Don't Blame Me! - DBM: Take a Promotion or Try for a Baby

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

This week Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on: Receiving a DM about your friend's alleged abusive partner If you you should say no to job Regret staying in a long distance relationship during college Dropping out of college to go to cosmetology school Don't Blame Them: If you can should study abroad (September 5, 2024) Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Need Advice? dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi welcome to the episode of don't blame me and we are in person in real life we are together we explain all of it in um our fisting friday episode yeah so go back and listen but we're together for the first time i don't know have we been together recording since after i returned back from arkansas i don't know because i've seen you socially so i have no idea about professionally i don't think so i don't know no idea you know what i realized your whole look is giving me today who i loved style icon and i think it's the hair shirt combo jeans the girlfriend from boy meets world what's her name trina angela uh angela i think her real name's yes but her character to me i was like this is an angela outfit cool like the pattern do you

know what i mean like because it's very like um is it early 2000s what like i mean when was that shown 90s because i think i watched reruns when she's in there she's she comes like later late 90s though oh my god i was obsessed with her her whole outfit her looks she looked like a stylistic wise like you know like the very cool dress cartoon characters but she's like a real person i was like where do you get these real clothes yeah that's the whole vibe thanks it's a compliment it's very high compliment thanks well you can also see for yourself on the patreon watch the video version you will also see a lot of leg and maybe some free feet the feet aren't in for now yeah i did repaint my toes this week um i like that color thank you the

part of the big the issue of my big toe it came off not all of it so we're the jury's still out but that's what that's what we're working with today you can literally drop that comment in any episode doesn't matter the year still valid honestly these feet are never good like there's there's always something wrong with the toes and that's fine but that's not what we're here today to talk about we're here to talk about unless you have the unit advice on something regarding toes i don't think this is going to be a toe heavy episode if you like to suck toes but your partner doesn't like it write it i don't like i don't like toes first of all i think it would be factually impossible for someone who has an issue with germs to be sexually interested

in sucking somebody else's toes no there's nothing about it like that's we've got it would have to be like like it's a whole sexual thing like foreplay is like washing feet but we can't like you can't even go anywhere like you have to be like sitting in bed with a foot bath and it gets washed and then dry and then you can't like go anywhere yeah but for me the grossest part is the nail yeah you don't clean under the nails no i think as someone who also like flosses 10,000 times a day i clean my fingernails and my toenails yeah multiple times a day also because this toe has some issues but regardless i think i'm just acutely aware of the fact that like these are the fingernails how long they stay on my nail even though you clean them like how long they

take to grow out and i go no matter what i do that nail has actually been around that nail seen some things that's true on your feet specifically one foot my left foot and my big toe so um yeah we're gonna give you some advice if you want to call in for episode you can leave us a voicemail through 106-940-976 international listeners you can send us an audio message meganpodcast at gmail.com and if you would like to write in you can use that same email address meganpodcast at gmail.com or you can send us a dm over on instagram for the written version keep it under 300 words for the audio version keep it under three minutes and if you age or over or have your parents permission we do ask that you write everything down even if you're

recording the audio and then just read that out loud promise it's easy please include your age other people's ages in the story that you are telling us and you can include your pronouns if you would like but include all relevant factoids great job thank you i started off into space the whole time just being like get it megan nail it you did it we're gonna coast these episodes so i'm not sitting in traffic all right first up we've got a voice memo hi eminem i have a dilemma about a close friend she her 29 sophie and information i got through dm about her now husband brad he him 34 sophie came to the u.s as an au pair a few years ago and started dating Brad last June, 2023. They got serious quickly and her visa was going to expire, so she planned

to return home briefly to apply for a student visa. Instead, she and Brad decided to get married in November after five months of dating. I'd only met him twice at that point and something felt just off. A mutual friend, Danielle, agreed with me. When Sophie told me they were engaged, I was excited and supportive for her, but hinted that she had other options. Right after the wedding, I actually moved across the country, relevant later. They also found out she was pregnant in February, due in October. Unplanned, but they both seemed thrilled. Fast forward to this summer, and I receive an odd message on Instagram from a girl, Tara, saying she was worried a friend of mine is, quote, a victim of abuse. It sounded like a scam, and Tara knew a lot about me despite my

socials being private. Before I could respond, she revealed it was about my friend Sophie and suggested multiple things that I should do. Tara and Brad had briefly dated and Tara said she talked to his exes, including an ex-fiance. Tara said other women made assault and cheating accusations and claimed he was secretly a QAnon-er and wants multiple wives, etc. She then asked me not to tell Sophie her name or that she shared any of this and gave me a list of recommendations for actions to take. I asked some follow-up questions and she then alleged he had a gun, which is almost impossible to get in my home state where they live. I started checking in more frequently with Sophie and saw her and Brad during a visit home this summer. I also saw her alone, and frankly, she seemed great.

In front of me, he always treats her very well, but I know abuse can be silent. With all this information, and given Sophie is very pregnant and doesn't have her own income, I don't know if I should tell her, at least right now. She also couldn't leave the U.S. before this week while her green card was processing. I do not know if Brad reads her messages or how they share finances. Being across the country, it's definitely harder to keep tabs. I immediately shared the info from the DMs with Danielle, who's keeping an eye out and lives near them. I've dropped hints to Sophie about the best savings accounts to open, etc., ways she could have her own money. So the question is, do I tell her? If so, when? I would have no hesitations about sharing this if she weren't

pregnant and I'd want to know if it were me. Regardless of whether he's being abusive toward her, it definitely seems like he has some red flags from his past. I trust women's stories but cannot verify most of the information as it's a few times removed and some of the messages were very odd. I want Sophie to be safe but telling a pregnant woman whose family is abroad all of this information doesn't seem like a great idea without first setting up some proper supports or options. Also, the timing of the DM was suspicious just after Sophie announced the baby on her public Instagram. She did just get her green card, which prompted me to write as she might now have better security and more options. Any advice for how to proceed? Thanks. I think like, I don't know,

for me, I'm always like risk versus reward. Like what's the likelihood? I would always rather tell someone something that might not be true rather than not tell them and have it end up being true. like I don't think there's any harm in her knowing this if it is not true and she really should know it if it is true and it's you didn't say where she's from so the only thing I would stress is in telling her if English is not her first language to go over with her what she's going to say to him like just depending on things that like how you are like how she's going to go about this if she's going to talk to him and if English is not her first language setting her up resources that are in her language as well like translations and all of that kind of stuff just

because time if it is true time is of the essence and Google Translate might not be as effective or whatever that is so making sure that those things have been pre-done in that instance but I mean like it's one of those things where you hope it's not true and it's obviously very hard for you to verify this information at the same time i don't think it's crazy that this woman wouldn't want to be identified and i think that the timing of it being when she's pregnant is the opposite of suspicious because that is the time where women are most likely to not only suffer the abuse from their male partners but like die like from that abuse yeah and this person's like now there's like a baby here so like let's protect the baby yeah you're at a she's at a higher risk now for that

abuse so if that abuse hadn't already kicked in it would now you know i think the big hurdle and complication is that you're not there with her and how can you communicate this without him finding out or hearing it i also think the part about her being away from her family it seems like like she might have like a good familial unit and if she does not want if she's only staying here for him then it actually might be a good thing that she can get away and go with her family because then he can't get there yeah no it's important to tell her before she gives birth because she can go give birth in a different in the country where she is from and that is the place of residence of that baby and that is the country of the citizenship of that baby especially

if her stuff hasn't fully processed yet yeah so and i think if you give birth overseas you get most places you get automatic citizenship there um but yeah i think you need to go on the fact that like something the first time you met him something about him fell off and and not just to you but to other people too and this this might be what that was and if it again if it wasn't everybody's safer do you know what I mean like it's just everybody is safer and I think that you know I guess to me I would say I would give her a face I would FaceTime her not necessarily planned I would FaceTime her randomly or and say like oh my god hey sorry I just want to see like if you catch up like do you have time like and then be like are you this

is kind of like I would phrase it of being like I have like a problem I need to talk to you about and imply that this is a imply it's like a fucking vagina problem something like yucky or gross or girly or something to be like can I just talk to you like really quick like are you alone something like that it's like this is like a body like a thing like that set that up in that instance and if you see her like looking off camera and she like can't get alone or like i'm not alone it's like okay well can you call me when you're alone in like five minutes and she's like i can't like and if it becomes that that to me is a i'm contacting her family and i'm contacting people who live there and someone's showing up yep because if you can't if you don't

know that you can have this conversation privately do not have that conversation because that again increases the risk exponentially and so then i would say do you have frequent flyer miles or can you contact her family can someone get there to have that conversation and or like you know see if it's like hey you want to come visit me like would love to have you come visit for a week like whatever that is like oh i can come help you but you're pregnant like i thought maybe we could have like a fun like girls weekend together like anything where you can get her separate separated from him and let her know and you'll know immediately once you tell her it's not going to be a shock to her if it like she'll know immediately whether this there's truth or basis

to this or there's none yeah yep agree he's probably showed signs already yeah if he hasn't done worse and just be persistent like just be persistent and i wouldn't just give it like a one-time try and setting up the resources is like i agree that's great but it's more about like making sure you can get her alone to talk to her about it like that's the most important thing and if you spend a lot of time collecting resources and then you're getting closer and closer to the due date and you haven't talked to her it might actually be longer to try and get her alone to have a conversation with her so resources are something that they can be imperfect like you could have just a couple you can have whatever you can come up with a game plan there in the

moment and come up with communication and you know whatever that is but that to me or oh you know another place you could get her a like a gift card for a like maternity massage or something and say i'm gonna call my friend when she arrives here by herself can she talk on the phone to you yeah that's good too something like anything that involves that he would not be there this is also invasive um but you can also find out the hospital that she's giving birth at and nurses and doctors they have a protocol that they will make sure the husband or the man whoever is out of the room and they will do a screening for domestic violence you can you know i say i don't know who their doctor is but i know that they're giving birth this hospital and i have

some worries about that i just want to make like sure that that questionnaire is um there there's some time taking with that yeah also i would recommend contacting the domestic abuse hotline it's now you can just go to the hotline.org so it doesn't really show what's in your search history that you can also put it on private but they also probably have like resources with where she is since you can't physically be there and they might have like maybe share this story and get their thoughts on it and then they might have someone that is there that could also help yeah that's like one of those things that like they're not just resources for the people who are suffering at it it's also to help people who want to help other people and they have you can call you can

also like do a chat and they also have text messaging yeah so this is like a a tough thing to like weigh on your conscience but as someone who's in a long-time relationship if anyone ever suspected that about like anyone I was with true or false I would never be upset if it was false you know what I mean like I just I wouldn't like if someone was like oh they're just doing it for clout or it's like a you know a disgruntled ex or whatever that is I would all like I'm someone I'm always like the time it is the times that it is not happening there is no harm done then yep specifically like with going to the partner so I yeah and I and it can happen to anyone and so like i think that that's a good thing is not just trying to like be like well there are all

these things that could make it not true or whatever that is to me that that kind of like incident those like little things are not worth it to kind of come through because you can't always tell or always know and so i think having a blanket across the board support um is the way to go yep oh but i'm sorry you're dealing with that and i hope everything goes well and her birth and if all else again like they will do a screening of that in the hospital all right we're gonna take a break we're back from our break and we're gonna get into the rest Hey, Megan and Melissa.

I need advice about big things happening in my life. I am 30, she, her, Leo. Love that for you. So I just got married. My husband and I have been together 10 years and planning our wedding the last two. We're basically married without being on paper. We lived together, shared money,

and bought a house before even getting engaged. We're even ready to start trying to have a baby. Super excited for our new adventure. So a week ago, I got pulled into my boss's office and was told I was up for a promotion. I've been in my own little bubble aside from making sure work is done correctly i basically checked out so i was super surprised the money increase would be substantial but also

comes a lot of travel if we weren't trying to get pregnant i'd take the job in a heartbeat now i'm not so sure any advice is greatly appreciated take the job yeah and then get pregnant and then go on maternity leave right all this not a problem not a problem not a problem no they're your employer you are employee and currently your employee of the month right so yeah and also like you're up for a promotion but are you actually going to get it you're going to get it because we believe in you yeah you're going to get it and you deserve it and you are not it's not a bait and switch that you're going to get that is first of all none of their fucking business it's against the law and it should not dictate and legally cannot dictate how much you are compensated how much

you are paid or if you are eligible for promotions or if you maintain in your role and the second you become pregnant you are a protected well they say women are protected class but once you are pregnant they actually care a little bit more because um they care about uh women a lot more when they're carrying babies and so in that instance if they fire you boy oh boy are you in a street for a big old payday and then that lawsuit don't have to travel at all no sit in your mega mansion on your fucking yachts martinis you and you don't tell anyone at all everyone i know who works a traditional not even necessarily like a corporate but yeah corporate like traditional job the way that they were not saying they are pregnant up about a week and a half until their

maternity leave and i was like again like my boss is leaving me funny today i'm like do you think it might be for the fact that you are seven and a half months pregnant and they can't say anything and they can't say anything yep yep yep so um yeah i know it might feel like that you want to do them a solid but just know that they will never do the same thing and it will you will always be met with you doing things out of courtesy and them doing things for the pocket like it just it will never be matched even if you think it will and you do for your pocket and for your future child what an exciting time in your life i love this for you me too sending you um what's that thing they say when you try and get pregnant a fertile womb i don't know no it's something like

cutesy that's like as opposed to being like hopey raw dogs are real good like it's like trying to make it be like you know we're like it's one of those things like sending you like baby dust or baby which to me sounds sounds like some white people stuff i'm unfamiliar with it is it's the same as it's the wine mom mugs like don't talk to me till i've had my cup of coffee so sending you um just thoughts just straight up there however conceiving i don't know how you're conceiving but sending you just all right next one oh my god i can't the start of this is crazy hi eminem i'm a longtime listener first time color because i'm finally legal please don't I just turned 18 and go by she, her pronouns.

I'm about three weeks into my freshman year at college, and I'm starting to realize, A, I may have made a mistake staying in a relationship with my longtime boyfriend who was three hours away. When he got a full ride to a different college, we thought about taking a gap year in our relationship to accommodate to college and enjoy the experience. I was fully against it, afraid he might fall in love with someone else. now that i'm here i'm wondering if i made the wrong decision i want to follow somebody else i went to my first party and kind of stood around when my friends were grinding on guys because i felt like it was borderline cheating now that classes have started it's been hard on both ends to make nightly facetime calls like we agreed this is also the first time i've really noticed i've only been with one guy i am thinking taking a gap year is a good idea now that i'm feeling

like I'm missing now I'm not sure what to do so when you're saying gap year you mean gap from dating not a gap from school right oh no I thought it was phrased in the sense of I'm going I want to go to Italy and like what do you mean I can't enjoy Italian breadstick yeah okay that's what I thought yeah so gap year from dating no no I thought it meant that I actually want to study abroad in Italy and what do you mean I can't fuck Italians give me the exact thing that you think this person i think that they're saying i want to i'm noticing that i am at college and i'm attracted to some of these guys here and beyond that i want to study abroad so once i get out of my small college town i'm abroad i bet there's gonna be other hot guys there that i would like

to have sex with got it so i think it's both i think it's like here's the thing we've said this numerous times for everyone that's called in for a long time apparently who have said this we've said this exact situation would happen yep yep yep so happy for you girly i'm also happy for you i hope that you break up with him not because he's a bad guy but because you have said you've only been with one person you can't even grind on somebody without thinking that it's cheating you are sitting in your classes looking around and like look at all this fresh untouched meat i could be enjoying but i can't because i'm a loyal gal loyalty is always great but sometimes you recognize i can't be i actually don't need to be i can be loyal but i can also be loyal

to myself uh-huh and myself wants what's here yeah and again that's collegiately imagine if you actually hop on a plane to a different country and you nothing i think you're calling in since you've been listening for so long i think you're calling in because you want permission to end things yeah and this is like a very like realistic way to go about it and like we have no qualms like whatsoever of like staying together and then recognizing oh bad call like and not doing it sometimes like you need to do that to yourself to figure out if you are the exception to the rule and it's fine to be the rule like that's totally fine and i think the whole thing of like worrying about if they're gonna be interested in other people that's so fucking

natural before you realize like oh shit i am like my bad so i yeah i would just you know what you got to do and if you're feeling this now already you're seeing how it's hindering your college experience and making you hold back i know one one fucking girl one girl who stayed with her high school boyfriend friend all through college they were together after college and they're married now happy as can be the way that she was and how her relationship was it was nothing like anybody else's who was with a high school partner like it was it was so wildly different and we also all knew him he was there almost every other weekend she'd go on certain weekends like she'd still go out she'd still have fun and he transferred to the school like but their relationship was like

that of an old married couple already there wasn't any of this like oh i kind of want to whatever like they were so fucking established and it was it's just different and like she'd never had any fucking doubts he never had any fucking doubts so just know like if this was supposed to be a long distance forever all through college partner you wouldn't have these feelings my sister she had a boyfriend in high school they went to different colleges broke up had a good time came back together they have three kids now so if this is who you're supposed to be with you'll get back together totally it's never about the person it's always about the timing and if you stay together with the right person for the wrong time they become the wrong person they can still

be the right person as long as it's the right time. So like you can take a hiatus, you can take a break or whatever that is. But I always think of it's a line of like, throw out the milk before it gets spoiled. If you keep drinking it past its best by date, you're fucked. So like, don't do that. You don't want your stomach messed up. No, no, no, no, no. You want your insides gutted in a different way. Enjoy college. Of the second you turn 18, it was something we were able to make be sexual okay we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back it's not quick we will take a break and we'll be right back we are back from the break hey megan and melissa i'm writing in as i need advice on what to do

about wanting to drop out of college and go to cosmetology school i'm 20 and i go by she her pronouns i am currently in college majoring in biology i've always been interested in hair and do not see myself doing anything with this degree the issue is telling my parents i'm a first generation college student and they were so proud of me when i got in i know they will be disappointed how do i go about telling them is it even worth me telling them i think it could be i could tough it out for the next two months and get my degree but i know i'll be unhappy next year oh sorry i was like two months bitch i was like what the fuck are you even saying i think i could tough it out uh for them for the next two years and get my degree but i know i'll be unhappy love the pod

thanks if you take my write-in have you ever thought about cosmetic chemistry i that's what brooke logan on bold and beautiful did she studied biology i love that i i watch a lot of those people on tiktok who like talk about the science aspect of it here's the thing as someone who did not go to college and is saying like you don't have to go to college you don't have to go to college or whatever as I get older I do feel a little bit of like guilt that like specifically on my dad's side of the family like he was the first one who ever went to college and then his my brother went to college and then I said nope so like there is I understand so like that's not even like a first person in the family I and I feel guilt for that aspect of it so I think that

like honor that feeling that that's like a very that doesn't make it doesn't make you bad or whatever but it's like it's a common thing and I would say to this is like cosmetology school is expensive to pay for and the ROI of it is not always fantastic the other thing I would say is like cosmetology school is not for everybody you can love hair you can love makeup but sometimes the school in itself it's just like not it and like depending on where you are you might not have like multiple locations and different things. Like it's hard. I know people who work in hair and makeup and that and like cosmetology school almost broke them. Like it, it not having, it's not necessarily a surefire fall back plan in that sense, where I think like, if it's the

first thing you try and you go, don't like it, I'm going to apply to college. But I think once you're, I think giving up on college to do it, you might not find enjoyment in it in the same way because it will stop being a hobby and a passion and it will be like school so I think it would always be there but I it also to me really depends on what the finances are like for college like if you've taken out loans and you could not take out loans for the next two years then yes but if you've already taken out a lot of money on this or it's already being paid for or whatever that is like I I really believe college should be a financial driven decision most of the time yeah as somebody that has his biology degree and is doing nothing with it

it is a good fallback because one it's on my resume for anything and then it's a conversation starter for everyone and then they ask about like my journey to where i am now i think you're still like if you're you've still got two years left if biology isn't what you want to do i'm guessing you've taken a lot of just like basic your um what's it called yeah your general education classes so maybe there's something else that you enjoy that you can transfer into if you've still got two years left you still have plenty of time like i know a lot of people that i know that went to college but also are doing hair now they have business degrees and they're using the business degrees to own their own company and then you know written out the booths in there but and like

if they want to do hair they'll still do hair but like that's not their primary source of income it's everybody else because they're managing the business but at the end of the day if let's say you dropped out and then you start cosmetology school and you hate it school's always there you can come back to yeah I think it has to do with what is your threshold for grinding it out because that's not going to change in cosmetology school it will just be different and there's like no security with any degrees in general but I will say like having a science-based degree is the one that will ultimately still holds the most amount of weight and as much as you yes you can totally go back to school depending on your program depending on what that what it all is you might

find that you don't have the you might have two more years left of grinding in you and you have to choose are you going to grind that out in the rest of college or cosmetology school and i think that if it was if it's a financial decision that you can do call like you can do college if that was my case if I could financially like I'd be like yeah I that would have not been a worry or a question or anything and also if I could have like accommodate if I was like I could see myself graduating I could not see myself graduating I knew I couldn't I like knew I could not do these big lectures I couldn't like my it was unmedicated and getting no accommodations I was like there's just no way I can never envision myself and like this sounds bitchy but like my

friend's parents were like she's not gonna graduate like there's no way and not in like a sense of like it's like this is just not for her she can't this is not how she does not work in this system and like it's just it's true and also it doesn't work for my personality but like my brain it does not work in that system as it was so that for me was never an option but if you erased all of that and asked me if I wanted to if I could add two more years if I could get a degree I would and like it's just something that like I will never if I ever want to switch what I do or change of pivot that will always be a barrier of entry that is the highest barrier of entry it's really fucking hard to go back and get a two to four like a four-year degree whatever that is

so but also again biology maybe if it's like you switch your major to something that's like you don't mind as much and then you can do like a longer extended version of cosmetology school like i know people who did both and like it took a hell of a lot like longer and it was hard but you could do that and also like you can like get a hell of a lot of experience now advertise like girls in like sororities and offer to do hair for like formals and like all of that kind of stuff like you can get fucking good serena from love island she talked about how i think starting in high school but she did it and like i think she did in college too she was braiding hair like as her like side business gig and like she always has that to go back to and go back on but like

you're able to you have to hone in on clientele and build your and do all of those things like just getting that like cosmetology license isn't a guarantee yeah and this could be a good way to work your way to building a client roster yeah my niece who is 17 does like all her friends here she and they pay her and you know that's the school she'll have in college too yeah but like even like if if you do want to use your like stay in your degree like a lot of people i went to school with depending and going back to what you were saying about like a cosmetic chemist because l'oreal is based in arkansas and so they work there in the um so they get to do a little bit of both yeah i i think there's just no what if you if your degree was something so zero overlapping

with what you wanted to do. But I think like there is an overlap and there's overlap to the point of like a higher base salary kind of a thing and like more options. So yeah, I just think that like for me, dropping out of college should be because you have to, not because you want to. And the have to can be for any reason. It's like I like cannot do this anymore. Like this, I will not survive this. I can't do this. That is what I think. But I just think that you already did so much work. You already got... So far, you've already accomplished so much. And even getting in is such a huge feat. But unfortunately, once you reach a certain age, getting into college does not mean anything if you didn't graduate, which sucks. But yeah, I just think that you've

got your whole life for the rest of this. But there's so few years people have a four-year college degree grind in them so i would recommend sticking it out which i know is hypocritical because i dropped out granted but i dropped out of uc reject for uh i don't even know what i was majoring in theater maybe something with that right yeah i think so but i never even got past gen s so i have no way yeah i have no idea but like there's differing levels so all right well now we're going to get into don't blame them don't blame them is where a listener will write in our calling with their own advice pretending to hit call we aired on a previous episode so they might have personal experience they have their own thoughts and feelings that they would

like to share and this is from last week's episode entitled sun kissing your naked body and this person says i have a don't blame them for the person who had trouble deciding whether or not to study abroad. I related to the caller's thought process so much as I chose not to do an exchange year because of very similar practical reasons. So consider me the ghost of Christmas yet to come when I tell you I regret not studying abroad. Now I'm graduating and looking for jobs abroad, but it's a lot more difficult than doing an exchange program would have been. Even though hassle with your apartment or pets seems laborsome in the end they are minor things to sort through i obviously don't know that you would also regret not going but i think you are likely going to

regret making a decision based on insignificant factors without giving yourself a chance to actually think if you want to do it think to yourself if everything magically worked out without any thought or effort on your part and you could wake up in the new country on the first day of the program what you want to be there all the best to the caller i hope you find clarity that's a really great way to frame it very sweet yeah love that i'm still jealous i didn't study abroad i'm not but i never wanted to you also got to have you already had your italian i did i went for two weeks italy sorry yeah went for two weeks during my senior year so it's kind of Like I studied, I studied abroad.

You studied the body. Well, we hope you all enjoyed this episode. Don't forget to write in or call in for an upcoming episode so we can give you some wonderful, amazing, life-changing advice. Follow us over on Instagram and you can listen to the rest of our shows. Also, I've started putting up little polls on Spotify. Oh. The last poll was, um, who's hotter?

young al gore andy sandberg and i forgot who third choice was but someone we talked about no it was somebody that was in that same range we know like you know it's just not a fair it's a losing battle no no no it was somebody that we talked about in that same oh um um um gavin newsome yes that's exactly who it was similar fonts i disagree i think gavin newsome is in his own but yes but i i mean as opposed to um bill clinton yeah yeah sorry bill sorry william jefferson clinton i'm not that sorry i'm just sorry for hillary anyways we hope you enjoyed and we will we'll see you next time we don't have one for this goodbye Bye.

Don't Blame Me is a production by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production sound and editing by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter.