Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Co-Sucking Your Coworker

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Boyfriend won't tell you that he loves you Getting back with your ex after being with A LOT of people Breaking up with your dismissive therapist Craving your manager's D Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Call In - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Wayfair's Labor Day clearance is on now. Right now at Wayfair, you can get up to 70% off everything home. Shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hi. You. i was gonna say freaks but melissa's the only freak in this room right now

oh yeah oh baby welcome to another don't put me you're freaking me out watch the video version if you'd also like to be somehow afraid and also i think i think some of you might be afraid and aroused and some of you might just be aroused i don't know what you're into that's the dichotomy the diversity the di that we're looking for and that's the di they're trying to get rid of if we can both be freaked and freaked who doesn't want to be a little freaked out while you get freaky hey welcome to the episode of don't blame me podcast where we me was aggressive have you ever no i'm not gonna do that nope but you've got to now i'm gonna ask

you've ever heard taylor swift song me no wait how's it go me yeah yes i have is that the one where she's says gay pride is what makes her me in different out in the video she's doing different characters yes in the gay trailer and one's like a nerd you might are you thinking of the you belong with me where she's wearing the glasses yep are you thinking she says me in that she does she does you belong with she does a little yodel too no no first of all you're right she's consistent um and she does love dressing up but i was gonna say the man is the one where she's in full drag like she's playing a man oh no and she looks identical to her brother uh but the me music video brother she does austin

and the me music video is when she talks about writing the song and like being so hyped for it she's like you know it's like unicorns and cats and rainbows gay pride all of the things that make me me oh and naturally of course um but the the me when you're like oh what an aggressive me and i was like because that song is an aggressive me like there's an aggressive me it's literally me all caps exclamation point can't get more aggressive than that me and the guy from panic the disco's in it and there's a exclamation mark at the end of panic right isn't that how they write it there's one somewhere i think you're at the end is it at the beginning too i think it's a panic is it panic exclamation point at the disco or is the disco exclamation no it's panic

exclamation part oh mark park my panic okay because i was at first i thought we were doing like spanish like upside downs at the beginning and then i was like oh no my eyes weren't deceiving me though it wasn't at the end it was towards the middle panic i know people love them so i'm really sorry if i offended a panic at the disco following but like i just have to say i don't know that there's any indication i've given you that i would be a fan of panic at the disco so i don't think you can be mad at me i'm not you sometimes do things that i don't like i'm just a casual listener so you guys need to know this thing about melissa is like there are things about melissa that you're like oh adds up adds up adds up and then you unlock a side of her personality

which is multifaceted and panic at the disco does fall into that and that is your affinity for greece live the reason why you like panic at the disco not just hold on not just greece live all live fox live greece but it's also all forms of greece but i think that spans like that's not just this side of your personality like liking grease is like my key but you liking panic of the disco fits in with your affinity for specifically the live on fox musicals they're great and bring them back it clicks this is that side of your personality that where i'm like okay again this makes sense do you also like the band and this one i i cannot stand and i feel comfortable saying this because there's a person in this who like i like his band the new band he's

now so i'm like i don't feel like i should be it should be wildly offensive because it's not personal um to any of these musicians unless one of those musicians decided that this was the kind of music they were making and one of them i have no idea where the band fun don't they have a maybe a period i think yeah that's why i thought about them because first of all same vibe and it's vibe that's not for me they do that song like see panic at the disco has more excuse me say it again panic at the disco has more of a it's more nostalgia in there totally you don't have nostalgia for 2013 yeah fun yeah i don't even think i was still listening to that type of music when fun came on the scene i don't think people were making

that type and then fun said let me make this been around since 2008 so i was listening to that but what were they doing in 2008 were they at home wherever they're from in jersey everyone's from jersey anytime there's a band of boys they're always from jersey or seattle that's why they have jersey boys there's so many boys in jersey jonah's brothers are from jersey but anyways if you want to see melissa's titties shakes join our patreon watch the video version okay you're actually doing that out i love shaking my titties it's genuine it's generating heat it's also fun like boobs are so fun so fun so fun i was watching a clip of nicole bye i don't know if you saw this no where she said she was on top of a dude and then she just took her titty

and slapped him in the face with it oh i think there was no recovery from that she's so funny i'm like dudes like to smack penises why can't they get a slap with a titty also that's what the wrong man because i i think a lot of men the they pay good money to get slapped by any titty, let alone Nicole Byers' titty. Nicole Byers' titty. Anyway, we should get into Don't Blame Me. You're right, you're right, you're right. We should.

What is this show? We're going to give you advice. It is called Don't Blame Me, where we give you wonderful, amazing, life-changing advice. And that's what we're going to do, is give you advice. And so if you want to call in for an upcoming episode, you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. And international listeners,

you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com. And if you would also like, you can send us a DM on Instagram. And so for the written ones, well, technically for all of them, not technically, factually, you have to be 18 or over, have your parents' permission for the voice memo and the voicemail. Keep it under three minutes for the DM or the written email. Keep it under 300 words. And we ask for all of it that you just like include as many details as possible that are relevant.

So if you've got a relationship, how long you've been together, let us know your age, not just that you're over 18. And don't lie about your age because it does factor into like the advice we give. it is different but some people might find it helpful to like you know write out your thesis statement and then be like okay what are the three things that back this up it's like okay this is the situation that's going on here's the quick backstory here's the the history of this or whatever um and if you give us as much information as possible we can give you the best advice possible and that's really what we want to do and if you are sensitive you can always let us know

we don't ever try on purpose to hurt your feelings unless you need to that needs to happen and never in the history of this show has anyone ever been like hey i'm sensitive and they've done something so diabolical that we have to hurt their feelings so don't worry about that i literally was talking to my sister melanie the other day first of all she works on this show and she said that she was looking for because somebody wrote in for don't blame them but didn't include what episode it came from so she was like listening and she got like she meant to just skip through she was listening she's like oh y'all actually are good giving advice i was like been working on the show for like four years yeah and she goes oh okay you bitches aren't half bad she said i got sucked in

and i was just listening i was like okay good and then two somebody had did something that pissed her off and our lives she wanted to say something back but she didn't want to hurt their feelings and i literally said sometimes people need their feelings hurt and sometimes people call in or write in because they need to get their feelings hurt and they know that we are going to hurt their feelings so they can prepare for it you don't want your feelings to get hurt by like your best friend you don't want to get hurt by someone who's like that close to you like you want it to you want to be a little bit prepared for it and i think like you're a little bit prepared for it when it's us so shall we dive in dear eminem i'm writing in because i'm struggling with my

long-distance relationship i'm 21 she her my boyfriend is 21 he him and we've been together for nearly two years we met in my second year of uni because i went to uni in the town where his family's from although he went to school on the other side of the country now i'm living with my parents in london in london while i do my grad program i won't do that i'm so sorry that wasn't have the right accent. No, I know. In London, well, I do my grad program. He's living with his parents. Well, it depends on what kind of London. I do my grad program, and he's living with his parents in his hometown two hours away. The distance isn't massive, and we are lucky that we usually get to see each other once a week. But for some reason, I find I've still been

struggling. We will not be able to be in the same city for at least another year because of my grad program, his job, and the fact that neither of us can afford to move out. We both are struggling with our mental health since graduating, and he's also struggled with chronic health issues, for context. I'm currently in therapy. This has made our differing love languages a challenge to manage. Words of affirmation are crucial for me, especially at a distance, but my boyfriend says he struggles to verbalize things like I love you or I miss you. He said them a lot at the start of our relationship, but as things got tricky with his health and the longer the relationship went, he sort of just stopped. I know he feels these things, but I find it hard to deal with the fact

that he never says them. We've spoken about it a few times, but it seems to be really hard for him and I don't know what to do about it. Any advice would be great. Love the pod. Okay, I find this difficult. Like this is difficult for me to process in my mind that someone that was able to say, I love you before

and they still feel like they love you, but they can't express that verbally because of health issues. To me, I don't understand that. Do you? No. Yeah, I have a lot of questions in the sense that like how long has this part been going on of like he said having a hard time

saying this and then when you say like well he was like it was easier to say that at the beginning like when you first started dating because like I do think I love you and I miss you months in is too much and so then like the pulling back on this when this is the time like you know that's the time where you're more comfortable to say that and like you know not to be gross but like uh matz and i say that we love each other like a hundred fucking times a day like just like all the and it's more the longer we've been together so i think that like i don't know that this and i and i hope this does not come across as like too harsh for you but like i don't know how much of this is an is a aspect of the a different a differing love language and

him not being like in this not being his instinct versus him not wanting to do this because at the end of the day it's not like we're it's physically impossible for us to partake in the other ways of showing our partner love and affection but like once you the whole point of it is like in like yes I think the history of love languages I'm pretty sure is pretty problematic but like the point of it is to know what is how you give and receive love but then also knowing how your partner gives and receives love to then fact not just to be like okay well they give love this way so therefore i just need to know every time they do that they're giving me love even though they're ignoring how i prefer to receive love that's not what it's about like it's your instinct and how

you how you then are like oh let me go out of my way to show the show love to them in this way and it's not just like there's one way to do like you can have words of affirmation and x y and z it doesn't feel like to me that he's meeting your needs in any way like do you actually still want to be with him or is it the idea of being with him because if you physically can't be together you emotionally can't be together and he's not trying to give you what you need then what is the point of this relationship to just say that you're in a relationship these are questions i would be asking myself because you'll without a doubt if you haven't already you'll grow to resent him because i think it is much harder to show that you love someone than say you love someone

and so intentionally not saying that after it's already been said and like i'm someone who like i don't say i love you to like everybody like i'm just and i and even when mox are dealing it actually bothers me when people say i love you to everyone because that carries a lot of weight with it and if you're just saying it to everyone then do you actually mean it and I know and I understand there are different types of love totally I need to know how you mean it and what it actually means to you because if not it's just a word and like everyone has their own different experiencing of like what like love has meant to them or whatever and so like you know if someone like frivolously throws it out after I've met them like once or twice as a friend like to me

I'm like I dare I don't think they mean it maliciously but I'm like oh that doesn't work for me like I and I will like let people say and I just won't say it and I don't feel any pressure to say it back or whatever yeah but like when Maz and I first started dating like he wanted to say it before and like he knew that I was like I'm very trepidatious about this I'm really slow with this and so like he waited and waited and waited and waited until I was comfortable saying it and then once we said it I was I'm fine saying it because that's also how I feel so I think like this reverse timeline of saying it and then not now to me it's like not really about the context of what he is saying or why it's more along the lines of if you take away if you strip this back from like

all of the little details what this is at its core is like when my boyfriend and I first started dating he portrayed himself as a person he is not now and like that the needs and the requirements i had in a relationship as someone who like you know i need that especially in a long distance relationship he showed me that he could do that and then he took it away and he i don't know why and he's not telling me why and it's not changing so at the end of the day like that without a doubt totally sucks him having chronic health stuff also totally sucks i think it is again like i I think it is a lot easier to tell someone you love them than show someone that you love them like that's I think there's a lot more that goes into showing your love and care so choosing to

not do that without any sort of like explanation and like you didn't you said you were in therapy but he wasn't you didn't say that he was in therapy to me this just seems like someone who is actively ignoring your needs and I think that it might feel hard for you to acknowledge that because he did at one point so it feels like well he might just do it again and it's like well it's the idea that I was talking about it's the idea of what you or what he was or who it was and that that that of who you envisioned when he did initially say it and then you started seeing that future with him and he's not fulfilling those things that he promised in the beginning yeah I mean I think that this would like crush me like I would not be able to handle a relationship

like this but even beyond it i don't think this is like an isolated thing because like you know let's say you want to have kids is he gonna say he loves you to your kids like there's just a lot there that like and then also is there is he gonna promise other things and then not deliver on them or is he gonna change like all that kind of stuff so i think that this is just like unfortunately sometimes this happens with long distance relationships or even just relationships in general where the people you grow into aren't uh compatible the same way that you were when you first started dating and there are certain things that like we can grow and change together but there are and always should be like hard red lines that you draw that like this i think is something

that like i would not be comfortable accepting this kind of behavior in a relationship it's half fast and it feels like it's just gonna snowball into other things that align with this ask him why does he want to be with you it's a scary question but if you're if you're confident in your relationship you shouldn't be scared to receive that answer yeah and ask him what he's scared of when he says he's like scared to verbalize do you say scared yeah he struggles to verbalize things like i love you or i miss you and just be yeah why and like practicing it right now i love you i miss you like what it and and i think that this is one of those things like where he might not have it at the forethought of like why he's feeling this way and so he might be like

i don't know i don't know like don't take that for he he has to dig deep on this because i don't think it's a sufficient answer and say like why did you do it before and not now and then ask yourself if you're okay with this forever and are you okay with other behavior like this happening We haven't had a dump your. No, we actually have. We had don't get married. I don't know if we've had a dump them in a while. We need shirts.

We do like a Britney Spears one. Yeah. Dump them. OK. OK, we're going to take a break. Real Canadian Superstore has everything you need this back to school season. Save on lunchbox savers like Ziggy's Sliced Belly Meat products for always $3.75. And get Life Brand Pure Vita Shampoo or Conditioner for $8 each.

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Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. we're back from our break and it's time to get into the next one hi megan and melissa love the pause and excited to finally write in i need advice about getting back getting back with an ex i am 24 she her and just finished my master's he is also 24 he him we were high school sweethearts we dated from ninth grade senior year we were both going to college in different sides of the country, me, UCLA, him, NYU. So we made the decision to end

our relationship after graduation as we didn't see it working out in the long run. We did, however, promise to give it a shot if we both wound up in our hometown. Surprise, surprise, we're both moving home. Well, I already moved home and he is moving back at the beginning of the year. We ran into each other and have talked nonstop since. We literally picked up where we left off. We started talking about seeing if there's something there at this stage in our lives my issue is i've been a tad wild these last few years after only being with one guy i explored my sexuality a lot is this something i have to disclose to him do i need to ask him about previous relationships or hookups i honestly see us going the long run and i don't want this to bite us in the ass if we're trying

to build a future any advice is greatly appreciated this is wild imagine what was it ninth grade eighth grade ninth grade to senior year you're 24 i just just so you know your high school group chats are going off if anyone saw you talk everybody's like holy shit like the way that there are certain couples from like high school if they got back together i would lose my mind i'd be like i would die it's one literally i'm thinking on top of my head but i'm pretty sure they're both married to other people now i don't even remember anybody i also granted i went to high school with most of you i went to elementary school that's true i was looking at the photos from my reunion that just happened and i was shocked at some people that worked together

because they weren't anywhere in the same friend group so i was like oh no interest the way that that happens freaks me when i see people especially if it's like someone who's a grade younger or below and like they're getting married and i go i don't think you've ever even you never you never knew each other and we've known each other all since we were five you've never spoken to each other what do you mean you're getting married that's crazy so yeah almost as it's not as shocking because i didn't really there's this dude that these two people that i was in college with and we were in in the same dorm and in the same club together and he always was like trying to hang out with me and actively like said he hated that girl and like hate it like he would

talk shit about her all the time and then i saw that they're married with kids and i did it raw to that girl who he hates right that's crazy married married willingly married yeah like i was like what happened bitches just say shit i'm like were you just talking were you was this just a lot like were you like truly in love with her from the moment you saw her yeah and you hated her because you couldn't have her at that point but i think he could have if he wanted to yeah but that's what i'm confused about in his own way i'm sure i'm sure he was really mourning a breakup he had at 13 that girl really messed him up that's so weird dude men are so fucking weird i'm like yeah somehow predictable yet also unfortunately i'm still shocked and i shouldn't

be yeah but all this to say i love this i think this is like so sweet and so great i when it comes to like disclosing like sexual like like your past or whatever i do not think even like the first person you had like the guy who was your one before you had others i do not think he has any right to know that over anyone else like i don't think there's anything more important like oh well it's him so of course i know he's also allowed to like this say whatever if he wants to tell you i am a big believer in like you cannot ask if you a don't want to know the answer or b you will not share your answer yeah that's kind of like point blank so like if you were like i don't really want to tell him but like i do need to know how many people he's been with okay you will have to tell

him you have to tell him you have to tell him like and that it's only if you want to know what he's done if you don't care what he's done then don't ask and don't bring it up what why does it matter well if he brings up to me that is oh let's give it a couple more years so you get a little less insecure like it's just like oh nobody has a certain no one's no one's doing that like it's just so i think like it's important in general to just be like you know get an std test before you're sleeping together and like you know if you have i don't know cold sores or something that you like has changed and disclosing anything like that that's about like health wise but other than that i know no and i and i think also like if you feel like you i think it's everybody everybody should

when it comes to health stuff you know if there is a chance of transmission there's not like you know if there's a chance of transmission without a doubt you should share that but also i don't think that you should assume that people are going to be as forthcoming as you so i think you you ask you share you know you share your status and then you ask theirs don't just assume if they don't say anything to you then like oh well we're both fine no say and ask but also like if i 100 agree with that it's my but also as it has nothing to do with disclosing information about your health that should always be done period point blank but then i'm getting back to like if body count is something that is going to bother him is that somebody that you want to be with that's exactly

what i mean like to me it's not even like how do i answer that question it's like oh that was very quick and easy thank you for letting me know that this is actually not gonna work because it's not like a personality thing it is just point blank a universal sign of absolute immaturity right which is not like it's not like oh i'm you know i'm like jealous like we've been hurt before whatever all of that stems to insecurity and like it's an insecurity that instead of like reflecting on themselves and like you know hating themselves and working on themselves so they don't hate themselves they have to hate other people more and other people are the reason why they hate themselves right so like that is just like i don't think there's any room for that so but also if you

want to know ask yourself why you also want to know because like to have it at the forethought but like you know you can like if you're like if you've been together forever and like you're at you ask because you're curious and that they ask you because you're like oh where'd you learn that move yeah like but when it becomes like i think saying like that stuff like how many people you've slept with early in the relationship to it no matter what will come across like a deal breaker it's like i need to know before i make another decision and i'm like as opposed to like it coming up like two or three years into a relationship just being like you know i think like montage watching love island and we were like seeing what the and like that shit's crazy

because the guys will have their body it'll be like 120 and then a girl will be 13 and the guy's like I can't even like you I'm so disgusted and I'm like I'm so sorry might I teach you some basic arithmetic you have 120 12 less that's 12 is less than 120 but they're like disgusted by that because it's so different it's like like when it comes up like in that context I still don't even know what mine is like and it's not even like I did at some point I think like I it's not that I yeah one at some point I knew yeah but um like sometimes I'll be like oh yeah I forgot about him and it's not even that mine is that high it's just that it doesn't matter I logged onto Facebook one day like six or seven years ago and someone popped up and I said I fully forgot that that man had

been inside of me I forgot that man existed and then I was like what number is that like and I was like was i counting that as someone i didn't remember what what it's just it's so inconsequential but i think i think and i don't want to read too much into it i think the reason why you're worried is i think you are a little bit curious about his or you want to know if he's been in love with somebody else because you know i've always thought that like a number that actually you could read into as meaning a lot more is like as opposed to 120 people one one and you're like just just one and then you are you're like oh yeah only one time and it's like no no one person at that multiple times and I'm like I would rather I would rather your stats like how you slept with two people

a thousand times to me is like that's much more indicative of like what you have been doing and your relationship emotional yeah then like oh i slept with a hundred people one time and half of them 90 of them didn't finish like that it's like you know so i think like ask yourself what if you are also curious about his what you're trying to glean from that but i i literally ship this so fucking hard yeah and i love this i want to know what happens such a rom-com i know i had a guy that it's not even the same thing not even close but kind of telling that we had a flirtationship when we were in college but never did anything because i had dated his friend and then yeah and then we both were in la together he's still here he is but he's married but like it was more like

let's just he blew my back out for about a week straight and i was like i'm gonna never again then he said it was great it wasn't somebody i wanted to be in a relationship with but he was you had years of penta flirtation sexual energy yeah i like he was really hot and it was kind of like we just he invited me somewhere and you both knew and we both he literally it was like a thing like we looked at each other he picked me up like literally picked me up and then we were getting drinks and then he grabbed my ass and i was like great loving this yeah we're setting the groundwork for what's gonna happen and then we left ditched all his friends didn't even say it was leaving that's how the best walks back to his place holding hands the whole time and then

it went down and what i like about him was that he was both a gentle and rough lover and at one point during our breaks he just went and got me some water and a slice he sliced up a banana and just gave it to me and took a little nap and then back at it he needs some potassium that's funny i'm actually pretty sure that they recommend potassium for like lots of sex like it just like helps with i don't know but like yeah the man's experience he knows hey good for his wife i'm sure they are very happy yeah sexually and if he's hot i love that i ship it let us know i need i need an update and if anyone else is anything like this i love this shit or if you are one of those people who you ended up with that random fucking person from your high school who

you never spoke to let us know how you fucking got together because everybody experiences that and we all want to know yeah even there was like this guy that was like one of my very best friends like him and i would hang out all the time and talk all the time but there was never anything like sexually even though he was he was cute but it was never anything like i never wanted to hook up with him and then i was looking at something random and i saw that he was dating this girl that was like a year older than us that was on that i cheered with and i was like how did this happen like what is this i always have so many fucking questions it's crazy we're gonna take a quick break and be right back it's not quick don't lie to them let me lie i

love lying hey y'all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust visit wayfair.ca wayfair every style every home we are back from our break and it's time to get in the next one hi megan and melissa i was wanting some advice on whether i should break up with my therapist and if so how to do it already before you give us any of the context yes you can always break up with your therapist i'm 27 she her and

i've been seeing my current therapist for two months two sessions oh okay i might actually change my answer i've been in therapy before but i haven't been for two years so many twos Recently i've been going to help with depression and the death of my dad a couple months ago When I brought up to her that I don't see the point in anything that i'm struggling with wanting to be here at the Moment and I don't feel like I have a good of support system as I used to She focused more on something else. I said at the same time instead of my not so great thoughts She's helping a little but it feels very surface level I also brought up to her that I think I might be autistic and how do I go about getting diagnosed?

She laughed and said oh, you're not autistic and I just said oh, okay and not much after that she said i bet that's a relief which it isn't i just felt like an idiot she realized i shut down and said what makes you think you are and i just said oh it's nothing don't worry i don't know if any of this is enough to find someone else it just seems like a lot of work when she's kind of just okay thanks for any advice you have uh the last sentence to a t yeah it's a lot of work for someone who's just okay therapy is expensive it's time consuming and the only time that i'm gonna to tell someone to like stick it out is if you are not in a financial or emotional place to not be in therapy but if you also leave this therapy you're not going to be able to to to

you don't have the capacity to get a new therapist at that point and it's not directly harmful it's just not the most helpful so for that i go okay we utilize that until you're at the point where you can leave that therapist and have the capacity to get another one but or you're my other one is if you're seeing a therapist and you know you need to be in therapy and you want to be in therapy but you're not comfortable enough to start revealing things yet oh yeah and it takes you time to do that totally but i think that like i really really really respect people and i want to be more like that kind of person where it's like i really respect people who do an intake meeting with a therapist and then they're like yeah I've got four other ones lined up they don't put their

I'm my big issue is putting my eggs all in one basket in the sense of like I'll do a lot of research for like one person or one thing and if it doesn't work out I'm like well now I'm exhausted because I did I put all this research into this I did all this planning and like I build all of that stuff up as opposed to just kind of like casting a wide net and not deep diving into every decision that gives you more options that you might not initially think of. So I think in this instance, like you're saying this, like it's a lot of work for something that's just kind of like, okay, if you are willing and you have the ability to find another therapist and like, and have other intake meetings and try all of that kind of stuff without a doubt, go for it without a doubt, go for

that. Because you know, if you are not actively benefiting from this and you clearly want this, like you want to be in therapy you want to benefit from this and it does not seem like this is working and if you are not like Melissa said if you're not like withholding sharing and it's like I have to get more comfortable if you're you're already there you're already saying it and they're just it's just not the right fit I don't believe that you have to to stick that out if you have other options. I agree. Especially, and I think it's also very odd because especially with grief related things to kind of like hone in on things that are not the really serious stuff you were talking about. Grief is like a very, I don't want to say trepidation,

but grief is a very delicate time for people's mental health. And like a therapist should know that and so that being the context of why you're in therapy and then you having like you know thoughts about not wanting to do all of this and like not wanting to exist and all of that that to me it's like there's not like a that's not a blind spot that's something that she you you know when you've gone through a really hard life altering moment specifically a loss and you're going through grief like that is like a that's a very common thing for people to to feel and so to kind of just like skip on past that is a choice it's not like it's not like a a negligence it's not like oh i didn't realize so and i think you also know that too but i will also

say i think if it is also possible for you to go more than once a month i like i think doing a couple intake meetings with like three or four people and see how that works but starting with something a little more frequent if you can and then working your way down from that but it can actually it can be really hard to get the benefits of therapy right off the bat when you first start going if you're only going once a month because once a month is kind of maintenance and it's right now you just you've gone through trauma like you're you're dealing with a lot and if you've like budgeted being like i cannot afford to do that for six months you don't have to do that for six months but like maybe spending doing it once a week for two months and then doing it

once a month or every other or whatever those things are there but um yeah i think that's great And as far as like doing an assessment for any, I know about like ADHD, but like for autism and that kind of stuff, a therapist can say that they think you might, they can't diagnose you with that. Like that's a psychiatrist or whatever it was. Yeah, but you can be a, I forget what other doctor, I don't know. There's another, is it just a PCP? Yeah. Yeah. so there's diagnostic that way and as far as like an assessment you can like look up assessments in

your area sometimes they can be outrageously expensive but at the same time uh i i think one of the best things you can do is when you're having an intake calling a phone call which i think is so easy with a therapist so you don't have to like go to have a face-to-face all that do like a quick little 30 minute thing just bring up you know i would also like to flag that i have been wondering if i'm autistic do you have experience working with patients like that as opposed to someone who is very dismissive you can kind of weed out that because unfortunately there are there are bad like that yeah without a doubt and like there are ones who are specifically very anti there are like very ableist therapists who are very anti any sort of neurodivergence

and like think that neurodivergence is just there are like literally world-renowned psychologists like like not psychiatrists but like therapists who believe that neurodivergence is just all trauma and like whether that's not just from like oh being raised that way or whatever being like oh you can reverse it with what you eat you can revert all of those things there are people who believe wild wild shit and you have to weed that out ahead of time at the end of the day as therapist is a person. And unfortunately, sometimes they bring their own biases into their therapy sessions. It's important, just like with any other person that you meet, to look and see if this is the right person that you want to spend time with. And I mean that in

any type of relationship, but specifically in this one where they are literally working for you and they're not providing the care and attention that you need then I think that's fine to leave there like I the way that your therapist has been so dismissive of the things that you are specifically going to get attention for to talk about to figure things out I just don't think that that's the right therapist for you no and I to me it's an indicator of a therapist who wants to prove themselves to you so they're like well let me pick up on this and you're like well no no i'm beat i understand what's i i've had therapists like that too where it's just like i know what the like i i know what this issue is but i need to pinpoint because i can't figure out why i you know i know this is

holding me back or i know x y and z or whatever and they're like okay but let's focus on this other thing and it's like it feels like you're trying to prove your credentials to me by being like no no i a plebe could not have figured out what this is it's definitely this other thing and It's like, no, no, no, I have done, I, but I, I need your help. I've reached my capacity of what I can do and I need help with this part. And then they just pivot it. And that is not productive at all. So I am a big believer and a big supporter of you firing this therapist and how you do

it. You literally just send an email and say, thank you for the last two sessions. You don't even have to say thank you. I will no longer be working with you. I'm moving on. Yeah, you, you, that's it. And you don't have to do a you can call me if you have any questions like I'm sorry or nothing. Just make sure it is not the day of the day before.

Make sure I say at least 72 hours before, because some therapists fee scale starts, I think, usually at 72 hours. If they're, you know, really booked up, they'll charge you as long as you do it before that. Ideally, the sooner the better. And you don't even have to read their reply. You can just put it right in the trash after. All right. We're going to take another break. When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel.

While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. search free until august 31st visit ancestry.ca for details terms apply wayfair's labor day clearance is on now right now at wayfair you can get up to 70 off everything home shop wayfair's labor day clearance now through september 7th at wayfair.ca wayfair every style every home

and we're back what's the next one roll the tape hi ladies fucking love you guys down start the podcast every morning with you guys and i'm actually catching up and i'm loving every second of it long story short me and my co-workers sucked my manager's dick in uh the office in my job. So, like I said, me, I'm, she, her, I'm 25, recently turned, and my co-worker, we're going to call her, we're going to call her Sally. So, Sally and I, Sally is 29, by the way, and then my co-worker, I'm sorry, my manager's dick, who I subbed, he is 29 as well. So, me and Sally subbed my manager's dick and he is we're gonna call him I'm gonna call him Dave me me and Sally were we have like a very jokey relationship where we'll kind of just make offhand comments it's very much

like the workplace uh like flirty type energy is what it gives but like I know that nothing's gonna come from it at least in my head and I think Sally sometimes has more thoughts and feelings about the situation than I do but three days ago before I went and saw Wicked with Sally we sucked his dick and like I want to do it again and I'm conflicted because I probably should have led with this he's married and has a little kid oh my god as I'm saying it I can see how fucked up I am but the problem is I don't care my co-worker is in a long-term relationship that they have been in since well I guess like 10 years now they've been together with their partner for 10 years they have three kids, Sally does, and my manager, which I cannot remember the name at the moment, Dave,

I think, he has a wife and a young baby, and we are, like, just very funny co-workers. Like, we hang out outside of work. We're genuinely friends, I think, or I would consider them friends, you know, and we did it. I don't really know how we got there, but we did it, and feel conflicted because i want to do it again and i don't know how to bring up or if i even should bring up that i want to do it again but i definitely don't think it should be at work because like i don't want to lose my job over this shit i don't know this is a whole lot of nothing to say like i did it and i just want you guys to kind of yell at me so that i kind of know that like i shouldn't have done it i don't know don't be gentle tell me i'm dumb i don't know

i'm glad you said that because i was going to say it anyway yeah no there was no there was no but i was gonna lead it with some times people need their feelings hurt as i brought up at the beginning of this episode and this is definitely a moment for that how do two people suck one dick at the same time oh that's easy i've watched enough porn to know that that can happen but i i'm it's a lot of you can switch back and forth you can both be on the sides of it at the same time. I hope I hope this is a kitchen or somewhere where they have the padded floors because your needs. The only way that this is acceptable is if you are a pornographic actor. There is no other reason why you should be sucking your co-workers dick at your other co-worker with your other

co-worker you want to do it again and he is married with a baby and she sally has three kids right sally right like no sally already wrote she got three kids out of that shit no no no no no no no i want you to get a new job and i want at this new job i want you to never ever ever put another person's dick in your mouth that is working for you with you you working for them it doesn't matter i don't want you ever to put a client's dick in your mouth hey i don't ever want you you change your profession for it to specifically involve that this is not an extracurricular that should be happening at the workplace no and this is not something you're craving also did you not get eat out too no the way that you're craving sucking a dick get up get up i am pissed that not only

are you did you co sucks a co-worker's dick but then you also are craving to do it again stand up that's and you're not getting eat out yourself no no the way i'm like get out stop get up don't do it get out where the fuck do you work where the fuck do you because i'm sorry i don't know a single profession i can think of that does not have security cameras at some point any profession any sort of business whatever and like if we're getting a no no corporate doesn't i'm so sorry you're sucking a dick at in a corporate office is it like truly what second of all did you end up seeing wicked after that you just sucked a dick and then you you left wicked and you're like we are alpha bungalow and this is our fiero uh-huh first of all i'm gonna

advise you you cannot watch any clips of wicked i do think you might be conflating and romanticizing this the way that i as women who suck dicks i need you all together i do love to suck a dick but i need you all to gather fucking close if you are thirsting over sucking a man's dick who is not salivating and you're like i want to do that again so bad ask yourself does this man pay your bills does this man get you off i mean he does kind of help pay bills since this is her manager hold up does this man have access to your social security yeah no and that's not good are you a beneficiary on this man's life insurance policy no because he has a wife and a child there you go like you're allowed to suck dicks of people who you're not a beneficiary on

their life insurance policy you are not allowed to say craving that big dick boy to someone who when they die you don't get anything except the memories of sucking his dick in a fluorescent office to keep you warm at night like that is just we don't do that we don't we don't give men that men don't get to have that like oh yeah no no they they no do not fucking give that to him and how do we get here like how do we saying like i can't even explain how he got here actually i i need you to think i need you to go back in that brain of yours and remember how it ended up where pants were off one person's pants were off their underwear off you and someone else are on your knees or however you did where's everybody else maybe they're only through the work in this office

and that i say you work at tcby and that is scary no don't do that there and then you lower yourself to said dick and then you open your mouth and then you put dick in your mouth and then you no where did this man where did this man ejaculate no if you went to wicked with your co-workers jizz on you did you let him give you a cum shot like you and your friend face to face did your lips meet on his dick did you go to wicked with his cum on your body did he even pay for your ticket did you have to get something to drink to wash it down like no also no you said you and sally have like had kind of like a flirty friendship you mentioned nothing about flirting with dave how did dave get here and why is dave not wearing any pants also you said you were all friends you

could consider all of you friends because you're friends outside of work um so do you know their families valid question megan because valid question i'm sorry one of them has three children and a long-term partner the other has a newborn baby and a partner and if you're hanging out outside of work there are two options you know their families and you know their children or b You know that they're absolute deadbeat fucking partners and you are spending recreational time with them knowing that they are abandoning their partner with their children at an empty fucking home. I'm disappointed in you. I'm shocked in the way that this was so casual. Makes me fear that this is this might not have been as random as you're making it seem.

as my late grandmother said oh yeah dick comes dime a dozen there are other dicks out there available dicks is it is it that he has a wife and child that makes it exciting to you is it getting off in the office that makes it exciting to you may i introduce you to role play you can find a man who is unattached who will put on a shirt remember that uh dick pic you got that had a nice oxford a j crew j crew button down with this with the two buttons on the bottom opened up tented dick out yeah like we can we can put a tie on some khaki pants a nice little loafer you can wear you wear a boat shoe you can put a pencil skirt on it might be a little hard to get to your knees you can carry a clipboard yeah you can have a little briefcase like these are all

things that we can do with available people maybe there's a couple out there that's together and they're looking for a third and you're like i really crave dick and i would like to come be your third but y'all have got to take it to the office right out of place yeah get get an mtq get in one of those i'm sure you could buy a cubicle yeah on amazon or timu at this point i'd rather you commit that unethical purchasing from timu yes then continue to suck your manager's dick here and you can call him dave and sally and like what's going on here like this doesn't just happen and you said that y'all like to play around so how did this did you just grab his dick like and play around do you mean suck your titties like play around in what what because like

i don't know how we go from like playful office banter in terms of like just see over at the water cooler today to my i'm choking on your fucking cock like that's crazy and again like did we take precautions in privacy might be exhibitionist and you're worried about losing your job i'm gonna be honest with you i do think you need to quit immediately before you get fired yes and also if you care about this man at all you need to quit before you get fired because not only will this man if there isn't like pictures or whatever all of this shit he will also very very much get fired everybody's getting fired you get fired she gets you all get fired everyone's getting fired everybody's wrapping it up and then y'all are like okay now we can just

suck dick all day long until we find another job no you and like you're not friends with these people anymore Melissa I just thought about this is you suck dick after he spent a whole day at work maybe it was in the morning maybe it was fresh no but they went to wicked right after or maybe or maybe maybe he just got in for his shift we don't know maybe she likes to let it no you know that's what I was leading towards you know that's what I was leading towards and I do think there's I do think if you're if you because then she's like oh gotta get back to that cooking in them draws all day because she is craving it i promise you there are other men with sweaty balls yes you can put in your mouth yes this is so bad and it's also so bad because not only is it a power

imbalance because he is your manager he is the reason why you're not supposed to sleep with people that you work with and they talk about the power imbalance is because they can extort you they can fuck up your career they can fuck up your money they can fuck up your promotions they can withhold things over your head all of that shit and you're like he would never do that would you have two days ago have said you would have sucked his like there is just i think i think i think and that's why i do need to know about this for a while quote unquote friendship and also i can't imagine just like hanging out with you you as a megan no melissa i've already thought about that and i can't i can't even verbalize we're just like yeah you see the dick over there

let's go tag team it the way if you said that to me i would go hold on i'd grab a zip tie i'd get your arms and your legs and i would call for backup and i would go she needs help something is incredibly wrong i'd bring you to the hospital and i would say run an ekg an mri and a cat scan something has happened to her i would think i'm in the new freaky friday i would go who is this this is fundamentally so fucking crazy and how do you bring up like wouldn't it be crazy if we just like sucked your dick what like did you i'm done i have nothing else to say the thing is i have so much to say but i have nothing else to say and was this the first time you saw his dick and you said look at that dick let me put it in my mouth that's that dick look at that dick look at

ruined my favorite quote that's why we gotta move on i'm we gotta be done don't do this again quit your job don't fuck married close your legs to marry me and close your mouth to married men and to your friend and let's get new friends if we want to have this excitement we role play with someone else that is not attached unless they are a couple. And this is consensual for everyone. Other than that, never doing this again. I need you to stand up so straight.

I need you to forget your knees bend. I need you to forget that you... And then she's like, and then I had him stand on a counter. And I promise you with every power of my being, I will telepathically make sure he falls off. Like, just no. Like, figuratively and literally,

i need you to i need you to get off of your knees in the year of 2024 you're going to be simping lusting after a a a cock that has already has all their benefit beneficiaries claimed for what for free this is not how i thought we would be mid-december this is not a situation that i ever imagined in my mind this is not what i thought when the call started no this shocked me to my core this is also the first time i think i have been utterly blind and didn't even read the summary in like years i'm mad that melanie did not prepare me for this but i'm also not no this was it was so honest and earnest our reactions if you want to see them go to patreon go to patreon the uh similar to the caller our mouths remained open like it was there was a drop

and then there was a a gape and i didn't know my mouth could even open wider than it did and then you kept saying more and it was but the thing is my cat sucked up oh the way that it became like an inverted whirlpool like it was like i i it has been sealed plugged well anyone who works in hr and you want to give your two cents go for five right don't blame them but unfortunately you actually do have to let us know where you work and you have to let us know how this happened i have sucked a dick at work but he was not married not in any type of relationship and also the business was closing down here i was and i also got my cat ate so like the way i can defend anything when it comes to my

friends i was like already my head thinking i'm like well you don't still work there so it's fine no and also the business was going it was like he literally said to me easy i've been fantasizing about this and since we can and since and since it's the end of the world and i said but yeah just the idea of like sucking a man's dick and then craving it no and then just being like okay bye and he just goes on he went home to his wife and baby the ego that when you give when you do that format like i don't that meant that that's a dangerous man we need to knock them down we don't need to suck them up oh my god also do you think sally even enjoyed it from other it sounds like sally was way more into you i was just along for the ride and sally's like good god we're

sucking this dick and then we're going to sleep with it and i think it's you sally put it sally could eat you out and i'm gonna tell you right now if your co-worker not your manager sally ate you out at work and then you went to go see wicked you know what i call that a really sweet date you got this not a fucking date nasty homewrecking would have been homewrecking with sally yes but it is different i forgot is sal was sally is so yeah sally is in a long-term relationship relationship three children yes yes yes yes yes sally's been with somebody since she was 19 yeah and i do have a little more grace for that not a ton um yeah turn your heat on you're literally shivering out loud when we go to the next episode oh my god we have another one

yes we do i'm gonna kill myself continue sorry i mean i don't i don't think we need to do uh but am i wrong i i need to leave it on this what that's the wrong podcast i don't think we need to do a don't blame them i just want to leave it on this me too i do want to crawl into a hole and hibernate and my legs are crossed also they're swinging because my feet don't reach the ground my arms are folded also because i'm cold but also because i'm like folding into myself and i just want to be done with this like it's time to move on i said that five minutes ago we're done we're done everyone the episode is actually fully done like i this is we can't do more um we have to process this and i think you also deserve to process this because i think if we moved on you

would have to pause the episode and take a breather because it's a lot to process so that's uh give us a call for an upcoming episode send us an email write in this updates we have merch buy our merch it says therapy on it might i implore you go to fucking therapy please go please don't suck any any dicks that haven't have been already accounted for don't don't suck a spontaneous dick with strings like don't do that join us tomorrow for i can't even say the name no i can't either for ff monday for what am i wrong you are wrong tuesday for see you next tuesday cunty and we'll be back here on thursday for don't blame me i am blaming you you i feel like a disgruntled employee by the way i would like to file a claim i would like to sue for a

hostile work environment because my co-workers were tag teaming, sucking a cock. Dave's cock was in my co-worker's mouth. By the way, I hope to God you don't have security. And they were subjected to watch that. They might have liked it. All right. Goodbye. I'm depressed. this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz production assistance by melanie d watson and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso