Don't Blame Me! - F Off, Partner

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

For But Am I Wrong Melisa is annoyed by "Passport Bros" Meghan doesn't believe that some businesses should have social media In But Am You Wrong: Reporting everyone who is racist towards you Tenant not closing the garage Friend and family who won't get fully vaccinated A partner who can't make their own breakfast And in But Are They Wrong AKA "Rachel of The Week" they nominate: Melisa: Packers Sanitation Services Meghan: Kelly Family Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: Vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelissa Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to another episode of but am i wrong starring two people who not once ever have been wrong prove it isn't it amazing it's like really a phenomenon that has been studied by nasa no like nasa's out of this world that was good thank you i like that when we houston we have a problem houston we have a problem we're right about everything and houston is like let us study you and we're like okay yeah and maybe then with this connection we'll be able to get you an alien some alien dick a little closer to space i mean they were coming for me but then the u.s shut down the little balloons we're not gonna get into that i can't i genuinely can't anyways let's not talk about the things we're not gonna talk about let's talk about the things we are

gonna talk about on this podcast and this is yes this is a podcast in case you were like what is this sound coming from my computer my phone my car well if there's a sign coming from your car i would first turn this down and then check there's not like a drive safe and you know just know that we're hilarious we're great we're wonderful we're fantastic and no distracted driving we don't we don't want that on our hands we do endorse though distracted 95 cubicle corporate behavior we love to know that some of you are listening to our podcast while we're like talking about something incredibly raunchy or hilarious with your airpods in and your boss is none the wiser and you have a fake spreadsheet up we love it we're all about it so who are we i'm melissa

diamond months and i'm megan i'm just i have one name like shakira her name is megan rinks that is it technically there's a lot more but let's not get into those we're not getting to technicalities no fuck technicalities stage you use your stage name megan rosette if you're old school and on this podcast we tell each other if we're wrong we never are we tell you if you're wrong and we tell people who will never listen to this podcast such as political world figures celebrities famous people entire countries if they are wrong it's a power trip for an hour to buckle your seat belts we'll explain each of the segments before we get into them but one of the best parts about this podcast is what melissa that y'all get to participate every friday ish

because every friday ish because you know sometimes votes are a little bit late sometimes people are just making other people a birthday cake and then they get lost for four hours were you gonna give me shit and then realize that that's what i was doing no okay i was just gonna word it in a different way and so you get to vote you get to vote on everything that is discussed in the episode and then we read it aloud on a little show called fisting friday every friday that fist can be as big as little as you want it could be a little it could be just like your pinky curled up and call it a little one-fifth fist or it could be a melissa-sized fist or a megan-sized fist okay so first up it's you with our segment but am i wrong where each of us propose

something that has either happened in our life a predicament that we're currently dealing with or a hot take or just a rant for the other person and we'll be like am i wrong and we'll let each other no mine is a rant this week i love a rant and um i'm actually surprised that you and i have never even talked about this this is exciting for us passport bros passport bros you don't know what this is passport space bros is the b capitalized in bros this is a collective this is a group of people this is an organization yeah they have group they meet on the internet and they're like we're high valued men shut the fuck up so think about high valued men the men that have pod with international travel yes and so i'm gonna read two different definitions from

urban dictionary and you can tell which one was written by a passport bro and which one wasn't i'm excited how will i choose the passport bros are men who have chosen to seek out foreign women typically from other countries for relationships they believe that western women have been influenced by cultural and societal pressures to behave in a certain way and that by seeking out foreign women they can find a more authentic fulfilling and harmonious relationship this is seen as a way to restore the natural balance between masculine and feminine energy and to avoid the wickedness of western women american western women have too many rights then here's another one men whose only means of attracting women is through financial exploitation this is

the only tool in their kit so they fly to exploited nations where women have less financial standing and show off 20 here and there to get women's attention unironically they don't like gold diggers in places like the united states but they they're fine giving their money away to women who'll do anything for their coins because they need to feed their families wow i mean i'm gonna have to say the first one was written from the first person point of view wow i've never heard of this term it's a collective of men which is already a red flag right already a red flag i've seen it because i mean i've just come across it like on the internet on different it doesn't even it's on several social medias these span but there's this one guy that i like that talks

shit about anytime one comes up and he he like sees it as his way to like bring it up and then talk shit about those men so specifically there was one man this weekend who was stranded in a country and he was going live on his either instagram or facebook talking about how he had missed his flight that morning and um he'd been calling the woman that he was dating and she wouldn't bring him any money and was like i can't like spirit first of all he was flying spirit spirit uh won't transfer my flight so um can y'all send me all i have is fifteen dollars can y'all send me a hundred dollars does not seem like a high value man to me me either me either so again all the i i'm all for women to get their bag in whatever way that they want to

especially this woman who knew this man didn't have any money took him for the money that he had and then not answering the phone anymore didn't deal with him anymore right like maybe he didn't even drop him off at the airport maybe drop him off at the airport no i don't think i don't think she even did that i like it he took a shuttle not very high value man behavior i mean this isn't anything new with there i think they would have used to have been called like a male order bride oh yeah because that's as soon as you started saying the topic of it i was like okay well there's definitely specifically white men fetishizing asian women yes well these are mostly black men i was gonna say it seems like this is also now no longer this is just anyone but

westernized american women uh-huh so the pool is quite large um allegedly right there was another video of this other man that was talking to the woman in a very demeaning way but it was clear that she was just like she hated him like so it was so much hate and she was gonna take him for all he was worth and then dip like it was so evident to everyone but him wow and so like they collect in these groups and they just like talk about it so like do they talk because like are they it's the goal to be married to these people okay their goal is to be married it's to go to these countries find a wife and bring her back find an impressionable wife that you can yeah essentially find a mother oh and then spread your seed and then raise little fucks just like you

yeah but i i think most of these women are just coming to get what they need to get and then dipping good we need to have like an alternative collective of i wonder if there is it probably is very like secret underground of like the women who are like on the receiving end of this and it's like here's how you hustle the shit out of these men for out of this stuff and like get what you need exactly exactly and i'm 100 sure that it exists but they're just smart without a doubt yeah wow and passport bros is that like the subreddit name like that seems like it would be that's their name for themselves like i just googled it and the first thing that came up was an article that was published three hours ago oh my god and it's like being topical as fuck it's

this website called level and it's like a website for men but men that have common sense you know like a women's magazine but for black men and they said why are passport bros so bothered by black women collective no collect your stupid stamps have your travel tris and leave us the hell alone get out and then don't come back uh-huh and the first sentence is if you have yet to hear of the so-called passport bros honestly i envy you it's a whole fucking mess we need like a big operation where we like get all this men on like a flight like we tell them it's like a vidcon for passport bros and they get on there and then we just like drop them off in the middle of nowhere where nobody is subjected to them and then they're trapped yeah that's my version torturing americans

imagine like proudly saying that like nobody in your entire country will date you so you have to go on a plane to find someone who will date you wow somebody did a thing on out of the loop on reddit so if you want to read more about it you love that one anyway your turn so mine is a hot take and my hot take is some businesses don't need a social media presence okay and the one i'm focusing on today because i think i will make this a multi-part thing because i have a lot of feelings on a lot of businesses that like you don't need to increase your social footprint do you want me to guess sure it's is it niche no eminem like the rapper eminem no the candy oh No, I think they're fine on social media.

The police. Oh. Police Facebook pages. When I tell you that, Melissa, it took me more than a year. I dare I say I'm embarrassed to say it took me multiple years to realize that these weren't photoshopped. And these weren't like just trying to be funny. These weren't like an onion version of someone making like a fake Facebook page. No, no, no.

These police precincts have full blown Facebook pages where they speak. and engage very tongue-in-cheek using like a similar brand voice to Slim Jim or Duolingo like it's not like oh some missing car here or Amber Alert it's like this man like you think you're having a worse Friday than this guy like lol no like mugshot wanted like come on in buddy like we promise we won't bite like it's like what ew ew ew ew ew ew ew so the entire goal of it in my mind was always like or the entire premise as I'm looking at them I'm like this is gross because this isn't using social media the way that government I mean okay certain government officials use it or like associated press or it's just news where it's just news yeah it's like

you're using this to push out news that is already like it's you're aggregating it yeah from different platforms and this is one of the things that you're pushing it out so more eyes can be on this no no they're like literally taking as if they took a team 10 course on how to go viral and i found this is so depressing not i mean not it's just more like as long as like oh this is the bad place i found this from the international association of chiefs of police and it's building your presence with Facebook pages. And it's a literal 10-page document on how to do so. And let's just go into like some of the basics.

Tell your story in your own unique voice. Share rich content, including photos, videos, and links. Create a dialogue through posts and tools that allow supporters to share and engage your message. Amplify your impact when citizens share your content with their friends. Measure and refine your messages by using Facebook insights to understand your audience.

The advantages of your key pages, like, you know, make sure you're connecting with people. You've got like a good engaging profile photo. Know your strategy. Know your story. What is your unique voice? Are you a large city police department or a small town force? How can you bring your department story to life in a compelling, authentic, and personal way? Know your audience. Who do you serve? Who's your target audience? How will they want to connect with you? Your content will be important to them. Is it traffic updates or crime alerts? Know your goals. Who do you want them? Will staff be assigned to the page what kind of relationship do you want to have with these people so then it goes on to like

creating your page develop your posting plan identify your voice identify the poster and speak in first person in your post citizens like being able to connect with a name and not just a faceless government agency engage your supporters in a genuine authentic ways look for ways your department can engage and take input from the citizens that they serve share photos and videos they literally have an example of richmond police department today's safety tip auto theft is a crime of opportunity. And it's like, okay. And then we have create a conversation. Get people talking by asking questions about your status updates or current issues and photos and tell them to like or comment on what you share. Respond personally to people. You don't have to respond to

every post, but a little bit of interaction goes a long way. Make your supporters the stars. If someone posts something great on your page, repost it. Respond personally and thank the person by name. Post a comments policy on your Facebook page to outline acceptable behavior. The Dallas Police Department's comments policy is a great example. They literally have an entire welcome page on the rules that you have for this. So then we've got offer a rich experience. And I just need you to know what the visual image they offer. Next to this, use photos and videos. Visuals are always more compelling than text. Post pictures and events, record videos exclusive for them, create highlights and events, announcements, encourage your audience to attend all your events

and invite friends share links about breaking stories and celebrate your milestones for example once you reach a significant number of likes post a thank you video thanking your audience i'm like oh you want a plaque you want a million subscribers plaque and in the offer a rich experience where they want to bring your story to life the um photo they use is a lapd needs your help wanted poster oh so i was right uh-huh and then it's like sharing exclusive content officer of the week sessions where you do a Q&A chatting with citizens, and then goes on to how to grow your audience, how to leverage existing stats, cross-promote to reach more people, and then we get to measure and refine. Use your insights to optimize performance so you can reach the biggest

audience at the time, apps, and then they tell you to, you know, make sure to check with your department specifically but you should be doing facebook ads and sponsored posts so waste the american dollars even more by putting money into promoting your facebook posts the entire thing is absolutely wild and they've got all these all these tips they literally have like post police sketches of wanted people and finally post fun content too not everything has to be serious excuse me yeah um there there's probably a different handbook that we don't see is like go to your local urban neighborhood and play ball if you can dance pop lock in front of black children do you know how to shuffle show us during the protests go and kneel in front of

a group of black do you remember that yeah go and kneel in front of a group of black people specifically ones that seem like they go to church and have them pray over you yeah so it should be a surprise to absolutely no one um so there was a study published in the proceedings of national academy of sciences that gathered all posts from almost 14 000 facebook pages maintained by u.s law enforcement agencies showing that law enforcement agencies on facebook disproportionately post about crimes involving black suspects and by comparing the relative frequency of agency posts about black suspects with local and for an example if 10 of people arrested in chicago are black and 25 of the crime posts on chicago pd's facebook page feature black suspects that

would suggest that black people are over reported by 15 percentage points and then this is a quote saying you can cut the data in a lot of different ways but if what you're concerned about is what the public is seeing is relative to the reality that they live in they are on average seeing a representation of black suspects that's 25 percentage points higher than the reality that they live in says rapaport who he co-authored the study with a duke university school of law and a stanford school of law ben grunwald and julian nyarko so as much as like people want to say if they want to say that this shit is harmless like i see it even get picked up by like buzzfeed and stuff that it's like there was like a couple weeks ago there was like a viral post it was like

man comments on his own wanted thing on facebook like hilarious exchange there is nothing harmless when it comes to policing at all and even if you think it's all oh this is like blasé or whatever like they are continuing to have their own racist policing practices on their social media presence and if you're not even aware of that they are contributing to your own implicit bias yeah and it's the same thing of like they make people think crime is up everywhere in general the amount of people who i hear that from all the time they're like can't do anything down walking down the in la everything's gonna get stolen i'm like so have you been robbed every time you've left your house like no and i'm like so then why do you think that's gonna happen every time you leave

your house right they have to make you scared so you can keep giving them money you're not wrong thank you now we're gonna take a break we're back from our break and on to our next segment now it's time for but are you wrong and that's when y'all write in give us an example of something that you might be wrong getting your life and then we judge and if you want to send it send it to but am I wrong pod at gmail.com keep it under 300 words we do ask that you include your ages if you want to let us know your pronouns please do feel free and you know write a little synopsis we can read it out loud for you all right here's the first one i'm 28 my pronouns are she her everyone else here is 25 to

30 and their pronouns are he him i'm north african and i live in a northern european country i have a problem with my workplace which is predominantly white i've been working there for two years i'm qualified and I work my ass off. While I have a lot of responsibilities and I'm valued as an employee, I don't escape the racism. I have no problem fighting with the blunt racist comments, but I have a problem replying back to backhanded compliments, questions that have racist undertones and jokes that everyone laughs at but make me uncomfortable. For example, I have fought and reported someone for saying that working there is my ticket to live in that country, which is not even true, but that doesn't matter. However, I have heard countless times how annoying it is that they

have to speak English to me and I let it go. Well, I find it hard to take action because it is emotionally draining. That's not the only reason. I admit that the main reason is that I want to keep my status within the company and I don't want to be on some people's bad side. Recently, a fellow immigrant joined our company and he reports to me. I try to make sure that he doesn't have a bad experience and I stand by him if any situation arises. However, I still pick my battles with the rest of my team. My question is, am I wrong for not fighting or reporting everyone who is racist to me is it my responsibility now to not let it go I am only trying to survive but sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my values no you're not wrong in this situation like you said

you're trying to survive you're trying to protect your mental health you're trying to protect yourself because you work in a predominantly male and white air like job this is a lot for you to take on mentally while trying to do your job like you should only be there just to do your job other people don't have to do that and you have more on you than everyone else that's working there so no like you do as much as you can or as much as you want to like if you didn't want to do anything you didn't you won't have to do that also like i know that you you're trying to be like an ally to your new co-worker but you can't protect them from everything either there's only so much that you can do so don't beat yourself up over feeling like you're not doing enough

you showing up to do your job is enough yeah even if you just wanted to like make your money and be successful like that's all like that's fine like you don't have to have like a a noble motive to not constantly 24 7 be reporting people for microaggressions and macro like right like that's adding more onto your job when that shouldn't even be your job to begin with no i think like the only thing if you feel like you like how you are going to handle and like what your threshold is and what you're comfortable with is going to be different than anyone who comes on so like so you're subordinate i would just like if there's i'm assuming that actually i don't know where you are so i was gonna say i'm assuming that there's some sort of handbook or

something that you take as a new employee that shows like the guidelines of like oh what behavior is like okay and what's not okay and i think if like you have the desire to do so if i'm me saying this is you're going never thought about it then like no but if this is something that you've thought about and this is something you want to do like i think if you've thought about wanting to like pull him aside and being like hey my threshold for what i'm comfortable with in this company is going to be different than yours please don't hesitate to like if you report something to me I'm not going to tell you to not I'm not going to like stand in your way like how you want to operate and how you feel comfortable I'm here to aid and assist you in that or if you're like you

know what that doesn't make me feel comfortable then I would make sure that your supervisor is like okay can this can this funnel through a different channel in this way but other than that like if that's something that you've wanted to do go for it but like they're they are also not your responsibility and also you don't have to be a you don't have to be a role model simply because you're you're the only one yeah that's like not a position that you chose or opted into like that's the fault of the company for being like predominantly white and you don't have to lead the way pave the way she'll show someone around and like carry the reins on this like you can just do your job because that's what they hired you to do right hi Eminem I 27 own my own

house and rent out the top floor to my roommate female 26 we each get a stall in the detached garage but I also keep a lot of house slash garage related items in there the problem I'm experiencing is my roommate will accidentally leave her garage door open after returning home a lot since moving in in August she's probably done this a dozen times with many of these instances occurring at night most recently she left the garage door open when coming home late one night last week. Thankfully, I've always been around to catch the mistake and get the garage closed ASAP. Every time it happens, I let her know that this can't continue and I give her suggestions on how to change her routine to hopefully prevent this. The issue is that I have a garage door opener in the

house so we can enter the detached garage more easily versus unlocking the side entrance to the garage every time. I always close the garage door as I'm leaving the garage and exit out the side door locking it behind me. So I've suggested that she do the same. Instead, she continues to exit out of her garage door and rely on remembering to close the garage door once she's inside the house. Every time she dismisses my advice

and just says she'll try to be better about remembering. I have expensive items in the garage. Examples, snowblower. But you should have seen this short. My brain trying to think, what is that? And I can't have the garage door

left open overnight. It's to the point where I'm worried to be away from my house overnight. Would it be wrong to put my foot down here by taking away her access to the inside garage door opener? Yes, you would be wrong. is my full-blown opinion first of all not here to you know you already made the decisions never

should you live with your tenant like it is just not gonna be a good situation because it will feel personal to both of you like it will feel like oh this person is not listening to me they're like disrespecting me and doing this i would look back on like what you agreed on the lease because you might not be able to remove that and then you could get sued and then you might not be able to have tenants yeah that was going to be my thing is like what does it say in the lease does it say that the garage is included in it and does it say that the garage has to be closed so it's when having a roommate no when having a tenant and landlord situation when you're living somewhere it is really fucking hard to share things so truthfully like you should have a second one

for your tenant like that should be it and if you have something that is like you know you don't want to get stolen or whatever it is like you know tenants sometimes like a microwave explodes like some things can happen and it's unfortunate but it's they happen at the same rate whether or not you are the landlord living with your tenant or or not like they happen to homeowners they happen renters like things happen all of the time and having a tenant does increase your risk of you know they're not you can't control them in the way that you necessarily want to so they might leave the garage door open so at this point like I would check your rights like if you want to evict them do I think it's like a really not good thing to evict someone for yeah but I think that

first and foremost she should have been given her own garage door opener from the start and if you can't do that now then I think that you adapt to your tenant you don't make your tenant adapt to you because you don't know for sure that you get another tenant and that they're going to do what you want them to do if it's like in the lease that the door has to be closed and that she has to have this space then you know then you can enforce that but if it's in if it's not there then you have no rights and so i would buy a smart garage door opener that automatically closes at a certain time that you set it for because that's what you need to do and even if you say in the late like verbally they agreed and it suddenly said like that door has to remain

closed you can't then take away her access to the garage even if it's like well it had to remain closed you didn't you lost those privileges that just means you have a reason to evict her if you're in a state that would require that like there is the idea of like putting your foot down doesn't exist here because like this is this is not a personal relationship with boundaries like this is a like a legal and contractual relationship and even if it's not and she's just paying you there's a transaction of money here so even if you didn't sign an incredibly official contract like there is still like housing rights that are just designated by your state so by the transferring of money you have opted into those even if you didn't know that you did or you didn't sign a

document saying you opted into it like yeah because even if you didn't sign anything then squatters rights at this point no but the second you started paying money then you've entered into a contractual agreement even if there wasn't a formal contract here so i just i like don't want to come for a landlord because you're a girl a listener of our podcast and you're writing in and to me this doesn't seem like a you know scamming sort of situation that a lot of like the really unethical aspects of being a landlord of being a landlord like I think they're you know having a singular tenant and having essentially a roommate situation all that I don't find that to be incredibly unethical but I do think it can get really messy and I think this is an example

of that so I would know that no matter who you have as a tenant it will be messy so i would just read all your rights consult with a lawyer yeah all right writer number three dear queens of the world i've been told by a friend that this is a problematic viewpoint and would like to know if i am wrong i am 26 he him vaccinated and the first booster for le covid wow she and the only person in my family to not catch covid once i got into an argument with my mother because she did not want to get a booster or have my little sister vaccinated because of the symptoms my mother had when she got vaccinated. I told her I did not feel comfortable going back home because they were so against future vaccines. And I am surrounded by

thousands of people every day because of work, regardless of the fact that I always wear a mask. I even said that I would be upset if she ever died from COVID because it feels like choosing to not be fully vaccinated is like not making a full attempt at protecting yourself from getting sick. I even asked a friend to get boosted because of the same reason. They said this was problematic as it is rude to think that someone did not make a full attempt at living if they did not get a booster. Am I wrong for thinking this? I'm referring only to people who can be vaccinated and not those who have existing medical conditions. Please let me know what you both think. You can be honest and brutal thank you an extreme anti-vaxxer i'm so against vaccines oh my gosh we stand with you 100

percent um i've made ultimatums to people i know i've told friends like that we're like i'm not getting the second one because of how the first one made me feel i was like how did it make you feel oh i was sick for a day a day have you been hung over do you know how long covet lasts though I just sometimes I just have to talk. I talk to people that say like they're not getting the second vaccination. Like, why? What did you do? Like, how did it make you feel? What are your reasons? And usually I am able to debunk something that they learned that was not true. yeah and give them the actual facts and so i stand with you a lot of times people just aren't educated or won't read the information and you have to present it to them but i am fully vexed megan is fully vexed i'm like waiting for boosters like it's fucking christmas morning i usually get mine around that time so nice it does feel a little bit like jolly festive holiday

so no you're not wrong and if people decide that they want to put their own life at risk that's not something that you have to subject yourself to so if they feel like that they want to risk themselves you don't have to risk yourself so you don't have to be around them yeah and i think the way you described it was like very like you described it very well like it feels like you choosing to not be fully vaccinated is like not making a full attempt at protecting yourself from getting sick and i don't think that's cunty at all i definitely have said things that are far more not i don't want to manipulate in a bad way but something that is like far more i think where i've literally like it's feeling like you don't value my life i've said that that's not too far

That's not rude. All of these things are facts. If you're not going to value and put the actual conscious effort into listening to the science and medical journals and what professionals have recommended and encouraged that we have worked thousands of years to get to this point where we have the science to do this, if you're choosing not to do that, not only are you not investing in your own life and protecting yourself, you're also not valuing the lives and the health of anybody around you we're on the same page and i know it's it's lonely here but it's um sadly lonely being right in this situation right okay our final submission i-22 male made my husband 23 male very mad the other day my husband grew up very privileged because his dad was a doctor

he had two maids and a lady that made his family food monday through friday i knew this going into the relationship and i've been fine with it i taught him how to clean and cook oh my gosh and he's been great about everything. However, I've been working more lately, and I've been very busy and in turn really stressed. When I get home from a long day of work, I just want to relax and scroll for a while. But recently, my husband has been very upset that I've stopped making him food and that I'm, quote unquote, not giving him attention. And he's, quote, bored. I tried my best to nicely tell him that he's a grown man and can entertain himself. He gets mad in the moment, but over it later. But last week, I was home working on a project for my job. He knew I needed to work,

but he was mad I wouldn't make him breakfast or tell him what to make. He claims it's too hard to figure out what to cook. I told him I was busy and to figure it out himself. I was getting stressed because my project was hard and he was irritating me. So I told him to fuck off

and that making yourself food isn't fucking rocket science. And he got super pissed and was still mad all day. I don't feel bad for what I said, but he's still mad about it. So am I wrong for telling him to fuck off? Sentiment?

No, but it depends on the boundaries of your relationship. So like, regardless of the, like, I think you're, you are fully right in everything. like I don't know how you've handled this like I would lose my shit about this but I do think and this is coming from like an incredibly biased and personal place so feel free to completely ignore this if this is not related to you but like my relationship we have a very strict like

there's no swearing at each other rule regardless of like what the content is about and that's something that we I personally established like very early on like we don't do yelling and we don't do swearing like we've definitely like raised our voices like getting I mean maybe one time months got like raised his voice slightly and I left him at Ikea and I was like I will come back when you calm down and like I know for me like my threshold of like what is a raised voice is a lot lower than a lot of people and like I acknowledge that that's a boundary and something I clearly set up ahead of time so I think if you've set up the boundary that you don't swear at each other regardless of how contentious this gets then I think the only thing I would do would

be like apologize for the word choice but explain and justify the sentiment and it's like I could have picked a different word but you know but you're saying you don't feel bad for what you said and I don't think that that's wrong unless that boundary was set up ahead of time because I think that this is like weaponized incompetence and that the idea that you've taught him and he's learned how to clean and cook which is so much more than you already needed to do but he acknowledges that but then it's like he pretends he knows and then it's like but no i actually don't know and it's like why do i spend all that fucking time like you spent your time and energy teaching him how to cook and teaching him how to clean but it's like oh no these were just training wheels the

whole time like i still need you to do this i don't think you're wrong at all because he's just using you if he cannot figure out what to make for breakfast there's a thing called google there's also a thing called hmm what do i have a taste for or you know huh what's in the kitchen you you told him like how you feel and he was just irritating you and you told him like fuck off and i don't think that that i think in this situation it called for it sometimes things call for certain words because it doesn't get through to people he can be mad all he wants but again this is weaponized and confident you know i kind of low-key take it back because now i'm realizing you said fuck off and that is very different to me than fuck you or something like this like

fuck off is an expression that like i if i can say it jokingly i would probably i could say something in a serious matter but i would never say like fuck you in a i mean i mean they quote they said in quotes make yourself make making yourself food isn't fucking rocket science that's not the swear that's nowhere near the swearing that i was saying that i we have a heart like if if mox and i said that like that would not be a boundary it was the fuck off but now i'm realizing that it's fuck off not fuck you yes so no i take i take it back even if you have a boundary i don't think this this wouldn't cross crush this wouldn't cross my no swearing boundary because you're saying an exclamation this isn't uh derogatory this isn't specifically at you yeah

so no in my eyes you're not wrong i believe that you've done too much for him already way too much i guess you love him but like begrudgingly melissa guess is that you love yeah i guess you love him or like or he's he brings something to the table but i can't quite put my finger on it because maybe money but if it's money then he needs to be hiring someone to make his food you are not the hired help the hired help you are his partner like i can understand like if this is like if you weren't working and this was your job to manage the household like that was your singular job then okay but he still doesn't there's a nice way to ask for things if you're busy doing something else hey um i'm hungry

do you have any suggestions for what i can cook yeah in those instances i think if you people want a stay-at-home partner and someone who manages the house i think your expectations have to first come as a romantic partner second as a household responsibilities and so like even in that instance like i think the only person you could ask that of that it wouldn't be grossly inappropriate would be an employed chef because that's what their job is like a chef who's like there to teach you how to cook. And it's like, what do you think I should eat? What do you think I should make? Like, that's the only time that this is okay. And like, I feel like he's spinning it and maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like he's spinning it in like a cutesy way.

