Don't Blame Me! - But Am I Wrong Results: Racist Podcast (+Explain This to Me)

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

Meghan and Melisa read the results of But Am I Wrong Results: Racist Podcast and play another round of the very unserious game, Explain This To Me Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

and by spread them you mean cheeks yeah i mean spread them cheeks hold on grab you know my favorite lyrics of all time hold on grab the wall wiggle like you're trying to make your ass fall off i just love when like they get so inventive to say a new combination of words to a sentence that's never been said before um and they succeed they successfully do that but it is no longer sexy like wiggle you're trying to make your ass fall off it's not supposed to be sexy that's what i'm saying like you're trying to be sexy i think a lot of songs are written by men but they're like for men yeah you're you're not wrong with that at all and it's just like that's not hot like what do you what are you talking about and they're like in theory when

you wiggle like you're trying to your ass fall off and i go well what is the thing that you hone in on the visual it's not the ass shaking it's this ass is gonna fall to the ground that's alarming that's a horror movie that's a jump scare a cheek matching that's what i'm saying imagine you're it's a uh feature like horror film and that's the opening scene where like that song on and then you see some girl and her hands are on the wall she's wearing a skirt she's got a half on a skirt oh god it's like a diaper falling off but it's just like two halves of her butt cheek and then no ass anyways hi uh hello welcome to a new episode of fisting friday if you've never listened to an episode that we do this isn't the one to start with go to tuesday

go to thursday and then come back and then you'll get the full array so we say that with love yeah we say that with love because we don't want you to be confused um this this the these episodes are people are for people that are already established in their listening these are these are these are for um you we need the satisfying payoff and this is when if you have listened you know what you're in for and you're excited to hear the results of last week's episode of but am i wrong and you're also excited to hear what people had to say so this is an episode um that is i hold near and dear to my heart and i have a personal update about this um pertaining to my but am i wrong i do think i should knock on wood before i say it but this is episode 78

and oh i am up first whoa what just happened there's this new thing now where you can click browse i just did it on accident me too i just did it on accident and then i exited out because i panicked okay so first up is me would i be wrong to walk into somebody's home and murder them i would like to say i really appreciate all the people who are like i fully forgot for a second what the fuck this is about. Like how you phrased it. Several people that clearly didn't listen to the episode that were like, why are these results like this? Did you listen to the episode? And I want to say thank you all so much for the 55% that said I was not wrong. Sure. There are 45% that says I'm wrong, but I'm holding on to that 55%. And I see you. I love you. And we had

a big, we had a hurricane in California, since that episode was recorded. And I'm knocking on wood with my toe. And so far, I don't know if the called a fig beetle, like a fig tree beetle. If that beetle has been paying attention to my defense tactics, where I put my hair in a bun, I cover my ears, because I'm very afraid of orifices and bugs going into them. and I wear a hat and I put on sleeves. So I get very, I get very hot when I'm doing this. And then I take my, my big fruit picking, uh, device and I, I, I wielded around like a katana. Like I, I, I'm a menace. Like I walk in, like I own the, I walk into the ring, like I own the fucking place. So I don't know if the beetle has been like, I don't want to fuck with, she's crazy.

you can't fight crazy or if the rain drove it out but um i haven't seen it recently but if maybe one of maybe one of you all you you you killed it for me or maybe it just like maybe it listened and then it was like i don't want to be somewhere i'm not wanted and then it left or maybe the figs got a little too soggy for them they're waiting for them to dry up i think it's the opposite now that like i'm go i'm checking every single day trying i'm just trying to make it so that the beetle has a home no no i think the beetle first of all there are so this is los angeles there are so many factories this beetle can find wherever it needs to go i just think that like i'm making sure i check it every day so i'm not letting them get too soft too comfortable

oh yeah but but every day i get i go there i check it and there's one fucking squirrel who's like right there eating one being like sorry and i'm like it's fine you can have that one but i just i'm like don't take the perfectly ripe ones that like the perfect perfect ones because it doesn't fuck with animals stomachs like that like they can be fine someone said i cannot wait until you post the poll so i have to dm you right now because i'm listening to the podcast and on my way to work and i just want to say that megan is 100 not wrong for wanting to kill this beetle i selfishly want to eradicate all insects this is coming from someone whose last apartment was infested with silverfish they were in the carpet got in the beds and in the drains and also last

week i too found myself naked afraid on the floor because there was a centipede on my couch i first felt it on my leg and just like brushed it away because i always feel like there are bugs crawling on me but I felt it again so I like shook my romper and was like okay nothing and then a minute later I look over at my boyfriend and there's a centipede on the back of the couch next to his head so I can't wear this romper anymore and this is very important topic to me so I say kill all bugs well that wasn't what the question was it was like if I walk into somebody's house can i kill them so in your case they came into your house so yes you can kill them it's the opposite and it's a centipede and all the rules when you have that many legs the rules are fucking

out the window i cannot fuck with that you know what i hate about those silver bugs uh-huh so when you kill them they're dusty melissa shut the fuck up i can't i can't i can't i can't in my apartment i had a while ago there was they would just kind of there wasn't a lot of them but enough to be a nuisance and when i killed the first one i was like the fuck was that and then i killed another one later and it was still dusty and i was like okay i can't kill these things i just gotta scrape them up because they're very easy they're very slow just scrape them up very and then send them out on their way god wow i just to that person who wrote in you are such you're so brave like i if i had this much like in my home that's the difference again

i would have came into your home but you going into their home is different yeah but i have another write-in which i think has changed my perspective no it's not my perspective has remained the same but i feel validated and vindicated they said not all bugs are good for the environment it's a misconception i support you killing whatever you need to feel safe and the backstory i've added to this from for me um is this person works with bugs or the environment or something and they are an authority figure and therefore that is officially law to me and i feel like i've got to pass but again i have yet to need to um figure out how the fuck to even kill this massive thing you're out

i guess she rolled her eyes at me oh speaking of we were going to record in person um and uh i made a fig and nectarine cake yesterday i haven't cut it open yet so we'll see how it is And if it's good, I'll figure out a time to give you some. Okay. Who knows what it'll taste like? I've been testing out different fig recipes. Quite a mouthful. Figs have a texture that, like, it's specific.

I know. And then with the nectarine. Well, no, nectarines are, like, a little brighter than figs. And, like, they're textured. they don't get like it's i mean the flavor the flavor of it together well i did slightly under ripe nectarines they're a little tart okay so we'll see but i have so many fucking vigs that like i'm just i'm just spending money on gluten-free flour let's see what um what i can put in the almond cow with it my fig make some homemade fig newtons so i was thinking about

that but like the idea of a gluten-free like gluten-free also already gets like kind of like gummy and chewy and fig newtons are already so gummy and that's why i think it'll be the perfect mate it'll just be like gum nah maybe maybe that'll be my next one well anyways um shout out to my fellow um bug haters all right and then we've got me melissa fuck predatory real estate agents in hawaii one percent said i was wrong 99 said i was not wrong okay i think it speaks for itself i think so too then we have writer number one versus a friend oh by the way do you know you won't know them because they're the epitome of messy white people on tiktok um it's like this woman of course her

name is rachel and she's like married to like her high school coach and like yeah it's very icky and gross and then they like tried to excuse it being like he wasn't her coach and i'm like no that's like not how it fucking works like he's like a high school p.e teacher she was like graduated high school um and uh she like posted um all these like conspiracy theories about like the maui fires and was like and people were like coming for her on like reddit and stuff and then people were defending her being like no no she's not saying she believes the conspiracy theories she's just like sharing conspiracy theories and i was like can people find any excuse to excuse their faves i was just like and also i'm like this is your fave

stop okay then we have writer number one versus a friend who listens to a podcast with a racist host three percent said the writer is wrong and 97 said the writer is not wrong all right then we've got writer number two versus friend who hadn't paid money back for a trip two percent said the writer's wrong 98 said the writer is not wrong someone said only say this if they charge interest without telling them not wrong if they give them like a week notice though okay someone said i was really confused by this one because maybe it's because i set money boundaries like if i'm making a booking i'm sure it's all setting a deadline for being paid back ain't no stragglers the writer doesn't even need to make excuses they owe her money and like you

both said ask for it back asap yeah i like i think that like that's one of those things that is so you usually don't even have to like set like really clear explicit boundaries because it's just expected it's like whatever like you just wouldn't do that and it it's only when there's like one time that it like doesn't work and it's like oh shit i actually do have to kind of spell this out and it's not common that we're not not common but it's like there are going to be people who take advantage of this then my wrong of the week i nominated the world chess federation and 94 said chess is wrong and six percent said chess is not wrong this is well i love like looking at who voted chess is not wrong and like seeing the people who like message me like oh shit

sorry my bad and then seeing the person who's like restricted because um they've just like been to make it before and i go of course to see you here of course to see you here um but yeah this thing is like still ongoing and they're like trying to kind of like not totally backpedal but being like we're launching an investigation to like figure and it's one of those things is like entertaining this as like a legitimate thing is that that's an issue point blank like regardless of conclusion you come to the fact that like you're even being like well this has to be considered in depth it's like and it really doesn't like not all voices uh deserve to be heard and um not all opinions are created equal so shut the fuck up anyways um also

what are the abbreviations for this thing so i looked it up and um the abbreviations like the fi something or whatever that's the french one and that's the one that's like most often used but like it's called like the world chess federation and then also the international like pretty much anything that sounds like big chess is just different versions of saying the same organization so like they are the chess for the world like they're not like a subgroup or like one locate like it's for the entire world but yeah i don't know why they go usually go by like the french acronym of it all right and then for my wrong of the week it was lee ann and sean tui 97 said the tuis are wrong

three percent said the tuis are not wrong guess who's there and the tuis are not wrong i already saw them oh that's that's a name that goes on the shit list too for other reasons though um just just adds on perfectly someone did you see the response someone had nope they said i hadn't heard about this until the podcast so thank you for covering it i don't think i've ever fully watched the film but i remember seeing bits of it as a kid when family watching it and i vividly remember feeling weird about it but not having the words to explain it and also as a white person i would feel guilty about having weird feelings about a movie like this um and similar like slash exploitive charity ads thinking i just didn't get it and it must be okay because all

these adults around me never shared an uncomfortable sentiment yeah that's a that's a that's a big thing I mean I talk about the not learning about um how uh like horrible things that like Gandhi did because like we watched it in school and like when you're a kid and you see adults who are sharing certain things with you you know you you mirror their responses and emotions to a lot of things because it feels like they're giving their stamp of approval and they know more than you and that can happen at any age um but yeah it's a it's why like you know people grow up they go to college and they like realize a lot of the things that were presented and packaged in certain ways whether it's like how their families consumed it or how like the media packaged it up and you have

more of a life experience you're like oh I didn't actually feel a certain I was told to feel a certain way it's like a leading the witness kind of a thing that it's like oh that's not actually real or what actually happened so the um when we were talking about how they like sold the book deal before to get the movie and like all of this stuff seeing these pictures of them two together they have been on a press tour since like the second they fucking met him like like they don't even look like they look like actors doing a press tour and i'm like this is so transparent disgusting absolutely disgusting and their faces and everything not his so we're gonna play a little game that we played on see you next tuesday but we're bringing it over

here and uh megan called it explain this to me or something like that so i came up with a few i did a few of them before and people really liked it where megan pitched it and then i would explain the stuff and so now i came up with the list of things can't wait it's gonna be funny though because like i believe whatever you say blindly and um but me you know how much i'm a huge proponent of lying so let's see how good i'm gonna if i have to bullshit it okay here we go ready i'm ready why are seals and sea lions different but me and shack are the same so that's a common misconception um sea lions and uh seals are they are actually the same but they come from two rival families and so they've got massive beef between them some might call it

blubber and they they they just they don't get along and so they've been excommunicated the seals went no contact with that side of the family and so they renamed themselves gained that autonomy and that's why you never see them in the same room together similar similar to we have yet to see you and shack in the same room together but we will one day because shack is actually a close personal friend um and anyone who's saying that you and shack are the same a we need to examine the source because is it a compliment or is it racist which is a good question to ask same as in same both human oh my incredible how you jumped to that well first of all if someone said melissa you're like shack i would examine the source because that's either

the greatest compliment ever no it's in comparison sea lions and uh seals are completely different sizes but they look the exact same oh size wise except for one has a ear flap and the other doesn't yeah it was self-inflicted to like separate themselves so people didn't get them confused it's cool and um you know all of us have a little bit of have a little bit of shack in us whether that's the sparkle in our eye our jump shot our height or the courage in your heart and you know what you might not have the vertical advantage that he does but you have the business mind that he does let's see um pickleball so pickleball is um millennials need things a lot of the time like they there's just a lot of need and specifically elder millennials because elder

millennials went to less therapy than younger millennials. And they, they have that, that drive and that determination and not that immobilizing woe. And they need to, what's that word that people call? They need to hack their life. And that also includes hacking their hobbies and their activities but you know have to be different have to be a little bit more of an individual and you want millennials also love they love finger mustaches and they love pickles but finger mustache ball didn't sound as didn't have as much of a ring to it so you finger mustache when they exactly what you're talking about and so they got they they taught pickleball this will be so fun the elders have bocce ball some people also like pickleball too no so i was gonna say so but then

in true millennial form there's a desperate need to feel seen and accepted by the parents and your old elders they don't they're not saying fuck them old people they're no there's still a desperate need to to feel like they're being accepted and validated and so then they welcomed the old people in because deep down elder millennials as as time goes on they're starting to they're starting to look at Gen Xers and being like, I see your struggles. I see your plight. We are also in a market crash similar to you. You know what I think we need? I think we need pickleball, but it is hard because there are only two distinct ages that you can be playing pickleball. You can be in your early thirties or you can be 65 and it is it. And I specifically say that because Mott's was telling

Mott's is influencing like all of our neighbors play pickleball, which by the way, Mott's doesn't play pickleball. I'm like, do you have a stake in this? Like, why are you telling everyone to play pickleball? And so he's been like, you know, our neighbors were like, oh, I want to play like, oh, and he's like, oh, you should go. There's a court over there. And I'm like, he's literally never played. Like, take what he says to the grain of salt. And one of our neighbors went and they were like, you know, really fun, but I'm the wrong age. I'm a little too old. And I think I have to wait till I'm in my mid sixties. And it checks out because the people I know who play pickleball are my age um or they are people older than me's parents is pickleball closer to tennis

or ping pong i think i think pickleball is badminton meets beer pong it's just like a little there's a little more sauce like tennis is like in like tennis is like intense but like badminton is like a little saucy and like a little like cutesy and i think pickleball has that there you know um and beer pong just for the like absolute obsession that people have with it and also like beer pong was like cool like ping pong is like you know it's a cool fun it's like solving a rubik's cube like it depends on how hot you are if like your skills in ping pong are hot or like okay what's the difference

between ping pong and table tennis um i think someone trademarked ping pong and so they have to call it table tennis it's kind of like the super bowl but you have to call it the big game uh okay thank you you're welcome by the way i know i think we should i i would like to play at some point yeah after but also like i kind of feel like tennis too like oh a little shaker i already found where i'm going to take tennis lessons flex um the who was the first person that uh plucked a chicken and was like i'm gonna eat that you know it is uh widely debated because people from all over the world they want to claim my great great great great great grandmother she's the one who did that and other people say no it was my second uncle twice removed on my dad's

side he did it so you know there there are lots of um opposing theories um some people even like to say that they witnessed a saber-toothed tiger doing it first and then we mimicked them doing that um but you know it could be it could be Tyson chicken himself or Ronald McDonald I think Ronald McDonald in that clown makeup he said when I try and eat a chicken with the feathers I am getting my clown makeup all in this let me shave it but why was he like let me eat that chicken because he was hungry and he was in a little known fact about ronald mcdonald is ronald mcdonald was in the third annual hunger games and he was hungry and there was a chicken and he ate the chicken and it's a book so is he

related to old mcdonald so old mcdonald is actually the farm in which provided the poultry for the hunger games they had a contract with the capital and they were providing that there and um that and you know ronald of the mcdonald he thought he was exempt from the reaping of the hunger games because he was like i'm an epo baby like my chicken is in is in the game my my chicken is my chicken family is is there and they were like that doesn't mean shit to us sir get your ass in there but he was sent so many gifts from his chicken district they called it the block block district um that he managed to survive the hunger games but it drove him in the book of course well yeah in the books

this is the this is the og hunger games books lore and he managed um to survive but the trauma that put him through all of that the only thing that he could do with coping that was to open the largest franchise one of the largest franchises in history and so and hide his tears with his clown makeup and so um how did we get the nugget mcnugget from that it's, it's kind of a sad story. So the, the chicken nuggets, when, when he was in the games, there were so only so few options of like, how do, how do we eat that? They, they, they, the chickens are there and it's like, okay, I need to find food. Am I eating bark? And so he realized really quickly, he couldn't eat the feathers. That was like really hard going down.

Like they're just, it's just, you're getting choked up and there's not enough water to wash it down. And so, you know, plucked all of that. And then it began, okay, no, definitely need to cook this. And there just wasn't enough time to be over the fire for that long to like cook through a whole chicken, like a fatty little leg too hard. And so, you know, he, he managed to MacGyver, um, a pulverizing method involving, I don't know, it's patent protected. And in doing so he was able to throw in things in there to like bulk up the food and make it into smaller more airy little pockets um and he actually the first time crumb coated it with mostly dirt and and crushed up leaves but then he was able to to eat it and cook it and consume it way faster and the rest is

history and then where did we get the egg mcmuffin the egg mcmuffin is that's a dramatic tale the Egg McMuffin was something similar to what happened with Facebook. Someone else who has never saw the money, never saw the profits from this. It was another employee who put that brainpower and work into it. And Ronald saw that promise, pocketed it, took it as his own, and didn't even cut them a check. and we've never we haven't seen them and ronald started a conspiracy theory that they joined scientology but i just don't believe that it's true so the egg this wasn't this egg didn't come from the same chicken no so the there was a different egg sponsor in the um hunger games

and so they it would have been a conflict of interest um but that that just would have never would have never been allowed um but those chickens also that they were making those chickens you know similar to like how girls don't poop those chickens don't lay eggs okay well thank you megan you're welcome that was very insightful i'm so glad you loved it this is it got my creative juices flowing i'm like what do i have a whole list so we'll come back oh that's hilarious i'm i just want you to like how quickly i can make things about the hunger games because i'm like back in my hunger games obsession i'm restarting all the books i'm loving it i literally was looking up last night katniss and pita fanfic megan that's too far no it's not

i need to read out the first time they bone i just need to i need to read about it why don't you create it yourself i've already done that with my other fan i just need i'm just trying to reap the you're just trying to consume i'm trying to consume what what good literature people have already put out there i don't need to i don't need to come where do you read where do you reach your fanfic i usually find that the best fanfic is on specific websites that are like amalgamate for for that specific fandom yeah um because i mean i've said this i'll say it before i guess i'll say it again if someone is exclusively writing on wattpad and it's not getting picked up on those other ones yeah it's a sign that it's that's why mine's so long and girthy and

well read because the fans are into it well and also like people who exclusively read fanfic on wattpad they don't have high standards and so like if you're not going to repost it if you're not going to put it on multiple different things or someone else isn't going to pull it and put it on other things you will become in an echo chamber and then you've written something that's not very good yep and people love it still all right well that's the end of fisting friday oh um in the most the episode of uh but am i wrong that came out yesterday we did our whole fisting friday and coco put some air horns behind it coco so good fucking amazing she won't hear this but well we put it on the ether for her so she'll just feel it she'll be just walking down

the street and be like what's that gust of admiration it's us boo anyways um fist you next time bye