Don't Blame Me! - Dumb and Grateful

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Meghan and Melisa give advice on: Searching for yourself within a relationship Fitting into a family Hoe phasing Asking a family member for money Don't Blame Them - Telling your ex’s current that the ex is trash Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Subscribe to our new show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-am-i-wrong/id1591757891 Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. I took an Adderall you would never be able to tell. I don't know. Okay. Hi. Welcome back to Don't Blame Me. And thank you all for

being so kind and understanding as we were not here yeah for weeks we were here but not like here here yeah i was on my couch hacking up a lung running a fever miserable and now how to go through that that's that's fine it's apparently par for the course now as i've had strep twice this year but twice in got it in may and what month is it october well i got diagnosed in september okay but you asked what month is it you didn't ask what yeah but i forgot it's fuck my anniversary i need to get my i just keep telling him like let's not do gifts and he's like no i want to get you something and i'm like i just you're kind of like if you listen to but am i wrong the people that get the co-workers like here's the thing i love a birthday gift

of a christmas gift shit we can even do valentine's day mostly because like that's after i've already paid for a christmas gift and your birthday gift and so like i'm in that that mindset but like anniversary that's like equally but like when you get married are you gonna do this anniversary or the marriage anniversary that's what i wonder you you gotta pick one no i have to learn i have to memorize a new day that's gonna be really hard for me you just get married on the anniversary date yeah and then you have to plan for that it's just there's a lot of numbers there's not a lot of planning that needs to go into it because all that happens is you get a marriage license and me as a ordained minister just minister we just do it real quick you know

there really isn't that much work that needs to go in no i just meant that like you don't you have to like do you introduce do you file can it doesn't get filed the same day you do the thing like we have to have a witness there that signs and then you know well the government doesn't email you like a paper it doesn't even have to be the same day it doesn't even have to be the same month it's just whenever you drop it off okay because most people get married on like a weekend anyway so they're not open oh so people when people celebrate the anniversary they celebrate the day that their wedding was not the day they signed like the marriage but the marriage license gets signed the day that their wedding is you just drop it off

whenever you drop it off oh i thought that it gets certified when you conjugate it when you also like did they like you track that back in the day have you penetrated yet because otherwise you're not it's not official well not to be that's what i was gonna say like not to be you know cool but i feel like a lot of men were just forcing well that's their girls when i say girls i mean literal girls yeah that's why i mean like we still make jokes on like tv shows like and i'm like i feel like this can't have good origins because who was following up on this there was a room i don't know if it's been debunked but that's like what fuck stands for

is something under under the king hold on let me let me look this up but they would put that on like it was initials for like when people were having sex and they would put it like over your door and that's the original tie like the original sock on the door and it was something under the king what ew very under his eye oh my god wait speaking of under his eye mots my fiance at his big old age of 32 c32 c31 i don't know why are you asking me you're better at remembering things than i am but like it's not i know i wouldn't remember anything specifically for him i mean i have to ask people how old i am all the time he's either 32 or 33 he just read a handmaid's tale for the first time and he was like i want to watch the show it's got to be good and i was like

i don't know good is the word i would describe it uh it's really depressing and like very dark and very harrowing and sure you can start watching it but like i had to stop like it's just miserable like it's absolutely miserable and he was like it's just so fascinating i'm like what's it must be like as a man to watch to read a handmaid's tale and go what a fascinating book versus women reading it going ah the prophecy has come true lovely also i it's so wild to me that i read that in high school or maybe middle school even so it was a rumor but it's false of course i found it on snopes which you know snopes always killing the fun i know so people used used to say that it meant it was a uh acronym that meant for unlawful carnal knowledge or fornication under

consent of the king and so you had to like go to the king of course that's a myth because there's word consent in it that wouldn't be true yeah but i knew it was i was like i thought it would have been debunked so i was correct you are correct snopes can't let us have anything fun anyways welcome to don't blame me where we're going to give wonderful amazing life-changing advice and it's going to even be better advice because you haven't heard from current us in a while you've heard from past us and we've learned so much yeah the last episode that came out there was a brick wall i thought this was like symbolism or like a ref like like euphemism was very exact it was like literal yes the background was a brick wall some of you might be wondering about

our the last episode the last replay and people are like this feels poignant and to that i say huh who who us why would we do i mean if we're gonna be poignant we would be poignant and it's not like we had a conversation offline in our text that's just discussing the pros and cons of being too on the nose because we could have been we could have been could have been it right on off see but am i wrong to get that reference this week on thursday you guys are you are not ready that you have to watch the video of it my face like I actually had no idea where you were going it's really good when you pick ones that I don't know because then I don't cut you off and just start talking about what I know which is exactly what you're saying but you're saying it

smarter and more concisely and my brain's like I know what you're talking about it's like so bad I need to like you know when you like as a kid I used to wow why did no one medicate me sooner but my teachers used to make me sit on my hands so I wouldn't like always just like i need that for like my mouth like i need a muzzle so i can just not a kinky one no i'm sorry somebody who can't even scrape her like cry scraping her tongue now like you have a small jaw i don't do my jaw you have to get a little ball gag i don't know what the fuck is up with my jaw recently it is so fucked not a tennis ball sorry you're trying to break me in half i'm gonna be like that meat that like give of the woman's mouth completely unhinges like someone

comes out from inside of it no i can't even do a golf ball like no my jaw is like fucked the fuck up recently and i don't know why but it's been out of place for like months and i like can't really move it why don't you go get it put back in place because it doesn't go back and like there's nothing don't you get like i get botox so basically weakens the muscle so then like when the muscle is super weak i can't accidentally like pop it it like overexcited or pop it in and but my assumption was that like when i was like sleeping one time or like something happened that like just adjusted it or when i my nose was congested and i was breathing my mouth open and then the weight of my like my mouth being being open was just like put like you know it's just

weight and so then it was just going to like one side so yeah it's like fucked mine is out three out of seven times a week i'll wake up and then i just get it back in but i know yours is yeah because mine doesn't have like anywhere to go like pops like it oh yeah and then open it and then it back mine's just like it's just loose and then sometimes it's like okay is it loose to this side or is it like loosed loose to this side it's fine no blowjobs for me right now okay poor you gotta you can't have that uh spit bucket next to the bed anymore no he's also when you like have the congestion and you're like if someone tried to tell extra lubey no when someone if someone tried to tell me like you should like i'm sorry i will i will actually suffocate because i can't

breathe so no no dicks will be such no no no anyways we're gonna give wonderful amazing advice and if you're wondering how do i get some of this for myself well you can call us but it's not going to be on this episode it'll be on the next one or the one after that so give us a call leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcasts at gmail.com you have to keep it under three minutes if you're doing a voice memo you've got like the same cut off if you call but it's just after the beep and then you'll get cut off it's not like an internal voicemail is that the word i don't know what the word that you're looking for is but like so i record my voicemail message and then you leave me a voicemail why is

that the same word what do you mean you record so like i'm like hi this is megan it's a greeting it's not a message oh it's a voicemail greeting or just a greeting because it's a greeting because like when you go to record your voicemail it says do you want to record a new greeting well there is a separate word i didn't know that i was using voicemail for both and i go that's kind of confusing okay i did take my adderall everyone you might not see it but it's there the thing is like your focus is just there's something else going on yeah i'm pretty tired yeah i i can see it in your eyes i can feel it when it happens i'm sorry it's okay this is what i'm gonna start packing my bag before because i just can't be like physically tired getting in

the car to drive here because like when i'm like filling up my water bottle like just walking gets me exhausted like putting on makeup gets me tired i think i need i need a stool so i can sit and do everything oh not the same kind of stool that i would need to be able to look over things no the issue with adhd and long covid is like i can't sit still i like forget things then i want to walk around and grab something and then i'm like oh shit let me grab this oh shit let me grab this and then i'm just tired i don't know how to take one trip i can't work smarter than not harder i work hard and it makes your heart work yeah my heart is like stop anyways do you own a brassiere no so if you see anything it's a nipple but i don't see anything that's when i'm um they're

pretty nicely placed okay if i move you'll see them so that is a wonderful time to let you know that the video version is on patreon i'm wearing a sheer white blouse so the guy who keeps sending me messages every single day in my dms telling me that you're jacking off to my photos and asking for photos of my feet give me money and you can have a photo of my feet but until then i mean subscribe to our patreon come knocking three times now so i'm here for your come tribute stop trying to leave me out of this okay well he's in my no i'm talking about only fans because it's addressed to both of us megan and melissa do you want to hear a horrific horrific joke i made last night to mods is it like horrific to get you canceled or no what horrific horrific great i'm just coming

out here just like homophobic like no it might be like there was this whole reddit thread about like what's ned gonna do after now whoa don't worry we talked about it on this week's episode of but am i wrong but someone's like he's never gonna be able to get a job again and i was like do you know anything about the me too movement like people didn't even believe that like women were being like raped and sexually abused by like powerful men in hollywood who still are like admitted and like rapists who are still working like what do you mean you don't think he's gonna work anymore like how is he gonna do that and uh everybody was like just so ignorant about the whole thing and then moths was like yeah he can have like any job behind the scenes and we were

like well it's only if you really want a job in front of the camera and i was like i fucking hope whoever is running the marketing team for only fans emailed him immediately and said hey ned look up we've got some ideas for you in your career and like pitched only fans because like they always fucking do that yeah that's true they send like cold emails like completely not regarding like current events but like they're kind of like the pretty little thing of like you know destruction and like cancellations and shit and like they will like timely message people related to like dramatic things so you want to know what dylan from only fans said to us yeah what'd he say hi there hey dylan your content caught my eye yeah i wanted to see if you've ever thought

of exploring only fans as a way to get paid for the content you create you could monetize your premium megan and melissa podcast episodes life advice promotional contents guest interview fan chats behind the scenes and any other i'm not gonna lie to you this may already be created maybe the one that i'm like you actually maybe did your homework versus half these other people yeah so anyways what you need to do in your voicemail slash your voice memo voice memo time it out so sundial hourglass phone stop watch keep it under three minutes and time it out before you start recording it. So write down everything you want to say. It's all anonymous. Let us know your pronouns if you want, but please let us know your ages. If it's about relationships,

friendships, siblings, anyone else who is in the story that you're telling. Well, not us. I mean, I guess it's a story if it's true. Make sure you also include their ages. Again, if it's about relationships, how long you've been dating, we want all relevant details. The more details we have, the better advice we can give you. So if you leave out something important, we are going to have to like infer for ourselves and like go to those conclusions so write the fuck down then read it and then record either your voicemail or the voice memo if you listen to other episodes you can have a great example of like definitely what calls to do and what not to do you have to be 18 and over have your parents permission and um yeah we also we give the advice that we would

like to um see in the world you might be wondering how we're qualified oh yeah but we lack in credentials we make up for in opinions and if you are sensitive let us know and if you are not sensitive you can also let us know and i really don't need to know your astrological sign but if you are sensitive and don't let us know and then we give advice that you think hurts your feelings but like everybody else agrees including the people in our facebook group and then you go and make two fake apple profiles so you can leave bad reviews just know that we will find you yeah and you need to have less identifying details because i'm assuming someone has stolen your credit card information i think that your information might be on the dark web not that i put it i'm saying

that like for someone trying to be sneaky it was sloppy yeah very sloppy very sloppy i just have a question for me or them for them okay do y'all go to our website and i forgot what is no from the majority we're not paying to re-up our subscription that is a really good call i forgot i forgot i made that yep every couple years i like have like a creative burst or every couple days it's so out of date because it hasn't been updated in a while no but like i didn't know we had it should we get into the episode yeah hi megan i'm calling about a tricky situation regarding a long-term relationship. I'm 24, she, her, and my partner is 31, he, him. We've been together for six years and lived together for four and a half years. The issue is that I'm struggling and feel like

I'm going crazy. Some days I feel like I can see a future for us, like a marriage and kids something, and on some days it's like a flip switch is in my head and I feel like I should be alone, maybe exploring my bisexuality and finding what I actually enjoy and like in life, because I really don't know adulthood without him. Don't get me wrong, I love him, he treats me well, and our day-to-day life works pretty well, but this problem is eating me on the inside. This whole issue struck me about a year ago

when I realized that if a hypothetical proposal was coming, I wouldn't be able to accept 100%, which caused a lot of sadness and anxiety, even though years ago I wouldn't be very happy to accept. After that realization, I've tried to figure out which things are causing the feeling. Basically, I feel like I'm growing apart from him and I'm starting to understand what I value in life, like anti-racism, ethics, animal rights and LGBTQ plus community. So I fear I've become too different since I was literally a teenager when we started

dating. This has caused a lot of anxiety, second guessing and thinking if we are compatible for a long-term commitment. This has also manifested itself as me not wanting as much sex as before and me saying no often frustrates my partner a lot. We have discussed the issue and he listened but wasn't able to understand that I feel a psychological disconnect. He seems to be focusing on the symptom, lack of sex, rather than the actual problem. In the end he said that he wants to be with me and if my confusion means that I want to break up then it's my responsibility to do it and I agree. Lately the discussions have died down since we always end up arguing so we have just kind of brushed it under the rug and live our life as if the discussion never existed

and I try not to say no every time he wants to have sex with me because he doesn't want an open relationship. We both know that this issue has to be discussed again sometime but I'm finding it hard because I really don't know what I want to do. Is this just because this is my first relationship and will these feelings go away and how? I would really like some peace of mind about this because I recognize that being on the fence about our future is unfair towards my partner. Please help me and be as harsh as you need to be. Thanks. You need to break up with him a year ago. it sounds like y'all have very different core beliefs and values and then sexually yeah yeah i mean it's one way to phrase it when you say that like you've grown up and you've

realized like things that are really important to you like anti-racism lgbtq issues and then you said we're just really different now so the inferring between that is like what does he value like those things that you've described like i don't know i kind of think that like they are very and i'm not trying to like do this to like discredit you at all i think those are kind of like baseline things that like your brain is fully developing you are like learning more about the world around you and other people's lives and uh how your instance is not like in your lived experiences and everybody else's experience and like with social media and just like consuming media now that you're in your 20s and not just for school the way that you're describing it that

like these are like the things that you like have changed and valued about yourself like if he hasn't done that like that to me is just like oh you've gotten educated and grown up like that's not like a who you are that's just but also they've been together six years and she's 24 and he's 31 so they've been together since she was 18 and he was 25 years old so that is a big like 18 to 25 is a big age gap and now you're close to where he is when he met you and so of course you're not the same person that you were six years ago you were 18 like just coming into what is i don't know what country you're in but in the united states that's when you're declared an adult but your brain doesn't even fully you know yeah that's why we got to send those ones to war yeah

so why so it's just like you're in a completely different stage of your life he's in a completely different stage of his life and then this age gap that there's just different stages here dude i literally as me number one hater of age gap relationship it's the first thing i wrote down and i already forgot it as i wrote to the bottom and until you said that like i take it back you shouldn't have broken up with him a year ago um he should have never pursued you as a 25 year old when you were 18 years old yeah this is a now that you're saying this is a different level of like you aging and maturing this has a different meaning because like before what i was just saying like that you were both around the same age and i'm like okay so you spent this time like

your brain's growing developing like of course and that you've grown apart now and you're different which i'm like okay cool his fundamental values like he doesn't have any like cool they suck no you he is now looking at you saying you are too different from when i picked you out as an 18 year old right that's really gross that's like a different level of not like oh you don't have values it's like oh you were that is this is like far more problematic which i mean obviously is problematic because um the sex stuff is yeah there's just there's two different problems three different problems there's an age problem here there's the fact that now that you've grown up some you still got a lot of growing up to do and matured some since when you were 18 years old

into learning who you are and as as an adult and you also said that you want to learn like what you like outside of him as well which you haven't had that opportunity i'm guessing because you're probably living with with parental figures or your parents until then met him you've been living with him for i don't think you said four years four years so you've been living with him for four and a half years actually and i just don't think that you've had the time to figure out who you are as an adult and i i think that you should break up and figure out who you are but and then we have the third issue of him pressuring you into having sex just because he's frustrated go wank off if you're frustrated like yeah i think we think of like pressuring in like uh sexual coercion uh

in relationships i don't think people talk about it like enough and pressuring doesn't mean that he's saying like i'm gonna be really like you have to do this or you feeling like he's uh physically imposing or anything like it can literally be like he pouts like he sulks he's quiet he's like no i'm not mad but like he just makes disappointed yeah he makes you feel guilty he like makes you like feel like you have to say no versus like gauging your interest in this and then when you say no he takes that as a personal insult or a jab or something that like you need to make up for it later on so like this isn't that you're just not compatible this is like this was really gross that he sought you out as an 18 year old and i like want to be i'm coming

across really harsh when i'm saying this and i don't want to because you've been together for six years and that's like a really hard thing to say to someone who's like actively still in this relationship but the values that you have are kind of baseline that he should and i'm not saying that like as a knock on you but it's a knock on him like those should be like baseline if you were finding you differ really so intently from him on these core values which are just like hi i have morals like that is a really big red flag because he's not gonna he's 31 he's not going to change and i think he's probably feeling really like frustrated because he thought if he dated someone so young um that you would kind of mold to who he is and you haven't like you

you are really your own person so much so that you want to explore the world as this person like as who you are and i agree with melissa like i think you should i think you should break up i don't think you should get engaged i don't think like any of that but this is not this is not like you ask like if this is how relationships are is this gonna go away is this just because the first relationship you're stinging because it's the first relationship this isn't gonna go away and this is not how all relationships are your entire like relationship history most likely and to be like your relationship history of worth worth note anything less than 18 is i have a lot of relationship history in that but like it's not as serious as other ones it has all been tied to him

and so he's gonna have be able to have the opportunity to really make you feel like you're wrong and like this is what it is like this is normal this is like he's older than you he has these other experiences but like this is all you can relate to in this i think you have love for him and you have like a fondness for him because he represents your adolescence and like your first love but this is not who you end up with and like you don't have questions about wanting to like explore life and explore like sexuality and other people and all of that that's not something that will go away and shouldn't go away like if it goes away you're like you're silencing that voice like you're silencing honestly truly your voice in general and you're just settling for

what you're what you've known but i don't think you are going to settle because like i don't know you have the vibe which this might sound weird but like you know in the movies where it's like that small town girl who like it's like i'm gonna get out of the big city like you have that vibe in this relationship like you know that there's other stuff out there like you know that that's why you're tempted by it and i think why you probably listen to our podcast too because yeah yeah because the thing is like if i if i heard if somebody called in and it was like a 24 year old like just now starting to date a 31 year old i'd be like okay like yep yeah it's different because you started when you were 18 and i don't think if you met him today

i don't think you'd want to date him that's a good point it's like when you're shopping and you have something in your closet and you're like oh when you have something in your closet and you're like should i get rid of this like if i saw this at the store today would i buy it and you're like oh i have to detach whatever memory i have and also whatever convenience i have to this right to like who am i now and do i like it now or do i remember who i was when i liked it that's a really good point yeah i've never thought about that in terms of relationships just close mostly because i have a lot of fucking clothes wow good fucking point and good catch on the age that i really just blanked even though again it is the first two bullet points that i

i think probably because like if you're seeing 24 and 31 it's not yeah if you think of it in a now term that's not a big deal but if you think of it from the point of from somebody being 18 and they were 25 and then she doesn't know who she is outside of this relationship then that's a big difference yeah it was making me do quick math because it was like 24 31 be together for we lived together for four years together for six and in my mind i'm like cool so you were 20 yeah because i can't do math okay well break up with him explore your bisexuality have so much fucking fun hoe out like live your life just like go to fun restaurant go to places you've been gone before like figure out who you are because i think you're on the cusp of it and you really want to

and you should because it's hard to find who you are and that's something a journey that a lot of people have to like go on and like seek it out because they don't even know where but like it feels like you're at the precipice of that and like don't let him be the one who tells you who you are and like holds you back from that yeah you're the sun you are the sun and everything revolves around you me but you can also be there too and we're in different solar systems you know yeah we all have our own solar system you guys dude no one can dispute that space is fucking huge absolutely huge all right next call yes i will also stop having sex with him until you break up that too like just stop like that's not okay yeah unless you want to you don't stop talking to them

so hi megan and melissa i'm calling in to ask if i am the asshole in this situation or if my way of thinking it needs to be a little bit tweaked so i am a 29 year old female who is engaged to a 30 year old male she her pronouns and he him pronouns i have this gnawing feeling that his mother is not the biggest fan of me so throughout our relationship we've been together for almost three years engaged for about a year and a half and his mother whenever it's just the two of us around each other she can be very um standoffish at times and has occasionally said things that can be a little rude for lack of a better word when my fiance is not around when he is with her one-on-one she apparently has said all these really nice things about me

of how much she likes me and how much of a good person she thinks I am and how smart I am and etc etc but when we are one-on-one it is not always that way across the board I brought this up to him and he just kind of brushes it off I should mention that we do not see his family very much and we only see them like once or twice a year so when we are together I do understand like the primary reason that we're there is for him to spend time with his mom and vice versa like I'm kind of an afterthought sometimes in that aspect you know just getting married soon I just wanted your opinion on what I should do in this situation how I should go about you know building that relationship even more yeah just give me your thoughts okay thanks bye there are like some

options of things that could be going on here and i think you need to run through all of them and this is an important thing before you get married unless divorce is something that you are open to or um being potentially more or less miserable than you are right now okay one your mother-in-law future mother-in-law being standoffish thinking that she hates you or is like standoffish to you or is like making rude comments to you she could be like socially awkward and it could just be that like the the the connection that she has with you like she's not doing a great job at like executing it and it's coming across as rude and the only way that that's really going to be happening i think is if you see how she interacts with other people

and she's saying similar things and they're taking it as like, oh, this isn't like an insulting thing or a rude thing. And it could be like a cultural difference there, but also just could be like socializing. Like it's different to socialize with like your own kid versus like their significant other. But again, it would have to be that

she like treats everybody else like that as well. And this is like really bad, but I just want to be honest with you. There is a high likelihood that your boyfriend is lying and his mom is not saying those nice things about you behind your back that's exactly where my mind went yeah she most likely is not saying those things and he is not technically lying because she's probably not saying that she doesn't think you're nice and she doesn't think you're smart but she's not saying that so therefore that means that she does think you're nice and you're smart

and like that can kind of be like a defense thing that like men specifically can have where it's like no no she really really likes you and it's not because she said she really likes you it's because she hasn't said she really really hates you and I think that's more likely what's going on here and him wanting to brush this off like that is yes it's a red flag in the sense that like he's not really taking into consideration how you feel regardless even if he thought like it was a total accident on his mom's end then he should want to remedy that and be like oh no I don't want you to feel like that like I don't want her to I don't want there to be any weirdness I want you to be like I want you to feel comfortable and happy around and like really get along or if that's

not possible I want to figure out like does my mom dislike you and is she saying things about you like is she saying talking to you and like is she being rude like I I want to confront her about that because when he just brushes it off I mean what I would say to that I would be like so do you think I'm lying? When I say that she's being rude? Like, do you think I'm not being honest? Like, because I'm telling you this, like, I don't want your mom to be rude to me. Like, I don't want any of this. But when you just brush it off, that makes me feel like you aren't hearing what I'm saying. And you don't think that it is true. Or if you do think it's true, is that okay? Like, what are the relations? What's the relationship you view me having with

like your family? Because I don't think this is actually a her problem. I think this is like a future husband problem and like the fact that you said you're kind of an afterthought when you go visit you're going to go see her i get it like that is just like by nature of like visiting and when you are the odd one out that like everybody's going to be talking about like you know all the people that they know and these things and like blah blah blah blah blah and it's hard and i've definitely like been there i mean i've spent every christmas with matzah's family for i don't even remember how many years but when you're earlier on in a relationship similar to how you are when you're trying to like well how do i fit in how do i impress them or

whatever what i came to the conclusion to and like realized that i was going to be a lot happier not trying to fit in and also like not to be like a conceited asshole but i'm just like what why no i if i'm gonna be a new person in this family like we're all going to adjust like we should all adjust to every new person. And like, in general, I think we should all adjust to every new person that we meet and person that's in our life. Like this isn't like a role you're being cast in. Like, it's not my job to like seamlessly fit into this and just like do what your traditions are and do like everything like that. Like, you know, we can all learn about each other's things, like what other people want and like life is going to change and like families

are going to evolve. And I'm not going to fit into, I'm not going to fit into somewhere. Cause like there's not there's not really a hole for you like there's not really a space for you and that's not like a good or a bad thing but that's because like a family is complete as it is and then like you bring in people who like you marry or you're in relationships with who like make you happy and it will always change the dynamic and it will change it for the better like these are like this is new people with new life experiences the second that you stop trying to like be what you think other people like want you to be like or who how you want to be in that role when you realize like that role doesn't exist like that is not a thing like I'm trying to be somebody that

like these people haven't come up with the idea of like what this perfect person is because you just need to be like you and enjoy like spending time there and like calling the shots of things that you want to do and things you don't want to do but it's going to be a lot harder if this is a mother-in-law problem if she is just like a two-faced bitch it's you're gonna be much more miserable if you're trying to get her to like you versus just not giving a shit if she likes you but i think the bigger thing is that i don't think your fiance either believes you when you say that like she's being rude to you or he doesn't care and it seems like he's picking his mom or he knows that she's saying mean things behind her back as well and he's trying to cover up for his mom

but i think that the person at fault in all this is the fiance because he should be the one that should be facilitating this relationship and if you're telling him that you don't feel comfortable and that she's not treating you the way that she should then he should be going to her and say and saying like this is how she's feeling you're not making her feel welcome you're rude to her can you please like first i would ask like what's your problem with her yeah do you have an issue with her what's wrong with her she's done nothing but be nice to you like she's been respectful i'm guessing i don't know you might be an asshole i don't know who's a bitch first right who is the make her bitch first but like he needs to respect you and she needs to respect you as well so like

if he wants you to be in this like in this family have a relationship with everyone and the mom doesn't feel like you're encroaching on her territory because that's how some mothers feel then i think that he needs to be the one that's facilitating this yeah if she doesn't respect you it's because he has made that okay and he doesn't respect you but yeah like when people like make comments like oh you should never have to like choose between your significant other and your and your family that is like i think fundamentally incorrect because when you have a significant other like that person becomes your family right like and also in uh an emergency it's always it's gonna be your in in this case of like a i mean it's like i'll specifically say in my case i'm

like a cis heterosexual relationship husband and wife yeah like then it becomes your extended family sure still your aunts and uncles but like when you marry someone they become your next of kin that becomes your number one and that's like that's legally medically and just also like emotionally should also be that so like it's a really setting up boundaries with family is something that is inevitably going to happen and you are going to be a team and if you are going to be legally recognized as his next of kin you actually need to be that and it needs to be like no i need to know that we're on the same side in the same team because like why the hell am i going to get like legally tied to you and financially tied to you if you are going to actually be in

a relationship with your mother and i'm like the afterthought here right it's like this is something you need to get figured out before the wedding and i'm just i don't think that there is anything wrong or anything that is like too minor or too insignificant to postpone a wedding over and i especially don't think this is an insignificant at all yeah if y'all need to go to family counseling then so be it if this is what everyone wants to feel like a united like to feel like a unit yeah yeah this is just i'm gonna get and now my toxic advice caveat you have this conversation we just had with you have this with him first okay have this first And if he like still denies it and it's like not setting any boundaries and is being a dick and is like, no, no, you're not like this isn't real, blah, blah, blah.

Then I, someone with no power, I'm giving you permission. While he's sleeping or doing something else, go through his phone and OK, no one else listens to this advice because this is like really going to blow up your fucking life unless you're ready for it. So this is why I'm giving it just to you. Search your name in his phone. Here's the thing, though. if she's talking about you she's not gonna use your name she's gonna you're gonna have a code name i know i don't think i but i specifically here's the thing like when someone in my family is talking about someone else in our family we don't say that person's name we say that

and their code name we don't say and it's not like a code name as in like we've decided this is the code name it's like that's just when we're talking bad about him that's who we that's why we prefer uh refer to them in that way i think that totally makes sense in more extended family but i think that if he is going to come this is poor family no no but i mean like in like a sibling i think if you are a significant other talking and complain to your mother i would think that he will use her name i don't think men are smart enough to come up with a code name i just don't think you're gonna find the bad things that the mother-in-law has said so my whole thing is i think you will see that there is like two different reasons why people can feel like they can uh

be rude to like someone else like some a significant other or any of that and it is because that is just who she is and she's a she's rude and she's a bitch and you can like see how she talks about people in those text messages or he has complained about your relationship and he has said things that then she might be using specifically to be rude and have these personal jabs be at you is that like he's complained about his relationship with you to his mom so therefore when you're like she's being rude to me and he's brushing like no no no no he's maybe thinking like well i told her that like you did this or whatever and like she wasn't being rude she was like sticking up for me or something like that so i think like you know see if they

talk about you and maybe if you even make maybe maybe from there you can see if there's any code names like or even just see like how those conversations are going but i don't think that you should ignore your gut because if you're your gut when someone doesn't like you or someone's rude to you especially someone you want to like you that to me isn't anxiety and I really don't want him to like make you think that this is all in your head and like you're just being anxious because no one would want to believe this and also like you're trying to like fix this and you're not being anxious about your behavior or you doing something like you know it's not like then you like slay awake at night you're like oh my god that one thing that I did it's like

what did i do to make this person dislike me like what her actions it has nothing to do with your actions but yeah also i would also like evaluate what his relationship is like with her and has he been to therapy because i don't know a man who is 30 who like blindly defends his mom and like can't set up any boundaries like that to me is actually like a massive fucking red flag yeah okay time for a break good luck whoo yeah good luck for a break we are back again and again you used to say back again back back

back again tell a friend or something no but i know but jd's back back back back oh for a second i thought it was like again again again and i was like that doesn't make any sense but you were still doing the wrong i know that's because i was thinking as i was saying it okay jade we're back back back back again again okay hi megan and melissa first of all love the show and i am in my car but i am safely parked thank you on your last episode you guys asked for some raunchy questions, so here I am. For some context, I'm a bisexual woman, she, her, in my early 20s living in a large city. I've really only had long-term relationships, one with a woman and one with a man, and both of them, the sex has just been, eh. I'm talking only missionary and doggy, simple

shit. My relationship with my last partner just ended, and I'm ready to hoe. So my question is, how do I get the most out of my hoe phase? How do I have that good, wet sex? What are the things that I need to try and the things I need to stay away from? Where do I meet these potential fuck studies. I'm wanting to experience everything I can before I start seriously dating again. And I want the one night stands. I want the cookies in a bar. I want the hey mamas. I want the really bad stories that I come home and I tell my friends about and we laugh about for weeks. Megan, do I need to experience the smart box water bottle dip? Melissa, do I need to book my flight to Italy? Also, just a disclaimer, right now I'm working on my healing, but later I can work on my

hoeing. I don't plan on going wild while the pandemic is still going wild, but hoping to use this advice to map out that plan i love you guys so much and hopefully you guys answer this because i'm ready to listen execute and call back with an update bye first of all love the energy second we can tell that you've been listening for a while because you referenced things from a long time ago and recently dude i forgot energy i was like who told you that smart water ball like me at some point that's so funny yeah um thank you for being well versed making this concise also you know we asked for some raunchy questions so this is something that hasn't been bestowed in a couple months no um you get a diamond

phenomenal i just feel really seen and maybe a little too seen in that call i was like maybe i reveal a little too much on this podcast then you put smart water bottle in your book i think so but sometimes i forget that other like people read it and i was like whoa my inner most thoughts no i definitely have i'm loving this for you also the healing to like i'm doing my healing now so i can hoe later uh-huh can you you should write a book on it yeah like we need after watching a certain book that a lot of people reference all the time that involve and just meditate and adoration is the book and movie starring uh julia roberts sandra bullock yes yeah yeah yeah starring sandra bullock uh if you get it you get it

if you don't get it yeah girls gotta get it girls that don't you yeah yeah yeah how are you here um i think you should write the newer younger cooler version of that because you have a way with words and i think that and following instructions following instructions so i think you can do it i think you can too this if this is a movie i would tell you to like make a zine like document your like this is your if carrie bradshaw was like you're like the less annoying carrie bradshaw like your sexcapate like that's like fun first of all i would if you don't journal already i would definitely like start a journal i wish i could be one of those people i'm obsessed with this so you're in your early 20s yeah it's a different time from when i was in my early 20s because now

you have dick at the with a swipe yeah yeah dick and vagina dick and pussy at a swipe did they they said they were bi right yeah okay yeah you got dick and pussy at at a swipe your fingertips and then your fingertips arrive perfect so you know i had to physically go actually i i still prefer to buy a whole plate i still prefer like oh yeah places because like i've been perusing the dating apps and i hate everybody on it yeah melissa left the house this weekend and has never ever been like like i i left the house and i got so much like it's what do we talk about in what episode it's in but am i wrong this week not the bonus right oh shit i forgot yeah it was in the bonus it might be the bonus for this for this yes it's yeah the don't blame me bonus yeah i left the

house so on uh see you next tuesday tomorrow if you're listening to this on monday i tell about just like i could have just had like so many people lined up but i'm still you know being covid cautious yeah but i feel like if you're just if you feel like you're in that mode then you just attract that literal pheromones yeah like literally yes like you like that's what you want that's what you're gonna attract so i say get out there because the pheromones can't come through unless you have just a magical smell of vision yes smell of vision coming through your phone i think the best way is to go out and meet people so like i went to a friend had a barbecue there was a ton of people there then i went to comedy show people were stopping me on the street like

it's just like i knew because i hadn't been out i hadn't been out like in a minute like where i just felt hot and i knew and i'm sure the second the first number was given out it was like the pheromones you were already like when you have that like one time like the when it when it starts it snowballs snowballs and then suddenly you're like you're welcome yeah like it was just like if you're on your shit and you know you're on your shit you're just gonna get what you want and it seems like you just want you know you you want to go out have a great time you're in your twenties, you know, you've had really, you've had bad sex. Yeah. Like just go out there, out there, go to bars, go, go to sporting events, go to, if you like sports, if you don't like

sports, you say you're just here for whoever, just go where you know that people that you're attracted to are going to be there. Yeah. And people who you like, like, like, so good sex, um just gonna say your early 20s very few people are having good sex and if they are they either masturbated a ton before and they are telling exact they know exactly what they want and can tell and they're confident to tell their partner or they're lying and they're not having good sex so just know that like you're not starting off on a different playing field or like behind than anyone like i was not i was having like fine sex in my 20s i also thought i was having decently good sex and i was like i mean i'm still in my 20s but like right when i like was right when i

was like just know that you're on the same field like as everybody else and like knowing what you want even if like all you know is that you want to have like good sex and like you want to hoe around and have fun that's like intention is honestly like half the battle of sex because when you know that you want to have fun sex you're going to be seeking out people who are fun people who you're also sexually attracted to and then you have that like fun repertoire repertoire yeah between the two of you and that banter and then that becomes a sexual attraction so i agree in like in-person kind of things or if you're going to be like swiping on an app like i think it's people you have mutual friends with and like someone you know or whatever but i think like

the key to having great sex is like early on especially when you're figuring out what you like is also liking the people that you're having like getting along with the people that you're having sex with like platonically romantic like it doesn't have to be like you know we like really get along romantically but do we have banter like are we like think of like books is it enemies to lovers like what is how are we talking with each other because like a conversation is like foreplay like a good conversation when you're flirting in a fucking bar and like you're just like really into it and you're just like oh my god we're vibing so much like that is really like 75 percent of it and then the rest is maintaining that through sex and then just communicating what you like

and what you're into and that's really what it is how to have good wet sex is the longer the foreplay and specifically again i mean like go out talk to people who are you flirting with and vibing with let it simmer because like if that's somebody you actually like want to hook up with you know if you're doing the vibing and and for the foreplay like consider talking foreplay yep consider those small touches that you might have while you're talking to them that's foreplay like be in tune with your body and how your body's reacting to that person when you're simply talking to them because you're not going to get that over an app and i understand that a lot of people want to use apps to like hoe out and like but you're just not going to get the vibe and

again it's like literally 90 personality you're not going to be able to get that like think about when you listen to a podcast I did really didn't mean us for a long time but like when you don't know what they look like and then you see what they look like and you're like oh my gosh that's so weird that's like not how I pictured you at all that to me is kind of similar to when you're talking on an app where you're like I'm missing a key component and it's not what you look like it's not the visual it's literally just like our palatable in-person chemistry and if i'm seeking out sex which is literally in-person chemistry like personified like i need to know that we have that i don't think apps are a bad idea at all i know plenty of people that have met their

partners on apps but i just know me as in my sarcasm and my humor does not translate through an app like i'm a i'm a full experience she's an aquarius that's really the vibe that is what it is like i think you have to experience me to like me and once you experience me there's no turning back and i mean that in a platonic or non-platonic way your life will never be the same suddenly you've two podcasts no it's true though but like i also think that there's if you want to like i don't know hoe and like meet someone on um a dating app and go out to drinks and dinner that's always gonna be my advice if you're trying to strictly just sleep around with anyone on dating I'm never going to say, hit someone up and then invite them to where you live or invite them where

you're staying or go to where they're staying just to have sex. I that's a safety wise, I wish it wasn't a big it is. And also, I don't want to like straight explain this to you. But that also applies when you're like seeking out like women to talk to as well. Especially if you're going to be traveling, there's some people can lie on things. And some people can target people and they can have other people who are with them who are targeting other people like you just want to be really safe so if you do want to use apps do them with like your friends and so you're like oh we're gonna like we're it'll be like a fun game we're all gonna swipe right on three people and we're gonna message these people make hey me and my friends are out at a bar like come on like we're

inviting three guys like you're my pick and like make it like that like literally the way to do this is you want to live your life like a movie so literally write your life like a movie yeah like just do shit that you would do that do movie shit just do movie shit and that's how it works like or be the fun friend side character you know like that is always that's and thankfully that person is now finally trying to get their own movie and you're like this is who i wanted to see all along exactly but yeah so stay away from situations where you're putting yourself in danger and you're also setting yourself up for potentially bad sex so i think like the more the more that you learn what you like and like you're really interested in maybe like a specific like you

want to kind of vet more specifically or you're traveling and you have a smaller pool and you have a harder time meeting people in this area then sure I think venture onto dating apps but I don't think that you should do that with solely the intent of like sex at the end of the night until you you really really know what you want and you have mutual like there's like a safety aspect there because I I just I get nervous especially I know you said maybe you made a joke about going to Italy because Melissa went to Italy and you're not actually going to travel but I do get nervous using when people use dating apps in overseas specifically and friends can't track your location and like people like time changes and like knowing that stuff like it can get really

dicey so just like the best sex is safe sex and sex that you're enjoying and you're going to enjoy that sex when you enjoy the person you're with or you hate them so much that you like want to fuck them but you have to like it has to be like still like the chemistry has to be and you don't need to like date them or like know them for a long period of time but like no you need to like if you talk to somebody at a bar that you are vibing with then you want to fuck them then fuck them but like do it in a safe way yeah i mean you're in your 20s and i also like don't know you as well but like go up to the people who look like they're having fun and also go up to the people who you might not be attracted to specifically like women who like look like they're having fun

and just be like if your friends are all in a relationship like find some fun single friends like find some people who are hanging out your where are you guys going later even if like again like you don't have to be attracted to like the people that you're specifically talking to but knowing that like these people are doing i'm watching them live a life live a life that i want to live i want to ask them like where like what are you doing the same thing i feel like when you see someone wearing a really cute outfit or where they get their nails done i'm like ask them you see someone with something that you want or something that you like ask them where they get it done like that whole like it girl or like it person like the concept and the idea that's oh

it's so elusive like everybody is literally just pretending they're the main character of their own life yeah and like if you see someone doing that you can just mimic what they're doing i'm so excited for you i feel your confidence seeping through your call like you got this shit oh yeah and if you're gonna have any quickies and bars uh a not your favorite bar b um well you're gonna probably get kicked out be clean surfaces only and um c please be on top of all your regular sti and std testings and uh as well as your potential partner and you're using uh physical protection as well as potentially hormonal use two forms of birth control and don't be so inebriated that there could be uh you know like don't slip and get like a traumatic

brain injury I have a not irrational fear of falling in the bathroom well as someone that has fallen in the bathroom every time I get in the shower like since that's been that was two three places ago and is that why I have trauma maybe because you used to make fun of me every time that I don't know you would bring it up a lot and you would make fun of me I think it's stuck with me so ever since then like every time i get in the shower i think about it i've had a couple close fucking calls i have like broken skin on like legs and shit yeah just not like my i'm afraid of that so yeah be careful anytime you're having sex in public a make sure you're like physically safe like you're not gonna get arrested and also you're not gonna get a

an std but also like you're not gonna like fall or get like actually physically hurt yeah because this like a lot of the time like the thrill of like having sex in public means that you have to be like so inebriated to do so that you're like cool with the risks and the complications that could potentially you could be facing but also that you might actually injure yourself and remember that monkey pox is still a thing yeah i was checking to see if they've changed the name yet but they haven't you would wait my friend works at the health department and she said they're in the process of it it's just like so not subtle like i thought at first that it was like like a how people were referring to uh covid with like racial terms but no and people think it's funny

