Don't Blame Me! - But Am I Wrong? Results: Kissing Mother on the Lips

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

Meghan and Melisa read the results from But Am I Wrong: Kissing Mother on the Lips Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

we're back for fisting friday it sounds like you're gonna say we're here for fucking friday and i was like we're not that crass we never say fucking friday it's fisting friday like it's a little bit more nuanced it's a little bit more um ambiguous like you're like fisting now fucking is by far more ambiguous word than fisting fisting gives you like a a visual but you don't know what can we say where it's storytellers you don't know you don't know what orifice is going into you don't know maybe it's just going into quicksand maybe it's going into regular sand maybe it's just a fist bump oh I taught my nephew had a fist bump and then we go afterwards he's obsessed we did

it for like an hour straight yesterday and I was like okay this is the last one and then after he goes we are done doing that it went bye-bye maybe we will try again tomorrow I was like love the verbal processing like you're to understand that we are done for today it was so funny and he also just started getting a little stronger with the fist bumps and I was like okay you're not like punching my hand like we're just we're tapping and then we're bumping not we're punching exactly i'm like and then we're having a fake explosion but he's three so he's just like yeah and me and my three-year-old she's into playing baby like where you pretend to be a baby and so she got a doll that has a fake little pacifier and she'll put it in my mouth

and then i have to fake cry and then she'll go what's wrong and i'm like i'm a baby i can't tell you or she'll take it and put it in her own mouth then lay on the floor and just move her arms around and go and then i have to get up and pick her up like a baby we he literally went through that exact same phase and it's so funny to watch like you know from an adult perspective i'm like yes you were smaller back then but like you're still a baby to me but exactly I'm not a baby anymore like that's a baby and it's like literally like oh I will rub your tummy like oh baby baby and I'm like this is literally you like I love that you just moved on from this era of your life like so quickly but like it's you're still a child you're still a baby it's so cute though

it is but we did do it for hours just as you did your fist bumping yeah that's i will say that like i've thought about this before and like specifically this trip if i had gone to college and i came from family money or i didn't need money um i would i i think i would have crushed it as a preschool teacher because like i can teach you about feelings i can teach you about the non-tangible things i can teach you about morals and and your ethics i i can't teach you um how to read uh because sometimes i don't know if i know how to read and i also can't teach you anything that will be you'll be tested or graded on but i like half of the sensory shit like he was playing with a rice like rice in a tray with like trucks and i was like what are we doing here

I was there for hours like I wasn't even I was having so much fun like I just I love I also love like watching um watching like little kids like you can like it's like you can see the cogs in their brain turning when they hear you say something and then they like repeat it and then they get more comfortable saying it and then they start to like notice it in other places and it reminds me I'm like oh I can also do that like look how quickly they can adapt and shift and change based on like new information or their environment or whatever it is to the people that they trust and I'm like oh and as adults we just are like so stuck in our own ways like this is like so it's so cool and they're so excited to like learn new things and then show you that

they've learned new things and it makes me like I like I want to be more like you even though you're three and um today today he came in from the walk and it was like I have to wash my hands because i forgot we do not touch poop and i was like okay oh i was like you know what i'm i'm older i'm i'm good with not getting back to that mindset like i'm glad i remember not to um i've yet to have that intrusive thought yeah that's smart the poop childlike wonder yeah it's a beautiful thing beautiful thing um especially did you cook anything i did not um i've been absolutely dead the altitude uh i didn't realize the altitude was totally getting into me except my nose has been bleeding profusely and i've had like a

constant migraine um and then i posted a tiktok of me getting ready for christmas and someone was like oh my god like you panting while doing your makeup like this is like so relatable and i was like didn't even realize i was panting um so uh but tonight is i'm actually making um my shall i say famous i've made it what three times um my potato kielbasa and kale soup so during our break between recording two of the episodes we recorded today or i guess this is the fourth but but in our recording day during our little lunch break i ate my gluten-free dairy-free pizza and i peeled some potatoes to prep and once we're done with this i will start that soup so i'm excited for people wonderful have it i think i thought you were gonna say potato salad

no also i'm too young i am i'm the second youngest person here so like a i should not be next to a baby also yeah yeah also it is it is cold out and as we know a potato salad is a potato fully dressed with her petticoat with her little Bo Peep outfit with that little is that a walking cane or like a sheep herding cane? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Oh, it's like a shepherd's cane. Yeah. Is that for walking assistance or for like an orchestra conducting? I think it's for herding the sheep. It has a little hook where you can hook the neck if they're not going in the right place.

oh okay okay okay so it's like a hands-on orchestra guy with like the little thing it's not just a pointer for direction you can use it physically no um i have no idea what i was saying before little boat he everything that i just said could have been a lie i don't know anything about hurting sheep but that's just what i feel like i believed you and i think because it has a hook at the top and you it's not it's too high for you to hold that part and i can't imagine that like every single person it was like a prerequisite of being a sheep herder that like you needed stability because you had a bad back or whatever like it doesn't seem ergonomical as a walking stick but how did we get here you're talking about

uh potatoes oh my god i have my mind like i know that like football players are the ones who like they want to study for like that thing that happens to your brain when you've had too much contact sports i just want to know if anybody wants to take my brain when i die just for like shits and gigs like let's unpack that see what's in there like i just feel like you would hope you would crack my noggin up and inside you would see like a jackson pollock like finger painting like it would just be or like it would be like an edc light show like it would be weird and i think that someone might care about it somewhere um yeah so no of course i'm not making potato salad uh it's cold out and i am i did not live through the great depression so how many people i've did

Melissa that is a combination of my worst two things it's time time sequences numbers and history like I don't fucking know I don't know the Great Depression was from 1929 to 1939 so yeah my dad was not even alive yet yeah so i think no what's 1939 what do you mean what's 1939 well i don't know you mean like how the question was phrased in 1930 yeah i'm looking to see how old that person would be 83 oh they're definitely people alive and they're great to pray i said survivors i said how many i mean how many people in comparison with the rest of the people

i would say that the the data is probably skewed in um the young favor yeah i'd say because i'm pretty sure back then that was also um unleaded gas and i think there was a there's a there's a lot a lot what do you mean unleaded gas the gas i'm saying no not unleaded gas um um leaded leaded gasoline and okay i'm saying people who have survived like 283 and all of all of the fucking health shit that we've learned and all this time seat belts all of those things that's probably like wildly impressive i mean it is wildly impressive you know yeah um i think i say this often but they were walking around like on opium and cocaine like in their beverages so we literally talked about that at dinner last night really no literally it was like

his mom and her sister talking about like what um they used to like give kids for colds and things and about how you didn't even have to like get a prescription to the pharmacy and like half the shit like had like they were just like talking about like all of this stuff we were like holy shit yeah that's so funny yeah it's wild it's it is it is wild oh what a time anyways um My deepest apologies, everybody, for getting the voting up so late. I know I primed you all to say that it's the holidays and not this specific past episode. I was going to get it up late, but it was later than any of us could have anticipated. I posted it on Tuesday, the day that we recorded this.

So depending on Melissa's schedule, without a doubt, I'm going to be there. I'm going to be reading you the results tomorrow, but it'll be here, but it'll be edited in. but I'm just going to be recording it tomorrow. Melissa might be available to also join me. Yeah. I may not be around. I may be. We'll see.

So she's going to be here at least for the intro and the outro. And you're going to have to keep listening for the results to find out if it's just me delivering a comedy special solo, which was legitimately the entire drive of me to Colorado. Like I was just like, Matz was like, yeah, no,

it helps when you talk. I just, I can't really respond. and so I have never in my life performed so hard like I felt like I was back in my fifth grade days starring in Frampton the musical about the three-legged cat like I was just carrying it I was trying actually I really didn't carry Frampton I carried um crazy for you that was so it was definitely a little bit more uh in my favor but um so we'll see for everybody's sake um I I'm I I I'm I'm hoping that you're gonna be happy with whatever you get because that's what

you got your hair looks really nice today by the way looks good is this when did you do well no you got your haircut it's been before i left so never mind i was just gonna say is this the first time you've styled it since you got a cut nope you've seen it styled last week i styled it last tuesday look at the video you got your haircut on thursday it was friday the friday before we recorded last i don't know why i'm like confused i'm always confused i need to do that my default needs to be confused about the order of things that happened in life well it looks great it looks great before but it looks great today thanks it's a full-time job video from last week if you need a refresher of how it looked i will better last week now we'll say this has

been slept on i don't know what's going on in the rest of the house but you know who hasn't been slept on well no i was gonna say you but then that just sounds it sounds i was seeing where this was gonna go no it was i was trying to give you like a hyping up compliment but i realized in saying that it it does it does sound like there's another meaning and it doesn't sound kind it doesn't sound kind of judgmental so i refrained but instead i explained the whole thing deal uh-huh okay shall we get to the results yeah hi oh my gosh hey everyone wow okay i guess i shouldn't make this like an intro intro because uh we already did that and i'm just recording the results it's just me here megan so sorry

everybody to disappoint you but don't worry she'll be back for the outro so excuse me as i just tap through all of these we're gonna read the results for episode 53 first up me and my hot take was sharing isn't broken up into bragging or complaining three percent said i was wrong 97 said i was not wrong and then someone did dm me and say megan like stop pushing your agenda and then they said jk but i definitely forgot i talked about this on the podcast and i was like oh my god what is this agenda we're talking about but it's because we ran on the joke next up melissa and her Christmas hot takes. Who was wrong? Melissa was wrong? 11%? Wait, was this New Year's or Christmas hot takes? Christmas? Christmas, right? Okay, well, I wrote Christmas on here.

Who knows? 11% said Melissa is wrong and 89% said Melissa is not wrong. Got to assume those 11%. That was all an accident, wasn't it? She's never wrong. Then we've writer number one versus Troy, who hasn't paid back sharpay for a group trip now uh if you followed the stories quickly or not quickly uh promptly then you will have seen i issued a correction because melissa told me on air that she did the parentheses sharpay parentheses check the spelling and i just copied and pasted and put that right in there so it literally says check the spelling which was a note to me in in this so if you can tell where my brain is at 13 said writer and sharpay are wrong and 87 said troy is wrong oh wait hold on we got an update let me find that let me find that

why am i like panting i've never done this by myself before you all like this is really stressful okay hi megan melison melison no sorry i read ahead hi megan and melissa technically they said hey zeke here get it first off i sincerely apologize for the missed opportunity to reference the iconic cinematic performance number we're all in this together it was an oversight i made never recover from. We appreciate that. I want to update you on the Troy and Sharpay situation and clarify some questions you had. In total, the amount Troy had owed Sharpay for the trip was $1,600. Holy shit. He did pay back a little bit before the trip, but like I said, he had completely stopped making payments once we got back from the trip. Oh. I also wanted to clarify that when

Sharpay does put expenses on her card, our fourth friend and I almost always send the money to her before she books anything. My husband did agree with most of what you said and strongly believes that Troy will grow to resent us if we keep planning trips. I often ask him to hang out and no-cost situations but he typically turns it down now for the update troy and i were talking and he mentioned he purchased concert tickets for 650 oh my fucking god just a few days ago he started talking about paying back sharpay and how it wasn't a priority at the time but he would eventually get her money we had a deep discussion about trust and the conversation ended on he'll get her the money when he can since then he has made two payments to completely pay off sharpay to me

this basically shows that he could have done it the whole time and just chose not to this situation brought a lot of other frustrating things to light with troy and made me reevaluate how close of friends we actually are thanks so much for the advice my husband and i had so much listen fun listening and debating the topic further with both of your inputs in the mix oh my god yeah i yeah i would i would have i would have reevaluated my friendship with him too that's fucking annoying okay now we've read number two sorry i'm panting for versus not writing a complaint against the tech that was told let me read that again everyone i'm so sorry writer number two versus not writing a complaint against the tech that told the writer to lose weight. 11% said the writer is wrong and

89% said the writer is not wrong. A lot of people also suggested like, you know, you report to the board, but depending on where you are, you can also sometimes report them to their medical school or wherever they got their credentials from. Then we've read number three versus a boyfriend who kisses his mom on the lips. 8% said the, nope, 9% said the writer is wrong and 91% said the boyfriend and mom are wrong i thought this was going to be much more controversial than it was all i'm going to say is i really thought we were going to get some more discussion or more pushback on the boyfriend who kisses mom on the lips so i guess i guess we're kind of all in this together did you catch that seek then we've read number four versus not going back on decision to move

away from roommate. 4% said the writer is wrong, and 96% said the writer is not wrong. See, I low-key thought the writer was wrong, so this is interesting for me to see that we disagree. Then we have wrong of the week. I nominated the Emory nurses. 98% said they are wrong, and 2% said they're not wrong, and I'm hoping you five people accidentally voted that, because good god, I know, I know that all bitches are nurses but not all nurses are bitches but don't further the stereotype then finally melissa's wrong of the week bloggers that call themselves journalists 94 said journalists are wrong six percent said journalists are not wrong and i put journalist in quotation marks and a lot of people said they accidentally voted wrong for this and just want to say love love love

megan stallion we love her so much we stan her and uh you know always and forever okay back to um the duo goodbye well not goodbye you know what i mean wow wow incredible so fantastic amazing cool we hope you all enjoyed love when you vote sorry it went up late i will do better um eventually maybe this time for this week's episode we're still on again we're still on holiday time yeah hit me up in 2023 okay 2023 i mean first week of 23 23 still on holiday time hit me up on um i'm gonna be mentally back uh with the asterisk of as much as i can possibly be i'm i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna be back to um i don't know if i've ever been

that mentally there but i i'm not even going to be be making an effort until um january 9th i almost said july 9th that's when i'll be back in la so that makes the most sense to me that's perfect it's like you know the seasons change like all if this was a movie that would be the symbolism like you're arriving back in la and it's recalibrating the whole city to be ready to rise and grind yeah yeah yeah yeah okay well all right hope you enjoyed being fisted thoroughly have a terrific weekend so i'm gonna leave it with this tweet from caleb harron who i love caleb fantastic hilarious comedian caleb i melissa i have shown you no no no what was the last name again i don't know how to pronounce anything how'd you spell

heron oh here i had a friend i had a friend in college whose name is caleb baron so i thought that's what you did it's in high school i should say high school actually go ahead his tweet do not listen to the do nothing between christmas and new year's people they aren't billionaires they want to see you fall off i'm working my ass off right now trading bitcoin and reading instagram graphic toys from alpha male influencers i'm hustling harder than ever and caleb i respect your journey and i aspire to be an alpha male like you one day huh all right have a blessed day and a happy new year we'll see you in new year 2023 Thank you.