Don't Blame Me! - Dodging Your One Night Stand

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

Meghan and Melisa give advice on: Update: Leaving your child's father Contacting a guy you like Hiding a part of sexuality for a man Confronting your boyfriend's sisters Hiding out from your neighbor you hooked up with Don't Blame Them - Maintaining adult friendships Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Subscribe to our new show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-am-i-wrong/id1591757891 Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody welcome back to another episode of don't blame me where i megan and me melissa we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice all the while looking so absolutely stunning and what'd you say we look like today i said we look like sorority girls at our founder's day we do check out our patreon we're in a florals for spring how groundbreaking well on this podcast you call in you leave us voicemails and we give you the best advice you've ever heard and it's free unless you want to give us your money in which case great go to patreon.com exactly go to patreon.com um ad free and if you want our venmos it is uh but don't ask me to pay you on venmo for the random people i told you people used to do that to me yeah

i can't people he's like i'm a fan of the podcast give me five dollars why excuse me i'm the one that's putting in the work you don't have to work to listen i was telling mons the other day i forget what it was but someone was asking us for something maybe it was our merch or something of being like how like would you consider like donating some of the proceeds to like benefit like women in business and you were like we are the women in business benefit us we're not making a lot like we need money like help me i was telling mons that i was like remembering how funny that was it was like us that's the women in business that you're supporting you want to support a woman-owned business we're here here hello we are not making the uh call her daddy

money hi we're giving fucking advice it's wonderful it's amazing and you're probably wondering how we're qualified how are we qualified we're qualified because one day our heads popped out either through i don't know how you were born c-section vaginally okay so our heads popped out of two vaginas and then we swam out and then i shat my mom and then they did an emergency to get all the shout out and um then and then she formed the vagina which you and then i was like i'm the shit and quite literally and then i mean these were eight years apart but we can't do the math good job that's not right okay seven years apart math is overrated close enough yeah it's not algebra so i can sit

here and work it out get your rocks off i'm doing some fucking equations um but seven years apart there the it was like i was born and it was like greatness and then you were born and it was like greatness we were on when you were born i was living in tennessee you were in california and then we just like a sun shone shines sparkled over colorado because that's kind of the midpoint and mott's mott's was there he was already born he was already born by the time you came but like that was part of you um so this sounds like a fucking power rangers origin story you're bit by a radioactive spider shined over colorado as i said and then sparks just shot all across the u.s of a and then someone said oh my gosh something just quaked the earth and we

don't know what it is but then 30 no it's not because you're not even 30 yet 25 years later we met in an office where i go those two are fucking and i go not yet and it was just magic from there on it was i love that that was like a beautiful if like we were rich and we had money i would pay an animator to like draw that like that is like our that is like our what is the first part part of the bible called genesis yeah that's like the is that right origin that's the yeah that is like us there's a car called a genesis too right we can't you get that we can't get into my feelings about people who name cars and who pick the colors for all of them okay um anything that you wanted to add before update oh my gosh we have an update this

i think everyone's gonna be very excited to hear from great and uh that's all we'll say and you'll hear from her. So my original call, I had called about my father of my child, his issues with money and not being able to save money, not being able to financially support us by any means. My son, when I called was, I think around four months old and had some health issues. And it was just kind of a concern of mine to his issues with money and handling money. and along with that his mother and her issues with crossing boundaries and um as far as bringing people over when they were sick and just doing weird things like sticking her hands in his mouth it's just weird things i remember um yes i guess update uh i i moved home i i listened to your

call and it just kind of like resonated with me because I remember Megan was like okay this is not going to get better because first off he kind of has mommy issues which we know well and the mother had issues with crossing boundaries and that was just something that no matter how much communication we had it just there was nothing there was it was never going to get better and along with that I stayed with him for two and a half years and in that time no exaggeration he had 32 jobs what how because like if somebody hurt his feelings this is the thing like he had the type of personality like if somebody genuinely hurt his feelings or like constructive criticism he took that offensively and then decided that like he could no longer work there and so he just

quit his job oh my god did he like formally quit or just not show up just not show up that's what yep yep I was like um I can't even imagine doing that like I gave a month and a half notice to my job before I moved out of state because I'm like please don't hate me but yeah I also for like four months I saved up money um into a separate account and then I uh bought a house so oh my congratulations that's amazing thank you yeah so now I'm close to my family I have a great support system I have an awesome son that yeah he's he's so awesome I should show you guys he's but yeah he's you know he's ready to hit the road wow yeah I'm so happy for you like i remember that call and i just like remember the i i remember you were at your

with like wit's end like it was like it was a lot and like we have calls all the time where we talk about like we feel like we're giving people people are calling in like can i have permission to like get out of this and i'm so glad and like you bought a fucking house like this is like a couple months ago you're with a guy who like cannot keep a job or save fucking money and like his like shit fucking mom and like i'm just like so impressed by you and like this is just like amazing and i'm so happy for you yeah you did it like you you had you set a goal you knew that there was a problem you set a goal you figured out what you needed to do to help yourself and your son and you you did it like you crushed it like you fucking cried you didn't just get out

you like bought a fucking house like you like and like you're closer to family like that's just like yeah that's like yeah and your son's really lucky to have you like that's like that's amazing and like yeah relationships can be really hard that people feel like you know that they're they're stuck with partners but for kids but like you're you do that you you did like literally the best thing you ever could for your kid and like you're he's gonna grow up to like know that like i can get if i'm not happy i can get myself out of a situation and like i can be the cause and the driving force like behind like the changing things and to make decisions for myself in my life like that's amazing yeah to anybody that's listening if you're a single mom when you're in a relationship

you can do it on your own because you're already doing it on your own just you're carrying around dead weight so like if you if you can get out do it I know that it's obviously not that easy for everybody but like it's it's so much better just you'll find your footing basically yeah and it might take longer than four months but like you can you can yeah like that's it's that's like really really great advice and I hope people take that to heart because this yeah this is like the epitome of like what the proof in that is right well thank you for calling for giving us an update and all that and I'm like I can't stress enough like how happy I am for you that like not only you out of that situation but like you're in i guess so you're in a way better place like you

took so many steps forward um and that's like really hard and like you should be like so fucking proud of like everything that you accomplished and yeah like just thank you for sharing this with everybody too thank you i appreciate you guys because that all i heard was that episode kind of going back my head like girl it's never gonna change yeah it can be a little harsh no i needed that that's all right well i'm glad yeah me too amazing thank you for the update thank you we'll let you take them home yeah have fun enjoy being off of work yeah holy fucking shit if you watch the video version yes we're wearing different outfits anyways so fucking happy for her and i hope that everyone anyone who does relate or might relate to her situation in

the future takes what she said to heart because i think that's like really fantastic advice that a lot of people would benefit from ugly whoo okay so should we get into some calls hi Megan Melissa I am a 26 year old she her um and I am calling and asking for dating advice I recently got out of a two-year relationship in July and I forgot how hard it was kind of putting myself out there in the dating world I'm not the biggest fan of dating apps because I always get too nervous to meet up with people it's hard for me to feel 100% me and like comfortable in that situation I would much rather meet someone in person or through a friend if possible, but I'm also at a point where I'm not really searching anything out, but if I meet someone, I'm not

going to say no. That I like, I'm not going to say no. Last weekend, I was hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend, and his friends reached out asking if we all wanted to hang out. Everybody is around the same age, 26 years old. Two of his friends were there, and I sort of hit it off with one of them. He was extremely nice, and we had a lot in common, so the conversations were really comfortable and interesting.

like on the base level he kind of was everything that i'm looking for um we have the same political views um he was really cute um we like i said our conversations were really really good i felt like he was really engaged and he was asking me personal questions to keep everything going um and on our way back to the car steven walked faster to catch up with me so we could walk next to each other and talk some more this morning or like that morning they reached out um to the three of us and we got breakfast together um the three of us were at like a big table first and then that guy and the other friend showed up and the guy that I liked sat right next to me um I could be looking too deep into this but that kind of gave me a feeling that

he might be interested after breakfast we all went back to my friend's apartment to watch a football game um and we just continued hanging out but nothing really came of it and I didn't really get his contact information um I wish I could have just had one more one-on-one conversation with him and we could have exchanged numbers but there wasn't a great moment for me to sneak that in how would you go about like this situation if you're wanting to continue talking to someone or potentially hanging out with them again he doesn't have social media so I can't just follow him on Instagram or something my friend's boyfriend said he would give me his number but I'm not sure if it would be weird for me to just text him should I wait until another potential group hangout kind

of happens and play it out then. I wanted to suggest maybe my friend's boyfriend talk to him and feel out the situation to see if he said anything about me. But the three of us felt that that could be kind of weird too. I don't want to make the situation weird if I'm looking too deep into everything and reading it wrong. I also have a deep fear of rejection, which I know I need to get over and work on, but it's really hard. If you have any advice or have ever been in a situation like this i would really appreciate it thank you so much you talked through everything we just got to put the pieces together now yeah um i think i would if i was in your situation at the point that you're in right now i would

have the friend's boyfriend that's friends with him just say ask him hey would it be okay if i gave oh yeah such and such your number I think that's the easiest way to do it without like feeling like it was some type of you know it could just that shows that you're interested to in potentially hanging out yeah I think that's that's the most I would get the friend's boyfriend involved that's it yeah because anything further than that like it's just like no offense to your friend's boyfriend um but you don't know that he's necessarily the most reliable narrator and like when you add another person in this kind of game of telephone not only do you not know if like what they're saying is they're accurately translating that

to you but there also might be like filtering it yeah or even just like how they're talking about you they might be like miss selling what you're like it's just like it can get messy and like not super direct nor like concise and helpful but yeah i think that's the most i would do it just be like hey like would you see if like it's cool if i gave him like if can you ask him if it's okay like if you gave me his number he might not ask him but like you then at least you know and then but also he could be you know if he liked i hope he likes you it seems like yeah like you like the your friend's boyfriend likes you like as a person um you know it'll be like maybe he doesn't actually ask him but he just gives you the number anyway but that means that

that's a good sign too yeah that it's like i don't need like i know he'll be fine with this like this isn't something that like i can make an excuse if it wasn't like but i think that like i mean this with love if you you have to decide your fear of rejection where are you at in that journey because if you are like not if you can't take potential rejection right now don't play like don't participate in it i've also been like there are times like even like work stuff i've been there where i've like told our manager or something where i'm like i like legitimately like if i have this even when it comes to auditions and stuff i'm like if there are constructive notes give them to me if they're not constructive i don't want them and you need to filter them through at least one

other person. Cause like sometimes people just say things without thinking about other people's feelings or thinking about how other people, if I can't change anything about it, if I can't do anything about it, it's just going to make like hurt me. I don't want to hear it. And you, if you're at the place where you're like, none of it will be beneficial to me. If there's nothing I can improve, if there's not, there's no reason if it's just like, Oh, he doesn't think you're a whatever it is even if it's no reason behind it just know your own like threshold for like what amount of rejection you can take right now because a fear of rejection like it's one of those things it's like a slow step forward and forward and forward and it's inevitable we're all gonna

face rejection all the time um but it we need to face it in doses where we can get back up and if you're at a specifically low point in your life i would focus on nurturing that before pursuing um things where you have more heavy feelings involved even this is like you have a crush and like i think of a crush as a heavy feeling like it's like light and fun but like that is like it takes up your mind like having a crush can be fun and also crushing like so i i would you know do some self-inventory on that but yeah you said that you're ready to date you said you don't want to get on the dating apps but like you want it to be introduced through a friend or something but you're you're wanting if you you're not prepared for rejection that means that you're wanting

your potential partner to do all the work to initiate getting numbers and moving to a 101 but like if this is what you're ready for it doesn't matter who takes the initiative first at least you know like let's say he does reject you yeah at least you know then that you know this isn't the person for you right now and you can move on to the next person but if you do nothing then you're just going to be constantly pining for them and you'll most likely end up building people up in your head and exactly like that like there's something even if it doesn't end up the way you did it like you want it to and he does reject you you have a checklist and you have a circumstance where you want to meet someone and you came up with that and you've been out of your

relationship for i don't know how exactly how long you said you were out of your relationship but like within that timeline you've already found someone who checks off these things and you met in a situation all of that all that should do if this is not the person for you is reinforce you you that like that there are multiple people out there you could have these feelings again like i think that's the best thing after a breakup when you have a crush on someone like it doesn't pan out that doesn't matter all that matters is like look you can like someone again like you can have those feelings about someone again and like that can keep you going and like recognizing that but yeah like you also don't know that like he has doesn't have a fear of rejection and like you

have to put yourself out there if you want anything and at any point in a relationship you can face rejection like there isn't you don't get into the clear at all and that's like something that you have to work on yourself before you get into a relationship. But the best way to do any of this stuff is just to practice. And I know you don't like dating apps, but like, let's just say if this doesn't work out how you want it to, I think facing rejection on a dating app is a lot easier than facing rejection in person. And like that might just help you with having no intention of meeting someone on a dating app. It might help you feel more comfortable with rejection with someone who you don't ever have to see again, because you are kind of giving yourself a little

bit of higher stakes in said rejection you know right like i would feel it would be a little bit harder for me to feel rejected from someone who's like in a friend group that i'm also in but you don't know unless you try and if you wait till the next time just how life works he's someone else is gonna have met him and like they're not gonna have waited like the timing is timing is key but also timing is key and time is also never perfect so like you said that you didn't have a time or an opportunity to like, don't worry about being awkward. Like life is always going to be awkward. Like things are always going to be awkward and they're going to be weird. Like you just kind of have to grin and bear it. And you get through that to get into a relationship to find

somebody you really like. Like I'm sure Mats and I felt so awkward around each other at the very beginning about things like, I don't even think about that now. It's just kind of a means to an end. Like every first date is going to be awkward every second day. It's always going to be like that and trying to avoid awkwardness is just like it's never it's never gonna happen right you just have to know what what can you handle in said moment so hit him up immediately immediately immediately and also having no social media is a green flag but also he doesn't have like a secret family right i don't know but i don't think so but also green flag but my research is limited now i know it's hard you know what better for you though the ultimate green flag though is

you have it you have social media you just like never post much exactly you post for your anniversary i said what i didn't remember i didn't know he said to me you were like what do you do and i was like what are you talking about you're like are you guys like in a fight to see in the doghouse or something i was like no why you're like oh he just posted and i go it's our anniversary and you're like oh i was like why are you asking me this what did he do nothing no you i think you said what did moths do this weekend but i was like he went to scotland his parents were what oh i thought you're right him okay hi i'm a 23 year old girl that goes by she her i'm calling today to get advice on dating after a breakup that happened a year ago so i live

in la and i met a guy at a club he's 28 and goes by see him he has a four-year-old daughter and works in the NBA. I know it's a non-conventional way to meet someone but we started talking and realized we have so much in common. He lives in Ohio and moved to LA in February for the time being it's perfect for the both of us because I feel like we're establishing an emotional connection first rather than a physical one. The complex I'm having with myself is creating a balance of how much power I want to give away to someone in a new relationship because in my last one I gave everything away. I've been going to therapy for about eight months and recently stopped because my therapist felt like I had all the tools to go without it

and use what I learned on my own. She still does offer any time I need to talk or vent. For example, we had a conversation about my Instagram because I post risque photos, and for his job, he has to have a professional look to him. He reassured me that he doesn't see me any less or as if I'm not professional. He has told me in the past it was an issue with others,

when he wouldn't post or repost them because of what his colleagues could think. He told me if posting me is something I would want, if I could compromise and go on private so his colleagues could view him a certain way. He explained to me that he is a black male and worked hard for his career and doesn't want anything to compromise that. I see my Instagram as a creative outlet for my sexuality and confidence, but I feel like I'm being judged for it. In my therapy, I had realized how much of myself I had lost in my last relationship

leaving me with no friends no confidence and no self-love coming out of it I worked so hard to build up every part of my life again and so I guess my question is how much is too much to compromise if something makes my partner more comfortable and how much is not I'm not sensitive I am an Aquarius and I've been a long-time listener for about like four years and I really do appreciate you guys in the podcast thank you so much well we love Aquarians on this podcast do we as an Aquarius sun and an Aquarius rising and Leo and Aquarius are sister signs we love we hate Aquarius men love Aquarius they're different no Aquarius men are like not okay I don't understand yeah they're it's red flags so you didn't hear us whispering during this

but we were we sometimes we narrate along with the call um and I think we both said he's not a player no there's no there's no way he's not a player also as soon as you said that like he was from ohio and he moved to la i was like you are making this pool so fucking small for us to figure out who this is but then you talked about and i was like oh okay you're corporate and i think and she said he works in wait for the nba he she didn't say he like he's in the nba no i know i thought she was trying to be subtle at first yeah also you said this is i know this is an unconventional way to meet somebody la in your 20s that's a whole bunch of people yeah i met at a at a club that's i met drake at a club yeah but you weren't dating him yes it's hard i

understand like the compromise how you feel like you're compromising yourself because you see that your social media as a creative way to express yourself but i completely understand where he's coming from without a doubt he's um if he's working for the nba he must be like some type executive in the corporate office um maybe a coat he could be like some type of coach too either way like any of the people that aren't players anybody that's gotten up has to have a certain decorum about what they're doing like i think they have a little code of conduct they have a code of conduct and they have like rules that you have to abide by so if you want to date him like you're gonna have to if he if you want him to post because he doesn't it's not like he

doesn't he's not against posting you it's just that he can't post and then tag you and then it gets back to the people that he works for and then especially like being a black man in like a position like this he's gonna he's under even more of a microscope and they're gonna judge any of his actions no matter what so i understand that this is hard for you but i think it might be even harder for him yeah i don't want and i don't want to like minimize what you're going through at all it's just that this is his life this is his livelihood this is his money so he can't he he has to be on his best behavior at all times so he can't he can't compromise any of that yeah and he's a dad like that is also like when his kid grows up there's gonna be rules about what the

kid can and can't post or if the kid is on private like when you are in a position where um i mean the nba might be slightly less white than most of the corporate um at athletic stuff but like maybe by a point zero zero zero zero one percent like they're that's why most of those court specifically the nfl and uh the nba they're if you look at the breakdown of the players and then you look at the corporate and who's calling all of these shots it's you know very very very white and corporate um so his anyone becomes anyone who's attached to him becomes like an extension of him so like it's not about from my perspective it's not about like what you do or if it's something that he likes or like agrees with i think like your feelings are so valid in

this and honestly like you've done made all this progress in therapy and like specifically like having the revelation of I felt like I gave away so much of my power in my last relationship and this is something that you find really empowering it honestly just might be like you're not compatible for where his job is at that doesn't mean that you as people aren't compatible but also I think if you are really you really like him and you're really interested I think having a conversation of being candid of being like this is like triggering me and reminding me of my last relationship like could we unpack this because he could tell you like I don't agree with any of the code of conduct thing like it's I don't agree with these certain things that they like want me but if

he's a coach like specifically and like they get photographed and stuff like I don't like that I have to wear this I don't think I have to dress up with this I don't like that I can't wear like um certain brands of like basketball shoes I don't like I can't wear like tennis shoes on certain things because it's not seeming professional like I don't like that I can't have my facial hair this way I don't like I can't have my hair this way like it could be like maybe if you have a conversation with him and he can explain more that like because for you this is new and like you're not a part of his work life that you're only hearing this like this might be one of a thousand fucking things that he has to factor into this right and it might be helpful for you to have it

not feel personal when you can hear the things that like he has sacrificed for this career that he doesn't agree with or something that like for a kid sacrificing that it's like oh we have to have like our nannies sign like an something I have to hire a certain like I have to hire a nanny who signs an NDA or like whatever it is that is like the privacy and um the outward image of this but again I don't think that like I think I would feel uncomfortable and like kind of like a little bit weirded out by that but it doesn't mean that like that person is any like less of a great person it just might mean that like we're not compatible for where we're at in our lives um so I don't fault you for like feeling like this is you giving away a lot of your power

um and I also don't fault you if you felt like you wanted to do if you're like instincts are tingling and it feels like I wonder if like this is a line he's giving me because he like you know is has someone else that he doesn't want he wants to make it so I don't ever want him to tag me you know what I mean when someone like tells you like I can do this you just have to do this and it's like well I'm never gonna do that so like you kind of know you're offering something like that so if you feel like that like yeah do some googling do some digging you've I don't know how it's little seems like very it's long distance right now if your gut instinct is like this feels like off i think it's also important as like with anyone that you're dating

if you're going to make decisions with about someone in like your life especially if they're not around where you can really get to know them in person and like pick up on body language and like your comfortability google like don't go through i'm not saying go through his phone we i do give that message when you have feel like something's up i don't think you think something's up. But like, if you have some qualms about this Google, or if his kid's other parent is like still around or in the picture, I'm sure you could also ask how things have like gone in other relationships, or if they're still around, like you can have a conversation with them. Like, I think if he is a good guy, and he's been at this job for a while, it seems like this is not

the first conversation he's had. And I think if he has access and a good relationship with an ex, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to have them talk to you about that because I don't think he wants to come across as like a sleazy guy and he doesn't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with but wants needs to create these boundaries with work but if it also feels like it's coming from him I think you need to ask some more questions to feel confident that you know where it's coming from you know but this is tricky like it's I just think you might not be compatible yeah but yeah nothing wrong with meeting someone in a club let's take a break Hi, I'm Megan and Melissa.

I love you guys so much. Let's jump into it. I'm 23 using she, her pronouns. My boyfriend is 22. he him and he has three older sisters all using she her pronouns my boyfriend and i have been together for three years and we were one of each other's best friends for two years before that we've done long distance our entire relationship but our hometowns are 30 minutes apart his sisters are ages 24 26 and 29 i get along with them really well the problem is that they

don't always act in a way that i think is okay normally i just let that thought pass because it's none of my business. The issue arises when it affects near my boyfriend. In the past, they've asked in ways that I perceive to be selfish. For example, recently my boyfriend visited me for a long weekend. He realized that one of his sisters and her boyfriend would be in town from the other side of the country to visit another sister who lives in the same city as me. My boyfriend asked if I would want to see them because he wanted to respect our time together. I said I did. He He relayed the message, and his sister sent a link to a weed-themed comedy show. Basically, the comedians are high, the audience is high, everyone's smoking.

I found this really shocking because my boyfriend struggled with weed dependency for years and hasn't used it now for a year and a half. This summer, my boyfriend, his family, and I were all together. His sisters, their significant others, and us were drunk, and my boyfriend ended up confiding in them about the abuse he underwent from their dad, as well as how this led into his weed dependency. They were so supportive, and it really felt like he could lean on them, which made me so happy, and I was really relieved that it wasn't this big secret anymore. My boyfriend said that he was disappointed by his sister suggesting this event for us, but he seemed to shrug it off. My question is, what do I do about this growing resentment? It's an uncomfortable feeling to have because in life I would usually be able to be direct with people.

Usually they're my friends, coworkers, or family, and I can tell them how I feel or what I think. My therapist asked me at what point I'd feel comfortable voicing my concerns to them, and honestly, I don't know. I know my boyfriend would tell me that I can say whatever I want because he knows I'll never be rude, but I'm really worried that if I get too honest, things will get messy really fast. Also, this is a weird dynamic for me because I'm the oldest in my family, so now I'm associated with the youngest being my boyfriend, and sometimes it's awkward when I feel like his sisters are acting more immature. I could really use some help on this.

I love you guys. I love the podcast. plural so much all right i hope you have a great day bye thank you for loving our podcast we appreciate it thank you so much as a confrontational person i know it's pain i know the pain of feeling like you can't just say what you want to say but i do think there's something innately built in when it's not your drama and it's not your personal life like it can be your extended life it's not your personal life and you care about you care about the people on either end of it but more specifically that you care about a positive outcome and a change that that changes

how you talk about it like how i talk when i confront someone like you're saying that like you're fine with this like friends co-workers or whatever the confrontation no matter what always has an end has a resolution and a goal in mind like if i'm done with you and we're having a confrontation like how i'm gonna speak to you and what i'm gonna say is very different if we have a working relationship and i'm trying to get things something to be solved yeah i'm trying to get you to understand something like there is a difference between this really like is really frustrating for me to watch and i know that he was okay with it but personally i really wasn't okay with it versus like you're a fucking bitch and i hate you like there is no matter what like

the content that you're saying is going to be different so like you're worried of like i don't want to be too intense I don't know I would probably just write everything down show your boyfriend and just be like I don't want to speak out of turn and I also want to make sure I'm not speaking for you um and first ask him like would you be comfortable I want to talk to your sister I was going to write something I can show it to my friend or I also wanted to know like do you want to read it over before I talk to them about this if you don't want to don't worry but like I just want to extend the offer there and have someone else like you know read it over and then I think like if you come from a genuine place your delivery no matter what because it's like

it's your boyfriend and you care about him I it's really hard to subconsciously and accidentally like completely demolish a relationship when you're kind of going at it from for somebody else like You're just going to be more careful. You know what I mean? Like, I just can't imagine you're going to say you're going to go too far. You're going to say something like so unforgivable because, you know, the consequence of that. And that's not what he wants. Yeah.

I mean, that's great non-toxic advice. Give me your toxic advice. I mean, it's not even advice for her, really. It's just like. I'm sorry, the weed show seems. I mean, that's obnoxious to me, but I'm sure there's several people that enjoy that. Just to me, if one of my sister's husbands came up to me to tell me their issues with something that I did that is directly affected to my sister, I'd be like, get out my face. like i don't i don't really i and they're like my actual vogue in laws they i've don't all of them

for or both of them for 10 years yeah like they're my family as well but like my sisters are my sisters and they can say to me whatever they want and we will fight and we will be back being sisters but i'm sorry but they're singing their husbands came to me with some bullshit and this is not bullshit but if they came to me concerns or not i'd be like no i'm not talking to you about this if megan or melanie has something to say with me not this megan we're sisters you have something to say with to me then they can say it to me but like i don't need you running something through me through you about my sisters yeah i think like i i don't disagree with that at all yeah like i don't disagree with your advice i'm just saying from my standpoint

that's how i would feel that's if i i don't i have a brother but it's not the same but like a lot older than you didn't grow up together but i i think if we did like if i i would probably i would have the same point of view as you so like i think you melissa but like caller i think you need to figure out like what you want because like confrontation like in this kind of instance I think confrontation when it's like not you're not confronting something in the moment it's like hey this thing like whatever like it's just like you have to there's only you can want to do it but you bring something up not in the moment later on after you've thought about it because you want to resolve something that works in relationships and friendships when you are one half of a party

that is involved if you are an onlooker really the only thing I can think of that like you can convey and you can get out of this is like it might feel cathartic and that's kind of it and and that's for you it's not for anyone else and like I can't promise you that you're gonna do that and you're probably gonna walk out of it more frustrated like I think in theory it might feel like really great and you just like want to get it off your chest and like you think that you can like get to them and it can like change whatever but it's just going to be for you and it might only be for you for two seconds before like they shut it down and it's just kind of like why are you bringing this up like in the moment i think like if they brought up like a weed show i'd be

like i'd probably make a joke about it and it's like a weed show and it's like well i feel like that's probably not the right company and like and there's something that's it you could do all together yeah like after the fact and if he he's already revealed a lot of about himself and gave them a reason why i don't see why you need to go add to it when it's when things have already been said he shared about his abuse and why um why he was smoking and why he stopped smoking with them like i just don't know what you can add to that and i don't know what the conversation what you're going to get out of it and what he's going to get out of it because like sometimes it is good to like correct people after the fact of being like hey that wasn't cool um and I wouldn't do that

moving forward um and there's a window to do that and but all that really is is just to say it like it's just to say it's kind of to check it off in your mind like someone says something out of pocket and you didn't feel comfortable saying something in the moment and you say it like you pull them aside a minute later because you don't want to say it in front of everybody but like that's it like you can't expect that that's going to lead to some that person apologizing or changing their behavior or like doing anything like that you can't control their relationship and you're an onlooker of their relationship and you can also be a critic of their relationship you can not like her you can like her but not like how she treats him but you are not in control

of how that relationship moves forward not just on her actions but also his like if he doesn't want to call it out in the moment, you doing it might backfire and make it worse. Like he needs to go by what he wants. And sometimes like, it's just nice to be able to have a partner to vent to without thinking that or without worrying that they're going to then turn around and tell someone else, right? Like tell that the person about that, like, he said that he told you that, like, you know, it's fine. But like, I don't know, I would probably revisit that conversation with him. And like, are you hearing what you want to hear in that moment? Or is he being like, yeah, if you want to talk to them like I don't think anything like I don't you don't have to like something's

not going to change like I don't think you'll get anything out of it but if you really want to like I can't stop you that's very different than you know I do feel pretty like uncomfortable having this conversation like I would be I would be really happy if you could have a conversation like let's come together and like write down what I would like you to say and um I'm gonna have a follow-up conversation with her like afterwards when I feel a little bit more confident and like what i how i feel about this there's just a big difference there um and you just can't fix this relationship and like all relationships friendships like siblings like they they ebb and flow they go through different phases and different times you also don't and not to

like totally minimize this you also don't know that the weed thing was like malicious it literally could have been a total brain fart yeah like i don't drink but i'll still go to a bar you know they could have been thinking of it in that way yeah and what he's shared with you a lot of times in our adult life we can find it a little easier to like share deeply personal things with someone who like doesn't know the intricacies like of our entire life and like how we grew up like that can be a little easier so you honestly might have more insight than his siblings do but also you you're not unbiased you're unbiased you're not related to the dad that's not your father like you it's it would be easier for you to say something it would be easier for him to say

something to you as opposed to other people that are going to be affected by this you're not affected by this yeah in a direct way you're affected through his emotions yeah so this is like a complicated family thing and i think that like from what you've said his sisters have been really supportive when he brought that up and i don't think that them inviting him to do this negates that support i think there's a lot of reasons and it also just could have been an oversight and like an unintentional offense but if your boyfriend like needed an apology and like needed them to recognize that like it's his responsibility to get that from them not yours and I think if you involve yourself it needs to be done um it has to be done as a unit

with you and your boyfriend regardless if he's like physically there he needs to know everything you're saying and he needs to not only co-sign but like enthusiastically want you to say this like you either need to be the vessel for that conversation um or just not at all but yeah all right next call yep hi megan melissa i just got out of a very long seven-year relationship 25 she her and moved out of my ex's place to a new apartment on the other side of the city to not only be out of his house but to be closer to my work and my friends this past weekend i went on a date with a guy 26 he him where i think we both intended it to be a drink date and a hookup which it was he wasn't a bad guy just a little boring and the sex was fine it was good but not

legendary by any means and i wouldn't want to have sex with him again the main problem is that when we were discussing where to go after the bar he asked where i live turns out in one of the biggest cities in the country he lives in the apartment building exactly next to mine this means that the guy intended to have a one-night sandwich now uh now lives one minute away from me knows which apartment is mine goes to the same gym as across the street as me same starbucks as me same market as me, literally everything. I just moved to this apartment like a week and a half ago after searching for months. I literally didn't deny this offer to pick me up because I didn't want him to know where I lived for just a hookup. If I really, really liked the guy, I don't think this

would be as big of a deal, but he's not interesting to me and now will be able to find me anytime he wants. He even wants to go to the gym together, which I don't want to do because I don't even like going with friends like oh my god what did i do i don't want to see this guy again but that's going to be impossible i already changed my entire gym and local routine around not seeing him again but that won't work forever so please any advice would do i think i'm a cursed person that there's no way my one night stand is now my neighbor and he's already texting me again so anything would do um thank you so much have a good day love you guys been listening for years bye there's only two options witness protection program move yep or just flat out tell him

you're not interested i think that's the best option because you can't move i mean you could move but i don't know how long you're in your lease and you can't change your routine forever and let's say you change your routine it just happens to be y'all walk out in the street at the same time i've run into people i don't want to see me too this is my personal hell like you're living a sitcom like this is a sitcom trope or it's a romantic comedy

where you're like I never want to see that guy again but he actually is the love of your life why does he keep popping up right under my nose enemies to lovers you just gotta tell them you're not interested yeah but you gotta be specific because this was there were no strings

this was just like a hook up so as somebody who has ghosted like a fuck buddy you have to be very specific in how you I didn't ghost but like if you were going to tell a fuck buddy you're not interested you have to be specific and when I say specific you have to lie you have to tell him that you got back together with your ex I'm not you do you don't have to say this ex specifically but like you need ex me you need to like I find that like the best way because it's like well no it's just a casual but like you can say like I started dating someone new sure like i'm i'm starting to see someone new seriously okay that sometimes can

be like well i can compete like blah blah if you met them when did you meet them if i was sleeping with blah blah blah you know what usually men just shut them up i went back with my ex because that is just like oh that's i don't know the history i don't know how long you've been together like that's enough i don't that's something you have to keep up in case you accidentally run into them too and then let's say you start dating somebody and then you accidentally run into them i would say my ex and i are talking again or you because here's the thing what is worse seeing him in person and having to just be like oh yeah my ex and i are talking again he doesn't know who your ex is he doesn't know which ex you're referring to and also it could be like

by the time he sees you again it's like oh yeah it didn't work out then you're like seeing someone new or whatever it didn't work out okay so do you want to hang out no but if you're if you're seeing someone new just good yes but like or you can pretend the new person is your but you're not friends with him like how much conversation you're having i think that this is gonna snowball in the comedic way and it's just gonna crash back down on you but what is worse seeing someone at a starbucks who you've told that you're back with your ex and like even if they know it's a lie versus being like hi i'm not interested in you after we had sex and then he's like you're seeing someone who's like oh you didn't like having sex with me no it's like hey i had a really good time

that one time but um that was enough melissa you you were so good that you just like sealed it i'm done i never have to have sex again i'm good it was so satisfying no you have to i'm not i i don't i don't co-sign with the lie i don't co-sign with yours no but do you under you're giving him a door if you see him like hey that's it we don't have to have a conversation i i'm actually gonna pretend like i don't even have i don't see you fake amnesia be like the guy from this week's episode i can't even tell you but there's an episode there's a there's a write-in for this week's episode of but am i wrong do that no i just think that like you have to evaluate the yeah i was like what i was like what are you talking about oh yeah you have to evaluate the

situation but i think if you are trying so hard to avoid him by like switching like gyms and all of that kind of stuff my biggest fear yes would be thinking like would be him knowing where i live and safety wise and so for me i would have that lie include that i am if if on the chance because you know there's a i'm gonna say 50 50 way higher chance um that he's like gonna be one of those angry misogynist i'm a nice guy kind of thing like i would like to keep the image up that there is a man who you will make up in your head this man like what there's a man here like don't come back like i'm not just sitting at home by myself like i'd also probably get a dog the building doesn't allow dogs but his does i would uh move i just think that like you can only

know how he'll react to something like is he someone who is going to like just take that you're not interested with in stride is that just going to be like is he done or is he not going to be like is there does there need to be somebody else like involved and even then like i've had ones where like i'm like oh i'm seeing someone like more seriously now and they still don't stop yeah and like why you should just tell the truth but then they're still not gonna stop either way okay well one of them you get to live a sitcom what are you and your honest true situation is a sitcom yeah but you want to play into why don't make her be the straight man or it can be the bitch that says i'm done if you feel safe and

you think he will take that and that will be okay but hey a lot of the time until a man knows that there's another man like it's that's it like that's like when they'll stop like you know it's i've had guys were like oh i'm not interested and then it's like oh i'm not blah blah and then it's like oh i have a boyfriend they're okay because those are apparently two different things you know so but also i don't want to like i i'm a firm believer in like you can be paranoid about like paranormal but i don't think you can be paranoid uh about like as a woman or anyone i mean not even just as like but like as a person um i don't think you can ever be too paranoid about people and like your safety and that stuff so like if you whatever you want to do you want

to get a ring doorbell you want to get something like that like don't feel like you're being too extra like whatever helps you feel safe um but i hate a clingy one night stand yeah and also the sex it's the whole purpose of the one night stand it's one night yeah or you could just lie and tell me moved or you have a twin sister you're gonna run into this you have a twin sister you gotta keep up this lie forever i maybe this is how much i need an acting job because i'm like why do you keep saying this like that's gonna be a hard or not fun thing like character work every day yeah because you're an actor i know i think i'm really projecting what i would do but hey that's what this podcast is us projecting our thoughts onto other people no you have to come from your own

personal what you would do and you've got two options here you could tell the truth or you could lie i'm team lie i'm clearly team truther i'm a truther oh my god you heard it here first someone save me okay all right let's take a break we're back from our break we're doing don't blame them this is where listeners will call in with their own advice pertaining to a call we had on a previous episode oh actually before we get into this should we read the update message so last week's episode um the title episode which was mom used a slur we got a message from that caller from that daughter. Exactly. Yep. So thought I would share for everybody. Hi, Eminem. I unfortunately am

the caller with the racist mom from today's episode. I wanted to reach out to thank you for your advice after hearing my call and how you both interpreted some of the things I said politically incorrect, quote unquote, the world is changing. I'm embarrassed at how naive and oblivious it made me sound. I'm realizing how deeply I've internalized and downplayed the racism I and others have experienced in my family. So thank you for calling that out as well. also i played the call response for my boyfriend he felt very validated by your words and agreed with your advice hopefully i will have a positive update in the near future i love both your podcast and both of you xo we love you too and you're gorgeous and your boyfriend is we're not we're

not stalkers no like if information is there then we're gonna research it we just want to let you know you and your boyfriend are very hot very you're very hot so congratulations on that you have got a good guy who's also nice to look at yeah and you're also great because you're gorgeous and you also listen to our podcast so like you both and he liked what we said advice and stride too yeah and he you played him this and he liked our advice and agree with what he said it's like you guys are can i i can't give them anything but if you could give them a figurative what do you give them a moissanite because they're not like yeah um a topaz no let me give them

a diamond in the sky as in twinkle twinkle little star oh nice intergalactic yes so you have like literally checked off all the boxes you recommended to a friend and your friend is your boyfriend and you both like us so we wish nothing we always were rooting for the both of you splendid but uh thank you for sharing that and i think i'm glad you were able to take that in and you felt comfortable playing that with your boyfriend too so all right now time for don't blame them hey megan melissa i'm calling for a don't blame them for the episode i hope nothing but the worst for him um about the adult relationship call i'm 25 she heard and i loved your suggestions but i just had some more advice for them so what i've noticed in my adult relationship is that i

have kind of like different categories of friends and that sounds bad but it's definitely not it's Just some friendships, I treat like long-distance relationships and really schedule things out and have like dates and times and locations. And some of them, I just treat very spontaneously. And we just text the day of or the day before, like, hey, what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to go get coffee? Do you want to go to Target? Do you want to just hang out, watch a movie?

And I feel like that's okay, especially in big transition times when a lot of people are either moving or settling into new jobs or getting new schedules. it's really hard to kind of meet up with people and you feel very isolated and alone but just know that everybody going through this same transition is also feeling isolated and alone and probably want somebody to reach out and see if they want to hang out with them and I think that if you just continue to reach out to people and kind of adjust your relationships to how they're kind of moving it'll definitely help out so i hope that makes sense i love the show i so glad that i can call for something um and i hope you guys have a great rest of your day

okay bye splendid advice absolutely splendid we used to give this advice i don't think we did in this time but like we didn't we were keeping it fresh yeah it's one of our age-old things it's like friends have categories. And I literally said to Melissa, as you call her saying it, I was like, you know, target friends, like that was like the term we would use. And you were like a friend to go to target with. Yeah. So if you've been listening for a while, you actually might have been giving advice we gave you. But if not, then we're all on the same page. And it's a universal experience. Yeah. So the universal experience and you know, it's good to, you know, have somebody else say something that we've said before without us repeating ourselves. Yeah. And

like that is something that changes and that i think is the biggest best way to lean into that transition yeah um is recognizing that friends have categories even when you're growing up they but you just don't it's not as obvious your dance friends you have your like for me like church friends you have your whatever activities it's just what activities or things or even like your parents friends kids or like those friends too and even like friends you have in different classes that like friends you have lunch with and like you might not see that much and like you have a friends that you hang out with in this math class but you don't really spend a lot of other time together and like you you have those things the neighborhood friends carpool friends like

someone who goes your same bus stop like you have all of that stuff but because it's in a smaller bubble it doesn't feel like they're so parceled off and you don't have to do as much but when you're an adult you have to like you have to maintain those categories so great advice wonderful amazing and um that's it for our episode head on over to our instagram follow us we would appreciate our individual ones and also the podcast account we're also on tiktok and if you are still listening at this point which you should be go comment who's the coolest person you've ever met at a club it can be a local doesn't have to be someone very very cool yeah or your coolest club story or your most unhinged club story i once got fingered um

at a vegas club next to the pool melissa and then he flipped me over his head like dancing with the stars and then the security guard came over and was like can't do that wait i need to know your proc i hate that i am asking a follow-up i need to know your proximity to the pool we're not in the pool no i know to the pool but are you on the slippery spot or are you on the rough concrete no i was on like a like a lounge chair also rihanna and uh bruno mars and he got you love bruno mars huh you love bruno mars i do oh he got busted for coke that night what no way that's my i am shocked cocaine in vegas yeah it was all at a day part it was before wow like who he is now so he was just a man in a fedora yeah he was

an up-and-coming like people knew who he was but it was all in the news you mean to tell me a man in a fedora did cocaine in vegas color me shocked yeah i did some questionable drugs in vegas but that's that's my craziest story no okay so he flipped you over on i'm sorry now i can only think of bruno mars and if he knocking off his fedora what then happens huh i said well Bruno Mars accidentally knocked off his fedora when he flipped it was not Bruno Mars it was a man he told me I mean I didn't believe any of his story but he told me he was very rich and all this other stuff I was just horny and just making out I every night that we went out I had a different dude that I was with and my friends were like you're pulling all these guys and I was like

what like it's hard right wait no no so are you on like a platform like like are you on like a table think of like a pool like pool i don't even remember what club it is but pool and then it has there's people like it's not deep enough so like it's people dancing in the pool but it's also nighttime too so it's like it's turned into full club uh-huh and i hate when people i hate that at night chairs on the side and i was sitting and talking i had on a dress well yeah easy access yeah i didn't think he like got you through some trousers and making out and he like then fingered me and then he was like come to my hotel room and i said no i'm not doing that i'm not trying to get murdered i'm trying to get fingered i'm not

trying to die yeah and then he was like and then we were dancing and he was telling me that he was a good dancer and he flipped me over his head like ball on the dance floor yeah ballroom dance style And then the people at the club were like, the bouncers were like, you can't do that. And I'm like, what if it was the 50s? This makes more sense to me. So you were swing dancing as opposed to. Not swing dancing. No, we were like dancing dancing.

No, no, I know. But like, you know, a swing dancing kind of, you know, like that's what they do the flips. In my mind, you were on a lounge chair and he's just like pancake flipped you over. And I was like. No, no, no. That's not sexy. No. Okay.

Or I thought it was like a cheer stunt. And he was like, and herky. And basket toss. wow that's a good club story i've never gotten any ass in a club but granted the only time oh i'm trying to think if that's true i've been to vegas twice yeah one time my but yeah and then the other time was when i was figuring out if i liked moths or not and i was like i'm gonna like this is all my book everyone go read it you're not special but i was like i'm like this is like my friends were all like you're

gonna be like this is the weekend that you just figure out like yes or no like figure the fuck out everyone's like make out with someone like find someone like go hook up with someone blah blah the first fucking people who come up to us like we literally just got to like the club beach chairs i don't think i mentioned this in the book maybe i did we get there and it's like like two seconds these group of guys come over and they're like hitting on us and i'm asking them what they do and they work at the other big one of the other big agencies in la and i'm like laughing and then it is yeah yeah and when they asked where and turns out and they're like oh do you know ma tang doll and i was like are you fucking kidding me and that was my sign i was like

yes i do like this kid is somehow through his mind sent people who know him yeah here and they followed up with him like a while ago they were like hey like um can i get that girl like megan's number or something like that like i know you know her and i was like oh we're kind of dating and he was like oh sick congrats dude nice yeah tell us your crazy club story we don't have to know the people it's not to be celebrities like it can literally just be like just a story yeah just a story i love it i was just telling my story and then i remembered that rihanna and bruno mars dude i that was before she was a billionaire i miss clubs i do too that might be the most shocking thing about us like i really i love a club love club i love a club the dancing

the people watching attention dressing like an absolute whore and dancing like i'm doing it for dollars like that's like literally my dream like i love it maybe we'll go one day when your lungs are back if we would have a let's be positive i know um especially my heart my lungs are just suffering along with them maybe i hope i don't know yeah mots and i've also like never been to like vegas or a club together he like also loves it bachelorette party i know we've talked about like we used to like before the pandemic happened like we used to like look up concerts in vegas because we were like we don't want to just go because like that's weird and like i don't drink and like it would just be like a what would we be going for as a couple now so we like always

were trying to find a concert like as our excuse to go but the issue is like when we go with boys like you have to pay for stuff yeah that sucks i know i was with somebody that worked in pr and she just knew how to work a fucking room and we were in vip in no time she just like she saw some this is another move me moment she saw like a waitress passing by with empty champagne glasses and she just grabbed them and gave it to each of us and said just act like you're supposed to be here and we just walked into vip and sat down like vegas is free when you have tits yeah and that's beautiful like it's just it's what we deserve i love it yeah yeah this is we've got we've got plans now we do we're going to vegas baby imagine we do like a podcasting in vegas

and we're just like in thotty dresses like chunky platform heels ready for this me too not joking yeah pussy fucking ready yeah pussy ready to pop uh-huh drop pop on a handstand actually do you know that i i'm gonna make you we're gonna need to put some i don't want you that on on not on the dance floor no no i was like you're gonna get your hair's gonna get so dirty yeah i was like like i'm gonna need to get a whole bunch of people to create a human chain around you and some lysol on the floor before you do that i think you could get an infection yeah i agree hold on my friend sent me a picture so i'm glad you didn't get fingered in the pool because i also think you get an infection that that's just me in a regular handstand

now you just that form is fucking fantastic just arch your back you also kind of look like a serial killer in that like it's fine it's just like you don't look real like you look like you're so like it's such a perfect handstand you're like are you a fax murderer like why can you do that so well all you gotta do is art and to P-pop you just arch your back let your legs sink down and then you just pop your hips and my role

will be go go go smack it but I'm here to encourage the crowd to monetarily spend on your talent I'm here as a very tall very lanky hype woman we bring like a safety

plastic thing to put down that's what i was like we do we i i hosey down i take the floor i get my swipper and i go hold on everybody and they're like is this the jabawakis and then you come out spin it on that you have to learn a whole break dance no yes that's not how you whore you don't no no into break dancing because we're gonna trick them to you thinking that you're jabawakis you have the mask you have the jabawakis mask on everyone goes jabawakis they're excited you don't to see them for that long you rip the mask off you take the blacks tracks up you're suddenly just hot and then pussies pop in and they're like whoa they're confused and they're turned on i like that

it's performance okay see us in vegas coming soon um oh you're gonna read her view so sorry i distracted you oh this is from monica quinn i don't know if that's your real name but if it is you should change it if you can um this is a good review i'm just saying oh i was like public damn we're slandering monica quinn quickly no no thoughtful and a good time five stars she came out to be like hi everyone i work at nasa and i was like twiddling my bean while at work so i'm saying why did she need to get rid of her name i'm just saying like some people oh she didn't say anything incriminating okay i was like what a weird review okay sorry you know sometimes you might leave a bad review and then you don't realize that your name oh no leave your name

on there if it's a bet yeah i'm telling you about someone else oh maybe it was like a terrible podcast it's just like yeah some men with a microphone and you're like i gotta go leave a terrible review be wary yes but if you're leaving a negative review on our podcast please use your full name even if you don't use your full name we'll still find you megan and melissa are like my wfh friends what does that mean work from home okay is that what you're going is that what it actually means yes have you not received a single email blast in the last two years no i don't have to be blasted with emails you're blasting yourself no like literally everything i'm being like work from home

casual chic like this is unsubscribed from all um by um people that sell and you missed the whole productivity 2000 2022 2020 i have a um whole email address where all that goes to they don't check and you didn't see any tiktoks in 2020 where they were like may work from home aesthetic may work from home wfh yeah and a hashtag no one wrote hashtag work from home list that that's too many letters i don't never read the hashtags at the bottom oh i do i'm always curious i should have made something up i really thought you were joking you knew what it meant i should have made something up okay okay they keep me company for two plus hours between this and but am i wrong during my otherwise pretty socially deprived work week i called in once

and their advice added perspective and helped lift my uncertainty on the situation leaving me with more clarity to decide how to proceed we got a copywriter on our hands beyond their wholesome friendship well we probably should have read this before our vegas thing so we just started out but yeah genuine friendship there you go wholesome we have holes yeah some wholesome uh friendship and entertaining banter they are always thoughtful and concerned and inclusive their empathy and integrity are amazing and i truly thank them for it they are actually putting out what they wish to see in the world but we need more which is honesty thank you monica monica quinn monica quinn that was so kind i feel like we paid you to write that i know we didn't because

like we don't have we have no money so please join our patreon or if you work for a company that just podcast dad hit up our email um and pay us adam and eve um that's so nice thank you we appreciate it if you want to leave a review it really does make our day and made us smile it did and maybe it will help us make money from our podcast we're trying desperately we're trying um so thanks for joining us you can head on over to our patreon and um yeah we'll see you all next time goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond imprint productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry

production assistance by melanie d watson music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso