Don't Blame Me! - Family Friend is My Ex

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

This week on Don't Blame Me, Meghan and Melisa are giving advice on how to ensure your girlfriend isn't jealous of your ex, thoughts on not graduating from college, and a Don't Blame Them on ADHD. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Subscribe to But Am I Watching? Apple  Spotify Subscribe to Don’t Blame Me! Apple Spotify Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) DBM Submission Form Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to a new episode of Don't Blame Me, hosted by me, Melissa Diamond-Montz, and you. Megan Rinks. And my God, do we... Do we have a lot for you? I have to say, we're inferring a lot on today's episode. One, we do accuse someone of having a situationship with her cousin. They're not blood-related by any means, but, you know, if people go on vacations with your parents and have lived with them sounds familiar to me but

if it walks like a cousin and it talks like a cousin that's your cousin they're they're having difficulty navigating their current relationship while their parents maintain a relationship with their ex slash family friend yep we also have our thoughts uh and the breakdown of the implications of being a adult in your late 20s early 30s still living at home and not having a college degree and what that means but more so what that tells us about people who have negative feelings on that and we also have a don't blame bim of someone sharing their thoughts on adhd yeah we do and then we're just chatting chatting about everything everything about our uh plans over this past holiday weekend.

Sports, you know, rhinestones, all the good stuff. How do people participate in the show? You can participate by calling us at 310-694-0976. You can also send us an audio message at meganpodcasts at gmail.com or you can fill out the form that is in our show notes and you can also send us an email. Write it all out. Tell us what you need advice on

and we will do our darndest to help you out. All right, let's get into it. We'll see you next time. Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors.

Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. First up, this person is 29, she, her. Hello, I'm looking for advice on how to navigate a difficult situation with my girlfriend of a year and a half. Background. About six years ago, I had a brief situationship with a family friend. after i ended things he became even closer to my family even living with my parents for two months

okay so your cousin anyway let's keep going okay as the only child that's a cousin as someone even not an only child but family friends as a cousin are my they're literally my god brothers the ones that like like no but okay yeah whatever floats your boat i'm no judgment to avoid i'm really judging your parents to avoid making things difficult for my family i never asked them to cut contact with him because of how close he is to them he still spends this is your cousin he still spends christmas with my parents goes on holidays with them actually this might be your brother and even attended my sister's wedding last year where my girlfriend was also present knowing that my girlfriend is uncomfortable with exes i told her who he was but only after the

wedding diva just before christmas last year i know that was a mistake i should have told her beforehand she was understandably very upset it took some time but eventually things settled down we worked through it and we moved in together fast forward to yesterday which was my birthday she had planned an amazing weekend for me and at the end of the day i suggested adding her to my immediate family group chat since we're planning to get married the next couple years next couple years is still down the line i'm sorry by the way you're planning to get married but you're not engaged being i i being added to like the family group chat is is a task is a burden it is not something that you need to bestow this is not like a wonderful gift to bestow early it's a

responsibility that you wait for nope right after i added her my parents shared photos of themselves on the holiday with my ex is the your ex their third like this is crazy since then she's been furious and all the resentment from last year's comeback she says i keep putting her in embarrassing situations because of this and that i'm forcing her to deal with something she never signed up for to clarify as soon as the photos were shared i immediately asked my mom not to mention him or share anything involving him with my girlfriend and i are around is he not in the group chat that's what i was i assumed he was and this person is 29 she hurt i i'm sorry but what is the advice you're asking how to navigate the situation wait this has been your girlfriend for a year and a

half and so six years ago okay so hold on you were 23 when you were with this man and you've now been with your girlfriend from like okay if we round up to two years so you were broken up for four years truly four like four and a half years and then you started dating her after that so not only is your relationship with your girlfriend your relationship with your girlfriend hasn't even been that long but it's exponentially longer than the situationship you had and the amount of time between those like being 29 and being 23 is like very different and it is very different but these are things like like your girlfriend saying is you're you're putting her in an embarrassing situations like she should have known she probably knew this person

as a family friend before that you yeah like before you guys like before you took her to this wedding so like you take her to the wedding it's embarrassing there's probably people like thought it was going to be the two of you so you embarrassed her there now you added her to the group chat which please don't no we don't like i have a group chat with my sisters and then i have separate chats with my parents separately people we they we've tried doing group chats people there's too much talking there's too much confusion people leave all the time we can't do it they're not for us maybe they are for your family but evidently not but like he lives with them for a while like he goes on vacations with you guys like does he have parents maybe not i don't know

but like these are these people are his like surrogate parents in some sense of the way because like he vacations with them so why would you add they probably still want you to be with him why would you add her to why would you add her to the situation why do you keep embarrassing her like that yeah my thing is is that like i'm curious so you said your girlfriend is uncomfortable with exes what does that mean because like i think like being uncomfortable with like the concept that your partner has dated other people before like is not realistic like that's it but at the same time like this doesn't feel this is not like a normal ex situation at all so like i don't want it to be categorized as like oh she hasn't like she doesn't love like you know she's not it can

be like oh she doesn't talk to her exes she's not close to their exes and like she's not interested in like people who are friends with their exes which is fine but that is like this isn't like oh she doesn't like that i i have an ex like this isn't that and i'm just so so curious about like if you like grew up together like a that again that's your cousin like that's a little wild but beyond that if like what you were saying like all of like the both sets of parents or other family everyone being like oh my god they're they're gonna end up together they're going to end up together so like ultimately like this is comes this sounds like it's not even a this isn't really about him it's about your parents being disrespectful of your relationship

but are they because it might have just been like sharing life like we usually do and now you've added this other person in and we've got to change our behavior because you've added your other your your current girlfriend in but this is somebody they probably talk about all the time anyway because they're just part of the family well that's what i'm saying like you have to make the decision of like can you cut contact with this like is is it can be like okay this guy is no longer in our lives this is inappropriate this is not how this is not this is not what i want for my future and my relationship or anything like that and are your parents like going against that but you're saying that you've never asked your parents to cut contact with him and so it's like

okay so is it it can't be incredibly serious for your girlfriend and then not that serious for your parents because like you're not conveying a consistent message to everybody and so like to your girlfriend your parents are disrespecting your relationship but like to your parents like you said they're just sharing their life like you can't mitigate both people's emotions when like one person or like one party is like this is just like what life is it's whatever and you have not conveyed that like the seriousness of this and how this is just like uncomfortable all of those things if you've not conveyed that to them i don't know how you plan on having a future with your girlfriend because like you're he spends christmas with your parents goes on trips with

them he goes like weddings all of like is he not going to come to your what all of these things like i don't know how you mitigate and like how you manage to prevent your girlfriend from finding out that like he's also a part of the family like you can't integrate her as a part of your family without telling your parents hey he can no longer be a part of this family but if your parents are if you're asking your parents to pick between you and him they i don't know who they're gonna pick essentially but also at the same time if you don't think that what your girlfriend is feeling or doing is valid and not what you want to follow through on that's also okay but you have to let her know that that that's not going to happen and then end the relationship you can't make both people

happy yes you've set her up for failure though as well you're making her look crazy because this this is information that she should have had regardless of anything this is like similar to when that girl was dating the three brothers like you can't come out the situation thinking that it's not like it's not going to end badly if you're not setting her up for success to begin with at the beginning of your relationship when he was introduced if you knew this was going to be something serious you should have said that before the wedding and you're saying like you're adding her to the group chat now because you're getting married in a couple like you've talked about getting married in a couple years i think you prematurely added her to this this group chat

and you're also setting her up for failure because also like you are it's your family they're going to take your side so you're making her look crazy you're making her look like she's overreacting and all of this because inevitably when we tell other people the stories we tell it favorably towards us and like they're going to think that you know she's reading too much into this or whatever that she's doing but like you're also telling everybody essentially what they want to hear and so she thinks that there's all these very strong boundaries being drawn up here and that he's not a part of the life like this but that only extends as far as you and like when she's around i'm sure if like do you not go to christmas with your family anymore like does she

know that he's he's there like there's just there's no thought put into like you're talking about we're gonna get married in a couple years but you've actually not put any thought into like how this logistically works for your future sounds like you don't want to upset anybody and so sometimes some people who have that mentality and they don't want to upset anybody they end up withholding information that they think will hurt that will hurt people and then they just say things in order to smooth things over but they do that to everybody so like when one person the hurt is because of a circumstance or a situation or another person you're saying all of the right things but then when push comes to shove about creating those boundaries with that

other person you don't want to tell other people what to do you don't want to do like and it just becomes like it's the exact opposite of like people pleasing but it's just like not ever wanting to upset just wanting to say the right thing to everybody and you can't do that to everybody like everybody can't get everything that they want and then the issue is is like you're also like making it harder for everyone like if this is something your parents give your parents the opportunity and the shot to cut off this relationship or whatever and you know pour into their future daughter-in-law and do all of that stuff give them the option for that they don't want to fail unless they've told you that you're not letting you're not you're having them

fail and building resentment from your girlfriend without them even necessarily knowing that's going on but at the same time then your girlfriend thinks that this is the future that you're building together without knowing that she's investing time in something that like there's a lot more speed bumps that have not been ironed out that you haven't seemingly told her yeah and i but i also think it's like an unfair ask to be like to your parents to say just cut this person off like he's been in their life longer than she has yeah like you can't have everything you can't have everything And I think I think that the conversation specifically just needs to be like with your girlfriend that, you know, I don't have feelings for this man anymore.

This happened when I was 23 years old. I'm 29. He's not part of my life in any way. Maybe even say I look at him as a brother and I know it might be weird, but like it helps because he is like a sibling in this sense that he's spending so much time with your parents. like i just don't think that it's fair but because you didn't adequately prepare your girlfriend that they have to change their life that's what but that's what i'm saying like i

think that like instead of like trying to cater both of how you talk about this to either person to like have them get what they want what the fuck do you want like what do you want like because i will say i think if you're like everything that melissa said and your girlfriend's like no i can't do that then that's okay and you have to let her leave but like you can't you can't have everything you can't have everything unless you're being completely truthful and everybody is making adjustments because also everyone gets to make their own choices and if you're like if you're withholding information because you know it's going to change the outcome like that's not good like you can't control that and so like here's the thing i think

if you tell i think like you really should have told your girlfriend but i will say i also don't think that like this is weird but i think this is something that like i could get over like if i this is my right relationship like i could get over but like in order to get over it like i'm probably gonna have to get to know him like that's how it's gonna have to work like we're gonna have to spend time together and get to know him like we're not gonna avoid each other and have it be like this thing that we like don't talk about but if she's like has no interest in moving on past this and it's either like you know he's either a part of like i'm either part of your life or he's part of your life then you have to let her leave and like you the you can love her and like think

she's perfect and this is the great relationship and all of that but like sometimes relationships don't work out because of logistics and aspects of it like that and then you will have learned for your next relationship to be very transparent with someone and like if she is like an insane deep jealousy issue you have not helped by hiding this but that you have not caused the insane jealousy issue like if she can't get past that then this relationship is not the right relationship because for the right relationship she would be able to get past this and you also be like radically honest so talk to everybody so messy figure it out figure out what you want and then let us know what the outcome is going to be yeah i'm also curious like i don't know like did

how does he feel about any of this yeah have him call in all right we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into the next one this episode is brought to you by Accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?

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Hi, Melissa. Hi, Megan. Okay, I'm going to make this as short as I can because I have written and deleted it and written it again. And my question is fairly simple, especially from the last podcast episode with a bunch of people having PhDs, which is incredible. But I have kind of the opposite problem. So I would like to know what y'all's advice would be with someone who does not have a college degree. And for a little bit of context, I work with kids. Right now I work as a registered behavior tech, and I work with kids with autism.

I do love it. but it's really hard to pivot because it's a certification. It's not a college degree. I don't have much college experience, much like Megan. I dropped out after about a year, and I'm 29 now. And the other part of this call is, what are y'all's opinions on people who still live with family? I currently live with my mom.

We're both single women. It works for us. I pay rent. I have my own life and career, but it's a really embarrassing thing. And I'm trying my best not to be embarrassed about it. But I also have a lot of friends that give me shit about it all the time. And honestly, at this point, it's making me feel really, really bad. There's one obstacle after another as to why I haven't moved out.

And again, right now it works for us. And now I'm kind of wading my way through medical bills. So it's just, it's a whole lot. but basically my questions are what are y'all's opinions on living people living with family even at a really old age of 29 i know it's kind of embarrassing um and then um what are y'all's um advice on someone who doesn't have a college degree and if there are any other people who are my age that have advice that would be awesome too thanks my question my initial question is why why do you care what other people think?

What does that do for you? Because, like, as far as living with parents, if I could stand to live with my parents and not pay my bills, then I would do it. But I don't want to live with them. Like, my life would be a lot more complicated if I live with them. But if your life is great,

and, like, in other cultures, people live with their parents until they get married. This is a very American thing. is like such a american thing it's like so deeply american and like it's also so specifically deeply like white american in like the sense of like your friends making you feel shame about it like because all i'm hearing is like you're not just white americans black americans will do it too it's like as soon as you're 18 you should be out the house okay so then specifically like not a uh immigrant immigrant yeah so like not an because like i'm like you don't have friends who's like

cousins still live with their and also beyond that i guess because like it's also like a there's a socioeconomic aspect to this because like i'm white american my whole family white american my dad's side of the family like my cousins lived with my aunt like my aunt lived with my grandma for a really long time but like my cousins lived with my aunt who lived all of this like for forever and that's also because like people teen pregnancy people poor like that's just something that like happens that like and the idea that your friends are making fun of you for that i'm like what do you mean you don't even know you don't know there's nobody in your extended family who like again the circumstances for you is wonderful the circumstances that i know of my family members

who have multi-generational like living it's not necessarily out of desire like it is out of and it's not always like a good situation but it's something that you do it's something that you have to do and it's like not anything to be made fun of but it's also just like a means to a motherfucking end like what's the other motherfucking option and so like your friends making fun of you to me is like such a absolutely like asinine privileged take because like they also see you being happy in your situation and they still feel the need to say this which is all that tells me is they don't have that relationship with their family and like or they and like again if your situation wasn't good like i just cannot imagine how much harder it'd be

to hear judgment from that where it's like there are people who have to live with family members because they can't be alone they can't be trusted with their own body they cannot be trusted uh or they don't have a relationship where they are making safe decisions and it's something that like for their own safety they need to be living with a family member and like if you were in that circumstance and your friends were making like fun of you

like that's fucking crazy to me but like all this is to me is that like they wish they had that relationship and they don't and like they've got the stress that they're probably not able to share with their family not even like the financial responsibility

but just like the weight of like maintaining a household like having roommates all of that like things are different like that and for some people it's easier which is great for some people it's a lot harder to live with their family but neither one of those would be a circumstance where they should be making fun of you like it's such a small mind like such a fucking stupid small world view of that and I wonder if those are the same people who are making you feel bad about not having a college degree. Right. Because like, what do you ask? What do we think about that? I don't care. Like, I legit don't care. I'd say like, I have a great deal of friends that do have

college degrees, but I also have friends that don't have college degrees. And I literally do not care. Like, it's not something I think about. I think like, if you have any desire to go back to college, you should do it. And I say this as someone who dropped out And you think about it sometimes, too. I think that like for people who drop out of college, who then decide to go back, it's because you've gotten over whatever made you have to leave college and you've accepted that like you want a degree and the means of getting it is going to be a completely different experience.

And that is like good or bad. But like going to college is fucking hard. Graduating college is even harder. And so I think if you're feeling like stuck in your career and that like you can't go anywhere from it and you're also feeling unfulfilled in this career and like you want to do something else you want to grow or do something bigger and you don't want to stay in this exact spot i think that school is always a great option and it doesn't always even have to be college like it can be another certification it can be like a pivoting to a different field like i i think like

it's we see people all the time who like just decide to go to culinary school like that this is something that so many people do and i do think that like this really tells me you need to broaden your circle of people because like i i have friends who also if i if i've like all of my friends had all gone to college except me that horrible that would be horrible that would not work for me personally but like more importantly i need to have friends who have gone to college like you said who also are friends people who haven't gone to college like you need to be friends with people who have even if it's they're not their own personal experience of different walks of life they have friends and family and things with different life experiences so it's

not just this oh you must do it the same way that i did and because if you don't do it that way then i feel like i've made myself miserable and sacrificed for nothing because i didn't know there was any other option and that's like a lot of what this sounds like it sounds like a lot of like friends and people in your life who don't have the same circumstance that you do and you have grown up to be an adult and a lot of people who like they thought if you didn't go to college you are living on the streets if you don't have a roommate at all if you live at home something is really they didn't know that this was like an option and it isn't for their life and that's a really hard pill for some people to swallow and they take it out on people who don't fit the mold

or conform to that but at the same time i'm also very pro higher education so like if you want to go back to college because you want to then do it go for it i i would say that i might i might start limiting limiting the conversations i have with my friends about these topics if this is uh the support that i'm getting because like that's not support but also if your friends are so judgmental about your living situation and about your uh education about your job especially like you're paying off like medical bills as you said like if they're so judgmental then i think you should reevaluate your friends not your life yeah 100 and like i don't i am also curious what your friends home lives are like and if a lot of this also comes from what they've been told about

single moms and like how like in general people get really pissed when single moms succeed like single moms are not supposed to succeed you're not supposed to do this unless you have a significant other and there's a lot of people who find that like oh you picked you picked the wrong guy and it's like girl there's nothing you can do to prevent being a single mom like it is not there is no red there's nothing to look for like you can't avoid it if it happens it's going to fucking happen and so i wonder people that are married that are single moms yep and there are people who are with like people die people get sick people leave you can't be you can't be enough of a partner to make any to prevent any of those things you can't you can't prevent any of it so

I wonder if there's an aspect that they have kind of grown up with that mentality. And so it's kind of a double whammy of you are not going down the necessarily traditional path that they see. And you were also raised by someone who it's also not necessarily the most traditional aspect of it right now. And it just rocks their world. It's something that they can't wrap their head around. But I also wonder if you brought up that you were going to start thinking about going back to school and like getting your own apartment i would not be shocked if they discouraged you from doing that because they like feeling better than you they like they like having a aspect of uh putting you in what they perceive as your place and 100 if that is what it is please get

new friends yeah i know it's harder it sounds harder than it is maybe these are friends that you've had your whole life but life is too short for you to be around people that are judging you and then you're also um confused or hurt or second guessing your own life because of the things that they're doing or saying to you yeah there's nothing is more lonely than being around the wrong people it's better to be quite literally alone than be surrounded by people who are making you like question your own life experience and your own like everything about you and what you want to do in your life and what you value and this makes me sad because like you know i like my friends who i'm like friends with now nobody has like ever made me feel bad about not having

gone to college like it it was the right choice that i made and like anytime i second guess any of that everyone's like no no you did what you had to do you had no other option like that was the right choice you did everything right and like you don't you don't need that but if you want that but like if you only want it because you feel like you need it because other people are making you feel like you need it that to me is like quitting dropping out of college is like a really hard thing to do going to college is really hard thing dropping out is like a very hard emotionally a thing to do and people don't do that like you know willy-nilly so i think like deciding to go back because you feel bad about it is the easier thing than admitting why you

dropped out or dropping out in the first place when you need to i really hate anyone who's saying any of these things to you at all me too that's why i'm saying like they might not be your actual friends yeah and like i'm not saying that it would be any more valid if you were doing anything else but like you have a certification and you are working with children in like a behavioral aspect of kids with autism like this is not i i do they look down on trade schools like do they look down on like electricians and plum like you are paying your medical bills you are living with your mom you're both single you're having a great time and you have a job that you have been certified to do like on paper and in light like you're showing ambition you're showing intention you're showing

follow-through and all of these things that like are not mutually exclusive to like a four-year college degree that i find like just so they have such a narrow view of what is acceptable that it feels like truly the only thing that is acceptable is whatever they did and i hate them there we go i know all right we're gonna take a break and when we get back uh we're just gonna talk Hell yeah! Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?

What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. search free until august 31st visit ancestry.ca for details terms apply how was your weekend my weekend was good what did i do did you see fireworks oh yeah it was the 4th of july i forgot about that uh no it was one of my last days of working so that's what it was i was um finishing

up working did my usual get my eye thing done on friday and getting a massage and got my lashes done but other than that i didn't do anything well the fireworks probably kept you awake while you got those lashes done actually well it was i got my lashes done during the day so there weren't any fireworks going on i'm sorry they started in the morning here no i was hearing them all day The way that I used to hear fireworks in this place, it doesn't, and it also doesn't shake the way. I heard more fireworks during the soccer games than I did on 4th of July. When Mexico lost, so sad. It was a sad firework that went off. I wasn't watching the game, but I knew when they scored, and I knew that they lost because there was a sad firework. And I was like, damn.

Yeah. So like it was a lot of fireworks, but also just the way that this is set up, I didn't hear it or feel it like I did in my other place. In my other place, it was literally out my front door and my whole house was shaking and I could not sleep to the point where I was crying because I was so tired and couldn't go to sleep. But it wasn't that. that was my experience this year because we went to friends a friend's house and we did have to wait about 10 minutes to get to our car because there were children setting off fireworks in the street in front of the car we're like we just have to wait we have to wait for a break in the fireworks and i remember these kids were complaining to their parents about these aren't even getting that high and i almost want to turn around be like your parents are letting you set off fireworks don't you dare complain to them that they're not getting high enough like your children and your parents are being very chill but our friend's place it's kind of like a similar

architect like vibe to yours like a three-story one but they also they've got a roof and so we just like got on the roof and it was crazy because like i what i mean 360 there's fireworks going off fully around us like every single one all the way around it was amazing one of the girls we were with she goes do you think this is the finale and one of the other girls heard she goes they don't know each other no one's coordinating and she was right oh yeah you're right but it kind of feels like that it was wild and then we also found out that uh the friend's house we were at that i think last year the year before he had bought fireworks and like set some off and then his wife was like we were never doing that again that was really scary and i really hated that they were like

crazy expensive and i didn't know how expensive fireworks were and like i just felt i know i know they're bad for dogs i know they're bad for babies i know they're bad for the environment i know they're bad for fires i know they're bad for people with ptsd i know they're bad for the ozone i know they're bad for everything but in that moment finding out how expensive fireworks were and i'm looking out and i'm seeing all these different fireworks being set off illegally in a state where you can't do that i was like this is community like this is you're just doing this and every we just all get to enjoy it the risks the legal risks the ramifications it just felt like you invested all this money it was like buying like it was buying like king-size candy bars for halloween

just like doing it for the community and i felt like such a pride of la in that moment they're very pretty you know i had my whole rants about let's do drones on but am i wrong several years ago but then came back drones also cause a lot of issues too so i'm like and they're scary if we're gonna do it at least have them be the pretty ones and not the sad ones because drones actually because they have to add sound to them and the sound isn't coordinating it's just sad it just and it's also like very warfare yeah ask and it there's no way that that helps vets at all especially like modern day vets because like fireworks gunshots also more like cannons drones drone shots modern day warfare yeah but i also we watched the oh my god he's gonna kill me

I was asking so many questions. I was learning all about it. We watched the fight. The bop-bop. Didn't even know there was one going on, so... No, I learned so much about this. Melissa, the way he gets on screen, this kid, who everyone's rooting for, and I was like, he's so tiny. Everyone's laughing.

And I was like, how big is he? And they're like, oh, he's like a featherweight. And I was like, what's that? Like, what size is that? And all of the girls, they're all like, oh, yeah, actually, good question. Because, like, I know nothing about this. So, like, I have no qualms of asking, like,

potentially a stupid question to some people i've never met before and so i was asking because i also know the guy whose house we're at he's like big like he loves this like this is his boxing is like his thing and so i was like asking and he was i was like how tall are they he's like okay he's like five eight and he's like one i think he like weighed in at like 125 130 and all the girls whip their head around they go i'm sorry what and the guy's like yeah and they were like wait what and i was like oh i'll be the first to say that's like a really skinny five like that's that like i'm like he's like my size like that's like we could fight and i was like but he doesn't look like that skinny it's muscle that's all muscle well and then they were telling me about how

that's what they weigh in on and then they have like 24 hours where they just gain all this weight and i was like oh my god his stomach must hurt yeah so but they also like do not eat do not drink yeah i know all that part crazy i i used to work around people that fought yeah in legally but yes this was legal it's not yeah yeah yeah but but being around them like it's a very stressful time because they're so hungry oh and they're so also have been working out so much so they're very spacey and also angry and their bodies emit this odor that i can't i can't explain but if you've been around someone who's doing this you know exactly what it is i kept just being like so like creed and everyone's like honestly great reference point because i was like

this is very accurate yeah this is what all of my references were for i i didn't know ever i was asking who everyone else was rooting for because i want i want to root for their team like i want to root for whoever you want and they're like no no root for whoever you for you want and I was like of course I'm judging based on their coaches like who looks like would give the best pep talk who looks like most emotionally supportive but then they get out there in their outfits and one of them rhinestones everywhere and I said that's my guy and they said that's who we're rooting for and I was like thank god this is great and he won but it was like so excited it was like so exciting and I was like do you like boxing now and I was like well here's the thing like when we said we're

watching the fight i was a little confused at first i go there's no way they're turning on ufc like there's just there's no way we're the only white people here there's no way we're going to like watch a jake paul fight like there's just i'm like and then i was asking i was like is this the same thing that jake paul does and i was learning so much more and i was like so you can essentially watch creed boxing but the reason why we never see this pay-per-view so i was like oh yeah but it was exciting and i love the like um as opposed to like when i've been in like bars when they're playing like uf is it ufc is that the one the other one yeah that's the one the ones that was around that one is like low budget it's really stinky and like yucky and this was

fucking glamorous yeah boxing matches are there's so much money in boxing and there's so much writing on them they're like in vegas even the audience outfits yes everybody dresses up there's a little show before they're walking around with the belts like being part of the walking in crew is huge like it was literally all their cousins like yeah sometimes or it's sometimes it's like a famous person walking in with like a boom box and like is being their hype person it was like so i was like i'm obsessed with the drama this is like so theatrical it's really funny though when you buy like pay-per-view and everybody comes over and it's like a knockout in the first 10 seconds and it's like oh okay well what do we need for the rest of it that's so funny but yeah i was like

trying to understand the scoring part of it but i was like this is fucking glamorous there's people that there's like three or four people keeping score and yeah and there's like different and like they were showing that like you have like judges and then it's kind of like it's not it's very subjective and i was like wait are there like points for like the artistry of it they're like no but like it isn't like a rubric in the sense like everybody's scale or their own thought process is like different and i was like oh that's like so i don't know i was it was so interesting it's like ice skating dancing that's what i didn't want to say that to them yeah but that's what it in my head but they also are like if things land and where they land and how it's landed they feel

yeah it is and like some people value other aspects of it more some people are stricter with whatever but i was like i'm obsessed with the fact that like you guys like love the arts like this it felt so we're here to watch that like we're here to watch fighting but like all i'm seeing is rhinestones and tassels and like glitz and glamour and i was like i'm fucking in like this is fun there's a boxing gym not too far from me and so sometimes i'm driving and i'm seeing just like the different because when they're like doing their pre-workouts like the jumping jacks and the jumping rope and just like shadow boxing they'll be outside and it's like a big age group so it'll be like little kids like five years old all the way up to like full-grown

adults but just the love that they have and the determination like you can see it and it's it's really fun and it it teaches a lot of discipline you can and you can tell like you can tell when you see like the older coaches to the younger like they there's so much respect there and i'm like that man i've never met that man that coach if if we're in a building and something goes wrong i've never met that man and i'm asking him like he's just got this whiz like this absolute like calm deliberate demeanor that i was like yes but i wonder that might be the same gym that our friend goes to because there's a lot of them but he lives right he lives very close okay where you are and he is training right now for an amateur boxing are you gonna go of course i'm gonna go

and i'm gonna have to like get embroider a handkerchief for his wife or something so she can do the like oh like do you know what i mean i was like this is bridgerton and this is creed like this is just i was like geeked out and everybody was dying like like you're obsessed I go, this is just, I didn't know that this was what it was. Like, this is so fun. Like, I don't know, I love... I love a show. You know what I mean? Like, I love when something is like, the money is there, all of this kind of thing, like, put on a motherfucking show then.

Get the spotlight out. What I don't like is the weigh-ins when they're all up in each other's faces and like, it's clearly they just want to make out. Well, it's very homoerotic. Let's just like, let's just, sometimes they will just they will just give a little kiss and then the other person will end up swinging and then they'll have a little like tiff before,

but they're all just, I don't like, I don't like the buildup. I just want to see. I've never seen the buildup. That's hilarious. Yes, you should watch them. That's so funny. When they have the weigh-ins because they're all so hungry, like I was talking about. Oh yeah, they're fiending.

And so they're just like, sometimes like the other person might just have to hold them up a little bit, but they get in each other's faces during like right after and then the person announces like what the weight like it's all a show like they're come it's a press conference they get weighed in they're like in each other's faces and their weights announced live and stuff so traumatizing yeah wow that is just i i i'm so fascinated by it like it's like a whole other again like any like pay-per-views like that was not something i grew up with so like i've never i've only ever seen it if it's like at a bar

or whatever like i've never even like the announcing there was like that someone there was like performances beforehand i was like this is this is fucking fun oh you're talking about their stomach how their stomachs are they in creed you remember when michael in the first one i think when michael b has his he's gotten like taped up and stuff and he's like i gotta boo-boo like he's like i gotta go but that that's part of it this is like y'all gotta your digestion is crazy like it's just but yeah it was that was and it was crazy because it's also so loud that you couldn't even hear the fireworks but then we're also seeing the fireworks through the window as it was happening and i was like this is just like pure cinema so i love it i loved it

and another thing i learned about me um i learned about through hate comments on tiktok that got filtered out i forgot that you can like you have to like go to find like comments left under review and my one about kenzie from love island uh there is 1300 comments left under review and i was like i'm not really gonna go through all of those but most of them was why is your neck green and like your necklaces are turning your neck green and i was like these necklaces they're not there's no tarnishing there's nothing and i like i'm like trying to look at what they were looking more and i looked in the mirror and i took a video i think i have a really veiny neck yes and i i'm now looking and i go oh my god yeah what the i look like if if this was like i don't know the

vampire times i feel like i've got like a walking for sale look at that right there what the fuck where i see you all the time but it's brand new information to me and so i respond to one of the comments being like no it's not my necklaces but this is in fact how i am learning that this is what my neck looks like and now i feel like it's like what i first time i learned about like achille your achilles tendon i feel so vulnerable i feel so vulnerable that i just have somebody's gonna come yeah suck the blood out of your neck or the same way that like i'm vulnerable when like my ankles are out and i'm like standing next to my car i go someone's gonna slash my achilles okay megan you know like who's just gonna be like in your house while you're

recording the video and they come up and they're like i gotta get on that neck are you gonna start reading or wearing turtlenecks all the time no because you know that makes me nauseous so what are we doing with her up nothing a little scarf no she's by the way just backwards like this that's so that it's not choking you but it's covering your neck that's very vampire diaries anytime that it like before caroline turns back it turns into a vampire and she's you know fucking around with damon he's biting her she gets into a scarf phase and they're like oh i think you're hiding something under there and she was bites from a vampire um no but it's just like sometimes i love learning new things about myself other times i don't i don't need to know that i don't

need to know that my neck perpetually looks green because i have absolutely massive veins there i knew where you were going when you started this story and it's like you just have veins and i know i have them on my shoulder they're all over i know they're a little bit it's a little bit more purple in here yeah but it's really green and then it's green around here yeah and you're wearing green right now so it doesn't help i know but i have learned that apparently you can have this thing called like i don't know something with like a compressed vein that happens a lot with pots and it can happen like randomly and if you do have like a compressed vein it makes pot symptoms a lot worse and you can get this like little surgery and it can like make them

like that feeling like it can make most of the symptoms go away and i was like maybe i'll see if that's the thing i could do yeah that would be very cool i don't like the idea of a vein surgery but no everything about this is making me feel weird okay moving on thank you you're welcome so we're gonna we will be taking like our summer break so we'll be off for a few weeks not this week but after this so if there's anything that you're really pressing about and need some advice on make sure you're calling in right now so that we can get it in before a break and if you're like you've got like a running list of like oh shit's going down i need to tell them about this just keep a lot like keep a list keep a log line of things that you're like i need your thoughts

on xyz all of that and we will we'll do all that for you when we come back all right we're going to take a break when we get back we'll get into uh i don't blame them At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company, so we put our heart into making sure it's protected.

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It's time for Don't Blame Them. If you don't know what Don't Blame Them is, it's people writing with their own advice pertaining to a previous call or some other advice that we gave. So let's see. Oh, can we say who it is? Yeah. Because this is actually part one and part two of her Don't Blame Them.

So Josie wrote in last week because I asked, I summoned her, as she had said in the original write in, because we were dealing with somebody with that had questions about their Ph.D. But seems like we have a lot of people. No, like the smartest audience ever, which I it's crazy. Yeah. Wasn't expecting, but good for you, girlies. So impressed. So then part two of her advice was also about ADD and ADHD, about somebody that had written in who hadn't been diagnosed but had questions about being diagnosed and also being diagnosed later in life. So Josie said, I was diagnosed with ADD slash ADHD last year. I had tried adding

Welbutrin first, but my issues were getting worse. Before I had been able to manage until my PhD, though I basically always turn assignments in right at 11 59 p.m deadline or just turn things in late and would take the L and hope my professor would be merciful. I still do this but it's harder to do it well in a PhD program. I have medications I take but Megan is right you can't rely on meds alone. Some days they hit better than others. What has really helped me is support and accommodations I've been able to get for school and work. I'm not sure how it is in the UK, but once I got over the initial imposter syndrome

slash shame of asking for help, it was an easy process to work out with my doctor and school admin and supervisors. At work, I recently filed and was lucky enough to be approved for extended time on tasks because I had actually been told I was facing potential termination because my data entry volume wasn't meeting their standards

and I was making too many mistakes. But also, I don't know if this is an ADHD thing or just me thing, but I also customized my computer contrast so it's easier for me to use our data entry system. I was making mistakes or missing information a lot in the same places. I also put a contrast on my computer for the same thing,

for reading and stuff. so i don't know if they get i don't know if that's an adhd thing but i also do it because it helps me concentrate better makes sense i don't know people are like what are why is your screen pink it just gradually changes throughout the day or like why is everything on your screen black because right now i need everything that i need to focus on this background needs to be black the text needs to be white makes sense that's like the one thing i can't that's also but that's an uh you were talking about when i initially did it you had said something you're like my eyes are blue i can't see yeah yeah i can't like i can't do i can only and like i guess

that it's a common thing with astigmatism it's a common thing with very like light eyes you can't do the contrast has to be light dark on light not light on dark legitimately matz has his phone on dark mode and i go i can't we'll be trying to play a game and i go i can't i can't see any of that it makes it's beautiful looks like a glowing light but I'm not sure what there is to it but that makes sense I I want to I should do something like that with my computer aspects of it because like I'll do this google and say like what would be best for me and type it in like it'll ask you some questions and that's how I figured out mine I color code like my like aspects of like my chrome and just different things on there to like make it so like it's less stark and like even something

as silly as like it looks more friendly and so i'm not like avoiding doing things because you're like oh well this is all scary but um i have my business stuff in a different color so then it puts my brain in a different mood when i'm looking at it yeah yeah that was like 90 of what i did in school was just like color coding everything and being so adamant about that because like that's the only thing that's keeping my brain together like math is red that's all like we just to keep the math read. But yeah, this is great advice. And yeah, I'm glad she echoed the whole thing. Like you can't rely on, you can't rely on meds. Like it's a wonderful addition, but it doesn't fix everything. And also, yeah, sometimes depending on where you're at in your cycle or

what generic version of your medication you get, like I got some fucking pink ones and I like take one in the morning and then i do like half of one or a quarter of one or like a little more than half of one like it depends on what i need for the day and i got ones that are pink and those ones i exclusively do for my midday half one because i'm like i can't they're just not made the same like the whole thing with like generic medication about how they can use all of the fillers can be slightly different they don't have to tell you if there's gluten in them you know all that kind of stuff it's it is affects you a lot but there have been saying probably not now because you know we've fired everybody that they were looking into

the studies of it but you know we'll see what is health care right now truly who knows have you been seeing about that parasite oh yeah i've been reposting it on my instagram stories you might must not just be looking at my stories i've been editing a video that started off as three hours and it's now an hour and a half i started about two weeks ago though oh i probably must have seen the first time i probably also like i'm just reposting other people's things so you might not realize that it's me doing it yeah no i probably saw it though on yours holy fuck yep so far knock on wood not here it's not here yep but still i'm not ordering salads out like i just because it's not here right now doesn't mean that i can't be the first case

no and i do wonder all those parasite cleanse people how do you feel now with the threat of a real motherfucking parasite cook your vegetables cook your fruits yeah cook everything i'm eating applesauce i love applesauce period so i probably would have been doing that anyway but i'm not eating a fresh apple no fresh apples make my tummy hurt applesauce on the other hand makes my heart happy because they they get they're cooked applesauce is cooked first i oh my god i love it now a little cinnamon and apple sauce oh i love applesauce me too my favorite thing i used to love though is i would do applesauce and then i loved like cooked apples inside applesauce oh my god delicious delicious but my new thing is my favorite dairy-free yogurt that i used to add

protein powder too now it comes with protein because everything does now even craft macaroni and cheese i said what is this i saw a commercial the other day they're calling it like craft complete or something but the literal blue box not even the special like shells the literal blue box of macaroni and cheese now has protein in it okay yeah this one i will say though it's been that made me happy because like it is a dairy-free and they're they didn't do like a whey based protein or anything like that and i was like oh thank god because that's always it pisses me off it's like when something was fine with me before and then they go we're actually gonna add protein milk and i'm like what the fuck i don't want that now but now i've been having

that yogurt which is makes me so happy because the other issue with the protein craze is everything now is whey protein so i've been having such a hard time finding protein powder that's not astronomically more expensive that isn't just whey protein yeah so gotta get on that everything messes my stomach or up so well it just for me it's just like how how far do i do i want to taste better my stomach hurt or do i want my stomach to less hurt and then not be satisfied for me my scale is is this a day ender yeah that too like that's the only everything is going to make me shit myself like i'm gonna poop all this i'm i'm my tummy's gonna hurt i'm going but if it makes me throw up and i'm by the way it makes me throw up more than once and i don't feel better

after the first throwing up and or if it makes me unable to do anything else then i go well that's a friday activity like you know i enjoy a frozen treat sometimes you know a nice frozen kind bar the ice cream ones that are dairy free they're so good they're so good but sometimes and I wish they would make it in a like bowl form too like whatever they're doing to that bar make give me a bowl

sometimes I want a bowl I just want a bowl of stuff and I'm like this fake ice cream is not hidden I want some actual ice cream so I'll eat it I know I'm not going out tomorrow and that's fine totally me with popcorn

me with so many things like I just have to know the plan know the plan like that's like my body is going to react how it's going to react I just need to I need to time everything in a way that works other times you know there's ones that I'm like I can't do that anymore like I can't touch that anymore like quinoa I can't touch that anymore it does almost exactly what gluten does to me and that's the other part I don't even love it and now I'm like what do you mean I'm doubled over in pain like i'm in agony for oh like fully a full day and i didn't even for motherfucking quinoa i remember when everybody was like putting quinoa on everything yeah you couldn't

couldn't it would just be like here's a salad with quinoa i don't want the salad with quinoa the shit people put on salads never ceases to piss me off blueberries are one of my favorite fruits do not put a blueberry in a salad i want a blueberry in a salad i'm okay with like an apple a strawberry an apple's fine i can deal with a good strawberry like yeah it's a good strawberry but like blueberries also they're they're not they're not easy to pick up with they're also like they're not adding a pop of so maybe that's like maybe put it in the if you want the blueberry flavor put it in the dressing a blueberry vinaigrette for sure for sure not like an actual blueberry how am i eating this i don't know i don't fucking know i hate when people just add

shit to add that's a spoon if i'm using a utensil for a blueberry which i'm usually not that's a spoon food but then i can't pick up the rest of the things in the salad with a spoon and you've eaten your whole salad and then suddenly you're like why is there why do i have a plate of blueberries and it goes turns out those were in the salad you just couldn't catch them okay i feel the same way about um shredded cheese in a salad how the fuck do you oh i can i can do Like, when I understand, like, the pieces, but, like, when it's, like, out of a bag, shredded cheese, I'm like, how the fuck? Well, I guess maybe I'm just thinking of dairy-free cheese. I'm like, that breaks in a second.

How the fuck do you pick that up? Yes, that breaks, but regular cheese doesn't. It's very pliable. Oh, it stays on the fork. Yeah. That's nice. Can't relate. Yeah.

Well, let us know what your current food hyperfixation is and what makes you poop. Mine, hyperfixation, I don't think I have one right now. None? through my faces where i wanted to eat a hot dog every day i was eating every day at four o'clock i was eating my applesauce i forgot i actually had this applesauce in my refrigerator i just forgot i was there because it was behind stuff but it was a day a time where i was eating it every day at four o'clock p.m that was my little treat that's a good pick me up yeah but fiber some sugar right now i i mean i was doing a meal delivery kit now i'm totally like they were

delivering fresh food every two days and now i'm like i'm sick of this food yeah and most of them are in the freezer at this point like the ones that i got the last week so i just paused it because i'm like i'm not eating it anyway so i don't have a maybe i'm just cleansing after eating all that very healthy food for a while no you need to get back you need to get some nitrates you need to get into the hot dog yeah i might have frozen corn dog for lunch i can't do i know but i loved them but then i got sick after eating them one time i get it three musketeers bars i get it i totally drinkable yogurts i get it i can't do those either yeah well tooth either be thin or thick like no the way that viscosity it pisses me off so motherfucking much because like

what and then there's so much left over at the end too it's like there's another like half of the drink is still there but it can't come out because it gets stuck while i'm trying to pour it's thick enough to get stuck but not thin enough to be drink to be drank yeah it pisses me off too which is also probably why i drank it to like try and upchuck so yeah you know well we hope you all enjoyed and we've got one more episode of yeah we've got one more episode of this podcast don't blame me before our break so have a listening party and then what are we watching on thursday for but am i watching we are watching the invite yes excited about that the olivia wilde movie all right goodbye goodbye

this is a sister sign production hosted by me megan rinks and me melissa d montz plus diamond imprint productions post-production by Coco Lorenz production assistance by Melanie D. Watson and music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso Wayfair's Labor Day clearance is on now right now at Wayfair you can get up to 70% off everything home shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at wayfair.ca Wayfair every style every home