Don't Blame Me! - But Am I Wrong Results: Puss Pooped On My Partner

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Meghan and Melisa read the results from But AM I Wrong: Puss Pooped On My Partner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

yo yo yo yo yo give me a beat you failed i was going to sing i was gonna say i sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker but i was like i don't want to get copyrighted but you also weren't giving me a beat you're just quoting a beyonce line um because i know my place first of all It's the birthday month, and look at me. Look at me. You think I can beatbox? The kind of beatboxing I'm doing is pentatonics beatboxing.

I don't know why I thought you were going to say penetration and not pentatonics, but probably because you know what today is. Fisting Friday. Yes. So I should make it known to everybody that I have a question, and I have a question for you too, Melissa. Okay. so we'll get into like what we've been doing and life and stuff on monday nope that's a lot on

tuesday on um see you next tuesday but it's a little teaser i'm doing something that is like kind of accidentally work related and talking to someone and they were like asking me like what i do what i do for fun like what i do career wise and all that stuff and i was talking about how i have a podcast and they were like what's the podcast about i was like you know sex and they're like i got that vibe and i was like we haven't talked about sex at all and they're like no they're just like you know you've got the personality for like one of those things and they're like i mean as a compliment and i was like okay what did this person look like like from a scale from one to ten or no like physically what did they look like

i wasn't offended by the statement that's not answering the question though like a a shorter man okay how old was he probably like 30s no yeah probably mid to late 30s okay you know it was very much like you know straight shooting i didn't know if he was hitting on you no no no no no no no not at all and i would and i also didn't know if he was a creepy old man no no i would have led with that i would have led with it because if it had been from like anyone else i would have been like but like but i was like no knowing the audience is a person who also listens to podcasts and like this person i've been talking for like you know hours just like getting to know each other and they're like yeah you're very much let me be entertaining

and also brutally honest and they were like yeah this i was like dating and sex and relationships I'm sorry that yeah that's exactly what I would have guessed I was like okay cool amazing maybe I should lead with that because my uncle was very adamant on listening to this show and my cousin and cousin-in-law technically um were like absolutely not and Danny was like I listened to it it was too much for me pops don't listen to it and he's like but what is it about and he kept pushing and we were just like it's not something that an uncle should be listening to just tell him that the friday episode is called fisting friday he probably wouldn't even get that and then i'd be like now that's an issue this is this is the indicator that you should not

be listening if you don't know what that is yeah if you're related if you don't know what it is you're not related to us like feel free to come learn all aboard well he is a professor so like he is about learning so but sometimes curiosity you don't need to learn about people yes you're related to i know i was like everybody even my um best friend that's a cousin but he is a um boy man whatever i don't know when you're people you grew up with i it's weird no they're not men like they're literally still boys like i won't even call my sisters like women or like the girls there's boy cousins and there's girl cousins and he was like I listened for about five minutes and was like that's not something that a cousin needs to hear

and you know that's fair and I have a lot of like I'm learning as time goes on that there are other people that I'm realizing now I feel weird listening to the podcast like I forget we don't exist in a vacuum I do too um and now I know I know that my friend CJ is regularly listening and he just pop he'll pop up with things and was like the last thing that he sent was like you were perfectly spot on with that description of what um Sunny D tastes like you know and you just don't know who you're touching and impacting when we make this content like we don't know who's resonating with it and like now I've said that the people I need to stop like with I love how much they love me and I love how much they're like just talking about like all the wonderful

things that I do um but I I do need months to stop telling people that I have a podcast without giving a really lengthy precursor because I'm like babe you don't listen enough to know what you are recommending to people same with my dad his friends are always asking and i'm like no yeah yeah it's it's it's a lot i will say my future mother-in-law she she's like i really like go based on like the tie i'll like read the description like sometimes but my future sister-in-law when people are like oh we hear that megan has a podcast she goes it's not free like to her parents she goes you i don't and they were like i don't know i feel like and she goes That's exactly what they always say.

Listen, she's like, I don't want to know that you've, like, I don't want you to talk about it. Yes. I was like, yeah, it's, and I, you know, again, sometimes I just fucking, I fucking forget the things that we share. Me too. Publicly. Because it's just like we're talking, because we talk like this on and off camera. And it's like, oh God, there were people there who heard that, who then might know us in real life. yikes well before we get into the fisting of today i would like to discuss something that

was from yesterday's episode even though we will do the votes next week but i just feel like it'll be old news by the time we get there this episode came out um when you're listening to it yesterday and Yelena Ostapenko is someone else that is crying over Coco because these bitches are so obsessed with being losers um and she was crying because she lost against Coco and she was like I didn't have enough time to recover because she was high off adrenaline off adrenaline after beating the number one tennis player and she didn't go to sleep till 5 a.m um and she was like Coco had more rest than I did Yelena had labor day off Coco played doubles that day and then they played later so if anybody was going to be tired it would be Coco and Coco was

like it probably wasn't even a physical thing it was probably mental and i think these people keep forgetting that tennis is both a mental and physical sport especially when you're playing in a tournament because you don't know when you're if you're winning or losing or when you're gonna play next and that's not coco's problem that's your problem that you don't have your head in the game so but also like you mean to tell me that you're like i'm sorry i played bad i just like was so good yesterday but it was a whole day but no but but it's also one of those things that i'm like then you're not like then you're not good you are then you're not good like what the fuck is this is giving me savonne biles where it's like people are just coming up with these fucking

excuses because they're afraid and at the same time they're like you know there's a racism component to the fact that like i'm afraid of how good you are but i'm afraid of you knowing that i think you're good yep and it's like these excuses are getting more and more embarrassing yeah and you're sitting up crying in an interview it's like there be i'm waiting for the next person to be like she hypnotized me like it's like what do you like what do you mean it's like the fucking laura who like sat down and was like i forgot the rules of tennis the game i'm a professional in for all of these years and this other one being like i couldn't sleep because i was so excited and it's like okay you're a fan you're like a you're a crazed fan it's so weird it's so weird she's

gotta be her fucking group chat with her friends right now must be like they're like this is hilarious yes like this is actually actually she's probably not she's probably not reading it right now because she is a consummate like professional it's like that's gonna be like i mentally can't go there but as soon as it's over with then i'll then she's in it because again it is mental too it's just it's like they saw her they forgot how to play the game yeah professionally it's like go to your room take some magnesium go to sleep you've got a benadryl if you really fucking need to you've got a full day where you can rest and relax and like what do you just like the day after christmas are you up all night like if you have an orgasm you don't sleep for the next

three days like you ace a test like maybe you should fail more than like maybe you should suck more because clearly you can't handle being good for more than like 12 hours as we're speaking that woman is like rank like 25th and coco's in the top five so it just feels like an uh an excuse to be like i'm not actually good enough i don't feel like i'm good enough so let me When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get

when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at WestJet.com slash 30 years. Just put into words that I ended up beating, I beat someone who's so good and that's why i like it's like if you're that good then then beat her then be that good it's giving me the vibes of like the guys who are just like i'm not i'm just gonna i'm gonna do i'm like i'm like laying all the groundwork of like i've done all of i'm such a like i'm a wonderful guy i'm a wonderful boyfriend all of that but it's like but i just can't do this with with you it's

a you thing and it's like if you're so amazing and you're so great show me don't tell me mm-hmm so this is embarrassing for everybody except for her right but i would just love for people to be like so fucking like the the like the hoops that these people are jumping through i'd be like oh my god you guys are like obsessed i'm just like i've i've been i've always been like a venus and serena fan but i've never just been like a tennis fan and the new folks they've got me into it I think I'm becoming a tennis fan as a whole I think so too and I don't know exactly how old Venus and Serena are or when they like were 40 and like 43 because I was gonna say I'm pretty sure that like their come up was like they were already established as tennis stars by the

time that like I was old enough to like be watching tennis so I feel like the excitement I have and like i've loved them but the new crop of them i'm like i feel like this is like how people felt watching their they're like being like so young coming like and doing all this and i was like oh i'm hooked until these bitches fucking retire like i'm fucking hooked it's so they're just so good and there's something so nice about a sport where you can talk back and like right the thing that always pisses me off about like olympic gymnastics is you if you even like look a judge or like you'll get docked like it's so like that and you don't have like the audience in the crowd like they're not going to be cheering for you so I'm loving this camaraderie between the

audience and the tennis players who I like and then the fact that they can like be like that was not fair I'm like fight with that ref like yeah bitch come on I love it I want to watch some now yeah there's a bunch of like new york city influencers apparently um who like showed up late and like the announced like someone like over the loudspeaker was like can you please get sit down quickly and it's like the camera's on them and i was like embarrassing my friend from college amanda goes like every year and i'm like i'm coming with you next time yeah everyone i know in new york always goes and i've weirdly never been we're gonna be tennis girlies now i love it i've got to work on my wrist stop jacking off so much it's just so hard for me i love it so much

my big juicy dick i just love love slinging it around anyways can you tell i've been on reddit i saw someone on reddit referred to morning wood as sunrise sausage and i wanted to rip my eyeballs out i was like that is don't call it like i saw the move no i just hate the term sausage because i like to eat the like i like to i like to eat sausage in the morning there's only one kind of sausage i like to eat in the morning and like don't ruin it for me like edible sausage that's like i'm that i'm actually swallowing fuck no matter how i say it i can't differentiate between maybe that's it maybe it's like the issue is is like they need to like sue for you know um brand infringement because the name it's just too similar what if you called it

morning sausage no it's disgusting um and the thing is too is that sausage comes in many shapes and forms it's not all the same i know there could be a patty and like there's different like you can have like the breakfast sausage but then like there's other breakfast sausages that aren't like the traditional sausage that you're automatically comes to your mind and then there's also just like sausage like people having like bratwurst and sausages it's so it's a diverse name for many things and that's the thing and representative that also fits with the other kind of songs i'm like it's the most accurate but it's like i want to give credit to whoever came up with it and just say like i respect i respect the comparison it is absolutely

perfect it's actually too close for comfort and i hate it and i would like us to just never do that it's just like but the guy like he got the advice he like needed on reddit and then he was like and i am taking it to heart that people have been like please don't ever fucking use that word again and like you're right i would crack up with it i'm not against it because both i do enjoy in the morning star sun it sounds like morning star sausage which is like a vegan one that's immediately what popped into my head don't do that and that's fine it's the same brand confusion that i have with um the magnum ice cream bars and i was like it's the same magnum condom company because the whole branding like the colors like the ads and like which i've never seen sexy ice

cream that's the sexy ice cream no but that's rachel bilson right shut the fuck up i don't even know if she's in it i have it's one of them what's that i have no clue i'm gonna have to look it up magnum ice cream rach yes it is okay but like why is there sexy ice cream and you mean to tell me that it's not the same as the condom brand and the thing is like all the commercials ended with her like taking a little bite of it and then like looking cheekily into the camera and one that's not how i eat an ice cream bar but two why y'all couldn't pick any other name that's what i'm

saying it's basically you google it everybody's being like these are the same company right everyone's like no they're not give me a thick ice cream and you know maybe magnum condoms needs to be like we can make sexy ice cream too anyway your summer travels deserve an upgrade with select chevrolet buick gmc and cadillac vehicles connected by onstar you can stream game and more on the go whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway you can access hundreds of apps on google play right from your center display Explore OnStar Tech today at OnStar.ca

and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar. Better never stops. Get into these results. It's very fitting for the title of the episode, which is, you know, Fisting Friday. I know. Okay. Okay. Melissa hates heart seltzer. Hold on. Really quickly.

I just want everyone to give me my flowers for how cute this little new thing is. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, Megan has changed up the look. i like the upside down smiley face spectacular okay cool thank you then we can move on now i just need to say that melissa hates heart seltzer well that was not it's not what i said i've decided to like kind of be a little more quick i'm just like trying to get trying to lie yeah and then i feel like normally i feel like the votes got skewed because of this because some people don't listen to the episode yeah but then people are voting because they have passionate feeling hey we're trying then you have your own plan for world domination i've got mine and mine

includes a little bit of fibbing 27 said that i was wrong 73 said that i was not wrong now let's get into some of the responses someone said i love a cold high noon on a summer's day but melissa is right this has gone too far i have to question about the branding of high noon because i have to say that like high noon is like when the sun's beating down on you from isn't that the direct that's high noon yeah that's the like the hottest time that's why they say they like a cold one they like to crack open a cold one but i like to have afternoon tea i was gonna say yeah also 12 o'clock like your day's not over i haven't even taken my second adderall like that's like you can't just cap out it's a stressful name person that sings that one song it's five o'clock

somewhere which i found out that i don't know enough about him to be my mom's a fan and i've never heard no she's never talked about this man a day in her life and i was talking to her on the phone and as she always does is watching the news while i'm talking to her i'm like so rude and she's like jimmy buffett died and i was like you care and she was like yeah i love him i was like give me a song that's not five o'clock somewhere margaritaville she has a bad memory as it is anyway so that really didn't do anything but i was just like woman come on now he looks like a nice man yeah i think he might be a nice man i'm just unsure because yeah i know a lot of problematic white people who love him and they were very upset that he died and so like i just have to do my

research before i'm also sad for like the world you know yeah i'm sad for his family like you know his family and all that he's into weed so that's a good i know so based from his shirt and his like smile alone i could see the ganja behind those eyes and i thought is this an ally it was bob graham he did save the manatee he's a democrat yeah okay okay he was he had backed save the manatee which was founded by a democrat that was the governor of florida at one point disaster relief okay he seems like he's okay shaking hands with bill clinton had fans across the political spectrum but he lent his talent to help democrats in florida okay okay very you know on the surface he seems okay yep and i'm sad for um everyone who

loved him including my mother i have this like thing where like i identify men as saying he looks like he knows my dad and like jimmy buffett almost falls into it he's a little too showered like to fully fall into it but i met someone the other day and i was like i love this guy and i look at him i go that guy i'm like not even saying that guy looks like he knows my dad i'm like i will be shocked if that man does not know my dad like this is the vibe okay somebody else said 100 agree tried the hard fresca and they were good but whenever i saw them in the fridge i wanted one was way too similar to the normal version and tricked my brain into craving a drink when i really just wanted a regular fresca and that is what i'm talking about

there's no business for i was gonna say for alcohol to be in fresca but i do have to let you know when i did drink a white wine paired with fresca and then red wine paired with diet coke this was taught to me by a friend's mom who also was not she was not like a big drinker a huge fan of drinking so it would be how to make it not taste like that and um yeah i would have it okay not anymore though well maybe you should put it in a can and sell it no no i also don't love a lot of canned beverages they're very sharp and just crunchy like my hot take was megan says that celebrities are not your friend you are a stalker and two percent said i was not wrong i mean two percent said i was wrong ninety eight percent said i was not wrong and i don't

know if I screenshotted this um but someone said it's so creepy how some even talk about celebs like they're close friends or family like truly you have no idea who this person is in real life you're delusional to that I say stay tuned for the next episode of um what am I what I'm gonna be talking about for another episode because it is that and someone else had said something like just to give more context of like this is like it's a ridiculous the ridiculously small part of New Jersey and so it's like you don't even have privacy from people you know like it's just like it's so tiny which okay like I think that that's like still fine like I grew up in a very small area and like I'm sure this part of New Jersey

is like even smaller than where i grew up but nobody would be running to find celebrity like the like if you knew that someone was there um and it's just the thing is if you want to stalk someone do it incognito like don't it's embarrassing because people can see you like you want to like internet stalk someone figure out like you know i mean don't breach people's privacy but like you're displaying it to then if it's such a small town then people you know are watching you do that and that i think the people that they know are probably also into it it's just fucking creepy it is creepy then we've got writer number one versus boyfriend sister who put the writer and her boyfriend on an air mattress 75 said the writer is wrong 25 said the writer is

not wrong someone said we really need it more info on this one i definitely stay on an air mattress if it was free i think the writer is not wrong to be upset with these accommodations i do feel it is rude of the family to not provide her with the privacy of a room when staying in a house full of their family i think the boyfriend is the most wrong for not properly communicating with both the writer and his family if I were in this scenario I know my boyfriend would either discuss this discomfort with his sister or look into us staying elsewhere for a few days I would be there yeah I mean I don't I don't like disagree in the sense but like I think the issue is is that like to prescribe like to decide someone's intentions that like I think if no they didn't

want you there you wouldn't get invited do you what i mean like i think there's something about like getting disrespected is it if someone wants to intentionally disrespect you to your face in front of your boyfriend who is their family like that's creating a whole ass mess for themselves as opposed and i think this is a lot less likely than a boyfriend who is not communicating it well and is not communicating it well with the family or you and so it's just yeah it's just that part gets tricky i just don't think if you're not paying then you don't have a yeah and i think that's without i mean anybody can complain but i just don't think your complaints are confounded especially when you're leaving early you're not even staying the whole time yeah

then we have writer number two versus their friend who thinks oh their friends who think it's a bad idea for the writer to re-home cats 17 percent of the writers wrong 83 percent said friends are wrong and people have some fucking feelings about this and i have feelings about their feelings so someone said if you love the animal you'll deal with the behaviors i had a cat that lived to 20 and she never used the litter box properly we had to clean the floor so much So we ended up having to replace him twice in her life. I know it's hard, but if they are your responsibility, but they are your responsibility when you adopt them,

if they aren't good to the pets and let them go, but no pet is perfect and you shouldn't get them if you aren't prepared for their behaviors. This is just weird because that's literally what the writer had said, where it was like, it was the issue with the other pets. Like that was what the problem was. And I also think that like behaviors of like an animal not being well potty trained, that to me is like, not what this discussion was about.

about like i just a lot of other things going on yeah like it's just that the when they're not getting along at all and it's an issue of a new pet like it's just everything gets confounded and someone said else unlike eminem i'm a cat person i had a similar situation where i tried to bring a second cat into our home the little terror bullied our established cat and would literally poop on the carpet a foot outside the bathroom with the litter box in it we tried to make it work for three months before i was my wits end the best decision for myself my cat and the problem cat was to bring him to a no-kill shelter i also strongly urge anyone from getting their cats outside unsupervised cats absolutely devastate wild bird populations

which is a big problem i also think that going outside makes cats um there's like some cat cult leader outside and it makes them it's probably when the leader's so feral and great yeah uh-huh and then they just become like these literal beasts which i'm like wonderful but like then you live outside i don't then we don't need to you don't need to come in my house like you are a mountain lion like that's okay like live your truth but like i just am not you're not gonna cuddle with me like it's a little i'm not gonna cuddle a mountain lion yeah there's this huge i try to tell you a picture for you but i couldn't get one but that big fat cat that's always over here and allison was like you don't like give it water anything i was like this cat clearly has a

home do you not see how big this cat is and how healthy the fur is it's just like they have a collar it's just an outside cat let the cat be and the last time i tried to feed a cat i got this whole letter from a neighbor telling about how that the cat was vegan so i'm not giving a cat anything that has a home the weirdest neighbor you ever i was so fucking yeah yeah it's just like no it's just i'm not gonna fuck with it like i'm not gonna there are cats that live outside those are called mountain lions and like that's fine if like you want to be a mountain lion but and you're no longer a tabby cat like it's like the cool um so this one really pissed me off and i'm not even a cat person which is how you know the sense i don't actually believe that the writer

has tried everything i've witnessed a lot of animals being surrounded for very fixable issues i don't think these people or the writer should keep their animals if no one is happy and they're not able to put in the work to solve it rehoming isn't bad in itself it can be very good and the shelter says they can rehome that's great give them a big donation or a smaller continual support donation for helping out so like how why do we assume like i it just feels like at this point there will never be enough for certain people when you say we've tried everything and it's like well you haven't actually tried everything and it goes why do why is that the automatic assumption like i just think that like i'm okay with animal people like when people like i love animals more than

humans like that's totally fine but I think assuming that all humans are inherently awful and all animals are inherently perfect and wonderful is like if you want to keep that as an inside thought that's totally fine but then you when you pass off this extreme judgment to pet owners you have people who then feel so shamed into keeping a pet that their pet is living a horribly decreased quality of life like i think about it in the sense of like relationships like you don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you so like if you don't if you get the pet and you're like i don't like want to keep this is just not happening i'm not being a good pet owner i don't think like in terms of like pride and for

people shaming you you should then keep the pet because shaming that doesn't make you a better pet owner that just makes you more embarrassed and like prideful that you then cannot admit that you're not a good pet owner and i don't like that like that's not it doesn't accomplish the the goal i think you know a far more education and like even like pre-adoption like all of the stuff before you can get to that point of adopting a pet but like once you've adopted a pet or you've gotten a pet like i i i think convincing people to keep said pet that they don't want is far more harm than good as someone in this industry this is so much better to find a home that fits them than force the animal in a home they don't feel safe or comfortable in just be sure to vet the

organization you are using to make sure they are a no-kill and ask questions about their adoption process. This ensures the organization will look into potential future owners in their place. And then we've got wrong of the week. Who is wrong? Neo. 98% said that Neo is wrong. 2% said Neo is not wrong. Someone said, we have people like Nikki Tutorials and Kim Patras, whose transition at such an early age, Kim being the youngest ever to do so, I believe, might have to fact-checked that. And last time I checked, they're pretty happy. One is married and one won a Grammy.

Facts. Kim Petras makes wonderful music. I would absolutely adore if she was able to get out of her contract with Dr. Luke. But she's wonderful. Have you ever listened to her music? I listened when Kyle made us listen to it.

Yeah. You want to shake your fucking titties? Like Kim Petras. so my wrong of the week i nominated madeline argie and 94 said that she was wrong six percent said she was not wrong how many people do you think those are white people um but we did get a message from madeline herself no damn god no someone who said i've been thinking about this for weeks i myself am a brit and also had never heard of a son downtown before so when i saw her TikTok, I didn't know what the issue was initially as she coincidentally doesn't explain in her

video. But like it literally took two seconds to look it up. It's that easy. Like you're like you're telling me she thought that they were so cute and told everyone about them without looking it up. I genuinely don't know what other reaction she expected. Exactly. Exactly. Like people needed to Google, which I'm not faulting. People needed to Google what sundown towns were after her video so they could understand the context of her video and then people are like well she didn't look it up and i go but you had to look it up like what do you yeah it's it does not compute in my it does not compute and thankfully and thank you to that person for writing in for you know expressing that is that is truly the case once you look it up it's you can't your people aren't even going to

comment on the situation without looking it up and then they look it up and then they want to found her saying she probably didn't look it up and it's like but you okay cool that makes total sense well that is it for that episode i hope you all like the new little graphic um that's what happens when you're in a hotel room you're like i wasn't splitting migraine and melissa's like hey make the votes now and i said oh how about i redesign all of them let's just say i wasn't saying to do it because um you had a migraine or i was like pressuring it was because we were recording today and it was yesterday and you had a full week to do them i'm just saying that like in classic me fashion i had a full week to do them i didn't do them i have a splitting migraine i'm

lying in bed and i go i have to do this so why don't megan you redesign all of them and take far longer than just inputting them into what you already do. No, of course. I've got to make it a little more difficult for myself. They look great. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this fisting, this extra long fisting of a Friday.

Extra long and extra girthy. Like a sausage. And you know what? Have it morning, noon, or night. A high noon morning sausage. Oh, yeah. That should be what we call this. high noon morning sausage

that sounds like a haiku it's not enough words I'm not going to deal with it I used to love a haiku anyways goodbye bye