Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Co-Worker Threesome

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

This week, Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Being a conflicted virgin Your best friend having a crush on you Adding another girl in bed A man who said you were a sex experiment ... Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Listen to Melisa’s New Show https://apps.apple.com/in/app/pocket-fm-audio-series/id1538433480?mt=8 Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - meghanpodcast@gmail.com (300 words or less) Write in for BAIW - butamiwrongpod@gmail.com DBM Submission Form BAIW Submission Form Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello everybody and welcome back to a brand new episode of don't blame me yes this is a podcast we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice and if you want to call in write in those are the only two options uh or you could just listen but hey we love when someone's like oh my god finally something absolutely horrible catastrophic happened in my life now i can't wait to call you guys like i love that there is can be like a slight positive spin on a tough time maybe i should call in and do a voice for my life you can also just write in perfect maybe i'll do that next so um yeah if you want to call in the voicemail is 310-694-09 or the phone number sorry
Starting point is 00:00:57 you'll go straight to voicemail you don't have to worry about us answering unless like melissa's feeling in a silly goofy mood and the google voice number goes off sometimes it goes off while recording 310-694-0976 international listeners and people who are just you want to send a voice memo instead send it to meganpodcast at gmail.com you can also type out your submission to that same email or you can send us a dm with it on instagram or you can fill out the forum which is listed in the show notes as well as in our bios on social so for all of those you should be over 18 tell us how old you are it is anonymous minus your age um but if you want to like tell us the the the the names of these people do so in a way that's not actually real names lie lie and
Starting point is 00:01:47 don't lie for the rest of it be honest and be truthful because we don't want there to be holes in the story because we're brand new to the story most often yeah so please not just like be truthful but give the full story yeah because the context if your context is important we agree include it include it and like if you hate someone or it's like oh we've got a bad relationship give us examples why like the the thing i would say is like you know format it how you would a how they teach you how to do it like a paragraph in school of being like give us your thesis or like a essay give us your thesis give us your evidence to back that up and then end it with what you're looking for some advice on um and we do our best to help you we we want to help we just
Starting point is 00:02:37 don't want to fill in blanks for you because we might be filling in the wrong information yeah what if we fill it on and you're like wow that made it sound so much worse than it is how are we to know how is anyone to know so submit and we can't wait to hear from you and we want to help you out and always you can always tell us if you're sensitive we do keep that in mind all right you ready to rock and roll party on so first up i'm 18 in my first semester of college i have a question about sex that has been stressing me out okay well you're 18 and I'm a little stressed you're asking me a question about sex I've been dating for I've dated my boyfriend for almost a year now he's a senior in high school back home while I'm living
Starting point is 00:03:16 in the dorms and we've managed to keep things strong so far we love each other and talk about the future all the time but I really feel conflicted about taking the next step I'm a virgin and I don't feel like I need to wait until marriage but I also don't feel ready yet I want my first time to be with someone I truly love and see a future with and I do feel that way about him but there are other factors in my head we're long distance now I'm adjusting to college life And I don't know exactly how our relationship will look a year from now. We've already decided nothing will happen until I'm on birth control. But even then, I get mixed signals from myself.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Sometimes when we're together in the heat of the moment, I think, yes, I could do this right now. But then 10 seconds later, my brain kicks in with all the doubts. You're not on birth control yet. You just started college. You don't know if this relationship will survive the distance. Like I'm stuck between desire and hesitation. Everyone always says you'll know when you're ready, but that feels like empty advice.
Starting point is 00:04:01 How do you actually know? Am I overthinking or is it normal to feel torn between wanting it and not being ready at the same time? i'd love any advice you can give me don't have sex with them you're in college first of all get on just get on birth control i think that is that might be if you're ready to have sex but you're just like i don't know but then i'm like then you're like i i am but but i'm not on birth control get on birth control part of me thinks you're not on birth control is because you don't want to have sex yeah yeah like when people give you the advice of like oh when you know you know
Starting point is 00:04:35 that it isn't actually empty advice you just you're not ready because you don't like you don't know like and that's like it's like well okay well this is how it's supposed to feel like sometimes i feel ready that's not what they mean by like when you know you know it's like there won't be that like doubt there won't be those like stipulations or those things that you're like well or and you won't create these like false barriers for yourself because birth control is not a false barrier like yeah be on birth control before you have sex but like the fact that you're not on birth control when you could be ready yeah yeah so if you actually are like i don't know but i'll i know i if i'm in the moment that i want to get on birth control i think that takes out
Starting point is 00:05:18 and then that way that's one less thing that you have to worry about and then i think then you will actually the empty advice of you know you know it will actually be you know you know also like i think you're putting too much pressure on sex about quote-unquote losing your virginity that's it's just having sex that's the thing it's like there's so much build-up build-up build-up it doesn't have to be so much build-up yeah but i think if you tie a lot of importance to it then you should listen to that like you should listen to yourself being like okay well you know i want this to be with someone i have a future with and all that kind of stuff it's not that i want to wait till marriage i would ask yourself the question like so then what are what's the
Starting point is 00:06:02 alternative like if you're like wanting it to be like someone you see a future with like what is the qualifications of that or are you not going to feel secure enough until you're engaged until like there's just this idea that like i don't know i mean i i don't want to say that it's like false expectations but like sex is it is just sex but like emotionally it can change yes things and it can make that it just makes the stakes higher and like if it's one of those things where it's like oh if i have sex with this person am i gonna be devastated afterwards when we break up more so than i would have been if we had not slept together to me that's what when people say like if you know you know it's not really yes it's about the relationship but it's more so about
Starting point is 00:06:46 like your own like emotional capacity and well-being of being like are you gonna be okay for this happening if you're like well no i would never be okay with that then you're not ready to have sex like you have to to know that like having sex with someone does not make the relationship more or less serious like it is fundamentally just sex and how I view sex is like you should want to do it the person you should be with should want to do it and the way that you feel about each other and this is just my own thing like you should just you should you should care the same amount about each other whether that's being in love to hating each other to liking each other whatever it is you should just be on the same page with how you feel about them and that sex can't
Starting point is 00:07:30 have strings so i also like to be perfectly blunt with you i think having sex for the first time with a long distance boyfriend who is in high school where you are in college is like not the thing to do and also like if you're still together do you not see a future within yeah i just because that's a right back to us in december yeah like there's there there's just like there's no i also think that if you've been together for maybe this is my thing if you've been together for a year and you were in college in high school together and you didn't have sex having sex once you've already left for college i don't think emotionally because like you probably have like i don't know if you went to college with like friends from high school but like you're in a new place like emotionally it
Starting point is 00:08:20 is just like you're getting your footing and then to do something that like would make potent like a potential breakup down the road like just like much more painful is just like i think like reckless with your own emotions yeah like is he planning on coming to college with you again that means that you're seeing a future with him so then what i don't think it it might not be him yeah and i think if you the only time that you're like yes is like when you're in the heat of the moment to me that's not yeah that's not really your real that's hormones yeah that's like that's like being turned on it's not really about like him and if like 10 seconds later like you're you're you are thinking something else like that's i
Starting point is 00:09:10 think the voice that you need to listen to versus just like urges and instincts and yeah i just wonder because it's like okay we've been together for over a year is he the one who's like kind of pushing the sex and like okay we've checked the box been together for a year you're in college now i want to have like a girlfriend who's in college like i've had like you know that's an expectation of sex and all of that so i just think that this is not if you know you know still applies and like right now you just you don't know and that's the answer so get a vibrator well actually get the rose no that's too get something that's just gonna cover your clit and i hope you have a single not or at least don't do in your roommates there yeah do not i mean obvious
Starting point is 00:09:57 some people some people that's weird all right well we're gonna take a break and when we get back we'll get into the next one wayfair's labor day clearance is on now right now at wayfair you can get up to 70% off everything home. Shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. We're back. All right, here's the next one. I've been dating my boyfriend who's 23 for almost a this person is 23 she her we live about five hours apart since i'm in grad school in chicago and he's working in st louis but we make it work honestly i've never felt this way about any way
Starting point is 00:11:03 anyone before he's kind he makes me feel safe and after a history of really toxic relationships it feels like i finally found something real here's where things get complicated i also have this close friend named mark who i've known for years he lives out of state we've always been a long-distance friendship, but he's the kind of person I can tell anything to. He knows about my messy breakups, my family drama, even my embarrassing crush phases. He's been like my emotional safe place. Out of nowhere last week, Mark confessed that he has feelings for me. Oh my god, out of nowhere? Seriously. Okay. I didn't see it coming at all. Oh my god. And now I feel stuck. I really value him as a friend and I don't want to lose that. But I also
Starting point is 00:11:55 know if I tell him, no, it's going to change things between us, maybe permanently. At the same time, if I tell my boyfriend about Mark's confession, I know he's going to expect me to cut Mark off completely. So I feel like I'm standing here trying to protect two really important relationships. And no matter what I say or do, I'm going to lose something. i do want to keep mark in my life as a friend is it even possible to hold on to a friendship like this once somebody admits that they have feelings any advice would help thank you so much mark knew when he told you he had feelings for you then it would change your relationship and he went out on a limb for that i think you being shocked that he has feelings for you i can't with
Starting point is 00:12:38 that like for real i want to know how many like red lights you've driven through you've run how many stop signs you haven't stopped at because like i fear you are deeply not perceptive because like with before you even got when you're like i have this friend mark and i'm like okay mark's in love with you for sure this whole thing of like have you ever seen a rom-com like have you ever read a book like i don't think that this is ridiculous that he said this to you nor do i think it's ridiculous that he would have these feelings because like it really does sound like you know he's been the friend she's had all along right because the last man that i also was friends with in this sense did we end up getting together yes we did also did he have a girlfriend at the
Starting point is 00:13:30 time when we were doing all this like just talking never crossed any lines but very much spilling guts things yeah it happened because you become emotionally attached to that person yeah i do want to applaud you though because both these men are long distance so you have great communication skills i wondered that i was like this is highly impressive like i hope that you you you get to work from home if that's what you want because like if you're being forced to go into an office like you have you bitches don't know what i can do over wi-fi and a fucking stable connection yeah the relationships i can foster i'm also wondering i'm not trying you didn't ask this and i'm not trying to read too much into what the information is that has been presented
Starting point is 00:14:19 but are you planning on being in the same city as your man at some point great question because where are or are you just like one of those people that are like he can be over there and i'm gonna be over here and do you keep all your relationships at a distance that's a really good question i didn't think about that also where in the world are you and where in the world are these men because i would she's in chicago and then her boyfriend's in st louis and that's how far away is i think they're like maybe five hours i'm making that up but okay that sounds that sounds right then yeah it's a four hour drive four and a half hour drive right now where there's traffic five hours apart that was i'm sorry it was in there but my other question is like where does mark
Starting point is 00:15:14 so you said i've known mark for years to me that sounds like high school or middle school that sounds like hometown that doesn't sound like college to me because i don't think you'd phrase it like i've known for years unless you're just very much an old soul so i think that like you know not to be like toxic and like ship something that's like not your relationship um but i do think that it's naive to think that you someone who has been your like emotional safe place that that there is no like other kinds of feelings there just in general from either side of you but like like Melissa said like are you planning on moving towards your boyfriend is your boyfriend planning on moving towards you or like ultimately do you see yourself settling down where you grew
Starting point is 00:16:05 up and like does that put you closer back to Mark because at the end of the day a you should have seen this coming but unless they were legit like childhood friends and it was never like this person feels like my brother well okay i would say you're right i think if you if you would refer to him as your emotional safe place like through high school but i think if you would still refer to him as your emotional safe place at 23 this far long distance i would say like there there's something there especially if it's been this way for like this long like and you not at any point ever referred to him
Starting point is 00:16:45 as like he's like my brother which the really close guy friends that I have if I was writing this about them I'd be like sorry let me write this really quickly between vomiting everywhere because my brother now
Starting point is 00:16:59 wants to participate in incest and not only do I have to shut him down I now have to kill him like it's like the way that I would talk about this would be so different so to me this doesn't i think probably like subconsciously this isn't as much of a surprise coming to you but i unless
Starting point is 00:17:17 you're just so not attracted to him and you're like i never would see him that way and then you're so kind for not telling us that you didn't mention it yeah then you're being like very very kind of in this but like if he's telling you his feelings for you it is because he cannot maintain a friendship with you at this point like that's just what that is because like lots of people can fall for their friends and like not say anything about it continue the friendship but the same advice we give when someone like wants to possibly ruin the friendship or risk the friendship it's like only do that when you're like the friendship is already ruined and i either i'm ghosting and this person's never gonna see me again i think i got hit by a car and like bye or i have to tell
Starting point is 00:18:03 then they're like i have to i have to shoot my shot because i i have to be done with this either way either i have to be done with the fact that we're just friends or i have to be take it like a step away from this friendship so i don't really think it's within your control to maintain both relationships and like if you're not into mark that is like it is what it is you're not rocking with mark if you're not rocking with mark mark's gonna find someone who's rocking with him yeah so i mean if you don't want to there's no way of doing this without hurting his feelings because he has feelings for you so just say i'm not in i really appreciate our friendship and um i'm not interested in pursuing this any further past friendship and then i was gonna say i don't
Starting point is 00:18:56 know that you don't have feelings for mark like you never actually say that to me it sounds like this is a possibility you would like to keep on the table maybe not right now but in the future and like you just don't get to make that call because it's like no matter what i say or do i'm going to lose something so because well i think it's because if she says something to mark and he says um okay and he's like i can still be your friend but then she's like now i have to tell my boyfriend and i'm scared that if i tell my boyfriend that he that mark has feelings for me then i'm gonna lose my boyfriend because he wouldn't want me to stay friends with him yeah would you ever stay friends with someone who still had feelings for you or
Starting point is 00:19:47 that make you feel weird it made me feel weird me too so that's but i feel like because she has everybody at a distance it just makes it easier true because like i don't i i would feel so uncomfortable and like not that it would like discount our friendship or anything like that and like i wouldn't feel like but i would just feel bad i would also feel like i would have to walk on pins and needles because i don't want to give them the wrong impression about something i might do or say where it seems like I'm leading them on yeah and like I don't I don't know like I wouldn't want to be too over enthusiastic when they talk about someone that they're dating but then I also wouldn't want to talk about my relationship as much like I would just read
Starting point is 00:20:35 into everything because I'd be so conscious of how it was making them feel so I mean like maybe it's like so toxic of me that like your boyfriend like sounds great but also like you know i think because mark has always been a friend to you your boyfriend probably has also picked up on the fact that mark likes you and that's why you know that if you say something because he's probably already brought it up you didn't tell us that already said he's already brought it up before and you were like no no no he's my friend it's like actually he does like me yeah and like if he really is that like super close friend of yours if the friendship is meant to like be lasting it will find a way to come back at some point
Starting point is 00:21:31 but ultimately like it could have just run its course and it sucks but yeah but i think if you were trying to this is so toxic of me and you just said you got out of toxic relationships and here i am encouraging you to be just a little more toxic but i think if like you were like this is just not the right time for mark like i picture myself with like he's who i picture when i'm farther along in my life he's who i picture all of that stuff if that's what you have like thought or if you've ever considered him in that spot but it's just not the right time I think then I think you risk it and say you know I let's try it see if it works go for it but you lose the friendship either way you lose the friendship whether you try it out with Mark if
Starting point is 00:22:20 you're into him or if you don't you don't get to make the call to stay friends because right now he's not you're friends with him he's not friends with you he likes you and also how does it feel to be so powerful like this just must be like like damn i got two men in different states who's a better apartment but good luck with grad school oh my god imagine this on top of grad school wait yeah also this is giving me rom-com vibes this is are you a virgo or a capricorn those are The two I'm feeling. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:02 We're going to take a break. When we get back, we'll get to the next one. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair.
Starting point is 00:23:25 With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. We're back and it is time for the next one. I'm 24, she, her, and I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. Everyone's at this year. And things between us are really solid.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Well, I feel like I've been getting these ones on purpose. We talk a lot about our sex life. I'm nervous. And one thing came up recently that is we're both curious about having a threesome. Neither of us have ever done it before, but we both agreed it's something we would like to try at least once. For me, I'd feel more comfortable if it was with another woman. I think... Can't relate.
Starting point is 00:24:08 I think two guys would be overwhelming. I can balance the checkbook, you know what I mean? Overwhelming, yeah. Come on, I've got... I can multitask. And not really what I'm looking for, but adding another girl feels like the right balance. The problem is, I have no idea how to actually make it happen. I suddenly can't read again.
Starting point is 00:24:28 fuck there's a girl who i work with who i think could be a good match she's fun flirty and honestly she dropped a few comments here and there that make me think she might be open to something like this but i have no idea how you even start that conversation without making it weird or risking the friendship we already have like how do you go from do you want to grab drinks after work to hey want to join me and my boyfriend in bed without being super awkward i've read online that some people use dating apps specifically for this which sounds safer but i keep coming back to my co-worker because i already know her and trust her at the same time i don't want to cross line at work and ruin things ruin things if she's not into it is there a right way to approach this
Starting point is 00:25:02 without making it messy no no by the way this is where you play sexual harassment you want to fuck your co-worker like don't don't just say it's because she's safe like you're attracted to her you want to fuck her let's just admit that doesn't even need to be there let's just admit that first you're attracted your co-worker second do you plan on quitting your job anytime soon does she plan on quitting the job anytime soon because that's the only way you move forward with this no but i i truly think talking about and proposing a threesome to your co-worker i do think it constitutes a sexual harassment that's what i'm saying you need to the only way you can proceed with this if you stop working today yeah i'm not even like worried about this being like
Starting point is 00:25:49 awkward or messy or ruining the friendship like i am i'm quite worried about you getting fired mm-hmm yeah yeah so the way to move forward is to quit your job maintain a friendship and then be like i want to fuck you that is how we move through this i have to say though how much do you like her as a friend versus like how much do you are you just like attracted to her because if you're attracted to her quit your job quit your job for the threesome and go for it if you really like her as a friend i cannot stress to you how having the first threesome of your life with your own like your year-long boyfriend with your friend is such a horrible idea no because like a lot of people talk about like liking three like liking that idea and as soon
Starting point is 00:26:39 as you get there not enjoying it not fun not what they want to do and now you have a friend there who like is yeah so when i was in college this guy that my best friend was talking to was like i'll fly the both of y'all out so we can hook up and i was like we were both looking at each other disgusted there's no way that i would ever want to touch her and she would ever want to touched me that is disgusting like that is my best friend that's basically my sister i don't want to touch her and i don't want to touch her man and i also don't want to be i mean they were just like talking they weren't like oh okay okay friends friends they weren't in a relationship i also i want to be in a threesome with two men i want to be the star yeah i can't
Starting point is 00:27:34 relate to to the part of having yeah overwhelming no like fantasy in mind yeah it sounds wonderful i actually see no issue with that yeah but like i understand the like allure of being like oh this is someone who like i'm already comfortable with this person's great unless this person is like oh this person i'm already comfortable with i've already i've already munched down on that box like unless like your comfortability is like she's already eating me out i've already eaten her out like it is not the same thing of being like oh we're like we get along because what you're doing when you're having sex is not like water cooler chat like getting along at work doesn't necessarily translate to that part of it so like I can understand where it's like well I would feel
Starting point is 00:28:19 it'd be really awkward with like a total stranger or someone I'm not comfortable with but like that comfortability I do not think directly translates to the bedroom and also like I don't know I kind of think of it like a first date at a coffee shop versus like a first date at like Disneyland like you want to have something that is like the option to have five minutes in and out leave never see this person ever again versus like going with like going on a date to Disneyland with your neighbor like there is just like the you now have two relationships that you have to maintain after this and I do think that sometimes people think in a threesome situation like if specifically a girl like if you are if there's even a part of you that is concerned about your boyfriend being
Starting point is 00:29:11 attracted to her that you feel like someone you know is a safe person because they wouldn't do that to you that's like not the right way to pick someone because you're now making it about like oh my god my boyfriend you're making it about your boyfriend and like him being this like ultimate desirable person when in reality like yes a threesome is supposed to like it can aid in your relationship but like this is a real person who's the third person yeah so go to the dating apps if that's what you want to do do not pick somebody that you have to see day to day and also like if she says no you still have to see her that's what i mean like there's no way to and also like she could like say no it could be fine and then she could sit on it for two weeks and be
Starting point is 00:30:02 like actually that made me really fucking uncomfortable and then she wants to quit her job because she feels uncomfortable and then she reports you because it's like her another friend of hers is like you shouldn't lose your job because your co-worker made you feel uncomfortable yeah go to the apps go to a bar you both could be flirting with some girl there like you have other options and i need to know what the comments she dropped like a few comments that made her seem like she'd be open to something like this because like i don't know how you drop those like maybe she saw a picture of the boyfriend on the desk and was like oh i'd love to take a ride and it's like okay now you're yeah now you're this is now this is like the rest of the workplace
Starting point is 00:30:44 yeah so yeah i'd be super curious because i do think you are attracted to her yeah and it might be coloring maybe she is attracted to you but like not at work like you can't do that no and like maybe the hints she's been dropping is she wants to hook up with you not your boyfriend like imagine like you you're like flirting with your co-worker and you're like oh my god this is going somewhere and it's like a matt it's like it's bringing your boyfriend to brunch final boss it's like i thought we were gonna hook up and why is a man here yeah don't do it don't do it keep your job keep your job she's explicitly said i'd love to be your third no but even if she has said don't do while you still work together nope what if it's terrible what if it's what if you're what
Starting point is 00:31:30 if what if your boyfriend falls in love with her well that's what i think what if she falls in loves with him and then you got a stalker now my my gears are turning in my head sure i got a writing assessment for a potential job and now i know exactly where we're gonna start perfect threesome turned wrong and it starts at radio shack you got questions we got answers that was their slogan for those of you that were born after it went defunct i didn't know that we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into the last one i'm 23 and i graduated this past summer back in february i started seeing a guy
Starting point is 00:32:36 from my program we were in the same major shared a ton of classes and spent a lot of time together things got physical quickly and i developed feelings for him that were stronger than anything i've ever felt before i don't like how this is starting no this sounds so 23 at the very beginning i asked him if he was still with his ex i'd heard rumors but he swore they were done and said he wasn't built for cheating i believed him but toward the end of the semester the red flags piled up one night at his house two girls two girls casually told me in the bathroom that he was happier with me than with his girlfriend. I froze. When I confronted him, he brushed it off saying we had already talked about this. Later on our senior bar crawl, I pressed his roommate for
Starting point is 00:33:37 the truth. He admitted my guy never broke up with his girlfriend, but was afraid to end it because she was crazy. After graduation, I tried to let it go, but we still text every day. A few weeks later, he admitted his girlfriend wanted to get back together so are they together or not he's addicted to lying he also told me i had started as an experiment in bed but ended up becoming more important to him since then nothing has really changed he still flirts sex and treats me like i'm more than just a friend i still have intense feelings for him but this whole situation has wrecked my confidence and made me feel like i can't trust anyone do i cut him off completely or tell him how i really feel and risk more heartbreak i'm so lost and need advice girl
Starting point is 00:34:33 where are your friends i have to say though kudos to those two random girls by the way why are there two random girls in this apartment um kudos to the two random girls party okay but I want to give them applause because, wow, the way that they phrased that in a way to make to make sure that like they didn't think that you knew. So they wanted to give you a compliment, make you feel good about like him liking you, but make sure, you know, that he has a girlfriend, like just chef's kiss to the. To the work of those women. So I'm taking you, the girlfriend doesn't go to your school. I have a girlfriend at a different school. yeah yeah um i do in fact though i think it's okay that right now you feel like you can't trust
Starting point is 00:35:19 anyone because i do think you're a little too trustworthy i think you you shouldn't even trust yourself right now no no i think i think your picker is off and i think the fact that like you had heard rumors and he like swore off by the way saying you're not built for cheating is his dick locked in a box like what do you mean you're not built for cheating like it's just that's not like a thing but also these red flags are piling up and all of this stuff you're pressing the roommate for truth like what's his social media like have you did you do any of this kind of digging and like if you know a man is lying or like not sharing the full truth with you are you dropping it or are you because like to me it's like oh the whole thing of like well innocent
Starting point is 00:36:03 until proven guilty like i i don't if he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him if there are rumors swirling around that you're a chronic cheater therefore i have reason to not trust you like it doesn't matter how you treated me if that's how people are talking about you outside you we have to solve this together this is not just like a yeah no i'm not i can't do that like i'm gonna go out on a limb and say this man must be really fucking hot yeah i also wonder if those two girls are the ones that started the rumor it's not even a rumor they were like they're yeah i mean you know because she said there was rumors going around and i think those two girls started it yeah i bet one of those girls
Starting point is 00:36:44 went to high school with his girlfriend or like his friends with his girlfriend's cousin and he's like okay i can't like meddle that bad but like i'm i can't just sit back and do nothing right and like this whole thing of like she was crazy you're trying to let it go but we still text every day with love you're not letting it go and also you should be so offended that he called you an experiment like are you et and you need to phone home call the girlfriend what was it about what was he experimenting with what were y'all doing his dick that was locked up he's like let's see if you can break the code like i just you need to find his girlfriend talk tell his girlfriend and you need to not trust this man no like break up with him in things i mean y'all are together
Starting point is 00:37:29 together but like stop talking to him because either way your heart is going to be broken and it's better to do it now than later also you've graduated you never have to see this man again and like you saying like do i cut him off or do i tell him how i feel he knows how you feel telling him how you feel does not change a circumstance or anything because he still flirts with you sex you treats you like you're more than a friend like he there is there's nothing that you could say or talk about your feelings that'll make this be different unless you're like you know what i'm actually cool being the other woman while you treat on your girlfriend and if like that's the case like morally no ethically no that is going to make
Starting point is 00:38:15 everything worse for everybody involved but like if we're just speaking selfishly it is going to make it worse for you it is going to wreck your confidence even more and this man might be hot but he cannot be that hot no and also i don't like how he talks about women including his ex including his current girlfriend and including you please please please leave him alone we don't need to look at him think about him unless it's evil thoughts yeah little voodoo doll so um yeah i'm glad that you enjoyed your last your last semester of school and you got your back broken in and that's all that we need that's what we're taking away a degree and good sex and a new man yep yep yep yep yep yep he's only gonna get worse like you can't even trust him because like does
Starting point is 00:39:11 he go around saying like who are you to what does he tell it seems like all his friends know who you are who are you to them yeah and like how he talks about his ex and how his friends talk about his ex will be how also they talk about like it's just it's not like how he speaks about women is how he will speak about all women and like ultimately i do think you should reach out to her and tell her yeah i think she knows though like if those girls other girls know i feel like that she knows hopefully but it also might be yeah but i think you should still tell them but you've also continued to keep this up for months yeah the senior crawl so i'm guessing that would have been like may it's october yeah this is not don't waste any more of your time no this is just like
Starting point is 00:40:04 self-sabotage about of your confidence at this point all right that's the end of our episode we hope you all enjoyed and my god is it hard being 23 is my takeaway from this episode because like and i'm not making fun of y'all like being 23 was really fucking hard it was it really was 23 oh my god i do and i wasn't lucky i didn't have anybody locked down sorry that's what okay well i can speak from my experience before that i was still 23 for a bit before we started no but regardless like socially like everything at 23 is really fucking hard because like you're on the cusp of like your frontal lobe developing so like you're feeling more mature than you and more rational than you necessarily are like the men social situations friends like
Starting point is 00:40:58 being out of college like settling in and all of that kind of shit like it's just and the alcohol like there's just a lot yeah when I was 22 I was more settled in a relationship but 23 I was wild and out like that was a good fun time and I want y'all to be having fun and not you know being with these guys that don't deserve it and like I just I don't think this is I don't think I and I'm not advocating for like an age gap relationship or anything like that but like no one should date a 23 year old man like y'all should just be looking up yeah you should just be you should just be fucking them and then we get to have that fun 23 year that year of 23 and then we you know start looking seriously again yes and i think between 24 and 26 sure you they can become
Starting point is 00:41:56 your boyfriend but like at 23 they are not fit to be a boyfriend i was not fit to be a girlfriend exactly i was 23 mox was not 23 but like when i dated like oh my god just the you thought you wanted to find it well i mean you kind of ended up with one but like yeah and that also wasn't his trajectory at that time i was like i want a guy who's like 63 he's in finance and then i kept meeting them and i was like god you're dull as shit and your parents are always from orange county which is politically not good for me and just yeah i just there's just so much that you like think that you you just like see the good in these men at 20 you men at 23 i'll put them in the bad put them in the bad category bad bad bad and then circle back get it circle back
Starting point is 00:42:53 let's call it to our other podcast everybody which speaking of no new episode well they already know that perfect because i forgot about our schedule yep you're right you're right you're right you're right my other takeaway from this is toxically really shipping chicago and mark i want i just i i want chicago to be with a boyfriend you do i mean i do love st louis louise from st louis yeah um i think the boyfriend because mark mark had his chance well and also if we're not dropping everything to be with mark mark can't be that hot yeah because like you went from a toxic relationship to a good relationship mark was there throughout all that oh my god yeah mark was like i've been here hell i'm still at the restaurant i'm still here waiting in the wings good point
Starting point is 00:43:46 good point i know that this is anonymous and i'm not asking people to do this but because you can't like attach a photo of these people ethically really you can't do that i do wish i had better faith in all of you and i mean this kindly to cast that who would play them in a movie but we have been burned by the white michael b jordan i don't know that i trust you guys anymore about your uh the vibe the vibe specifically the architectural digest video vibe but i want to know if you like tell me that mark is miles teller and boyfriend is theo james it's a lot easier but hey maybe love is blind okay all right well join us on uh friday for fisting friday monday there will be maybe
Starting point is 00:44:42 an episode of but am i wrong uh tuesday we've got to see you next tuesday wednesday a little break and then on thursday we'll be back for a new episode of don't blame me bye see ya this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan ranks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz production assistance by melanie d watson and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso hey y'all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality
Starting point is 00:45:28 you can trust visit wayfair.ca wayfair every style every home

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