Don't Blame Me! - DBM: My Ring Finger Remains Bare

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Dealing with a nosey neighbor Trying to support your Trump supporting brother When is it time to leave a serious relationship Deciding which family to go to during the holidays Don't Blame Them: Dropping out of college to go to cosmetology school (September 12, 2024) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Need Advice? dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi hello hello welcome sunshine to another wonderful episode of don't blame me an advice podcast where we give you advice because we're amazing and we're so sweet rainbow so welcome to sunshine and rainbow and no of course this is not a cult oh i meant to talk about this but i forgot now that you brought up cult it reminded me did you see those people that got kicked out of the disney exclusive club i know it's called but i just like to call it pin 15 yep but uh one of the members was found sleeping drunk on a uh park bench outside and so him and his wife got kicked out of pin 15 and so outside why would you get kicked out of your sleeping outside they were in still in the park but outside the club oh okay he claims he was on medication

but he smelled like alcohol and so and he said he had like a migraine and was just lying down but okay but they got kicked out and then they like tried for a while to get back in and they were mad while they were still drunk they were plotting no like oh they slept it off and then they said we would like to come back to this establishment because we're hating from outside of the club when we can't even get in right and so they kept trying and then disney was just like no and uh so then they sued disney and they started calling it a cult and it was like if it's so much a cult why were you trying and then you got mad and now you're suing them if you're looking for another cult that will take your money might i interest you in scientology right but they've been sharing

all the secrets that what goes on in there like food and beverages yeah it's not even anything exciting no you got kicked out for being drunk that's i don't think there's any secrets in there that are worth sharing at that point that's so they're like one week or during thanksgiving tom hank shut it down so his family could have thanksgiving dinner okay gas okay you get to use the same bathroom that walt disney used disgusting i don't want to think about that redo that shit tell me you have a new toilet seat that's nasty right some people should say less Unless y'all are talking about orgies that are happening in there, then that's what I want to hear. And I'd be even more surprised because why'd you get kicked out then?

Right. If they were encouraging debaucherous shenanigans, sleeping on a bench is not an evictable offense then. Well, that's fun. Welcome to the cult of Disney. We are not a subsidiary of that, though we could always be bought. Yeah. For a price. I'm here.

Same. abc hulu we've got show ideas r.i.p freeform r.i.p freeform's gone no sorry r.i.p abc family okay we still love freeform it's about to say abc family hasn't even always been abc family i mean yeah i mean it's still not i think it was only abc family for a short period of time it was fox family and then before that it was family just family channel a bunch of corny stuff happening yeah i would say that abc family was and maybe i don't watch enough freeform but i think abc family that era was kind of like the most raunchy and like the most like oh hot okay this is a lot because shit happened it's literally the same thing they just changed the name to freeform

because they were like this is somewhat misleading that also and family implied here and i go this is somewhat misleading we're having teenagers fuck okay let's not yeah i mean there was an episode of which this is when i tuned out because i don't like this particular character but of grown-ish juniors just dropped his draws and was railing a girl in the public bathroom and i said thank you i'm done with this show because i remember when this was a little boy on black that to me i'm actually not okay with yeah i'm like not okay with that like sometimes everybody's stories don't matter I go I actually don't need to know that story yeah when I've seen you as a child that's just like it's actually truly strictly none of my business right and that's when I checked

out because I was I mean I stuck around for Zoe even though I found her annoying but I liked everybody else that was there and that was after he had already because him and Hallie of Chloe and Hallie they were together on the show too and he was sucking on her toes oh no no but he wasn't a full-time cast member at that point it's doing a lot for a guest star yeah well because it also crossed over with blackish so that's why yeah no no i'm good i'm good i'm so good yeah well we're gonna give you advice and that's our advice to um abc family aka freeform so this is a call-in advice podcast so if you want to call in you can leave us a voicemail 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com

and you can also send us a dm to our instagram and for the written version we ask that you keep it under 300 words for the audio recording version keep it under three minutes write everything down practice saying it out loud a few times time it all out and then for all of them you'd be h and over have your parents permission and we ask that you include your age you could include your pronouns if you would like and give us as much detail as possible because we want to give you good advice if we give bad advice it's either funny or unintentional but just help us out help us help you and we're also on patreon if you watch the want to watch the video version and see me fussing with my hair you had the whole hot girl in a movie moment well no hold on you got to throw

it a little bit oh put the glasses back on yes yes yes oh who me no i'm just i'm just like a lowly nerd i'm just i'm just a girl i'm just i'm worried about being valedictorian i'm not even thinking about prom girls like me don't get asked to prom what wait what are you doing she's hot oh my god oh my god they don't even recognize me wow this is actually who i've been deep down all along. I'm just blind and my neck is sweaty. Thank you. Thank you. You can find my representatives anywhere and I am free and available. So shall we? Well, I guess we should introduce ourselves. What's your name? My name is Melissa Diamond Montz. I hail from the great state of California, originally from Arkansas. And I'm so excited to be here today to share my

insight, my thoughts, and to judge. And who are you? I'm Megan. I'm mostly just excited to judge. And I'm from California and I will never leave unless I go bankrupt. Or you book a show in canada or atlanta oh yeah or i'm or jersey they just for a job they just announced they're doing big tax cuts in jersey yes hold up here's the thing because i i know i've talked shit before but jersey farm towns kind of the vibe so what happened was is that most of the people that work on film sets in jersey no in new york are commuting in from jersey and jersey was like hold on why don't we just keep our people here and we'll start giving tax cuts california did you hear that hello we could do that in law no more ai yeah i don't know which means that he's

gonna make a big swing to do something horrible in a couple weeks yeah and the whole thing doesn't look like i go none of this looks real this looks like a stage prop like i just feel like we're on a set and like it was just so odd and i could like tell in her eyes that friend dresser was like i'm attracted to this man but i hate him and i went friend tell us what you're about because it did not seem like she was in it didn't seem like a totally pleasant encounter and i was like who's that am i on because i do flip-flop on both of you constantly yeah but also he looks very similar to her ex-husband gay husband who she's also still best friends with and they go everywhere together goals so I mean they look similar she's like here's the straight version okay love that

for him and her yeah so I said about Whitney on um Secret Lives of Mormon Wives you can say what you want but I'm gonna pick her husband and that marriage over a lot of the other ones is he straight and at that point still better than a lot of those men yep I saw somebody on TikTok they live here in la and he's like actively looking for a lavender marriage first of all it's a far more beneficial tax wise than just a roommate and you know sometimes romantic partners can be annoying like i i yeah i associate you can financially be stable and then go real whoever you want yeah and like be with someone who like you love deeply as a person who you never get sick of yeah and who's not going to be like poking your back with a boner being like you know i mean

like there's not you might occasionally make it out but that's it yeah that's fun i love that for people all right well let's get in the first one this is mostly right in so make sure your mouth is lubricated will do good morning eminem i hope you're having a great week i am calling in for advice on a nosy neighbor i'm 29 and use she her pronouns might be about me formally i recently purchased oh this is you i recently purchased and began renovating my first house i love the neighborhood everyone is so friendly my neighbor directly to the right of me is so nosy i bought the house with my twin sister not you i know how you feel about twins no i'm i'm so sorry i've got a feeling i'm i'm not gonna like where this is going neither of us is married or in a serious

relationship so we decided to buy a fixer-upper and sell it for a profit in the future yep there we go so we are not identical but you can definitely still tell we're sisters let's call him mr chuck when mr chuck came over the first day to welcome us to the neighborhood he said oh didn't think i'd live to see the day i'd have lesbian neighbors my jaw hit the floor i was like um we're twins and then he said what a relief i saw the resemblance and was thinking kissing cousins i kid you not we laughed it off because that shit was hilarious that is funny now he makes a habit to pop over anytime he feels like it he asks about the projects we're working on offers his own ideas and techniques and all he's harmless just a bored old man but i also am an

introvert and sometimes when i'm out in the shed i don't want to shoot the shit with mr chuck i just want to listen to my audiobook and work on my projects how do i politely tell him to leave me alone thanks in advance you don't you're flipping a house you're flipping a house for profit you don't you do your work and you sell it and you make money and that's what that it like i also don't know what the point of it is because it's a problem if you're gonna live there and you have to maintain a relationship but like this is all temporary yeah yeah agree but they're not doing like a flip flip because flippers they try to flip it before they have to pay their first mortgage so then yeah there's like a scale of yeah that but i mean you said that uh in the future that

was the whole point of you buying this house yeah you're working on projects so i'm assuming you are renovating the home yourself i don't know if you're a licensed contractor yeah agree with that But to the next level, I had a very nosy, nosy, nosy neighbor who would show up to my door, would be looking out her window when I was coming in, would be like, oh, you have a lot of friends. And someone she did not. And someone was like, well, maybe she was just lonely. And I said, no, her family was there all the time, like all the time. She had grandchildren, her grown children who are older than me. They were always over.

So it wasn't that she was lonely. She was just nosy. Even when I moved downstairs and then I was directly next door to her, she was also to my right. When I first moved in, keep in mind, this was during peak COVID pre-vaccine. And I was moving downstairs. She just walks inside. No mask on. talking about i just want to look around and see what it looked like in here

ma'am oh maybe you've 30 minutes the thing is i just for me i just dealt with it it's i think it's different when it's a man versus a woman but i just dealt with it because i was like if i go missing then she knows where i am and you know in those movies it's always that little quirky old lady who says she got all the fucking info she can give you your friend's license plate number at that point she was telling me about everybody all the time and i was like what are you telling people about me i know i wonder that too because we gossip with our neighbors and i'm like so what are you guys saying about us yeah i would just make it so are you when you're doing your projects when you do you have on headphones make it so you have headphones that cover your whole freaking ear

like over the not inside your ear so then and blast it and just ignore him pretend like you don't hear him or like hang up like a plastic sheet or a sign that says like no hazardous don't come in or you know something like that so but yeah I mean as someone who like has neighbors now where we plan to be here for a long time the relationships like how you kind of go about it like how you talk to people or whatever like you have to like kind of think it through but you know maybe you get a dog that's unfriendly yeah and so doesn't want to come up to that but there's not really a polite way to tell someone to like leave you the fuck alone yeah especially you don't want to create a hostile environment where you stay and it gets a lot worse

then like this kind of thing might be annoying but it's about like cutting it short and just being like oh sorry i've got a work phone call i've got to hop on to yeah or like i got to get back to this like just finding ways to cut the interaction short but finding a way to remove the interactions from happening as a whole is only going to happen if like he suddenly fucking hates you which is a much worse situation to be in yeah i mean there when i first moved in here there was somebody one of my neighbors that i thought was very annoying but then i actually talked to him and i was like oh i actually like you and now we're cool so yeah that happens like it's just you gotta let people if you if you come if you're too closed off on all of it like

you know someone there's like a quote from another creator i'm gonna butcher and i don't know who said it but it was like how people will call themselves community organizers and not even speak to their roommates yeah and it's like if you want to have a community and like benefit from that like you have to be an active participant in that and not like in a pre-established community but also being able to like create community with the people that you're surrounded by and you can have like shitty neighbors but like you don't ever want to piss them off in a place in a in a way that's merited like i've pissed neighbors off in ways that are like completely not merited at all but like we vent with the other neighbors about that and like how like silly it is and like

it's not that deep or serious but i think if we came back at it with fire to the fire that he has created that is completely unwarranted that we're like it's not chill it like doesn't diminish the problem at hand it just makes it worse yep all right well good luck think about staying in your home for a while yeah and we're gonna take a break and when we get back we'll get into the rest all right we're back and it's time for the next Hey Eminem, I've been going back and forth on cutting my brother off for a long time and I think I've reached my breaking point. I feel absolutely awful that has come to this, but he has changed beyond repair in my opinion. My brother and I are only a year apart. He's 21,

he him, and I'm 22, he him. We lived in California for most of our lives. Then 15 and 16 years old, we moved to Alabama. Major culture shock. My parents tried to keep us still set in the same standards we'd been raised. My brother started changing. He began hanging out with a bad crowd and was easily influenced. I don't blame him at all. When we moved, we both found our quote-unquote cliques. He'd make offhanded comments from time to time,

but for the most part, it was harmless. This all changed when election year rolled around. He is loud in his Trump support. He has turned into a full-blown racist. The shy, fun-loving kid who moved here has been replaced by a MAGA soldier. I don't know how else to describe it. All of our outside family has shunned him.

He's been fired from his job over people calling him out on his shit on social media and then contacting them. Let me tell you, where we live it is very hard to get a loud trump supporter fired so yeah it is that bad i tried to stick it out but i can't i'm exhausted and it's only getting worse how do i go about cutting him off is this the right choice i've tried telling some talking some sense into him but it's been absolutely useless i'm not saying supporting one candidate over another is the issue it's the way

that he's chosen to support trump has cost him so much already well you know at this point i would not only cut contact i might change my last name because like yeah if you were getting fired from your job for being a trump supporter in alabama um i am i think the feds will be knocking at your door yeah if it's so bad that he's made comments online where people have contacted his employers to get him fired and he did get fired he's a liability you're never gonna know i was related to this man ever ever ever ever liability yeah so cut him off and change your name and you're not wrong at all like it's it's it's exhausting to do this and the whole thing that like people are like you shouldn't cut people off who have like differing opinions and views or

whatever and like i've said this so many times is that like i will engage in discourse with people and the first thing i'll say is are you open to changing your opinion about this and if it's a no why am i wasting my breath like there is not any use there and you found that that's what's happening for him and once you get in this deep to me this is a mental health problem but it's not your mental health problem yeah i yeah cutting them off is a thing to do also keep in mind a lot of former trump supporters have talked about it as like when you get out it's very much like deprogramming like you've been in a cult because it is a cult so i wouldn't say that he's a complete lost claws right now because he is young but that also might be I take that back that also might

because he's been ingrained in it for five plus years now but you know if you think that there's some coming back then stay in contact but it seems like there's not at all and it might bounce back on you too to the point where people are like well you're associated with this person that's what i would be worried about the most is like how it puts your anything for you in in question because like let's say like he does something fucking crazy and the feds show up and they question him and then they show up to your work and they question you and like i don't know what the employment style like at will and whatever that is there i don't know if that's grounds for your company being like hey this is bad look for us even though we know that that's not what you

align with so like that's just bad but yeah i also think like your parting words can just be like you are my brother I care about you so deeply which is why I cannot maintain a relationship with you because this hurts me when anyone does this it hurts me even more when it's coming from you it's hurting me so much coming from you and I want you to know that the door is always open I will never say I told you so I will never like I'm never going to come through that like if you get to a point where you feel you're in too deep, if you get to a point where you change your views and change your opinion and you want help and getting out of that, call me. My door's always open for that. But if it's not that, I can't maintain this relationship. Yeah. And then also

keep in mind, Tim Walz's brother is a Trump supporter. Mindy Kaling, who hosted the DNC, Her brother is also a Trump supporter and neither of those people talk to their siblings. So Linda Carter, the original Wonder Woman, her sister is running for a council office and is a hardcore Trump supporter. And she has come out and Linda Carter has come out and endorsed the other candidate. so yeah it's just like i just i do kind of believe that if you are going to have alienating dangerous i don't know if it's the right term to call them like anti-social views but like in the sense of like individualistic like anti-community anti well any of those things like all of that I don't think you should benefit from the way that you you get to just say all of these horrible

things and then have them not reflect on you as a person and then influence your personal relationships like I just don't think that that makes any sense whatsoever because like we're not talking about like how you think we should pay for education and taxes it's about if you think certain people are intrinsically hold more value in society than others like it just becomes like a whole other aspect that like i don't think that it can be a shock to anyone who is supporting that that it would make people change how they view them and change their relationships we can argue over if chocolate cake or vanilla cake is better but we cannot argue over ethics like yeah or who gets cake no one it's just all for me and nobody else and that's what's fair because i'm white or

i'm straight i'm cis whatever that is like it's just it's like a whole fucking other ball game yeah yeah i can't imagine how difficult it is to deal with this and knowing that i'm sure your parents even then when they moved to alabama like that was already a red state like so there was a little bit of fear there but i yeah i can feel that it must have been hard for them to imagine that this is what the result would have been but look at you you're doing great you listen to this podcast big green flag huge green flag brother definitely doesn't all right next one hey megan and melissa long time listener and i have called in a few times i am wondering when it is time to leave a serious relationship i am 30 and use she her pronouns my boyfriend and i have been together

10 years live together five i feel like i am his wife in everything but name and that's not okay with me. We used to talk about marriage all the time. Now it doesn't come up as often. We had a checklist of things we needed to accomplish first before getting married and all those boxes have been checked. Yet my ring finger remains bare. I don't doubt he loves me or I him, but I know that marriage is in game for me. I want to be a wife, not a living girlfriend. The problem is I don't know how to say this without signing like a whiny entitled bitch any advice would be great thank you and love the pot buy some suitcases get some cardboard boxes pack your shit and go i don't think expressing what you want in life is being an entitled whiny bitch you're saying what you want

you made a list it's been checked he knew what you want it's been 10 years you've you say that you love him he loves you this was a hard line for you it was a deal breaker and he's broken the deal so get out yeah I'm like I don't think like you can have a conversation without sounding like a whiny bitch because I don't think you need to have this conversation this conversation has already been had like melissa said like the deal he did not hold the deal was not met so therefore breaker walk away like this if you even if at any point you get to you get to the point relationship where you're like i don't want to bring up wanting commitment with marriage without sounding whiny it's you're already far gone if that's like what your mind attributes assigns that kind of intention

or emotion behind it like the relationship is already fucking done because unless you have been spending this whole time going like i don't want to get married i really don't want to get married i don't want to get married and then you've changed your mind and you have to be like i have to let him know that after 10 years of telling him i never want to get married under any circumstance now i want to tell him i want to get married how do i do that that's the only time that it's like hey let me revisit the thing that we've talked about a bazillion fucking times to remind you because he knows he knows and it's just if the longer you can sit around and wait it's going to feel like a sunk cost and it's like, oh, I'll just I'll just stick it out and stay.

No, no, no, no. Like this is just it. It shouldn't even be a conversation at this point. The conversation has already been had. You already checked off the list and now this is not happening. So I don't know. For me, I wouldn't even want to be like, so is that going to happen or what? Like, I don't think that I would even want to ask to wait or to even wait around any longer. i would say it just because maybe he is planning an engagement chances are he's not but i would just say hey i'm ready to get married now and then if he's like actually i've changed my mind or we don't need to do this anymore then that's when to leave that's a good like when did you finish checking off the list like if you finished checking it off six months ago but if you checked

off three years ago and like there hasn't been a cause i also think like if you you've been together for this long i hope you discuss finances with each other so like one of if he like lost his job and there was something like that i do think that that should be a conversation of like hey i know we said that this was coming but because our financial situation like i'm gonna need to reallocate and so that but again like it should you should never have to bear the responsibility that there will be no conversation had unless you are the one bringing it up like and like Mats and I aren't even married yet, but he started his new job and he was like, got his health benefits. And he was like, yeah, I'm seeing if I can put you on them. And I was like, we're not

married yet. And he was like, well, I already filed for a domestic partnership. And I was like, oh, cool. Like I didn't have to ask. Like it was none of that. It was him going like, hey, I know how much you pay for insurance every month. If I add you onto mine, it's going to be like exponentially cheaper. Let's figure this out. Like here's what I've done to do this. But like to chase it down to me there's no higher disrespect than a man who knows how i feel what i want and actively chooses to do something that hurts me that is like diabolical fucked up shit because like even people i hate i'm not going to and no unless it's someone i hate i'm not going to go out of my way to conduct myself or to make choices that i know that will that are specifically

designed to piss them off or to hurt them that do nothing to benefit me do what i mean like it's just like that is like the highest level of disrespect to me you deserve better yep all right well we're going to take a break when we get back we'll get into more at deja den insurance we know that when you own a nail salon everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe that's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company. So we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage. And we are back and it's time for the

next hey melissa and megan i hope y'all are doing well with the holidays rolling in what holiday don't get me fucking started on this shit wait what holiday do we they're talking about the holidays as in thanksgiving christmas it's september it's not well now i believe it is officially fall but continue we don't know what they're talking about maybe it's something where they have to plan on traveling or something yeah with the holidays rolling in i'm trying to figure out how couples decide whose family's house to visit. This is my first time in a serious relationship around the holiday. I'm 24 and use she, her pronouns. I went to college clear across the country from my hometown. Afterwards, I got hired at a job in the same city and never left.

My boyfriend did the exact same thing, but different cities. We met in college. So neither of us is anywhere near home and our homes aren't near each other. We're trying to figure out how to navigate the holidays. We live with each other now and feel like this year we do the holidays as a couple. How do couples decide where they go for what holiday? This may sound a little silly, but i'm genuinely curious we're being pulled in different directions by both families so we know we need to decide soon plus ticket prices are not getting any cheaper any advice would be greatly appreciated okay well this makes sense in context y'all are living together you are planning and you're trying to save money before tickets get too expensive i would focus in on splitting the

two, if you celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving, splitting that and then seeing if somebody has a specific tradition at a specific holiday that is more important to them and then deciding that way and then knowing like next year, let's switch it where we go to my family's house for Thanksgiving and your family's house for Christmas. And you just keep going back and forth. If you want to have kids things get a little bit more complicated then and then you have people celebrating the holidays at your house yeah yeah so then you invite them then we were always fucking traveling though but like my grandparents both sides lived in the same vicinity but we did not live there yeah we lived far away but even then it was like who are we still going to for to eat the meal

yeah it's still complicated but uh yeah it was just flipping back and forth and then when we got to like high school age or not even high school say middle school age me and my i was in middle school they weren't and i was just like i don't feel like going anywhere can't people just come to us yeah it's usually that age it's like you you've a kid first kid who reaches middle school it says i'm not getting in that fucking car and then it's like okay actually guys come over here so i mean i don't have personal experience with this because i will say my in-laws lucked the fuck out they have me an orphan and then my sister-in-law is jewish and so holiday wise christmas has always been we've done like colorado or whatever and then for thanksgiving

because we don't live in state we know like we just don't no one goes anywhere for thanksgiving So like if someone wants to come for Thanksgiving, usually my sister-in-law, her parents will come in around Thanksgiving and like we'll go over there. And so we usually have dinner on Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law's parents who I love to death. Like I love them so much. They're great. And then last year, the baby was brand new. So like, yeah, didn't go anywhere. No.

And the when our nephew was born, he was born right before Thanksgiving, too. They're both they're both like fall before Thanksgiving babies. but the thing that I think is it should be equally beneficial and equally terrible for both people like I think if there is one of your parents who like doesn't give a shit about Thanksgiving I don't think that that's the one who should automatically get Christmas like I think it should be a sacrifice and a win for both of you because if one of you has to wildly disappoint your family and then the other one goes well this is an easy pick I'll just pick this one and then it's it's all whatever that I don't think is fair like I think it needs to be both a benefit and a

sacrifice for both of you and I do think that it's also a really great time to see how your partner handles conflict resolution when it comes to like your relationship as a unit and boundaries with family so that's helpful but also you didn't say how long you were dating you met in college so if you're 24 right yeah but they lived together yeah but the other thing i was gonna say though is that like if you want to spend the holidays together go for it totally do that that's great i also know that like Monsa's parents until they had kids they did like holidays with their families separately because they both like weren't that and then when they had kids they did most they like stayed where they were when they had like young little kids and then when they got older they would like travel

and see people and do all that kind of stuff but you know if you both have like such strong ties and affinities to your traditions in that way I would also have a conversation beforehand because you know that if you then bring a partner with you to your holiday they're not just a bystander you have to include them and so the traditions that you you don't have traditions with your partner for the holidays and like just completely assimilating into their family's traditions will always make them feel and you when you're on the other side of it will make you feel like an outsider you both want to look forward to spending the holidays where you do and so I think establishing new traditions is a great way. And if you are like both super steadfast and

like stubborn about how you want to celebrate it, I would celebrate it separately then for a while because I think it will just build animosity until you're ready to kind of create your your own traditions as like a family. Yeah. Like even my brother-in-law, his family was like a pajama family and we're a dress-up family for holidays and that was something that we adjusted to where like we'll do pajamas for opening presents but we didn't but then we changed for dinner so like there and things that's the great thing about tradition and then incorporating new people into your family is that then traditions evolve too totally matz's family was like an open presents on Christmas Eve kind of person and I two or three Christmases in

a row fell asleep while we were opening presents not on purpose obviously but I'm in like tights and booties and like a whole like nice outfit falling asleep because we would fly in pretty quickly like right before the holiday um and it like you know we did a couple of like let's push it and like it was kind of like ah I don't know about the tradition and Matz is like she can't fucking stay awake like it's i'm not gonna just keep waking her up when it's like and they have like a whole round of how they do it and when my sister-in-law was pregnant i was like girl you are pregnant i i fall asleep let's just like let's do it in the morning and then when the kids were born we changed tradition to the morning and like you know took a little bit of like getting used to

for everybody else but like it's much more enjoyable now and there's like a new tradition and there's like a new growth of all of that and then like you know we used to spend it specifically just in denver and i had always said like let's go to the mountain house go mountain house then matz's brother and i we banded together and when covid happened we said we can fucking do christmas the mountain house and like now that's what we've done the last couple of years even when we haven't had to so but now you're like never again after that snowstorm no matz is like never again unfortunately i still love it no we're just not driving again yeah that's that's the plan we'll be on a flight most likely but yeah regardless of who gets what holiday it can't be the same

holiday that it is when you're single like it just it needs to change and be different in that and start that with the first time that you go so that's what I would say and if you're not ready for that don't start it don't do it just don't do it yet like it's just because I promise you it'll just breed resentment it'll like it'll just be an uncomfortable thing and then it becomes a tit for tat situation and the holidays are miserable and then you have a netflix rom-com minus the rom and the calm just sad yeah a drama but unless it's the bear which is sad but you know they keep they think because io's in it they said it's fine it's the fact that jeremy allen white won best actor for a comedy and there's not even any like i can understand

cousin winning because he is funny well jeremy allen white is like if it is a comedy he is the straight man then but it's not and but it's not a comedy it's not a comedy he would be the straight man because he's not like he's not funny and he should not be getting comedic awards you're taking this away from people that are actually making us laugh and not being sad and depressed we can be sad and depressed and laugh but like this is not that hacks great show that's funny but also there are sad and depressing parts but that show i am laughing out loud and they deserve to win best and you know what i'll even say is also a comedy which is contested fleabag dark comedy yes but i will still laugh but if you there are certain characters that if you

nominated them for comedy i would go that doesn't make sense but then other characters i go makes total perfect sense like fleabag herself the way that her delivery is it is a comedic delivery structured like a like that's the whole point yeah i can't with that okay that was something i get real riled up about it's fair but anyway we're gonna take another break when we get back we'll get into don't blame them at deja den insurance we know that when you own a nail salon everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe that's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs you put your heart into your company so we put our

heart into making sure it's protected get insurance that's really big on care find an agent today at dejardin.com slash business coverage real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers like ziggy sliced deli meat products for always 375 and get life brand pure vita shampoo or conditioner for eight dollars each at real canadian superstore When you're ready, we're ready with a whole world and more. We are back. It's time for Don't Blame Them. Don't Blame Them is where a listener will call in or write in with their own thoughts and feelings

from something we had aired on a previous episode. They might have personal experience with it or professional experience, or they just have some insight that they would like to share that maybe we didn't touch on. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I am a 24 years old she her calling in for a don't blame them from the most recent episode on September 12th titled take a promotion or try for a baby I'm calling about the call about dropping out of college or going to cosmetology school I did both I went to college and then after that I went to esthetician school so a little bit different but similar program my

school had a cosmetology program as well. So I have a little bit of insight to give. I definitely don't think the writer should drop out of school. I don't think that's the move. Having your degree is always something to fall back on. I have a business degree personally, so that helps me run my business. But a biology degree is always something to fall back on. One thing I hear a lot in cosmetology is, I've been doing this for so many years and my hands stop working and then women feel really stuck and don't know what to do. So it's always good have a degree to fall back on, especially if you can afford it. One thing I might suggest if you want to do both and you can financially afford it is, in my state at least, cosmetology school is

1,000 hours, and our full-time program at my school only took about three or four months to complete if you did it full-time. So if you were able to potentially do that in the summertime, depending on what your school schedule looks like, or potentially, you know, just do it in the summer and then be finishing up right at the beginning of your fall semester. That's maybe something you would plan for next summer to be finished with both and ready to go into the cosmetology field after you graduate. I really did like Megan and Melissa's suggestion about doing hair now, making an Instagram, building that profile,

because ultimately that's what's going to get you clients at the end of the day. Sometimes rough out here to get clients when you're first starting out, not going to lie. So I just think that dropping out of school would just not give you as many options in the future, and you are so young, like why close doors when you can leave them open? That's just my two cents. Love you.

Thank you for the podcast. Hope everybody's doing well. Awesome. I'm so glad because anytime we give advice, especially me as a college dropout, when I give advice to stay in school kids,

I'm always hoping that people were like, oh my God, that was relatable, did that whole thing. You should stay in school. Because I'm talking from like, hey, I actually didn't do that, but you should do that.

it's like that's fucking rich so thank you for that and um wildly impressive to go from college to cosmetology school she did it at the same time because they had a program in her school that's what i'm saying though but like it's just like you need a break from college and then to have your break be something that is also an edge like an education like that's that's it's just super impressive yeah yep so thank you for sharing thank you i hope um you get lots of clients and your business is booming yep all right well that's it for our show yee-haw sorry that was cultural appropriation what's that i can't help southern girl i can't help it your church girl i can't help it cowboy carter is pulsing through my veins every moment of the day

if you uh enjoyed this episode please leave us a review you can leave us a review on the podcast app or you can leave an individual review for a specific episode maybe this episode on spotify we also have a patreon we do live streams twice a month it's a wonderful way to make friends hang out with people we are also there you get to know us and if you're worried about being like new and it's like oh it's like a first day of school thing i promise you we i don't know the last time we've had a live stream without a new person there we always have new people everyone is super welcoming and so nice and fun and people are from all over the world and have met each other in real life and in person there's a whole group chat that they won't invite us to

but it's a great way to socialize um as well we've had people who's like i broke my arm can't do anything and it's like join the live streams um i hope you're doing well hope your arm is healed you know i'm thinking i'm just at the image the visual of you actually i don't know if you broke your arm i have the visual of you in your pool with your oh yeah i hope it's yeah i don't think you're supposed to cast for that long let us know how it's going and yeah it's a great place and you can also listen to the episodes ad free over on patreon and you can watch the video versions and also the price is going up next this is the last week where it's going to be at the current price those tiers will go away if you're already in those tiers you will get grandmothered in you'll

be able to stay in that tier so get in so you can be in the grandmothered in tier because next week it's donezo it's done yeah and we have not increased our prices ever ever and these were also covid prices yeah so we're accounting for a lot of inflation so like since we did this i've been upcharged on hulu about three times melissa the way that i just got that fucking email and you know what i cannot stand is when these goddamn companies say we're increasing our price it's not gonna be this much a month and i go will you remind me how much it was yeah because i want you to put those things side by side motherfucker yep perfect we will see you later yeah Goodbye.

Bye. Don't Blame Me is a production by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production sound and editing by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter.