Don't Blame Me! - Creating Bigger Conversations

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

But Am I Wrong: Meghan: Social Media and becoming an influencer is not meant for straight cis men Melisa: The Charmin Bears But Are You Wrong: Parents are critical of Bachelor contestants "Rude" customers But Are They Wrong Laura Siegemund and Marijana Veljovic Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi you're really rocking out there what's my cock out sorry face it is huge it's it's a cumbersome cock don't worry everyone i took my meds melissa saw me have they kicked in no will they kick in yeah she says with confidence it will kick in we have faith in medicine medicine medicine welcome to another episode of but am i wrong starring two people megan and melissa who have not once ever been wrong so why not make a podcast sharing that wisdom and wealth with the masses and we did because we couldn't think of a reason why not to good job megan thank you i appreciate it so we've got three different segments on this show we will get into each of them before we hop

into them and explain in depth what they are what you can expect but one of the best parts about the show is the audience participation and you you are the audience you can be watching us on patreon or you could just be listening wherever you are listening but then we ask that you head on over to our instagram and you can vote on who you think was wrong in each of the situations in all of our segments on the instagram story so that is you know usually up these episodes come out thursday that's maybe a friday maybe saturday maybe sunday maybe monday but you know keep you on your toes follow us to make sure you are uh up to date and then we put them in a highlight so you don't miss any of them within those 24 hours and then you can also send us a message let us know how you

thought or felt while you voted the way you did any insight you might have and then we we will read those aloud and discuss and if you want to elevate the experience for this podcast you can watch us on patreon or you can listen using it's also through patreon but also through spotify sounds confusing but once you subscribe the link will be posted and you can just click away and also i want to give a shout out to some of our patrons i believe they've changed the name of it now they don't call them patrons anymore they call it audience all right we've got shout outs for autumn autumn fatima fatima and macy macy so thank you for joining thank you so much big fans of you all right so should we get into our first segment i think that sounds like a

rip-roaring good time our first segment is called but am i wrong and that's when we pick something from our own personal lives that we want to rant about talk about or we may be wrong in our about in our lives spoiler we're never wrong unless we're trying to kill beetles outside and survey said i was not wrong you can't fight with survey said in my eyes okay i'll let uh steve harvey know but in my eyes i say you're wrong and i feel like i have i'm like the supreme court it may be a little shady yeah but my word is fine sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not good all right you're up oh i have a hot take which i don't know how hot of a take it is for me but before we get into it i just want you to all know that i am a huge proponent of two things in

this world divorce and double standards okay and we're diving into my double standards i have a bold take and that bold take is social media and becoming an influencer that is not for straight cis men is not for you first of all you have war you have owning property before anyone else you have getting credit cards before anyone else uh you have promotions you have the corporate ladder you have billionaires you have oil russian oligarchs you have serial killers you have you you you have you have so much leave us the fuck alone leave us alone get out of here get out of here and this was um maybe not fully inspired but solidified for me um by roger clye i don't know roger on tiktok first of all roger go home roger this man is

this man gets on tiktok live and like sings taylor swift songs poorly and all the comments are people like oh my god you are so shut the fuck up that is a fully grown adult man stop talking about how adorable and cute he is that like suddenly we have this thing that like when men come on the internet and they're not andrew tate and they're like oh my god i would truly take a bullet for this guy i'm like you take a bullet for this guy because he's singing a taylor swift song like the bar is in hell like you're stop and then we're like we're like oh my god they're so amazing oh my god i love them like one of the good ones one of the good ones one of the good ones and then roger gets all fucking creepy with like a 19 18 year old one of his

followers who was like he like asked them to collab and then like came to her hotel room and like is doing a live stream with her and is like touching her lower back and her legs and then she's like i'm not interested in you like that and then he's going on his fucking tiktok and like losing his shit about like just going off on her and it originally started because he was like offering to give someone like he had like an extra taylor swift concert ticket or something and he used that to like try and get with a young fan who then was like oh this is so not what i thought was going on and it's like men at the end of the day are gonna men they're gonna men so like this whole like you saw this cute older guy on tape and you're like oh my god he's

so sweet he's trying to fuck and he's found a new fucking way i saw this and i didn't know where you were going with this but i did see about him because a lot of people thought that he was just this sweet man but like you said men are gonna men and then when she showed up with him people were asking if that was his daughter and he like i was like you don't even get the clue from that creep and it's just like men are going to men they're going to they're going to try and infiltrate our spaces they're gonna do this shit and what we don't need to do is to be like oh let's hoist up the men who are doing it right and doing it well these are anonymous people you do not know these people you do not know them you do not know them stranger danger so like stop giving them this like

amazing plot you're handing them a platform for them to disappoint you matt rice like it is truly stop like just fucking stop and there are so many people who like yeah make money online do social media do all of this kind of stuff but like i think about this like when yahoo bought tumblr it was like someone is coming in to our safe space and they're about to rock our world they're taking they're taking the sex gifts off here taking the porn off here they are g-rating all of this and the same thing we're watching these men go oh we've made fun of you know we've made fun of we're watching these like cishet men look on here we're making we've made fun of women and effeminate people of all identities who are making content on social media for first fun then be

monetary gain and now that we see that we can make money off of it how can we take this predominantly female young female audience and make them into complete stands of us get out of here no no no no no no it's just stop just stop and the pedestal that people put these guys on it just aches me out grosses me out and we just end up here and while i think they should just not be making accounts we just need to stop supporting them and like just because like someone is like old and wrinkly does not mean they're like cute like your grandfather and like how old you know your grandfather like you know i mean like men are gonna men keep your guard up yeah i mean i talked about on see you next tuesday somebody's grandfather

that was harassing me just going to bat for these people and then like looking like a fucking fool when this shit happens and it's just like we all need to stop thinking that the solution to like all of this is like finding the good men to fix this without like and not doing it ourselves which is like a deeper conversation of this but like i just i have a big i have a strong feeling that like you know if you want to support content creators and things like that like support marginalized people support women like don't support like some like this like fucking like corporate like old man who is using his retirement hours like chilling after like cashing in his 401k to sing taylor swift songs to pander to a young audience like it's not cute it's creepy

and he's not even a good singer i didn't watch any of his videos i just saw i can't remember the content creator's name no but she does the mess that we saw on tiktok but i saw hers she finds every day top three messy clips on tiktok that she reports on wow oh britney valetta yes yeah yep it's just all right well my turn wonderful mine is very unserious but also serious and i just want to say that my comments that i'm about to make are not disparaging against sharman the brand i love you so much you're my favorite i have you i have you on auto order the red package is my favorite what i have issue with and it really shakes me to my core is the fucking sherman bears

why if you don't know the sherman bears are the cartoon spokes bears and in every commercial they're complaining about the cleaning cleanliness of their ass and wiping it i've been binging something that i have to binge and it isn't available without commercials which now in the midst of the strike i am like bring back commercials anyway i love a commercial break and the commercials are in at least two or three of the commercial breaks every episode and i do not need to hear them talking about cha-cha-cha shaman anymore i'm over it i do not need to hear about them cleaning their asses i don't like how in the different like i've noticed this now i'm sure everybody else has noticed but they change colors depending on what commercial

that they're in so if they're talking about the one in the blue package then they're blue bears and if you're talking about the one in the red package they're red bears but sometimes they're brown and i'm like is that when y'all are just talking about shit which gross and then they're also like they're the same bears but there's a commercial where the red father bear and the blue father bear were racing to a porta potty so like are they clones of each other because they have the names they're sister wives they like i just don't like how they're they have regular like meetings about the quality and texture and thickness of toilet paper and they feel like they have to schedule family meetings for this i also don't like why they're always dancing and

rubbing their faces on the toilet paper and then wiggling it around and then the camera is always zooming in on their butts sometimes they're 3d sometimes they're just flat drawings and their names we've got leonard what the molly leonard is the father molly is the mother and leonard and molly like those are two different different generations do they have a huge age gap and then the kids names are bill amy and dylan and i was like bill is his name is his name william no his name is bill and they call him billy as a nickname and like who's just named bill in this day and age we have liam will and at that young age maybe willie but like who what girl what child's bear is named bill maybe his first name is billiam no it's bill like that's his name it's bill and

they call him billy that's like leonard they sometimes call him lenny but like bill is just bill or billy no oh gosh also in the universe like when they went to the airport the other bears are wearing clothes so these bears are just walking around naked all the time the episode when they went to the episode they're basically episodes they're mini episodes that commercial where they went to the airport

the security guard was scanning Leonard's butt with the metal detector thing and I'm like what is in his butt that you need a metal detector for I mean apparently a lot because the toilet paper is very important to him like he's stuffing shit

metal in his butt he's transporting things across country lines um cocaine bears and then also like we do know that one of the kids does wear drawers because there's that one commercial where the mom and dad leonard and molly are like pointing at the drawers sitting on the floor where they're evidently think that there's skid marks around and they're like you pick it up no you pick it up and then one of the kids slides in and he picks it up and he goes i'll get it and then he's all like because my hiney's clean like why are you singing and shaking your butt after you've wiped your ass and your parents thought that there was shit in your underwear and you're

singing about your hiney being clean ma'am i have not seen a single one of these and like this is crazy like this is genuinely like this is someone who's a check-in on like with love are you like are they like just really afraid of bidets like this feels intense so they they don't like i said they don't wear clothes and they're so concerned about how clean their asses are but they're walking around naked as i said they have furniture in their home so is everybody carrying around a towel to sit on i have a lot of questions then there are all these fan theories about the universe yes read it of course one of them was that there was a worldwide outbreak of cholera and half their bear population died from diarrhea so that's why they're obsessed with cleaning their asses all

the time and then there's another one where another theory where they believe that they're not actually bears but they're furries and no i don't believe that one because that doesn't make sense for the other bears in universe to have on clothes and i think i think once we get to fan theories we've gone a little too far in and in conclusion while i don't find the ads unbearable i think it's time for us as a society to rally together and convince the greatest toilet paper in the world that it's time to move on find your new mr mrs or miss whipple and i know that most of you don't get that reference because this advertisement happened before i was even born but it was iconic and i get the reference and i need someone to bring back something more iconic

than these dirty ass bears ass being the operative word thank you well i loved that uh i think you should know that the only ads i receive are for i don't know why i don't receive any toilet paper ones i receive them for prep and then i receive ones for various medications only in spanish regardless of what i'm watching regardless of what app what platform it is truly only medic like pharmaceutical in spanish and birth control at like anything but the honda ones do you get the honda ones in spanish because i get those all the time he pays more attention than me they've got the the honda days of caring or whatever they call honda whatever the south the um south california whatever they do but i get those all in spanish yeah it and then i get

prep and that's like it those are the only ones i have to say as someone who recently was victim to single ply toilet paper from my one true love which made me start questioning everything and i was like i can't complain he does the grocery shopping he's going out and doing this like i'm not gonna say anything he bought sprouts generic single ply rough toilet paper like sandpaper and i have ibs i'm shitting like seven times a day like that's a lot of chafing that's a lot of abrasive on my anus and after a couple days he was like man this toilet paper fucking sucks and i was like i'm so glad you said something yeah because you use it twice as much as he does literally and back so yeah and i'm like i'm getting raw and not not in a pleasurable

way I'm getting raw no dog and to that like Charmin wonderful product yes and maybe what they need to do is start investing on like giving people single ply toilet paper and like how much it fucks up their life and then like coming in to save the day I like that idea because like I truly am a Charmin stan and so I love you but like these commercials have got to go see I don't even not much i agree with that though because everything you said was very funny i i love a he he ha ha on my marketing here we are i'm gonna i think you would actually like the hiney one and the bears little bear i think it might be bill one of them is dancing with his ass out talking about my height he's clean okay just do you think he's gonna hold on grab the wall wiggle like he's trying to make

his ass fall off yes that's actually how he is moving you know what they need they need to do a collaboration with one of those weird as fuck very literal rapping lyricists they need to do one of those where it's like this is not sexy but this does like if you told me wiggle like you're trying to make your ass fall off and you said you told me that if you don't get charmin that's what you're gonna have to do when you're in the bathroom i go take my dollars i'm sending my money on charmin if you say do you want to fuck the guy who's sang that song no but like if we're trying to sell toilet paper i do actually think that message works what we need is a collab who wrote that song i don't know crap but well all right well

let's take a break and when we get back we'll get into but are you wrong all right we're back from our break and it's time for but are you wrong and that's when y'all write in and share the predicaments that are going on in your life if you want to submit uh for but are you wrong you can send us an email 300 words or less to but am i wrong pot at gmail.com and explain the situation that you would like to get our verdict on if you are the hero or the villain. Hi, Meg and Melissa.

Today, my dad came home from work and told us that one of the recent bachelorettes came out as having a girlfriend. My mom's immediate reaction was to question whether she went on the show with ill intentions and only for fame. This made me immediately upset since she has never previously questioned

her or other bachelorettes' intentions. So it was weird that she all of a sudden started talking about this when someone came out as gay. I then said The Bachelorette could be bi, which explained why she was in fact interested in finding love with men on the show, or she simply didn't know she was only attracted to women until now, which is what she did actually say when she went on The View. My mom didn't seem content with those explanations and said she thinks most people quote unquote just know that they're gay, so she probably knew she wasn't actually interested in men there. I tried explaining compulsive heterosexuality to her, but that didn't get far with her. Eventually, the conversation seared towards my bisexuality and how they're uncomfortable with that idea since I told them about it while in a long-term relationship with a man.

This then led to an even bigger blow-up and them being upset for me making this conversation about anything other than people in general going on The Bachelorette for fame. Am I wrong for creating a bigger conversation about this? It just seemed odd to me that my mom's first reaction would be questioning The Bachelorette's intentions instead of being happy for her coming out. They say they are supportive of the LGBTQ plus community, but when actually confronted with things regarding it, they seem to really contradict themselves and are especially biphobic. I'm 22. She, her pronouns. Grr. You're not wrong at all.

No. your parents are bigots i would question like i'm a little curious about like do you watch the show with them because like the show is like very heteronormative and is this something that like you enjoy watching is this something that they watch like with you or like are your parents like into reality tv because like do they talk about this like other reality television show contestants like do they talk about them like they're not people because i think that that can't her your mom getting upset with you making this like a larger conversation like these are real people like it's always going to be a larger conversation like regardless of what the topic

is because you know some of the things you might be saying will ring true for other people who are involved or like real life circumstances and things like that so i think that's like a very weak argument on your mom's part and like I think yeah I think the whole thing is very biphobic there's like a lot of hatred that women have towards like other women and I mean this is about Gabby Windy from I didn't watch her season of it but I watched her on The View and like I've seen clips of her and like she's she's great she's wonderful she's funny but there's this like notion and idea that the ultimate goal for women and like the ultimate success is getting a man and like getting married and like having kids and having the prince charming and then if people do

not do it exactly how they want on reality tv when people watch it they get upset because they feel like they didn't they were robbed they should have gotten that chance someone else more deserving should have gotten this chance that you're supposed to be these like demure humble damsels in distress and like you've been given this opportunity and like that you have to conduct it in exactly like the right way which i think is fucking uh hilarious because if you want to talk about true intentions pure true love like turn off the fucking television like you cannot hold things that are supposed to be entertainment to the standard and expectation of like how you want people to conduct themselves in the real world get out of my head i was gonna say that

almost identical it's talking starting from when you said the ams yeah like it's just like it's absolutely crazy and like the way you talk about real people plot twist the real people in your life who relate to the shit you're talking about other people they will be offended by that and they have every right to be just the same way like i don't know is your like is your mom like a woman over 50 and you see a woman over 50 on tv and be like oh my god women over 50 she's just she's just chasing her youth like she's just like desperate like just and you go off on that and you're like and she's like that really hurts me and you're like it's not about you i'm talking about her and it's like we share that exact same thing like there is no difference between that

so i would say start doing that yeah you know i would point things out be like i wasn't talking to you that's just me being an instigator but your parents aren't thinking of like megan said real people as in it seems like they're making allowances to you because they love you but not to other people that they don't know which why because that's their actual feelings and i wonder how much those allowances are or for them they're cool with you being bi as long as you end up with a man and like that's like i also just find it really fucking funny when like people who are straight i'm straight come at something like as like a complete this is a matter of fact thing like no no gay people just know and it's like oh i didn't i'm so i'm so sorry mom i had no idea

that you were gay like when so you've just always known it's like well no i just know that gay people know and it's like well how do you know only gay people know that they so thank you for coming out does dad know like should we talk about that like it's truly like man what like if you want to talk shit talk shit watch tv shows with bad fucking people like that's fine gossiping and wanting to talk shit is a very healthy normal fucking thing so find people who are worthy to be talked shit about there are lots of fucking bad people in the world but being by dating a woman being a woman is not that is not grounds for talking shit tell her to listen to this podcast ethical shit talking gabby's also going on bethany frankl her podcast people were like oh no

girl they're like she doesn't know girl get out yeah yeah i mean like if it wasn't for tiktok i would still be pro bethany i was very much on bethany's side until tiktok came along and then i'm like oh this is a horrible bitch this is a horrible miserable bitch yeah this is this is this is the one who is unhappy i should have listened to amarosa a long time ago all right next one your turn right up my turn hey queens i am the only employee in a boutique in a small town and work alone my desk is tucked away in a corner and i do a lot of work there and hang out while people shop and look around i sell furniture as the princess of the furniture throne I appreciate you. I sell furniture and people love to walk through the store just to look,

get design inspiration, or to kill time. Less than half the people who come through actually buy, but I have conversations with customers closer to two-thirds of the time. I think a lot of people come in the store and worry that I will be a pushy salesperson. I actively try not to be that. I just want to seem approachable. The store has gotten a couple good reviews because of me and the way I treat people. As people leave the store, I try to thank them for coming in or wish them a good day. I think it's a nice thing to do regardless of whether or not we've spoken to each other. I've noticed a lot of people really don't bother to respond to this and it really bugs me. I think it's being rude. I've been in customer service since I was 13 and I've always thought it's nice

to thank people, even just for foot traffic through a small business. I make an effort to thank every store clerk in the shops I visit. It's important to show support to small businesses in any way possible. I'm not including people with social anxiety or who are neurodivergent and try to remind myself that may be the case every time I'm ignored. But am I wrong for being annoyed at being ignored? Do I just have a superiority complex? Joking, kind of. Would love to hear your insight. I do think it's rude when people don't speak or acknowledge as someone who worked in customer service for years. When I say for years, as someone who worked in customer service for like two months, quit a job, then go to another type job, work a couple months, quit.

But I was always on my A game and always speaking to people. And I think a small nod is fine. But I'm wondering, since you said you are working at your desk a lot of the time, if maybe you don't seem as approachable as you think you might be seeing if you're not like up near the entrance or exit or something in the store. And so they may think you're busy and they hear you, but it's not processing until they've like left because i could understand that i think maybe like if people are in the store then you just kind of stand acknowledge and you can stand away from them but just stand

alert so that they know that like if they need something you're there and then you know go back to your desk when somebody's not in and i just i just don't think a lot of people realize they're doing it i will say there are rude people in the world oh yeah but i think for the most part when you're doing customer service most people have just like common courtesy yeah I think like it's hard if you're not in people's eyeline like to know like you said like you just don't you don't know if they're going to be on the phone or they're typing an email and so like when you are not so engaged and like which I'm going to say like I prefer sales people who are like like like they're not like down your throat especially when it's like someplace like furniture like I'm gonna come

no one's buying this here today right now like you're just looking around like I prefer that kind of interaction but it's hard if you don't like establish it at the beginning of being like hey like welcome like let me know if you need anything like I'll just be sitting right here like feel free to look around like any questions like something like that where it establishes it otherwise if I walk in and like I see like I don't even know necessarily where you're where you are at you know I could think you could be on a work call and I'm like oh I don't want to like interrupt I don't want to like be too loud like all of that kind of stuff like that's difficult so I think I would account for 50 percent of the people not responding to being

like a social anxiety or like awkward kind of thing like I think it's more people than you than you think because it's about like reading the room and also you have to think like depending on where you're seated how someone's vision is if like they know that you're right there or where you are or anything like that and I fully agree with what you said where it's depending on when you say like have a nice day there are times where people and it doesn't I don't even hear it until the door is shut and then I'm like yes I open it again I'm like oh thank you and I'm like oh like it has to be enough for it to register in that sense but yeah I think you like rude and ill-intentioned people like that is what I always think I like to operate on the sense that like I'm I'm never going

to assume that that's what someone's doing like unless it's like blatantly obvious or I can like really sense it and feel it but a lot of the time like I know that I can be like misconstrued like the words that I can say like I can come across in a way that like is not how I intended or whatever it is so most of the time like I just assume people have good intentions or are having bad days or are on the phone or aren't like you know doing that and like I have to do that because you know when a social situation doesn't go your way that helps me feel better but then if i don't perform in a social situation how i wanted to then that also makes me feel better that i'm just like oh okay you know this is maybe it wasn't me like maybe it was something like that so

and also like how much are we usually like on autopilot when we're kind of in these situations where you're like somebody gives you something and you're like and they say thank you enjoy your meal and you say you too and that's not actually what you meant but like yeah and then things are just like awkward and you don't know how to fix it i would say the majority of people aren't being rude yeah i also think a lot of the time when people want to be rude they want you to know that they're being rude because like they're taking their bad day out on you and a miscommunication and something that's kind of like was that rude was that not rude if someone wants to ruin your day like they're gonna go out of their way to like make sure you know that they're gonna ruin

your fucking day and so in this kind of a thing like there is not really uh a solution because like i also like i don't think you should have to like be a pushy salesperson that you like don't even want to be without even like trying to sell things but like trying to like foster more of those conversations and relationships like i i it's it's hard and so like i think recognizing that it's if it's about you they will make it abundantly clear that it's about you like there is some bad bad fucking customers like how they treat and everyone like it just it's that exists and I think while knowing that that will happen however often it does having the things that feel like in a gray area if you can just do your best like paint them in like a

positive light so it doesn't feel like it's chipping away at you but also like you know maybe there's something like you change up where your desk is located in the store or you like put on some music that you really like or like when they walk in and you're like let me know if you need anything like i this is like i'm if you're like listening to music like i'm in a big i don't know sabrina carpenter phase but like if you want to throw something else on like let me know like you know like something like that that's disarming and not in a salesy kind of way because i am very much like an extrovert and I like like people in the right situations so if that's something that like you need to get through your day to like have interactions with like you know not just be like

by yourself quiet doing nothing then I think finding a way to do that that's like positive for you even if other people's responses aren't necessarily like totally on your vibe you know yeah all right time to take a break we've broken we've repaired we are back and now it's time for but are they wrong spoiler they are and so this is uh but are they wrong and that's when we pick somebody in the world who has been the wrong of the week rachel of the week absolute woat as megan liked to say hasn't said in a while but thought i'd bring it back and then we pitch and serve it up in a timely manner and speaking of

you like that bitch i loved that okay precursor your only thing what everyone because moz and i did not coordinate we both picked the same one but great now we get to talk about it ad nauseum i doubled up on mine though okay i picked two involved in the same thing well we're gonna not i'm gonna nominate laura sigmund and i'm along with that gonna nominate marihanna veljovic who's the umpire good fair i'm sure i got that wrong but she got a lot of things wrong so same vote she'll understand so the u.s open is currently happening and i just i gotta say there are times when i become patriotic and it's not for every sport by all means but when you give me women's tennis

i am i'm draping that flag across my shoulders and i am running like i am shikari richardson i am booking it i am fucking here i am proud of my country god bless america the land i call my home and this woman is a walking meme they're in their um tennis match and so i like got into the whole deep dive of this because i first saw the video of her serve which i was like tiktok play it to x speed so i can watch it at normal speed ma'am no that was the regular speed it was insulting and infuriating and coco goth you are stronger than me when i tell you i would have served that straight to the dome like i would have right between the eyes like she made me want to strangle her like there's nothing more

infuriating to me than watching someone purposely be slow to irritate you she is moving through everyone watch the video she is moving through the air like slow motion she jumped in slow motion i don't know how she did that focus on your training so then you don't have to sit while you're while you're waiting and you can stand up and follow all the rules and stop spending all that time learning how to jump it's all motion i truly don't understand this woman because i'm like what game are you playing and what and what but it didn't work like when you play mind games you have to play to win and she was not doing no it was mental or psychological warfare or physically she was not playing to win so like what what game were you in what match were you in and so coco was getting

so frustrated with this woman and she was taking so many so much time and just so that y'all know this is kind of like a fairly new rule that players have 25 seconds to start initiate their serve or play and the amount of time increased from 20 to 25 and now there's a clock so everyone can see and so she was letting the clock run out so many times and then marihana was just letting it go and coco was getting frustrated where it was like six times where it went over and marihana only called it one time then when coco serving laura is like oh my god i wasn't ready and it's like no no because the rule is you play by the server's time like yeah their speed their pace of play if they're a faster player then you play faster when it's their serve you're a slower player

they play to your pace slower when it's your serve yes but you have to do it within that 25 seconds and it's not at the end it's not like you 25 seconds then hit it it's like no you have to serve and complete your serve within 25 seconds not wait till 27 seconds and then start your serve which is again in slow motion and so Coco got like frustrated and went up to the umpire Mariana and was like telling her to she was calling her out or calling her in about the lack of penalties that Laura was getting and Coco said she's never ready when I'm serving she went over the clock like four times and you gave her a time violation once how is that fair then then there was also a time where laura was just sitting in her chair laura's doing a lot of sitting yeah well you're

not supposed to sit down and coco had to tell the umpire again like tell that brought to stand up and the crowd is completely on coco's side imagine god bless america imagine being called out in front of michelle obama like how embarrassing how embarrassing i would fake diarrhea i would pick i have to go home you think you should have been playing faster than yeah if you have diarrhea you should have been playing faster to get home someone was like driving like kind of like like tailgating a little recklessly yesterday and mods was like getting an no not actually a couple days ago and mods is getting annoyed and i go that man has diarrhea and he goes what do you mean and i i can just tell by the way he's driving and he like cut months off and kept driving months goes

he definitely has diarrhea i was like yeah he has to get home let him get home but yeah this was just like baffling to me and also like when they called when she was like you can't she can't be sitting down like laura like jumped up like oh we're talking about me my bad i'm like ma'am you've been around the block like you've done this before like why are you playing 15 years older than coco she's like she literally is giving this whole performance like being like all these youngins in the game and then keeps just like accusing Coco of playing fast like oh she's too fast of a player and it's like no you you are an incredibly slow player and you are stalling like she's literally like leaning into the ageism thing being like I am a frail

fragile old lady I could not be going any faster this these young sprightly things and it's like oh my god ma'am you're a professional tennis player like shut the fuck up I play faster and i can't breathe and i'm older than her ma'am you're no you can't play this whole like i'm older and like like you're a profession you're in the u.s open like and tennis is a game of stamina you can't sit no this is why i don't play tennis profession i mean recreationally or i i like sitting huh and then and then the press conference so after the match laura went and had her questioning like everybody does after she lost i should also clarify she lost the match she goes and has her little interview and she's sitting there crying the biggest crocodile tears that

i've ever seen saying they treated me like i was a bad person would i enjoy it more if i played a great shot and people scream and gave me the respect you deserve for your performance in that moment yes you would enjoy it more i'm 35 what do i play tennis for i made good money i'm not probably going to reach my best rankings anymore i play out there for the people for the effort what helen mirren will play this woman like what the fuck and she kept like ma'am yes performance it was a performance i watched we watched you perform and i'm watching you perform right now with your fake ass fucking tears and like literally being like why don't people like me maybe because you're because you're being a shit like you can be a a bad from first of all

you have to be a villain you are a good player you wouldn't have made it this far if you weren't good but like you can still perform and be entertaining without trying to manipulate the situation yeah play fair and if you want to be like if you can do whatever you want to do you can do your fucking tactics and all that first of all if you're gonna do your tactics win do them better but also like play fair you can play dirty and still play fair you're not toeing the line and you're not even doing a good job and that's the part that's most disrespectful to me i'm like if you're going to like cheat or whatever at least do do me the respect of like being very good at it and hiding it and like not playing dumb like play the mind game fucking well then yeah and this is

what really got me i think this is the first time i'm crying in a press conference i thought as a tennis player you are a performer you owe the people you owe the kids that watch you owe the people that buy tickets for a lot of money at the end of the day i go home and i look at myself and I can say I did a great job but did I get anything from the people for that? I didn't Helen Mirren is going to absolutely crush this performance

you are a performer you literally are a performer you might be in the wrong profession without a doubt because these are some Shondaland type monologues might I suggest an Olivia Pope spinoff

and we'll call it the bitch baby because that's exactly what she is Bitch, baby. I love it. And I think it's wonderful and amazing. And when I tell you, when I had to look up how old this woman was, I'm like, man, why are you talking

like you have two good years of your life left before you disintegrate into dust? Yes. She's like, I'm in my golden years. I'm like, man, literally, what the fuck are you talking about? And like of all of the sports too, like you're not a gymnast.

Like the age bracket for successful tennis players, like it is a very wide range. very young very successful science players but like you don't age out at 20 like that's like no a thing there's longevity in this sport man why are you talking to us like this is our first day on earth there's a reason why like you don't see like 60 year olds out hooping i know every week but you do see 60 year olds out playing tennis every fucking day like this isn't something where you're just like the greatest tennis player in the world is fucking 43 years old yeah i'm like ma'am i don't can't even imagine how coco felt because like i feel she insulted my intelligence

as a passive viewer of of tennis like i'm just like shut the fuck up and did you see that video of her leaving the in the in the hallway quarter yes i want to know what she said what did she say woman knows somebody needs to somebody with the money needs to pay that woman and we need to get the story i don't think you need to pay her i think she would be happy to share happy to share i think off the record i think she wants her job but i think but if you pay her enough she doesn't have to work ever again oh yeah no she'll she'll do a press conference we give her money serena's husband he has enough money to pay let's get olympia's dad up in here pay that woman pay that woman some money and find out what she said someone put someone all you don't

even need to pay that woman just get the security footage turn the volume up all you need to hear zoom in high res get those lip readers on there tell me yeah that one gal on tiktok that's always doing the lip reading she probably has already cracked the code i need to look it up i do need to look it up too i'm gonna tell you right now i saw someone commented saying she probably said that she won the match and i go no she said that's not what she said she said something yep it's probably german though so but the n word is still the same in german but we need to get a german lip reader on it so because there were two people and one of them turned like crazy fast and to me i was like accent accent i'm like or is this a you know because if it's like a delayed

couple second response of someone saying it's same but like with an accent you'd be like did you what but that might be i don't know maybe that woman's also german maybe that woman is married to someone who's german maybe that woman has eastern european ancestry has family members who have similar accents and she knew immediately she clocked it so fucking fast and that response to that that woman doesn't like she wasn't trying to appease anyone in that moment like that was a true honest reaction so i go so what else do we not hear how did we get she probably didn't even expect there to be a camera right there yeah because it was backstage essentially so well well well she's like i'm going through this door nobody will see me camera

it was like just like so embarrassing to watch if you're gonna be a bitch i think everybody has has the right to be a bitch like if you want to be a bitch like you are born on this earth you don't have to have anything happen to you to make you jaded and be a bitch like you're allowed to be a bitch for no reason or whatever you want but like you cannot be a bitch and then be shocked when someone says hey you're being a bitch like yeah own it that's fine like some of the best athletes are fucking villains and awful people like that's fine that's truly fine so so then do it but like don't act like you are in a retirement home you've been given 48 hours to go play the u.s open and you are on your active deathbed and you are the oldest person in the

entire world and guinness book of world records is there to crown you as the oldest person who's ever lived and ever lived in the entire world who also happens to play tennis like maybe she's trying to get like an ole anti-aging like sponsorship you still have to be positive to do that yeah what sponsor do you think she's gonna try and get like monster energy drink prager you white woman tears eau de parfum it's something in germany i don't know germans let us know you know who could also play her do you know her who's that lauren weedman she's in like a bunch of things she played my mom in my movie i like how you're picking people that are like significantly older because mom and grandmother because this woman is convinced that she's an old lady like

i'm waiting for her to get up there with a lawyer and say i'm so sorry my contestant this is elder abuse like listen i'm not kidding this woman literally is like banking on like the well americans are really worried about anti-aging so like i'm just gonna tell them that like I'm old and they'll feel bad for me and I'm like and you know she's German and white so maybe she's like really confused she like doesn't understand as much how people age and so she looks

at everyone else and she looks at Serena Williams she goes that's an 18 year old and it's like no ma'am we age differently like we do age no shut the fuck up what a performance you know what maybe Laura needs to end a pickleball

maybe that's her calling that's her speech well that's she's in the second age bracket 16 and above it's truly crazy like i'm waiting for her to pull like like a harvey weinstein and like show up with like the like a walker and it's just like what are you doing like people have google but yeah i also love when someone asks like coco nothing was easy about that match and then say what was just described what it was like to play it and coco just said slow slow yep i loved it

i loved it it was great love to see coco succeed all the cocos in our lives i was gonna say i love a coco all right don't forget to listen to fisting friday tomorrow and then our whole slate of shows that starts over on monday with don't blame me and then see you next tuesday and then we'll meet right back here on Thursday for But Am I Wrong? There's lore. You got to catch up on everybody. Mm-hmm.

All right. Well, we'll circle back. Goodbye. But Am I Wrong is a production by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa Demonts, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz.

And production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.