these other things happening but I think just kind of changed the mindset of like they're they're probably doing what they think makes them happy but it's not what actually is going to make them happy so that's what I was going to say because like you're not only doing the best thing for you but statistically by the textbook by the book a therapist will tell you you're doing the best thing and I think what you're comparing is to is like you're thinking that these people have already gotten past this phase that like financially they're doing way better off like they they have like something's

clicked and they've had something that you don't have that you're like i don't want to where we are now i'm not ready to get engaged but i want but they are so like i that's what you're feeling envious of but they're not at a different point than you they're just not seeing the bigger picture like you are and i do not know and like there are 100 exceptions to the rule but like i don't know anyone who got married young like even if they're happy if you watch aspen and parker on youtube Aspen's one of my good friends Aspen will tell anybody that she like loves her husband more than anything loves her kids more than anything but she was like yeah I wish we had waited longer before we got married and she was like it was just a product of our environment and like how

things go and like also to be fair she waited like the longest of all of her friends and for her that kind of felt like it felt like okay you know what I don't necessarily fit it as shocker if anyone doesn't know aspen doesn't really fit in with the utah kind of tropes and so i don't think most people in utah fit in as far as it goes since we know that there's a lot of swingers yeah truly yeah mom talk all over again but yeah so she but so even that was doing you you you're i don't want to call it your rational brain but like when you look at like you're the legit like the the logistics of the logic of it all even in your own environment that does shrink and expand those timeframes and stuff.

So even going through all of those, like waiting longer to do that, she still says like, I wish we had just kind of like enjoyed dating for a little bit longer and doing that in our adulthood. And that is what happens after you turn 25 is you kind of have that clarity.

And you also will, not that I'm, I don't have a lot of friends who are like married or engaged, but I've seen it happen on like, people I went to college with who I'm not friends with and there was a large influx of people getting married at 24 23 past 25 no one was getting engaged until like 27 28 and so I think that I always talk about how great it is to turn 25 but it really it really is I don't know I mean

I know it's because your brain fully develops but like there is just sense of confidence behind the decisions that you make and like the thoughts that you have and if you can in a not bitchy way look at your friends and don't pity them but recognize like i really and don't say this to them but like if you have to say this to yourself like you can have a petty voice in your head where it's like i really hope their marriage makes it i really hope they make it and if you have to be a little cunty in your head i hope that they're as happy as they seem yep i i hope that this isn't for sure. Like, I hope that this is really how it is. I've met other people who are engaged when they find out Mott's and I are also engaged and have been together for so much longer. And we

don't really want to have a wedding. Like we want to have, we're going to get married, but we don't really want to have like a wedding wedding. And I will, people will tell me about all of this stuff that they're going to do and like their relationship and stuff. And then they'll ask like, oh, how long have you guys been together? And I'm like, how long has it been? Almost like seven years at this point. And they're like, oh wow, we've been together for two and you're not plant and I can tell that because we've been together for so much longer it makes them feel threatened in their relationship and then project can project that but I think if I was younger without and and I was in an area where those were like my friends and my peers and wasn't just these one-off

situations without a doubt that would make me feel insecure but I think if you can surround yourself with people who in general I think it's a great thing to do if you grew up in a town or an area that everyone kind of has like the same upbringing and the same uh backgrounds and point of view to surround yourself with people who have different life experiences than you because that that's going to be the best because find find find some liberals in that city find some find some women who like have like work jobs and like like had to go to like a lot like a lot i guess longer schools i'm gonna say even like the area that i grew it was in arkansas but it's still more liberal part of arkansas most of my friends are liberal and it's still the same thing like

it's still like people oh yeah i i i should have said in like a what do you call like a city that like you you move to like where they're like a like a transplant city yeah like yeah so like like is it still a trap you know like where because walmart and yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah most people that are coming in are moving then yeah that are adults yeah conscious find it be conscious finding people who aren't in that position and yeah also people no one should care about your relationship right the only people that should care is you hey megan and melissa so this calls me very very very scatterbrained and i'm very sorry i didn't i'm calling on a whim. Anyways, so I am 18. I still live at home with my parents, which is kind of what

this call is about. I am still financially dependent because I am going to school. I'm almost done because I'm going to a trade school, so I finished much faster than in traditional college um and I have kind of always had a strained relationship with my mother specifically and in the last like week it's been particularly bad and I'm not exactly sure why um and I just like don't really know what to do because there it's just so stressful and anxiety like give what is the word anxiety giving like living in the same house as her and like having to like work with her on certain things and like whatever and like do helpful things for her like it just is very stressful for me and like it gives me a lot of anxiety because she's just very much one

of those people who I don't know what is going to set her off and what isn't and it's very wishy-washy I definitely don't have the best coping mechanisms when it comes to hurt either so I know I'm partially at fault but I am in therapy and I am working on it and I am getting better but sometimes there's just things that I just explode and it's definitely not healthy and I'm very much aware of it but I just was wondering if you guys could give me any advice on maybe how I can either try and work on my relationship with her or just like learn how to coexist with her in our house until I'm able to move out I think it's kind of what the basis of my call is going to be um there's not really much other details so yeah this is kind of it

this is kind of a crappy call sorry anyway thank you bye really is actually not a crappy call it wasn't to for this not to be written down which you avoided saying but we felt it in our spirit yeah there's a big pause on a whim it was actually pretty good yeah no one else do that no that was an exception to the rule and yeah um i totally do not really sorry um yeah i in case you're new here oh i'm being sarcastic all right so the first thing i'll say um i literally have a whole huge section on my book about this like specifically like how to um like survive and coexist when you have to, because yes, we talk about, and I say this now at like my age of being like a living on my own and being independent, like cut people out, cut people out. But that was not an option

when you're younger. And I understand. So first thing, I'm so glad you're in therapy. Any advice we give you run by your therapist before you do it, because, um, I can come from personal experience and like you know I've also we've also been in therapy but it is really important um that you're how you like behave in your house is um important to your safety physical and emotional and so just please run anything by your therapist before you like take our advice because i mean i think to be fair i hope everyone does that if it's uh if you have questions or it is pertaining to something that is a little bit more precarious like your like living situation um first of all nothing is your fault it's truly not you are 18 you are the kid here no matter

how old you feel it's not your responsibility to um mitigate uh how your parent reacts to you And like what you're describing of like the inconsistency is something I'm sure your therapist has like talked to you about. And your anxious reaction is textbook. Like that is what happens when you can't anticipate how somebody is going to behave and you're like walking on eggshells and you don't know what's going to set them off. you exploding I don't think is a bad thing I think it's just a matter of do you feel better after do you feel I don't want to say do you feel seen and heard because it doesn't sound like that's happening in this relationship but is it more depleting than cathartic because I think that's what's the most important thing in these situations and you can want to try to work on a relationship as much as possible. But I would really urge you to ask yourself, and I mean this in the least cunty way possible, if your mom wants that, and if she is open to that, or would you be

having to do 99% of the legwork? Because that's not fair to you. And it's also not going to have the outcome that you want. And it's just not going to be successful. So my immediate, very biased advice so take that in is that yeah you learn how to coexist and how to coexist I again I get very much more into depth in the book about it but when you can't anticipate how somebody is going to react to things like I find it was a lot easier for me to consciously choose how I was going to behave before the situation started. So I didn't feel like I was being as controlled as much or I was being as like reacting to what someone else was doing to me. And so I think that you spend as much time out of the house as possible and paying attention to patterns and then also knowing

and recognizing when they're trying to get a ride out of you and trying to get a reaction out of you And the thing that I found the best for me personally, which might not be the best for you is, um, I was just no reaction. Like there at a certain point, it can be too emotionally taxing to kind of try and, you know, take the good with the, like the, the, the, those like small moments that it seems like things could be good or whatever can be way more damaging when like the rug is ripped out from underneath you. So my thing was to spend as much time out of the house as you can. And doing a lot of your thing, like things on your own, and whether that's like coming up with your own chore list before things get done, headphones in, and just not really engaging to to the not really engaging in things that made me feel like, weirdly, it made me feel like I had more of a role in

this relationship and i was had more of like i was in the driver's seat with that where when you kind of know how you're going to behave regardless of what someone else says or does it can take a little bit of the power away yeah what do you think that's good advice i mean my mom gets on my nerves but not in the same way um but i i used to argue with her a lot like yeah i think both yeah we both said this yeah like like so much so that i would get like well i'm black so i don't get red in the face but like if i like so much so steam out your ears yeah as the expression goes that i get red in the face my voice would get hoarse and um it took me like talking about it in therapy and then coming up with a game plan on how to deal with things and there are certain

things that aren't where i feel like it's i think like having any type of relationship there's compromise when it comes because no one thinks exactly alike except for us and we're very we are similar same human design yeah and so uh my therapist just gave me tools for how to deal with it and how to if things are getting too heated like you said not either not being there as much or just excusing myself to go to my room and having time to calm down and then sometimes my mom would just follow me and i would be like look like i'm trying not to escalate this can you please just give me some space and she'll be like okay and then she'll come like back like five minutes later and then like oh

i'm just needing to get something what do you need to get out of my room an excuse right an excuse to see you in excuses talk as i say quite often excuses are bridges that lead to nowhere so um and this could be a conversation with your therapist figuring out like what what are the things that really make you angry what are the things that really makes your mom angry and then figuring out what those triggers are and then coming up with a game plan for when this happens and I'm going to do this when this happens I'm going to do this when this happens I'm not going to do this because not doing things is also part of it so I mean there's one thing that even now my mom will say this one thing all the time that just grates me and I was ignoring it ignoring it

for the thing is that i've already told her before yeah this is something that makes me angry and then it was fine for a minute and i told her why it made me angry it was fine for like i'd say like maybe six months and now it's starting again and i told her it got to a point yesterday when i was talking to her where i was like you need to stop and she's like well i'm talking about that this is something that affects me and i'm like no because it does it directly affects me it's something that you want me to do that has nothing to do with you she's and then i told her why it upset me and she's like oh well that's not my intention i said it doesn't matter what your intentions are this is how i feel and you know what i'm probably gonna have to do this

again in six months but at least i know like for some part some point some amount of time i'll be okay yeah right now did you and your mom have like a did you i mean because you i mean people don't know you have to like you've two you're he has a relatively decently close in age like you're all in the house at the yeah i mean i'm six years older than mel yeah but yeah yeah me and melanie did not get along when we were kids but we do now but so did you get did you get along with your mom when you were like growing up the thing is my mom was in corporate america yeah a lot she wasn't at home a lot because i was gonna say because did your relationship get better with when you moved out i didn't see her that much when i was at home so i can't like when

i saw her it was fine i actually now that i think of it i think it was more kind of when i started becoming my own person and having my own thoughts that it got worse yeah because i do wonder and i because I, I would ask your therapist about this too. And you could even just like pull your friends. Um, I think it's really, really normal in like the patriarchy, um, and internalized misogyny for daughters and moms to have like a fraught relationship growing up. But anecdotally, in my experience, I have friends who are really close to their moms, like all growing up and then kind of similar to you, like when they got older and they started making their own life decisions and maybe wouldn't get a ton of input

or would maybe not make the same choice that their parents would and they'd historically been really close, that had kind of caused a new tension that was like, whoa, this is something we haven't experienced before. And then I also know people who had really fraught relationships with their mom,

like daughters would really fraught relations with their mom up until like late high school. And then once it was late high school and moving out, the relationship got exponentially better. All right, it's time for a break. oh okay we'll be back okay we're back let's play the rest of calls

hey megan and melissa love the podcast So I'm calling because I'm really worried about my best friend. We are both she, her, 22 years old. We live in South America. Since last year, my friend has been in a lot of shitty relationships. All the boys that she has dated are really bad people. They treat her poorly and a few had put her in dangerous situations. Like she dated a man 10 years older than her.

He said she should be a model and he could help her. So he took pictures of her in underwear and then broke up with her because he wasn't ready for a relationship. All her relationships end for this exact reason. Even though they treat her badly, she stays in the relationship until they broke up with her. And usually it doesn't last longer than two months. So she just met this guy.

He's also 23 years old. They've known each other for three weeks. They have literally one day of being officially boyfriend and girlfriend. And because his family lives in the United States, he's going to move there in a month. And my friend is going to move there with him. She said it's because it's a great job opportunity. He told her he could get her a job of babysitting where she will make $8,000 a month.

She will be living with him and his family and she's really excited about moving with him. I told her it was a bad idea because she barely knows the guy. She doesn't know his family and they are moving to another fucking country. I also told her that my cousin works in the States being a nanny and she doesn't make $8,000 a month at all. And I get that in the States, jobs pay more than in South America, but she has money, her family has money, she has a degree, she just graduated college, she's white, she could easily find a good job here.

I told her all my concerns, but she said she wants to try. She wants a better life and a better future, and even though she doesn't know this guy for a long time, she can tell he's the one. But she has said those exact words with every single guy. I met a guy in her birthday party last week, and even though I don't know him, he had a few red flags. My friend changed so much of her personality when she's with him. He cried in her birthday party because he was so afraid of losing her. he said a kind of racist comment about me he also said that they should get married and it would be good for her because he will give her the green card and he's anti-abortion so yeah

i don't want my friend to move to another country in houston where she doesn't have family or friends with a guy and his family who she doesn't know that's it i hope you can help me love the podcast bye the only thing that good came out of houston beyonce yep but also lizzo and also megan stallion okay but also like unless she's a rapper also like i mean houston is like as far like houston has a high like black yeah population so it's like a better part of houston but it's still texas um there's no fucking way that she's making eight even then they're without references no there's no fucking way she's making eight thousand dollars a month no way no way oh and in texas no fucking way also the pain opportunity like that like of all the states

of all the states to like contrast of being like so much opportunity in texas like and he's i thought we were gonna go a whole episode without bringing did she say he was white or did she was white the caller is white yeah but i don't believe the caller is since he oh no no i meant the boyfriend he probably is yeah okay so i'm gonna operate under that assumption because you didn't say otherwise but like i'm so sorry like he of beyond it being like an absolute dipshit like i think that you actually have a leg up in this situation because factually he is incorrect like she's not going to be making that much money there of all of the places where there is quote unquote more opportunity like texas like holy fuck if you think about like the power

grid situation like just everything like texas is strapped like there are so many fucking people it is global warming is hitting it i honestly like i think he's trying to get her there to get her pregnant that's what i think i think i went had a more nefarious thought or that he's trying to sex traffic yeah i thought and i don't take this the wrong way people but like so i'm like just being like shut the fuck up anticipation saying it i think a lot of people jump to sex trafficking a lot of the fucking time um and in reality when we should jump to sex trafficking america like it's you know white people in america taking other white like no come on come on and also i mean to be fair she's white so it's less less of that but like this gives me probably has

like an accent yeah white people are like oh that's so exotic yeah no yeah this is giving me like sex trafficking vibes and um eight thousand dollars like he's so full he's lying he's trying to sell her on quote unquote the american and not even believable what the fuck even is that yeah this is like a huge red flag and i wrote down in my notes that you need to scare him off and manipulate the situation and did i just finish watching a season of are you the one yes and theirs is one asia this is season five six i don't know asia is my favorite character on a reality show person person personality yeah personality on this show and they are about to win like a million dollars split like 22 ways it's like 40 000 each after texas totally um but they

always like we're emitting a million dollars how long are they there like a month oh yeah yeah yeah that's a good so but she's figuring out she's she's playing but you would love her she is like playing by strategy and is like taking no prisoners and she finds out that this one girl is like i'm not going to the whole thing is everybody has to pair off with their perfect match because matchmakers have paired everyone off but you don't know who it is and you all have to like end up with your perfect matches and then with terrence j terrence you get up there and then you have these beams of light they have like a weird sci-fi sciency aspect of it which is my favorite because it's so low budget um and this one girl is gonna fuck it up for everyone because like no

i'm gonna follow my heart i'm gonna sit with this person and asia like tries to get through to her get through to her and then she finally goes okay we need to make the guy that she wants to pick hook up with somebody else and then he won't do it and she goes fine i'm just gonna say that he did and just like she just goes out of her way to like do all of this and the girl knew what she was doing and knew if you're gonna go through all of this after having tried to talk to me about this you are so desperate for this i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i think that like in this situation you you need to i think you have the logic explaining to her like i mean to be fair i would hang out with both of them like i would hang out and like ask him questions and be like

so you're gonna move here so like what so like what's the opportunity in texas oh what does your family do like oh what's that company called and like i would get as much information as you can but also at the same time like again i think you can kind of come at this with like actual facts are like well nanny's not gonna make that much money like why do you and then plant the seed like why do you think he would tell you that who's the family yeah like let's look them up like let's vet them and make sure like you need to have a contract before you go because you need a work visa before you go somewhere you should be having a conversation with the family regardless he probably if this is what we think it is he probably has people that will pose as yeah said

family but you've got to you don't know unless you start asking questions and you've got to ask all the questions to start poking holes into this farcical thing that exists but he's full of shit yeah and you said her family has money um does so why is she going for money that's what i was gonna say does his family have money like what is the because i don't i think it's this reminds me if anyone has seen a new caller specifically britney louise taylor wrote a book about her experience and then did a bunch of videos but basically like ended up getting um manipulated and married and to a narcissist who was just like completely lying about everything and manipulating her and then which led to like abuse and it's really really really bad um and so if i

think like poking holes in those things as opposed to kind of looking at this like oh this is what you always do i think if it's actually asking questions that are very valid questions about the logistics of it that she will then have to think about and then i think it'd be also i don't this is like a no holds bar like fucking balls the wall go for it a thing like tell her parents her parents can threaten to cut her off like financially like completely at a certain point if everyone in her life who has known her for so much longer than this guy who she's known for just a small bit of time especially if this is kind of how every relationship has gone I would hope that she starts to see that there is something to that but even if it's just oh

where are you moving to what's the address of the new apartment like what's like and not an interrogating kind of way but like oh what kind of furniture are you gonna have like let's like let's go look online and see like what like if we can design what your room would look like and you can frame it to be just curiosity and kind of like exciting fun stuff but I think that those kinds of questions need need to come up and I also think that this is a serious enough thing that like I would get her parents involved if need be and I would also have a sit-down conversation with her being like this is really bad like I love you and I know I've said that I haven't liked some of the guys you've dated before and I haven't but like this is one but like I'm afraid

like I'm really afraid for you and it's one thing to date someone and have it like find out that they're like not who they say they are and they're like not a great partner to you and like you still have your family here and your friends here and your life here but it's another thing like when you're there like you don't know that and if this is really like the true love and he is the one that it says he is you can date long distance and like you can do that and it won't be this all or nothing thing but I think I know I mean truly I know if she doesn't go with him he's gonna drop her and don't tell her that but I'm saying like to prove but if you can tell her that if this is the one there is no rush and it will work it it can be long distance and then she

might see that he's not gonna do that yeah like really sketch vibes truly scared because of the way that she's acted in other relationships too i do think your caller you're kind of at an advantage because she has told you a lot of things has happened in these relationships i think sometimes when people are in manipulative relationships they don't tell their friends because they're embarrassed by what has happened but in her past relationship she has told you a lot of the things that happened and then you know the man breaks up with her and this happens a lot to her so i think continue to remain like an active participant friend because you like i mean like sometimes people are in these type of situations and the firm's like i don't know what

to do but you actually like want to help her and you know keep her out of the situation ask her questions all the time see if there's resources where you live where yeah they can help people in this situation ask where they're going to live in houston who are these people they're gonna she's gonna work for ask you know like you have to to work in the u.s you to work legally which i think that's probably what she wants to do eight thousand dollars yeah she she's gonna need like a a w-2 like they have bank account yeah do they have something set up where they run a business nobody's going to be paying legally eight thousand dollars under the table remain curious be there to support her poke holes in the story if it gets to the point where you're actually scared

tell her family i like what you said before seeking out like resources of places that could do like i'm sure there's either like a toll-free number or like i don't know what where specifically you live um and like the relationship with um if there's a different type of law enforcement or an organization that deals with that like i'm sure even like there might even be an international hotline you can call being like i think my friend is getting sex trafficked i don't know i not like a tip line but something like i don't know what to do with this could you like give me some um advice yeah i i think like fucking push comes to shove this is so this is like so toxic and like it's also bad because if it blows up in your face like it's kind of the thing with the like bad

relationships if you intervene as a friend to a point where you get caught in what you're doing it can then exile you but this is one of those things that i think like you need to try absolutely everything like she can't get on that plane i would go if if it gets to like this the point of like no like it's happening i would i would go into her phone and change my number to say his number or something or i would do something on his phone or i would say i got a new phone block all of his numbers and i would text her and break up with her or i would actually like that a lot and i would also probably ask her parents for some money and have them pay him off and be like you need to leave and sign a contract yeah that on it honestly depending on

what the timeline of that is that actually might be your first point of is talking to her family with about um that but yeah so they need to break up and he needs to never speak to her again and if that doesn't come from if she's not choosing to do that like you know manipulate in any way that you are safe doing so yeah all right next call yes hi megan and melissa so i am a 26 year old with she her pronouns and and my boyfriend is 29 he him we have been dating for three years total and we've been living together for one year my boyfriend frequently smacks my butt or grabs me from behind pushes himself against me when I bend over grabs my butt when we hug wants to make out in the kitchen etc so whenever I'm changing and

he's in the room he sort of bites his lip and wants to come over and hug me or touch me while I'm undressing and you know I understand that this is normal in a relationship I touch him too like I'll hug him from behind, rub his neck, but at times it just becomes a lot to handle. I don't always want to be humped or have his dick pressed against me. If I try to back away or continue with what I'm doing, he doesn't usually stop. I get annoyed and I'm sort of snapping at him and telling him to stop, and he then proceeds to get offended, throws hands up, says, like, gee, sorry, and sort of walks away. He often does this when I'm in the middle of something and it isn't really invited physical touch.

We also have a roommate, and I'm not someone who enjoys a lot of PDA, so I'm not really down for just sucking face in the kitchen all the time. How can I communicate with him that this is something that is kind of overwhelming and just simply unwanted at times? It feels like he has ownership over my body, and it kind of just grosses me out sometimes because I don't want to feel like I owe him sexual favors or like he's entitled to touch me whenever he wants. do you think this is something that just comes along with long-term relationships

I get it he's attracted to me he likes to feel my body but I'm just not always down to be touched or like looked at like some sexual object it also makes me feel like I'm not giving him enough attention or sex which is also a gross feeling so what do you guys think is this just something that comes with the territory or how can I communicate with him like stop touching me all the time and sort of rubbing your dick on me um and definitely be as harsh as possible i'm kind of i don't know i feel kind of stuck so yeah be harsh thanks love you guys bye end it end it dump him you know you know you know talking to you specifically you know this is this is not comes with the territory this is not okay you know it and um that is the only thing in

this call that makes me happy is you at the end saying be as harsh as you want because you know you know and you have our permission you have our encouragement uh you have the spirit of us in you to I mean I there are two things that you said that I want to point out you said you don't feel like you have ownership over your own body that he does you know how that sounds you know how you know what it is he's forcing himself on you without your permission he knows that you don't want this and then he gets when you tell him no he gets frustrated and acts like it's your fault like a toddler throws his hands up you also said it was kind of overwhelming it's not kind of it's very overwhelming i know you're kind of i just did it downplaying what's actually happening here

break up with him i don't i don't know how else dump him fuck him like but don't fuck don't fuck him uh this isn't the kind of relationship you want to be in anything in life should be consensual if you don't want to be touched and you tell him no if you don't you're not enthusiastic about him touching you and he doesn't stop immediately doesn't stop he doesn't apologize he gets angry with you this is not the kind of relationship that you want to be in he gets offended you said he gets offended with it yeah it makes you feel like you owe him and that you're not giving enough in during sex and it's not even just how he touches you but it's how he also looks at you and this is biting his lip disgusting disgusting and he's made it to be like

you to feel like you and you are you're like a wonderful person so sexy all of that but as if that like it's a compliment to have your boundaries crossed and also there are some things in this world that like you don't have to communicate that and first of all you already have communicated that you have uh verbally communicated that you have physically by moving away you've said no i don't want to do there is nothing you can say to someone who is not caring about obtaining your consent before getting physical with you that is going to make them change what they're doing at all that's not something in any relationship that you you should have to communicate having to communicate that is a red flag and it's a stop sign it's a

end end of relationship at all there are certain times where like I get overstimulated when if like someone's too close to me sometimes or like touching me or like rubbing like my shoulder in like not a sexual way and that is something that like yes that's a communication thing but this no this is not this is this isn't about like a miscommunication or not understanding or just being different people this is someone who and I I don't I'm hesitant to use words that might feel really I don't want to you said we could be harsh but I also don't want to say anything that like makes you feel like we don't understand and then puts you pushes you back closer to him but there's a word that starts with a that this is and that is what like you have to consent

even if it's your long-term partner every time there's any sort of touching sexual or not like that is he's trying to course you into doing things that you don't want to do and if this has been going on for this long i also think he enjoys that yeah because you should be mortified like you should be mortified and big oh my gosh i'm so sorry first time it happened first and only time that it's like wow i can't believe that but when you keep coming back for that it's because it's getting you off and you're also trying to be like i will break her and he's also trying to do it when you're working on something else or in front of your roommate and he's trying to show how much control he has over you so this does not come with the territory this is not

something that is normal this is not the kind of relationship that you want to be in he does not respect you get out yeah i'm just gonna this is abusive like it is abusive and i hope that me saying that doesn't make you feel like we don't understand but like i'm saying this as someone who similar age range been with my fiance been with moths for like seven years live together this is not the joking thing when people make on tiktok where it's like if your boy if you when you're bending down in front of the fridge and your boyfriend doesn't come over and pretend to hump your butt that's not this no this isn't playful or funny like that that's something that they've agreed to that's something they're into somebody might you know like the excitement of

being in the middle of something and have a dick rubbed up against it but if i don't i don't yeah some in theory i'm just saying in an instance someone can consent to that it can be i mean it could be during thing they're like yeah i like that but like even if this was like the even if you liked it all like exactly liked it 30 times and then the one time you said no and then he gets mad about it it doesn't matter no but this is not how long-term relationships go this is you don't feel comfortable in your own home no and this is not this isn't sexual it's power and control and and humiliation too yeah yeah but I I thank you for calling like I don't want to say I'm proud of you because I don't know you but like this you knew what we were

gonna say you took the first step yeah and or second step I don't know where you are first step might have been just recognizing that this is something that doesn't make you comfortable now you're calling to see getting other people's opinions to see you know is this normal no it's not normal should i leave him yes yeah well is that the last one yeah okay it's a pivot so uh now don't blame them this is where a listener will call in with their own advice pertaining to a call we had on a previous episode so maybe they have their own experience um or they just thought of something that we didn't or have some of their own personal insight hi i am calling in for a don't blame them for episode 34 in the current season and this is in

regards to the boyfriend who wouldn't move to australia with the girlfriend with the caller I was in a similar situation, except I was the person who was asked to move. We weren't moving out of the country, but we were moving across the country. My ex-fiance had gotten into a Ph.D. program across the country. I thought we were making the decision together at first, but when it came down to the point when I realized the career options for me in the state and the city that we were moving to were not great. And I was also, of course, being offered a promotion at work. I asked to do long distance since it would only be for about two years. He then gave me an ultimatum. Either you

