Don't Blame Me! - Boyfriend is No Longer "In Love" With Me

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

But Am I Wrong: Meghan - Blind items are fucked Melisa - Sharing Kate Campbell's thoughts on how we track violence But Are You Wrong: Brother's girlfriend who always makes snarky responses to your instagram If you should block your friend Being left in a club Love vs. In Love But Are They Wrong: The Weeknd and Sam Levinson Principal/Coach Philip Koons Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello hi what were you just singing i was singing ariana grande because i was on tiktok and i saw a video of bad bunny doing carpool karaoke oh i did saying that too yeah that he's like i listened a lot of english music but i don't always know all of the words but like there is one song that i know by heart and then started singing and i enjoyed it i don't say just started singing he broke out in song it was giving big theater kid energy like i i was like okay into the woods we go like it was like okay maybe bad bunny is what our next one of our next egos maybe he's very sexy I mean here's the thing I like know my place when it comes to Bad Bunny like I'm so late on the train I got on the train what two years ago which was already late do you know what

I mean and people like loves like just love him so much and I'm like you know what I don't deserve to thirst over him like there are people who have put their blood sweat and tears into this man long before I did and like I'm not going to be a bandwagon thirster so I can appreciate the beauty similarly to how I would that of a sculpture in a museum that I'm like, you know what? I didn't carve this with my own two hands, but I'm not blind. I can see that this is sexy. I'm going to thirst. I have no stipulations around who I thirst about. Like when I jumped on the wagon, if I see somebody that makes a part of my body cry, like in a sexual way, then I'm just going to let it flow see for me I am a Jonas Brothers fan I was a Nick Jonas girly I am now a Joe girl

but like when people used to be like oh my god Nick Jonas is so hot I was like I'm sorry no I would get territorial and as someone who was a part of a fandom I'm like to respect the other fandoms and know my place okay okay hello everybody welcome back to another episode of but am I wrong starting two people who have not once ever been wrong it's great to never be wrong it is i don't know what the opposite feels like so i can't speak on it but yeah i mean just this is my norm so whatever yeah no this is just i wake up right i go to sleep right i vote left and i this is how the life goes how it goes so we are recording virtual again today if you are watching which you can watch over on our patreon and we are thrifty it is budget it is affordable it is a

good time so uh if you're listening you're like i don't need to know that you're recording virtually but now you do know so well it's because we had a wonderful update that you heard on monday yes and then also after that we had a call with um our podcast advertising our podcast you know network ad company yep yeah i was telling matz about it and he was just like giving me this look like those are the things you said on a work call and i was like babe yeah personality it's selling ourselves and we have to be true to who we are and does anybody know who is better at selling themselves than us no and we're virtual we're not even together we're not even hyping off each other's in-person energy like we were just on fire and we were and the thing is i talked to

these people I talk to one of them specifically once a month they haven't seen this side of me because I have to be professional because it's not just this podcast there's other podcasts you know that I have to go in as producer Melissa not as host Melissa but this was host Melissa coming in hot I was dying because like I knew that but I didn't think about it until you said it where they were like it was so great getting to know you and I was like yeah I'm really sorry about that and then you were like oh yeah you know you're seeing a whole other side of me and I was like oh my god i forgot like you have those different versions of the same the same you but like you have i don't want to call your girl boss you but it's like your blazer and high heel you

like corporate getting shit done and i was like that's fucking hilarious that i did not realize that and also you have all these same meetings with them on zoom so it's just like this one time you're in that little corner box and it's just like wow look at her so hopefully that means everyone you'll hear more ads yeah hopefully so we have three segments for this show and with that comes voting yeah we basically are telling we're we're pitching things that we're saying hey were we wrong in the situation then we're reading your emails where we're telling you if you're the hero the villain and then finally we're nominating people in pop culture the zeitgeist uh and we're saying hey they're wrong they're the worst of the

week worst of the month worst of whatever category you want to give them and then we include all of you by making it so you can also vote because you know our voices just because we're the only two on the mic doesn't mean we're the only ones that matter well i am a leo so i do think i i matter a lot to me personally but if you want to vote and see if you agree with us you disagree with us there's truly no hard feelings unless you know you're like transphobic or racist or just like a bad person you can head on over to our instagram stories and read them all first before you start voting and they'll be in the highlights as well only up for 24 hours i do my best to get them up on friday but they are gonna be up before friday through monday so you know what that means you

just gotta make sure you're following us and checking back okay so should we get into our first segment i think that's a great idea our first segment is but am i wrong where we each pitch to each other either a hot take a rant or something happening in our own life where we want know if our actions or our opinion is correct or not and here's the thing like we said we're never wrong we're always right so going into it there's a little bit of confidence behind it and i for this week chose a i guess you could call it a combination of a rant and a hot take and it is that blind items are fucked they're morally and ethically absolutely fucked and the idea that they're still incredibly popular but also used as fact and how people then judge

celebrities that they don't know and treat it like they are set in stone this is definitive like this actually happened is absolutely asinine like it's just like you're fucking kidding me so if anyone doesn't know what blinds are so that i don't even know where the term originated from but like there's this like one that's crazy days and nights i think that's nt like and basically someone who claims to be an entertainment lawyer which is absolutely hilarious because no no entertainment lawyer is doing this and basically they just have an email address where people submit anonymous tips about celebrity gossip and then on crazy days nights and nt and whatever the other ones are they will do blind item reveals so when they're written out it's so it's like

legitimately so campy it's so dramatic it's like and this a-lister with golden locks like did she find her like three bears like she's gone goldilocks has gone through these three bear and they'll just do this whole thing you're like okay for sure and then a couple weeks later months month later whatever they will do blind item reveals and then they will post that same thing and be like, oh, it was revealed to be like Gisele Bündchen and something, something. And it's like, these things are not, they range from being really whatever, like not super serious, not an ordeal, but they also go to extreme lengths that not only like they out people, they accuse people of being addicts, of drugs, alcohol, sexual assault.

and then also the thing that like has been perpetuated so much that I've talked to people who genuinely thought that it was confirmed and reported in legitimate publications and it didn't come from blind items like that's the issue like blind items will snowball and then people will hear them like oh my friend told me that and they think that it's because like oh my friend like you heard it from someone that you know who knows that person and it's like no these were all sort as rumors and these things this thing called yachting where it's escorts and so they will talk about these women who are famous who they will factually say are just they're yacht girls they've been yachting and then they literally you go to their instagram comments and it's just like oh

yeah yacht girl yachting yachting doing all of and i'm like what the fuck it's just so royally fucked because there are some things that are obvious that are true and i'm like yeah definitely true but then if we can look objectively at reddit am i the asshole and be like this is a troll post someone just wrote this you're fabricating this is fanfic why can't we do that when we look at blind items like nobody is submitting these things who actually has true real intel here is the people who are submitting them and i'm not claiming at all to be in that specific like people are going to send blind items like running in a similar circle of those people but like this is gonna be sound like a blind like i've got friends who do i know people who do like

and i know how this i know how this shit works like i just know how it works and the people who are submitting blind items are people who are getting their hair done at the salon at the same time as a famous person is and then they're hearing someone who did that person's hair talk to another hairstylist who then will talk to another person and they're overhearing bits and pieces and then they're making up a story or they're hearing from a friend a rumor from a friend who lives in Los Angeles who they assume is a reputable voice and knows that this actually happened and doing all of that shit but like nobody who has a job in the industry who counts on this for their income because at this point like your talent is 50% of it but your reputation

is 50 of it and if you are known for saying shit behind people's backs like all of that shit like you're you're donezo like you're just done and there's been some reports that like some stylists have like there's been blind items about how certain people have been leaking blind items and it's just wild to me like it's wild to me like dumois is one that i think they do a little bit of a better job of saying that it's all speculation and they say that they don't vet their answers like they don't they just post what people send them and the amount of people on the subreddit who are like oh yeah i just made this thing up and they posted it like how funny is that but they're posting things that aren't super they're not bad they're like funny and like

clearly outlandish and it's like okay so you're posting that which to me i'm like so clearly fake there are people who are other writing other things who who are not and the thing about the sexual assault allegations and a lot of people could you could see that and be like oh like believe all women but the issue is is when that is coming up and there's been no formal allegations made and it's just like a rumor about it people then start digging to figure out who which woman said this rumor and then those women who haven't said anything who people are then suspecting that they were the ones who are being talked about in these blight items as being victims of this are then being harassed for not even having made statements it's just a mess and then you have

people defending someone who sure they might have they might have done something that and then you people like oh my god stop coming for cancel culture and like all of this shit and then you're building more ammo of like oh look at this like and i don't doubt that there are people who and i know this there are lots of people who are fucking creepy there are lots of people who are assholes and all that shit and they should be called out without a doubt but blind items are not a reputable thing and the fact that we're treating them as such it makes me like ridiculously annoyed because just because some things are true doesn't mean they all are and it's problematic as fuck yeah i was just looking up that the term blind item came from um this man named william

de anton man who was a publisher of town topics who often used it as blackmail to get over on people town topics was a like socialite magazine in new york so i i'm guessing kind of like the post no page six page six that's what i'm thinking so like the post oh is it okay i think it's page six of the new york post gotcha so that's what so i think like that was like a predecessor to that and that was in 1839 so like it goes back but i i just think it's wild that people care that much one like that they sit up and make up stories but two there are uh people that i know who have had blind items like in dumois which are they were just off the wall random blind items about people that they didn't even know and so it's just wild it's just like why don't people care it's fan

fiction it literally is fan fiction and like i've submitted one thing to dumois it got on there we had a conversation it was like haha funny whatever but like the things that are real and the things that are like legitimate are the things like what i sent where it's not mean it's not anything it's not like scandalous it's mostly about me and involving some someone else but like there's no privacy being breached like there is no personal information there is no sensitive information like it's just like a fun fucking fact like it's like it's that and those are the ones that are being submitted by people who are like oh yeah i saw this is ha ha ha like great or if it's someone who's everyone fucking hates then people will all send like legitimate people

and sources will all send their experiences with said person like that's why when harvey weinstein shit came out like everybody had like or army hammer like all these people had stories and it's because like oh now i will be protected in being able to tell this and this is not i'm not going to become no one's going to come after me for for saying any of this but like a lot of the shit i'm like no this is just not real i do not like huh well you're not wrong i think that it's ridiculous thank you mine is serious and i just want to give like a trigger warning for sexual violence but it's not specifically about that this is something that i did not come up with, but I saw someone named Kate Campbell post about it and I thought it was interesting

and something we should talk about. And my friend Bertha actually posted it, reposted it, and then I found more information from that. And so, like I said, the creator's name is Kate Campbell. Their name on TikTok is In Your Company. And she brought up that we track violence in this country by essentially blaming victims instead of putting the blame on the perpetrators. And so, for example, we say one out of four women have experienced sexual violence, which is a fact from National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, instead of saying, and I can't exactly quote this because there's no data behind it, but one in three men have committed sexual assault. And so it's like I said, it's all victim-based instead of predator-based. And Kate said, this is how you

gaslight victims because it allows others to say that there's no proof to what causes the problem. So there's only proof that the problem exists, which is again, pointing the finger at the victim and not the perpetrator. I just find this bonkers that I never even thought of it in that way. and it just brought so much light to it's all about blaming the victim blaming the people that don't have power in the situation but again as we've said time and time again the system is working how it's designed to work ignoring the problem means that you don't actually have to state that there is a problem and then someone else in the comments brought up that this is why for so long, like enslaved people were being called slaves instead of enslaved people. They

were enslaved by other people instead of putting a number on what percentage of people owns enslaved people. So I just thought that was interesting and thought, you know, that would be something for us to discuss. I think it's so interesting. This, I came across someone talking about this probably last year, like a year and a half ago. And I had the same, I literally, i think i said out loud i was like whoa like holy fuck and i was with mots and he was like what and i was like the phrasing of this i was like listen to like you know one in what was it is it one in four women yeah i was like one in four women have experienced sexual assault flipping it over one in four men have committed sexual assault and then we just like sat there for a minute and i was like

are you thinking about like men that you know and he was like yeah i'm just like thinking if i got all of the guys that I know together in a room like statistically that's really scary like and he's like and I don't think about that and he's like and that's like a privilege in myself of like you know being a man that like I don't think about like I wonder if one of my guy friends has physically and sexually assaulted a woman and I'm like oh as women I worry about my friends all the time like I worry about them being attacked all the time and when when you put it like that like to me I'm like not only is that helpful for the world and statistics and data but like even just watching a man's reaction to that recognizing that it's like oh like that's actually helpful

for men holding other men accountable I don't know any women who think about sexual violence and physical violence against them as the boogeyman or anything like it's every single person, every single man that I meet as opposed to possible threat. But men don't see that. I mean, yeah, like walking down the street, you know, or a little bit more careful getting onto an elevator with a man or a little bit more careful. But like, yeah, if you flip the statistics, it's like that is so scary, but we don't have the actual data. But and I think it would help men hold other men accountable because it's like, oh there's a lot of us that i need to be work i need to be cautious about that it's like just

because i've personally vetted someone doesn't mean that they're safe because statistically i can't do that like there's just when there are that many men in a room like that's just how it fucking works yeah and i and i also want to say you know the data might exist but in the hour that i spent researching i couldn't find it and the fact that i couldn't find if the fact that it's not the top of google search is actually pretty repulsive yeah no like even if you hadn't said it was one in four women like that would have been that's kind of ingrained in my memory like i'm confirming that number with you and like you had already said it but like it's something that you just you just know because people say it yeah it's a fucking trade it's like a it's a

tagline it's a slogan it's uh it's on signs it's on so you'll see it at protests it's all of these things that yeah center the the victim and in so many ways nothing about sexual assault in the justice system is victim forward except this and except the bad things there's victim blaming but there's never like justice redemption or just acknowledging that there's a problem like yeah or anything in in trying to avoid any additional victims the only prevention from victims is blaming victims for becoming victims so yeah so obviously you're not wrong clearly so should we take a break let's do it now we're back from our break and we're getting to our second segment which is but are you wrong

and what happens in this segment melissa this is when y'all write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com and send us a situation that you might have been wrong in keep it to 300 words or less. And if it's not, we'll send it back and say, try again. And then we read it out loud. And here we go. Go, Megan. Go, Megan. Go, Megan. Go. Hi, Eminem. This has to do with myself, 19, she, her, and my brother, Jack, 18, he, him, and his girlfriend, Lucy, 18, she, her. Long story short, Lucy got kicked out when her parents found out she was dating Jack and they wouldn't take her back in when she couldn't support herself anymore. So she went across the country to live with her grandma. Lucy and I never really spoke

unless she was at dinner with us. This week, I started noticing that she was mirroring my notes on Instagram, kinda. I posted Red Bull gives you wings and after her notes all being on a whole other topic that day, she changed it to I like wings

after I posted mine. Next day, a similar thing happened. I thought I was overthinking it, but my friends thought the same thing. Last night, I posted queen of procrastination and I woke up to her note being girl, please,

more like the queen of starting arguments. I was so shocked because at this point, she's being shady to me. There's been a lot of tension between Jack and I lately, which is a whole other thing

and I'm sure he rants to her about it as I do with my friends but I feel like it's out of line for her to say anything especially on social media. Am I wrong for thinking she's completely out of line? She has a history of just disrespecting

our family as a whole but this is the most direct it's ever been and I want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this is inappropriate. It's direct but not. It's like incredibly direct. I don't think she's out of line because I don't know what the line is.

Do you know what I mean? Like I think like we don't know what she's complaining to. You don't know what Jack is complaining to her about. Well, the line is also like incredibly subjective. Like to me, if like, if you're out of line, that's because there's like a set of rules and regulations in place.

Like, I think you can be out of line at work. Like, I think you can be out of line when you're doing an interview, you're on the record. I think you can be out of line when you're in school and, or you're in a relationship with like established boundaries. But even then out of line to me, and this might just be a me thing,

like out of line to me, that kind of phrasing of it involves like, so what are the repercussions like what are you gonna you can't do any like it's just like okay like sure that was out of line but then what how are you how are you gonna tell her to get in line like clean up your act like it's just subjective but i'm like fine with petty social media shit because no one knows that she's like being shady to you except the people who you've also told about this like you know what I mean like she's not like if she was tagging you directly and she was posting things like saying your name to me I'd be like okay let's not but she's not

like she don't be shady and passive-aggressive and kind of like not serious about it I think that at that point that's the only means of way that you have like you can feel like you can communicate something or you can be really snarky about it like that has nothing to do with me I'm like okay keep doing your little instagram notes and then i'd probably just say something funny like have like explosive diarrhea and then like see what she says see do i think she's wrong yeah i think she's being childish image immature not necessarily wrong but is she being annoying yes but she's thinking about you and she's basically just waiting for you to post something so then you can post and so then she can have her own post she doesn't have like original thought

so what i would do if i were in this situation is that i would just keep it going let her post her little thing and says what was the last thing she said more like queen of arguments and then i and i would say more like emperor of minding my own damn business and just like build on it every every time you post every time you see a post just do it again until she finally like says something or stops doing it but like I don't I don't think it's that serious no I don't think it's that serious either I think the issue is that you are all really close in age so that makes it a little bit it feels more like peer-on-peer thing like and I don't know what she's done or why you like don't like her but the idea that like getting kicked out of your house because you're dating

someone and then you move across the country at like 18 years old like that's really hard and if she's disrespecting your family to me I'm like it seems like she had the ultimate disrespect from her own family and she probably didn't have a great system growing up and this is an opportunity for yeah she might be retaliating she might be being snarky and like not super pleasant to be around but that's like because that's what she knows yeah it might be like her your brother is other than like her grandmother is like her own actual stability so when he is hurting or angry at you about something she is too I would if it was me in that situation but I'm also older and maybe having coming it from a personal place but like I would yeah I would probably like

work on befriending her and like trying to have a good relationship with her knowing that she was failed by so many people in her life so even if this relationship doesn't work out with your brother in her that she still can feel like she can count on you as you know trying to make it as much of a family as possible even if you're beefing with your brother and you know yeah so yeah yeah 18 19 year old me would have handled this a lot differently than without a doubt current me would have just blocked it that would have been the end of it i think both versions of me would have changed it to something like explosive diarrhea like peeing out my asshole and then having like just see what she would say and then it'd be funny all right next one hi eminem i'm 24 she her i'm

writing to ask if i would be wrong for blocking my ex best friend sadie 23 she her sadie and i've been bff since we were eight however three years ago we had a communication error that resulted in a sudden end to our friendship. In the past two years, we've been on off again, trying to mend our friendship. Most recently, we're only cordial and Mason updates regarding exciting life news or pop culture. We only interact privately on social media due to Sadie living in an area where she has limited cell reception. Because of this, it's even more apparent to me when she's ignoring my messages for multiple weeks, although I can see her actively engaging with others. While I do understand that our relationship has altered, I do unfortunately feel envious and sad when I see

this or when Sadie posts about her new bestie. I usually wouldn't think twice about it, but blocking ghosting were actions that I used manipulatively in the past. My worry is that if she were to notice, she would take major offense and think me the same person as I was. I do care about her opinion of me, which is maybe stemming from a secret unrealistic hope that we will one day be close again. Still, I hold no malice toward her anymore. I truly wish her the best in life, even if I'm not included in it. It's just clear to me that despite time passing, I may never get over our friendship. I'm genuinely embarrassed by these continued feelings of grief and envy from her social media posts. Limiting my exposure to her is the only recourse I can think of. Would I be

wrong to block her unprompted? I don't think so because I think that this is more like a mental health thing for you. Like blocking her would be better for you because then you don't feel that envy and dread and hurt that you felt i understand you not wanting to come off like like you're ghosting her that you haven't grown in the past but she's not being reciprocal of your friendship in the same way that you are with her she's not answering you she's not responding you see that she's doing other things i mean i'm not the best at responding i know megan's not either, but we still talk to each other, but I just don't think you'd be wrong. Maybe have a conversation with her first, if you are concerned and you still have hope that y'all are going to

be friends, but say, Hey, I would still like to be friends with you. Um, what you're doing is hurting me. And I, you know, I apologize and you've forgiven me for things that I've done in the past? Is there something going on in your life that you can't be like set boundaries for what your current relationship is? Because friendships change. There are some friends that I don't talk to all the time. And even like one of my ex best friends, like we're still cordial with each other, but we're not answering each other's messages all the time, mainly because she likes to gossip about stuff and I'm just over it. And I've grown up and I feel like she has it and so just like figuring out where your friendship is right now and not

what it used to be or what it could be have that conversation and understand and if I wouldn't be saying this if you were still like if you weren't still holding out hope but since you are then you know blocking could be just the complete end of your relationship and I don't know if that's exactly what you want i agree and like that i i think that you should have a conversation because this i don't think this is going to accomplish what you want because what you want is your relationship to go back to how it was and you're feeling like envy and jealous and you're using blocking you're saying i don't want her to think that i'm using blocking in the same way but i think you are and there's a difference between blocking and muting and blocking is that she knows

that you're not seeing her stuff and like muting means that like you're not gonna go see her stuff but i do think at this like i wish we knew what the communication error was because like if you were at fault for it and like you're like yeah that was like all on me i think that the conversation is like okay what are the expectations of our friendship at this point because if it was your fault she might not feel comfortable or ready to be back to where you were and that might not ever happen and I do think it is kind of I think it's kind of shitty to decide to end a friendship because like you fucked up and you acknowledge it and you apologize and you're upset that it can't get back to how it used to be before that like that's just the result of actions like

I've been on both sides of that and like it's not it doesn't feel good but like it is what it is and I think running away from it and not sitting with it and like you know if you still have a fine friendship and it's like they're not the most prompt at responding but like are there people you're not the most prompt at responding by like do you feel like you're owed something specifically because you wouldn't do that to her but would you do that to other people like but you have done it to her. That's what I mean. Like, it's the expectation of what do you expect from this friendship that's different than other friendship. So it's a gentle, I think you would be wrong to block her unprompted. I don't think you would like the outcome of that. I don't think it would

actually help you. But I think there's nothing wrong with ending the friendship if you need to. But yeah. Okay. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I have a but. Am I wrong to submit? I have a but. So I, 29 she her work overseas and travel all the time for a 50 meter yacht okay recently we were in the bahamas and we had some time off as a crew oh my god i love you know how much i fucking love a below deck moment recently we were in the bahamas and we had some time off as a crew we all went to atlantis holy shit you're literally writing like my personal fucking fanfic like megan has spoken numerous times about wanting to go to atlantis no that's like all i wanted as a child was to go to a hotel and really in general but like the hotels with a water slide and when i saw atlantis

i was like i'm like need to go maybe that's what i should have done for my 30th this month okay as a crew we all went to atlantis and spent the evening at the casino in the nightclub most of the crew went home and it was just me and my superior 32 she her and i left i was tearing it up on the dance floor as per usual love it and she was talking to some guys next thing i knew i couldn't see her i was wandering around the club alone and when i saw some of the guys she was talking with they all said that she had gone home with their friend she didn't even bother telling me or texting me that she left or that she was going or anything just poof left i'm annoyed at her for leaving me alone in a club in a foreign country and i feel disrespected that i'm so low

on her radar she says i'm overreacting that i need to get over it am i wrong for being annoyed and hurt or am i being overly sensitive okay thanks love the podcast have been listening since the beginning i don't think you're wrong at all like i also don't think that like if she was inebriated and it was a lapse in judgment like i don't think that makes her like a bad or evil person who like was maliciously doing something and like wishing ill will on you i think a lot of people have been there where a lot of the times like people who are like i'm not fucking leaving without telling someone are the people who have been left before like and some people are very lucky that they've never been in that position so it doesn't cross their mind

and it should that to me is luck and privilege that you don't even think like safety wise i should be doing this so i don't think that that's malicious that she did but i think that she was wrong for doing that and i think she's wrong for doubling down and saying that like you're overreacting you need to get over and you're just being sensitive like that's wrong to me yeah In my clubbing days, no matter how, even in my drunkest of times and my horniest of times, I never left without my friends knowing. Yeah, it might have been just like she was so into it or she was so out of it that she didn't realize what she was doing was wrong. But then the fact after when she's saying that you made a big deal of it, that's what bothers me. Me too. Because you're not only concerned about your safety, but her safety as well.

And you didn't know where she was. So I would be very upset about this. And I don't think you're wrong at all. Yeah, because it is really the twofold of that. it's like for her safety like you should know where she's going if you have each other's locations on your phones uh you've got the name take like i remember like college like you know taking a picture of the person's id that you're going home with like just just so you know just taking it so like there's just some something there so they can you know like just just for

you like peace of mind as well so like you know for me if i if i'm thinking about my laundry i can't orgasm but like if people don't know where i am i'm probably a little bit i you know i want to be free of mind peace of mind so i can have a great time but then also even if she felt incredibly safe in her own situation you being left alone there as one of the only other girl like that's that's also not safe and then when you're looking for someone you can end up putting yourself in not super safe situations because the adrenaline's pumping you're like rushing like i've like gone into fucking alleys and shit that i'm like i'm not gonna go do that if i'm not looking you know i mean like so i've been putting myself in situations that might not be the safest because

i'm trying to find you so i think that that's it's inconsiderate i don't think it's malicious but i think i agree i think the response is um the biggest issue and i probably would not have this person be my going out buddy anymore no no no you gotta have somebody that's that's more responsible than this yeah all right my turn hi megan and melissa i need to know if i was wrong in this conversation I had with my boyfriend of three years, both 22. I went to lunch with a good friend of mine that recently broke up with her boyfriend of four years because of many reasons, but mainly because she wasn't in love with him anymore. She loved him and still cares about him, but didn't want to stay with him because she had the is this it realization. He said that it's

normal to not be in love anymore after a year. I said that I'm still very much in love with him now, maybe even more than three years ago. And I asked, do you not feel this way? A question I now regret very much. He said he loves me very much, but not in love with me anymore. I don't know why I just assumed he would feel the same way as me. We talked about it a little more, but I'm pretty upset about it. I know he loves me very much and our relationship is stronger than ever. We're even talking about moving in together. So this whole conversation just seems useless. This is my first relationship. He had two relationships before this one. I'm very much the sensitive feelings person in the relationship and he is more rational and shows less emotion. So maybe that has something

to do with it. Is he wrong for thinking it's normal not to be in love anymore after some time or do I just have a very skewed idea about how people feel in relationships? I need you guys big sister opinions. Love you both so much. The podcast just lights up my life. I don't know if I would say it's messed up. I just think that people have different relations, different definitions of what love, long-term love is. And I'm sorry that you're going through this, Some people are just comfortable being with somebody that they do truly love, but they're not falling more in love with them every day. I'm not that type of person. I feel like in a relationship, there's always still something new that you can learn about the other person. and it's like in like for me love is not just like something that just is like a noun it's a verb it's an actual feeling it's actions it's not just going through the motions of things and i it kind

of feels like like he does love you but he just isn't falling more in love with you is he wrong not necessarily because he was telling you the truth and would you have well i guess you would prefer to not have known what you said but like are you wrong for your feelings either no I'm just I'm sorry yeah I'm really sorry this would devastate me I agree with you like Melissa like I don't think love is a destination and you know him like right or like you know him so like you said that yeah you're more feelingsy he's a little bit more rational I would really look at this like big picture because a lot of people like you said have different definitions of love and to me it sounds like what he's describing is lust and versus love and he's using that as a euphemism

of in love or like loving someone because like being in love to some people he might think of that as like the courting phase or the lust phase or the chasing phase and like trying to like get all of this and like that kind of rush and the first date and the jitters and the butterflies and the nerves but that does go away like that's that becomes like comfortable and there's nothing wrong with comfortable and secure and for some people falling in love that's that's a time it's a time frame like that's like the small like that's like a okay i fell in love and then you're falling more in love and like that's not a sudden drop that's not like a roller coaster with a big dip like that's just like a steady pace throughout the rest of your life and it can feel really

different to a lot of people and so he might know that he loves you but not even realize that he is loving you more every single day but the action of wanting to be together that is that that is it so i think the question i would ask him is like what did you envision and this again i would go into it prepared for the answer but i would ask like what did you envision your like life and relationships like is this what you envisioned because if he was like oh this is always what I've wanted then I'm like okay so we have different definitions of like what that means like if this is what you saw as like your goal and this isn't because I think for you it feels like he's settling but I don't know that he feels like he's settling I think that like this might be

this might be it for him like this might be like what it it is and this is it and so I think it's hard when when someone is like using the terms kind of like rational some people are very literal i can fall into that category sometimes that like i will take what people say very literally and it can be having be a euphemism for something or it can be kind of more of a throwaway comment but like i will stick on it i would really kind of clarify that because we all have different ways of this and i don't know what his upbringing was or what his like family situation was or what his other relationships were like. There's something different about long-term relationships. And then I would also probably take inventory of your own life. Are you watching Love Island? Are

you watching people fall in love? Are your friends going on first dates? Are you hearing about all that butterfly and excitement thing? And you're feeling insecure about the comfortability of a relationship? And that's also very normal. I'll watch Love Island. I'm like, oh, I'll never have that again and like there's I don't want that more than what I have I want what I have more but I will not have that feeling I won't and like and and Mots and I will never be back like we will I will never experience our first dates again like I won't have that anymore and like I can miss and romanticize something that happened in my own life with the person that I ended up that that I'm that I picked that who we're going to end up together so I do want to say that this is a communication

error and i think even you saying that you wish you hadn't asked makes me you also think it's a communication error but just because the communication error doesn't mean that you can't ask for more clarity like there are times where like matz has said something or i have said something to him that was so not the fucking intention or not what i meant to say at all or how it was interpreted but it's not on me to just be like oh like yeah that's not what i meant get over it it's like no like that's those feelings even if that was not my goal like that was the result of this and so like those feelings are what we have to tackle not what I said like that's irrelevant like it's addressing the feelings there so I would I would keep on that until you do feel

comfortable or you decide that there's like a decision that you want to make but to me this just seems like a really shitty communication error and with a casualty of your feelings and I would convey that to him yeah and I wouldn't compare it to how you feel I would ask him more questions about like like him to describe this for him because it is a little bit more unique how he's talking and I don't think it's fair to compare it to yours because he's always going to fail by your own rubric and it's not about the wording it's about the the feeling behind it yeah because I I think the first time that I realized that people kind of have different definitions of what like love is was when I was like 14 and we were doing this project for English

class and we were paired up with people in our other, in another English class. And my, and what the other teacher was talking about how, like, we're reading something and they were comparing it to like, how like they love their husband so much. And, you know, they don't, they don't have like that, that same, like being in love with you feeling, but that's who that she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. Like that was it for her. And that's all she ever wanted. And then And my English teacher who have been married to her husband for 50 years, and he also was a teacher at the school. And she was like, that's so different for me because literally I walked into the break room and I saw my husband and I still got butterflies in my stomach. And so, you know, people just experience things differently.

Yeah. I hope this looks up and you're able to have a better understanding of each other. All right. So now it's time for another break. and we're back from our break and we are going to get into our final segment this is but are they wrong also known as rachel of the week vote of the week worst of the week where we nominate someone person blazer thing pop culture current events to publicly shame them on our podcast because that's why we have a podcast all right you're up i would like to nominate enemy of the podcast someone we have talked shit on for years on and off the mic i would like to nominate the weekend and a new nomination who is someone we've talked shit on off the podcast for years and years

and years sam levinson so uh if you're unfamiliar sam levinson you might know him from euphoria and if you you also might know him from his incredibly famous father and dare i say one of the worst nepo babies ever that has been unleashed onto our onto the world so there was a piece released in rolling stone about this show that they are making i feel like i've heard about it immensely maybe just because of where we are and the industry that we're in but if anyone hasn't heard it's called the idol and it's going to be on hbo allegedly and the log line they are the quote-unquote sick and twisted minds behind the again another quote sleaziest love story in all of hollywood those are hbo's words the storyline is follows like a pop star named jocelyn played

by lily rose depp as she navigates the seedy underbelly of the music industry and falls under the spell of tedros played by the weekend a mysterious owner of a popular la nightclub who secretly la nightclub who secretly runs a cult reminiscent of nexium and scientology so that's the premise of this it is supposed to be a young pop star superstar moving to la doing the music industry thing and getting caught up by essentially a cult leader based on two la industry cults that were very popular and remain popular in the entertainment industry like this isn't a documentary but it could be and i do want to note that i think the casting of lily rose depp is obviously not the most egregious thing about this but like if you ever wanted to

know like this is someone who grew up with johnny depp as a father and marilyn manson around her whole life like you decided to pick someone who has been surrounded by the most fucked up side of hollywood for her entire life to play a role of someone going through that exact same thing like okay for sure so there was this article in rolling stone where basically a good chunk of people who worked on the production of the show came forward privately anonymously and talked about the actual filming of this show so they don't even know what the final version is going to be like at all like it was there was reshoots the delays rewrites and one of the um people on the crew was quoted saying it was it was let's just say a shit show and as someone who knows

things about other sam levinson projects that has also been the word that has been described to you know convey other sets of theirs so last april the director of the idol was originally amy simons and she had done the girlfriend experience and she dies tomorrow so she suddenly exited with roughly 80 of the six episode series finished and hbo did somewhat address the news saying that they were having a major creative overhaul and then would be adjusting the cast and crew not really much of an explanation and this is pretty rare like they will recast someone if you do a pilot and they will have someone who's playing a role in the pilot and they just don't test that well or there's a conflict or something like that power

puff girls is the only thing recently that i know of that has been scrapped and that's just actors and then they're like reworking all of this like a lot of the time people do not invest that much money and then be like i'm gonna dip 80 of the way i haven't heard of that if it's i've heard of writers and then someone comes on and does rewrites or they shoot more they do edits like walking out from that as like a woman in film like you just have to know that has to be so bad so uh abel the weekend was the co-creator and his statement on this um or his reasoning for why she left was the show he felt the show was heading too much into a female perspective so uh they're only did interviews with 13 cast and crew and they did learn that the insane delay

was caused by Levinson, who took over and scrapped basically the entire thing. It was nearly finished $54 million to $75 million project. And he rewrote and reshot the entire thing. So, you know, he does what he does. He weakens the entire show's overall message. And based on what sources say, he has dialing up all of the disturbing sexual content and nudity. Many sources say that by dialing up the disturbing sexual content and nudity to match and to even surpass that of his most successful show euphoria so if anyone thought that there was way too many people playing underage high schoolers having graphic violent sex and in immense amounts of unnecessary nudity it's worse than this a production member quoted saying what i signed up for was a dark satire of fame and the fame model

in the 21st century, the things that we subject our talent and stars to, the forces that put people in the spotlight, and how that can be manipulated in the post-Trump world. However, they add, it went from satire to the thing it was satirizing. Sam Levinson famously doesn't write concrete scripts. He encourages actors to write their own lines and improv entire scenes. And I can't tell you, first of all, how lazy that is, how that is not an actor's job, how it is exciting and fun sometimes when you're doing a comedy or even a drama, if a director or a writer asks you if you want to ad lib a couple lines but it is not your job to write what you are doing then you have a whole other hat there that you're just trying to do one

of your jobs but it is especially incredibly fucked up when it is scenes about sexual assault and abuse that you're telling people to improvise and you're not writing scripts go for it who is the power in that fucking situation who knows when you're supposed to yell cut who knows when this is going to stop who's drawing the line in the sand here so you're asking someone to be like oh yeah this is not a concrete script come up with something in your mind of how you're going to abuse her and then do it and we'll film it and then you're asking them to have a normal relationship with each other as castmates when you're like cool so this person came up with this idea in their fucking head of how they're going to hurt me no he literally like scrapped

the entire approach the original approach to the story and making it way less about a troubled starlet falling victim to this predatory in industry and music and the sleaze of these hollywood cults and abuse and how people are taken advantage of and in that original version it's about like her reclaiming her agency and fighting against these these things and depicting it in an accurate way of like this is the shit that happens and it doesn't have to happen and people can have lives passes and grow through all of this stuff instead just makes it like an incredibly fucked up toxic love story where like the crew members are describing it as just being incredibly offensive and instead of it being look who she came look who she became and the circumstances

that she had to go through to get there and instead becomes look how hot this these circumstances are like this is hot this is sexy this is love this is like we love this shit and another production member was quoted saying it was like any rape fantasy that any toxic man would have in the show and then the woman comes back for more because it makes her music better. So both Abel and Levinson did not respond to the Rolling Stones' request for comment after they published this story.

However, Abel, The Weeknd, did post a clip of the show onto his Twitter account with the caption, Rolling Stone, did we upset you? And in the clip, I encourage everyone to watch it because there's also low-key a reason why Sam Levinson doesn't write his own scripts, really. And I think if you watch it,

you will be able to tell. And this is what I have to say. Some of those fucking kids on Euphoria, I cannot wait to watch them in other shit because I'm like, if you are able to deliver a good performance in these circumstances, how fucking incredibly talented are you going to be

when you have a circumstance that lets you just act? Like, that puts you in a safe place. Like, amazing. It's just so bad. like the weekend acting gives me like the similar vibes like youtubers doing boxing matches like it's just like i and he's like basically playing himself and lily rose depp is like basically playing herself and that it just is so gross and icky and uncomfy and the scene itself is so it's so so bad and so poorly done and it's just it's just not good it's just it's just not good

And I do think it is ironic and should be noted that both Lily Rose Depp and Abel, The Weeknd, have done Rolling Stone covers. And the senior Rolling Stone writer, Brittany Spanos, tweeted, Mind you, The Weeknd soft-launched his pivot to acting in a Rolling Stone cover story. And in the clip, they're talking shit on Rolling Stone, like, in the show. And I'm like, so did you already start by doing this? Or like, did you be like, okay, pick up production like right now, like everybody like smudge your eyeliner, throw on a chunky heel, get some like red tinted sunglasses and like, let's shoot that.

Let's shoot a clap back. And it's like, do you not know what people are talking? Like these crew members are talking about how this is like a rape fantasy TV show and it's incredibly offensive and toxic. And they were uncomfortable and didn't feel safe about the actors doing these things. And it was, these are things you're being accused of. And your response is to be, oh, you're lame. Like we think you're stupid.

it it's like it's really not how you quiet those rumors yeah when i first heard that these two were going to be working together i already knew it was going to be bad i immediately sent it to you yeah i sent it to you and i was like these two these two and nothing that has come out about this show is surprising because I knew who was behind it yep and you know we've said things about both of these people on and off air but mostly off air and now the things that we've talked about off air are coming to light and I just want more people to just realize that these are not good people no and this is not this is not a show that anybody should be watching or standing behind and hopefully HBO doesn't think that you know all press is good press even bad press and they don't

cut it from the schedule well because my question was maybe it was actually like a show time the show about like it was like the 70s kind of like not a porno show but it was like something like a racy magazine that was based on I think it was Lily Kaplan or the one who looks exactly fucking like her that I always think is Lizzie Kaplan but they were like the first show to have intimacy coordinators I want to say it might have been Showtime on HBO it feels like that would be a Showtime thing but I don't know yeah but like so Showtime and HBO have been I don't want to say neck and neck popularity wise but like content wise like you would know something's going to be a little more explicit it's going to be on showtime or hbo and the fact that like you know

one show started and pioneered this protecting actors and their safety and consent and making sure those lines aren't blurred because they are all the fucking time on shows and movies and then the other it's not taking a like a leaf out of that that book like it's just like are you talking about masters of sex yes yeah yeah showtime showtime yeah so like the idea that like they really did pioneer the requirement of an intimacy coordinator and all of that and their shows have not gotten less sexy they've gotten they're sexy and there's there's nudity they're racy but they're safer and the fact that that has not been implemented in that way like you should never be and like there are some claims from like people who've uh worked on euphoria and i can't corroborate

those claims but i can say that i've had that exact same experience but not on obviously on that show where you're having to get into a room with all of these like middle-aged like men and pitch why you shouldn't have to show parts of your body and like you try and convince them and you upsell them why they should write out this nudity scene or write out this incredibly sexy or racy scene and they're like okay convince me why and that's been speculated a lot that that was how actors in euphoria were and then think about how much nudity is still there and that's after they did a lot of negotiating to not have it there. And yeah, and I don't fault Zendaya for any of that,

like obviously, but there is, when you are that famous, you can have a no nudity clause in your contract and you will still book the job. And then it is the responsibility of the other female cast members to make up for that nudity. And I know that because I've literally had someone tell me that before,

that someone else had a nudity clause and I didn't. And so I had to make up for it. And I was like, oh, that's fucked. And like, it was never nearly as graphic as what they're doing. And I felt a lot safer, but still that's, I didn't feel a hundred percent safe and I felt uncomfortable. And I felt like the people looking out for me, weren't the people who were supposed to be looking out for me. Like I had people looking out for me, but it wasn't their responsibility. They were taking it on but that wasn't it wasn't above the line people no so i'm not shocked and i do think

if this does come out i don't think anyone should watch it like i i just think that like the tanking the numbers is the best way to reflect that like this is not what we want to see yep all right so here's mine it's fucked up as well so principal slash coach philip coons of ringling oklahoma and he's worked there since 2018 is my pick of the week rachel the week so on february 22nd he was put on paid administrative leave with an ongoing criminal investigation multiple students and parents were interviewed including susan lyle who she went before the school board on february 13th to voice her concerns about this dude to the board and the and this was like a meeting where they were voting on if he should keep his job and they

unanimously voted for this man to keep his job despite allegations it was five to zero to renew his contract. And so you're probably wondering what this man did. So he has, according to Susan Lyle, the parents wanted to have their issues heard at the school board meeting in hopes that the school board would handle it. And when they didn't, they went to the OSBI, which is the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation. And another man said this man's abuse of power weeks of psychological torture of these students. For two years, my son has begged us to stay quiet for fear of retaliation, especially after having to do naked up-downs. So up-downs, in case you don't know, they're also known as burpees, where a person jumps up and then jumps down into a push-up

before doing a jump and jack. And he was making these students, these boys, as a form of punishment to do their exercises naked is he a pe teacher as well he's a coach he's a football coach okay and the principal and one of the uh student athletes said they were made to exercise naked as punishment and quote we did so many that day it went to the extent that some of the guys were talking about having turf burn on their genitals the next day. And then Cameron Spradling, an attorney representing the victim, shared a statement on Tuesday on Twitter from this Oklahoma State Conference NAACP, which called for an investigation into the abuse claims. The NAACP chapter stated its intentions to file an administrative complaint with the U.S. Department of Education

Office of Civil Rights. In the statement, the NAACP cited allegations from students saying Kuhn used racial slurs about players and referees and made monkey noises. The Ringling State District, the Ringling School District also failed to enforce and ensure that the students did not experience a hostile environment because of their race, sex, or gender identity. There is a group of current and former students who have firsthand experience with the harmful consequences of the hostile environment that are detailed in the report. And some of the students have said that they just felt numb to it. It became so normalized with us because of how often it happened, the verbal abuse and the constant cussing. And surprise, this isn't the first time that Koons

has been accused of misconduct. He worked at another school before being hired at Ringling called Clinton, following incidents with players where he took out his penis on a bus and said, boys, this is a dick. You got to have one of these to play football. And this was in 2016, before he was even hired at the school. And there was an investigation done. And this investigation with the oklahoma council of public affairs said that they couldn't find any wrongdoings even though several students said that he did this so he also said to them and this is i just want to say like this is why you should read multiple sources because i this is like six different sources and none of them had all the same information i pulled from six different sources also he

pulled out his penis on another occasion and said this is what a real man looks like and one of the students said he wanted to commit suicide after the harassment so okay i don't want this to sound like a fucked up question so i'm gonna preface it with why i'm asking it first i mean i've said this before and i don't know why anyone would be like principals have power trips like there's just and i think this is someone who like i've had fucking mad beef with principals that i had growing up And then I also have people in my life who work in school systems who deal with those principals and they do a lot of fucked up shit. Like it's, it's truly like a power, a power position where you can just be an asshole

for like no reason, but principals are definitely protected, but coaches are protected even more. And specifically football coaches are so widely protected because schools get funding and all of that. Are they ranked pretty high? Like athletic wise? i don't know but i can look it up because that's something that like that would make i mean none of this obviously makes sense to me and i wouldn't be surprised at all if they weren't and they still

hired him because they're like well he's available it's like we'll see why he's available they are they're uh 13 and one and then seven oh district so yeah it adds a whole other psychological aspect to like the kids experiencing this abuse because they're depending on what the funding is like and where they grow up like football is you'll you i mean you see a lot of abuse in every sport but like football is a sport where like kids are taken out of poverty like and if you're good you're gonna go to you're gonna full ride to fucking college you might not be able to go to college otherwise you're gonna play like you're gonna change your fucking life based on your skill set and based on how you do in your school sanctioned high school fucking like so like there is that

power there so not only is it like oh do i hold all of this power as being like your principal and being your coach and all of that. But it's like, I also hold your future. Right. I wish we didn't have to do this, but I wish that like we operated on constantly calculating power and balances and looking at positions

where people hold a lot of power and then being like, oh yeah, we need to be doing inventory and constantly aware. Like, no, not everybody's going to be treated equal here when you have this much power and you're monopolizing power in that sense. And it's like, okay, no,

you've got too much power here. And we also need to be able to keep checking back in with with people like that like this shouldn't happen to obviously this shouldn't happen to anyone it shouldn't happen to kids and it shouldn't happen to kids who are their schools are benefiting from them using their bodies in football and then the people who are telling them how to use their bodies in football are also abusing their bodies yeah and then when parents complain they're like oh whatever still voted to keep it and they had to ratchets this up to the NAACP yeah this is it's just disgusting and I also I want to commend that

the student athletes that were able to step up but like and and show their faces on the news but also I know that they're facing repercussions but also those that couldn't speak you know like they like i said there were some of them that feel suicidal and this is sickening for them and they have a lot riding on them like if they see this as their like you were saying before their ticket to college that's just really really sad absolutely fucked wow that's awful well thank y'all for listening tomorrow there won't be a vote for fisting friday but you know still tune in because we didn't have an episode the week before but still tune in we'll be gabbing away but you know we'll be back with votes next week for this episode if you leave a review we

would love that on the podcast app wherever you listen to podcasts support the patreon you can always tag us in things on our personal tiktoks or on twitter instagram that you want us to cover on the show or send a slide into our dms it also doesn't have to be a nomination for like rachel of the week worst of the week it can just be even a hot topic or you know anything plus we talk about things on fishing friday episodes as well and let us know yeah let us No, that is it. Okay, everybody. Well, circle back.

Circle back. Bye. But Am I Wrong is a production by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa Demonts, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. And production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. Thank you.