Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Boyfriend's Family Uses the N Word

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Annoying neighbor plays music too loud Boyfriend’s dad is financially abusive  Can’t stand boyfriend’s racist family Don't Blame Them: Not knowing how to kiss And reading people's thoughts on the co-sucker call Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Call In - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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hello everybody and welcome to another episode of don't don't blame me i wonder if any of you are new here and you have just started here because you saw um a little bitch named megan on tiktok commenting saying hey you should check out this podcast if you're looking for something for four days a week to fill up your uh time because your docket is now cleared because you've finally decided it's time for you to stop listening to the bigots from the toast i was dying one for that comment that one comment i made about the ai stuff but then people saying this is her podcast partner and I was like I am so much more than that that was rude to me like that was more rude than people that didn't know who I was it was I think someone called you my business partner and

I said that's incredibly formal sure do we share do we have a joint bank account yeah but like don't do that right don't do that first you should first of all I think you should automatically assume we're sisters and then after that you go okay best friends and then you go and I think they also work together but like you should think we're sisters first not podcast partners or colleagues offensive it's offensive side eye like also nobody i work with who's a woman i feel that way about do you know what i mean like i'm like i would never in my like if i hated someone who was a woman who i worked with i would say this is this is a colleague i would no no no but i yeah i died at that dear ai comment i was laughing so fucking hard you know i was i was working it up

and you know i think it's time for me to start making and posting more podcast clips because what i can tell from my feed is the girlies are desperately needing a podcast from two women who and really their expectations are quite low and i would like to say raise them a little bit higher they were like please just don't be cool with elon musk we're getting tagged in a lot of things too i've also been tagging us in them too and i said this podcast is great i made a tiktok video oh my god i saved it trying to watch because i was uh i was either going to bed or i was doing something in the morning where i couldn't listen with the sound on and i said i gotta watch this Yeah, I'm starting to make day in the life videos now. But the whole thing is just to advertise this podcast. Like, I just need to be in people like just make content. But my thought was, I saw you talking more about the podcast. And I was like, I need to do something. I need to start building up some type of following or something.

when i saw you write that i said i should talk about the podcast more and you did that because you saw me you said i'm talking about the podcast inspiring each other so i've taken my account off of um private finally and now i'm gonna start making stuff so i have i made i put one up yesterday and i'll put one up today i just need to edit in the voice over and then yeah and we'll record in person too because it is getting dark early but like it's not getting dark at three o'clock anymore yeah yeah well well it's 3 40 right now and the sun is going down well now also doesn't count because there's fires closer to you but not really but no but in general the the the uh whatever the uv is quite low it is low it's never getting that bright right now

yeah but there's fires there's a fire close to you right now i think not close close it's almost out okay yeah damn they did that they did a good job i mean i feel like the palisades one is actually closer than that than that one is no but they were almost touching and that's when i panicked the easton fire and the um oh my god where oh no it was the easton fire was getting close to angela's forest and i was like we're fucked fucked if we get there and every time these fires get somewhat close i'm like to each other i'm like no please don't please yeah for us well this is don't blame me a call it advice show you can also write in now too where we two unqualified very qualified individuals i feel like now we can't say

that anymore because we have been doing this professionally since 2017 and we make money so that does make us professional advice givers when people started commenting on my videos talking about the specific advice I gave him and I didn't recognize the advice and I was like that's really good advice they're like Megan you said that I was like actually we should be getting paid from so many we should be getting so I think at this point we fully deserve an honorary honorary PhD an honorary doctorate like this is like I think we're doing we're doing an incredibly good job and you know what we're doing we're doing an incredibly good job while also not defending you on and like who knew that that was such a a hard place to find a venn diagram of a podcast

well okay but here we are two professional advice givers we've been in this a long time and we cover if you're new from tiktok or any other place we cover a wide spectrum of things from family issues that might include incest by the way we're never on the side of it we're never on the side of we're never we don't even like step siblings diane had to remind me of that call that we had where the dog in the vagina with the butter melissa i wish i could forget i did forget because it wasn't in my top five and she said oh no this is missing i will i remember where i remember being in the mountain house when we got the call we like face we did a call back and we talked to the person who it was and i was like you are one of the bravest soldiers yeah ever and

then i was like you're gonna have the greatest life ever because you went through all of your trials and tribulations already and yeah yeah so we've got as nasty as that to as fun as hooking up with multiple brothers to getting peed on by a bride when you're the bridesmaid i think i think they were the maid of honor i'm trying to think of some more fun things oh um when someone's uh boyfriend hired a fiver sex witch yes to give them dreams about um hentai porn we have people who are like even just like going on dates and like wanting advice on you know how to whatever do this how kids yeah or sometimes being like how do i snoop how do i find x y and z information out love that and then sometimes we also have people who are committing adultery in the workplace

we'll get more into that no i can't i can't it's just don't show me to me rachel don't show me to me look if you missed it because it got kind of buried between us skipping episodes if you miss there was an update oh yeah go back i think two weeks go back there is there was a new episode in between old episodes and the person who co-sucked their co-worker gave us it's worse by the way it's worse and then the people that did listen left if you don't know you can leave individual you can leave comments on spotify to the individual episodes and that's what we're going to get into a little bit later wow wow wow and that's why the girls from the toes deleted their episode and re-uploaded it, cut out the Elon stuff, because I don't think they knew that

people could leave specific reviews with timestamps on specific episodes. So if you want to call in, we are a call-in advice podcast. You can give us a call at 310-694-0976. But we also, we don't say you just have to call in. You can also write in, you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com if you're international and the Google voice number doesn't work for you. But also we now have opened it up so you can type it out. You can write it out if you don't want your voice to be on there but people have also used voice changers we have no issue with that like it's all anonymous we keep it anonymous like i'm gonna use one of these voice changers on tiktok but i'm not gonna post my actual video i'm just gonna save it as a draft and then play it yep

we've had that that's perfectly fine it works totally fine so if you want to write it out you have to keep it under 300 words you could also send it to our instagram account in the dms which is at Megan and Melissa. Megan with an H, Melissa with one S. And if you want to do the voice ones, voice memo or voicemail, you have a three minute time limit. It will cut you off. The voice memo, we will cut you off. But for all of them, we ask that you're 18 or over, have your parents permission and you just know what you want to say beforehand. So whether it's like writing it down, practicing a few times, I don't even think we need to say people are doing a great job at all that info. We understand if you can't get all of the info

in there but you don't want our opinion to change if you like if we we talk to you and like we get more info or you call back and you give us an update or whatever we want to be continue to be on your side you know i mean like i don't we we want to be on your side so like give us the info that you know helps us make the decision we are just unbiased third parties i do have a bias about certain things but like if you first start off with being like megan i love you so much i'll usually be like well i'll be a little bit nicer i'm kidding no she's not i love when people like me but i also love people hate me me too i'm also not and that's the part we're not kidding about either i the episode i put up last night i guess i said that only like 30 percent of people like me

oh my god and you woke up to melissa you are so loved and valued in the youtube video from the original one because i wanted to download the video to get it to upload it and people were like melissa and i was like anyway oh i i don't actually think eric i must have been having a bad day or i was lying it was also the pandemic oh yeah we cannot be held accountable we talked about apparently frying cum which i don't even know what that means i'm really sorry i'm very sorry specifically it would have had to be i'm trying to think i'm just picturing it in a fucking caraway pan it would have had to get frozen first you have to get it freeze it coat it and then fry it oh i was thinking of a pan fry you're thinking of a deep

fry yeah that's what i was thinking okay i like yours better because in a pan fry i'm i'm looking at it at the whole time yeah you gotta freeze it first yeah i like yours better do you think it came from the fact that i talked about how like i tweeted the first time i ever gave a blow job when i was like 16 being like am i gonna be allergic to cum because like is it dairy like does it because it comes from a mammal i don't know but we honestly think that's a big brain thing both of us can really eat fried foods like that too no and like we eat fries though we do love fries i want to go back to palm springs and have those fries whenever anyone says french fries my mind transports me back to that fucking patio in palm springs and the best fries ever and we're

at this long ass table and all of us are shouting across the table are you trying these these are the best fries we ever had and i think we got three refills like it literally was so much i think we need to take a little trip oh my god let's go yeah okay so we're gonna give some advice first up at 27 i recently bought my first home and moved out of my parents house congratulations after four months things are great except for a neighbor across the street he's a seemingly nice man in his 40s or 50s who lives alone but he plays extremely loud music in his garage particularly the bass it's a constant pounding that penetrates my house even with the tv loud my own music playing or headphones on i initially confronted him and he was agreeable giving me his number and

saying other neighbors text him when it's too loud i hesitated to text immediately wanting to avoid being seen as a complainer eventually i did text him and he became defensive claiming i was the only one who has ever complained contradicting his earlier statement we supposedly quote unquote cleared things up but two weeks later he played his bass loudly from 4 30 p.m to almost midnight i texted him at 7 30 p.m and he responded with a comment about the weather ignoring my request I'm frustrated and unsure what to do. Selling isn't an option. I've ordered some budget-friendly soundproofing materials,

but I can't afford major renovations. I've considered talking to other neighbors, but they seem friendly with him and I don't want to cause drama. I also assume if they had an issue, it would have been resolved by now. I'm at a loss and seeking advice. This is tough. This is tough. I would, if you haven't already, I would make friends with your neighbors.

and they might be seemingly friendly with them but they're actually not because i had a major complaint with my neighbors and no it seemed like i was the only one that cared well it also felt very specific to you yeah so i started talking to my other neighbors and they were on my side you know struck up a light friendship and then once we got comfortable I like brought up something very casually like did you notice that oh oh and then I said oh I've been taking pictures and creating basically a dossier and they're like oh when you figure out how to get this rectified please let me know because I will co-sign with this so and then that started other people to join in with me so it's not it might seem like on the surface that it's just a

you problem but if it's bothering you this much is bothering somebody else that much unfortunately you might be in an area where the acoustics hit just right where it's extra annoying for you but you won't know that unless you talk to other people you got to be smooth with them yeah as someone who adores talking shit with anybody i can i like this one resonates with you particularly so deeply um the way that like i overheard one of my neighbors talking to like mods or whatever about something and i came in and i get are we talking shit and they were like no and they were like why and i was like i was just curious like you know if we all hate the same person on the block if we all want to talk shit this person brought up someone else who i

didn't like and i said okay well i'm fine if that wasn't who i was thinking about i thought you were gonna dislike that other person but like this is fine it is like strength in numbers and all of that kind of stuff but also like you might be so the homes where in LA in general are very very very old some people have done renovations but in general in my neighborhood it's not new builds it's very very old houses and so we all there any installation that you add like it's aftermarket it's our no one's tearing down their houses to like do it's not like plots of land where you're doing a fresh new build by choice and so for that i would say soundproofing yes is important but if you are in an old old house it's also insulation that's first is also very important so like i

would have someone come in who's like not just like an audio person but like do you notice that your house is drafty like that might be where some of the parts like the sound is getting in and some of your neighbors part of the reason talking to them they might be more friendly with him because they have found ways to mitigate the sound in their own homes and they can also tell you what that is but uh i think it's super important to talk to people and then finally i would say buy a or rent i don't know maybe you can get from the library you can get a lot of like doodads and knickknacks from the library a uh noise decibel monitor and see what the actual like level and like not i think your phone is like an app that you can do that but like that's

not accurate like get like an actual accurate one and monitor what that is because i am a highly noise sensitive person I hate noise I hate quiet noise I hate loud noise but like I'm so so so sensitive so for me I know that in instances like even going to the movies I wear like loop ambience like earplugs and stuff like I can still hear everything I don't like this the I don't usually like wearing the earplugs that really cancel everything out that stresses me out I don't like being able to hear my footsteps and that echoey underwater feeling so finding out if it's like is this actually too loud because if it is on a decibel meter too loud it no matter quiet hours or like city ordinance if it's a certain level of volume it is it will be too

it'll be illegally too loud for if it's not like a construction project like it's it's not city mandated so if it's that loud then i think at a certain point then you talk to your neighbors and then it's like hey i really don't want to go to the city i don't want to talk about like i just i would love if you could just turn your music down or you know we'd be happy as a uh as a as a block to to chip in and contribute towards getting you an awesome pair of headphones like i would love that but like if you continue to play your music like this loud at that point it becomes not only a health issue for you but for other people around it becomes it drowns out noise that you might need of hearing cars coming up and all that stuff and like it is against the

city ordinance and then you can report them agree i don't know if they'll do anything but sometimes the the threats enough if you do it when it's actually happening then they will tell them to turn it down if this happens continuous then it could be a fine so yeah track you got to record things and make sure you're keeping a paper trail and i think getting the decimal decimal monitor especially if it's after a certain time a day too it's in a lot of cities it's illegal after if it's like a weekday and it's after like midnight then you can't be a certain level and then on the weekend it's like two o'clock in the morning or something like yeah and it sounds like he's aware of that because like he stopped at like right around midnight which i'm like i think he also

might think that but at a certain point when you reach a certain decibel you can't do that regardless of the typical regardless quiet hours or whatever yeah but research your city see what the level is and then go from there yeah by the way he without a doubt has profound hearing loss so that he probably doesn't hear how loud it is yeah well that's why he's listening to it that loud and like i don't know i don't want to say that like he's not not being a dick but like i would keep it's not he's not trying to drive you crazy it's a side effect of this it's driving you crazy and it is inconsiderate but he probably is like this is not a normal level if it's really fucking loud that's not you do that because you need that to hear it's not good all right

we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into some more We are back, and it's time for the next. I'm 27, and I've been with my boyfriend, 32, for four years. About a year into our relationship, his dad offered to help him buy a house. At the time, I wasn't very involved in the process. It's my first serious relationship, and long-term commitments freaked me out. My boyfriend planned to have roommates to afford the mortgage. A year later, I moved in, and it made the most sense to live in his house.

I later learned his dad technically owns the house, and my boyfriend will inherit it one day. We could barely afford the mortgage on our own, so we got a roommate. Part of the rent goes towards the mortgage and the rest goes into savings accounts shared by my boyfriend and his dad. Recently, I took a job with a pay cut to get a free master's degree. We save the same amount each month,

but we definitely could not afford the mortgage on our own now. I don't like his dad. He uses money manipulatively, like paying for family trips and then controlling everything because he's footing the bill. He also claims he quote unquote saved us

by buying the house, but the mortgage is as expensive as renting and we would be fine without it. If we moved out, his dad would guilt trip my boyfriend, calling him ungrateful, just scratching the surface my boyfriend already struggles with guilt and feels like he's failing because we can't afford the house alone i could tolerate a roommate for a few more years if it

meant saving to buy his dad out but i doubt that's realistic the savings account isn't even technically mine to my boyfriend's it's in his dad's his and his dad's name and his dad could use it as leverage this doesn't feel like our house i feel like i'm paying rent to his dad it's a hard subject to talk about let alone brainstorm ideas of what we could do what do you think our options are oh this sucks why are you putting money in a savings account that your your name is not on why are we doing that it's i just also if you can't afford the mortgage on your own what i'm confused about is like then why is there a savings account because the money should be going to that to the mortgage you should be paying off your actual loan because it's a mortgage paying that

off before you are saving money that you can't actually afford but also why did the dad buy a house that he couldn't afford in the beginning like it seems like he's just using this as a excuse to have a property that he owns but it's not in his son's name as well the son had to get roommates to even afford it and then after when you moved in you still can't afford it what what was the point what was the point of this part of me wonders if you could afford the mortgage if the savings account aspect wasn't added into that? Because that's not the mortgage. When you say part of the money goes towards the mortgage and the other part goes to the savings account, is the dad covering that a portion of the mortgage? None of this makes sense

to me. Like if he's covering, like, let's say, because I'm not good at math and this is not what it is. Yeah. Let's say the mortgage is $500. It's not. And you pay, you're like, I can pay 200 bucks your boyfriend can pay 200 bucks for yeah so then the and like someone else can pay 400 to that that is a thousand dollars five hundred dollars is going to the mortgage could you and your boyfriend if you're together in that instance you pay you can pay 200 he can pay 200 that's 400 you're only a hundred dollars short on the mortgage is the dad paying oh i'm paying that additional hundred dollars and so I'm actually not pocketing that I'm taking that hundred whatever I'm taking the money you're giving me and I'm putting in a savings account

is that what he's is he covering the whole mortgage and then taking the money you give him to put into like a high interest savings account I need you to put yourself first because you're paying into a mortgage that you're getting nothing off of because right now the dad is owns he said that eventually the son will inherit it so the son isn't getting anything right now but you're paying into this never going to get anything unless he's giving it to both of you and then also you're paying into a savings account that you're also not getting anything from you need to have more control of your own finances that aren't tied to them so sure you're paying rent i get that but at the end of the day you're paying rent to somebody that is related to

somebody you're in a relationship with that will get something out of it but you won't and what you have no money in your own savings account with your name on it i also it doesn't sound like the relationship with him and his dad is so great that like there might not even be a guarantee that he gets anything out of this you should put it in a is it in a trust because that would be what to do If it is guaranteed that, yes, he's going to get it, then he needs to set up a trust right now. And the trust is at least the one where you're putting money into the savings account should be that you're on that, too. Yeah. And like, I think there's totally like not bad or predatory or like at least less predatory ways to do this renting from whether it's a partner or a family, like whatever that is. I think there's ways to do that. And I think very few of them exist with paying market value or more

than market value for a mortgage without anything in return. I think paying less than market value towards a mortgage with nothing in return is fair. I think that's totally fine. I think paying just utilities or paying to like, you know, to like fix things up and do those kinds of things and then living there for free. I think that makes sense. But like, like you said, like, I feel like I'm not, I feel like it's not my house. I feel like I'm just paying rent to my boyfriend's dad. You are, it is not your house. You're paying rent to him. And like the whole point of these kinds of circumstances and situations, it should be a better deal than you get with a landlord who is not related to you, doesn't know you and doesn't care about you. And this is not like

you said, like, it's like what you'd be paying if you just rented a place. And I think more importantly than that the money that he is profiting off of the money spending a savings account he's making money off of that and so you could be using that money to cover like you you could be investing in that you could then be making money off of that money and i think like this is like if it's easier for you because it's more commonly talked about to view this like it's imagine it's your boyfriend and it's not his dad imagine it's like a a very emotionally dependent relationship with his mom and you wouldn't tolerate a toxic mother-in-law because like we hear about that all the time because it's much easier for us to talk shit on women

this is that this is like if he can't stand up to his dad the same advice we give when someone's like oh my partner lets my mother-in-law walk all over me it's like he won't stop doing that if someone cannot like separate the family that you're born into and all that with like the family that you marry or you spend the relationship with and like the people you choose for that there is a shift in priorities and if he's not willing to like stand up for that or whatever like that to me as at 32 i'm out because i'm worried you can't even stick up for yourself and not get screwed over the situation let alone make sure i don't get screwed over in the situation seems like a scam to me oh it's fully a scam move out your options are to have your own place

or to convince them that this needs to be in a trust and you need to get a percentage of that. And there needs to be a contract. And right now, if there's not a contract, if there's not a lease agreement, that's actually great because you can walk away from it. You're not held to any of that, but there needs to be a legal document drawn up

and you need to have your own representatives there, not just like him having a lawyer or whatever to like look over it or say that my lawyer did this, so it's fine. And then you tell your boyfriend, we we need to draw a hard light in the sand with your dad because if we're going to continue on with this relationship this is money is always going to be something that he seemingly has and something that we're always in general most people are going to need it sounds like to me if it's

something where you're going to if your boyfriend is going to eventually inherit it why don't you why doesn't the dad rent it out to somebody else and then y'all move into an apartment to rent and then that way it's all covered the expenses are all covered on the house i guess and then and i don't i don't like this from a renter's point of view but this is a way like to help you yourself but like he rented out to somebody else that way the whole mortgage is covered then you guys are in an apartment that you can actually afford you have your own savings account that you're putting your own money in and then everything is clean and then eventually when he's ready to sell it then or not sell it when he's ready to pass it on then he passes it on to his son and then

y'all can move in there yeah or even like doing the sense of like not only just like upkeep of like i don't know how big the property is and like the inside of the house but like you know if you're like oh it's an older home redoing it and then having like putting that money into putting your putting using that mortgage money that you have spent into renovating said house and that's what that is and that's what you said or whether it's like oh like live and work there like okay you're going to do whatever that is like there's so many i think options of that but they all have to be done in legal documents that are drawn up with that but at the end of the day he will fuck you over he's already fucking you over is what i'm like he's

already fucking you over and the putting it in a savings account thing like it's just it's just bad and like i don't know anybody who has like family money who would put their kid in a situation that makes them suffer while telling them it is for their benefit and tell and telling them that this is a financial decision that's good for them is like not how you teach financial responsibility either. All right. We're going to take a break. When we get back, we'll get into the next one. At Ikea, we make things just for college life, like the Rosenmantle blackout curtains in gray. They say you can't put a price on sleep, but we did. For the low, low price of $49.99.

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one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free

for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. We're back. hi you guys um i actually called in a long time ago like five years ago and i said that every guy in the dating apps are always like oh you look like fun you look like fun they're not taking me seriously well your advice is pretty good and i did get a man and we have been together

for almost three years now and it's lovely but his family i cannot stand his family they're like a lot they're actually very scary white people saying the n-word type of vibe and I don't want to be a part of that so I just really avoid them and I come up with a lot of reasons why I can't go to things and I am pretty busy so I usually can't go anyways but there's that guilt that's like oh i never hang out with his family but he's a delight and he's always over at our functions and you know we have a really good time but it feels a little one-sided so what can i do thank you five years well i'm i remember this episode very vividly and by the way in the best way possible you still are fun you sound like fun you still and like from a friendship point

and i think we said that the last time but like the way that guys were saying that was like not good but i want you to know you didn't lose that being in a three-year relationship like you're still fun and i'm glad that you've found somebody and three years together does your boyfriend use the n-word that's my first question and is he okay with his family using the n-word is my second question once we get those questions out the way then we can move on to he's at your family's house they're having a good time at your functions so why can't we just keep things the way they are you are too busy for his family anyway does he even want like you this sounds like a self-imposed like i should be doing this does he think you should be doing this or does he go my parents

are racist and my family fucking sucks like we don't have you do not have to spend time there let's hang out with your family i like them a lot better the only thing i would say is that like i understand the avoiding but i would and you probably know this because i'm sure you had to find out some way that they do this so i'm sure you've been and you just didn't say that that's how this happened but like like i would be i would want to go to be like what does he do when this happens and like who is he like what like where is that is it like i'm removing myself from the conversation is it like i've and even asking him of like i've tried to have this conversation with them it's not happening and like right now i'm not at the place where i like want to completely

sever that relationship so like i don't engage i don't let them say it i don't endorse it if they say that i walk away i move on but that's like that's what i can muster up right now i think is very different than like i uncomfortably giggle along and like makes like sleepy joe comment like it's like i don't know what the what level of participation he's in and i would you've been with him for three years so I'm sure you know but like I would kind of want to see that and then I'm like if you're spending every weekend with them I go that's a lot of time to be spending with versus like a holiday or a funeral or you know whatever I think that it sounds like he opts in to spend time with your family and he could be spending that time with his family and to me as

someone who also opted in to spend time with other people's families that was like never wasn't for this reason but like it was never a conversation it was like they they knew like okay yeah you're choosing to have family dinner at our family house so they're we're gonna assume there that like it's when when you are spending the time there it's not necessarily the first choice you'd want to be i also have another question too um it doesn't change any outcome but are they saying the n-word as in homie like to each other or are they

calling black people the n-word or is it a mix of both do they mean it like homie right by the way if you guys are brand new here listen to the other episodes a cop recently said that to our face in my area about someone

being called the f-sword do they mean that like homie that says more about you than me but that's a question i would like to have a response to that i think that like i also would like if you painted a picture because um white when you were like they're like you know i don't really like those people they're the kind of white people who say the n-word unfortunately there are a lot of different iterations of white people who say the n-word

so like is this uh we have black people in the family so we use it because they say it's okay are are we feeling like oh this is like i wear my hair in braids because uh my best friend is black and this is fine and my braider says it's fine because i'm paying her and so like is it something like that like they feel pure racist yes is it like fuck black people and fuck immigrant like is it is it a political is it also in a political and like moral social aspect of it that like because i mean obviously both are without a doubt bad both of them don't know don't engage but i still want to know in what context are they using it well because for me in the context that they're using it also really um really affects how i would view my relationship because like

if i'm getting married i can't have racist at my wedding right i have black friends mons has black friends like that's like like that's something of like hey i don't feel safe bringing the people i love into this environment versus this is going to make i'm gonna by the way you're gonna check out this cousin who thinks chet hanks like there is a it's a very different kind of risk assessment there that i think like i would like how i view my partner and like do you can you only be friends with white people because like you are afraid for the safety if your family found like or is this like a this is embarrassing versus this is dangerous so i think that like that also again neither are okay but for me yes you date someone's family but at the end of the day

i'm like it's who do you choose and those choices that you make what does that look like for my future our kids future like will will this relationship with your parents affect the decisions make you we you make forward in your life and if we stay together that we will have to make as a couple like yeah that to me is like i don't feel that i because i wouldn't bring like i don't know if you want to have kids or whatever but like to me i'm like you're bringing people into this that it's not not good but i'm gonna bet you that he also hates us yeah and i'm also curious if you are a person of color as well because you use the word he comes to our functions and i don't know many white people that use functions but i know a plethora of people of

color that use function i did look it up because function is also by bias by because of it is coming from black people a bay area term and i looked it up they're not from the i mean i knew it wasn't a bay area area code but i was like maybe somewhere close no and this where it is i i know nothing about that state so i don't know if they use the so i'm thinking like this is a person of color in a white area yeah i'm thinking though but yeah i think the other thing i would also just like look at like does my are you worried about your boyfriend sharing some of these views quietly like who are his friends what kind of content does he consume what media does he consume like all of that stuff and if all of it is white white white white white and rap music

that doesn't clear his name whatsoever so imagine this is chet hanks you know i'm sorry because that was me saying that rita and tom have you seen her rap i'm so sorry rita raps no but i was saying this is my implication that tom hanks and rita are just saying the n-word and family function but i was like i don't i didn't know no it's the opposite it's just their son wait what is what rap did she do one of the snl ones no she did like got in front of a microphone oh my god Rita Ora pops up first. Rita Wilson, you need to figure that out. Wait, for what, Melissa?

I think it was just for fun. Doesn't she also sing? I don't know. She is. She's a singer. Okay, well, she was rapping. What kind of rap? Just look it up.

No. Quarantine, stir crazy, the rap. This is Imagine all over again. I can't do this. All right. We're going to take another break. When we get back, we'll get into a don't blame them and comments. when west jet first took flight in 1996 the vibes were a bit different people thought denim on denim

was peak fashion inline skates were everywhere and two out of three women rocked the rachel while those things stayed in the 90s one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at WestJet.com slash 30 years. Alright, we're back.

And now it's time for Don't Blame Them. What's Don't Blame Them, Megan? Don't Blame Them is when someone calls in or writes in. I'm just scared. This one isn't something to be scared about. It's not about that. okay no don't blame them is when someone calls in or writes in with their own advice based on a call we had aired on a previous episode so they might have their own advice because they've been

through something similar in their personal life or they might have professional advice it might relate to what they do for work or they just have like some deep random knowledge on it because sometimes we all go into those deep rabbit holes or they just have feelings and opinions and they're going to share them hi megan and melissa this is don't blame them for the january 16th episode this is for the woman that wanted a step-by-step on how to kiss you both missed an important detail where the caller said she's autistic i'm also an autistic woman and getting advice that talks about vibes won't work for me here's a step-by-step one when you go in for a hug can be at any time Hug for about three seconds and then pull back slightly, but keep your hands where they were when you were hugging.

Then you pull back and you should be about six inches from each other. Look at her in the eyes and ask, can I kiss you? If she says yes, lean your head to the right so that your noses won't hit and lean into her and to your lips are about one inch from hers. Four, wait two seconds to see if she closes the gap and kisses you. If she doesn't, lean fully in and press your lips to hers gently for about one second. Five, pull away and smile at her. And you did it. Some brief advice on making out.

In terms of breathing, you can breathe through your nose while making out so you don't have to stop. If you want to take a break to catch your breath, you can pull back and start kissing her cheek or neck. For tongue action, start by opening your mouth more when you kiss. let let her start using her tongue first and mimic what she does it's like you're touching each other's tongues together right where your lips meet and then making a licking motion then take your tongue back so it's no longer touching her tongue and then repeat this is the exact wiki how i have a question though if you're making out with tongue if it's just where your lips meet do you mean your lips meet hers because then it's like or do you mean your lips because

then it's just like the the turtle thing i was talking about yeah like your your tongue is longer than that and your tongue should be i mean i'm not telling you to go keep it yeah like keep it cute first but like it should be half and half like half it's not like all the way in like it should be equal amounts in your mouth in theirs yeah it shouldn't just be like just past your lips or like just like touching their lips your tongue shouldn't touch their lips your tongue should touch inside of their mouth yeah you start like if you're initiating it might be like a little lick on the no not like that megan come on a little knock knock at the door a little um but i will say i wasn't disregarding the autistic part i was actually thinking about

some of my autistic friends when i was giving the advice yeah i think that this is great like step by step yeah but people don't exist in a monolithic totally and i think that like it the the build-up instance for when you start step one i think is a the part that always used to psych me out of like like once we get to that step one but i think this is good because like i don't even know how i would describe how to do you know i mean so i think it's good it's good it's good tips and then don't use your teeth also by the way if you cannot breathe through your nose and it is not like a do you encounter this as someone who had a severe and it's still bad but it's not as bad because it's impossible to correct when it's that bad deviated septum i can only breathe out like

10 of one of my nostrils and then like i don't know 50 of whatever i was not getting a ton of air but like i was still able to breathe through my nose while making out if you can't breathe through your nose because you're congested it is not the time to be making out because it will warm everything up and then you're snotting on someone and that's not sexy but you can also like if you are someone that can't breathe through their nose you can breathe through your mouth like it's not totally i'm saying if it is because you're so congested i wouldn't i wouldn't make out with someone if it's no no just a temporary congestion making out with anybody yeah you're sick you should actually say you also have phlegm in your throat like no thanks uh but

like if you are someone that cannot breathe out of your nose you can breathe out of your mouth yeah and you know how does your mouth should be so latched on that you're getting a suction it's not a vortex okay thank you yeah thank you all right and then uh we're gonna get into some comments from that same episode but there was a call where someone was co-sucking someone i called it co-sucking their co-worker but that's what happened that's exactly what happened two people no three people who work in a cellular device store are we saying that they said it okay okay okay i couldn't remember if that was just an us tip okay they had a flirty relationship with one of their co-workers and then that co-worker had like a little bit of a

relationship with a male co-worker and then it suddenly went from hey i think me and this male co-worker who by the way married with children and i also in this being this other woman co-worker in this situation long-term relationship also have kids right yeah they were married too no they have kids or no no i think only kids no they had kids too okay the person who calls us is talking about how their co-worker is a girl and has a little bit of a crush on her they have flirty relationship it's just it's the flirty banter but the a male co-worker has a little bit of like a random flirty banter with this co-worker too not with the original caller and then this the co-worker the girl who was like has a little bit of a crush on our caller um was like hey you

know i know that i'm married with kids and i know he's married or i know i'm in a long-term relationship with kids i know he's married with kids um i think that like we're gonna like hook up and then our caller said oh my god that's great let me know how it goes and that's how translated into well while they were hooking up in the back closet of the cellular store that they work at well it translated into instead of good luck come along now join the first time no the first time though it was just the two of them and the caller was keeping guard and then the second time the caller want to be an active participant and then it started and then it just turned into we've now put on our work schedule that we're gonna suck your day at oh 600 hours every day

seemingly behind the xbox i don't know like it is crazy and then people were fucking and people were seeing each other and all of that and it was like oh my god initially the people there could not be any eating of cats going on that was sucking of titties so and it was he was allowed to do that but he was not he was allowed to have his dick sucked but he was not allowed to have that and then apparently i didn't raise any red flags of maybe you're not in an open relationship and um people started breaking right didn't people break up everybody broke up yeah and then the caller like rescued him off the curb and brought him back to their place but they also had called in previously about how to hook up with people because their roommate is their brother and

and really what they are is a liar because you're not but you should go back and listen to all of it because it's very shocking if you sign up for a patreon you can see our facial expressions so here's some responses to the update black liberace i know you comment on a lot of our stuff but i'm not gonna comment i'm not gonna read this because a little offensive but i see it obsessed with that username yeah so then we're gonna go on all these are public comments so i will be reading your names megan rosalie van tholen said girl is on some consumer cellular bs and i think that's a good call because you were trying to put it on sprint megan oh yeah so sorry um consumer cellular bs please stop and put that man back on the curb where you found him great rachel franklin said i

had to pause three times so far in shock and awe while listening to this episode in my cubicle at work holy fuck i still have 11 minutes to go now would you say as you're at your workplace are you craving sucking cock while you're in your cubicle is that cubicle making you go you and i could really go for right now slurping down a shaft gotta wet that here's the thing i think it's crazy that we literally started this recording being like i can't believe that one time we talked about fry and cum and like here we are right now and i go actually i can i can picture it now i can picture it then we have yarid carmona apologizes i'm mispronouncing your name god i wish the video was on spotify is it on patreon i am willing to pay to see y'all's faces

yes yes it is on patreon go check it out it's crazy our faces are so fucking funny because we're recording virtually so we have a slight bit of like ours is not at the exact same time and our brains my brain works a little slower than yours so like to put the pieces together to like suddenly watch us oh my god it's so funny the shock and awe you and you should watch both episodes and then tori heck said the co-sucker also being the brother's situation is crazy fucking crazy to everyone that let us know that we were following people thanks we got millions of messages on both our per i'm sure you got them on your personal and yeah but okay in general i think that people are like viewing this as like some weird conspiracy theory i think of anyone

who they didn't follow like the potus accounts or the any of that i'm like okay sure that makes sense but like i got like them literally at midnight being like hey you're following this is really concerning i'm like up until 12 hours ago less than up 30 minutes ago this was not these accounts no but people are like but there are these new accounts and i was like i do think they are doing something where they're transferring the followers over to a separate account and like this isn't like it's not it's not it literally happened the last time too it's the same thing it happened it happened before yeah it's like splitting off an account chill but somebody else said i'm laughing so fucking hard at y'all reading this i had forgotten that they were both married

with children because this person had kind of defended them in the original don't blame them they said i'm laughing so fucking hard at y'all reading this i had forgotten that they were both married with children y'all are so right and it being the pregame to wicked is crazy also yes megan is one or ten thousand percent correct i don't have any young children around me or in my life at all so she was probably spot on that i don't have anybody to like envision in their places yeah and that's why you forgot that there are kids involved because unless you have like young kids who are in your family or in your life that is not a detail that you're like holy shit i'm just immediately picturing my niece and nephew going through this i'm immediately picturing

whoever going through that so that makes total sense why you forgot all right well i know this saga isn't over so og caller keep them coming we need updates but i also need to know how your life is improving do you even like your job can you get a new job and also i think we should be not rewarding this man who came in who like why also and also was working for like a bit of term uh underneath you and now he's now he's your manager and i go what do you mean this man got hired after you and after the other person there and now he's the manager we should be mad about this we shouldn't be rewarding that with a with a with a slurp slurp and a suck suck all right well thank you so much to everyone that's listened remember that we are here four

days a week tomorrow we have fisting friday monday we have but am i wrong tuesday see you next tuesday wednesday use that as your catch-up day catch up on some other episodes and then thursday we're back here for don't blame me also buy our merch check it out it's really fun we may have some updates coming also if there's anything that you're like hey i would like this let us know we might be able to make it happen yeah especially if you're our patreon you get first dibs the designer i know intimately because it's quite literally me with my ipad flick your bean no whenever i hear intimately i think of sexual ways oh i thought you were talking about my ipad pencil and i said it's less of a bean it's more of a it's more no i'm talking about

your clitoris oh no i know i just need to say that no i don't like how you said that's really aggressive um and also if you are here and you're like oh i thought this is gonna be more pop culture we talk so much pop like very much pop culture in our uh bonus not bonus but like our tuesday episode our friday episode and then um and you can also say hey talk about can we hear your thoughts or your feelings on this and then our uh but am i wrongs i think are like a perfect mix of pop culture and not ignoring you know horrible things in the world and sometimes it is like hey the world is on fire and we hate republicans um so let's talk about something stupid but it's never going to be like oh i actually had no idea that roe v wade is overturned

yeah um yeah we'll talk more about that listen back to monday's episode i have thoughts on it uh well that's our episode remember you can call in to 310-694-0976 good job got it write into meganpodcast at gmail.com keep it to 300 words or less please some of the ones that came in have been very long

lately 300 words I've cut them down so if you're like well that's not the exact thing that I asked for well I sent you an email back and asked you to trim it down and you didn't so made decisions for you

Follow us on TikTok. Follow Megan on YouTube. Toodaloo. Bye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.

And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.