come with me or we're done. And this was a four-year-long relationship. Megan was definitely right if you are with somebody whether you're married or not you make these decisions together because it affects both of your lives when he gave me the ultimatum I mean it scared me and it caused me to yeah I want to move right because I'm doing this for him I'm doing this for the relationship and because we love each other I'm trying to be supportive but it wasn't good right I resented him I was lonely I was starting my career over it's just not how good relationships the foundations are built and it's just not how you continue to basically tell someone that it's my way or the highway that's not a partnership and if that's how you're viewing

your current relationship maybe that relationship's not for you in the long term and that's okay but forcing someone to make a move especially one out of the country because if you were the man and he was the woman you would make that that's also a lot of internalized misogyny there and you might want to explore that as well but if you really wanted the relationship to work it would need to be a conversation about like how do we tackle this together not i'm leaving and i hope you're coming or you should be coming so my advice is girl reevaluate what you're doing um so yeah i love you guys great podcast to the caller i'm talking to i hope everything goes well and i hope you enjoy your move

well that was poetic it was you were the kind of person in class like you could act yeah like you could tell you could give a critique like a public out loud critique of like someone's work and everybody would be like oh i know it sounds like i should be saying thank you but i know it is really and the teacher's like oh thank you it was really insightful and you're like oh knife to the chest and then you you like it takes people like a day and they're like wait just talk shit yeah and then you're like what me i just told the truth i don't think so i think i was just i was i mean that's a fact if it hurt your feelings i'm i apologize for that but i was just talking that was wonderful wonderful um and i knew it was going to be good as soon as you said

ex fiance yep thank you oh and i just want to say this is from season nine episode 24 i think you said 34 but it's 24 it's a good it's a good uh that was a good original call too i wonder what happened i think i pissed her off probably a little bit she she needed to hear it yeah we'll call us back original caller let us know if y'all are still together yeah he's going with you maybe you do the update with with him and you're in like australia wherever you are and he's just uh well that's it for our episode we hope you all enjoyed it do you want me to read one my favorite podcast from don't blame katya i grew up watching megan and started listening to this podcast in 2019 i can't believe i'm only reviewing it now this podcast has brought me so much humor

and comfort as a mixed black chronically ill closeted by woman this podcast has made me feel heard and validated through some of the toughest periods of my life. This podcast pushed me to go to therapy, which is life-changing. I have listened to so many episodes that I can apply their advice to my own life. They have brought me the courage to cut toxic relationships and situations. It's refreshing to be a part of such an inclusive, funny, and thoughtful community. The silver lining in COVID-19 is that Melissa became a permanent host. I can't recommend this podcast enough, except if you are conservative. I look forward to every Monday and Thursday because of them megan and melissa please keep doing your doing even if you aren't making any money from

it lol because it's the value is priceless when i binge ps when i binge listen to too many episodes in a row i get megan saying i'm gonna live with you stuck in my head i'm gonna live with you and uh what is it uh to be fair yeah i have like five fucking sayings um and i also do i'm sorry but and it's never and i'm never sorry thank you that's a great one we should put that on a on a pitch deck for something but we'll have to cut out the money part can be like brands i mean we make money on this yeah we do we don't make money on yeah our other podcasts not like a living wage or anything but oh no to suffice yeah like we're not spending i mean you could make a podcast for really cheap but when you listen to it you would hear you can hear how

cheese um and nothing that rich auntie melissa does is cheap and so um yeah we don't we make money on this show you know like holiday card money you make like enough to buy groceries yeah exactly yeah you don't make a like it's not a living wage it's more like we slipped a couple of dollar bills in your birthday gift like in your but the expenses are covered exactly and then the other podcast um it's not that that is it for this episode thank you so much if you want to call in for an upcoming episode 310-694-0976 or international listeners send your audio message to meganpodcasts at gmail.com i don't know if i said that at the beginning but this way you listen to the whole show it's also in the show notes oh that too and at this point come on

um and if you are listening this far comment on the latest instagram i think your favorite moment over the last 10 seasons oh my god yeah well yeah let us know what your favorite moment or moments have been i love that okay well we hope you enjoyed and we will see you next time goodbye stunning thank you don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond imprint productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry production assistance by melanie d watson music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso