Don't Blame Me! - But Am I Wrong Results: Disapointment

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

WISH MEGHAN A HAPPY BIRTHDAY Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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about them and they're ready to dick you down. Yeah, and they're trying to discredit that man and I'm like, leave him alone. Let him speak his truth. And also, actually I did see someone who said that like anytime that the U.S. government starts talking about aliens it's like to distract us or make other things happening and i was like okay sounds plausible but i don't like that like i would just rather like us be excited about the aliens and not be like don't look over there there's always other things happening so you just have to stay alert stay woke would you say no just alert okay i'll work on it okay welcome to because i feel like you're woke but you're not alert first of all factual and also if you want to say am i awake

no i'm asleep i'm not alert and i'm asleep woke sure in the republican sense republican i have i haven't called woke by a republican or two or a dozen well welcome to fisting friday i hope you are ready to get fisted on this fine fine friday and do you know what this friday is today go check out our instagram because there may well maybe if you're listening to this let's say in new zealand probably not yet yeah diana hold your fucking horses but uh everyone else you know what it's gonna hit midnight because i figured out that you can schedule things now oh genius yes it's my birthday sorry it's me it's a malio season i just had to steamroll if y'all can't see my face they can't because we're not filming physically recoiled because i was about to say it and

she blocked me it is august 1st the day we're recording it so you told me that i had to wait until august because i said yes it's my birthday i was like it's birthday month and you were like july has a couple more days not anymore not anymore you're fresh in it right now as you're hearing this it is megan's birthing she has reached her 30s congratulations thank you so much i was texting um people i know who are who like turned 30 this year and i was like so how is it was did did 13 going on 30 like give you all of like the correct expectations everyone's like it's literally the same i was like okay i feel like it's a better time i was gonna say because like the only other time that i can compare this to is like when i turned 20 and you know i mean

like a whole new era and it's just like well 20 to 20 like a lot of shit fucking happened and so i'm like i'm not gonna redo any of that in my so i'm like i'm hoping things are fresh and new fun freaky depending on um so it's my birthday go follow me on instagram it's my birthday present social media and i promise you everybody that's listening to this is already following you okay well i appreciate that you're probably right they're not following me but they are following you and go follow melissa but also if you've got hey maybe you have like a burner account or even like another random account and you're like i don't follow her there follow me there at least engage with my birthday content hopefully i'm doing a birthday vlog is it gonna

be live god no that's what i'm saying so they got a few days to follow no no yeah totally but like you know check the instagram i have like big plans for what i'm doing and i will be at the arrows tour maybe by the time you're listening to this every time you say i know you're saying errors like five seconds after you say it but i before i think you're saying arrows and i'm like the fuck is that you know enunciation has never been my strong suit and hearing has never been my strong suit either together what a combo we're just ready and prepared except the opposite of that um so we're gonna read the results from last week's episode of but am i wrong and pretty stoked about it and yeah this is episode 74 shall we hop in yes we shall bunny hop with it

my hot take is mermaids are real 18 percent said i was wrong which fucking haters and also do you hate fun like do you just you just live in reality must be boring but 82 percent we see each other on this megan is not wrong and i'm not wrong because you know what i found this photo on canva and you need to tell me canva photos are not real you mean this would be staged of course not if you write in to us and say that we should watch a tv show can't say what it is if it is about marisa chances are i have seen it uh somebody said we know more about space than we do about oceans only about five percent of the oceans have been mapped and explored i fully believe there are mermaids in the 95 we haven't seen yet i wholeheartedly agree because what we're just

saying there's nothing that like 95 we're not even failing we're like beyond failing this is like you'd have to retake the class if we got five percent yeah i was sold with the theory that mermaids are real and resemble deep sea creatures etc but when you started talking about shape-shifting you lost me okay you know what i don't need you to be with me for the whole time but like as long as you're there but i feel like i kind of egg that in there and also like if you let me keep talking like my i'm gonna end up somewhere completely different people like okay was there no longer with you that's fine you were there at once so i'm counting you forever it's fine you're on my team and then some people that's all the brightness that we had that i saw

should we explain yeah that's what i was about to say some people asked melissa i think i didn't hear yours where's the voting well you didn't hear it so there was no voting uh and the reason is that the circumstances in which the thing that i talked about drastically changed and so we had to cut it out yeah and it wasn't salvageable because no it would we had totally different not totally different takes but like you know something else is not you're not nominated but like it would have been a whole different your thesis was different yes which i still stand by the thing that I said, but it just, there would be more that I would need to explain. Yeah. But you'd need to include the other, it would have been, yeah, it had been very long and, um, it was

very quick when, when the shift had happened. So like day before. Yeah. So there wasn't time, nor was there mental energy or brain power to like add on a whole different, an additional, all of the stuff so that was scrapped um so you did not um accidentally just miss it everybody writer number one versus boyfriend who made the writer feel shitty and manipulated two percent said the writer is wrong 98 said the writer is not wrong did any of the writers wrongs write in or just say my b that was an accident i did see a couple but okay because there's only four votes for that i saw a couple because that pisses me off writer if you're listening fuck those people if they voted it on purpose then we have writer

number two versus co-worker and their disappointment that the writer didn't join their bike gang i love the way that i rewarded this i like there's something about like it's like a little treat for me before the audience gets it and i'm like five percent said the writer is wrong 95 said the writer is not wrong we have an update from the radar okay biker gang vroom vroom this is me this guy seems really social but he's only been married for one year thank you for verifying he's weird and i had the crying face laughing emoji i work with him on a project twice a year i haven't seen him since the email and probably won't have a work contract with him until november but i have seen quote unquote wendy his wife she said hello but she didn't mention bike club at all i have

not been back and won't be back i bike to work alone and that's enough for me another crying laughing emoji facey thing i'll just stick to running i don't need to join the cult i'm sorry you are a biker and a runner that's triathlon do you swim too if you've ever heard me say like negative things about triathlons just know i specifically usually mean men who do triathlon i'm just like shocked like what do you think the likelihood of you joining a real cult is because you're in like two what crossfit like you're in two of the three athletic cults unless you just do them alone you know totally like they're fine with riding their bike alone and they might be a solo runner too yeah so there's i only think there's two kinds of runners there's either like

you're a culty runner and you're like you're going to like absolutely wreck your body for this and it's like the dedication or you're like you know uh there's one person it's my god tiktok who just like takes edible like he like takes gummies before he runs and so he's like no and he's my stomach would be so messed up so he like everybody's like okay now try three and he was like guys like i don't and three yeah so he took three before the run it was like i don't but he's like just giggling and then kind of it's it's the same kind of person who like runs who doesn't have the right shoes and they like let their arms kind of flap in the wind and like frolic exactly and that to me i'm like it's the exact opposite of a culting runner like it is just this is need-based

and um soul-based this isn't like we're timing ourselves we're just my body says run and here i am flying through the wind yeah all right wrong of the week in and out who was wrong 95 said that in and out is wrong five percent said in and out is not wrong i didn't see anybody right in the well we have a you know someone who is already restricted who voted and their bio says jesus first health and safety second that was the subtitle i added but the implication is there then my wrong of the week i nominated bob eiger bobby bob bobby bob and 98 said bob is wrong two percent said bob is not wrong someone said he looks like he eats a lot of bush's baked beans and to that that i take offense because i'm pretty fucking fire baked beans i like

baked beans especially when you put some barbecue sauce in it bacon oh no not bacon i'm not a bacon person i like bacon on its own i do not like it touching anything else i don't like it in beans i don't like it in burgers what about like a pancetta like a thick because i know i hate pancetta with a passion okay that's fair but what about hot dogs and baked beans oh phenomenal no like truly drizzle that on a hot dog oh my god like some slaw as well i just like think that like where's the goop article about baked beans and hot dogs like i just think that like someone needs to make this the new matcha maybe this is what our thing will be what i don't know but it's non-goop but oh yeah we just become influencers for the small niche things that we like that we

feel which is exactly what she does honestly yeah different tax brackets different motives different intentions and different goals she's here being like my enzymes and i'm here being like we're like hot dogs yeah heavily processed meats and she goes are bad and we're go delicious yes amazing perfect wonderful i feel like she like a hot dog without a doubt that bitch loves a hot dog and then someone else wrote okay who the actual fuck is saying pop isn't wrong he's making 400 times more than some of his employees ridiculous yeah yeah but also to that i will say people if you're voting early the numbers are skewed because when they voted it was way higher than so just keep that in mind when you're voting if you vote early the numbers

a little skewed check back 20 hours later i am confused the person who voted that like bob is not wrong and in and out is not wrong i'm like was this an accident i was like thinking i was like what if like we just started wearing heels on the show well our feet are rarely i know but just like full outfits we just start wearing gowns beautiful gowns i don't want to say that sorry that was a diss that aretha franklin gave to your favorite singer oh my god for a second also didn't oh my god i almost did something so bad i almost said didn't aretha franklin say that to ariana grande too and i was like no no ariana grande just wore the mini the

the club mini dress to her funeral and i was like no she loved ariana no and like everybody like when she wore that like half people were like oh my god why is she wearing that everyone's like low-key everything would have been like yeah do it do it i love it i don't think aretha would have um stood by her and her dating choices right now and i have different expectations for reason like i never once have i said that i don't adhere to double standards like i do like i have double standards enjoy people's music but like not stand with who they are totally and you know i i respect my elders yeah like i'm not about to like no i'm not there are some people where i'm like you've earned whatever you're doing you know and maybe the youth will say that about ariana

grande yeah but i'm not i'm not the youth yeah i don't know how much staying power she'll have i don't know either and because what's she what's she gonna shapeshift into by that point and her albums are hit or miss well yeah and songs on even some of the hits are like i'm just like that tongue didn't exist like i just move on you know past it but i just like wonder like do you think by the time she's like 80 she's gonna be like living life like alphaba like she's painted her body green like what left or recycling from the beginning so yes what i mean like she's gonna be like i'm one of you like if it has been like yeah yeah she she might i think like in her 50s she might have like a resurgence in like cheetah print and big gold like her boca

she goes back to her real roots her boca era yeah and then she's gonna be like but she's just gonna be performing all her old songs okay and it's just like we're living for the music and the like the nostalgia the nostalgia but like do you think she's gonna cycle through her ethnicities again or do you think she's gonna like find new ones i think what she'll do is she'll dig so deep into her italian like but it won't be like the actual italian that she's from don't be italian american yeah she'll be she'll be giving jersey uh-huh yeah she'll be where she's from she's from boca florida oh like old people boca big earrings for some reason i thought she was north no like canada no not canada but like jersey buffalo okay yeah yeah yeah no she's

she's she's boca okay and boca's where like as someone who has family in florida like yes florida is like the the state of old people but like boca oh i know best vintage shopping in areas where it's just exclusively old people so um yeah i could see that i could see that like cheetah print bell bottoms you know lots of bangle like big chunky like bracelets that make a lot of noise um medallion necklaces yes yeah and flat all the time pointed to a flat patent leather everything tattooed eyeliner yeah um smudged lipstick red wine stained teeth and you're going a little too far from me okay and just chanel number five anyways um well we hope you enjoyed this episode of fisting friday and happy birthday to me i hope you get fisted

um okay so i'm not really super into doing that on my birthday and super implies that you might be into it no but i'm just like constipated right now so like in theory right now as we're recording this if i think about fisting it's like a tiny little enema like that's not as bad but i don't want to get fisted why not um it there is just nothing well birthday surprise you know how some people don't like giving blowjobs but they'll do it on their partner's birthday you know i have could be your birthday surprise no there'd be a really bad surprise i would hate that surprise i'd be like no one should ever be fisted by surprise it needs to be first of all there's so much prep that goes into it that i don't even know how well that would work like you can't no

and like my body still isn't recovered from the people installing our ac being there like my my my poop schedule is still not recovered so i don't need a fist um thrown in the mix there okay well so i'm glad you all know that information now about me happy birthday to me goodbye Thank you.