Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Learning to Kiss + Co-Sucker Update

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Not knowing how to kiss An unsupportive classmate Retrieving your nudes Don't Blame Them and an Update the Co-Sucking Co-Worker Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Call In - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hey y'all this is melissa somehow my microphone did not record during this episode i am so sorry you're getting my computer audio this is a great episode though so please tune in but i apologize the audio is not the excellent quality that it usually is enjoy hello welcome to another episode it up don't blame me i was gonna go don't blame me so similar yeah we really we're vibing on the same page that could be our song welcome welcome welcome we're doing an evening recording episode today so get cozy with us if you're watching on patreon oh i was you went cozy i was thinking don't blame me after dark oh good god okay let's see how much raunchier we can get i don't know that we can oh we can don't don't don't dare me do not dare me don't tap me with

a good time we really could we really could um but yeah if you're brand new here this is a podcast where we give you advice we talk shit we gossip we giggle and we gab and you write in about the problems you're having in your life and we do our very best to help you solve them so if you want to call in you can leave us a voicemail 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and if you want to write one type it out you can send the same email or you can also dms on instagram megan and melissa is that what text messages sound like to you in your head deep in a deep deep that was an email that's what typing is on a computer not a phone okay on a phone circle back i don't know i don't know i don't know what the exact vibe of

the sound would be for that on a computer for me it's more like a oh well yeah if we're getting literal and then on i'm talking i asked was it the sound in your head you were just reaching for your bottle and reached and missed it and it looked like you were jacking off that's what happened oh and then on a computer i mean on a phone it's more like yeah it's like a it's like um a closed clump it's like a it's like a little creamier creamy cry of me see after dark where's the cream filling that's the stuff oh my god no not me i'm a good christian woman so um i don't know why she's laughing i'm incredibly religious

i was gonna do the cross i can't i don't even know how which the order is well see if you were doing it for a true catholic they don't claim to be christian even though that they are so you're all messed up girl you know i don't know the difference i mean they are christian that's the thing is they'll separate themselves but there is no separation unless we're talking about ireland that's a little different yeah so actually maybe it's more so along the lines of the christians hated the catholics and the catholics said i thought we were just like you they goes okay don't turn that we're wildly different protestant though even that that's different but isn't protestant christian protestant is christian but when you're talking about the hatred it's the

protestants and catholic so many subsets i know and that's just two of the broader ones well i did i already knew that as a deeply god i'm gonna start going to church fearing woman you are hillsong mosaic what's that other one la has a lot of things that people might not like people like know about you might be surprised la has a lot of mega churches yeah yeah there's a reason why i'm going and it has to do with the fact that this is an after dark episode i promise you and you know what god does want you to get laid i just talked to him her them they well if you want to leave a voicemail you can uh do that please do keep under three minutes and

keep the written versions under 300 words and include all the relevant information we do ask that you are 18 or over have your parents permission but we also need to know your actual age because it does determine the kind of advice we are giving you yes tell us your actual age you could let us know your pronouns if you would like and then give us all the information that you would give to a totally like unbiased third party so that's how we can give you the best advice but remember just because you listen to us in your cars and you're like oh my god they know me if you're our patreon we might know you and like we'll figure it out but like otherwise bring us up to speed start from like zero and explain it all to us and um i'm maybe i'll

regret saying this because i begged for for i would say almost years of telling people if you have extra time yes let us know if you're sensitive or not but then i think tell us who who would play them in a movie and then when i finally got that don't megan no no i just thought of it and i can't no and that's but am i wrong that's off subject i know but we do have an update for this episode but we're gonna save it for the end oh no and it's exactly who you think it is melissa told me that you've been they they wrote to you and i i wasn't i was in colorado at the time and i said i can't even i'm i'm around the youths i'm around these young impressionable children with their molded brains and their soft skulls i can't i can't even

can't even look at this kind of sin as a christian woman all right we're gonna play the first call hi melissa and megan i am a 20 year old autistic lesbian and i use today pronouns i recently got my first girlfriend 19 she her but the problem is i don't know how to kiss i know that sounds a little like stupid and silly but i don't know how to kiss in the same way like i don't know how to throw pottery i've seen other people do it and I know some of the steps, but I can't do it without instructions. It seems like a lot of body language and assuming or just knowing things and situations, and I'm not good at that.

If I knew how to kiss, I would have kissed her already, so I thought coming to you two for advice would be a good next step. I've tried looking on the Internet, but most of it is to just make sure to close your eyes and not use too much tongue, but that's not the advice I'm looking for. I mean, it's good, but I need more. So if you could break down how to kiss, all of the timing, how to position your mouth, how to know when to stop, just everything, that would be greatly appreciated. Imagine, like, a step-by-step how-to with the most details, you know, you can include. And that's what I need, if possible.

Thank you in advance. Bye. Here's the thing. You're a lesbian, so you're going to need to learn how to kiss two different types of lips. and one of them you will need to use a lot of tongue yeah and and and with love we we're gonna have to help you on this one and then send you off yeah maybe coco you could tap in yeah coco's corner coco coco gives a wiki how to eat pussy oh my god is that workplace harassment for the update we're gonna get later oh my god well we also have so many lesbians in our group

who i'm sure would be more than willing to help you out with uh that part um but let's keep it to the to the first step so i know you said you've like seen it in like movies and tv and like that's not really helpful i think because you're i think you need both you would need like you need some instructions and step by step or whatever but like kissing mostly is vibes and like vibes are not really instructional and vibes are something that it's like you might not necessarily intrinsically feel in the same way but like you can watch enough and varying kinds of content of this to be like oh okay this is like this looks like this this looks like this or whatever um and then like i the goal I think is to find like a kiss on camera that you think is like sweet or romantic or that gives you

some sort of feeling and it is not gay so if I'm going to give a suggestion as like a straight woman so if anyone who anyone give a gay suggestion that is like akin to this or whatever I would say that the specifically in the terms of like how do you do this or whatever I think the best timed and it's my favorite kiss on tv but the best timed kiss is a new girl girl i already knew because that i think would actually be helpful to you even though it's a straight couple just because of like the timing of it and like the fact that like he grabs her face like that's the first kind of step to it and so i think like you wanting to kiss her is the is 90 of it like being into someone is like most of the work like i don't know anybody who has made out with someone

that they really liked the kiss wasn't that great and then they were like oh i don't like this person anymore like it's like no no i am i'm that person and i if you really like someone yes and i'm gonna tell you it was actually my first kiss and i'm not trying to scare you but this guy tastes it like cigarettes what's a man he was a boy let's not give him that much credit he was a boy who tasted like cigarettes oh gosh he his tongue no like coated it felt like phlegm was on his tongue he also kept his tongue hard your tongue should be limp oh my god so it was like no wait why are you saying this has me realized I've had this exact kiss that I blocked out of my mind and I also did like this person until the kiss the lips were like a turtle

so I need you one the lips and tongue were a turtle so it was like nasty so have a clean these aren't steps for a good kiss that are just basic steps have a clean mouth yeah don't have phlegm on your tongue it wasn't phlegm because he wasn't sick but it felt like phlegm nasty tongue keep your mouth relaxed but controlled but you have to follow the movement of the kiss the best kiss that i had two best kisses that i've had that were non-relationship kisses because it's different when you're in a relationship because then i think that's what i'm thinking about if you're in a relationship i don't think this is like a make or break no thing they were both where they touched my face i love that one of the guys i was not interested in this dude at all

but we were we had a class together we were doing our project joint project that we had together i was not thinking of him in that way i guess i was giving off vibes but i walked outside and he kind of did the new girl just thing he like grabbed your hand grabbed my hand and then cut my face and very soft subtle lips i ended up fucking him not that day but he wasn't on my radar yeah but that was great and then this other guy he's just like a masterful kisser he was one of these guys that everybody had a crush on yep because he had great lips like and a great personality and he knew how to kiss and i think it's because he really was in the moment with the kiss it wasn't an act he was kind of like caressing with his mouth

and exploring without being too megan's getting indiana's joke he was exploring without being too aggressive with it and he also he did more of a neck hold than a face hold and kind of did like a little peck when he was pulling away yeah well i think like the the slow and steady part like you can have a first kiss that's not a first make out like you can do like it can be like a build-up process to that and i don't know if like it's this is the person you're dating i don't know if it's there, like if they've kissed before or whatever,

but like there's a learning curve when like you're in a new relationship with someone or whatever. But like if you are into, it's like a, if you are attracted to this person,

you want to kiss them, there's like a physiological, there's just like something that does happen. It's pheromones. Yeah, and like it's instinct in that. And so it's like,

I think what you need is like a step-by-step for your first kiss. I don't think you need a how to continue kissing because like, you do people kiss because it feels good yeah you just feel it yes and so i think that like you know i think it's very attractive in general when someone asks if they can kiss you like i

think that i don't i and in this case you know the person that you're with if like they would and like that could also give you like a little bit of courage in that and like you know not to reference um we're the millers but uh you recently saw yeah that i haven't seen all i'm doing is watching box office hits from like six years ago six to ten years ago and jason bateman's like he was his character is talking to like will it is not jason bateman no i know but it's jason bateman vibes what's his name in that jason sudeikis there you go i'm sorry that is not the perfect combination between john krasinski and jason bateman yeah that's the same he has this like bit or whatever where he's teaching don't watch this movie as like instructions

whatsoever um but he's like talking to the the guy about like how to kiss and granted he teaches him how to kiss by him making out with his fake mom and fake sister so not that part but he says i haven't seen that movie in so long i forgot that it was a fake family um but what he does is he's like you know count to three and just do it like there there's just something about and like sometimes when you ask if you can kiss someone it gives you that like gearing up moment so they know it's coming and like you know you can kind of you're like i don't want them to accidentally like turn or hit their head or whatever but like there is no such thing as like i would say like the first time you're ever kissing in general like you're figuring it out

and whether that's the first time you've done it ever or the first time with that partner like you're figuring it out and like like you i've had like if i could call up josh birnbaum right now this guy i made out with in high school where i was like i've never once thought about you and suddenly i won't have sex with you like that was crazy but like we both made out with other people and like we've like had done all that stuff before but like it was that's just like a physical aspect of that and that's not the goal when you're in a relationship like that's not what that is and so i think like you know if you're very nervous about it i would do it at the end of a night like if you're like ending a date or whatever and you like just wanted to get have like a first kiss

end of a date and then just be like walk to the car or to her door or whatever and then just be like i had a really great time lean in and you can give a quick little pecker a kiss or you can pull a new girl you can grab a hand you can have a passionate make out i don't i do not recommend starting with that no no not at all but i'm saying like if you feel it in the moment like i think getting over the oh my gosh i've never i'm so nervous for this i think you have to do go in there not with like what's gonna happen go in there being like my goal i'm gonna give you a it's going to be a quick kiss not going to use any tongue it's going to be the end of a date and then i'm going to go home it's going to so like lay it out like that and that helps like ease you

into like the comfort and like the yeah the comfortability of doing it because i think like if you look at it as like oh shit i don't know how we're gonna have to make out like how do you breathe how do you stop or whatever it's like just do one step at a time because you do have to listen to your body's instincts for this and that's why you're having a hard time figuring out like the exact step by step because it is a lot of it is instincts yeah but you could do just a practice practice on the back of your hand that's what they told us to do in the 90s like every single sitcom i feel like every kid probably did that at some point to practice yeah i don't think there's anything wrong with that no and i've i've made out with people like

the first time that like and i really liked them and it was like oh okay like there i have never had like a first make out where i'm like oh my god i want to immediately fuck you if i a didn't already have feelings for you or like and the only time is like one other one person has made me feel that way but like i didn't have romantic feeling for them and like that didn't change that i had that i didn't have romantic feelings for them so just like thinking of it as something that's like fun and exciting and it's not worth being stressed over because why like it's fun and once you start doing it you'll realize it's fun that's why mormons get married so young because they go this is so fun i want to keep what if i put my dick there too well there's also soaking

but anyways we're gonna take a break and when we get back we'll get into more all right we're back in here's the next one hi so i've been listening to a podcast forever and i'm so excited to finally have something to call in for and also happy new year so i'm gonna get straight to it basically I'm a nursing student and I'm in an accelerated program so as hard as nursing already is it's made even harder because it's super fast paced and basically so I have these two close friends that I made in nursing school and we were like been going through the program together one of them we're going to call her Jenna and the other one we're going to call her Olivia so we have a group chat we talk all the time and everything and this last semester

that just ended, I ended up failing a course. It was really, like, devastating because it means that I'm not going to be graduating with my friends and also just with, like, everyone else in our cohort. So the day that I found out that I failed the test, it was the day we had other exams, like final exams, and I told both Olivia and Jenna, I think those are the names that I use, I told Olivia and Jenna about it, and I literally started bawling, crying in front of them because we had two more exams that same day. I couldn't leave and go home. And so anyway, I cried in front of them. I ended up just having to suck it up because I had two more tests to study for in the same day. And yeah, basically went about my day. That was that. Later on, after I got home, I saw

that Jenna had texted me to check up on me, you know, rightfully so, because I would say we're pretty close. We've been in school together for about a year now. So yeah, Jenna texted me and I responded to her, like, I'm not doing really well, but thank you, you know. And then Olivia, she never texted me, which I didn't take to heart. I kind of was just like, oh, maybe she's just giving me space or, you know, something. I didn't really take it to heart at all. But then it's been, like, maybe two weeks now since then. She never texted me, which was still fine.

I let it go until I got a message from her in the group chat with the three of us. she's like oh this long break like the winter break this long break is making me so lazy I'm so happy we're gonna be s2s s2 is like what you're called in your final semester she's like I'm so happy we're gonna be s2s next semester I can't imagine having to go back to another semester and I responded and I put down I put like the upside down slimy face emojis and then I was like lol I think you're forgetting something and she just responded she was like I'm sorry that was the only thing she said and I just responded that it was okay but the more I think about it I'm like is it okay like how do you forget something like that like this is not a small thing at all anyway

please let me know like I don't know if I should address it to her or if I should just leave it alone so far I haven't said anything but I'm not sure if I want to or not but I think I want to and like the phone call so time you got great timing well well well you know i really try not to see into this whole nursing stereotype about people being mean girls but seems like this bitch is punching in her card pretty early yeah i saw someone who said that like they they are a nurse and they said that they like don't usually subscribe to this belief but they have now really they are a nurse now they're like yeah no no that it's um nursing is to white women what cops is the white man like it's the same vibe and i was like oh i don't think this person's your

friend no i also like i obviously don't know the experience of like you specifically bonded because you're in nursing school together and so like i don't know what you talk about in your group chat but like to me this is like such a pointless message to send like it was even if that's what i'm saying even if you all were even if you hadn't failed that you all were graduating at this time like i just i don't think she'd say that then like i to me it seems like really specifically driven by that point and like as someone who is like forgetful and says stupid shit I'm so quick to be like oh my god I'm a fucking idiot like I'm so like she didn't do that so to me like it's not it doesn't give the vibe of like honest mistake or like oh that like

I didn't mean that because like there is no substance to that message besides that like there it doesn't like what are you supposed to respond to that like oh yeah me too cool like yeah what like it to me it reminds me of like you know an adult writing about like a senior like i've got really bad senioritis like no one's saying that you're just being late you don't you're not talking you're just doing it and so i like yeah i i think that like you know if you maybe like if this makes you reflect on the fact that like has she been like hyper competitive in general with like school stuff or whatever or was she did she used to reach out and like be like kind to you or like are you realizing

like oh maybe we actually haven't had any sort of deep conversations about our own personal lives like maybe you've talked about like you know your own belief systems and morals and like terms of like the profession but like you haven't confided about that stuff and like she just does not have the capacity for that or she has

and then she doesn't for this and then in that case I would say that like regardless she's not being a friend to you she might have been a friend to you at a certain point but she also might not have ever been a friend to you and like that's kind of a it's a shitty realization to have but like it does happen when like you have like convenience friends who like people who are going through the same things as you um and i just think that like the other friend i can't remember which one you said the general

whatever the one who won who did message you and be like hey how are you doing like that's someone who like cares about you and i think like making drawing a hard line in the sand when someone treats you a way that you don't like i think is imperative because it holds that standard and expectation for you for the people you let in your life but if i was her and i saw if you just like took the shit that this other girl said i i would be like what are you what like i would be i would be proud and i would also it would i would it looks very good on you when you do draw that clear boundary for other people so other people know how they can treat you yeah um get out and now she doesn't have to be a convenience friend since you're in different years so

just stop that group chat and have a single message chat with your actual friend yeah also i'm not knocking the program whatsoever but i do find an accelerated medicine program that i would even look at the graduation rates in the time that you were like looking at there's no way that people are being able to do this as quickly as possible in a healthy way yeah so i don't i don't think there's anything bad about you like having to retake the class when you were rushed through it yeah and I bet you so many more people are than you know and like historically have been like that's just like even I went to a four-year university most people did not graduate within four years like and in an accelerated program that stuff's like even shorter so yeah all right

we're gonna take another break when we get back we'll get into another one we're back and it's time for the next hello megan and melissa my sophomore year of college was my wild carefree year that year my college friends and i were very experimental what do you mean by that and eager to cut loose cut loose like footloose one night in particular one of my friends was house sitting a place with a pool she invited some girls over for drinks and then we decided to go skinny dipping a few more drinks later okay a few more drinks later everyone got out of the pool but nobody put their clothes back on for the next few hours we're all drunk and naked posting oh posing not posting

well posing for silly pictures making vulgar jokes and being ridiculous at the end of the night on a dare i ended up streaking up and down that neighborhood street again totally naked not even wearing shoes one other girl ran behind me and filmed my back with her phone i have to say i have streaked so many times with shoes on and when you look back at the photos you go that does look silly but i was very i was like i don't want to step on anything yucky of course especially your feet they're always getting injured in some way well and also i i've got large feet there's a big surface area like they could get attacked i never saw the footage or any of those pictures and nothing came of them to be honest i sort of forgot they existed until recently and now that

i've remembered where i am in my life now i'm sort of bothered that that stuff might be out there it's been six years since i graduated and other than liking a post once in a while i haven't talked to my college friends at all i have an urge to reach out to see if those pictures and videos can be destroyed but i wonder also if it's best to just let it disappear into the past i've just thought about it lately and it's made me feel anxious what do you think i should do please let me know thank you if you want to have them like if you have contact with these people like i have friends in high school who did this kind of stuff who like were like realized when they're older being like oh shit can you delete that thing of me like uh not like no are you

concerned about people like the person who has them seeing them and like someone in their home stumbling upon it and seeing it are you like concerned that they're going to be put online i will say the one where you're running naked i feel like you're fine because you said that they're behind you so if they're behind you no face no case so cardi says so um i think you're fine but the picture ones those are the ones i'm more afraid of but different time but i was going to say but when i was in college we were doing some interesting things no sex but a lot i would say dry humping very much you know that's my least favorite word dry humping no Melissa stop it makes me sick um because that means there's a wet humping and I don't like that

but I feel like other people also want them destroyed if there's somebody that you were maybe you're not close to now but you were very close to at the time and you still like it's somebody that you still could like trust somewhat you're like they don't seem like they're a complete asshole i feel like you bring that person into a fold and maybe they're close to something they were close to somebody else you just gradually bring one person at a time and then everybody's like yeah we're destroying these photos yeah i'm i'm not kidding i i legitimately have had this had happened with people in high school that i knew where they were like talking to me being like do you think it'd be like really weird if i asked this person to like remove this thing that

I think they have and I was like oh I forgot about it and they were like I didn't forget about that like I think they have it and I was like oh my god I think they forgot about it but tell them like no one is going to find that fucking weird at all like it's an at all and I think especially like what do you want to profession wise like is this something that you're like are you a lawyer are you like what what are those things there that you're concerned about and like if it's just the fact that you don't like that those photos are out there in general like that's also fine you don't have to have a reason for it and i think like the photos themselves can be like to ease your mind totally normal totally fine very innocent like we all have like stupid silly

photos of us with our girlfriends like from high school and college nothing wrong guys in there too well there's dry humping so yeah hey girls can dry hump yeah but we weren't so like there's no you shouldn't feel ashamed about there's nothing wrong with it but then there's also like it's not like a feminist act to like not ask them to delete them like you go with your gut like you don't have to you don't have to justify it either way of like is it bad enough to ask no one's going to think you're stupid no one's going to think you're silly for this and i think like the fact that it's another girl who has that like that's great i had a guy in high school who had what how did he like inner like something had happened where i'd like had it's like a picture of

my tits for something that like i think i either like sent it or like i was sending it to something and it was like it and he or he took it on his phone or he like saw me like flashing someone or whatever and when i found and i didn't know and then someone else was like hey he got a photo of that and i was like are you kidding and i was like let me have your phone he's like a drunk 17 year old like no it's like no it's fine it's fine and so of course i tapped on the shoulder the three biggest guys at the party and i said can you do me a favor and push him in the pool here's a picture of my tits on his phone that he won't delete on his camera and they were like sure push him in the pool he gets out of the pool sobbing and i said that's what you did tough

shit you could have asked hey show me your tits and i i probably would have said if you delete i'll show you them in real life if you fucking delete the picture so just like knowing the fact that like it's not a it's not like a skeezy 17 year old boy who has this you wouldn't feel weird or embarrassed or offended or anything if someone reached out if you were the one who had these photos you shouldn't feel that way either even if you haven't talked to him in forever because again the high school thing with someone i know where they were asking someone to delete something it was the same situation people had not talked in a very long time just mutuals on instagram and uh you know everyone would also want that done for them what if the pictures are like super cute

them yeah maybe you get a copy all right well we're gonna take another break and i just want everybody to buckle up oh my god i'm so scared it's gonna be a ride because it's gonna be in multiple parts we're back and this is going to come in different parts as i said we're going to have two don't blame thems that are complete opposites of each other and then a short who is enabling and then a short little write-in from the original caller and then a call okay i'm scared Are we ready? Yeah.

Okay, I'm probably too late, but I fear I have the hottest take ever. You're not too late. You're right on time. You're actually early, TBH. Aside from the guy being married, remember the girl was married too. And they both have children. And they both have children. I don't think that co-sucking your co-worker was that insane.

but depends what industry you're in for sure. When I was bartending in college I did date my bar manager and I did suck him in the office once we were closing together. That being said now that I'm a grown corporate girly I would never do such a thing in my actual office but listening to this story it seemed very like restaurant industry to me and I could totally see how in a restaurant or bar they would have gotten from a to z however if they just were in like corporate finance that's insane i think you're missing the key component where it's co-sucking i don't think it's like yeah if you there are a lot of places at work where people have sucked a dick i've done it specifically co-sucking a dick to marry people who have children at your job as a pregame to

wicked is fucking fun it's fundamentally crazy also they don't work in the industry that you're referring to because they do tell us in the call so they're not in a restaurant bar industry and you know that means that they don't have the squishy mats for their knees actually i think they might have the squishy mats let's continue all right we're gonna get you tell me this is a dentist's office i'm going to end my life well mouths are open there yeah and you can get on the chair and i'm sure you can figure out a way to finagle some i've literally seen porn like that okay next we're gonna get into a don't blame them call i'm scared hi megan and melissa so i am calling for don't blame them and good for the episode co-stucking your co-worker that was

released on december 19th 2024 of this year and yes it is for that call and to the caller i don't mean to sound like a bitch but i'm gonna sound like a bitch because i really do not fucking care what in the actual fuck is wrong with you like where like this fucking scenario that you're in right now like you just you say that you do not fucking care about the repercussions you i want you to realize that you are fucking destroying two different lives right now with fucking children involved two fucking families like what in the actual fuck is wrong with you like honestly and if you do get fired, I want you to know that it'll stay in your fucking record forever.

People were going to be like, oh, she's going to fuck everyone up all the way to the fucking top. She's Lana Del Rey. Fuck my way up to the top. You're not fucking Lana Del Rey at all. And also, as someone who affiliated themselves with their co-worker, I never sucked his dick. He sucked mine. He was beneath me.

Okay, were you inspired by the people who portrayed Belinda, Elphaba, and Bach into being in your home record era? Because it actually tracked them while you were watching Wicked, honestly. And also, the fact If you were in your home record era, I'm sorry. You do not deserve to watch part two because you do not change for good at all, if anything. It's just absurd.

Also, the fact that you called on the week of retrograde, girl, it's going to come down like an avalanche. And also, Mars is a fucking retrograde. Mars being a retrograde means you're going to face war. Therefore, all the karma that you've had is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Like, I'm just sorry. Like, you are just delusional. You are – and I'm sorry. Again, I'm going to sound rude as fuck and a bitch.

and I do not care for the repercussions because honestly you are just I'm sorry this is me but you were stupid you were delusional the fact that you think it's okay and honestly I do not respect people like you because I'm just like okay you were another girl's girl I did not trust you with anything and I don't know like it's just the fact that you I don't know it's just I don't know it's just crazy to me and like I don't know I say get in the fucking job rub an egg all over your body to get rid of this like honestly i don't think that's going to help you at all so i just want to tell you good luck good luck all right two very different opinions very passionate on both ends though thank you both for sharing i do want to let the first person know we i know the

second person knows young children and i do think that there has to be a level of detachment that you have that you have like no nieces or nephews in your life you have like no younger siblings you aren't like a nanny you don't babysit like in a way that like you can't envision this family that you are wrecking i think there's a level of yeah exactly like like you like the concept of that versus like envisioning the you know like the children in your life that you know okay all right i'm so scared so first we're gonna read their little write-in before i play the call guys i have to update you i'm both the caller who lives with my brother and wants to feel more comfy getting it and the co-sucker so i do need everybody to just take a moment to process this

this was the person who wrote in about how they were a little too nervous and shy to have sex in their apartment because they live with their brother and they were like how do i bring this up meanwhile they're co-sucking a dick at work what do you mean you're shy what do you mean you're bashful and timid yeah because i figured this out before they wrote in yep and i immediately text megan i call melanie like i had figured it out and i didn't know if you were going to write in so i didn't want to spoil it but i was like so did you get in at work because you couldn't get it in at home and that's a lot to explain your brother having two people there at the same time yeah my married co-workers probably would have been easier to be honest if you would have brought

them home it probably would have been easier because you could have just been like we're all just hanging out well i also i think it physically would have been easier because you could have been on a bed yeah you each pick a side seesaw but they said they feel seen we're seeing you all right yeah we saw you they also said i'm just now getting around to the december episodes and hearing my voice twice is insane like fucking crazy that i call twice in a month and both of my issues get addressed clearly i went a tad crazy with the getting it on but i will say the end of the year for me but i will say the end of the year for me was for the plot to say the least i hope they didn't hear your ho-ho-ho thing and thought it was after you know i know but now

i want them now to know that i don't know if we said it then you are excluded from that narrative all right you ready for the audio maybe hi i'm the close sucker i'm going to give you more background and an update so the situation honestly just ended all of this takes place between December 3rd until, I guess, two days ago. So let me give you the background. Me and Sally started our job in the summer of 2022. We work at a phone store, a retail phone store. We're both sales reps.

Dave was also a sales rep. He started, like, two months prior to us. He did not get promoted until earlier this year around the springtime. Now he's our acting supervisor. So Sally likes Dave. It's been a little crush. They've had conversations about it, whatever. order. One time I said a comment being like, hey, Sally, whenever you make your move, let me know.

I'll be there. Just because I give her some confidence or whatever. It was a very offhand comment, which circled back to came back. That's how we got here. They talked about that one time. Dave was like, I have boundaries that me and my wife have for me. I can get head from people. I can suck on titties and I can finger people, but I cannot eat out, make out or have sex with these girls. We're like, okay, cool. We don't do anything about it. The day he tells us the next day, he is kind of like, okay, let's do it. So we go in the back after we do our closing duties, and we do it. We suck the dick.

It happens. It's fun. We go to Wicked. After that, Dave goes on a week-long vacation for his birthday, right? We don't talk to him at all. That is when I called you ladies to get your advice. He comes back. We do it again, and then I do it by myself two times.

Sally does it by herself. One time Sally did it on the clock, and I, like, kept watch. It was a whole thing. Then we did it again in his car on, like, a lunch break, And then Dave separates from Allie at some point. And we're like, oh, what the fuck? When they're separated, Allison, Sally, and Dave, like, go all the way out. He eats her out.

It's a whole big ordeal. She's like, oh, that went too far, so she wants to stop. So she tells Dave, like, hey, we need to stop this. I don't want to do anything further. That's on the 23rd. He comes back and is like, okay, cool, you're right. I'm actually going to work things out with my marriage. I'm going to put my wedding ring back on.

We're not going to do anything. Cool. So on Christmas Day, turns out fucking Sally's partner, boyfriend, his name is Tim. Tim looks through Sally's phone, sees the text message of her and Dave in the group chat with me saying that this is done. We're like, okay. So Tim is like, hey, I'm going to tell Allison, so whatever, whatever, whatever. Sally's like, okay, you need to call Dave, me, the caller. And I was like, okay, we got to tell him, like, this is going to happen before it gets to him that this shit is happening.

We tell Dave. Dave ends up telling Allison. Allison kicks him out on the side of the road he's walking down the street and I have to go pick him up I pick him up bring him home and then comes back Tim is like I'm gonna go over to Allison Allison's house and we're gonna fucking light this shit up and it's like a whole thing but it's ended and um they're both broken up I'm in the middle I'm just single and they're having a really hard time and they got cut off so you need to call again no you have to call again but there's so much that happened when you said it start from january 3rd to like two days ago i didn't know

you meant that you were sucking dick every time you're on the clock also you went from not being able to bring anybody home and then bringing home your sucking dick like keeping him like this is his hiding place for now and obviously he was lying because she wouldn't have been mad if this was something they had already agreed on. Also, why are we so concerned with his boundaries and his relationship when clearly Sally was not supposed to be stepping out on Earth?

They're like, oh, we have to respect his boundaries. And it's like, cool. What about your relationship? So now we've got two families broken up. So are y'all going to continue your liaisons now that you've got the free and clear card? Also, why did you keep the text messages? Y'all work at a cell phone place.

You should be smarter than that. Fags. Okay, this is giving T-Mobile energy. Sprint. Excuse me. Sorry. I thought you had a different one. I'm with Sprint.

Okay. Well, I was with Sprint, but now it's T-Mobile, so. Okay. Metro PCS. Yes, Metro PCS. Like, do you have hobbies? Like, do you go to therapy? No, there's no way.

The way that you included your, like, you did this thing and then you said, i'm gonna keep doing this even after you called us and said that was really bad and then you kept doing that and then when it stopped involving you and involved a homeworking of two families and like full penetration you involved yourself by picking up the fucking loser from from his stoop stoop kid you picked up stoop kid and you said on the side of the road it wasn't even the stoop you got kicked off on the side of the road he's full-on on the car like you literally like and like he and then you brought him home like and did you nurse him back to how they do like the fact that either of you sucked a man's dick after multiple times after he said the words

i can't kiss you but i can suck your titties the way that you said okay okay no i can't even finger you from a perspective of okay this is you're clearly lying um but then also but then also um i had to hear you my co-worker say suck titties no i'm out also you kept watch too and that is like that's that's that's like fucking in a porta potty at coachella shit like and this all happened over christmas and isn't that jesus's birthday broken up families over christmas and these kids are young yeah and then we're gonna this is gonna be like forever in their minds every time christmas rolls around this is such an insane thing to willingly put yourself in the middle of and then it's like you're the meme of that the fucking dog sitting with the fire like

this is fine except you're like actually like i'm i'm loving this let me go back into the fire like you need to tap out like tap out so quickly get a new job transfer stores go somewhere else pretend you have amnesia you've never met these people in your life like until you get a new job you don't know these people like this is just so insane i didn't know it could get more insane also planning and like coordinating like did you put it on the calendar like we're gonna suck your dick at this time like i think it just became part of closing duties like it's on the checklist the way that that is to me as i'm just really like as a woman i'm like we we're you're so much like i'm disappointed like it's just like men think this person was numb no no i'm just saying

as like a sucking of a dick as a woman who sucks dick it is my duty when i am sucking dick to make sure that i am sucking dick in a feminist way i'm sucking dick and i'm not enforcing the patriarchy but to like be at the level of like not only were you craving dick then you said i'm actually good like what i said i'm gonna put add it onto my closing duties the way that like you you both have created a monster like this man but i don't i don't i think everybody's a monster though it's not just no i know but i'm just saying that like the enabling of this like of the poor behavior and it's like sure it could be for the plot and fun for you but like when you do that to a man men men don't do things for men the things men do for the plot are scary they know like the ego for

all of this and just like the level of like you don't get anything out of this except for sucking his dick and then knowing that you're also ruining his marriage and his children's lives and you also helped ruin sally's life her marriage the children's lives too it's all blown up i just don't know what you get out of it besides like his satisfaction as well as like the torment and like the creating horrible shit for other people's lives like to me i'm like that is like you didn't what'd you get out of that what did you get out of that ate out you didn't even get ate out no and like it is like i stand by the fact that if you know that somebody is married and then you like still have a little crush or whatever and then somehow it comes up talking about it and

it's like oh yeah it's actually like an american this is and you just go okay and you just take that when you have already fucking said you are friends with all of them you all hang out you know this person to then take it the word and go why have you never heard that from them why have you never heard that if you are going to take this man's word you better hope that you're it's you're in fucking lisbon for a weekend and you're never going to see these fucking people again like you cannot take this man's word when he is someone who is not only in your friend circle you know like you have zero plausible deniability or zero doubt of like if i was his wife i'd be like why the fuck didn't you talk to me it's not like you didn't know i exist it's not like you don't my

number it's not like you don't know me it's like you're choosing to absolutely ignore that aspect of it and the fact that this came from you saying like let me know when you shoot your shot like i'm here for you and that was taken as will you grab the balls while i scarf the shaft like that's i think you were just there for a fist bump for a good luck and it turns out you were there for the fellatio is wild to me because i don't think you planned for that and you should have been able to leave that together i think you were you were there with two people that were adulterers and then they brought you in yeah and like you know you could have said like oh this is actually not what i meant when i said like let me know how it goes also enabled the cheating to begin with

on both sides and you can't call yourself a friend sally didn't even lie and said that she had an agreement with her partner yeah why no one asked sally like this is just like i i can't stress enough like knitting um paint by numbers puzzles staring at the sky is also acceptable do a lingo learning a new language like there are do a lingo too much tongue i don't i don't trust it like noise canceling headphones like something they're like and you're you need to change your schedule and also why was he promoted to your manager when he worked there after you guys why would you this man got a promotion over you and sally and you reward him by sucking his dick please get a new job you're not working in something that is overly

specialized there's a cell phone store on every corner get a new job which is kind of suspicious why do we need so many cell phone stores you know why because they're sucking dick in the back like what if you broke some of the merchandise i'm even more shocked melissa so we're just gonna wrap up here buy our merch meg has it on i just called you meg it's cute it's relaxing it's great for staying home not doing anything she's holding up the pants watch us tomorrow for join us on monday for but our first but am i wrong of the year tuesday we'll have see you next tuesday wednesday catch up on old episodes and then we're back here for don't blame me on thursday and i'm gonna have to pray tonight i'm gonna have to go to church i need i as a good

christian woman this is really testing me thank you for bringing that back all right well don't blame me after dark wow we really lived up to his name good call on doing this last i wouldn't be able to function nope not at all that's all bye this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz production assistance by melanie d watson and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso