Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Men Are Staring

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

This week, Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Not wanting to go to a friend's birthday party Assimilating at work Feeling comfortable when going out Update: Sister's toxic boyfriend Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Listen to Meiisa’s New Show https://apps.apple.com/in/app/pocket-fm-audio-series/id1538433480?mt=8 Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) Write in for BAIW - [e-mail] DBM Submission Form BAIW Submission Form Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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arm up the dog stars directed by ridley scott in theaters friday get tickets now i was just as we were i hit record um i inadvertently was doing my anthony mackie impersonation because it just is natural to me now but did you see the movie poster for his new film no but also i think yes but it's not coming to my mind okay hold on give me two seconds or isn't a tv show i don't know but him maybe i just watched the trailer him in a rosa diaz oh well that's rosa diaz um they're in a i guess a tv show maybe i think it's based on a video game it's season two yeah it's based on a video game season two didn't know there was a season one on this show but the two smirkiest people you know stop stop and then they said who can be smirkier

a killer clown at the bottom that's so funny that is so funny they need to get the third smirkiest person in there george w bush that man loves a little smirk he does he does he's his is more mischievous yeah well anthony's is a little anthony's to me is like he's he's hiding a secret yes and then george bush george is more like i'm up to no good oh he said the secret is the bombs and he goes i dropped them i did the bombs those were me god uh anyway this is don't blame me a call-in advice show where you can get this call-in nobody does it anymore because we made it easier yeah our voicemail our voicemail for the phone number

is full of spam now i don't know if since people aren't calling it's just spam i didn't know you could spam a google voice number i mean it's a phone number it's out there anybody and we have it listed on our website so anybody doing any type of search they're gonna get the number so that exists we also have a google form where you can put a voice memo or you can write in keep it not you do this i don't know why yeah i don't know why you just started doing this yeah started taking my job i don't have any of those um yeah you can call in leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 fill our voicemail with not spam uh and you can also email us at megapodcast at gmail.com or fill out the google form you can type it up there the same way with the form as well as the email you

can write it up keep under 300 words or you can record a voice memo and attach it to each of those things for the voice recording and voice memo you have to keep it under three minutes for all of them you have to be 18 or over if you're 18 you better be calling in about like what should i wear to graduation like please don't call an 18 being like how do i how do i drink alcohol underage don't don't because we never did didn't at all remember that time i was a virgin remember that time when we i actually was at 18 remember that time uh no you weren't remember that time when um somebody i don't remember if they called into the podcast or i think it might they wrote into the facebook maybe about how to sneak weed on an airplane it was a facebook room

yeah and people started responding trying to help and then one person was like ah and i think tagged us and they were like just wanna because like we were in a tight ship over there and they were like just wanna like and i was like this is the last time you walked no no by the way that's a tight ship we haven't let anybody new in that's still a tight ship also we ran a tight ship so it could be self-governing and it is and yeah they like tagged us and we were like yeah no illegal wholeheartedly illegal and like this is attached to your name your picture this is a federal crime that you're documenting on facebook yeah delete facebook yeah i think we blocked them sorry we had to we had to protect ourselves sometimes yeah we're helping you yeah so yeah

i i will always remember i think one of mary's favorites is when like someone calls in and they're like 18 and they're trying to like talk about like where to have sex with their boyfriend and we were just like no and we just move on mary's like still my favorite because i forgot that we even included that that we like yeah it was a little funny where we didn't realize when we had put it down that wasn't but we kept it in uh so yeah um anyways uh for all of those things tell us the problem that you're having and be specific i know that you might listen to us in your car every day on your commute when you're cooking dinner and you feel like oh my god they know me as well as i know them unless you're in our patreon group we don't so give us the low

down start from the beginning and you know format it like an essay give us your thesis give us your like two three examples for us to understand specific examples yeah and tell us what you want advice on and we will do our very best it can be toxic advice it can be productive advice we usually try to give you both at least if if if toxic advice applies we want to help you out like we're not trying to be sarcastic yeah here to help all right shall we get into the first one i think we shall hi megan and melissa you spelled my name wrong witness for context i am she her 31 one of my closest friends she her 32 has decided to host her birthday at an amusement park in the middle of August. Originally she was thinking a dinner so this has caught me off guard. I am also

immediately nervous as the usual level of thrill I can usually handle is Disneyland and even then I can't do Space Mountain. The park she's chosen is a big thrill park. I don't really do roller coasters. I can't really do the heat sun for extended periods. I'm finishing getting a big tattoo the weekend prior. So being outside and sweaty isn't an ideal environment. I really don't want to disappoint my friend, but I would spend most of the day waiting for everyone to get in and out of lines, holding everyone's bags, an important role, but not necessarily one I'd like to take on in these conditions. How do y'all suggest I break the news to her? Am I a shitty friend for not going i don't know why this is here but i love it it says whole assin not half

assin and then a peach emoji i have no idea why that's there either but i love it i love that whole assin i'm gonna start saying that i'm gonna wonder if that's your email signature congratulations oh my god if that's a reference to something let me know what that is yeah because this was an email i'm also not a big i like to go to amusement parks to go on small rides enjoy like the festivities around as in like if i ran into the evil queen queen it would make my day also eat and that's all i want i'm not getting on um the haunted mansion and doing a little slow-mo camera shot i could probably do what's the one was this that you go down in the log and get wet oh tiana's right no oh oh yeah it changed sorry yeah yeah i could do that but

that's that's as high as i'm going in the sky okay by the way that's actually quite high and like i'm in general afraid of my short friends doing that right it's just one dip and then you're done true like it's not a roller coaster it's like up and down in circles and stuff i don't want to do all that i just want one little little could you do one upside down roller coaster if the rest of it wasn't upside down after that incident i had on the superman ride when my uh oh thing was too loose never because that was all loose my harness was too loose yeah too loose and i told the guy i was also i was small i was like nine i think and i told him it was too loose he was like no you're fine when we go into the first loop it cranks down and hard on my chest i'm never doing

an upside down again yeah i was terrified for my life i will never do the one that i had that experience on was like a ring of fire that's like you're just going upside down in circles i'll never do that again because of like that feeling of not being latched in tight enough even though i know centrifugal force and all that shit but i don't care no i i i don't sure science still no like i i wouldn't do that i i can do upside down if it's not just the entire thing that won't traumatize me as much even nowadays yeah i can't do the drops that's the one thing i can't like i can't do a tower of terror i can't do like a big drop i know well i actually should have clarified for other people because she wasn't talking about i knew you were talking about that yeah but no one

else mentioned tower terror is it not the same thing well it's a guardians of the galaxy ride oh but it used to be like you went into the haunted mansion and then you got on the tower terror was that it is the tower terror not in the haunted mansion well now you're making me second guess because is it it's in california adventure but the haunted mansion's not what is the haunted mansion ride because i understand in my mind they are combined but they're i don't think they are okay but i don't know what the haunted mansion ride is i know it's different okay well i put them together but i met tower of terror tower of terror i love people taking their glam bot photos in it but not for me i don't know how they're able to do that i threw a picture last time

yeah so i'm just there is there another friend that's just there for vibes and food okay but here's my question i need to know where you live because like as someone with an august birthday i'm like very fucking cognizant that there are things that like we cannot do in august because like it's too fucking hot and or it's summer break and it's too fucking crowded like i understand that wholeheartedly like so like i'm someone who like disneyland truly is my perfect birthday like i love disneyland we live so close like it would be perfect like disneyland typically is like a very accommodating place so like there's lots of places to sit if you don't want to go on a certain ride there's like lots of rides of all ages and there's also like a lot of other things

to fucking do that like are still just as fun that are not the rides so like there's there's just a lot but i don't really go to disneyland i used to go to disneyland on my birthday but like i i haven't been disneyland my birthday in years because like global warming it has gotten far too fucking hot so for me if and matz and i've even talked about he was like well do you want to do it this year like maybe we just go for the night time on your birthday and like for me anytime that i was doing disneyland for my birthday i never expected everybody to want to go because it's august it's fucking august like and i think in general having a summer birthday means like you are quite used to people not being able to make it for your birthday like you're used

to as a kid people on vacation doing like x y and z whatever and that can be sure like you know hold a little bit of childhood trauma once you get into adulthood but if you want everybody to be there then you have to be accommodating for that like when i've like wanted everyone to be there i'm like okay we're renting a house here can everyone go this is how much we can all pay whatever x y and z but if it's like anytime i've done disneyland i've done something else in addition with the people who don't want to go like i have a friend who's got a bad back someone who just is like yeah i can't really do lines friends with you know health stuff like not oh do lines i have friends who can do lines and not and they if they did a line in disneyland i would say get

the fuck out of here what would be so disappointed actually i feel like what would love coke he also isn't racist and anti-semitic like fuck him no he's and which is why i think he would love cocaine yeah yeah so like to me this is like you're not letting down your friend like this trying to like go out of your way to like accommodate all of these things in general i think when you do like a big like a big thrill amusement park that's like for one and two friends that you know that would love that there's no way you can expect everyone to go and like and again unless it's disney and you love disney i don't think you should expect a friend to go who's like gonna hold the bags watch your shit like that to me is like not it i don't think that's important either

you should be you shouldn't depend on somebody else to hold your bag no like a dd situation where i'm like calling uber like this like having someone who has a role that is fundamentally different than everybody else's role there and it's parenting you like no so to me i don't think you even need to feel bad and i think if you phrase this in a way of being like hey i'm like really sorry i think it can validate a a not valid feeling if that's how they feel of being like oh like you know like like sounds so fun i'm not a big roller coaster person but like please send me all the pics like do you want to do dinner yeah this night or like would you all want to meet up for dinner afterwards or do you want to do a dinner you and me like and say suggest a day like

that later that week agree that's what i was going to say is to have an alternate plan that you two can just do together but like the heat and your tattoo those are two things that you can't be outside in the sun for anyway so or long lines yeah so even if it was cold you don't like roller coasters right so like it's just like to me i i think some people feel like an obligation to go attend event when someone invites them for me i prefer to be invited knowing i'm not going to be able to go or knowing i'm not gonna go and so i don't want to i do the same thing for other people but i don't want anyone to ever feel like they're i'm expecting them to go but a good friend also says hey this is what i want to do for my birthday because you know it's my birthday it's my day so

i'd get to do what i want but like i understand if you don't want to come well yeah it's like skydiving on your birthday and then being like you don't want to come no no i i don't also i want to know what what amusement park this is you think it's a six flags yeah i'm sorry spending your birthday at six flags some six flags are really nice though oh okay then i take it back super nice our six flags are not no the six flags after i saw the six flags here and i was like no our six flags are scary the one that yeah the one that i used to go to like the one i went to with the superman oh okay that was a six flags but like six flags over i think it's called like astro park the one in houston and then the one in there's one in uh kansas city and then one in pennsylvania

i believe but like we used to go to like all of those and they were fun and they were nice yeah yeah i think because we have disneyland they like make our six flags yeah not as nice it's like it legit looks like a ghost town no it's and it's like county fair vibes yeah like it's like it does not feel secure everything feels very rickety and like it's just and it's like nearly empty it's feeling very spooky ooky and like i will say even the one in northern california is pretty similar at least it was when i went as a kid with six flags also is that they kind of just started buying up like there was like the six flags as the mainstay but then they started just buying up other amusement parks

that were going out of business and putting the Six Flags name on it so it messed things up. Is Six Flags also Waterworld or did they just buy Waterworld? Yes. I think they bought it but it is they're usually right next door to each other.

Alright, we're going to take a break and when we get back we'll get into the next one. At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company, so we put our heart into making sure it's protected.

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We're back. It is time for the next. This person is 26, she, her. Hi, guys. Long time listener, first time writer. I just started a new job working admin in a retail store. I'm feeling insecure about assimilating socially. I'm neurodivergent, ADHD as far as I know,

and I've always been a pretty quote-unquote quiet person, as I don't speak unless I have something to say. I've never felt insecure about it until middle school, where I suddenly became insecure to the point where I developed crippling social anxiety. It got better with time externally, but internally, I still am that little girl worrying that everyone thinks I'm weird or doesn't like me or is waiting for me to say something more interesting or funny. All of these mental constraints have held me back from getting to know people. I'm particularly worried since my position is more removed from others. I work in the office while mostly everybody else is on the floor at some point.

I have less of an opportunity to get to know people, quote unquote, organically by working alongside them. It's weird because I feel like I've been put in the perfect circumstance, like intentionally hanging out with someone one-on-one. I've become a decent conversationalist, but in more of an ambiguous situation, I really struggle. Going out of my way to get to know somebody

doesn't come naturally to me. A part of me knows it takes time, but I still worry that I'm gonna end as the odd one out. To top it all off, I feel like I'm too old to come off as shy or to feel insecure socially, which makes it feel even worse i just wanted to hear your guys thoughts on the situation i would also love to hear if anyone listening relates because i often feel so alone in this can i give a hot take real quick uh-huh i think this is perfect because then you don't have to be friends

with people that you work with you don't need to be friends with people you work with at all but like i understand where you don't want to feel like the odd person out but i don't there's no age at which shyness quote unquote cuts off if you're a shy person and you're just a shy person but are you actually shy because you said that like you just don't talk unless you have something to say which is something that I would be like when I was a kid people be like she's so shy and it wasn't that I was shy I just like I didn't want to be part of the conversation or I didn't have anything to say and my parents would be like you need to stop like allowing people to say that about you because that's not who you are it doesn't define

who you are and like if you just say i'm not shy i just don't have anything to contribute to this yeah and like i agree there's a there's a big difference between i think what you described and like being shy because like being shy is a temporary limitation to starting social to starting social relationships you move past it like i was very shy as a kid in the sense that like, I would make my dad go to the playground and he would be like, I would point to the kids I wanted to play with. And usually it's because I love their outfits. And I would point to them, my dad would be like, this is Megan. And then I'd be like, okay, you can leave now. And like, it was, I was uncomfortable with that. And then once I got past that point, like I was totally

fine. What you're describing is like you've diagnosed social anxiety. Like that is what you were describing. You're overthinking, not just like your initial conversations with people, but like all the other ones. But I think it is compounded with the fact that like you just might not be super outgoing and that's not being shy that's like yeah not necessarily like feeling a need to instigate conversation all the time and I think as an extrovert I do think the world is built for extroverts like not introverts I think that like extroverts are are like seen as like the base level as being like this is normal and everything else is not which is not like that's not how it's just not true like that you don't have to like become extroverted that's not like

the default or the ideal or anything it's just like some people are built and wired differently and I will say as an extrovert I was very good at collecting introverts like it's you can make people who are extroverted don't just make friends with people who are extroverted like we all have interacted or know somebody in our friends family life who is a little bit like more socially reserved and unless you are deeply insecure not you the extroverted person deeply insecure you're not going to take that as like oh this person is like making fun this person is whatever it's going to be like oh this person's like brand new here like let me reach out let me like get to know them let me help them gather shell and like we are all very as adultic we're all very used to people of

different personality types and like how they go about social situations and i think this idea of like getting out of your shell as opposed to being like yeah you're 26 this is like who you are like this is like you might not always have something to say but like you want to participate you want to be involved in the conversation you're more of like a listener and like those people have exact same amount of value as outgoing loud very like boisterous big personality people and i wouldn't say big personality in bigger groups of people versus like feeling more comfortable being in smaller social settings i think this job like most said like is kind of perfect like in the sense that like you don't really i think you feeling like you have to go

out of your way to like make friends with people it's putting a burden on yourself that like you can also be receptive to other people wanting to make friends with you and also you can be like a separation of church and state it doesn't have to be friendships there yeah it can just be like a hi hello my name is how are you doing today like small talk type of things you don't have to go deeper than where y'all are like besties hanging out on the weekend but I think going out of your way to like get to know somebody if you're doing that out of obligation it's always going to feel clunky and I think like there are sometimes people you just hit it off with and like that's amazing and great I think other social situations putting yourself out there is

important and necessary i don't think it's important and necessary in the workplace because like i don't think that those friendships are it's not solely about making friends you also have a job to do there and it can get kind of messy so i i think like putting yourself out there and like making new friends it needs to be based on people that you want to be friends with and not just because you work together there's got to be something else there which is why you can like view other people feel like they're like engaging in a social dynamic like perfectly or like oh my god they just hit it off it's there's like a commonality there there's like something there and I think if you see that it's going to feel a little bit more like nerve-wracking and exciting

versus like what do I talk about how do I bring this up how do I do this but I would also encourage anyone else to write in who has similar feelings to this because I I will say that this is not I I am not an introvert. I am an extrovert who also has social anxiety. So I don't know how applicable how I feel is. But I would also ask if you are working with a psychiatrist for your ADHD and or a therapist, because getting medicated for ADHD helped my social anxiety tenfold because like that was like that was like literally the driving force behind it was being neurodivergent and having no idea or not even having no idea and then eventually knowing and then being like i don't know what to do with this information when i'm not medicated like

i still i'm feeling like an absolute immense amount of like anxiety and terror and that was because i felt so different than other people and i didn't know how to communicate like other people and so i think like if if that's something that is helpful for you whether that's medication or like therapy or anything like that but like they're so intertwined at least in my case yeah all right we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into the next one this episode is brought to you by Accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync Everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most.

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arm up the dog stars directed by ridley scott in theaters friday get tickets now we're back and we've got a voicemail hi megan and melissa i need some advice on how to handle men staring at me every time i leave the house i'm a 23 year old woman and i love wearing fun colorful crop tops in the summer this year more than ever i've noticed men staring at me every time i leave the house i'm talking slowing down their car to gawk at me and just overall very obviously staring at my body occasionally yelling something stupid as well. It's even worse if I'm wearing shorts. I absolutely will not be dressing any differently or more conservatively because I don't want to give them that power over me and also I'm a sweaty bitch and it's hot outside

but lately it's really been getting to me and I find myself crying when I get home. I just don't know how to handle it emotionally and it happens way too often. I just ignore them in the moment because unfortunately I am not a confrontational person but I wish I could just punch them in their stupid face. It's gotten to the point that I get triggered sometimes when my boyfriend touches me even though he is the sweetest most respectful partner and has absolutely nothing to do with those sexist idiots outside. I don't want to let nasty men break my spirit but they're starting to get to me. I feel like men are feeling safer to be sexist in public than they were a few years ago because of the political climate i live in germany so i am surrounded by sexist nazis and

i don't feel safe so it's just overall very upsetting uh do you have any advice on how to deal with the weight of everyday misogyny i don't want to let these men make me cry anymore i love you guys and everything you do and i've been listening since the very beginning thank you i will be honest i don't know how to tell you to not let you know the the threat of violence or being objectified from men not get to you because like the point is for it to get to you and like it gets the point where we get older and we don't get that negative violent attention from men and then it makes psychologically then we feel less than and we don't feel pretty anymore we don't feel worthy the whole thing is designed to make you feel uneasy the entire time from when it starts

to when it ends yeah and i i feel like most women and i'd say even like girls like this starts pretty young early for us i feel like i because i developed pretty early um before most girls my age and like i'm just kind of used to it like i dress however i want when i go out i don't care what a man says it just like it and i hate to say this but it just is part of being a woman and i'm just and it's just kind of like i'm used to it i ignore it and i don't let it get to me at all yeah i think phrasing it as like i don't want to change what i'm wearing because i don't want them to win they're winning yeah it's i'm wearing what i want to wear yeah but like the men are always winning the men are always winning the men are always winning and like you are not giving

you're not letting them win they're just taking it so like there is nothing that you could do that is like well i don't want to succumb to like it's not you can't win they always it's not a competition though too like because they they've rigged it in their favor like regardless they win and so i think like taking away any agency and power from that where it's like if you don't feel like there are certain ways that like i dress differently depending on where i'm going or there's certain tasks i will not do where i'm wearing a certain outfit that is not them winning that's not them winning at all that's you protecting yourself yeah and so i think if you can separate that from you of being like if this is getting you getting to you to the point where

you were like sobbing and crying and like you're flinching when your boyfriend is touching you you're like fight or flight is activated so like you don't feel safe in certain situations and there are situations where you probably do feel safe while you are wearing whatever you are fucking wearing and how people are reacting and then there's other ones that like make your heart you know start to pick up pace and ones where you're like i'm feeling a little nervous here and i say that because like i experience that we all experience that of like there's times where it's like depending on the circumstance in the situation someone slowing down their car and making a comment what i'm wearing is not threatening and there are other times where

the street is empty yeah it is a reason why we we carry our keys with us between our fingers yeah so i think like taking it as like a stance of like i'm gonna wear whatever i want whenever i want as like a stick it to the man kind of a thing i think we're moving that mentality and like wearing whatever you want to wear when you want to wear it and taking taking away any sort of like political statement with that so you're not feeling like on a situation where you you might not feel entirely safe and comfortable wearing this but you're like i can't let them win i have to do this the men are going to do this regardless they're going to do this regardless of what you wear regardless of how old you're all of this kind of stuff like it is inevitable and

they always they always win and you just need to protect your peace and your emotional well-being as much as you can and like to me that is like if you can recognize a pattern in times that you're like i don't feel as safe in this instance wearing this i'm gonna grab a button-up sweater or i'm gonna something even as simple as like and like i've done this like i'm going to put my hair in a bun and wear a baseball hat like it's something that i'm not changing my outfit but i'm i don't leave the house feeling anxious from the jump without anyone doing anything and then i'm not starting from a place of like anxiety about this and that's not them winning but i feel like even like if you put on a baseball cap you're still it doesn't matter what you have on but how you feel

that's what i'm saying like how you feel when you leave the house i don't think you should feel nervous immediately when you leave the house if you can wear something that feels it sounds so cheesy but feels more like armor that you feel a little bit more protected in a way doesn't mean you're actually more protected at all wearing like a crop top and shorts can be as much of a political statement as like wearing a hoodie and like a baseball hat and whatever that is it's whatever you feel comfortable in? I think for me, like taking the, like I said, this is for me, taking like the thing of there's something to be one. It's just that I'm existing. This is how I want to exist. And no one else has any bearings on the way that I move through life and just

ignoring it and i think it's about being in situations where you feel safe to ignore it and like you know political protest and all that only really can work and exist when you have the power to do it and like there are times when you can assess like it's dark out the street is empty i don't feel super i don't feel like politically motivated in this moment like i feel like i'm you know thinking about like my myself and my anxieties which again are valid and it's nowhere near your fault but I think knowing that it's going to happen regardless it's just it's yeah it's an unfortunate fact of life it's going to happen no matter what you're it's going to happen at any point what makes you feel better you can be you can have on a sweater and pants that go

up to your tits and down to your ankles and men will still do the same thing yeah so what makes you feel better what makes you feel less anxious in this and like that doesn't have to be changing what you wear at all but it can be like it can be something as simple as like for me i feel really safe knowing that i'm close to my neighbors so like i can text them like i feel or even having like your location turned on anything that makes you feel more secure in like how you're moving throughout the day and throughout like the world and that doesn't have to be changing what you wear and also changing what you wear does not mean that they've won it doesn't mean that you're not it doesn't mean you're succumbing to the patriarchy or anything like that like you just

need to feel safe and i think there's an idealized version of how we want to feel safe versus how we actually practically feel safe yeah and some days you can feel safe in a crop top and shorts other days you might not feel safe in a crop top and shorts that doesn't mean you have to wear the crop top and shorts yeah but also like with like flinching when your boyfriend is touching you there might be other things that are underlying in that situation so maybe talking to a therapist could also help you with this yeah because it sounds like you're existing at a heightened fight or flight mentality so like i cannot imagine that any of this is helping with that but yeah it's difficult it's hard being a woman here now we're gonna take a break

this episode is brought to you by Accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync Everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand the high protein yogurt oikos pro is there to feed your strength and help you turn every challenge into a smash oikos pro helps build strong muscles and support muscle recovery with high protein and contains no added sugar because true strength isn't about being able to take the hits it's about being able to

bounce back. Oikos Pro, feed your strength. Visit oikos.ca for more details. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system. And it's ready to go from day one, so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI cloud ERP for any size business. We are back and it is time for an update. Someone called in and they are giving us an update on a situation that we had discussed of theirs on a previous episode. Hey, Eminem. I'm calling to give another update on my sister and her toxic boyfriend, Ted, from episodes released on January 29th and March 25th of last year.

Long story kind of short, since we last talked, things got worse in regards to his treatment of Robin and my sister's behavior of putting him above all else. i told her i was moving out when i was up and that helped her start to realize that her actions were hurting not only herself but all of her other relationships with me family and friends and she slowly started to put herself first while he just became wary that he wasn't the center of her world anymore he then tried getting her to move in with him when she said not right now he tried to break up with her then the next day after he moved in again and then tried breaking up so the repeating behavior of trying to end it when things didn't go his way kind of cleared things up and she started to see him for who he really is and I'm thrilled to say that she

broke up with him at the end of the summer and she is much happier and more herself than she's been in a long time it was just such a major relief and obviously I wanted to throw a party um but now that they're finally over so many things that my sister had during the relationship are coming out regarding his treatment of her and it's even worse than I ever imagined like I honestly believe he deserves jail time for some of the shit that he did I'm also just kind of heartbroken that his actions tore her down so much and have really messed with her self-image and ability to be in a happy relationship. So no new guys for her at the moment, but I know that she'll heal from all this and eventually get there and find a person that will treat her the way that she

deserves to be treated. I just wanted to thank you both so much for all of your advice with this and for those who called in to share your similar stories. It really helped. i didn't end up leaving when our lease ended and my sister and i are in a much better place now i'm just so glad that his manipulative toxic ass is out of our lives how's you guys oh my god i love that me too i'm so great sister yeah i'm so happy that she was able to get out of the situation that you were able to be there to be a support to her and if you want to throw a party throw a party no motherfucking party i'm all for a party color me mine you can all like color or go to one of those paint i mean a plate throwing places you know it can be symbolic in like a rage room

yeah beat you just take a hammer and just smash things get a pinata with his face on it or an animal he's liking to maybe a donkey you know something something fun like that i think that's like a great thing to do and uh i think something that's like the the role that you play as a support system when you're saying like you know i i hate that he tore her down so much and like did all of this that like you know hindered her dating in the future as someone who's like had gone through like shitty relationships and stuff like i leaned heavily on my friends to be like i need you to be i need you to be like my what is it your right brain is your logical sign left brain's creative whatever it is i need you to be that like analytical unbiased intelligent side of

my brain like i need you to be that for me because like my judgment my picker's been off my judgment's been off and like i trust you implicitly i need you to tell me if this is good or bad or whatever and in general once you've kind of gotten out of one very bad relationship you start dating again this is the time to be candid from the beginning as like the outsiders because like that person is receptive to that and like you don't be like okay well you know i don't i don't want them to get discouraged no if you see a red flag wave it in front of their face yeah yeah and thanks to everyone who wrote in if you want to write in about anything that's happened on this episode or previous episodes please do you can use that form you can call in you can send an email but

we love to get don't blame them in as well it helps especially if you have a different perspective than we do oh and maybe i know you in real life this is your shadow i'm not going to say your name but i was talking to someone who was like yeah i was listening to the podcast and i thought i might know of something that you were hinting at at something and you know we were we were having a very parallel experience so sometimes that happens and um sometimes we don't know you in person that you can't like be like hey but you can you know share it on the podcast with the don't blame them yeah because it is crazy how similar parallel a lot of time people will be going through the exact same thing and it can be very helpful to hear because we can tell you that

other people go through it but there's something really nice to hear about someone else who you know listens to us probably has the same hopefully moral center them going through that too yeah and people have been on the other side so yeah we love it wonderful community that uh we have we've built with force brute force yeah we have we have built this beautiful supportive wonderful loving community with an iron fist we've we've yeah we've built it strong yeah um speaking of if you want to join our patreon we do live streams there twice a month they are so much fun you get to know people get to know us um it's a grand old time if you want to know what their like you can check out the patreon like we upload the video versions of them but just know

oftentimes we pause because we go well this can't be recorded so it's it's really great for like an hour as far as like what we put up but sometimes you'll just notice it abruptly ends if you're watching it back and that's because things had to be said exactly exactly and there are people from quite literally all over the world and everybody's always like very eager to make like either a long distance friend or again people are everywhere you can meet someone who is like close by and like people hang out in real life and you know maybe you're someone who's like looking to travel the world great place to start yeah yeah and it's really fun and the videos are there if you want to watch the video versions of the podcast and we have a whole other slate of

shows for you to watch why are you winking oh she's winking because you're watching it do you want to tell them what other shows or should we just go eat no we should tell them the shows uh today is thursday so tomorrow you've got fisting friday to look forward to that was an excruciating sound i'm just saying sometimes you gotta breathe through the pain yeah uh sounded like a fucking wind tunnel a turbine i'm sure that when coco ed says it won't be as forceful okay getting fisted by a turbine today's episode it's really just us catching up talking gabbing there's no plan that goes into it remember when we used to plan them out we'd have like games that we would play and stuff honestly not until you just said that i fully forgot that ever happened until just now

yeah now i remember mondays is but am i wrong that's when you can write in about situations going on in your life um this past monday we did sinners i'm sure it's it was a great episode we haven't recorded it yet um tuesday i'll see you next tuesday where you can where there's the votes for that episode of but am i wrong wednesday listen to my audio series which is in the show notes thursday we'll be back here for another episode of don't blame me chosen by fate rejected by the alpha all right catch on the flip side bye bitches This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions.

Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.