Like it's too hard to figure out what to cook. Like, it's just, this is not endearing by any means. I don't know. I have a red flag with people who were raised with everything being done for them like everything was cooked for them all of these things and it was done by hired parties not their family not their parents and then they're okay with getting into romantic relationship where they expect and are okay with their partner doing everything that was done for them as a child that were careers that people were paid for that just gives me a major ick is like an understatement so I you're mad stay mad you're not wrong yeah all right time for a break and we are back this is our final segment but are they wrong where we nominate someone in

pop culture current events politics something that's happening in the world right now and they wear the cone of shame we also call them worst of the week the woat or the rachel of the week yes and so my nomination for this week is the packer sanitation in keeler wisconsin so one of the country's largest cleaning services for food processing oh no employed over a hundred children in very dangerous jobs at 13 meatpacking plants across the U.S. So the Department of Labor said on February 17th that they have to pay over $1.5 million in civil penalties. And that's just penalties.

This isn't like coming from lawsuits that the children may eventually do. The investigation began in the summer of 2022, and there were meat packing plants that were searched and so the base is in Wisconsin but they're also located in Nebraska and Minnesota and they found 31 underage workers as young as 13 then when they continued to do their search there were underage workers in eight different states 55 locations total the children involved were ages 13 to 17 and there was a the agency got like a temporary restraint order in november and then a permanent injunction in december and to the consent judgment that committed the company to no longer employ minors illegally

so they're still in business yes and it's kind of hard for them not to be in business because they're like one of they're the largest in the country so if they go away there's like nothing a lot of the the companies who they provide for can't say that they're not going to work with them anymore because there's not there's not another option so monopolies do yep holy shit so in the past three years children were found using very like high caustic cleaning chemicals and clean dangerous and power-driven equipment like skull splitters and razor razor sharp bone saws i'm so sorry who the fuck named those things that's really terrifying yeah at least three of those miners suffered burns from the chemicals some of the children worked overnight shifts and

would go to school the next day the fine was paid last week for each minor which was a little bit over fifteen thousand dollars the maximum allowed under federal law but investigators believe the company actually employ many more than 102 children that were verified um and so they they have like there's a timeline for how long that they have to identify all those individuals so like this isn't a clerical error they were specifically hiring these children and the vice president of marketing of course they always have to spend something said that their company has a zero tolerance policy against employing anyone under the age of 18 none of the minors identified still work there because they can't but these plants all eight of them are in arkansas colorado indiana

kansas minnesota nebraska tennessee and texas the one with the most violations was the one in nebraska and so yeah children shouldn't be working in a plant no and they're trying to like lower the minimum age of employment in a lot of states because they want more children working and the sad part is is like these some children these families are neat they need so the family itself needs money so yeah and so like as much as like this should be shut down the root of the problem is no no parent is sending their child into the workforce because it's fun or because the kid wants to it's because they need the money and they're not able to make ends meet and I don't remember exactly when my dad worked in a I mean my dad worked in a steel mill for like a good chunk

of his life in Pittsburgh I don't remember how old he was and if this was a story that he told me that like it was about him or it was about someone else but that they used to specifically like you know kids and people who were young and really small to get into like some of the really dangerous parts and there's like it was like something like canary something there's some term something about that of the idea that for a lot of us know who in their right mind would hire a kid but for a lot of like blue collar jobs there are things that are dangerous and of some ways to cut corners on certain things um is based on your size and so they desire to hire children and people who are small who can fit into spaces and who don't have a high understanding of risk and knowing

that like there's a reason why kids like throw themselves like and you're able to do those things like you don't have as much of a sense like clinically you do not have a sense of mortality or your own body or limbs the awareness where they all go how they all land you don't have that as much when you're a child and so your inhibitions are lower and you're able to make more money quicker and riskier right with people who also aren't able to know their rights and unions and all of that stuff and my dad is old like and this was in the i don't know 70s or something like even probably before that when he was doing this and this shit still happens yeah the ones in arkansas are from georgia's which is a chicken place and tyson as well i was wondering when did this get

published you know uh it was last week i believe the 17th i really hope this gets a huge amount of traction and a good some lawyers step in because these families are not making money to take the time away from their jobs to find a lawyer to work with them pro bono to file cases yeah but then i'm like will those parents also be subjected to endangerment of a mire too if they were aware that their child was going but then but it's like if they were hired but also they're under the legal age they're along the lines of like when you start an employment like there can be like valid and not valid employment but like at that point like they could fight back with like a parent aspect of it but they would settle like there's no yeah they would settle but like i'm

just saying like separately the risk of that like for example like in arkansas i know the legal age to work is 15 and you're if you are younger than that you can get i mean if you're between 15 and 17 you have to have a parent sign off on your work stuff yeah so but yeah i mean they're skirting it and at that point i do think if if you're advertising a job and you're hiring children the responsibility is on the employer it is but it still could be something no yeah i think it would be the argument and probably why some parents especially if they're poor don't cps and like oh you're poor let's take away your children yep so absolutely fucked so i would like to nominate the kelly fam on tiktok yep we've got another family vlogger and boy oh boy do i

usually stay far away from these people because it's like i can hear my final few brain cells popping like it's popcorn and it's just miserable to watch and also melissa as you know this is a family of blondes. Blonde mom. I don't know who these people are. But you know how I feel. Okay. About procreating with fellow blondes. And this proves why you should not do this. No smart decisions were made. So the Kelly fam is on TikTok. This is where this originated, but it did also span to YouTube as well. They have 1.2 million followers on TikTok, almost 100,000 on Instagram and 18,000 on YouTube. And they posted a TikTok and a YouTube video on this subject. And the youtube video is aptly titled i made my toddler if i speak loudly just know that that's going to

be in all caps so you can give them give the vibe oh i know who these people are okay go ahead i made my toddler tall enough for thrill rides at disney so they make this tiktok saying their kid loves thrill rides but he's just not tall enough for the big ones they show clip of they show a clip of him at disney being measured and not meeting the 40 inch requirement and then they said they didn't want to stop him from feeling that rush though so then they show a tutorial on how they made shoes which essentially is gorilla glued three inches of platforms flip-flops all together so this is a toddler and when I tell you that like this is not a child like this is legitimately a toddler a toddler and they don't do a lot of full body shots because you know I

think once you hit three you could be anywhere between three and five and if you don't see how tall someone is like comparison to the rest of your kids like so I think they do make it kind of look like oh this is a five-year-old that they're increasing this height and all of this no no this is like a legitimate toddler so this video blew up it is as of the 21st of February it is still up has not been removed neither has the YouTube video and so far Disney has not made a comment but Disney's been tagged countless times along with Oreo which they had a sponsorship like pretty much right after where they posted about that so the dad did an apology video and i just have to say you know those faces you know those faces of blonde men speaking on camera like on

tiktok that you're like oh i don't trust you i just have to assume that you're like a mormon minister like this is a youth pastor vibe like that's his whole vibe it's like you would roofie my drink and or you would try to convert me out of like a religion i was already in like this is just it's he's not does not have good energy here and he did his apology saying that he would never put his kids in danger I love my kids more than life itself I would do anything for my kids and then says I would never condone someone faking to get their faking their child's height to get them on a ride and says you don't actually know what happened you don't see him go on any rides which is false you do see him go on rides you do see him wear the shoes like all day he's already tall

enough which is a lie and he then has him and his wife measure their kid and it shows that he's wearing shoes not the platforms but different shoes and they say stand up straight and then it cuts to just a clip of the top of his head and the measuring tape where it shows him measuring at 38 inches which is still not tall enough and he's wearing shoes and they've cut it there's no full body shot to prove like yes this is how tall the kid is and again it's already short enough so the dad says he's tall enough without shoes but the mom also said he's 37.5 inches they can't keep their own lies straight between them and he they said that he only rode two thrill rides and then sarcastically he said he had a really good chance of falling out of those rides the next video he

does also sarcastic saying since you loved our last parenting hack here's another and it's put your child in the dryer after a bath because wasting these environment and killing towels no then he also has a disclaimer it says disclaimer don't be dumb enough to actually do this then post a video of them on slinky dog dash which is like a roller coaster which he is not tall enough to ride and the mom singing along to disney music and the i don't endorse anyone looking at videos of children because they can't post these things without their consent but it's so abundantly clear that he has family vlogger child vibes, like his eyes.

I'm like, oh, wow, this is incredibly depressing. The dad is just constantly replying to all of the comments on the video, just like sarcastic as fuck. And then did another apology video this morning and uses sad TikTok music in the background and says, I'm very much a flawed individual.

And it gets really fucking Jesus-y, like really, really Jesus-y. And I didn't, I assumed that that was going to be his audience to begin with. And it definitely is. and as i said in my video i'm a flawed individual that needs jesus and needs grace every day and it's basically like my wife and my children accept that i like you know i need jesus and

i'm gonna make these mistakes but with between me and jesus and it's like so would it have been an act of god if your child fell out of a roller coaster and the reason why there are the requirements for a roller coaster is because somebody else's kid had to die for a requirement to be there so what's that that's science and that's gravity and like you don't get to decide in that instance you are playing god with your child's life right right so he then says if we were making and everyone keeps like just basically referring to him as you know cash cow like he just sees the dollar signs in his kids and is not focusing on their safety and then his rebuttal is if we were making so much money on social media i wouldn't have a full-time job and neither would

my wife now here's a great little fun fact his wife is a nurse from florida wonder how that degree is legitimate illegitimate remember a few weeks ago says that they're not making a lot of money on social media but then finally says i would have removed the video if i thought i was wrong the one thing i do want to apologize for is for all the people that actually stood up for us and tried to protect us and vouch for us and then you got attacked because of us i want to apologize for that and then says i'm really sorry i didn't handle it in a perfect way and just anybody who's ever had an apology from like a toxic narcissist who's just like i'm sorry i'm not perfect and you're like okay conversation's over says that he's not taking the video down and then finally

says at the end of the day i'm responsible for me my wife and my kids do i have a big platform yes i do but you are responsible for you regardless of what you say we want to move past this so that's this man and to say that the internet would not miss his pathetic excuse at like new vine style facebook level comedy videos is an understatement like this is a fully grown man treating his like wife like he's like doing all of this like pretending to love my wife so she'll let me go golf and i'm like there's no punchline there like none of it's funny you have no natural sense of humor like you're it is as if a robot in a foreign country was like How do I compute every single different algorithm of all like worldwide these kinds of videos to make the perfect viral video?

And then they have an animation of someone doing it where there's like, it's literally like a puppet. I whenever I see videos like that, I'm like somebody really sat down and brainstormed this and was like, there's no way there is an outline thought, you know, this is this is going to be a great idea. they sit there they they figure out how they're gonna shoot it because you know it's always a setup oh yeah of course they figure out how they're gonna shoot it then they shoot it then they look at their phone and they're like yeah this is it then they go pick whatever stupid music like there's so many steps before they actually post it and not during none of those steps they were like this is a terrible idea no not one and like that level of delusion as we can see is dangerous you went from just being embarrassing to literally almost killing your child in a

roller coaster and survivors bias survival bias same thing is it's very real and so people think that like well i've done this and like my kid's fine this this is fine like they can do it one time and be fine the second time it only has to fail one time and there's a reason why they have these um it's really expensive and difficult to come up with to do these regulations the reason why there are specific height requirements for all these things because there's been a precedent sent by a tragedy that has happened before they don't just have like a baseline that they're being like overly cautious and at this point when they make new rides they do they take the studies from different ones that are similar engineering is way more advanced they use they they have test

dummies in them several times and if i've seen it recently where the dummies all fell off at the first loop and they're like absolutely we're not uh opening this back to the drawing board and like things slip through the cracks this is gonna sound like really bad because of what i'm about to say like things slip through the cracks and there is room for human error and other shit that happens in these instances and you can't prevent that but you can prevent the actual requirements i remember county fair marin county fair i went to when i was like a kid and there was this roller coaster i think it might have been ring of fire something where you just it's like a loop and you just go upside down and i went there and i went on the ride with my dad

and we're going i was not a small kid but i've got like a little bit of broader shoulders now but i've always been like lanky i'm like relatively narrow but i'm tall and i'm my shoulders are not the most narrow thing in the world but like my arms are pretty skinny and so I don't have a lot of they're very slow you can slide off my shoulders pretty quickly there's not a lot of stability and sturdiness there that you would have if you just took my measurements and didn't look at me and so I could go on this ride I passed the height requirement and it soon as it goes upside down my ass lifts up off of the seat my shoulders start going through and my dad just like shoves my like puts his arm in front of me and shoves my legs down and like terrified the

entire fucking time that it was like if you let go i will fall out of this ride and i met the whatever loose requirements there were at the county fair for this and that's i'm not saying my body's an anomaly but like you know scientific okay sure you're broad this way it should work i mean you're this tall so we assume you should be this broad this should be okay whatever it is knowingly not participating and following the guidelines of the safety requirements and then posting it online about your children your children are going to fucking hate you when they grow up if they don't already hate you right now yeah when i was in like seventh grade ish same height as i am now i haven't grown since then i was at universal studios not the one here

i don't remember i think in missouri i think or something and st louis yeah it was st louis and we they had the batman right that was just all loops and i sat down in the thing and my the harness came down and i and it didn't it wasn't clicking all the way to my chest that was mine and i told the guy i was like hey i don't think this is it and he comes over and he does a little moves it and he goes no you're fine as we're going on the first loop i'm squeezing so hard that it clicks back and actually puts me in place oh thank god so if it hadn't clicked back i would have fell out that bitch yeah the idea that people think that safety regulations are to like stomp on your fun and not to protect your children because you can't have the wherewithal to protect them

yourself so fuck this man fuck this family and i really hope and like anyone who defended them and like i really hope that their kids are safe and are evaluated to make sure that where they're living is safe and the circumstances and uh there's a lot of people in the comments who are like i really hope cps has seen this i really hope disney disney's definitely seen at this point they should most likely be getting a permanent lifetime ban and the children might not get a lifetime ban but the parents are probably getting a permanent lifetime ban i disney doesn't fuck around with this shit anymore no and they have like face recognition now so if even if they try to walk in there immediately out yeah they're i they've been through and survived enough of

tragedies of happening and they've been able to maintain a really positive brand presence and improve from that that they're not risking that for some like fucking low level wannabe blonde like mormon family yeah so then a lot of people had suggested like we're like i really hope cps has seen this and then you know a lot of people popped out of saying like no this is not cps for cps is for people like you know who like live in filth and all of this shit and it's like oh cps for poor people no no this is child endangerment and just because child protective services are there to protect the children just because it looks flashy and there's a camera in their face and they've got clean clothes on doesn't mean that what they did wasn't dangerous it wasn't

neglect and it wasn't endangerment and the idea that that has a specific look is why a lot of child abuse and neglect endangerment cases don't get followed through on or reported because we have this incorrect idea that there's a look to it and it really is just classist and racist so yep fuck this family truly terrible people all right that's it we hope you liked our episode again you can participate vote on who you think was wrong in all of our segments did you agree with us you disagree with us who is the hero who is the villain that is on our instagram story usually goes up friday but we say friday ish and you can vote and then we read the results on friday for fisting friday so tomorrow you will hear the results from last week it's going to

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And production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.