Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Banged Everyone At My Future Company

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Comparing your crush to your boyfriend Approaching your partner about seeing a therapist The 2 co-workers I hooked up with know about each other My friend hooked up with 2 of my friends Update: That's your man Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Call In - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

but welcome to a new episode of don't blame me don't blame me is a call in advice show or you can write in now or you can dm us maybe we'll have a form up that we post every wednesday and be like hey here's the link send us what you got think about a form for what where you can submit your advice what you need advice for oh like a google form we just post it with a link i like that idea we give advice as simple as should i invite these people to my wedding to as complex as should i drop out of this wedding because the bride peed on me it it's very wide it's a wide range and gal call call us i want to know what's going in on in your life it's probably very boring now but i want to know what's going on i hope it is me too me too

me too if you want to participate you can send us an email to meganpodcasts at gmail.com or call in at 310-694-0976 you can type that out to the email or we can also do voice memos of your different country because it is a google voice number but for all those things you have to be h or over or have your parents permission three minutes is the limit for voice memos and voicemails and 300 words is the limit for typing it out but you can also dm it to us on instagram at megan and melissa give us all the details everything that would be helpful to giving advice for someone who like is a i wouldn't say we're like totally unbiased third parties but we are the most unbiased that you will get but do you know what i mean like we're not we don't know we don't know everyone

involved in the story so we can give you advice that like maybe your friends wouldn't give you but at the same time you know you if you've listened for a while you know where we align on certain things like morally but unlike the everyday like things that are not that are more like personal problems not things that are like are representative of much bigger issues who knows do i surprise you sometimes i just like to make sure i make shit up lie put on a performance who's to say i love a performance all right should we get into the first one let's do it hey megan and melissa i'm being unfair to my boyfriend and i don't know how to stop i'm 32 female and he's 31 male let's call him garrett this is where my bias he's coming i don't

think i've met a garrett i liked so therefore i'm already on your side i don't know if there's a garrett that i know for real like i know fictional cares named garrett but i don't know real life garrett oh i don't know any of these people personally okay there was like a slew of like republicans on the bachelor named garrett and it was like if someone was on the bachelor named garrett i was like maybe it even is just one and i'm making it multiple people but like it also it's in my head that's how i associate the name okay okay and i apologize if i'm forgetting any garrets i do know personally who are lovely we've been together for eight months and he's great other than not knowing how to properly wash dishes we've been working on being better

he's kind a great listener treats me well and we're into a lot of the same things the issue is that i keep comparing him to my ex best friend let's call him caleb caleb and i were best friends for like six years and at some point i fell in love with him and when i told caleb he said he didn't return my feelings that's been over two years ago other than occasionally checking in or sending each other memes i haven't had a real conversation with caleb in over a year because i couldn't get over not being with him in a romantic sense now i'm with a great guy but i'm constantly comparing him to caleb garrett quite doesn't get my jokes like caleb or we don't like the same tv shows even though we align on just about anything else or garrett doesn't like to have a random

dance party in the middle of the day but will oblige if he sees me doing it how do i get caleb out of my head that's a good question you gotta fuck i think what it is is with caleb it's an idea of somebody you want to be with because you've never actually been with him and so you have this like want and desire to actually be with him but if you were actually in a relationship i don't think it would have lasted that long because it's just you've created who you want him to be in your head and you wanted that friendship to go beyond friendship. And that's just not something that he reciprocated. So you're always going to be stuck on that idea until you fully process that idea of who he was. I just kind of feel like when you're with somebody in a friendship

and you get along very well, and then that one thing that what you think is that one thing is missing is a romantic spark that's actually not the one thing that's missing yeah and it's because you're allowing yourself to fill in blanks for things that you want to happen but that's not actually it and if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings you're not going to be with him you're you just i think you got to come to that realization and you need to cut him off like completely so you stop thinking about him you can't send the memes you can't check in and you gotta uh like unfollow him on social media or you're just gonna have to live with if you're like i can't do that thing you're just gonna have to live with the fact that you've got this idea of

somebody that you can never be with and just have to move on with your life yeah or if you can't move on then don't then don't be with somebody someone i agree with all of that i think like the key components here are you were friends with him for four years before you developed feelings so you're comparing four years of history to eight months that's it's never going to be the same thing at all and as someone who has like my longest relationships have all been with my two longest relationships have been with people I was friends with first and so I feel like I can say that it is really it is really easy to date a friend or it is really fucking hard it's really fucking hard to break up it's really fucking hard if it doesn't work out because you

lose two things but if it does work out you don't have to you've already done all of the hard work you haven't you don't need to go through those awkward kind of date things or whatever like you already know each other so well like it kind of is a cheat sheet like get ahead aspect of it but that's why it's like so much riskier and there's so much more on the line so to me it makes total sense why I fully believe that people who are attracted to whatever sex whatever gender can be friends with each other and like have it just be friends but i understand the temptation when you do have romantic feelings for a friend and how much you would rather pursue that than meet someone and try and start it from scratch and that's what you're at now and i think it's like it's it's an

impossible thing to compare because in your mind you're comparing this to romantic feelings that you have for your current boyfriend and romantic feelings you had for caleb when you're not comparing romantic feelings you have for caleb you're comparing it to a four-year friendship you had with caleb before that and then two years of being in love with your friend so for me i think like you are not only mourning the loss of a relationship which even like melissa joe's beginning like you should sleep he's not into you but like you know there are times like i thought i was really into someone especially and that's the tricky part about friends where you especially think like i think this could work but like you hook up or you sleep together or whatever and

you're like oh my god no and I have done that not once like I think more than like that's a that's a whole other problem like there's all of this stuff there that like it does get confusing so I think like I agree that you are mourning what you think a relationship with him would have been like you have no idea that it would have been like that at all but you're also mourning the loss of a friendship and I would ask yourself like what's your friend's situation like what's that like do you have really close friends like do you have another like where is that level because you will never having a relationship just like a romantic partner eight months in it will never compare to losing like one of your best friends and someone who you also loved like view that as

two separate people one person can never make up that and it's like unfair to ask him to he won't be able to do that for you and so I understand like and here's the thing the little things that you're like, you know, he does all those great things, but like, you know, he doesn't like the same TV shows as me. You're allowed to want to be with someone who does like those things, the same things as you. You're allowed to be with someone where it's like, maybe you would compromise on other things that you don't have to be so aligned on or whatever. But I don't think you can accurately make that determination if that is important to you, if you don't have a friend who fulfills that as well. Yeah. And do you actually like this person that you're with,

they're just good on paper and they seem like they would have been a good person to help you get over the last person that you that you had a crush on like you can't expect this person to fulfill everything that your last friend did so let's like Megan said evaluate the other friendships you've got going on in your life also know that for some people that can't be your everything like yeah they can't be your best i think that for me i personally if i'm in a relationship with somebody i do want them to be my best friend but some people need a best friend separate from the person they're in a relationship with you got to figure out how you function and if this person that you're with right now can't be the best friend that you

want then this isn't the person that you actually want to be yeah and every best friend relationship is also different so the things that you view as like best friend things like you and caleb did them that might not necessarily be the kind of best friend relationship you will have with garrett you will have your own traditions you'll do your own things it's it can't be about sliding someone into someone else's place right all right uh let's take a break when we get back we'll get into Get your tickets now for The Dog Stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go!

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Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. we are back let's get into the next hi eminem i have a question about how to if you should approach asking a partner if they would be interested in seeing a therapist i 22 have been with my boyfriend 24 for three years we live together he is incredibly kind and makes me laugh often he is my safe place recently he's had family issues that i know are weighing heavily on him I work part-time remotely, so I am home alone a lot.

I begin my dream full-time job this month. Lately, he dismisses me when we disagree. Such dismissive behavior mimics the cause of his family issues, which center around one parent dismissing the other, not caring when if they are upset. I emphasize with his parents and my boyfriend, his siblings greatly. I was away for two months and returned 1.5 weeks ago on Thursday. He made plans for us with friends the entire following weekend, inviting them to an activity I had planned for us.

Then he worked all week. This Friday and Saturday, we spent with his friends. Saturday night, we were with his family for a late dinner, and then he gamed with friends. I asked if he joined me in bed several hours later. he replied that he would but I woke up alone at 4 a.m. On Sunday he asked to spend the following Saturday and all Valentine's Day weekend going away for his hobby. I've said I felt that was an inconsiderate ask since we hadn't had much quality time. He walked away. I was frustrated. 15 minutes later I went to explain more of why this upset me. He responded the conversation is over. I cried.

we continued our day no apology it frustrates me that he's so aware vocal of parental behavior but dismisses me proceeds to not care about my response reaction crying because i'm being dramatic does he want to be in a relationship yeah i fundamentally don't think it's appropriate to suggest someone going to individual therapy if a you are not in therapy yourself or it has to do with your relationship and in which you should be talking about couples therapy it is not effective to be like hey I need you to fix yourself in therapy for me that could that individual therapy is such a personal experience I think like it is appropriate for someone to say like hey I think this would greatly benefit you I've been really loving therapy but like it's a

gentle topic like it's it is nobody I guess maybe I don't know men are different never been one of those that like when someone suggests it it's it's never like oh gee golly I've never heard of that thing tell me more about what is this therapy like usually if someone is going through a lot and they are not going to therapy it's not because they've never thought about it it's because either they're like it could be a financial situation but it could just be they're like not emotionally ready to break down that they're not ready to like process that thing and you don't have to stay around and wait for someone to be ready for that. But you also can't force someone to be ready to do that. But I think in this instance, this is a relationship problem that I don't know that

I think most people would benefit from individual therapy at some points in everyone's life. This, I think, is couples therapy. This to me is not individual therapy whatsoever. That's what I assumed that they were talking about. But you're right. When I went back and right it didn't specify which one but it's easier for people to see what other people are doing wrong and don't realize how those have especially when it's a parental unit that that's what you've grown up around that now you've become the people that you're criticizing i would question why why is this a new thing or has this was there like a swing did something happen where everything changed or were you gone on your trip and then came back and realized that this is how he's been

treating you all along good point because if that's how he's been treating you all along and he didn't even realize that then it's not something that's new information for him but that doesn't excuse the way that he's been treating you and i would have it if you don't feel comfortable i think like the first step would before you even bring up the therapy situation is to ask him like hey you've been doing x y and z and i know he's saying you're being dramatic that is i can't stand that i can't stand when people i would too i would i can't stand when people try to minimize how you're feeling but in a as calmly as you can just just to see gauge his barometer on how things are saying hey um i've been noticing that x y and z has happened and it seems like you

don't want to spend individual time with me. You'd rather spend time with friends and have me tag along. Even when I planned something that was just meant for the two of us, you invited other people to come. When I go to bed, you don't want to come to bed for Valentine's Day weekend. You know, that's important to me. You're going to be doing something with your friend. Is there a reason why you don't want to spend time with me alone? Yeah, I not to be contrary. I don't know if is controversial i would like stop handling him with kid gloves because if i don't know how much of this is hit he's confiding in you of like hey this dynamic to my parents is really weighing on me versus you picking up on non-verbal cues of that and like seeing a shift in his mood and all

of that and you going you and his the parents who's dealing with this as well as like the other siblings you being able to clearly see who's the victim and who's the perpetrator in this dynamic i don't know if you filled in any of the blanks but like here's the thing unfortunately like and i'll make an assumption here could be wrong because believe me i understand that this works both ways but i think if you're relating to this i'm i would i'm assuming that it is his dad being dismissive of his mom and you're thinking that he does not agree with what his dad is doing that is a very logical assumption unfortunately it's not the case a lot of the time men see their fathers treating their partners whether it's their mom or stepmom or girlfriend whatever seeing them

poorly and it doesn't go doesn't make them go i would never treat a woman like that sometimes it does sometimes it says that's how that gives me permission that's what women deserve there is like this a lot of anger that uh men can hold towards women and it transports to the kids a lot like it just does happen so i think like i wouldn't fill in the blank so i don't know if he's like said these things explicitly, but even if he has, I would just stop handling him with kid gloves and be like, Hey, how are you treating me as like straight up unacceptable? Like, it feels like you don't want to hang out with me. You don't want to spend time with me. Like you're being super weird, calling me dramatic. Like that's just like rude and mean. And we gotta go to therapy or

like something else has changed the relationship. Cause like, I'm not happy. This isn't fun. I'm not having fun. I was gone for two months and this is what I come back to. Like, I think you, like if he is someone, especially cause you said like, how do I introduce the idea of therapy to him so i'm assuming that that's not something he's either gone to before or like you you think he might be resistant to that uh he might building animosity towards you for you you know being considerate of the fact that and accommodating for letting factoring in knowing what he's going through or has been going through with his family and his personal life into how he's treating you sometimes people that for that it's like well then why aren't you calling me out on it like

like i'm taking it out on you whatever but like whatever that is i don't think it matters why someone might be doing a certain type of behavior does not excuse that behavior and if you continue to handle someone with kid gloves you're gonna have to wait a really long time before anything gets done and you can't really set up boundaries there because then it's like well he's going through this this this and this i just think that like you have to prioritize yourself and your feelings and like how he's treating you is like i would be so mad like this is so straight up unacceptable to me that like this is like a deal breaker we're going to therapy or we're done like you have to care about me or we're done and I don't want to say

that in like a non-intimidating or like really sweet and like compassionate and like respectful and acknowledging what he's going through I don't want to do that because like that has nothing like you're treating me like this and this is the problem why you're doing that we can figure out in therapy but if you don't see how what you're doing is harming me if I'm like diluting my feelings and playing it down and really like centering you in how you're treating me how is that me asking you to treat me any better that's still me prioritizing you while asking you to consider my feelings i just think at a certain point like not all feelings all feelings are valid but whatever you do with those feelings i don't think it's always acceptable and this to

me is one of those things i agree all right next one i'm so ready to get into this this first sentence? Hook, line, and sinkered me. I'm Megan and Melissa. What would you say past that? Sinked? Sink? Hook, line, and sink me. Yeah, sink. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I am a 24-year-old, and I am a NEPO baby. Woohoo, baby! Join our Patreon with those dollars! Not in the glamorous sense, but I work for my mom's real estate company. Not because I want to, but because my mom will make me move out of her house if I don't keep a good job. Her house is awesome. I have my own wing to myself with a separate entrance and kitchen. So it's like I have my own apartment without paying rent and I'm pocketing everything from

real estate sales. The issue is I need to quit my job. You're an icon. I love you. I hooked up with almost every guy and a couple of girls that work here and is around my age. At first it was fun. I didn't think a lot about it because I'm not in the office most days. I'm either out with clients or networking. I would also call that networking or working from home. so it wasn't really an issue. But then I guess two of my former flanks became really close friends and they told each other about me and how they're pissed at me because there might have been some overlap. I think it will eventually get around that I've hooked up with a few other people and then get back to my mom. I need to quit immediately. But my only skill set is real estate and it's a

big no-no if I branched out and did my own thing or went to work for another company. How do I stop this from snowballing oh god what about amnesia i was gonna say the opposite what about just radical honesty mom that you've already done it hey how do you know your mom's a little slutty like your mom might be a little slutty like yeah but then you might find out that there's some overlap with by the way i'd watch that sitcom like a mother-daughter like kind of slutty real estate show i'm obsessed with that here's the thing like being like charismatic and flirty and all of that is and i don't mean like actual flirty you participated in actual flirty i mean like you know political flirty like in the sense of like getting that stuff that is crucial for being

a real estate agent there's a reason why selling sense that exists like you gotta be hot you gotta be sexy and fun and a little slutty and like so i think if your mom found out she might go you're so dedicated to this job like you're perfect at least you're not fucking the clients yeah but i do i just want to be consistent stop fucking people you work with you can you can like flirt but like don't actually fuck people and then also don't fuck them don't over like if you like i don't believe in overlapping because well it doesn't seem like you're committed to any of these people but i think if you're going to overlap take it i don't even need you to do a full zip code over i would prefer that but like at at least at least without like a if you're if your tile on

your phone is like on your keys i need you to not be within that radius like i need to be a little bit far well no because those are actually pretty far but like something along the lines of you get a notification on your phone your ipad has left the premises that's what i i need it to be far enough far enough that like there's three coffee shops that these people could go to there's not one that they obviously all go to yeah i don't think this is i don't mean to be horrible i don't know that i don't think this is that bad mostly because you didn't tell us how you treated these people and like if they thought you're exclusive and any of that stuff you kind of kept it big and bigger so i'm like well but they're mad so you did something what if they have um spouses

and children at home then that's and then it's happening at work in the back and you have another by the way if you're fucking in these homes i as someone who recently bought a house you know they're fucking in the houses no unless it's a new build in which case fine that shit is already so fucking sterile it's like fluorescent lighting looks like a hospital okay if you're if you're fucking in like a century home like leave those leave those don't bone in the old bones home there's so much buying that's already happened in the home yeah there's probably there's probably bones buried like the ones i found in my backyard god this is what i think you should do you should come clean to your mom say you're not gonna do it again and then start fucking the rivals

isn't that like a thing there's like rivalries within the real estate industry and you said you can't go work with them so why don't you go work out your frustration with them oh also are you friends with people who work at other real estate agencies because i'm gonna tell you right now not well i actually don't i know for a fact a couple people i know like they did hook up with other agents that they would work with like it was it was a little bit kind of like a restaurant scene like you it is a little incestuous like there was a lot of hooking up amongst agents around the same age and that stuff so i i don't i do like that they clarify the ones that are mine yeah fucking the one who's got that bent those bench ads who's like at this for 45 years so

many happy successful families but they might be fucking like a uh what's that hot asian lady that's on the the ones around here oh my god uh oh no don't no mott's will kill me we talk about her every day tracy oh yeah yep the way that we used to walk into open houses and go tracy and we need her assistance they because this one once broke his hand too was part of the process they knew when he got the cast on they were like what happened tracy doe that's what happened and he was like telling it when he got the cast off they're like my man finally got your cast off so happy for you like we knew we knew them all anytime we see like a real estate sign that's not for her i'm like tracy's got competition addicted to that woman but by the way the person

i'm thinking of who the person i know who like you know was hooking up in the real estate world the co-workers i realized now that the person she was hooking up with was also a real estate nepo baby and this like was his game like he did this like with a lot of people so i actually think that this might be kind of a part of being a real estate nepo baby do you know any of the other nepo babies in the area as i'm saying start a support group and be like who's who's good at who's good at it or maybe y'all just start fucking each other and then think of oh that's actually a good storyline like i could see that happening in a soap opera here's the issue right now though is every time i'm filtering this through and i'm like picturing

it tracy doe is there and so is phil dunphy and that was in my head too i need to stop yeah but phil isn't a nutboat baby we got it we got it we got to read he's the one who's 40 years in the business here's my here is my uh bar not bar bus stop ad yeah i think that like i think your mom will be ashamed of you if you pretend you're if you say that you're ashamed of this or whatever i think like taking this as like um you know here's the thing real estate is a self-starting career you have to you have to take a lot of initiative this shows initiative and then saying i don't want to do this anymore also shows initiative yeah treat this like a job interview how would you spin this to be like my worst quality i don't care too much i'm too good at

networking but networking within your own company i'm too good at team building team building team bonding yeah and team bony let's yeah let's i just i want you to focus your escapades with men and women outside the office yes i think that you should you use your prowls to take over the other territories from other real estate agents get enemy intel like that pillow talk turns into you knowing that this house is about to come up yeah off-market listings also what about conferences what if you say oh yeah mother dearest i'm very interested in some of these i'm really interested these real estate conferences i would like to go to pokipski because you sent me there and we get those dating apps on your phone yeah that by the way conferences people love

fucking at a conference they do they do i say that as someone who's been to by the way people might not understand this both vidcon playlist live considered conferences and those teenagers are fucking i mean what no i guess the con stands for convention but yeah but it's a conference for the business side too um trust me i know oh trust me i know I've been I I've seen some shit I've have too I've seen it from the business side you've seen it from the creators that's that's it Mott saw it from the business side and they would hear about it from the creator side so here's the thing I think you can you can keep your job and most importantly you can keep those sweet digs don't don't give up on your living situation this easy

That sounds like an amazing setup. You sound like this girl that I went to high school with and she had she literally had a wing of the home. And when they moved, it was like obviously still nice. But I was like, damn, I miss that wing. Yeah, I had like when I was growing up, I had a kitchen and I wasn't technically allowed to use the separate entrance. But there were times where we would sneak out. I wouldn't. Yeah, I would use it not like during the daytime. I'm like, I'm going to come home and go through the door.

But no, definitely sneaking out at night. Yeah. Yeah. I just think that you have too good of a thing going on. And as a nepo baby sleeping, first of all, everyone has the right to sleep around. As a nepo baby, the world might not be your playground, but this real estate company is your playground. And I don't think she would have expected anything less.

And once you take over the empire, you've got to stop this. you can't sleep with your with people that are beneath you so to say no you can sleep with people parallel to you again your enemies so go after the enemies start that pussy for good yeah you might have i know like a lot of times with the if it's a huge realist because some real estate companies there's like hundreds of people yep i don't know how many how big the company is and how many people you've gone through but go to a different company and text them don't quit your And maybe with when you start plowing your way through the other company, then word will get around that you've hooked up with a few of them and then it'll start internal fighting. And that sounds like a great thing.

You use you still information and you create tension within the company. Yeah. Think of yourself as your own story producer for a reality show that you happen to star in. That is also your life. But just remember. I think your mom would be more upset if you left and worked for an enemy than if you had been fraternizing with your own team. Yeah.

So get ahead of it. You, you stopped that snowball. And apologize to the people, like take initiative in the sense of like, like any good real estate agent would. Or don't actually apologize and just say, we weren't exclusive. Yeah. Like, I'm, I'm so sorry that you felt, no, that's so, I can't say even in this instance, I won't let you do that.

i'm so sorry that you felt betrayed no i'm so sorry that you were misled that was not my intention and knowing that i will make sure in the future that i i will not make that mistake again and thank you for sharing that with me yeah so i can be better you're a marketer that is your job is to market you need to market yourself and you're good at marketing yourself clearly so don't sell yourself short and think that now you have to like run away no these decisions stand by the decisions you made and then if you don't want to make them again you don't have to make them again but like if you run like tail between your legs and all that stuff i i think mommy would be like that's not a tracy doe in the making yep gotta look her up how's she doing i would like

you to join the patreon i do think it is your civic duty as an empo baby yeah and we'll accept you you have money like you have money to spare so you seem to be riddled with a wee bit of guilt so i will say i think you know repenting for that that that feeling of of shame giving back to the community and by community i mean our community we will welcome with open arms now i tell you right now everyone on patreon you don't have to ever reveal yourself for who you are you don't ever have to if you want to i'm going to tell you right now you're going to meet a group of people who are going to welcome you with open arms and probably ask for tips.

They'll love you for this, not in spite. All right, we're going to take a break. and we're back okay so my friend let's call her a had a bit of a dramatic friday night me and my friend are 23 year old grad students that went out and partied a little too hard we ran into some of my old friends from undergrad and things got weird a was talking to one guy b they ended up hooking up but he was a bad eater if you know what i mean i do then she rallied oh what a fucking champion and started hitting it off with another guy c in the group they talked all night held hands and groped each other she fell hard and got his number now she's

completely obsessed with c and c was into her too but then found out that she hooked up with a moments before and now he wants nothing to do with her even though he still really likes her i'm caught in the middle because she's yapping my ear off about him and he's torn with respecting his guy friend's feelings but also liking her what advice would you give both of them because neither of them truly knows what the other is feeling and they're both telling me i need to know the timeline and most i need to know the location where did where did they separate from before no i know that's what i'm saying as soon as i said that i said i'm so sorry where did they go for him to eat her out poorly this is what i think and then they come back and she goes not so good

and then she grabs c and says let's try this again i think they were at this is what i'm imagine they're in grad school it was probably a house party a and b disappeared into a room it went down poorly he's in the bathroom washing out his mouth she's walking out bumps into c and then they strike up a conversation that's that's what i would think happened and did you write this the day that this happened like are these men still mad do you know what i mean i don't know because this is my thing is that like especially this age and like friend groups when you have friend groups of people are regularly hooking up new people are coming in people are hooking up whatever that is like if you don't clearly establish that like we

don't do that we don't hook up with each other and or we only hook up with each other we don't invite new people who come in and hook up or whatever this i would be shocked if this hasn't happened before this is maybe just the time they've only ever had like confirmation that this person like hooked up with someone and then someone else but like i don't think that like does he we ran some old friends a was talking to one guy did she know him before because for him to be like in his feelings and upset and be like i don't want to betray my friend did you both meet her that night because that's fucking crazy that's what it read to me it started it with we had a dramatic friday night if these men are both still like that would really hurt me if he did that or

he's like i don't know if i could hurt him like that i think these men might might want to touch their penises together like i don't think that i don't like that to me is like a level of like you quite literally don't know this girl if you feel his immense betrayal i don't think it's about the girl i think it's about him i think it might be the timing but oh my god if you're gonna get someone out the first night you meet her and you're gonna be like i can't believe she would do that again like i think is that both guys both guys are into her they just met her obviously she has a magical vagina which one of these guys is hotter if they're both ugly this actually checks out a lot because she's like she might be like this is the most attractive girl who's i've ever

talked to she's so charismatic like if if your friend is leagues and above like no offense these guys but like your friend is awesome like leagues and above these guys yeah that actually makes a more sense that like they're crashing out over a one time i thought i was eating i thought i was eating her out on the first day for the rest of our lives if you are ugly and can't eat cat no that's that is detrimental to both you and those around you you need to be the best I need you to be the LeBron James of eating I don't need you to go to the gym I need you to pick up some books I need you to study I need you to buy some stone fruit and I need you to get to work yeah I think this is a wonderful problem for your friend a to have but like I will be so real

with you it you you have 72 hours before I'm like okay I don't want either of you now like you guys are fucking weird like this is just like you can't you cannot eat someone out the first time you meet them like 20 minutes in if you're going to get upset and like feelings over like oh my god they don't want to do that for the rest of our so she was talking to somebody like that's objectively crazy and your friend group needs to stop hooking up with people imagine he just went to the bathroom and thought he was coming back pun intended and she's just gone and then he walks out and sees her chatting it up with his best friend i'm is this the first time they've ever some guys are not comfortable they've never experienced getting with a baddie like

if a girl like if she's so hot and you can't hang yeah she's not gonna be like well i'm gonna be respectful of this man what his what's his name again who i met 20 minutes ago who i don't know know i should be considered what she also doesn't know that you didn't need someone you didn't need someone else out 25 minutes before she got there like you can't carry yourself i saw her and i was like that's the girl i want to be with this is why i can't stand posers and then i found out that my best friend had his tongue had his tongue all the way inside her vagina he doesn't even know what a clit is like i've tried to explain to him and like he's terrible but i just can't i can't i can't move forward knowing that he knows exactly what her pussy

tastes like no man no that's that's fucked that's messed up dude that's a hell of a mess Like, women try to act like, like, these females, like, they just don't respect us. They don't respect us. Like, I was having a good time with her, but, bro, she broke my heart. This is, I think, actually what you need to do, explicitly, because you said at the end, what advice do you give both of them? Because neither of them truly knows the other is feeling and what they're telling me. You need to be a girl's girl and you need to tell A, what these fucking weirdo boys are saying,

so she can go thank you so much for letting me know i will never be seeing them again these fucking losers that's what she needs you need to do for her and then you need to tell him you're really fucking weird you guys are being really fucking weird um should i put you two in a room together yes like and him saying like being like oh my god she just hooked up with him i have nothing to do with her and all that is it to me is a guy who has never had the opportunity to hook up with two girls in one night and like maybe I'm a whore but I'm like the only time I ever like and I didn't even feel bad the only time I was like oh okay sorry that was a miscommunication was I was like making out with this well okay we were doing more than making out he's like you know

fingering me we're like hooking up but we're not having sex you know whatever and then this guy other guy that I had been hooking up with he like shows up and he like was like what the hell is going on and I was like what and he was like you can't and he's like getting mad at the guy and being like we're together like to me and I was like I actually think this is on me because I didn't know that by the way it was weak and I said oh oh so I'm not opposed to that but we have never I'm so sorry I might have missed that conversation I'm so we can reevaluate that but like this is on him like I I didn't I didn't know that and like I mean I wasn't like feeling bad or being like oh my god I cheated I said like we truly never had that conversation that was never

even implied whatever and it was like afterwards i was like oh okay and then i was like we still never had the conversation so by the way never never worked in that instance but like i think like this being viewed as the ultimate sign of betrayal to me i'm like oh we actually have lived very different lives and like you cannot keep up like this is so so cringy to me and so fucking weird first of all you can't even eat pussy you're bad eating pussy and then like you're sad about it like afterwards like i mean if i was this girl i'd be like now i need c to eat me out to even see if he's good at it i wouldn't even watch at this point because i'm like he's picturing his best friend his friend being oh my gosh but how are we gonna play call of duty no like damn i'd

like i'm out but if your friend is bad at eating pussy then like i feel like that's something that you're both vetting yeah if you spend a lot of time together she got so wrapped up in in his personality which it might work in his benefit maybe he's such a great conversation list that she's like okay even if he's bad the first time i'll talk him through the second time but like this is just a funny situation to me it's so funny how like these are like i thought i was the chosen one like being so offense like you think that you were picked because this girl was like interested in you and then was like actually not so much it's like nobody was about me i was special she can't do it to other people like you this is all this is

telling me is that you have never had the opportunity to do this and you know you won't have the opportunity to do this and now you are sad and that's okay you can be sad but either one of you is bad at eating pussy and is sad which we already know and the other one are you going to join are you going to be bad at pussy by omission or association or association and then be sad or are you going to put your mouth your best tongue forward and get to work wipe those tears right with her snack it up right like this is when a boy becomes a man like what's your choice this much get down and eat out and prove to her that you're the man that she thinks you are and tell your friend i'm so sorry but like i'd already i've been chatting her up already

and sorry your riz isn't working the way mine i feel like this is like mark zuckerberg's origin story he didn't get that for no um but i'm also shocked because this also might just be like telling of me and like my friends i cannot think of a guy that i know to this day like went to college with went to high school with or whatever like i can think of one friend maybe where we have zero crossover with guys we fucked up with from like that from like high school to college era like i had so much fucking crying like even if it wasn't like needs like oh yeah i like this friend hooked up with so-and-so or whatever and even like best guy friends how do you think a lot of guys in college had their first threesome a lot of like even in my

friend a handful of them are gay now but um in college um which this might be actually actually i'm just saying actually you might be just something saying but i was gonna say a lot of us within the actual group were not hooking up but it would be like our friends on the perimeter that we were hooking up with it wasn't within the core group but my my thing here is that they didn't know about the other until it already went down no but you actually cannot like this person enough to be upset by this while you are sober 72 hours later that is that is flat out unacceptable to me like that i think that's why your friend needs to be the first call because if this was me as a fellow bad bitch i would go thank you so much for letting me know i actually don't know

who these men are anymore this actually never happened i was drunk it was a wild friday night that was true no one ever cares and no one ever talks about one of the real issues in the world which is hot girls infiltrating broader friend circles fucking hooking up with some of those guys and leaving a trail of sobbing and in the distance and going nobody warned me that i was walking up to a group of losers you have to tell me if i am if these men cannot handle this because i'm not trying to make your friendship and life circle harder i did assume the man that ate me out 20 minutes after meeting me could hang but now he's crying in the corner why did that happen why did that fucking happen at 23 this is actually this is even especially fucking crazy at 23

because i know this person's become an insufferable 28 year old who talks to someone in the club and then it was like why is she dancing with somebody else like you don't know her she couldn't even hear you over the music i wanted to buy her a drink you didn't buy her a drink you just thought about buying her a drink she this is crazy i'm like and i know i know these men are not hot enough for this at all what if they're so hot then they go to harvard and they're socially inept and i mean that in a derogatory way very hot men do not act like this no and it's and i mean hot in the sense of like looks but also like personal charisma like you have to have that type of charm to really be able to pull this off well and to take someone attractive from being someone you

see in like a magazine spread or on a billboard to like someone you're like i want to have sex with you like i'm attracted to you right now this is bill you're building this for me so you caller writer next time you go out with your friend bring your best eaters for it and if you don't know who they are you should have warned her before wait also it's seemingly you haven't hooked up with either of these guys and there's a reason why why'd you let her hook up with them yeah if if if i have a friend and they're like you should hook up with this guy and i'm like oh who's hooked up with him like nobody and i go so no what the fuck is wrong with him like why would you send me out to uncharted territory twice now they're crying this is why we don't go

into uncharted territory or were you off doing your own thing oh yeah you were keeping the good just for yourself and also by the way you can't choose to be the friend group who fucks at 23 years old i'm so sorry you've missed it you have to do it in high school you have to before your brains are even close to being fully developed you have to do it in a way where you are forced to see each other in school the next day like there are there's circumstances there it has to be when things are hot and cold and they're breaking and doing all of that it has to be like that and then by the way that group does not stay that way forever you grow out of it but maybe the the writer didn't they're not like in her since she ran into some old friends they're not actually

in her friend group and they're trying to pretend that they are friends who fuck and they are not friends who fuck yes and they found out and you know what maybe they're friends who should fuck each other okay fucking hilarious to me by the way shout out to you i loved this one thank you this was a roller coaster it's also getting my creative juices flowing i'm like a no draw draw draw baby all right we're gonna take a break all right we're back let's get into an update this is the caller who called in there have been a couple updates of this but the initially they had called in it's like they were hooking up with this guy i think they literally said friends with benefits and then they were like saying like

basically starting to say like i love you but it's like but we're not together we were like then that's your man like that is that is your boy you don't have to have a he thinks that you are his girlfriend wholeheartedly there this is not a you're not on the same page he's just waiting for you to get your head out of the clouds like he knows like this is that is your man so we had a mini update where she was calling in talking about uh being the third being the third and you know i i might have uh likened her to a certain zodiac sign's absolute dream of being the object of everybody's affection i think you'll you'll feel i feel vindicated with what the update is so here we go hi megan and melissa y'all asked for some more excitement for my dump from them

blame them on november 14 2024 titled my cousin is dating my ex not a great storyteller but i'll give it a go so essentially yes he was my man all along I see it looking back like when I told him I wanted a day trip and he surprised me with a hotel a month in he paid for everything that took me out all the time nice dinners bottles of wine at dinner concert tickets like five months in before I love you I love you he got his ice level tickets at a good hockey team's game etc etc so six months later I love you then once I finished college I went on a study abroad and then I stayed in the country for another two weeks. I was literally on the other side of the world for a month and a half. And this was right before we hit a year. The communication over that

time was great. We didn't fight. I lived my best life, like travel-wise, not hooking up. And I realized that I wanted him to be my official boyfriend. So I come back and I'm like, it's time. You got to ask me to be your girlfriend. We go to a nice dinner. He doesn't ask me. And I'm like, that was the perfect opportunity. So then he asked me the next morning in bed, not super romantic but I said yes he essentially was like sure I'll ask but I've been calling you my girlfriend for months all my friends call you my girlfriend like I thought we were already there and in my opinion you have to ask and also he hadn't been calling me his girlfriend to my face so then we had a year and a half and we're still long distance like two hours but then I'm like

falling in love with the city he's in and I know I wanted to move out of my hometown and I have my own friends in his city so I brought it up after a month of thinking about it and I'm like I want to move here. I know the smart option would be to live separate in the same city for a while, but I want to move in with you. And he was like, okay, great. I've wanted you to come move in with me, but I wasn't going to ask, wanted it to be your decision. So then he has to meet my dad before we move in. We just get dinner and it goes well. They're getting along. They meet a few other times. And my dad was like, yeah, I think he's great. He didn't like my ex and neither did my friends. So all of a sudden giving me the green light was very validating. I then meet his family

who were playing right away me and him both have moms with mental illnesses so he kind of was nervous about how his mom would be she really liked me and the rest of the family was super nice we move in no issues I really like coming home to him we have a new place and then we had a natural disaster in the area and we had to evacuate so we went to my parents for a week which was his first time meeting my mom and he was super great very sweet she immediately was like oh he's handsome He also met my best friend's family, who are more excited to meet him than my own. They love him, too. I'm going to his family's for Christmas and meeting his nephews, which is very exciting.

I'm not great with kids, so it'll be interesting. Also, I love that y'all said, with a Libra wishes they were. I am a Libra. Thanks. Wow. I would also love to hear how Christmas went. This is kind of like a really fun, sweet, just like little update to continue on with. He sounds great.

like he sounds like very lovely and meeting you where you're at and i will say as someone who i the first time i heard mods before we were engaged through the wall when he was working from home referred to me as his wife on a work meeting and i was like in the other room i went whose wife and i literally walked up to the door put my ear on the door and i hear him talking about me and i go me why i'm and he came out i said why'd you call me your wife and he goes oh i do that all the time everyone thinks we're married and i was like we're not engaged sir and he goes like you know sounds like yeah he's like yeah he's such a fucking coward he goes like what same thing and i'm like quite literally no we're not even engaged he goes if we're

basically engaged just won't let me tell you what day i'm gonna do it and i'm like yeah okay and he's like no it's just kind of illusory to like yeah we've been together for this many i don't know we're you're my wife and he to this day now he wears a ring which i love that's great he wanted to start his new job he goes i'm not wearing the fucking ring this i'm doing that i said he's got an engagement ring i said make sure you tell people it's an engagement ring that we're not married because you can't spring this on your fucking boss your co-workers being like when we do hey taking the honeymoon or getting married and they're like i thought you already were married i overheard him the other day i go you're gonna have to explain to these people that you lied

about being married and he's like we'll figure it out and i think he's literally gonna tell them we're renewing our vows or just like y'all are you know we're having we're actually having a host moon we're just having a like whatever i'm like oh my god you're so like just so pragmatic i love that for men though that like makes them look bad like more professional and for women it's like no right be single don't be tied down i remember anytime when i was single like every meeting with like whether it's like agents producers cast whatever they're like you're single oh my god that's crazy like there's no way and then i was like oh like no i'm dating like oh but no you don't want to date and i'm like so you don't want me to be single but you also don't

want you to don't want me to be with someone i literally had a i was doing an internship and i had a producer tell me he was disgusting and yeah he did sexually harass me yeah but he told me he was like you always want to appear fuckable like never tell anybody your relationship stat relationship status people always want to talk about like the dark side of hollywood it's all these like underground pedophilia rings no it is it's that it is like it is people in power men and women of all ages and he told me he was like you know some of the women are the worst and i was like jesus christ yeah of all ages telling you that you need to be available not too available sexy alluring but it not in a not actually tied down by any means yep and people say the first

time they fucking meet you yep and men will also hug you in meetings the first time you meet which i think is and then say something like that which is what do you mean you're gonna bring up if i'm asking if i'm single while i see a wedding ring you've talked about your children after i just hugged you and you squeeze my tits close to you yep i'm like a big brother like we just met this is fucking weird all right thank you so much for calling for writing in we greatly appreciate it um you can you know still participate you're like hey i heard something there that really triggered something in my brain i have some advice for this person or i forgot i did that when i was 20 yeah you can write in and give your own advice in our segment called don't blame them

we had someone give us paragraphs of advice we'll read it next episode so you can write in you have your own predicaments call us write us page us and maybe there's a form out by now do that call us beep us if you want to reach us if you want to page us that's what we don't going for have a pager i'm also not that familiar what a pager is a pager was a device where you could it's like just notifications it was like this person called you so it would just show up as the person's phone number and then you would go call them back can you leave a voicemail no because it's not anything to listen to it was just a little device so would it say so and so left a voicemail like you could then go and say no they literally just it would just show up as their number and then you would

go call them back only a missed call what if they were actively calling they're you can't it's not it's not you can't think of it as a way of a phone oh you call a pager you don't call a phone and it notifies your page yes here here i am i'm in the world of bluetooth i'm assuming i'm assuming it's connected no no no okay well my new deep dive i'm gonna do while you take your workout is who invented pagers and where are they now or their legacies some hospitals are still using a version of them doctors were the biggest people that were carrying around pagers and doctors and drug dealers oh my god al gross i'm so sorry i slandered the pager because you made one of my favorite inventions the walkie talkie now for most people it will be the cordless phone

but you are an inventor i love that al gerson invented the cordless phone as well it says he was a pioneer in mobile wireless communication he created and patented many communication devices specifically in relation to early versions the walkie-talkie citizen band radio the telephone pager and the cordless telephone whoa what an engineer from toronto what an innovator yeah oh my god i'm addicted to this man's story so he is born in toronto in 1918 son of romanian jewish immigrants he grew up and then then they moved to cleveland ohio and his lifelong enthusiasm for radio was sparked at age nine when traveling on lake erie by a steamboat while sneaking around the boat he ended up in the radio transmissions room the ship operator

let him listen in on transmissions later gross turned the basement of his house into a radio station built from scavenged junkyard parts he earned his amateur radio license and he used call sign w8 pal his old wife i don't know but i fucking love walkie talkies oh my god and he also built things for the cia during world war ii where's this man's where's this movie this is oscar bade if i've ever heard it instead jesus christ um but back in the 90s mountain dew had a thing where you could save up the box tops of like Mountain Dew or even the caps of Mountain Dews and send them in and then get a pager and I did that what do you use for your like who do like friends or is it I mean eight so before you had a phone yes so like so you would do it by call

my home phone yeah but like who would be using it that's the thing is like if I'm at home you're gonna call me because i'm at school so then i can't call back did you use the patient no i didn't use it it was more the fact that i achieved a goal no i didn't even know i thought those things were like not real when i heard about like you can mail things in and get this thing in return i'm like unless it's the toy in the crackerjack box i don't believe that that's actually gonna happen yeah it happened wow it's like you it's that version of winning the danimals giveaway damn that's impressive i want it maybe maybe i'll see if any of those are still available i myself some boxes of tricks or whatever see if i can feel something again by collecting those

things to complete oh wow all right well uh we will see you tomorrow for fisting friday monday for but am i wrong tuesday for see you next tuesday wednesday catch up and all on old episodes or re-listen to something. And then we'll be back here on Thursday for Don't Blame Me. And also, last thing, Al Gross is just laughing in his gravestone because in the 1950s,

he tried to get people interested in cell phones, mobile devices. They weren't interested. What an innovator. Invent something today, even if it's just a backstory of your own life. All right. Goodbye.

Bye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.