Don't Blame Me! - Costal Elite Set the Standard

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

This week of DBM, Meghan and Melisa are giving advice to someone who found their engagement ring and is unsure if they want to get married, and receive an update from the caller whose friend thought everyone was flirting with her, including the caller. They also discuss local, the Kevin Hart Roast, Melisa's new hair, Meghan's healing hand, and GO TO THE DOCTOR. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Subscribe to But Am I Watching? Apple  Spotify Subscribe to Don’t Blame Me! Apple Spotify Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) DBM Submission Form Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. hello hello everyone you have to turn on the video for this because somebody is debuting uh like if you were a pop star this would be the sign of a new era a new album yeah i mean it's a new era for me anyway but 100 it is the cutest haircut i've ever seen the cutest hair color look at that now now everybody's gonna have to go to the video i know because i haven't even posted on social media yet because i i was out this weekend but i was it was dark outside and it wasn't gonna give what it needed to give so i didn't take any pictures so you guys are getting the first if i haven't posted over the weekend i don't think i will because i might go anywhere

it's so cute we need to do a little photo shoot with your hair a debut thank you i'm obsessed with it did you say she's toning it again do you want to do that she i don't want her to tone it i told her i don't yeah i don't i like this color i really love this color yeah this is this is on a yacht hair yeah shaking your ass on a fucking yacht oh my god i love it and with the lips like everything is like it's so fucking cute and like you're very ready for summer i've been getting my lashes done too wait shut up when did you that start two weeks ago you've seen me since not person so like no yeah i know like my eyelashes are you can't really see them as it is our eyes it's the angle of both of our we have the same eyes it's the angle of our eyes and like

how we film like you can't tell what yeah if we have to mascara we have no mascara lashes but no now that you pointed out i can definitely see some more definition yeah i think i'm gonna get bigger in it when i get a fill i wanted to see i got just the natural ones just to see how look on camera that's not big enough so i'm gonna get more i think lily like fully applies a strip lash for on camera and i was like that's a dedication that like i just like do not fucking have no these are so easy like i've never learned how to do a strip lash either no i can't i can't i fully can't do it it's not a skill that i have and you know again in the same way that you know i go to a mechanic to fix my car i go to a lash esthetician lash tech to do my lashes because

that's their job no that that's that's their job that's the rule now like they are just that's what they're supposed to do and like that's not my calling and like who am i who am i to like to to tread over the training and, like, the skill set that you have and be like, I can just do this myself. Right. And I also, like, I can't, I've never been able to get a full eye exam because when they do that little, I can't keep my eyes open. So what am I supposed to do, like, on my own?

I always wonder that, like, is the test, like, if you can keep your eye open, then, like, technically you have failed because I'm like, I don't know how. I don't know. Unless you numb my, when I found out when I got LASIK, when they put these numbing eye drops in my eye, and they're like and it you just won't blink and i was like no i think i'll blink they're like no no you blinking is like a subconscious thing that you do because your eyes start to feel dry

you will not blink if your if your eyes are numb and i was like are you sure also if something's coming at your eye i don't understand how a puff of air you're not going to close your eyes sorry totally but then i then but i also thought i'm like once i found out there were numbing eye drops i'm like okay if they really needed to keep your eye open they would have put those drops in right so i have questions but i love your hair everyone go watch the video version of this it's just thank you you can watch on patreon let me show the highlight no it's so good i love it oh my god i love it i love it i love it i love it it's um it's so fucking cute it's gonna look so cute no matter what you do like how you style it too like that's what i love about

highlights is because like once everybody has natural highlights from like going out in the sun but like once you add the chemical ones then when you like put your hair up in ways that like the hair doesn't naturally hit the sun you have that definition and it's so fun yeah hell yeah i told y'all that you know i'd be looking different and i told megan she would see it first and that's all i asked for all i asked for was i need to be able to say it first and i got a text after right as soon as you finished your very long hair appointment and i was like oh my god i fucking love it yeah sorry for the live stream well hey beauty takes time guys i i mean we started at 1 30 fully thought we were going to be done yeah i mean didn't finish like nine yeah

that's if i have like a one o'clock appointment it's taken till the evening if there's color involved but it's just it's gorgeous thank you and i'm glad you can um pull the weight for the gorgeous hair today because i need to wash my hair so desperately it doesn't look terrible it's um it's not you know perfect it doesn't look terrible it's incredibly stiff well luckily you're just sitting you know yeah you're not in the wind so it oh no no no no it's the headphones if i don't have the headphones on then it like really can like it can do what it wants to do but right now we're we're we're here but we're where we also are is on the podcast where we're going to give you some advice because this is an advice podcast. And we also talk shit. We also

gossip. We have fun. We have a good time here. So if you want to call in, you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. International listeners, you can send an audio message at meganpodcast.gmail.com. You can also fill out the form that is listed in our show notes and on our socials. You can send us a DM for the audio version. Voice memo or voicemail has to be under three minutes with the written version under 300 words and if you have been around for a while you know the rest of the rules and the only one that really matters is that you are over 18 and you know how to tell us a story like you know how you know how to tell us what's going on so we can give you the best advice right because we want to give you good advice and we're not here to judge you

unless you you desperately need to be to be judged and most often if you're like my friends are like fine with this. Nope, they're not judging me, but I need to hear from you. That's because you want us to judge you because you need that. And other times it's like, you know, they're all judging me and then we're here to tell you that you're fine. So we even it out. All right. How was your weekend? My weekend was good. I had a tape that I did and then I did a lot of gardening, doing my absolute best to just like be better at gardening like it's a skill and i think i like forget that i ignore things like fertilizing and like we i literally just saw tiktok that was like don't use this soil use this kind of soil and i was like oh i'm so sorry i like wasn't even

thinking about that different brands of soil are are very different not even the ones that say like oh this is for planter beds they're like yeah but it's not as good it doesn't have as much nitrogen and i was like okay now i'm getting sciencey so we're having to uh do all these different things to the garden but um make sure you're talking to like the people at where you get your plants yeah we do we talk to them about about that so it's also like specific to the area that you live in not just well and the plants like some that are more like that need more nitrogen some that need less some that need more acidic soil some that need less so we've been doing that and then we're also we expanded the clover lawn and we are going to keep expanding it everywhere and i'm just

like getting every day attempting to get closer and closer to my like english countryside cottage garden like secret garden vibe and we'll see i have ended up on peggy martin rose tiktok which are these like climbing beautiful roses that don't get sick as much as the other ones and i was like oh my god i need these but everyone's like but they only bloom like one to two times a year and to that i'm like you guys they're flowers why do you know april showers being bring my flowers like in general most things are dormant for like specifically things with like colorful flowers like they don't have colorful flowers year-round so um i'm deciding if that's what we want to go into um and then i've been doing a lot of painting and crafting because i can't knit yet because of

my burned hand which is doing so much better good right it looks a lot better it does it's still pretty dry specifically like in the cracks and it still has like friction pain like i accidentally like scratched it and cried but i can like touch it and i can like gently like rub it but i still can't knit yet because a like the yarn will get caught on the it hasn't totally finished peeling so it'll get caught there and also like this is like my working hand with knitting but this is like what will like hold the tension of the yarn so it's the one I would be better off if it was the other hand because this one needs to essentially like hold the yarn tight and like the yarn like passes over your fingers and stuff and so I'm like oh unless I like figure out a new

way how to knit um I think that I am having to take a little bit of pause so that's why painting has been easier and yeah i'll show you i mean this might be a sneak peek for my vlog but if not it's already up but i did this one and then the better one i don't have a picture of oh not pretty i would buy that from you i was thinking about that when i after i finished it i was like this would look nice in your place or a vibe like this i was thinking like i should i should make some more yeah you know you did inspire me though you know i wrote down on my to-do list yesterday i wrote make gynecologist appointment yeah i'm this is my time for doctors right now this is my doctor i can tell you're getting like and i was like oh i gotta i gotta

start doing shit i'm behind yeah so yes make your gyno everybody make your gyno appointment apparently there's like a new thing on social media of like so we we've moved past i mean people are still demonizing birth control um but now they're demonizing pap smears and being like don't get them and i'm like oh my god why because people are saying that they're uncomfortable or painful and like they're not that i don't think they're comfortable or painful whatsoever i think if you find it so deeply uncomfortable or painful and you are not sure why because like trauma vaginismus or like there are certain things that like your body can respond that you logically know why this is like such a physically uncomfortable thing for you but if you don't know why it is like

so painful and it hurts like that's a medical thing talk to your doctor about it without a doubt like there's an explanation for why if if it causes you that much pain like there is either a emotional or which would be something you you you know and that's something that you're aware of or something you're unaware of which is like a medical reason why it's that uncomfortable it shouldn't be that uncomfortable whatsoever but also like cancer is really fucking uncomfortable like it's like the the risk versus reward of it is i yeah and i and the whole thing of being like you know they just like don't do enough research about women's health and like they you know they need to do more about this and like give us other options and i'm like no this is the reason this is

what we have if you're gonna turn away like the progress we've made and like birth control is one of the most fucking research things ever like if you're gonna turn those things down because you want there to be better options like but not participating in the system doesn't mean that the system doesn't exist and it does also doesn't show that there's a need for studying women's health whatsoever so um yeah i've been seeing people talk about how they're unnecessary and traumatic and so people aren't gonna go people refuse to do them and like that's something that like it can be it can be scary it can be traumatic and you can even just like have like a phobia of like you don't like needles but like that so like you you make your appointment and you work your

way up to that and like that's the responsibility you tell the people to like you have to talk to them yeah you're allowed to be have like a rational or irrational fear of something but like when that thing is your health care you do still have to participate but like that fear that phobia that anxiety those nerves that can dictate the way in which you go about it not if you do it or not and also like i yeah i just think a lot of people don't even know like some people haven't even gotten the gardasil like the hpv shot and like all of that other stuff that i'm like it's it's straight up cancer it's not like just sex it's not like sd and like yeah so i i that stresses me out and i need to go let me go and i took a really long time to go to the ob-gyn not

because i was scared of a pap smear but because i was scared they were going to tell me i was gonna die like that i like had something that would kill me or whatever and the i've said this before but like my old ob-gyn said like the most comforting thing ever that i don't even think she understood that like that was exactly what i needed to hear but she was like hey if you're dying we're i'm not gonna know it on the first time like the first appointment like you don't have to worry about me telling you that or any doctor telling you that on your first appointment because like i i don't know like i won't be able to know or i won't be right they haven't ran those hit yeah and so it was like oh okay so I had this whole fear and it was that was stopping me from

making the first appointment like I wasn't scared to make the second appointment I wasn't scared to get like I was like so afraid that if I went that this would change the trajectory of my life like forever and like that's just not possible so and that was like very helpful and I took a really long time before I got pap smear didn't hurt at all was not scary totally fine yeah the first time I went I was very nervous and then I was just like that's it after like it it literally takes a few seconds and was like I truly was like oh and my doctor kind of like laughed and it's like see I told you it's not that big a deal but I was in my 20s then but you know it's never like you should be going regularly also for mammograms too you need to get that done you

should be checking at home as well yep yep yep yep yep so that's what melissa's doing after this hell yeah do you have the same ob-gyn or do you have a new one i have a new one we're gonna see and then i have eye appointment optometrist next week can you see yeah i can see fine but i just haven't been in like years you should be going yearly but i haven't i just assume as somebody who can't see that that's the only people who go to the optometrist because there's also like eye cancers too like you have to get everything checked great fucking point yeah i've been thinking about that with the dermatologist because mods goes to dermatologist every six months every year but he's because he's a lot of moles yeah um and so i am like oh i went for

acne but i and they would do like regular mold check but like i haven't gone in a long time for that and i was like oh i should even though i don't like have a lot of moles i have like yeah but i and i have like nothing new but i'm like oh but you know i always make mods like check my back and like see if like anything's different or whatever but i was like oh i should i should definitely just go because of you know all of the things like just checking your body yeah good call good call you're writing that down too yeah and i wrote down that i have to wash my niece's princess dress that i uh thrifted this past weekend she's gonna be so fucking excited it's so cute so fucking cute and now i have to get her brother pokemon cards because

i can't i can't yeah you can't get one without the other yeah yeah and he doesn't give a shit about clothes is he having a kindergarten graduation probably oh my god i if so i can't fucking way because i get pictures all the time of like the whole class like anytime they do whatever and the kids in that class are so fucking cute like he's obviously adorable but all of them are so cute they're they're at the age where they're like just always pulling their pants up you know what i mean and so like everyone's pants is just like so high and they all have those like grimace little smiles oh my god i need to ask i'll write that down too yeah um my nieces was this week and i've always known she was tall but i didn't realize like i haven't

seen her next to the children oh my god she's like a full head taller than them we talked about because they're born within like a couple months of each other we've always weeks yeah we've always joked that it was like if you put them in the same room it'd be so funny because she would be like twice of him but now knowing that i look at my nephew he's he's relatively small in his class and he's six so like he's older in the kindergarten class yeah i was like geez yeah uh she looks gym now oh my god gymnastics but i'm like girl you don't you're she's gonna grow out of it wait she's so tall yeah oh my god she's also she's a leader she is she knows all she knows all this she's not looking at any of the other kids no she knows exactly what she's

doing hey you might have another performer on your hands great love it since her sister is now too cool for school what's her what's her vibe now just kind of looking sideways at folks all the time well that's i mean she's always she's still doing that when she was making yes but it's not before it was more like she's in with the joke on things but now she's just like judging Oh, OK. Before it was a little more like social commentary and spooky. And now it's a little more just like judgmental and directed. Yes. God, that's so funny. OK, we're going to take a break. And when we get back, we're going to give some advice.

We'll see you next time. center.com slash Spotify. We're back, and it is time to give some advice. First up, this person is 23, she, her. I found out by accident that my boyfriend of almost three years has an engagement ring. My initial reaction was shock because we had chatted that, yes, we were getting engaged someday, but it never had the it's this year chat. We're going on vacation at the end of May, and i think he will do it then i'll be freshly 23 i don't leave oh sorry i'm having a hard time reading this sentence i will be freshly 23 and for context we live in the midwest so i'm not even a child bride here well i hope you know you are a child bride here and um on as the coastal

elite we do set the standard yeah but you know my sisters both got married young so who am i to judge and it's not and for them not young nope i have a few friends are married which is great and some are divorced yep my friends mostly divorced i have a few things giving me anxiety one if i hadn't found out it would have been a total surprise not a surprise he wants to marry me just the timing two my friends didn't know or playing it cool but i think they genuinely didn't know three i didn't get to try on rings so the sizing will probably be off for you to try it on when you found it sorry oh good question yeah actually i don't know if i it could be like one of those like hot potato things like you open it and then you're oh you

like throw it it's like a bomb like you throw it across the room and so like maybe she maybe she like didn't want to look at it too close but you're right like i don't know that i would have thought to try it on and like realistically if i found it i'm not gonna forget that i well i have adhd i might forget that i found it but like i probably wouldn't forget that no you should try on yeah you know where it is at least just hold it up like you can hold it up and see like that's my ring size you know what your ring size is compare it to your other rings just put it next to it put it on top it's not the exact ring i had in mind but it's still gorgeous and number five a few months ago i almost broke up with him because my needs weren't being met this feels like a fast

turnaround he showed growth but it's also only been a little while and he still has some behaviors that perpetuate that i feel like a conversation a few months ago could have solved this anxiety low-key freaking out should i feel completely at ease and trust my gut he's 25 and almost all of his friends are engaged for context i am an anxious overthinker lol i'm gonna go even deeper on you um i think he probably bought the ring those months ago when you guys were having problems and that was a solution and then he fixed it and then he kept throwing but as we've said on this podcast the engagement itself should be a surprise if that's what you want but going into it you should be prepared like everybody should be consenting before the

engagement is asked and i know you talked about it but it was was it like a for sure like yes we're going to do this now obviously not because if that was the case you wouldn't be having these questions especially the part of you wanted to break up just a few months ago that means you haven't and you're still like thinking on that you haven't worked through those issues fully yet he's shown some growth i'm sorry but i need a grown man like you need to i mean growth is a constant thing but it's if it's not to the point where you're like yes 100 i'm down to marry this dude no well to me this also just sounds like he doesn't know you that well because like you said you're an anxious overthinker and he's just gonna like surprise you with an engagement like anxious

overthinkers don't need someone to like take the wheel and just like control the life it's like you need to have conversations to ease the anxiety and so there do you know what i mean like it's not something where it's like oh this is just solved by like i don't give you an option to overthink like that's not that that's not sustainable and like that's not a relationship or a partnership so like all of the facts that you have in here to me i'm like that having a having a conversation even if it's multiple conversations about like yeah we we want to get married someday is not the green light to propose like i'm a firm believer and like like you said like we haven't had it oh this is going to happen this year like that it needs it needs to be that like and because

also unfortunately like a lot of the time uh engagements when you do when you make it more of a surprise it it makes it so it feels harder to say no because saying no when you have the stakes like that and it wasn't cleared we didn't have that conversation ahead of time like i didn't know i didn't have some idea that this was coming within the next calendar year or whatever then it makes it hard to say no because it makes it like if i say no we're breaking up like it's and that to me is like just so not fair because it's not indicative of like how much this person cares about you or how serious it is but it's like no if we want to like if we want to like get into the like the most serious biggest partnership ever like we have to be partners in this like it has

to be collaborative so i i think this is i know you don't consider yourself like a child bride but you mentioned that all of his friends are engaged you didn't mention anything about like your friends and i think that like there is something to be said about men who their friend group gets like it kind of just becomes like a faster track for that and it is not indicative of your relationship and where you're at and if you both are ready it's if he is ready and he wants to make that next step for his personal life and that's what it sounds like because like it's been like you almost broke up with him a couple months ago and like he's made some growth and progress and change but like that's pretty fucking recent i think i would be low-key offended if someone

just decided to pop the question right after that to be like whoa like did you think that i wasn't gonna follow through on that did you think that like me confronting you about your behavior and x y and z and like you improving on such a minor level you thought that was a green light to go ahead this is our future like i i want more of a partner like i want more of that so i don't think that you're overthinking this at all i think he's under thinking this um and i think that you're like should i feel completely at ease and trust my gut your gut i think you're a little confused with your gut saying because like right now everything that you're sharing with us your gut is not like this is cool this is chill i'm happy with this i'm no i don't need to read into this

this doesn't feel layered this feels very easy this is the easiest yes ever i think you should trust your gut but i don't i think your gut is is telling you that like this is too fast and it's too fast for you too it doesn't matter if it's not too fast like relative to your community to your peers to your friends but like it is too soon to get engaged a couple months after you have had you've almost broken up because your needs weren't being met because your need is not an engagement ring like yeah and i think oftentimes men can think that that is like that will fix this and like the more serious the relationship is that you will inherently treat each other better and the relationship will get better when in reality it just makes the stakes a lot fucking higher and

makes it a lot harder to leave right so this you can't put a band-aid on something that's still being like you gotta actually work through everything first and see if this is what you want at the end of the day and you have a lot of doubts and like you know if you're like not sure your needs are being met or they weren't being met i don't like the assumption that now he thinks they all are and so now it's time for an engagement it's like talk to me about it and also like what if i have a ring i want to pick out unless you say you want it all to be a surprise i'm like why does he get to make that that call in that decision but i would bring it up before the trip i would be like hey i saw a ring here and like i think that's something that like we should talk about i've

talked about the future but like i don't know if you are planning on proposing on this trip or whatever that is but like i still view our future is us married but like i don't think that the timing right now is exactly what i'm looking for what i want or you can play the psychological warfare game which i don't think you should do because your relationship is not necessarily like in a great place but like being like oh my god i hate when people like totally surprise engagements like that's crazy did you hear so and so like just like completely pop and they had no idea like i don't think that's the healthy way to do it um and you sound mentally like screwed on so i don't think that that's what you will partake in um i don't think it's a bad idea though yeah like

or even i do think you need to talk about it outright but i don't think like if i mean this is if this is going to be your future host and you should be able to talk to him about everything no matter what but i kind of want you to make him feel a little stupid yeah because like this is really fucking stupid and like i think it's more cruel to be like hey this is really fucking stupid than being like oh my god did you hear this insane scenario i just made up of this person who did this this and it's like how fucking crazy is that like that's insane and having big oh because also like your friends also if i was a friend i would be like hey what the fuck to him i'm like you're proposed she found her huh so i i think you just need to call the

troops and like he needs he needs to know that like this is a crazy thing to do and like if you can move past this and grow from like this poor decision making like your relationship will be incredibly strong but i think if like you think if you say anything about this that this will implode the whole relationship then i this relationship is not it all right i also want know what the ring looks like. Watch it be like a Yumi and Tuscany and it's like, this wasn't for you. I truly don't. I don't I don't I never really want to see people's rings because it's such a personal thing. And, you know, what I think is ugly, somebody else loves. So I don't want and sometimes what I like other people hate. So I don't want to see it. She said they're like,

it's not what I would have picked. It's nice. But that's where I'm like, OK, I know your vibe, so I can respond accordingly. Yeah, you should get the ring you want. Yes, and he should know what the ring you want is. And he should have been talking to your friends, too. And your friends should have known better. Well, I don't think he talked to the friends at all. I know, but like she said, if they could be playing it off. Oh, I'd be mad at my fucking friends if that was the case.

Then they should have known better. Yeah, they should have known that that wouldn't have fixed anything. So, yeah, you got to sometimes I just know I'm channeling my West Coast bitch to your Minnesota nice, your Midwest nice. trying to be like so polite take some of my bay area bitch and and just feel through that and convey that because like this is a crazy crazy fucking thing all right we're gonna take a break trade ice skating at nathan phillips square for ice cubes in your umbrella drink let porter airlines fly you from toronto pearson non-stop to 10 top sun destinations in mexico the caribbean and costa rica enjoy award-winning porter service toronto has loved for 20 years

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SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system, and it's ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI cloud ERP for any size business. And we're back. this weekend i went to a comedy show well it's an improv show um called who all gonna be there when i went to the very first one last year and it's cool it's hosted by created by somebody that we're friendly we've never just like hung out one-on-one but we've hung out in groups her name is yasmin and so i went to one last year and she also had one a couple years ago where it's been more than a couple years where she like had this vision of this is what the improv show

is going to be and so this one was part of like this at the top of this year which again the show has only been going on a year at the top of this year she was like i want to be in netflix what's it called netflix is a joke yeah i want to be part of netflix is a joke and they got it and so janelle um avia from avid elementary was there oh sean the guy that plays it was sean was there beautiful beautiful he's beautiful he's a he's he's a work of art yes he is i mean ever that that it's a gorgeous show it's an absolutely gorgeous show and when you're on a gorgeous show and you shine being extra gorgeous like that's a otherworldly level of hot right right and kendrick sampson was there too cool yeah it was a fun show it was fun show

did you see the mayor of arcadia yes okay this is so crazy so if anyone doesn't know the mayor of arcadia is a neighborhood in los angeles county and it is wealthy very beautiful the house i always joke so like some of my favorite thrift stores are in arcadia and like my favorite thing that i find so funny about arcadia is arcadia is like if sims built a neighborhood you have all of these gorgeous huge amazing houses none of them look like they're on the same street they don't look like they're from the same era or like the same vibe designer like it is as opposed to like other areas of la and i'm sure there are certain sections of arcadia that like have a little bit more of like a cohesive architectural vibe um but like other parts of la like it looks like la

here i'm like this could be new jersey this could be any like it's just all these big beautiful houses that look like you made them all in sims and you made different vibes for different families um but last time i was in arcadia we were driving by and like at a there's a golf course and like there's a big parking lot next to the golf course and like a community center or whatever and there's these cars with like all of these like big uh taxi style um like pyramid like uh signage like the big ones that cover the whole top of like a sedan and i was like huh like i wonder if that because like it's they're not professional they're just like regular people cars but with like this big advertising on the roof and I was like I wonder what this is and I looked it up and it was

the for the Chinese Communist Party and I was like huh that's a little weird like I did it but it was it's a different thing that is like essentially like through the Chinese Communist Party it's like this organization or whatever and I was like oh weird but even Wikipedia was like that's what the the tie is and I was like oh I didn't know that that was like a as much of a thing here and i was seeing a lot and i was like odd and then fucking like three days later i get see the thing of like she has been the mayor of arcadia has been fired for uh having ties to the chinese communist party and for like not disclosing that she was like submitting stories to uh art to websites that promote that language and propaganda that she was using to like push through all of

that and i guess her like partner was arrested as well prior to this and i was like whoa yeah she's been she confessed she pled guilty and then the official charges working as an agent of china and they've been saying this for a while and i thought people were just being racist me too me to but i will i do stand by that it is still a little racist because um because like we have ties uh there are government and political ties to other countries that are like very deep and very very very intense but like because it's our ally versus china like that's fine and so i do think the grandstanding of like any foreign involvement in like our politics is like that is a hard line and i'm like no no it's not it's not a hard it just depends on who it is yes and

so i was like damn imagine if this happened for any sort of relation to other because like it's it sounds she confessed it sounds like she has like a tie to it but like it there are much deeper and more visible public ties that other political figures have to other countries that happen to be our allies and that's that's fine and so i'm like i it's just odd to think you're supposed to be outraged about one not the about any foreign involvement except like if it's our friend and i'm like i don't know them so like is it stranger danger is it not stranger danger is it any involvement or what um but i was i was so shocked by that and i just have to say i i they're trying to use this as like the democrats or whatever and i was like okay no no no also i just

want to say if you're in government or really most people please don't use ai images of yourself because i was looking at her official government picture not the same person yeah like i was like oh this is a fake news article like i literally i had to do much more detail because i was like someone's making up lies about this poor woman, they've changed her face. No, that was what the photo she was using as her official government image. Which I also think that, like, if you can't, like, remove a Getty watermark, I don't think you should be able to, like, put your government photo through, like, the Yasification app.

Like, I just don't think that that's, like, a storyline in Abbott. Like, I just don't think that's fair. I have no desire to talk about the roast. Oh, my God. You know I almost went. me and sona were going yeah and i'm so glad we didn't go yeah i didn't watch it i just like saw some of the jokes and then i saw some of being like the writers on this and i was like there are writers on it and all the writers are white and i was like and like anything production company i don't understand that i watched kat williams full thing and i was like yeah this is what they

needed kat has been exposing people for years um and he tells the truth and now people are listening yeah yeah like he'll go on platforms that he knows like will be mad at him just so that he can tell the truth and people want them him there because he's funny but they don't think about the truth part well it also feels like he knows that like he has to plant the seed and like however long it takes you to find it like i that's fine but like yeah it's the tree must be fully might be fully bloomed but it was there i'm not waiting for the eyes i'm gonna say it and the eyes will find it like the eyes and the ears will find it i'm gonna do this and then i will have a extensive track record history and phone log of all the fucking times that i've said this

and like he's got a perfect record so then people go back like i always anytime anything happens that he essentially predicted i like go back and like watch all this other stuff going okay let's see what's coming down the pipe what is it what else does he know yep he said i might tell a joke but i'm never told a lie yep no lies no lies i forgot how good of an actor and how funny he was until one of them days i was like oh my god he's so good you're so but the thing is he's turned down like in his ropes he was like the only reason that kevin hart has the career that i that he has is because he gets the roles that i turned down because i refuse to be the coon in the joke i'm like yeah well he does so much of like his own he is and him as himself is like

is so funny and like he does so much of his own stuff that like when i watched one of them days and i was like i forgot like yeah you're a good you're not just like funny you're a really good actor you should i know i'm always telling you to watch atlanta but like you should watch atlanta but like the thing about atlanta is you can just dip in with episodes you don't have to watch there is like a through storyline but you can just watch individual episodes because they're their own thing but uh he had an episode called florida man i think that's what he won his emmy for i'm already intrigued by the name yeah i'll write it down we need a new show anyway we just um finished or alligator man i think the episode was called florida man but he his character was

alligator man yeah yeah we need a new show so that could be we're gonna watch that we also need we're gonna watch margo's got money problems i have that on my list too and it got renewed too oh lovely wonderful running point got renewed good jay ellis is booked and busy he another one of his shows got picked up too it's a cop show but so i won't be watching it but it's a spinoff of that abc cop show 9-1-1 no i've just when i said that i was like there's actual multiple the rookie which i think the rookie is in fact a spinoff of and i think the rookie it's his own it's a remake i think and then it had as one spinoff that had nisi nash and then this is another spinoff 9-1-1 9-1-1 isn't isn't that's what nisi's on oh sorry she was on reno 9-1-1

oh yeah totally different show yeah but that's what i'm getting it mixed up with i was like i've definitely seen clips of her in something with 9-1-1 but i assumed in my mind i went to were calling the police no she was in rookie feds i didn't know that she was in that billboard um by your place i would see her all the time hey hello hello but damn good for him yeah he's got that he's got mindy's other show plus running point i'm like this man very booked very busy good for him handsome very tall yeah he's he's he's he's really he's gorgeous too like in spoiler for anyone who hasn't caught up on running point even though it's it's set the stage in scene one and in season one that like the idea that like max greenfield lovely love schmidt from new girl

but the fact that like we're supposed to like see jay ellis and him side by side and it's like gosh who is kate hudson going to pick i'm like hmm she's gonna come pick the pick the complaining whining uh dentist who constantly talks about how he's being taken advantage of even though he is so much of his own money he's independently wealthy and um or is she going to pick the person who's also deeply in love with basketball and who is jay ellis i wonder i wonder i love this season though of running point perfect show it's it's phenomenal so i can't wait for another season i was wondering if they were going to do uh god what did i just recently think that they would include because something had happened with basketball and i was

like oh i wonder if they'll include that in it i can't remember but i do know that the um the character that she's based off of the person she's based off of is in fact endorsing spencer pratt oh god who else she lives in beverly hills so she can't vote for him that's all i hope for did you see that old actress one of my favorites one of the old white ladies you love mm-hmm sally field nope uh jane jane fonda jane fonda not spencer pratt but she endorsed tom steyer seems like hassan piker's also endorsing tom steyer yeah i saw that pretty early on or no it was like a month ago i mean if i have to vote for him i'll vote for him like if that's my option i will without it out vote for him i just i i would be the biggest fucking hypocrite

in the world if i have talked so much shit on rick caruso for having billions and not fixing the politics to then turn around and vote for a billionaire who like says he has the same politics as me like because like that that fundamental fact that like i have that is like uh makes no fucking sense to me is like if you have if you have money you have the power and like money can buy you even more power but like money itself is in fact the power to like make it right to make a change so like i'm like i don't even want to say like i'm fundamentally against people who have that much money running for office but like i do think that like you don't need to run for office if you have that much you can make all of this other change and specifically you can make that

change to make it undeniable that i should vote for you because you've already fixed so fucking much but like and you can also use that money to influence you know people that are actually qualified to run yeah and i'm not i'm not saying that like you know people should be using their money to influence politicians but if you see yourself as being on the correct side then maybe like throw fundraisers with your other friends to find like that candidate that's gonna like there's ways that you can use your money yeah for better not everybody's a director some people are just producers and that's okay like directors need producers creatives need those people behind them And, like, I also think that, like, if somebody, and it is, like, it is the gall of the white man. It is, like, the white man's plight is that, like, specifically, like, they think that they are the only one who can do the thing. Like, it has to be them. And so, like, I truly do think if you cared the most about this, like, you would, and this is my big issue with politics regardless, is, like, you would, in fact, endorse the person who, like, has the experience to do this.

and like you would you would join forces if this was written by shonda i in my dream world you would join forces and you would back the guy who has the experience who has all of this and you big you have my resources and then it's like not even like a dual ticket but like collaboratively publicly i'm gonna help you and then you're gonna get all of those votes but this whole thing that's like the bernie fucking thing of being like i'm not gonna hillary's not the right blah blah and i was like cool so by the way if you if you just work together you can come on like i just think that there's uh and and i also think that there's a when you have when we criticize non-politicians for coming in here and like making grand statements that they can't follow through on

i think that like the best thing you can do as a politician is to not uh over promise like that's just what you should do and so like stop people being like sorry the best he had the most best response to criminalizing uh ice and like you know sending them all to jail and it and like and like just like ban and doing all that i'm like but he can't do that and so like percera's response of being like i will be a press charges like anyone who's committed criminal like that is what he actually can do but like someone else's response can without a doubt sound more progressive but like I it's not about your personal like belief system and like what you would do in a perfect world like it is like about if you're qualified for the job and like right if you're

gonna vote for someone being like oh he is going to criminalize the entire system of ice and then he does not do that and then you're upset but he could never do that to begin with so like I also want Karen Bass to sue Spencer Pratt for defamation because you know he started saying now what I'm living in a rv because karen bass burned down my house oh yeah i did see that and it's also a lie you know you're not living in an rv and also like you cannot say that she burned down your house right she like that you cannot do that and i think that like i think like letting that happen and like even like airing those all of those things like i think he like you i think that should be like illegal to say something like that because like when we set that precedent of being like i

was being hyperbolic you can't do that in this like this is just not okay um but yeah and everyone's like well he has a political science made like degree okay and he also sold underage nude photos of the olsen twins so there you go also every go to a coffee shop throw a rock every barista there political science degree yeah like political science political science degrees and i trust them more than sprinter pret yes a barista please yeah i love that but like the idea that a political science degree can get you the job as a mayor versus a job working as like a runner in a campaign office or like it can get without a doubt it should open a door for you in that in that field it should not open the biggest door for you yeah immediately all right we're gonna

take a break when we get back we'll get into an update this episode is brought to you by accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. All right, we're back. hey megan and melissa so i'm the girl who called in about two years ago with the friend who said she was flirting with everyone and her so i have a couple updates for you she is currently engaged

about to be married and her husband um she was the other woman with him and he is in a profession that is widely known for cheating so baseball wouldn't be surprised baseball happened to her later down the road um whenever I got her invite to the wedding prior to this she was talking repeatedly about meeting my boyfriend when we came to the wedding and come early to the wedding because they can meet each other and we can all hang out so I get my invite and I don't have a plus one so whatever I accept it and text her hey I was under the impression that I was getting a plus one. I don't know if something happened with your website, but no worries. I just want to let you know in case something was going on. I don't want to put you in an awkward position. So she

sends me, I kid you not, the most chat GPT answer, and basically is like, no, you can't have one, whatever. So then I stew, and I get mad, and she tells me, she's like texting repeatedly, hey are you coming are you coming and keep in mind I'm a graduate student I have no money so finally I'm like I can't make it the dates don't work whatever so I'm just kind of done with her but I also wanted to update you guys on my life because I'm really proud of myself so I graduate in a week with my master's degree I currently have been accepted to my dream job i am dating the absolute love of my life and i think i'm going to get engaged in the next six months to a year and truly could not be happier so even though that friendship didn't work out

everything is working out for me and i just wanted to say thank you to you guys because i've been listening since literally the first episode and feel like i've kind of grown up with you guys so thank you so much thank you I love that I love that I'm a firm believer in like you know when we are like being our real selves and like that sticking up for ourselves like holding true to our values and whatever like everything else falls into place and like that's what like it is a loss of a friendship but like ultimately like that's it's not a it's not a loss you've so much you've gained in your life and like sucks that other people like can't get to be able to like witness that and see that with you but it's not yeah not your responsibility

to like hold yourself back for them so wow congratulations also what a weird thing to be i can't wait to be to bring them early we'll all hang out by the way do you how do you have time to hang out before a wedding yeah and like what was that about was she trying to steal me that was initially my first thought too me too was like hey let me see him let me see if i want to walk down the aisle let me see if i want to swap out the groom want to do a little tradesies no switchbacks actually she'd probably like a switchback yeah option weird um well you know sometimes it takes a while to get rid of a friend but we're eventually getting there you know and i'm happy for you i'm happy that you found the love of your life i'm happy that you've

you're graduating from grad school that's incredible and also i'm happy that you have this job that you you love that's like an absolute dream like perfect sentence i'm graduating from my getting my master's and when i graduate i have my dream job that that is like there's no better in this economy that's what i mean like that's insane like in general a lot of the people everyone i know who has a master's like they probably don't make a lot of money like it's like it's very tough out there it's like a very hard very niche kind of thing and it's like no no i have my dream job and like that's the best yeah and you deserve it and this is great so i'm really happy for you i want to know what the degree is i want to know the job is i want i'm very nosy on

this situation i want to know what the profession of your ex-friends is fiance is i want to know what how they met when she was the other woman i want to know where they got married also is she like i've i presume that they're they're a couple and no judgment but i presume that they're a couple that like you know cheating is fine it has to be because how do you have a wedding where you invite people because i have to say if you're the other woman you get married that's you're eloping you're going to met you're going to like a resort in cabo just you two you're doing something but like when you have like gotten together by nefarious circumstances you don't usually bring your friends and family to like witness you getting betrothed like it's just

usually not how the and especially if like that other person was married or like anything like that before so uh i have to assume that like this is the crowd they run in yeah it's not very normal it sounds like the the type of people that it's not like an open relationship but it's like if you're cheating i don't want to know about it yeah and like both of their parents like that's how they were like that too and they're just like walking around with like the big martini glass and like oh and so so and you're like oh okay yeah well i i don't understand but to each their own i'm glad you found each other well and also like why would you why do you need to get married do you know what i mean like yeah now you've just made this a little more difficult

you can't just like walk away once you're bored you like bounce on and on and on so maybe there's no prenup maybe that'll help all right thank you so much for the update i still want to know more so update us again uh join us on thursday for but am i watching where we'll be doing joyride and then we'll be back next Monday for another episode of Don't Blame Me. Bye!

Bye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.

And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.