Don't Blame Me! - FF: Charlotte's Web, Movie Night from Hell, D-Coms

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Meghan and Melisa dive into a nostalgic journey, starting with a heartwarming discussion about Charlotte's Web. They delve into their childhood memories of this beloved classic and the enduring lessons it taught them. Melisa then shares a terrible tale of a movie night gone terribly wrong. Meghan and Mats get their Netflix fix with The Grey Man, but they couldn't resist indulging in a dose of nostalgia with some classic Disney Channel Original Movies (D-Coms). Meghan shares a valuable lesson she learned the hard way. Melisa and Mats had been warning her about this all along! Melisa also revisits a sentimental Christmas present from the Sister Sign Family, sparking a wave of nostalgia and heartwarming memories. To wrap up the episode, Meghan and Melisa provide an update on the Armie Hammer situation, discussing the latest developments and sharing their thoughts. Tune in for a fun and engaging episode filled with laughter, nostalgia, and a touch of current events. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi greetings and salutations my friend greetings and salium motherfucketations what era is that word from i i don't know like it sounds like something that would have been in the the british are coming the british are coming i mean i know that when i think of it i think of um wilbur about no that's the pig i was like babar babar is the elephant wilbur the pig yeah oh yeah i wonder how wilbur's doing i mean wilbur would have to be dead that book came out what i don't even know 1910 charlotte's web came out in 1952 i don't know how long pigs live but me neither all i know my only fun fact about pigs is they'll eat anything including bone that's why they're featured prominently on criminal minds i just saw uh well there's 15

to 20 years so yeah he's dead all right but um i saw that this i think it was a school that um i glanced over this i didn't read the whole thing but a school was getting vandalized and they thought like it was students that were doing the vandalization but it was pigs pigs had been running around tear like tearing stuff was it at your college because no pig suey no we have How did the pigs get there? Well, first of all, I don't know. I think it might have been a school like near a farm. That's my guess.

My school, it is, yes, it's Wu Pig Sui, but we, it's a boar. So they're much bigger and tougher than, they wouldn't just be running around. No, they've, they've got class. They're very mindful, very junior. they've got decorum it's the name tusky cute tusk just tusk just tusk um when it dies like i don't know which tusk we're on but they all just get a number after tusk i think we're on like six or seven now oh the numbers are so unpersonal it's just just another run of the mill bore that's crazy it's like a junior you know like the second yeah but then call them junior i don't say two i

junior has already passed i know it was like it was tusk the second and now like tusk the third i thought you were like tusk three tusk four i was like it's so clinical yeah okay no that makes way more sense way way way way way more sense well wait so this is this is friday now you posted something you reposted something on your instagram story no this isn't the result right oh no no this isn't the result yeah you posted something on your instagram story about like how crazy but like it was just it was ominous like you posted something and then either samantha reposted yours or you reposted hers yeah and you both said something like that i was like what the hell happened because you didn't say anything like

it was just like you guys never understand i'm like okay but help me understand like what the fuck what the fuck are we talking about i didn't say anything because i um wanted to see if i could get something out of it and i will so you also did post saying or replied to my story saying i'll tell you on the podcast i'll tell you on the podcast but i'm not gonna give the specifics of the company so we went to um an outdoor movie i won't specify what movie it is because then you could figure out what company it was um but we went to an outdoor movie and um when you buy the tickets it doesn't say that you have to pay an additional 23 to park everyone arrived in a different car except for ty and samantha of course because they were together

but uh it doesn't say any like when it's in i went back to look and it's like in small print not even when you're checking out to buy the ticket for the movie does it say you know add parking doesn't say that and you know like i feel like paying 40 to go to an old movie is ridiculous yeah why would i go why would i pay 23 in addition to the 24 that i've already paid for a ticket to go see a movie that came out years ago doesn't make sense i could have gone to an actual movie theater for that and got food and still been under the money and it wasn't like it was more like we're having something to do not like we really want to go see this movie like it was something nostalgic that everybody loved i could understand but no so get there have to

pay an additional 23 to park i get there early like earlier than everybody else an hour and like 20 minutes before the movie starts so like plenty of time right i texted them and i was like hey i'm gonna go ahead and get in line because i'm so hungry y'all know i've been burning a lot of calories lately so i've got to eat like every two hours i've got a protein yeah and so i get in line for these burgers that i had already looked up on the website and like i was excited to have this burger i get in line i'm waiting for 40 solid minutes until i get to the front of the line i get to the front of the line and they say we think we're out of meat keep in mind this food truck all they sell is burgers that's all they

sell so that is the one thing that they should have and i said oh and they were like we'll be back in five minutes meanwhile there's also like 20 people to my left who have already put in orders and they don't think they have enough to fill those 20 orders so how are you going to get me plus all these people behind me i'm waiting um they come back i can hear them telling the other people oh we're out of meat so i was like oh okay um they're not going to come back and tell the people they're still sitting here in line so i just get out of line and i guess the words are filtering out because everybody else is getting out loud too so then i go to another food truck meanwhile the movie is about to start i can hear them playing the games that they start playing

before the movie starts i go to the other food truck get like order immediately i don't get my food for another 45 probably an hour the movie has already started i've missed a chunk of the food but i've already paid for my food so it's not like i can just not be there and you also can't like they don't give you like we'll text you when the food's ready or anything so i've missed the majority of the movie get my food go sit back down it's cold how do i wait 45 minutes for a meal and then and then it's cold cold steak how does that make sense and it was like it was disgusting it wasn't even flavored well so i had no i threw it like it was

not good i had to throw it away meanwhile i found out that uh billy had gotten bit by a dog and his arm is swelling up and they're like and samantha's like is it broken and he's moving around i was like it's not i'm like feeling on it and he's moving his arm around i'm like it's not broken he wouldn't be able to to move it like that if it was broken i think it's just swollen and then ty also had to go home for a reason and then so they also live 45 minutes away so he had to go home samantha also was just having a crappy day because she was like cramping and stuff and uh so i'm watching the last 30 minutes of a movie that i've never seen before great thanks um then we we go leave and because

it's a one-way street ty has to wait until everybody leaves before he can come back in to pick samantha so we're just like waiting in the parking lot while billy's arm is swollen waiting for ty to come back in she's also in pain and i'm hungry and angry oh my god it was just i was like why did we leave the house it was just awful no everything was going wrong everything was wrong so he he finally got in we all finally left the next day billy ended up going to the uh urgent care because his arm was still swollen and um they just told him like nothing's broken there's no like nothing's wrong it's just that because the dog bit down so hard that it swole like the strength of the bite because it didn't actually break his skin yeah but it was just

the strength of the bite just swole his arm and it would go down just to ice it and stuff and i was like i could have told you that i did tell you that but it was just a bad night good god yeah that is bad i i would there's one that i would recommend location wise yeah never that one ever again because also like if something pops off you can't get out no so we and i didn't know any of that like i just thought it was gonna be i didn't know it was so far because the way they advertise it they say it's at this one location but it's not actually at that location well the issue is is that like i find in general like i look up the location before all of them and i find in general um that that look that anything in that area tends to be one

in one out like it's just it's not it's it's more secluded in that way um and that to me is a hard pass yep yeah also the food trucks started because a lot of them ran out of food and we're not prepared for something that specifically caters to the the name of it caters to that um so um they started packing up early too like packing well like before the movie ended and they had their headlights blinding everybody watching the film that they had to go tell the people at work there had to tell them to turn their headlights off what that's kind of crazy yeah that's yeah that's weird so well i'm sorry to everybody involved

that's a lot yeah it it was a lot um very uh very upsetting just a waste of time because i also didn't really want to leave home because i was just tired um and then when i found out that samantha also was in a bad mood i was like well why we're just like the thing yeah i was like if we were all just like already in a bad mood maybe we should have just communicated that to each other yeah like being like there's the way that this would have to be so above and beyond fantastic to pull us out of the bad mood like it actually has to go beyond well it like something like extraordinary has to happen yeah sometimes like that where i'm just like there's actually like not even a way that this could go that will change my there's not a there's not a plausible way

that this could go that will change my already bad mood or already like not wanting to get out of the house if i would have got my food and if that dog bite didn't happen i think we all would have been fine but things just kept us because if i got my food i would have had the food before the movie started i would have ate i would have been fine i would have been like it would have cured my mood because i was looking forward to that burger the whole time um but yeah it was just bad bad all around oh well my condolences thank you but i had a better sunday not salutations just condolences what'd you do sunday so um my uh friend teresia from college she was my mentee actually and she's also um avia's sorority sister her line sister as you might call pledge sister

um that she was in town like for just a real quick quick trip she came in her friend that her her and avia's friend that i don't know um was having their 40th birthday party um in palm springs and so teresa literally came at eight o'clock in the morning and left that night and so i went over i know so i went over to avia's at um like i think 9 30 8 30 8 30 maybe 9 30 i don't know one of those in the morning and we we all just hung out and like for a couple hours uh so they had to drive to palm springs and watch the chicago sky game you know just caught up with with everybody and we had a good time and then i went to um randy's donuts um and risked it for for a cronut or they call it a crony delicious sounds good

was and i actually didn't get sick from it so that was surprising um and sunday looked up but sunday was a lot better than um saturday was good that's stressful though i i i'm glad that that happened on um a saturday but at the same time then i'm always like well now this day needs to make up for it even though i could also reframe it to being like it can't be as bad as yesterday yep yep yep well i want you to watch that movie again under different circumstances thank you i know how it ends i know what essentially happens because as a good movie should it kind of you can figure things out at the end and they explain things and then you know things are closing up so i know what happens but it i've always wanted to see that movie and i

don't know why i never saw it yeah it does seem like something that you would have seen it's like one of my faves i love movies like that um where everything seems like it's separate and then it all comes in at the end and it's a great cast like a very very very good cast um now i kind of want to watch that tonight except we are knee deep in our dcom re-watching era what are you i saw some things on um instagram what are you watching we watched eddie's million dollar cook-off we were just like talking about i was that one is so random i'm obsessed with that one i've always it combined two of my favorite interests decomped in the food network aka bobby fly um but i would i forget what's like we were like talking about oh he tried he put on um

so we i loved fall guy so much um and so much was like oh you know what you might like i forget what i think it's is it no i think that's like the gal gadot one what is that called um i don't know some other ryan gosling like netflix movie on to armis is also in it and matz was like explaining it he's like i think he's like he's like yeah it's kind of like you know marvel e in the sense that like it's like action and comedy and i was like oh my god why haven't you've seen this about me like let's watch it and five minutes and he goes well we don't we don't have to and i was like well it just started like what is it i it's let me see it's like a recent one it was a netflix the gray man the gray man uh-huh and so he's like five minutes and he's

like we don't have to watch it i was like okay literally just started like you know and i was like is it not what you remember he's like no no it is i just like maybe this is a recent movie yeah he's like maybe you won't like it as much and i was like okay and i was like it's fine like we'll keep watching and we keep watching and then he pauses again he goes we really don't have to watch this and i was like okay is this like i was like no it's fine i was like just like when does like the funny part happen and he goes what do you mean i was like you said the movie's like an action comedy and he was like yeah i think it's coming soon and we like watch another 10 minutes then he goes i pause it and i go so did you think that this is funny because ryan gosling is in it

is there any like jokes written in this he goes yeah i don't think it is i think it's just like well you're trying to turn it off i know i know but i was like just be direct and tell me like hey i'm having second thoughts because like i'm realizing this movie actually isn't funny because he kept comparing he's like you know like think of like a guardians the galaxy and i was like okay that is i'm like waiting for there to be like a a song that feels like totally out of place like in a deadpool kind of way like i'm waiting for that and it like doesn't happen and i was like i think you're just remembering that he's very charming and therefore it feels a little bit like it's gonna be funny but it's not actually funny um and so we turned that off uh and i forget

what we finished what we like watch something else and then um there's several people in this film that i would be like no i'm good yeah well i didn't know what it was about it also described as epic slick electrifying and i'm like what like i was so confused and then chris evans came on screen and i was like oh it's gonna be funny still wasn't funny and i was like what are we doing here guys then i see reggae is also in it no so melissa he said so moms was like someone's in this that you like love to hate and i started like listing people and he was like no no no no and then he was like he's like but you don't actually hate this person you just like i have like a really strong passionate opinion about this person and then as soon as he came on screen i

went oh of course this is the movie where mods was like he's great in it and i was like and Matsu's like I think he's a very versatile actor like he's really great and I go let me guess he plays a serious man in a suit commanding orders very little emotion and Matsu's like yeah and I was like that's all he's ever been allowed to do like this man has never been given the opportunity to be like light-hearted and fun and like I don't think he's a I don't I'm not saying he's a bad actor I'm just saying that he has played the same fucking the fact that he's done Bridgerton this and um dungeons and dragons all very literally different eras like totally different things and every time he's playing a serious man in a suit and i'm just like sometimes it's suit of armor

sometimes it is a regency era style suit and then sometimes it is quite literally a hugo boss suit with a tie and i go get this man in some board shorts some sunglasses and let him vibe out like everything is just so serious and i was like oh god and also like he looks like a fucking kid and i go what do you mean he's ryan gosling's boss yeah because that movie was not what monson had envisioned he was like let's watch a decom because we can't we can't start a whole other movie and jump back yeah and it's gonna be too long and i was like amazing i was hoping you were gonna say that and so we watched i like of course pitch him and i go i think you'll really like this one it's a combination of a sports movie and also bobby flay and mom's was like

sign me up eddie's million dollar cook-off is that the one with the dog no like the dog eating the nasty food or like there's a dog as a prominent figure there's a dog in the movie then well they have like a family dog but like it's not like air bud does a dog eat the food though yeah yeah that's yeah there's a clip yeah um and then we watched um stuck in the suburbs and i was like it's one of the guys from snl except they give him like bad highlighted extensions and he's a pop star who's like trapped with preteens what was it again uh stuck in the suburbs i don't know that one and that was matz's introduction or that was matz's um in that he was able to connect the

fact that wow brenda song is in more of these movies than anyone else and i was like oh bitch he's like you know she's in the social network and i go no no i've actually known brenda song from day one she's a disney channel darling and so then that led me to be like we got to watch wendy woo homecoming warrior and i was like it's about a girl i was like you know as most it's a huge percentage of dcoms are um you essentially go through puberty and then something happens and whether that's you become a merman or a mermaid or you find out about um this this this curse um in your family and how there is a you have to break this curse um in doing martial arts and all of these deceased people are coming for you and then you pretend to have a cousin

who's not actually a real cousin who you fall in love with and he was like what and i was like we'll watch that one and he was like this is very good martial arts and also this budget seems crazy um and then we also watched the one where i just teach about my heritage which was luck of the irish and he kept making jokes and i started when i was like i need you to pause because you're gonna learn about the the plight of the irish in this and if you can't take this seriously you started abroad there you you claim it so often you you need you need to respect this and um i i sold that to him about only thing i said to him i was like it's about my heritage and i he and then he made the great point he says for the first 25 minutes of every disney movie it's the setup of a

horror movie and very quickly they could make one turn and it's a full-fledged horror movie but instead of course it's like the innocent thing and it's very disney channel but like the way that like have you seen luck of the irish so the way that like he's asking his parents about like their heritage and they're like oh honey like no we we're from cleveland and wants is like who the fuck are these people are these not his real parents was he kidnapped i was like no these are his parents he's like okay it's very much giving like invasion of the body snatchers and like they're gonna be a clip where the mom's like walking on the ceiling and it's like a demon and like all of these kinds of things um and they're just like being so weird and he's like sneaking

around and he's like i swear to god his dad's gonna pull out like a gun and i was like no that's not gonna happen in this it's just of course the family is you know under attack by a group of evil leprechauns and they're the good leprechauns to fight back and i sold him that one as it's also a sports movie but he was like none of these fucking kids can play basketball they're all like this is not believable at all um but he loved that one i love the actor in that oh my god yes because he's in so many d-coms too smart house he's only in i think two or three but he looks a ring of endless light he looks almost identical there's three there's three d-com boys who they all look like that guy he's so cute to me well i'm specifically talking about him from smart house

and look at the irish no i was addicted to him and that and you know dancing in smart house oh he was like that was like he was my crush yeah um and uh up to he's in um where is this he's doing like horror movies now but he was also in where was this i'm pretty sure he was in a christmas movie christmas which is one of the best christmas movies like hallmark ones uh-huh he's from choctaw oklahoma right over the border from me oh a win for oklahoma that's a casino oh fine um but yeah so we watched that one and so i think he's i think eddie's million dollar cook-off and like luck of the irish he's like loving but he says smart

house he can't even he says smart house um high school high school musical um and cheetah girls he refuses to put them in the same category because he says that like that's like an elite level of disney channel and i and he was like i can't even put them in the ranking because like that's exactly he's like that's just like top three automatically like that's no fun so i think smart house i don't know if he yeah i don't think he puts smart house in that because to he says unlike all the rest of the disney channel movies which don't opt to become a horror movie he goes smart house becomes a actual horror movie and becomes a premonition for technology and like the life we lead today um and i don't know if he'll ever want to re-watch

that one like he was like this is too fucking real also smart house like a listen lineup in smart oh yeah and also i'm just like obsessed with disney channel dads like that is like a specific thing i love um he was talking about how much he like in eddie's million dollar cookoff he was like this movie's like so sexist like he's like i'm half waiting for them like he they find out he likes to cook and i'm how waiting for them to be like oh go get your purse you fucking girl and then it essentially happens and he's like oh my god and i was like it's it's a conversation on subverting gender roles you just have to get there you can't keep pausing it thinking it's not gonna happen like they're recognizing it later on i don't know how you watch movies at

home with months or any sort of media but i do the same thing oh my gosh but the thing is is we each get annoyed when the other person does it but we do it all the fucking time when it's our own thing where it's like pause but my issue is i always do pause do you want to hear a fun fact about this movie and then he goes how many fun facts do you have in this movie i go just one and then like five minutes later he could like tell i'm like holding it in he goes did you remember another fun fact i'm like yes but that is because as you know both of us suffer from this affliction of being absolutely addicted to listening to the actor and director's commentary of movies so i just happen to know a lot of fun facts yeah i do too but i save them for the end

see i can't i know you can't it makes me buzz on the inside i'm like i have to that's why i understand how you like can sit on packages did you open your wreaths my wreaths wreaths yes they're so lovely the garlands melissa do you need garlands i'm not gonna give you mine but i'll give you a link they're soft not i would take a free one but i just don't i'm gone most of no no i know if your family's ever in the market for an artificial garland the way that i go this is not like the other ones i mean my mom would be but like i'm not big on decorations as you may know um and uh then she expects me to take all the things down because i'm the one that's there

no well i wonder why you don't like decorations because that's the work yeah but like i also used to like it but then i just don't anymore okay screw i enjoy christmas i love christmas i love everything about christmas except for decorations do you like other people's decorations if they keep them up with an appropriate time window if they're in an appropriate time window and i don't have to touch them yeah okay if you put them up on the day after thanksgiving and then keep it up until i'll give you just for you because of matz's birthday mid-january then we're cool if i don't have to touch them we're cool okay i'll just block you from my instagram story after if i'm not within the window

i already know what you're about so like blocking won't change what's in my heart what i already know yeah but maybe you'll forget me no it's true it's a blessing and a curse i know oh the last thing i was gonna say was um i think i finally learned my lesson after both you and motts with well after both you and motts had been advising me to be safe and to not do these things outdoor things uh-huh oh god megan so i i had your voice in the back of my head and then i said shh and then i quieted that voice no and i ignored it and this is why you still haven't given me access to your ring then there were lots of voices in the back of my head and then i also said shh and i quieted it and then i

just went on my own i picked up a rock two rocks that were a little heavy thought we already do this no because i got trapped under the um that was a wheelbarrow i go try for the wheelbarrow and that to me i was like that was a fluke of course i won't do that again but doesn't mean i can't do these things again um and i like what i was doing it i was like is this too heavy and i was fine and then suddenly i was not fine and it was i think mostly my footing that like i was so as it always is i don't know why i think mostly it's just my footing it always is your footing yeah and so i just like it's like i looked like i was just tipping over and then i tried to like catch myself with my feet it didn't work i fell to the ground slammed my hand between these two

giant rocks like heavy ass rocks motz was not even home which i didn't know i thought he was eating lunch inside he'd like gone out to like grab lunch i just like laid on the ground crying for like five minutes and then i was like okay i have to get up but i was so scared to look at my hand um and so i like i almost passed out it like hurt i like i it hurt so fucking bad i thought i like ripped my whole nail off um and i'm like again story of your life ripping the nail off i know i'm just like squeezing the uh glove on my hand just like apply pressure and i get inside and i like laid i'd like i had to take like five breaks on the walk because i was like getting so fucking woozy uh and also i think i thought it was gonna be bleeding and so i was really afraid of

like I wasn't consciously afraid of that but I think subconsciously my body was really afraid that there was gonna be blood and then I like just like laid on the couch and then I finally like lifted up no blood I was I mean a little bit of blood like I scraped my knee and my arm and my wrist and then crushed my finger and there's a bruise forming under my fingernail and there's like a lot there's like a bruise kind of here and on the one next to it yeah there's definitely a little bit of like a scrape um but that now i've officially learned my lesson you better because i'm saying all four of your names in my head right now scolding you i know i know and it just it turns out i just needed another lesson like turns out i'm just not and like literally the

first thing not said when i like told him what had happened because he like came i didn't want like call him when he was out because I knew he would have like come rushing back home and like at that point I'd already seen like I wasn't bleeding like I was fine um and he was like is this enough it and is it enough now like have you learned your lesson I was like no you're right I'm I've fully learned my lesson um and I can attest to that because I he started obviously started a new job so he's working out of the house I've like now gone out and watered and I've gone and done things outside and I don't even, I'm not even tempted to do the heavy things or do the things that by myself, I'm just like, Nope, Nope, Nope.

Cause like I couldn't even grip for like two or three days with that hand. Um, so it was a painful lesson. You would think after I got stuck under the wheelbarrow, that would have been the lesson that I learned, but I think I needed to learn it where nobody was home, you know? so i'm good now if you learned it great i think i did and i'm being the thing is that you've quieted our voices in your head so have you actually learned well i look what happened when i quieted the voices nothing good and so now why would i quiet those voices again because i can't because you're hard-headed and stubborn but you know what you it's even harder

that fucking rug that slammed between my fingers and that that shit hurt so bad i'm not doing that shit again like it hurt so fucking bad i i kind of think this fingernail might fall off look at that bruise megan how many fingernails how many nails do we have to lose okay well fingernails this would be a first and that is real that's how i had to toenails melissa you forget how far away I am for my toenails. So those don't feel nearly as connected to me as my fingers. They're so far away. They're in a whole different zip code.

These, this is my neighborhood. This is my block. As you gesture through her fingers, you can't see. I'm just rolling my eyes so hard. Well, the lesson's been learned. I'm sorry it took so long. Okay. believe in me

okay well before we close this off I came upon something this this weekend I needed a little pick me up and it was

the birthday I mean it was the Christmas present that we were gifted a few years ago from our listeners where they made a whole video just sharing love with us how'd you find that i don't i truly don't know i just came across it yeah and uh i just want to say thank you again it's been a few years but thank you for making that it's so sweet yeah i remember watching it for the first time in colorado right yeah very sweet i love that i love that i love that i love that um and the thing i'll leave it on is army hammer has to sell his car because he can't afford

the upkeep and the gas after it came out that um he is an abuser and has cannibal tendencies and to that i say great here here karma love it walk like the fucking bitch you're not working at the uh time share yeah i don't know if that was real or if that was a rumor um i thought he confirmed it this where you i don't know i also don't know i don't believe anything that comes out of that man's mouth but at the same time i also believe you know what i mean like he's yeah i don't believe like the thing is like i wouldn't believe it if somebody else hadn't posted it with like posted about it and then he confirmed it yeah and also it wasn't giving like luxe timeshare because i go why are you in like a coffee shop as opposed to a board room with

little pastries yeah it's true oh you know both those things are predatory army hammer and time and this was also after he was working as a manager for apartment complex so that was his second job i just think the whole thing is so crazy because this man comes from the so much money that he actually doesn't have to have a job but he's just trying to get people to feel bad for him i also think his family probably hates him which i would too i would too okay well we will fist you later goodbye

bye