yeah not taking it serious but okay next call hello so i am a 17 year old senior in high school currently and me and my boyfriend who I'm gonna call Jim have been like on and off dating for almost like my entire high school career but right now we were in like like our longest string of us officially dating at five months which I know isn't a lot but um it's been really good the only thing is that me and Jim one night like snuck out which I don't know we've been doing that a lot at that point so we didn't think it was like anything weird and we went back to his house and we're in his bed and his mom walked in on us like butt naked

like having sex in his bed nope we're not answering questions for anyone that's under 18 did you get your parents permission I didn't hear parents permission or guardians permission on the phone saying they have my permission to call into this podcast

and talk about how someone caught them having SEX I'm uncomfortable i'm uncomfortable too so we're making a new call so sorry i would like to know how long have you been here if you're 17 yeah how'd you find us and please have safe sex get regularly tested and um if you're under 18 you have to get your parents permission they have to like get on this phone and say we give permission for whoever yeah and that really specifically applies to

um content like if you are like hey i'm struggling coming like i am like family issues i'm still in high school that blah you know okay sure give us a call we will our own discretion if we're going to do that but if you're doing yeah no no you can't uh-uh okay no call round two so sorry 17 year old hi m&m i hope you're both doing well um i have a situation about being promised money from a family member. So I'm 24, she hurt, and this is about my aunt, 50-something, also she hurt. This call could also be suited for, am I wrong? So please tell me if I am in fact wrong. I moved from the Midwest to the West Coast back in July. A month after my move, my grandmother semi-suddenly passed away. She lived a great long life, but we just weren't expecting it that day.

My dad had been her full-time caretaker for about five years now, so he hasn't really had source of income. So everything was being taken care of. My aunt, who lives in a different but closer state, was my main source for updates. She told me she would pay for my flight. So I booked my flight for the airport she told me to, which was more expensive than the second closest airport. She has a lot of money, so I know this is not a factor in her eyes, but she told me to fly into that one because it was about 30 minutes close to my grandmother's house and a family member would have to come get me. It's been a little over a month now and her and I have talked since, but she hasn't said anything about.

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Explore OnStar tech today at OnStar.ca and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar, better never stops. pay me back for the flight i feel guilty for being concerned about this because but i don't make a lot of money and the flight was almost as much as my rent and i had the opportunity to basically get the flight for free on the day of my trip because it was overbooked but i didn't take it because i didn't want to inconvenience my family who's picking me up and at the time i thought she was saying i feel awful asking about the money

but and i'm sure she's dealing with the death of her mother so i'm not sure what would be appropriate to do should i wait should i ask should i just let it go um i appreciate any advice sorry i feel like i fumbled i'm reading but i'm still so nervous i don't know why um but anyways thank you for producing such an amazing podcast love you both have a great day all right you're wonderful thank you yeah compliments are really the way to our hearts yeah you you did great i don't know i have a very direct relationship with my family so if you want something i just asked for it yeah so i would just say hey auntie whoever this was can you reimburse me for the money like i would just be straightforward i don't think for me this

wouldn't be something that is a problem yeah i think i i and i understand i think that like there i don't i think if you're like a little bit hesitant about this it is either potentially because maybe you're not super, super close or you've never been in this position where you're like asking for money and like it's supposed to be reimbursed. So it just feels a little clunky. If you think about it like a job,

if you are getting reimbursed, it is like your job to provide the person who is reimbursing you with like the receipts. Like have you sent like an invoice? Like did you send her it when it happened or did you send her like after the credit card charge process? I think if you already sent it to her,

I would just play dumb and just be like, oh my gosh, I realized I totally, like I totally forgot to send this to you. Even if you did, because it makes it like, oh, there's no way I'm not. I'm not thinking that you forgot to pay me. I'm thinking I forgot like my bad. Oopsie. And just saying like, oh, I totally realized I forgot to send you this one.

Thank you so much again for offering to cover this flight. I don't like know how I would like would have been able to pay. Like, I don't know how I would be able to like pay rent like without this. Like, thank you so much. So like, you know, I don't think you need to include the last part. If you haven't sent her an invoice yet or anything like that, like if you've just if it was just like, oh, hey, I'm going to book a flight. She's like, oh, I'll pay for your flight.

And then you're like, OK, it's one of these two ones. OK, I'll pay you back. It's this one. Pick this one. It'll be a better airport. Yes, that to me is very much like it's a funeral. Like she's, you know, going through stuff like that makes sense to me why she didn't immediately like send you the money right there.

So like I would assume she forgot. and so i think you should assume you forgot not her like pretend like my bad and then do that because it gives her an opportunity to not feel like oh shit i'm an asshole or anything like that i think that's like pretty seamless as i've done when i've like needed money from people i've been like oh my bad i forgot to even though i know that they're the ones who forgot to do it but it really shows some people do offer money and like are greedy about it but i think it shows when you do that you kind of cover your basis of like i'm the one who is like so grateful and like i'm not expecting anything i fucked up you aren't like rich and stupid and forgot to do this like

no i think it still shows like you're you know really grateful and then if nothing if it doesn't happen from there you i think you call your dad and if that's your yeah because it's that's your dad's sister and just be like hey do you have any tips on how i could do this because like it is literally my rent money and then i think you formulate a different message to her with him there where you let her know like i'm not going to be able and like exaggerate like i'm not going to be able to make my rent without this like i wouldn't have gotten this ticket like you know um i'm gonna really put me in a really like bad position and like i know we're all grieving and it really sucks but like i'm gonna be in a really bad financial position or your dad talks to her

whatever he thinks is the better idea but i think um when you play dumb and grateful usually works yeah dumb and grateful i like that hey trying to get things it works that's what's that the yum not yummed young dumb and broke sure just be dumb and dumb grateful spending other people's money maybe i should be on the fence time for don't blame them oh my gosh what's don't blame them don't blame them is when you the listeners heard a call heard our advice and you're like hey i agree with y'all or hey i've been in that situation or hey y'all's advice sucks here's what i would do instead that never happens never happened but um you know just giving possibilities yeah it's a chance

so uh y'all can call in leave a voicemail send a voice memo and uh let us know your thoughts so here's one from season 10 episode 12 hey this is an answer to your most recent episode for the girl whose boyfriend was becoming famous on tiktok and who was abusive and she's wondering if she should reach out to the new girlfriend um this recently happened to me as a new girlfriend it was a bit different but basically this guy was like known to be a narcissist and like super manipulative and apparently everyone knew like in the next town over from mine except for me we ended up dating for a little bit we fell in love i got pregnant i had a miscarriage and he ghosted me because he

thought it was a bit much and even though we weren't planning on keeping the baby it was super traumatic and then his ex actually reached out to me and she was like hey he was like on tinder talking to other girls while you were having this miscarriage and basically like that's his pattern that's what he always does i've been thinking of reaching out to you for a while and i was like too shy but now i've kind of like heard a little bit what happened so here it is um here are the screenshots there was like so much proof he was trying to sleep with another girl when i couldn't have sex because i was miscarrying and all of that and i wish she would have told me earlier because i would have ran yeah so girl i don't know if you're listening to this and honestly

like good job for getting out i'm so proud of you but you need to tell her she's probably not going to believe you but when she gets that little hint that something is wrong she'll remember you reach out to her please do oh first of all i'm not going to repeat what i said while the call was on twice right i can't say that okay well just know if you can read if you can read lips you know what i'm saying i like i hate him i wish nothing but awful things for him i wish the awful i wish the most awful thing for him anyways first of all thank you so much for calling and sharing i've never we talk about this specifically in hypotheticals of like like the the other like the current girlfriend the current partner might not believe you but

like it does plant that seed in their brain and we have so many calls like the other one with like oh should I tell someone I saw someone's like boy I got a dating like all of these different like circumstances and we again always speak from a hypothetical like current girlfriend so to actually put a voice to that person who is like I wish someone told me sooner because we can all talk about in if I was in that situation that's what I would want but like you were legitimately in that situation and someone reached out to you and it was great that she reached out to you and you're like I would have liked it earlier even if I didn't believe her immediately and I think that's what we fear in those situations that we're not going to be believed in like but that's not

where it ends like specifically like that's just the start of it you again you plant the seed and it comes up in your brain when those things and i'm so sorry you went through this he is legitimately so fucking awful and horrible i mean i'm really glad that you wanted like that someone reached out to you and told you that i'm also really fucking sorry that you had to essentially get re-traumatized all over again with like that information but i don't want to make it sound like if you're you're you being happy that they told you i hope that uh you were able you're able now to like see him for like the villain he truly is yeah i agree he's horrible awful pure trash pure dirty nasty scum between my toes throw him in the trash

get in a landfill smash it throw in the ocean drown just know i just was saying the last part but in a past tense like it'd be nice if that had already happened yeah good god horrible for nothing you know what this is i mean not that i'm in this situation as someone who's like in a relationship but i hope that this is like the that like push that everyone needs who's on the edge uh about this edging no no but like who yeah you know what i mean where it's like i don't know if it's going to be worth it i think we create this like i think men made propaganda of this hypothetical person who like this hypothetical woman who doesn't want to know yeah you know what i mean like now that i think about it everybody like we always talk about

hypotheticals and like who is she i've never met her and they're like maybe bahati didn't want to know maybe do you know her maybe yeah but i don't know her i don't know i don't know anyways that is it for our episode we hope you all enjoyed thanks for listening or watching you can see the video on patreon again my nipples are there if you want to call my nipples are here they're just underneath yeah so use your imagination i thought you were just showing your hand to pretend that that's what no you're covering i'm telling your mom now that she's unblocked my mom would be like oh sounds like melissa did you see her tiktok so we hope you all enjoyed please give us a call for upcoming episodes if you have don't blame

them if you have updates we've been on a previous episode we would love to schedule you but yeah give us some new calls so we can give you some wonderful amazing life changing advice and we also ask that you go leave a review on the podcast app we appreciate it so much because we like when people say nice things about us and then while you're doing your good deed of the day or the week however often you're i mean you probably only listen to this once a week we're listening for other shows for the rest of the week head on over to our instagram and go comment your nipple is out on the patreon yeah maybe try to illustrate it no but i think if you like make people think that there's like a nip slip that people then like subscribe great so like come up with your

own creative way yeah to like get people to subscribe to the patreon you don't have to make it sexual i can just be like oh my gosh i can't believe that yeah so you want to hear a review yeah i think so well i left a review because i just wanted to see what my name was on here i knew there was like no but there's more oh okay there's more okay somebody what's your review are you not gonna tell me i was a guest with one of yours i mean you could see it the username is melly216 which is my birthday i don't know how to change someone ever were you ever referred to as melly no i don't know why that's i don't know why that's it i think and i don't know how to change i could leave it to see what it was i was gonna say i could leave a

podcast for you and i could not tell you right now what name would pop up so like now i'm kind of curious yeah okay this one is from z c cute it's a bug's life and they say i need more five stars my only complaint is that the episode goes by too fast and i have to wait until thursday to hear from these wonderful people again upside down frowny face emoticon old school is that the when you do the colon and then the emoticon is different than an emoji okay because emoticons you have to type that shit i thought an emoji was short for i thought it was emoticon nickname emoji i just feel like it changed once melissa melly i feel like once we got the actual oh it was a good new thing people called them emojis but before they would

call them emoticons but like you type an emoticon and it can turn into emoji that's what i'm yeah what's the what we need a big emoji hey they made a whole emoji movie it was big big emoji i'm i'm scared but thank you z z oh it's zz not zc no i realized that after okay that i well i listen i hear everything wrong enough with it oh okay big emoji it's a vibrating phone and you're reading it from your phone and we're recording this the video on a phone so meta yeah wow we've got we've got a few a few more i'll read them another day amazing but don't let that discourage you from leaving other views yes please go do it um and thank you i absolutely adore aggressive love and when people

tell me they just can't get enough of me because that's how i know you definitely haven't gotten enough of me because i am annoying and there is a limit in which you can process and handle and apparently i haven't hit it yet yeah also you do get more of us now because we're doing bonuses yep so you don't have to wait you can listen tomorrow on see you next tuesday which sounds confusing it is tomorrow it's just called see you next tuesday and it'll be on the next tuesday after that too and then wednesday sorry we're dry there you know well hump day i'm assuming you're getting it somewhere else yeah you know we get it somewhere else self-pleasure day our as as it's our lord today for us who's the lord who knows i was like my lumps my lovely i don't

want for you to be my lord but sure and then we've got thursday but am i wrong look next week it's gonna be in the same feet great oh yeah friday you got fisting friday friday you're getting fisted put it on your calendar put on your schedule sync up to your ical let everybody know in your contacts hey i'm getting fisted on friday sit on friday wait do you remember that tiktok song that was like big for a minute that like uh hoey country song like get nicked down in dailies yeah i'm getting fisted on friday you should request him to do another one you can make the theme music for fisting friday good because i don't want to use any like foley sounds wow i'm gonna roll also my pomologist thought i was fucking hilarious he like saw my ring he

goes some of us think you're very special and i was like i am very special he had to stop doing the exam and like sat down he was laughing so hard and then i went and got an extra and i came back he goes still thinking about your joke you are very funny and i was like this is my audience that's how i felt when i was with the people yeah but you wanted to have like sex with them this is like an old man what you're you were numbers the person that told me i was funny was a gay man so i did not actually that's a far higher compliment than a straight man telling you you're funny i know that i was that was oh that's like a girl telling you you're pretty right that's so much more wow i mean you are very funny thank you i wonder if he was an aquarius you know what i

probably got that i got the same vibe from him yeah there's something a queer fucking hilarious fucking hilarious male no demons absolute demons okay all right go watch my youtube videos buy my book buy my preset youtube video she is she's featured see my ass ass ass ass ass and follow us on our instagram our personal and our main go comment nice things on our instagrams because we always need our ego boosted this is a fun episode this is a really fun episode okay i should get strep more often i'm so kidding never a fucking gun please don't say my doctor literally was like stop getting stressed i was like okay okay bye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond and

print productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry production assistance by melanie d watson music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso