Don't Blame Me! - CLASSIC: I Want My Husband To Watch

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Original Air Date: April 26, 2021 This week we're sharing advice on:    Hiding your hobbies Dating as a liberal Feelings for a friend Don't Blame Them: he proposed but changed his mind   Call Transcriptions   Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Call In - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Don't Blame Me. Ba-do-do-do. And my, what's that sound again? What's that called? The tr- What do you hit that? The tr- On the drums when you hit the-

Symbol? The metal. Symbol. Symbol. and my and symbol effects done by my co-host and producer Melissa DeMonts

what's up? hello did I say my name? hi I'm Megan Rinks. you didn't. that's Megan Rinks that's Melissa Melissa Diamond Melissa Diamond Mons Megan Rose

I was like don't say Rosette I was not going to say Rosette No, not even earnestly, but just trolling. I was like, I can't go there. Yeah, I have PTSD from that. Welcome to Don't Blame Me. We are an advice podcast where listeners call in, they leave us voicemails, and then we give our life altering, life changing, miraculous, fantastic, amazing advice. And our credentials, what we lack in credentials, we make up for in opinions. We give the tough love advice that the kind of friend that you go to when you you really need them to tell you the truth and just shoot you straight that's us we're not sugar coders we give the

advice that we like to see in the world um and if you want to call in for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and we ask that you let us know your pronouns at the beginning of your call write it down practice not as you don't have to practice your pronouns unless you want to but like write down and practice what you're going to say in the call you know get it all out there so you can time yourself make sure you keep it under three minutes or by the power invested in technology you will be cut off and if you keep it under and it's well rehearsed and just you don't leave out any details the important stuff's all there you will get a gold star from

melissa which is hard to obtain it is it i mean it rarely happens once in an episode so it's an elite club and you want to be in that club and you got to be 18 or over have your parents permission to call in and that is that's what you need to know for the calls in this episode so what's new with you cute sweatshirt by the way thank you i got from oaken fort nice uh video on patreon if anyone wants to say don't let your sisters hear that how they can hear they haven't restocked in a while um anyway uh yeah what's new with me is that my family got my business name done squared away diamond imprint productions go everyone go follow on instagram haven't posted anything since i just posted the logo um but one day it will be stuff up there uh yeah that's what's i also

So the people at home can't see, but you can see, I have my, the base to my boxing bag. Oh, that is it. It is, comes up to my waist, maybe a little bit higher and I have to fill it with water. So that has been my project. I have not even got it half full yet. And the thing is, it's like, it's black. So I can't actually see in there. i can't even so what i'm doing is i have like a long string that i'm dipping it in to see where

the water touches and how long it's getting down and i'm not halfway full down there yet so uh it's been a journey but that has been my project all week this sounds like it would be like a biblical story or something like the filling of water slowly day by day i don't know what the moral of the story is but i've also never read the bible but it does give me those kinds of like i don't know that kind of vibe oh the people in the video you can't see it but the people no no no there's but you can see the people in the video can see the bag that's just lying on the floor because i can't put it on the base right now i mean i'm excited for you for once it's all up and done you have to let me know how like heavy it is at the very end i mean it like

right now i can't even move it yeah i'm not halfway full so it's gonna be super heavy but they say once the bag is on it creates enough of an angle so then you can tilt it and roll it so they would assume i'm curious moths and i keep talking about like are we gonna get like an exercise bike are we gonna get like uh maybe if i move you know we can have one of my rooms dedicated to a workout and you can just come downstairs i know which room it would be because you know i used to live there so yeah and i also looked at because you can see pictures of it online so i can look at it so i saw it yeah i would pick the um the bedroom that faces the uh garden yeah and then it because you can open it faces the front lawn you can open those two one

where that's your equivalent to where your office is yeah yes exactly like that would be oh i already i already looked at it i was looking last night after i wish we could evict my neighbors it would be so nice and we could be like i'm just going downstairs to the gym and then i can just pop up to the podcast room yeah it would just be it would make things so much easier great like streamlines our whole life mostly like post-pandemic then neither of you are ever going to leave anywhere like there's nowhere for us to go i'm like that's fine there's certain things that we will keep with this pandemic and not seeing other people is okay with me think about what we could do in the backyard the front yard like it would be beautiful i would love

also i didn't know like a while ago that all the shrubbery around your place it was very low before yeah i was i the first when i moved in to downstairs it like was pretty good like pretty solid but by the time i like moved out and moved upstairs it was like full full full full full yeah pictures don't do it justice yeah either yeah but i i mean i know what it looks like i was just seeing how much of a difference it was it's basically just the downstairs area instead of for you you've got the little downstairs the other thing i will say the kitchen's a little smaller the kitchen's a little smaller the master's a little bit smaller and the bathrooms are all randomly way bigger like the bathrooms are really really big but they're nice but yeah

they're just there's one specific bathroom that was like i just remember it being like very very very large but yeah can't everybody you know put for the manifestation yeah manifest that my neighbors move out and then melissa can move in downstairs like it would just be great and it preps us for when we eventually buy houses on the same street yep you know same thing and we'll move out of here and then move in where we're next to each other it'll be so easy and so great um i was also going to say update you have your vaccine appointment yes it's on the 30th of april this episode comes out on the 26th so i will not have it yet but you will almost have your first shot and by the time this episode wait the 26th is when this episode comes out which is the day

oh this comes out yesterday from this episode will be the first day that i am fully vaccinated yay two weeks two weeks two weeks two weeks i am so i thought you got happy johnson and johnson no yeah but you have to wait two weeks until it's full like that will be the day that i'm great i thought you make you have to get in a second one no no no which i mean there's lots of stuff about johnson johnson out now i will say i have a vaccine highlight on my instagram stories if you want to check it out with lots of links to scientists and uh disease specialists and vaccine specialists and all of that just you know we just gotta do stuff just to test you know exactly that's it and that's how science works it's ever evolving ever changing you're

continuously testing i mean even for um like moderna they're looking into having like a booster shot by the fall so like you do have to have to keep studying to see how things change and testing and you don't know until more people have had it make sure when we're talking about these things that we're talking about them like on a global level too because a lot of things that don't necessarily affect america and it's like oh well don't worry like we're in america like whatever it's fine blah blah blah we have all these other options like there's a lot of other countries who don't and so making sure that we're being cautious when we talk about those things publicly because it can be pretty insensitive to countries who are now not having projected

first vaccines until like 2022 which sucks but that's that's the panda express for you mm-hmm that's the poop that's the boot lavato of it all uh well yeah i do want to say if people are watching the video that i do have a sticker on my face where is it under my eyebrow now that i've opened the blind you can see it very clearly now so just so you know that my eye isn't like something where it's not going on there's just a zit there i always feel like i've disclaimer when i have a pimple patch on because like it isn't super obvious what it is so it's like what's happening to your face so yeah i actually wore makeup because i didn't want to wear a pimple patch for the hundredth time on the um hole that i created in my forehead

you look cute thanks i tried because i needed it so straight from vaccine side effects to the period so welcome should we get into the update oh wait she goes to this she goes to us um but we talked about aliens and melissa and i just kind of hung out and talked so for those of you who um like just the m&m chatter this is this is this is gonna be for you well everyone our update goes to us which is what we deserve for being people who ghost all the time so we're just gonna like hang out and talk for the time that we would be doing an update yes so i mean we were talking about uh aliens oh yeah i was like which one are you gonna bring up because there's a lot of stuff i know i'm definitely not bringing up all of that but we were talking about aliens

oh yeah and like i you were talking about a real life alien that you knew and i um was saying how everybody has their own depict or not everyone has their own we have this like universal depiction of what aliens look like and i was wondering who came up with that original alien rendering and do they know their influence that they have i mean that's like one of the huge questions i now have about life along with who discovered popcorn and were they afraid because like terrifying noises how did it happen saying with who was like the first person that was like oh we're drinking cow's milk like i mean i'm gonna say it i think it was a pervert i think i don't know that it came from pure intentions like i think i've never once in my life been like hey let me grope this

animal and see if something comes out let me squeeze they would have to stay in like the mommy cow feeding the baby and then they were like oh i wonder what that tastes like oh yeah that makes way more sense that's less perverted yeah yeah in my mind i'm like they just were like what does this do let me give it a squeeze okay we're gonna i'm looking up little green men i said who came up with the alien okay so little green men is a stereotypical portrayal of extraterrestrials as humanoid like creatures with green skin and sometimes an antenna antenna is that how you valentana and today may be the plural version i think that might be it is it ae yeah this term also is sometimes used to describe gremlins mythical creatures um so today these creatures

are more commonly associated with a with an alleged alien species called gray is where the color is not green but gray during reports of flying saucers in the 1950s the term little green men came into popular usage in reference to aliens in one classic case the heli kelly hopkinsville sighting in 1955 two rural kentucky men described as a supposed encounter with metallic silver somewhat humanoid looking aliens no more than four feet in height 1.2 meters for our friends across the pond employing journalistic license and deviating from witnesses accounts the evansville courier newspaper used the term little green men in writing up their story other media followed suit huh okay so oh wow using the term uh predates the 1955 incident england referenced little

green men or children dates back to the 12th century green children of wool pit which though exactly when the term was first applied to extraterrestrial aliens has been difficult to pin down huh interesting that's funny american author washington irving described lunatics or men from the moon luna luna as pea green in contrast to the well that's just racist in contrast to the white people on earth is it just everyone on that sounds like someone who is that sounds like an incel who has never left his room and only ever seen his mother where were they from let me look i think it just said european but let me look oh in a history okay no in his historical satire a history of new york american author

a history of new york that's in 1909 i mean why do we need a satirical history i feel like we should just correct the ones we have now but that's kind of like uh the onion is satirical news yeah that's true i just mean like i feel like we need to have one we need to have the the accurate history pinned down and be universally taught before we start taking creative liberties with humor so i was looking at someone's uh instagram who like follows a bunch of conservative accounts and then they also followed the onion and i was like do they not get confused like how does that work how can you follow like both ben shapiro like fox news

and the onion you know like and beyond the other side like not like even like a lot of stuff with the onion they've come out with like um it seems like an onion article and then it's actually the truth because of how ridiculous conservatives are yeah like it just is the epitome of like when people do those like jokes on tiktok like saying something they're like oh be careful fox news is gonna play this on tv like that's kind of the thing with the onion where i'm like um it's like that time that i did the instagram post where i was like oh i'm so happy biden won and now we have vaccines in our water and birth control in our cereal and we're eating baby fetuses and people were like oh my god and i'm like what and they're like we know that this is the truth like what the

fuck is wrong with you like that the like it just must be so sad like there's no humor there's no jokes i mean they are the jokes they are but then they're humorous to us they do exist for that but then i wonder like who makes you laugh and like not in like a q anon conspiracy like oh i know more than you haha you sheep like who genuinely makes them like belly laugh you know yeah what was that uh character that was uh you might be a redneck that guy oh uh larry the cable guy they're like why doesn't he have a netflix special he's hilarious it's gonna be like larry the cable guy and then any comedian who had since then come out with sexual assault allegations they never cared about them at all but as soon as they were like

they had allegations as soon as they were like i love louis ck he is very funny i never thought he was funny until i found out he was a predator and now i must defend him like it's without a doubt but even with that like just like listening they still wouldn't like louis ck because no no stuff is very liberal except for he's a fucking disgusting human being yeah it has to be that oh and bill cosby they didn't like bill cosby when he was doing connie but now they're like i don't know i don't do you think they draw the line they draw the line because i think racism kind of racism yeah because because then they're like oh look at this black man you're right you're right you're right yeah yeah there's really like maybe this is why they hate hollywood

the hollywood elites nobody is catering to them and their humor but again what do you find funny like i've seen like some people who like follow those memes for good christians or like memes for conservatives like conservative humor or whatever every time i look i'm like what like there is no like i understand the joke i'm not missing the joke it's just that this joke is like not funny at all i just like googled are there any conservative comedians and there's a thread on reddit of people being mad that they're not so they are mad yeah they're like we have no humor it says i feel like so many comedians now pander to the sjws's i don't know what that means social justice warriors oh gotcha right and liberals nobody makes fun of obama nobody makes fun of

the liberal sacred cows why is that everyday comedian i can sorry there's a typo go figure every stand-up comedian i can think of is a complete leftist why is that well because humor is equated to intelligence and like you know critical thinking and having like a a broad picture of the world and being able to have commentary so that's the like how funny do you think you and your conservative friends are i have 40 upvote with this which is terrible there's a whole side of reddit that like is it's so like i never i only ever end up on there like i if i'm like actually thinking critically like when i'm searching for bachelor stuff i've like ended up there and i'm like oh no no i have to like that's why there are specific like

bachelor threads for i think it's people of color who watch the bachelor is like one of the only ones that i will read because like there there's very few of like my former let's state it here former hobbies which was watching the bachelor i i don't really have a lot of things that intersect with like the conservative conservative people like i don't have much in common at all so like but my satirical watching of the bachelor i you know and in la and we've talked about this so many times before same thing with a lot of reality shows that like people in la watch them through a different lens of like we're in the industry we understand this there's something a lot funnier about this it's his escapism from like the normal kind of things

that like we work on and like we do and everyone i watch it watches it with the same commentary lens on it that we like forget or i forget sometimes and i'm like oh i'm not the target audience and the target audience is like my polar opposite so like when i read these things i'm like oh fuck ew ew ew ew and that's like the great thing about um uh the the new the new post political taylor swift that i'm like i took my break when there was like i was like this is it's not a lot of her saying anything political and there's a lot of people who like i don't agree with who are also fans of her and like i feel super uncomfy being a fan of some like sharing a common interest and like a fan but now that she's been very political now i'm like oh

thank god you weeded it like now i don't have to weed this out and like i can be i can look on these reddit threads and all of that stuff because a lot of people feel like so betrayed by her that i'm like good good you'll be trained it's not hurting her at all no i'm like we get to take her back like we reclaim her back when i posted on uh my instagram story because i watched her documentary for the first time and which i had my period which was like a mistake um and people gave me shit for not watching it before and i will just say i adhd it's hard for me to watch like i also responded and i was like didn't we talk about this before and i didn't know like i responded to your instagram and you haven't been responding to a lot of my instagrams

we'll talk about it later but i've been struggling for a week um but i thought that it was something completely different so what do you think it was i thought it was a tv show like a hulu show that you were watching because you just put the like title and then you start talking about i was like oh i messed this up i know which one but there are two different there are two different shows i auditioned for a show called miss america which was on i don't know if that ended up being on netflix but there is another one that is sounds almost the same on netflix yeah um but when i posted being like me when taylor finally got political and sophia bush responded to it she was like same like me too and i was like yes yes it was like us being like thank you we needed you

thank you so much please help which was great our uh one that didn't ghost us is here now so so this is for the next episode yeah so bye guys i mean we'll get to the episode when we come back okay bye bye we're back wow what a great update it's okay you know they got we talked to them they got a little confused about time changes which i will say full disclosure i might if you're listening well we'll probably talk to you before this episode is out but i i will probably roast you on your um lack of time converting converting no she'll probably hear this before we do okay um you're i love you you're great your time change conversion i just want to know where are you yeah where where where do you live and where have you been

You know, that's more of my question. So looking forward to talking to her, though, because I'm excited to hear that update. But yeah, should we get into the rest of our episode, get into those calls? Yeah. Ooh. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed?

With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Hi, Megan and Melissa.

I hope you are doing well and I hope you are healthy and safe. I love the podcast. So my boyfriend and I have been together for five and a half years and we've been living together three years. But for the last couple of months, I've been keeping a secret from him. I'm 27, actually three days younger than you, Megan. My pronouns are she, her, and my boyfriend is three years younger with he, him pronouns. We're both Leos and extremely committed and loyal to each other.

I've always been the person to have a lot of interest and to never really know what I want to do with my life. Though I've never been a spiritual person and always thought spirituality was a whole lot of mumbo jumbo and kind of scary. I have been into astrology for a while. my interest into astrology led me to watching pick a card tarot readings on youtube and eventually i bought my own tarot deck that was back in september and now i own over 10 tarot and oracle decks with three more on the way i keep them in a bag at the back of my

my side of the closet and some in my desk drawers so my boyfriend doesn't know about this at the start of my witchy spiritual journey i started an anonymous no face youtube channel and a tumblr so I've been filming videos taking pictures and it has become this whole hobby and a way to take some time for myself he doesn't think anything of this because I know he knows about my makeup youtube channel I also started an Etsy shop where I sell tarot bags that I sewed and crocheted and that's been going pretty well my boyfriend knows that I sell these bags but he doesn't know that they're tarot bags and he doesn't really understand why people want them but he's just he's just happy for me that it's going well so the reason that I haven't told him is because I know he doesn't

believe in this stuff like not even a little bit he already thinks astrology is bullshit he's nice about it and he lets me do my thing but it's not something that we can talk about i don't think he will be mad or anything but i don't think he will appreciate the lying since i've had the tarot packages delivered on his work days or i'll just say it's another astrology book so he won't ask any more questions i have one friend who is into the same things and we were recently able to safely meet up and do tarot readings and we talk about tarot and astrology all the time and it's been just really nice to have somebody to share this stuff with I know that my dad and stepmom even though they won't believe in it they won't mind and it will just be another one of my kind of

weird hobbies but I know that I'm not going to tell my boyfriend's family they're very nice but I don't think they will understand this stuff I want to tell my boyfriend but I also don't want to tell him I don't want him to judge me or be mad about the lying I'm afraid that people think tarot is evil or something even though I like to think of myself as an ethical reader since I don't claim to make any predictions but I empower your free will and to make you feel confident in your decisions I'd love to hear from you if when and how I should tell him I've also added tarot readings to my Etsy shop because I've gotten quite good at it so if either one of you would like a tarot reading let me know and I'd love to do one for you as a thank you for all the amazing content

that you put out thanks so much love you i love to talk about myself i would love a tarot reading i would love it too we can schedule maybe instead of an update one day we do it i would die yeah i also like want someone i want to have like an astrologist um read our birth charts together well like no no but like the they can do um i forget like a compatibility one yeah i'm trying to remember what it's called but there's something where you can read like you can we can do our own individuals too but they do one i don't remember what it's god i people are gonna people astrologists and people are into it know what it's called i just am blanking on the name but it's when uh you read people's charts just like as what those charts what your charts

do together and what they mean to like you as like a friendship which i think is interesting i have like some good advice and then i have some like a little bit toxic advice but it's not bad okay so like my little bit my good advice is just to like be come forward completely tell him that you like have been doing this for x amount of time and just be honest and say that you thought he would be like you weren't necessarily like thinking that he would have a bad reaction but you just were like self-conscious and like thought he might have a bad reaction and yet you were just like a like just insecure about it and like a little nervous and so you didn't want to like let him know because you're afraid of being judged

and then my little bit of toxic advice is just to pretend like you are just going to start doing this right now it's not that it's like you know i it depends on the kind of like because i'm curious and you can probably answer for this um not like specifically but like you have more insight into this than i do like her him being like you don't want him to like get like ang like you don't actually think he'll get angry but like he really doesn't believe in any of this kind of stuff does he come from like a religious background that like this is not okay because like i know that like with some like really i don't know what the exact like but people who are like very very intense um i don't know is it evangelical like who like are not like harry potter can't watch

like those kinds of magical things i think because i think it depends if it's like oh he's just like not that into it and like did you feel like you were gonna be like he like might have thought it was like stupid and like you're like oh I don't want him to think like what I'm doing is stupid or is it like oh is this something that like he how he was raised like directly disproves of it you know yeah yeah well I mean it might not even be disproved because like my grandmother who I forgot what denomination she is but like she believed like wishes existed but like the most like demon type thing like can't even bring like playing cards into her house because she thought it was like connected to that and like yeah like she was like no that's like satan do not bring

that like we couldn't even play fucking monopoly at her house that's like how yeah yeah but i'm just like if you feel like that you had to like hide it from your boyfriend is that like if you feel like you have to hide anything from the person that you're in your relationship with I think that says like something about your relationship not just good call um like on just like the base level if you were didn't know how he would react like I feel like if you're in a relationship with someone you should be able to share everything with them um and it might be like on a timetable where you share it so like or when you share it so not just like you didn't know how he would react are there other things that like he hasn't that you've done in your life that

he hasn't approved of and so like I feel like there's something deeper there well yeah I mean now that you said yeah because the fact that you're like he doesn't like he thinks astrology is like stupid he like is okay with letting me like lets me do it or whatever or like he is fine with it but like we just can't really talk about it that's odd to me because like Mott's isn't into like, I love I mean, I'm you are both Leos. I am the kind of like Leo who loves astrology like that stereotype where it's like, oh, Leos just love to read anything about themselves. And so like, that's that fun part. Like, I'm not super into like all of the intricacies of it. And Mott's definitely like isn't super into it. But like there and there's a lot of things that we don't have like as a shared interest, but like, by no means is it something that like, oh, we can't talk about my interest. You know what I mean? like i love taylor swift and like i constantly i'm like you need to get i want you to i need to like teach you so that you will like this and you'll understand this or whatever but like there is no oh i'm hiding that i'm doing this thing or whatever so like that does sound like

something as i don't want to say this to like belittle anyone who's like in the like astrology community or whatever because like also big fans of astrology i like believe in all that stuff i really like it but something that is so like I mean trivial in the like in the nicest way possible do what I mean like it's not something that's hurting him or like that has like any sort of like that's why I wonder what his background is of if there is like some part of him that feels like this is like not like okay based on like how he was raised religiously or spiritually because it doesn't like that's something that's like so like the best way that people practice those kinds of things like are yeah like just to like bring people clarity and like happiness and

just insight into their lives and it's just like it can be like very fun and light-hearted it can be really healing for some people it doesn't it's not it's not harming anyone especially him so having such a strong opinion on it, that like on that part seems a little odd to me. So you're right, I do. That sounds like there might be something else going on. And you should never feel like there's one thing of being like feeling like slightly embarrassed about something or feeling kind of like stupid for doing something in front of your partner. But like that should immediately be reassured by your partner being like, don't feel stupid, right. But then following through with like getting packages delivered when he's not there and hiding all of that stuff. Like

it's not just this like it doesn't to me seem like an unfounded feeling that's like an irrational feeling because you're acting on it like you're then feeling like that and then you're making all of your actions line up so he doesn't find out you continue to hide and all of that stuff which yeah like I'm not a fan of hiding things but I think you're right I think there's probably a reason why you're hiding it and if you're concerned that he's going to be upset because you're hiding it for like x amount of time like i of all this isn't like a family it's not like you have a secret child somewhere like i don't even necessarily think that like oh this is something i'm hide you know what i mean like yeah i can't imagine why for me like why yeah i can't imagine

he would be upset at you for hiding this because like it's but you're concerned that that's going to be a thing so like it does seem like there's something something else there and especially because she's like his family wouldn't be into it so I do wonder if yeah like maybe he's no longer religious or anything like that but like he was raised with those certain things I can feel like oh this doesn't feel like sit right with me or like you know yeah hi Megan and Melissa so I'm a big fan and love the podcast, and I need a little advice. So I am a Leo. I'm 19, and I'm currently seeing a, I use the her pronouns, and I'm currently seeing someone who uses he, them pronouns. He is an Aquarius, and he is 24. And basically, we've been on two dates following COVID guidelines,

of course and they've gone really well and like we get along super nicely there's great chemistry and it's just really easy to be around one another the issue is that we met on Bumble that's not the issue but my sister actually when I was telling her about him said that she had seen his profile a few years ago and he had himself listed as a conservative. Now from what we have discussed so far like we've gone into a few serious topics we talked about religion and things like that and I don't get conservative vibes from him. It's like I said my sister saw his profile a few years ago so maybe things have changed but I'm not really sure how to approach the subject because it's not really something you can segue naturally into in being like,

hey, do you respect people's rights and things like that? So I was just wondering if you have any advice as to how I can bring up the subject in a natural way because I stay pretty involved in politics i'm very strongly a liberal and of course just believe in human rights as a whole and i'm also part of minority groups so it's definitely something that is on my mind and i really like him but i can't be with someone whose ethics don't agree with mine so if you have any advice as to how to ask him about it or discuss it i would really appreciate that because I don't know what I will do if he does say he's conservative.

Thank you guys so much. Love the podcast. Keep up the great work. I have a question. With a 24-year-old dating a 19-year-old? That wasn't my initial one, but my initial question is, how does your sister remember someone she saw

on a dating app from a couple years ago? I probably could. really i mean oh well like from a couple years ago well no because i i don't i couldn't remember someone i swiped left on like yeah that's what so yeah no no it would have to be someone that was she swiped right on talk to yeah maybe that would make that would make way more sense um my first thing um i have really strong feelings about age uh gaps in relationships and a five-year age gap in a relationship is not massive, but I am curious why a 24 year old would want to date a 19 year old. I am not confused why a 19 year old would want to date a 24 year old. I'm never

confused about that. I am always wondering why someone who is in their, like essentially in their mid twenties wants to date someone who turned 18 the year before and like can't legally drink yet like that just i'm i have i'm curious about that because in this context um did he if he took off if he doesn't have his political affiliation on his bumble he is a conservative yeah i've started um on looking through dating apps right now and if they don't say liberal in their profile i'm automatically taking it off if there's nothing there if it well of course if it's conservative automatic no but if there's nothing there or it says moderate no thank you those are both conservative like if he doesn't have his political affiliation on his dating apps

like there's a reason why and it's he's a conservative like that's the only reason the only reason why like that's it because like i don't know any guy who's like a staunch liberal who's like cool fucking some republican girl like it's not like oh i'm not going to keep this here because i don't want it to hinder my matches like no no no it's like oh i don't i don't want to have this here because i don't want it to like not hinder my matches of the girls that i'm matching with but like i don't want girls to rule me out because i wanted to keep it like quiet so yeah there i have friends who have dated guys who have like not like years ago who have not listed their and this was like you know pre that yeah pre-trump um he who must have meaning um and they didn't

list their political views and they found out later on and it was like oh i you know that i wouldn't have gone on a date with you if i had known this and there's like now you're just being an asshole and like using us as a power move so to me the age gap him going after a 19 year old and not having his political thing on there to me that just says i'm looking to have control and power over someone so um personally i don't think it's even worth it to have a conversation i would just be like i'm out ghost goodbye but i think that that's me and i think like the you seem like you are like into this guy potentially i i think an easy question is climate change you can bring get up very casually oh the weather outside oh yeah i mean i would just be so straightforward

yeah but i don't think she's that type of person it doesn't seem like she's like the straightforward type but if you do if you do want to be straightforward just ask him like who did you vote for what are your political beliefs yeah if he says something like i'm a fiscal conservative that's still no no because that's how i don't care about poor people and that also in itself is a racist issue not caring about poverty um but you said you're a part of like a marginalized minority group i'm not i don't know the exact minority group minority group um so i don't know if like some of your hesitation comes from the fact that like if it makes you uncomfortable and a little bit nervous i would do it over text i don't think that you

I wouldn't do it in person um I would literally like do it over text and just be like straight up like hey I forgot to ask um I don't remember if you had like you can even line like I don't remember if you had your political affiliation like or I just realized like we've never talked about this like um what's what are your politics like who did you like what's your what who's your political party and that is like that's a question that like friends of mine who are on dating apps even when i was on like dating apps like immediately that was i would it's one of the first again pre-trump one of the first five questions i would ask people and that was people who already had like even people who already had like liberal like left like democrat like liberal

in their bio i was like how what's your extent of that like how where where are you like where do you fall on the spectrum of like left because it's just important um and then someone who doesn't have it like it's point blank asking because i think like yeah if you're not comfortable you can ask that climate change is a good like way into it but i would just be really aware of how he talks about it in the words he chooses and how he says it and if there's any sort of like laughing or like belittling or trying to move on like the fact too that he also hasn't asked you your political beliefs that to me is also a red flag like you should care about my politics as much as i care about yours so yeah all signs point to conservative yeah and i just

want to say like when you get back in the game if you know this guy isn't the one just if you if this is how you feel if they don't have it listed on their profile it's just an automatic no yeah yeah it's we need to treat it if it's important to you which it should be you need to treat it as if it's they don't have a picture because like it is like a uh if we're gonna care about what someone like looks like we also need to care about like how they're how they use their moral compass to vote and support people and all of that stuff so and like it can be like you just got to get it and like that's the i think weeding those things out before you get in situations where you're like oh no i really like this person what if they have x y and z feelings about it but

i mean i'm gonna be honest with you all signs all signs point too conservative to me which is that the elephant in the room that was fucking great that was so good i was just like i couldn't even laugh i was just impressed wow wow wow wow great one round of applause thank you thank you but yeah i also just think in general i think age gaps in relationships five years doesn't really matter once you've um turned to like i think once you're in you're like over 21 i think like if you can't legally do things together that's kind of an issue for me yeah it's just and it's not even necessary like again like i the thing i have to stress to people who are in these relationships when they're like like when

women are defending the relationships and their partners a lot older than them i'm like you don't need to tell me why you're into them i completely like that's fine i need to know what like tell me why that they are into you and like attracted to you specifically and like why they want to date someone your age like why you know it it's yeah it's just like life it's that kind of like once you've lived that life and you've like lived through um you've you've been through that age that that person has been before and you're like oh i want to date someone who's in that headspace or mindset or where i was like what are you still there like what like what is that like it's it's yeah it's just it's just odd we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back

we're back from the break let's get to the rest of the calls hi megan and melissa i am a 22 year Leo and use the she series pronouns. And I am friends with a 22-year-old Sagittarius who uses the he series pronouns. So a little backstory on our friendship. We went to elementary school together. We weren't really friends, but it was a small enough school that we knew each other and interacted often. Middle and high school, I went to other schools while he stayed in our town school district. Fast forward to sophomore year in college, I became friends with a girl who also knew him from school, and that's how me and him reconnected. We have now been very close friends for four years. However, we've been long distance. He has lived in California and Nevada, while

I have stayed in Michigan, our home state. Recently, we took a trip to Arizona, just the two of us. This was the first time in two years, in three years, that we've seen each other in person. To say that it was the greatest trip that I've had in a while would be an understatement. It was super chill, easy, and comfortable. It honestly felt very familiar to me, even though we hadn't seen each other in person in a while. It was kind of almost like we were dating. I guess I had some feelings come up that I hadn't felt in a long time, and now I can't stop thinking about it and wondering if I should tell him. The only problem is that years before, when we first started our friendship, I told him that I liked him. He said he didn't like me,

but we stayed good friends. I've had other relationships since then. And he has been there through all of them. But that first rejection really has me hesitant to say anything now, because I don't want to embarrass myself again. But these feelings are low key eating me up inside. What should I do? Thanks so much for listening. Bye. I don't think it's necessarily what you want to hear. But I think when we like reveal our feelings to someone and they don't reciprocate that person doesn't forget that so like if they had then feelings come up i think if if there were i think if he reciprocated the feelings you guys would have hooked up on the trip you know like i think taking a solo trip with someone like

i think there's a very small rom-com chance that like he has feelings for you now and like doesn't know how to like bring it up and like this trip was like this whole same thing for him same parallels but um I think it's equally if not more likely that he and you were able to take this trip from his perspective of the fact that like oh she used to have feelings for me before but like we're still friends and we're cool now so like this trip might have meant something if I took it with like another like single female friend but like her and I have a different kind of relationship and it's like yeah i want to know how you guys were acting coupley were you holding hands were you cuddling were you making out like oh how true how were you acting coupley because if it was just

that you guys like went and had a good time that could could you substitute any friend in and it would be the same type of thing um because i think that could potentially tell you um that's true also um maybe he let's say he has kind of like developed feelings for you and he doesn't know how to broach the subject but also you did mention that you guys are long distance so like even if you were to explore dating like what's the end game here are you gonna move where he is are he gonna come to you because you know we always talk about if something's long distance you still have to have an end game so I mean you could tell him again if you really want I think you know if what's the point here like when you told him that your feelings before have you been

like has there been a part of you that has been holding on to this friendship because you could potentially see it changing to more in the future or was it that you just wanted to be his friend because that that thought could be romanticizing like hey like we went on this trip we had a great time maybe now he has come around to what his feelings are yeah no it's true because i mean we never recommend if you have feelings for someone staying friends with them without taking that break to then no longer have those feelings so you're right i think those feelings have just kind of stayed there and there is a huge possibility that it's been kind of hoping and waiting for him to kind of catch up to where you are yeah i think like yeah you can say something but like

you do fully run the risk of embarrassing yourself again but i think that regardless i either you embarrass yourself and then you have to take a break from this friendship to get over it because this it didn't you didn't do that before and like now it's three years later and you still have feelings for him or you don't ask him and you just let him know hey this trip was really fun I had a great time it has kind of like just made me really realize that I never stopped having those kinds of feelings for you and like I love our friendship and I really want to be able to stay friends so I'm going to need to take a break from our friendship for a bit until I can like really get over this and deal with this and process this so

we can be friends again I will be on I think that's what I would do because that also gives him the opportunity to say hey I actually still I have feelings for you if he does and I think that's a little bit less because I will I also want to like we have to honor our feelings and tell people how we feel and all of that you've already done that to him once and it's pretty hard to hear that as someone if you don't have those feelings anymore that I can kind of feel like, well, now I feel really like shit, like, like, what do I do? And all of that. So like, I think you've already done that once before, you know, how much that feeling sucks. It obviously sucks more for the person who's saying it, but it doesn't, it's not a great thing to hear from

the person who's on the receiving end who doesn't feel that way either. So I think if you just like let him know how you feel in like the, this is because of that, I need to like take a step back. But you're right. Like, how were you acting couple-y? Because, and I would also say switch um i don't like switch in if you are like if it was me and like a heterosexual person like i would i would have to imagine switching in one of my guy friends and then i would switch in one of my girlfriends like switch in something that's like those kinds of like how would i act there do you like because like like i wouldn't cuddle with any of my like straight i mean i might cuddle with some of my straight guy friend no i wouldn't not like friend friends only like someone who'd

be like a yeah like it's like i'd fall asleep on leo but like not in like a sexual way yeah but like i'd cuddle with kyle but like that's a different kyle's gay yeah that's what i'm saying like it's also like kyle's gay like we cuddle all the time i sleep in his bed and then like sydney and i will kyle and i will hold hands sydney and i will hold hands i probably wouldn't hold i wouldn't hold hands with probably wouldn't hold hands with like a straight guy friend but i mean it just really depends so like switching in someone who you feel really comfortable with in a purely platonic way like don't pick like a random friend who you're like that like oh that would be weird we don't do that like is there any friend that you have that you would do that with

because that can and are you making it mean more because it was him but again yeah if you're like kissing though and like making out then yeah go for it but yeah and if you're holding hands also here's the thing though if you're like hands holding to clasping or interlocking fingers true and he knew that you used to have feelings at some like prior so like if there's any sort of crossing that friendship line of like physical physically that to me it's like either you have feelings or you're a fucking asshole because or he might think that he that like she's over it and then he missed his chance yeah but i mean that's just like such a move you know like if he puts his hand on your thigh or something i'm like

yeah that's that's intentional but again yeah you're right if it's just like we just had a really good time we just like talked all the time like we went on a we traveled like couples travel just us two and like had great conversations went out to dinner every night and all of that stuff like if there's no like physical like things there or things that differentiate it from a friendship that's that's hard because like yeah Sydney I'm like in my head I'm like Sydney and I when we went to like New Orleans on our trip together we're holding hands the whole time like so happy but we're also like not fucking you know so like there is like we're sleeping in the same bed we're cuddling but like we're not having sex or like making out but i'll do that with moths like there

is like a difference there so yeah i would love to i would love to love to get some more details yeah and i think you just need to be honest with yourself too like i think you have to tell him now that we're talking more i think you have to tell him because either you're just going to be holding on to these feelings forever or not and i think you need to have some type of clarity so that you can move on and stop well emphasizing this history has shown you that you haven't been able to do that while maintaining a friendship with him but yeah you have to but i think the best way to do it is just telling him as a precursor which is why i need to take a break from our friendship because at this point he hasn't given you necessarily um any concrete

reason to believe like i think that the ball should be in his court to be like hey i have feelings for you now and he's not doing that and like either it's because he feels uncomfortable or he's too nervous to do that but on the chance that he doesn't like being putting yourself both in the same situation where you both have already been and like you already know how that feels i just think like taking that power back and like so let's we're gonna take a step back blah blah that gives him the opportunity to say something if he wants to next Hi Melissa and Megan

I'm 28, my husband is 28 and the additional man in this story is 24. Around the end of 2019 my husband told me he had started fantasizing about seeing me with another man. We got married at 19 and we have only been with each other this was surprising. I had no

interest in it but wanted to be open minded so we continued talking about it and started incorporating it into Pretty Talk it's worth noting that our marriage didn't have a great foundation, shocking since we got married as teenagers, and I was more and more noticing issues in the way we communicated and our unbalanced power dynamic. After a couple months of this, I created a Tinder to test the waters. I ended up clicking with a guy, and we started talking fairly regularly. My husband was getting off on me, ignoring him to text this guy, and I

was enjoying that tension. When things seemed like they were progressing past the hypothetical, I told the Tinder guy that I wasn't ready, didn't want to waste his time, and called it off. Fast forward through 2020. My husband and I got into therapy, both separately and sometimes together. We did a lot of work on ourselves and our relationships, and I'm really proud of our communication now. We started exploring the kink on my terms, and I was finding aspects that I enjoyed. Then, at the beginning of this year, I got a text from the Tinder guy. We went back and forth very innocently for a week before he asked me if we'd gone through with the sex in front of another guy.

I told him that I hated him. It had ended with him, and we started the flirty texting again. I started researching non-monogamy and sex-positive podcasts, and at some point realized that I actually may want to do this. A definite aspect of my change was feeling comfortable with the Tinder guy. I knew I didn't have romantic feelings for him, but I felt like I could trust him. The three of us met on Zoom, which I expected would be the end of it, but I surprised myself and decided I wanted to go for it.

We picked a date when we would all be vaccinated, set a location, and I was getting excited. I did notice that both the men seemed a little more apprehensive and the Tinder guy was less flirty. He mentioned a few times that he was getting nervous. A week before we were going to meet, he said he still wanted to have sex with me, but was too nervous about the audience and canceled. My husband also admitted that he thinks the role playing is enough for him. I've been bouncing back and forth through all of the stages of grief, as traumatic as

that sounds. I'm frustrated that I did all of this emotional work and breaking down and rebuilding my beliefs about sex and relationships and for what. I've also been feeling some guilt and shame around wanting the Tinder guy, even though my husband has assured me that he loves me and I did nothing wrong.

I need advice on how to reframe this experience so I don't feel like it was all for nothing. Also, how can I get over my desire to sleep with this other guy now that it's no longer an option? Thanks. That's a lot. That is a lot. because at first I was like you guys are doing this without any like with your foundation being

shook and I was going to just say go to therapy before you've been explored but then you said you did go to therapy yeah um yeah I think that's the thing about like Kingston things you kind of like it you it's a fantasy in your head until you actually start going through and I think you guys did take like the the necessary like steps you kind of kind of edged your way to each step of um exploring this and then everyone realized that it was except for maybe you that you know this is where my boundary is like i think your husband kind of just likes the being able like he thought he would want to watch you with someone else but instead it was more like the excitement of listening to you and talking to talking um while you are talking to another guy so he realized that

that was his actual boundary and i think it's the same for the other guy it's like he was kind of testing the waters figuring things out and then when it came time he was like no this isn't for me i'm too nervous um and then for you it was like you were kind of more nervous in the beginning but did your own exploration and research and um you're into it now but now your partner isn't yeah I you know I'm doing that thing that everyone hates doing on the podcast where I'm like really analyzing your language with this and you had said earlier on that part of the issue with the communication was power dynamics in your relationship and part of me how you're responding to this like ending now kind of like being not the grieving part but the part of like being more

kind of like upset that you did all of this for something that he ended up not wanting and all of that um I I want you to like figure out like what are you upset what's like the percentages of you're upset by like are you upset because it's like not upset like are you disappointed because like part of you are saying like I'm disappointed because like I wanted to have sex with this guy and like now i'm like interested in all of this but there's also still that kind of power dynamic of like this was a kink that you weren't into that you really pushed yourself to be into that is there a part of you like that is truly into this and has been this like great exploration or is there a part of you that is like i'm pissed off because i put in this work

and really changed how i felt for my partner and that becomes kind of convoluted that like there is more of like an upsetness and anger here because of like the sacrifices quote-unquote or the shit that you did to get to his level and then have him not be there that to me still kind of says a little bit of a power imbalance which like would make sense because this started when before you guys were in therapy and before you really worked on this so like this to me kind of sounds like a pre-therapized version of both of you and then it's carrying on to afterwards i don't know if you guys you see you guys are doing like some therapy together this is something to talk to a therapist about i'm not sure that like maybe that kind of thing for him was um like a power

trip that he was into before and now that he's done some more work in therapy and like not saying that that's like a bad thing at all but like lots of kinks have different like origins of like oh this makes me feel really in control this makes me feel powerful or whatever maybe that was something that like the power imbalance in your relationship that was something that he was really attracted like that was like a very attractive thing and now he's done more of this self-work and that's not something he's into in the practicality of it but i think like beyond all of those like intertwining things this is how like you said this is how like kinks and stuff work and it's understanding that this is also why we say like don't ever like pass your own boundaries or do

something you're uncomfortable with for the sake of someone else because it's also like you don't know until you're in the moment and doing all of that stuff and it needs to be both people are equally as excited and all of that, that it does feel like, is there more resentment there to the fact that you really changed how you feel about it? Or is it more, oh, fuck, I've learned so much about me. And now I'm wondering if my relationship, we're not on the same page with things. And now I've opened up this Pandora's box of what I'm into that I now can't close. And I'm in a relationship that isn't going to fulfill those needs and feelings because that's also valid that happens like especially when you've been together since you were 19 like you got married yeah married at

19 that like you guys have been together for a really long time that once you have a chance to explore non-monogamy and all of that kind of stuff I think it's just about figuring out what of this is i'm upset because i opened myself up and he didn't yeah or like or oh i'm upset because like i'm i'm upset at you because i did all of this for you and i don't mean this in a bad way but i'm upset i did this like for you and then for fucking what like i did all of this or is it like i'm upset that like i did all of this work and i've now figured out something about me that i'm into that now puts our relationship in jeopardy and like and if this had never happened then like i would be blissfully ignorant and knowing this is something that i'm into which

i would say if it's the latter i wouldn't say that you like people discover those things like there are so so many people who are in like long-term relationship long-term heterosexual relationships who realize that they're bi or they realize that they're pan or they realize that any of those kinds of things that like they come to like i don't say come to terms in like a negative way, but they start to like, you can learn a lot about yourself and your sexuality in a relationship that is not what you find out that you're into, or you find out you're attracted to, and that's okay. So if this was the way that you had to find out that this was something you're really

interested in, and then maybe this relationship that you're currently in is not the right one for you, that's fine. But also at the same time, if it's just, I did this thing that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with for you and now like this it's opened my eyes to something that I am into and also I think part of it too may be that you have never been with anyone else and so now you were excited about you know tasting someone else yeah but I talk about this this is like exactly what a couple's therapist is for um yeah because it's also like being able to like unpack the origin of like what specifically turns him on about those like specific things um

and yeah because like once you involve other people in it it is yeah it's it's a fetish has to involve all consenting parties and like it can be hard if what he's actually into is like talking about doing it but not actually doing it that's going to be pretty difficult if you can't just make it up and like oh i'm pretending i'm talking to somebody else that we're going to do it with but like if you literally rope in a third person to like unless that they're into it too exactly like you all have to be on the same page and i think it had kind of fizzled out until you know it seems like this other dude got I got bored during quarantine and message and was like hey did that ever happen and then

he got excited then he realized that it wasn't something he actually wanted to do yeah so I think like the way that you had a conversation with your husband at the beginning of like your boundaries and like what you were comfortable and like okay we can do this texting thing and finding a way to do all of that I think now that you have to have that flipped conversation about like okay so what are you into like and it is a trial and error and figuring it out and we can't hold animosity towards people for thinking they might be into something and then taking it back and then like be like oh i'm actually not because like it is a whole discovery process but you also have to honor your your feelings and if it and wants and desires and what you're willing to hold

back now that you've unlocked something so also yeah i mean i would do i would have that conversation and then definitely have that conversation with um a therapist your playlist might get you through the workday but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs what work helped them build a life how did they adapt as the world around them changed with ancestry you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors.

Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Okay, so Don't Blame Them is where a listener calls in with their own advice from a call that we've already given advice on. So you listen, you're like, oh, I have something to add.

i have some insight personal experience maybe just another another bit of a bit of perspective all right so this is from season 7 episode 20 the original caller um was uh someone who had called in saying that her boyfriend um had like softly proposed before um and now um says he doesn't want to get married and so here's someone sharing their own advice hi megan and melissa i am calling for the don't blame them for a caller on season 7 episode 20 the girl who said her boyfriend proposed and changed his mind my now fiance and i have been together for six and a half years and have to live together for five for the first two and a half years of our relationship we always talked about marriage a proposal children suddenly a

time hit where he said he liked our lives and we didn't need a piece of paper to show people he loved me we talked about it a lot I let him work through his thoughts and feelings and wouldn't you know a year and a half later he took me to Nashville and proposed I think it is a common phase men sometimes go through as my best friend's now husband was the same communication is everything in a relationship talk it through help him figure out what he wants and hopefully you guys land on watching the same thing good luck i wish you all the best i'm curious though i i am always curious these people like was but did her fiance was it a ruse or was it just like it doesn't seem like it seems like he got cold feet and then they talked out the feelings for why he had them which

is you know the advice that we gave is you should talk to him and figure out why i mean 2021 and the idea that marriage proposals need to be the biggest surprise in the world no no that getting getting engaged the proposal can be a surprise the engagement should not be a surprise that just stresses me out for everybody yeah would love to know the update of that but i'm so nervous if it's just like didn't go well you know it's always so bad when it's like here's the it's either like they're gonna propose or like they're not like oh that always stresses me out well um that is it for our episode hope you all enjoyed if you want to call in for an upcoming episode leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio

message at meganpodcast at gmail.com again keep it under three minutes write it down practice please be 18 or over have your parents permission let us know your pronouns and put as much detail as possible and if you have an update for us please um send us you want to send us an email yeah send us an email let us know you got an update and we would love to have you on the show we have changed the instagram handle from don't blah meme pod so sorry rip everybody's like what it is now by megan and melissa and a lot of people are wondering if we're rebranding the show this current show we're not um much like marvel we are expanding the universe and we will be sharing that instagram handle with some future projects that we've got in the works

yeah not the last you'll see of us what if we were like and we like change the name and we're like this is the last that you'll see of us and then don't post ever again they're like what goodbye we know and we change it to bye bye that would be so funny um so we're excited we will obviously like let everyone know one the um things and if you are in our patreon you've been getting little sneak peeks and us convert talking about stuff that's happening so if you would like to join our patreon we do i mean our videos are there it's only a dollar a month for all of the video episodes and video versions of the podcast and then it is five dollars a month for the live streams which is where we talk about everything anything and everything taylor swift albums um

megan markle life yeah last time we talked about nudity and television shows and movies and what it's like to film that for a good time we talked about snatch patch that's what courage she named it um and yeah so if you want to check out patreon we're also on stitcher premium ad free but leave us a review on the apple podcast app if you like the podcast it always makes my day to see some nice reviews there from should we read a nice one oh yeah is there a nice one all right here's a review from someone called m jones 1a3 says all-time fave i've been listening to this podcast on and off since megan kicked it off in a youtube video megan and melissa let me spell my name with two s's but i'll forgive you never in all caps hesitate to make me laugh

out loud and i'm not pretending when it's really a nose exhale a real laugh they also talk about serious issues intelligently and with nuance while also having fun and giving good and honest advice i could listen to them just chat for an hour but that along with excellent unequal unqualified advice incredible i'll be a forever listener that is so nice thank you that was really sweet it really does like make my day and like to see people who like like the show that's like one thing i'm very proud of we don't have a high turnover rate of audience like people like listen and stick around which makes me really happy to like hear that people are like oh no this is like something i've listened to since the beginning and yeah all of that stuff so if you would like

to leave a nice review it helps us out um also downloading the episode make sure you're subscribing to wherever you subscribe to podcasts that also helps us out so we can pay some bills thank you we really appreciate it that really like made me when someone just like gets the show that makes me very happy well because then it doesn't it feels like everything we're doing just translates completely because it's like we're on the same page and then oh yeah they're on the same page too like great like we're all we all know what we're doing which is nice and you know the loud the the negative ones can be so loud so it's always nice to focus on the positive ones um so what do people should follow i mean follow both of our personal instagrams but also go

follow melissa's new business yes please everything's listed in the show notes uh-huh also listed like in our profiles too on instagram if you don't know where to go to specific things and if you are able to please um get vaccinated shoot it up shoot it up shoot it up and i'm not saying if you want to it's if you're able to because i am able to i want to to keep people safe but i also have a severe severe severe phobia of needles it will like so much that i've got gas to get my uh wisdom teeth taken out and i fought through the gas for them not to put the needle in me that's how much of a phobia i have they had to physically hold me down while i was gassed up yeah to make me but i will be getting vaccinated i will be having a buddy come along to physically

hold me down it will be great and i and i i told you this obviously like off air and i've talked to a lot of people because people have asked about like phobias of this i'm not like to your extent of like that fear of it mine's more of like we've talked my body reacts i don't necessarily psychologically think about it like that but by far the quickest that's ever been like it was like the most it is the it is the absolute quickest so it's always the lead up that is like the part that's that but just knowing that the once it's completed it's it'll be the quickest one ever so but yeah thank you to everybody who has been vaccinated who's doing all of that stuff and uh appreciate everybody still wear your mask still keep everybody alive don't kill your grandma

and don't kill betty white every time she's trending on twitter it's cruel but now twitter has started i don't know if you noticed they said she's not dead is not dead the fucking headline like when you look on the trending tab before it before you even click on it she's not dead yeah before you even click on it it's in the subscript it's okay we will see you all next time don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts edited by katrina henning and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso