Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Boundaries With Mom

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: How to tell people you're eloping Setting boundaries Don't Blame Them: Sharing trauma with a new therapist Update: Not changing your mind about eloping. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Listen to Meiisa’s New Show https://apps.apple.com/in/app/pocket-fm-audio-series/id1538433480?mt=8 Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Write in for BAIW - [e-mail] DBM Submission Form BAIW Submission Form Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more. Scotiabank. You're richer than you think. Hi. Hello, Megan.

How are you? I'm good. How are you? i'm wonderful i love that you're wonderful well i love to lie welcome to a new episode of don't blame me a show where you ask us you call in your writing you fill out a form where you're seeking advice on a situation and what do we do we give you amazing life-changing advice we help you out like like the good people that we are

the selfless people that we are can you actually wink as if you couldn't get any fucking cooler join our patreon that's such a struggle that's the best I can do that was fine

I have to move my nose my mouth like everything think about blinking but just do it with one eye if i do that then i raise the other eyebrow blink just keep blinking slow and then just do one eye join our patreon you can watch the video version see how much i am just absolutely killing it there are some things that i cannot do i cannot like physiologically i cannot twerk i cannot wink and i cannot jump i don't know twerking is really physiological as as opposed to physical oh sorry what's physiological mean it's isn't about your

make like your body what does it mean yeah you were on you were on it keep going but i've seen people with no ass twerk for me i think it's a lower back issue that's the thing that's a physical thing physiology is like the makeup of your body so you had started to say it so with people with no ass can do it because they can physically do it oh you're right you're right you're right yeah i have that my problem my problem is out of the physical and the same thing like i have long legs for some reason i cannot use them to jump high you know i you could train them too sure melvin did try for like a long while and like was he was like confund like he was so confused and could not figure out how to get me to be able to jump you gotta get get on the track with me

yeah or throw me on a trampoline that's my issue like i think maybe i just want to strengthen unless you're using a small trampoline a big trampoline isn't going to strengthen your legs enough i was gonna say i wonder if my just like loving to be on a trampoline then i was like well if i can't jump this high on the ground my body was like no save that for save that for the tramp put it all on the tram it can't be like my new sorority sister gabby thomas oh she did she just join congratulations to her i've been making fun of her like for fun like out of love she has a um like burner page where she's trying to learn how to dance and so be specific about what what how did it start there's been a couple she's tried to dougie she's tried to i forgot what the other one

was but you know i would lightly make fun of her and then she would comment like banter back and forth so we had a back and forth going and then i responded to an old one now welcome to the sisterhood she hasn't said anything but i did it wait so she responded to your prior yeah like we would go back and forth on like like for instance on one of them i has said like how are you going backwards in learning to dougie and then on the next one she was doing better and i said oh i take back what i said on the other one and then she like responded to that one like good thank you i love it i have to say though like of all the things to learn how to do the dougie is not a bad one because like i didn't know until tiktok that like some people have

different interpretations of what a dougie is and it's all the same base move it's just the flavor that you add to it yeah and um and you know i i might still love when uh i guess maybe gabby's love gabby's love doug gabby's love to dougie yeah some people said it's still not as bad as the other gabby's that the other gabby i think the other gabby i think she faced a lot of a lot of scrutiny very early on because it was on she was learning other gabby was learning how to dougie on main and that was like you it was a you being subjected to a lot of that it was literally learning how to dougie on nbc yeah while the dougie was like an actual like it was still in its heyday not post everything yeah there's a lot of eyes not post douglas yeah we were early we were

early we were it was we were in the doug era but why that woman asked her to do it i still don't know it felt racially motivated to me that's i'm like did i is there an insight is there like something that i missed to start like was this like a team i was like maybe because her last name is douglas oh or maybe just because it was like the big dance at the time but why would you just ask somebody that though no like if they were especially a black girl no i know what i mean but i'm saying were the girls doing it oh no one was doing it it was a post interview after she had finished an event she was by herself no one else was around no and they made her and they made her dougie and her fucking leotard and and she wasn't it wasn't it wasn't even dougie so i

won't even say that that's what she was doing she tried and it's crazy that we literally just watch someone fly through the air stick it land it flip it bop it twist it pull it and then you're gonna have the audacity to ask them to do something that within two seconds you could tell from the setup you could tell this isn't gonna go well because i doubt that woman even even knew what it was no she was probably like yeah i love it good job anyways check out the video everybody learn to dougie today after you listen to our podcast and i say all that you could do it while while you're listening i say all that as someone who also also cannot do it no there's something like a it's something i've hit it one time yeah like i felt it like i was like oh i got it and

then after that it never never again for some reason it's why i was answered that like it shouldn't be fucking hard but it is like patting your head and like rubbing your stomach at the same which i can perfectly do yeah but i don't know why you know neurologists should study what why does the dougie can confuse our brains so much and that's actually to be fair that's why they have a whole song about teach me how to dougie because it's not just innate you have but it wasn't the song itself was about the inception of dougie the dougie didn't exist exist before the dougie existed because of it they knew it was complex enough that they couldn't just release a song about the dougie without being like we have to give we have to give the kids

an instructional step-by-step of how to dougie anyways welcome we're gonna give you advice if you want to call in leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and you can also fill out the form we have listed in our social you can send us a regular email you can send us a dm for all of them if you're 18 or over and we do ask that you include all relevant information you tell us exactly how old you are but it is anonymous so you can let us know your pronouns if you would like if you want to create fake names go for it do it but we need as much information as possible to give you the best advice that we can so your age is important think about numbers numbers are

important so relationship how long you've been together if what that person's relationship is to you best friend a lover and if you feel like it's deeply relevant you don't tell us how hot they are or what they look like or how attractive they are why they get away with what they do because they're they're a hot little villain tell us who would play them in a movie because if you tell me that this hot villain is very kyogen i would say no no look at you look at me what i'm just saying that we're talking to that person oh yeah i was actually quoting renee rap oh during her vogue vogue interview she or lie detector test the lady had asked her something about was she sad when they broke up and renee just went

look at her yeah being like she'll be fine she'll be fine him i don't know if he'll ever recover from this she says something about men too but who cares exactly which is essentially what she said mm-hmm okay shall we change some lives let's do it megan if i was next to you i'd hold your hand as we walk into this journey together you didn't like that no i didn't i didn't filled vaguely coldly i'm like not the kind i would want to join it sounds like a cult where you don't make my hair you know and i have to wear like long skirts you can't cut it but i'll cut it for you yeah no i don't like that either i don't like that either

all right first one hi megan and melissa all right it actually says hi eminem i need your advice on how to best behave in this situation my partner 27 he him and i 28 she her one year ago decided we like to get married in september 2026 and since he's now officially proposed with a ring we're close to booking a venue we've started telling people close to us there are a few friends of mine or more like people whom I used to be close friends with, but due to life and distance have grown apart from over the years who have been texting me today because it's my birthday and I've been wondering if I should tell them I'm engaged, even though I'm not sure if I will be inviting them to my wedding. It feels kind of weird not telling them, but is it rude if I

tell them and then don't invite them? Doing a public social media post could sort of solve this issue but it doesn't feel right for us also because i'm applying for a j1 visa in the u.s for my job and my social media has to be public due to the latest rules and it just feels icky to me what is the best thing to do in this situation thank you for any advice you can give i did not know that was a thing no when did you get engaged because i'll be real with you i think it's a little bit weirder if you like your birthday is you sent this in july so your birthday uh is in july if you got engaged in like may i don't think if they're the people you like initially notified then i don't think that you should tell them now where it's like oh my

birthday speaking of another thing about me i am also like you just don't need to do it i just don't think there needs to be any sort of announcement no if you're not someone to put it on socials right if they weren't someone that was wasn't in your initial hey we're engaged then it doesn't matter at this point and especially if you're like not really sure you're even going to invite them to the wedding like it is weird like that would be weird if they ask like oh how's so and so like if someone who didn't have social media asked me like my psychiatrist she probably has social media she doesn't follow me you know she shouldn't exactly and she like had asked me before like oh how's mots like and i was like how's your partner i was like oh you're good we

like got engaged i'm like oh exciting that's great like that's like a level of like if someone asks you how to talk to her um this is no no this was this was after we got engaged i'm saying like that was like what probably months after we got engaged you just talked to her no i the confusion's fair because i did just talk to her but like not about this okay i was gonna say beg it it's been years this actually is weird that no i'd be concerned about her eyes because she could see a ring on my finger the whole time so i think that like if it's some someone asks or like a family member or you know you run into somebody you haven't seen it's like oh how's so and so like oh how's your are you so with that you would say oh yeah we actually got engaged but bringing it up without

someone else like asking about your partner or your relationship I think in general like if someone's like oh like is anything like what's new with you and if getting engaged like if that's like a big deal for for you you can bring it up but like I I will say like I have never been well actually to be fair I to circle it back I maybe I am a little confused you you have friends who are close enough to text you on your birthday who you don't know you're engaged and or you wouldn't share if you're inviting them to uh the a wedding like if i mean i have people that like i've been friends with in the past that we're not particularly close right now but like i know it's their birthday and i'll text them and tell them happy birthday but they don't know what is going

on in my life from day to day. Yeah, I think it's those friends, those just like pop in friends that don't know that you're engaged because they don't know the day to day. Yeah. Like, do you know that those people, if those people are engaged, have you been invited to their weddings? Because like, I do think if you've been invited to one of those people's weddings, like and it was like somewhat recent in the last couple of years, I do think like, you know, if you don't tell them, some people might have some people who might not get invited to a wedding and not find out that you got engaged that might change how they feel about a friendship and then that has to be fine with you that's what I'm saying like that is like fine with that but if it's worrying about like oh

should I feel awkward should I tell all of that if you are concerned about how it comes across to people the biggest thing that if it's going to be bad it's going to be that you didn't invite them to your wedding so like if that's already you're like yeah I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do that I don't think anything else of the in-between of like telling them we got engaged or like bringing it up or whatever like if they're going to be offended that they you didn't tell them that you got engaged they're really going to be offended you didn't invite them to their to your wedding so like to me i'm like those are not opinions to worry about point blank because you're already like we're not close enough for you to come to my wedding so why do we care if

they feel offended x y and z because ultimately the biggest thing they'll be offended by is not getting invited to the wedding which doesn't matter because you're not that close why do we care is the perfect way to put this why do you care writer why do you care if they're not close enough for any of this if they don't know especially you've been engaged for two months why do we care and i can't stress enough that it would be very weird on your birthday that's also just to like unprompted i'm also engaged unless they're like hey how are you what's new exactly but you don't just offer up the information because they haven't asked and you don't have it on social media so i think we're reading a little too much into it all right we're gonna

take a break when we get back we'll get into the next one and we're back hi should we get into the next we shall okay hi megan and melissa i've oh this person is 29 is she her hi megan and melissa i've been listening since the beginning and love everything you girls do thanks for being the woke sisters i needed for the last however many years are we reclaiming the term woke no okay because i will say i do get a little like it's like snowflake i'm like oh i don't even care about snowflake well i have to i've reclaimed snowflake because i love the winter and i love snow and all of its flakes and forms i never liked woke to begin with so because it got the alternative is wild what happened was woke was a term used

among the black community and then like many things that happen in the black community it got stolen and even when it was used by liberals it still did not have the original meaning then right wing co-opted it and so then it was our it's just been downhill so yeah anyways go ahead anyways you didn't mean it like that person no i know you didn't but yeah i was just curious if because i haven't heard it come from like a comrade in a very long time uh the sisters i needed for the last however many years my question revolves around my mom she's always been one of my best friends we butt heads sometimes but generally we get along really well when i turned 18 and went to college two hours away i never moved back home i stayed where

i went to school and i love it here i'm married and i've built my whole life here my mom recently went through a big life change and decided to move closer to me she now lives about eight minutes down the road. I'm wondering if you have any advice on how I can keep our relationship good and healthy with this new close proximity. I've never lived in the same town as my mom since becoming an adult. I'm thrilled to have her here, and I think it'll be a really good change for her, but I'm worried if I don't set boundaries, it might become too much. I guess I don't even know what the boundaries I need to set are. We generally talk on the phone most days, and now that she's here, I've been trying to help her run errands or invite her to dinner if we can. It's just an

adjustment since she's never been this close in my adult life. If any other listeners have gone through a similar change i'd love to hear advice there too you are in fact talking to two people who left home and um have not gone back yeah and also there were things that could have made my life financially easier if i had allowed my parents to do them but i didn't because i didn't want to end up in this situation well to be fair you have you can use your boundaries you've set very clear like you have like set very clear boundaries but so have my sisters and it has not helped them who live 15 minutes from my mom yeah but you're close to your family i'm close to my family but it's easier to be close when you're not physically there and i think if i was physically

there then we would have issues i can't i can put this in the situation from when i was in college okay okay let's let's rewind so when i was in college i i did live like 15 minutes from where like my college was 15 minutes from where my parents lived also my mom worked at the school so she thought that we were gonna be like having lunches together having dinner together her just showing up to my dorm and i had to put my foot down and say no that's not gonna happen Like, this is supposed to be my college experience. I don't want you around all the time. Also, even when I moved off campus,

initially she thought she was just going to be stopping by. No. No. Sometimes I'd pretend I wasn't even at home and she'd be knocking on the door. Lights off. Slip her down from the couch on the floor. Or the lights on.

And I just hear her knocking. I don't give a fuck. My car's out front. I don't give a fuck. And I think that you just have to just say, these are the boundaries. You can't do this. Blah, blah, blah. Does she still stop at my sister's homes now? Yes. Does she get mad when they won't let them in? Yes. Or won't let her in? Yes. But guess what? They still put their foot down and she's not coming inside.

So you just have to say, these are the boundaries. I don't want you over here all the time. And let it be. And sometimes her feelings will get hurt. But you also have to realize, like if you need something you can't just drop by there either and expect her to be at home so you just have to put the put your foot down yeah i i agree i don't think you mentioned anything about having kids because i was gonna say i think that like setting strong boundaries is good but just remember like you know if you need last minute child care if you have kids like that also there is a something that my sister will do too yeah there's a return on the boundary there and i think it's going to be confusing because like as like a kid and a teenager your parents have no

boundaries with you you have a lot of no you have no your parents have no boundaries with you you can you will try and have boundaries with your parents like it's like they are there to take care of you to serve you like that's what it's about but when you are an adult and if you decide to set those boundaries they get to do it also like and you know if it's like oh well you know they love their grandkid whatever it is like there's just an aspect of that there i think and i have zero personal experience with this so like really take whatever i say with a grain of salt but i do think in general it's easier to set boundaries from the start than to misrepresent how a relationship is going to go and then pull back from it it makes people feel like you know

they're getting the rug pulled out from underneath them and i know it can be like well you know i if she doesn't know anybody in this area yet i want to like help her get settled and do all of that in general if you set that expectation that's kind of what people think that's going to happen moving forward and it doesn't really help that person settle into that new place because they're just their association of this place is still just you not their life they're individually making their own friends making their own relationships and all of that so i think however you want the relationship to go in five years is how you should also start it now in the early stages of moving versus you know you can help her you know move in do like all those kinds

of things but if you're like i don't want to have dinner ideally i want to have dinner once a month but like let's go from once a week and then like taper down to once a month start with once a month yeah or start with once a week but i i'm also a believer in like you didn't make your mom move to where you are if that was a right choice for her you're allowed to factor into it but she can't put that responsibility on you but if you encourage her to move then totally but then i think like you have to be honest with yourself and with her because sometimes like it feels like oh they made this choice but like I don't don't feel like I had a heavy hand in it but then it's like you know if you ask the parent like would you have moved here if I didn't live here it's like no it's like

oh okay so then I do now kind of feel like maybe that was a little bit the convenience of having my like having your parent close to you there without recognizing that like that there's a sacrifice that they might be making for that but it sounds like I in general I think when you want to maintain a good relationship that wanting to do that is kind of half the work like and being conscious about that that you don't ever really like accidentally like totally screw someone over because you're when you're conscious about the feelings and not fucking the relationship up so I think that as long as you're conscious of it which you are I think you'll make you'll have good communication and set good boundaries and set strong boundaries from the start good luck good luck

We'll see you next time. hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think we're back from the break and we're gonna get into a don't blame them don't blame them is where one of our listeners will call in or write in with their own advice pertaining to a call we had on a prior episode so they might have personal experience like that last caller had written in

and uh asked if anybody else had experience with it this is where you can you know phone a friend that you don't even know is your friend yet oh so sweet look at me making friendship connections for all of you maybe you should have a friendship reality show it's like a dating show but it's just to find friends and it's and it's called i am here to make friends i actually am here to make friends no yeah friendship island this is don't blame them for the episode friends want me to stay with my toxic ex i thought your advice about what to do was great but wanted to address wanting a therapist but tired of going through trauma over and over. As a psychologist, my advice is don't talk about the trauma until you

know it is the right therapist. See how you gel with them. Talk about a current problem like a breakup. Say you know there are things you will want to talk about but aren't ready yet. If they push you to talk about it early, you know they aren't right. I also always advise people if you can have a first meeting with five different therapists then you won't settle for a not awful but will get a feel for what different therapists can be like and be able to get a sense of who you like best and set up a second session with them and be honest you are doing this again a good therapist won't care and if they do you know it is a no yeah i think that's that's good advice interviewing therapists i think the same thing of like when you have the option to similar with

like not going with like the first you know for health care if you can like shop around for like a good doctor or whatever when you have the capacity to do so it can be great and it can also just make you feel like you have a little bit more agency in it and you don't get defeated as fast because those like phone things it's like quick on the phone real quick recap like go over everything it's free figure out if your vibe don't move on quick as opposed to getting invested it's kind of like going on dates like you know like sometimes it's good to like not just get put all of your eggs in one basket with one person you match on a dating app with and you talk and talk and talk and talk for like months before you go on a real like on a date versus putting feelers

out for like five people who you think you get along with doing like a quick coffee date and not getting too invested in one it's an interview process they're working for you they're you're hiring them for a job for you so i think going in with like set questions and a set vibe help with i think so too We'll be right back. on board here's to west jetting since 96 travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years shall we get into the update let's do it this uh person is 27 she her this is an update for

the episode title don't blame me friends want me to stay oh friends want me to say same same episode friends want me to stay with my toxic ex I was the write-in about eloping this year so this person was they were feeling uh pressure or they were confident in their decision to elope but outside things like their friends were also getting married and planning weddings and being like should I feel like I don't necessarily want to have a wedding but I'm feeling like I should feel like I want to do that am I missing out am I going to regret this am I having a little bit of wedding FOMO even though I don't want to have a wedding Megan asked if I'm on TikTok and I'm not really it's coming from my friends because they had weddings and my fiance and I are not

in the way that my friends are. For context, I work in the education world and he works as a physical therapist. Our friends have different financial situations and families helping them, whereas our families aren't helping us. It's also hard to not dwell on conforming to what others are doing and at times don't express how I feel about the judgment I receive for eloping. Melissa mentioned how people who have had weddings and photographed some people, how they no longer have relationships with them, and my hairdresser even said the same thing. to wrap it up, my fiance and I are the ones who've been together the longest of our friend group. Yeah. This to me is you're you're you need friends who are not getting married or you need friends

who are already married because like there is something that happens. It's like an infection of some sorts. Some might call it bridalitis. Like when you are getting married and you are a bride, you are told that you are the most important person in the world, that this is like this big day that it's your big this is all about you when in reality like people have been doing this for a long time like this is you are not the first person to ever get married any of that but it like in theory for a lot of people the ideal is like this is the one time that you do it and it's a lot of people view this as the one time they can be like selfish the one thing that one time they can do everything about them and it's kind of hard to shut that off around other people because

those other people you you're you're so used to your wedding the time of your wedding being all about you that like other people's timelines and their wedding and all of that kind of stuff like it just becomes like that and it becomes you've done this so then everybody else needs to do the same thing and again like a lot of people planning weddings are like really fucking miserable and in order to feel better about being miserable they need other people to be miserable like i really think that's like the biggest the biggest thing nobody i know who planned a who like planned a wedding themselves gave me has given me any sort of judgment but the people who like you know mommy and daddy signed the check and they were still miserable the whole time we're like wait you're

not gonna you guys aren't gonna no we're not going to Portugal to have a wedding like but most people are miserable and they want you to be miserable as opposed that's easier for them to deal with than them having to deal with the fact that they're miserable and they're also not just miserable in the wedding process they're also miserable in their relationship yeah because it brings up all that shit like it seems like they have to be on a timeline and so they get married to the wrong person and they're miserable together and they they're miserable throughout their relationship they're miserable throughout the wedding process and they're miserable during their marriage and those people will be divorced within five years it stresses them out and pisses

them off to then see people who have been in relationships longer who are happier and are also not rushing they don't feel that pressure of a timeline like you you're essentially holding up a mirror to people and the wedding and bridal time is so so self-indulgent that it in general I think if you are that self-indulgent eventually it becomes full circle of you just hate yourself like you can't focus on yourself that much with entirely positivity like it becomes so nitpicky about your body, your clothes, the people, all of these things become like a reflection of you and you start to hate yourself. And like it it's a really, really negative, nasty feeling that people profit off of. And when you are not doing that same thing and you are like, I'm actually not

going to subject myself to this because like this doesn't look fun. The only time like I remember like telling people like, but you're not going to have a wedding. And I was like, you just spent like an hour telling me about like how miserable you are planning a wedding and how horrible this is. And it's like, well, no, I don't really think I want to do that. And it's like, that's shocking because it never crossed their mind that that was an option. And like to value yourself, your happiness, your relationship, your wellbeing, all of that, to not have to participate in this like performance is really unsettling to some people because like, not only do they not know it was an option, like they could have never chosen to do that because that's not, they don't have that

security. So you need friends who are not in this life state. Or people that are actually happy. That's what I mean. Like people who are not in like this pressure cooker of like a timeline of you're in a miserable relationship, a timeline. Yeah. There could be people that are getting married, but they're just actually happy in their actual relationship. And they're not wanting to keep up or try to outdo the last person that was getting married. And what is doing showing off instead of like actually wanting to be with this person I feel like having a happy lasting relationship for as long as it lasts but like as long as you're happy throughout it like that's more successful than having a fancy wedding where you're just miserable 100% and like I think

it would be good for you to also just get out of the bridal and like wedding mindset even though like you're not doing what they're doing you're doing a loping in a small party like you know go rock climbing join like a physical like do something that like with people who are the the commonality is not like we're gonna sit and talk about all of our weddings like over over brunch like get some perspective and like people who are it can be people who are married who are single whatever it is but just like step aside like out of that bubble for a minute because like you are not enjoying the bubble but you're not stuck in the bubble you can be a whole other you could be like an entire human who also just happens to be getting married and like it doesn't

have to be everything but when you're circle everybody's at that timeline it suddenly becomes about every conversation and so to me i'd be like yeah i'm i'm gonna hang out with some different people i'm going to start a new hobby i'm going to do something that has like nothing to do with this this world just to put me back and giving me some better perspective so good luck I hope that everything turns out the way that you want ignore people that aren't happy for you and what you're doing because I think that's a true testament to if like an actual friendship because if people aren't happy for you and the way that you're moving through your relationship either your man sucks or which you know sometimes it happens it happens but in this case it seems like more it's

like it may if if friends are coming to you with negativity then they aren't your actual friends yeah they should be happy for the way that you're you're wanting to get married yeah none of my good friends have like had anything to say about it and like to the point where like even like my in-laws like my sister-in-law like when they're like are you guys gonna get married eventually I'm like oh yeah like to the point where like Mott's and I forget that we're because it is like there's there's zero pressure there's none of that there's like yeah Megan's going Megan and Mott's are going sapphire mining for her birthday because that is that's more important and like nobody nobody cares and I think like if people cared I'd be a little bit like why do you why like what's why

why? And I think it's good to reflect on that, that like, why would these people care? Why are you judging? That's what it is. Cause it's not care. It's judgment. And like, you don't care. You're judging me. Why are you judging me? And honestly, I think less of you for judging me. I'm not, I'm not feeling judgment. I don't think I should be judged. I think you're weird for judging me. Yep. All right. That's the end of our episode. Thank you so much for listening thank you for joining us please write in with or call in with your predicaments that are going on in your life if it is something that we have done recently please just go back and listen to the episode because if your story is very similar to somebody else's our advice is

not going to change yeah also please proofread what you're sending through just you know put it any type of word processor like a word or even in notes and you can see the little squigglies that come up underneath just click through read click through it's helpful just make it easier for all of us please yeah the best thing i don't know if you already said this but reading something that you wrote out loud that really helps you with is this conveying across what i'm getting am i getting running out of breath ask here is this is this even saying what i wanted to say and if you're not sure it might be easier to call in for you or use a voice memo yep anything else megan any house cleaning no i found my passport that's it i'm so excited for you because what if

you didn't know yeah and then i made mods i was like mods where's yours using my backpack and i was like that you bring with you every day everywhere and he's like yeah and i was like bad idea why does he always have his passport on him because he just kept it in his backpack and like never took it out and i was like that's a bad idea and so i took both of ours and i put them both somewhere where i know where they are it's i don't want to i don't want to rob my passport it's like a very it's where i keep it usually and that's what i'm just making sure because remember that gift card that you put somewhere that you for sure knew where that was literally vlogged about it no the issue is i know where it was but then at one point moms was like why is it

actually why am i blaming him i think i was like why is it here like this is not a logical place i should put this somewhere that makes logically more sense to this day i have no idea where that place is that illogical stupid fucking place that i put it inside the cookbook i know that's the only place i can remember and i'm like i should have never fucking left it from there like i need to this is my learning lesson of like i need to stop trying to implement like neurotypical systems of organization to my brain because that's not how my brain works that's why when i think of arrival i think of redhead alien the movie like yeah i mean so like okay work with your brain when i think of redheaded alien i just think of the movie alien because so does mods and

that's why both of you were confused and that's why i need to keep my gift cards i've never seen arrival either so neither have i okay yeah but if you don't know this traveling now you have to have a real id domestic or not yeah so you should still go get it i've signed plan okay that's it we hope you enjoyed don't forget to watch the patreon uh join the patreon watch the video versions do live streams there twice a month it is so fun you get to know people make some new friends and uh it's a grand old great old time would you like to tell them about our other shows I would, Megan. Tomorrow will be Fisting Friday. On Monday, we'll have But Am I Wrong? Tuesday is See You Next Tuesday, where we vote on things that were on But Am I Wrong? Wednesday, you're going to listen to my series on Pocket FM called Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha. Thursday, you're going to be right back here for Don't Blame Me. All right. We hope you enjoyed. Bye.

this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz production assistance by melanie d watson and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso