Don't Blame Me! - FF: Steeplechase Scares and Paralympic Hype

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Meghan's feud with Oklahoma continues to heat up! Melisa reveals her secret Olympic plans for LA while giving us a play-by-play of the epic Paris Closing Ceremony. We dive deep into the mesmerizing world of artistic swimming and mourn the loss of beloved sports of the past. Buckle up for our sheer terror of Steeplechase and our shared excitement for the Paralympics. And of course, we can't resist spilling the tea on the latest "It Ends With Us" drama. Get ready for laughs, sports talk, and a whole lot of girl talk! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

fisting friday damn that breast control dude those shakaria workouts i've been working on my cardio health you really have i could have kept going but i could see that you were getting more and more uncomfortable so i started to end it the cock tease that was happening there the lead up the the blue ball it was just the edging it was it was immense um so welcome to fisting friday everybody we're gonna catch up we're gonna gab and first and foremost my beef with oklahoma stays because of the olympics melissa 2028 when i learned because you know i posted on my instagram story this and people were like oh my god well like you know just go there because you know you said you don't want to go to the olympics anymore and i was like

you guys you uh you haven't heard the new episode where um i've actually completely changed my tune and i cannot wait to spend my birthday at the olympics and i will be there i've signed up for all of the email lists like i we are going to the olympics and we are going hard so um yeah i've completely changed my tune on that and then as karma would have it as oklahoma got its grubby little fingers and snatched something away that i was truly most excited to see because i said i'll actually lottery wise i'll probably be able to there might not be as many people trying to go see one of my favorite sports canoe slalom oklahoma said we're taking shooting and canoe slalom and in the article i read and it was softball yeah and softball but they're like for

political reasons and mott was like what do you mean about canoe slalom i go i assume that's the shooting one with guns i don't think like for political reasons they're doing i was like and i also think that that was like a snarky comment i don't think that's been like an official statement um so oklahoma you foiled me and i'm devastated like i can't even stress how devastated i am because i also recently learned that they perform the canoe slalom on their knees perform yeah exactly it's mostly it is a performance they perform the canoe slalom on their knees and we watched the um whatever racing one and they literally start them in the air and then they drop them into the water and they have to like go upside down and it was just like i have to see it

I have to see it. It's almost exclusively young women and then retired dads. That is the sport. And I was like, what an eclectic group. And someone did message me and they said, Jessica Fox, who is the winner, who's Australian, and then her sister also was ranking and winning, is their best friend from high school. And I was like, tell her I love her and I need a hair routine because she has beautiful curls and i'm just like i can't believe they're sending this to oklahoma i don't think oklahoma is going to appreciate this and also because they have it set up year-round this is like something that is prevalent in oklahoma really like you could go right now and get on the canoe on the white water but not the track they don't have the track

yeah oh they said they're building in oh well they have a form of maybe it is an olympic like yeah standards but like you can go and do it but as somebody who why i think la olympics is gonna be so great because like i need this shit to be hollywood i wanted it on the wb lot and i wanted i wanted people to be like oh my god is that where trisha paytas filmed her music video oh my god is that luke's diner oh my god is that is that um ravenswood from pretty little liars yeah like that's what i wanted it's not long enough but it's not but like i also wanted to see the shark from jaws pop out of the water exactly like but it's not long enough they would have to shut down the whole lot and then completely redo the whole thing and they're not going to do that

no they're not but i just would have loved it i will say there's a lot of sharp turns there's a lot of sharp turns on that lot which would be quite difficult but like maybe instead of having to knock down the houses and stuff yeah but imagine like on wisteria lane they're just like like i would kill for all of this and like give me a not scary farm experience like give me give me hollywood give me give me central casting give me backstage give me actors and i'm like you want that why don't you check out a trump rally no did you see the white people painted as black people standing behind him true blackface Melissa what yeah god damn yeah so um that's not the acting I want to see

at my Olympics that's that's not that's not the vibe um yeah I wanted like Indiana Jones to come in like swinging through the top like over them so like they have to duck like that's what I like that's what I want and again I want to I really want to stress that as an American I don't think that we have so many talk show hosts we have so many of those things I this is my hundredth plea James Corden has no place at the Olympics please don't put that man he's not American no I know but I'm so convinced they're going to do it anyway and I'm like no guys like we have so many others kelly clark if they don't bring kelly clarkson i go you flew that bitch to paris i'm sorry but no i don't need her there i can eat her saying if she can sing she can sing but i don't

need her unless they're going to properly vet her because it was clear that they didn't no she was jet lagged and she was just crying and like she didn't know why she was there and neither did we yeah so um and she was only there for that event i don't need her there i love i love love love kelly but you know we all know our limitations yeah and i don't i don't know what she i think she also doesn't know why she was there because when i realized that she was not coming back i was like so what was this for just for her to say she was just like i don't i don't think i should be here yeah i was like is it literally did you bring her here as a professional singer to just a comment on if celine dion was also a great singer and she just cried and was like clearly

and then she's like okay catching my flight back what what um yeah and i also need more i hope when we get in la we like we've got more like visual like i don't need the the crowd cam to keep cutting to john travolta and um tom cruise and the scientologist but i do need there to be video footage because apparently the the um skateboarding commentator one of them was ryan checkler and as a girly who loved ryan checkler i'm like i'm so sorry where are the cameras put the cameras on my boy's face like he is he he does not have a face for the boom mic like give him a close-up gotta be honest no clue who that is if you look him up you might recognize him he had a reality show on mtv and it was like life of ryan and he was like

how do you spell his name ryan yeah shek s-h-e-k l-e-r i think um but if you look him up young he does not look the same now but he was like an older kind of bieber it was like the bieber aesthetic and style but he was like a incredibly good skateboarder he was like after tony hawk he was like the next most famous one and he was like a teeny bopper heartthrob on the cover of like tiger beat and like you know cosmo girl and stuff and he was like a socal fuck boy with like swoopy hair and a hat and his pants sagging with his little chain and his intro for his mtv show is like my name is Ryan like I've got this really cool life except my parents are getting divorced and it's really like that was like every episode was like that and it was just like

yeah but I I loved him and they didn't like show him at all and I really think like even like Laurie Hernandez who's like fantastic I do wish we could spend some time you know interacting with the commentators a little bit more than the audience because I really love some of the commentary I heard like there was one uh commentator for I don't remember what it was but specific like women's track and field I don't remember what specific events and I was like oh my god she's so cool but I was having such a hard time finding out who it was yes I I didn't know it was Lori until TikTok told me it was her so I agree with that even if there's just like a little a little like uh insert of their their faces at the bottom but I think or announce who it is or

just say commentary by just something that acknowledges who these people are so that I know like they're they're a professional that participated in this sport and they know what they're talking about yeah and I also find that like sometimes they keep commentators for way too long on a sport like over years and years and then other times it feels like they switch them out and so like I want to be able to like vocalize my support for ones who are like doing their first season they're super great and i think laura hernandez is going to like really this is beneficial for the longevity she has in commentating because people know it's her and they're like loving her and they're saying that but for some of these other ones i'm like

i don't know who this is and i want to say like this person is great bring them back but like i can't even why am i going on the olympic website and i can't fucking figure out who is doing the commentary for this. But I love that LA is already acting like this is happening tomorrow. We're so excited. We're so excited. I'm really trying to figure out, I'm like, do I need to volunteer? Because they're taking volunteers. I'm like, do I need to volunteer for a couple hours so I can get in there? I'm going to figure it out. I have a plan that I'm not sharing with everyone yet but i have a plan do we have willing and able participants willing no able yes that that's that's that's a plan and i have another you've got another point i've got multiple plans

okay as long as i get to go yeah i've got you know you gotta have a b c d i've got a b and c right now holy shit i got four years to get to z so that's i have no doubt that you i then you're throwing the greek alphabet there like you're gonna start getting the latin l like yeah i've got full faith yeah so um can we talk a little bit about the closing ceremony oh i couldn't watch it why uh it was too awkward why the zoom zoom didn't they have i saw a clip of it and i was like oh i should watch it this is on now and it was someone like watching live and it was like they had singers perform but they weren't actually there no no no no no okay first of all i think you should watch it um we had and i'm talking about just getting to um them transferring it to

yeah so first we have karen bass our mayor and i was i for like i was like why is she there so much clearly she was taking notes for when it comes here she said we don't have to worry about the river because the la river has only filled up once in the last 10 years yeah i do think they should do bmx racing in the la river though yeah that would be awesome um so i was just like okay but she was just there with jill biden was there and also doug was there um so i was like what is going on she was there representing la because of the handoff and he got and it was handed off It was her and Simone were up there. It gets passed down to them.

Then we've got her singing the Star Spangled Banner there in Paris with them. And it was great. I was like, so much black girl magic here. Love it. And then after they've waved the flag, we get Tom Cruise. I knew it. They were showing him too much on TV for something not to be a Bruin. Jumping from the very top of the stadium.

into the stadium and landing like he's got a parachute controlling it as it's coming down it's like that man knows what he's doing like everybody's shaking his hand and stuff he's loving it then he takes the flag gets on a motorcycle rides it out i was like this is so cringy but it is like i'm here like i loved it but i hated it yeah he rides out so what happens I guess if you were watching it live, live, maybe there was a Zoom. But when you're watching the feed that came on later, it's just a seamless cut. He rides into a plane, flies back to America. So obviously this was prerecorded.

Flies back into America, gets to LA. We're looking at the Hollywood sign and stuff. Jumps out the plane with the flag. Where? where is he jumping lands over uh by the hollywood sign so illegal we're not allowed to go over well i'm sure if you have permission from the mayor then you are allowed to i guess that shit's monitored and i was like is it looked really poorly done as far as how this was set up and i don't know i could see the hollywood sign all the time so i don't know when they did this no i know

that would be my question but um they turn they turn the o's in hollywood into the rings and then add it the other rings on it and so that's where he lands and then he passes off the flag to olympic mountain bike rider i don't know her name and i should have looked it up but she's taking the flag down the hollywood hills and then she hands it off to who was my favorite male olympian in the 90s who's michael johnson he used to run with this chain and it would like bop up and down when he was running and i just loved the how it looked when he would yeah as he was running then skateboarder jagger uh eaton comes up to him and then they go to they end up with the red hot chili peppers but they're performing californication

oh yeah that makes sense yes and then it then cuts to billy eilish pirate bar that's the part that i heard that was in l.a like if you're watching the actual feat it's just cutting between like it's not like on a zoom the people that were at the stadium were watching it on a zoom but like if you're watching it on tv it's not like that you're right you're right you're right you're right you're right i'll watch billy eilish and phineas if i was not mistaken because I was like, I'm 99% sure that that mountain biking girl is from Marin. And she is. She went to the high school next to mine. What's her name? Kate Courtney. Kate Courtney. Okay. Yeah. Because mountain biking, we had a lot of kids from Marin would go to like junior Olympics for that kind of

stuff. So she is. And I was right. And then it cuts to Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, but they're clearly in Long Beach. And so I thought it was great. And then they ended the ceremony with a French singer another beautiful black woman. I don't know how to say her name, so I apologize. I don't know if we have any French listeners. I'm sure we do, but I've never met you. It's spelled Y-S-E-U-L-T, Yusult, but she sang My Way, which I thought was perfect. Oh, I heard that. Yeah, it was perfect. Her tone was perfect, but it was also the perfect way to shut it, close it out, because my way if you don't know the actual music is from a french song but the the popularization of the the lyrics and stuff is from frank sinatra who is um an american icon so like mixing the two

cultures together brilliant brilliant oh i'm i need to watch it i'm sure i'll find it on just fast forward to when you see Karen Bass and Simone the other starting point it was I mean there are people that are popular here in the US but

not I could have done without it that's fair I can't wait that sounds like and that's exactly what I want I want Hollywood glamour I want cheating to camera I want knowing your light I want like I want all of that I want

splicing together two different beaches so people don't know like i love that like i love when you like watch movies and you go this is like fast and furious when you go that's so crazy they like got from santa monica to um encino in 35 seconds like i love watching shit like that like it's so fun so i can't wait for the olympics to be like that um and i gotta say i'm so excited to listen about the hookups because you already know that like at the olympic village like they're fucking um but then they're coming to la and the way these athletes are going to be like i'm so sorry i get to fuck all these hot people in la and everyone else is going to be like you want to fuck like it's just gonna be great there's just gonna be so many beautiful athletic babies

whether they whether they stay whether they keep them or not but there's a possibility and i would love this love story me too oh i can't fucking wait can't fucking wait did you see the uh interview i didn't watch the interview i just loved the pictures of the um child rapist from the dutch volleyball team him sobbing crying i would love to make it my fucking wallpaper like i'm like good you fucking bitch like i don't know why so many people were mad at me for something i did 10 years ago all i did was rape a child old disgusting disgusting um so i showed my brother-in-law and sister-in-law because my brother-in-law hates the olympics and so of course i'm determined to make his for him of course of

course i am determined to make his son love the olympics and don't worry it's fucking working and so i was showing but i was like i have to show my brother-in-law the break dancing i was like he's gonna die like this is like and he was like there's no way like you're lying to me and i was like no he's like this is on tiktok i go no this is a clip like this isn't edited this is what happened um and so then i my nephew was like i want to see if he looked and he was like that's not very good and i was like no and then we always have our dance parties and he goes let's break dance and all he wanted to do was show me him doing things which it was giving men's gymnastics like look what i can do and i was like that and he's like we are better than the break dancer we

should go to the olympics um and then i asked him if he knew what sports were in the olympics and he told me swimming and running and um rowing in a boat and i was like yeah and gymnastics and he was like what's gymnastics and i'm like this kid he's in soccer but his parents were like if he didn't like soccer we would throw him in gymnastics because like all he wants to be good at gymnastics he would he's very like self-competitive and like uh independent in that in that sense like he likes rules he likes regulations and stuff and he doesn't like if he's on a team and other people aren't following the rules like he doesn't like that so like he's better with like that individual kind of stuff and he's tiny and fucking fearless like he throws his

body anywhere and so I showed him Simone Biles her floor routine and he was like can you do that and I was like no can you and he was like no and he was like is she good I was like yeah she's the only one in the world who can do this and then he goes is she a kid and I was like no and he goes she's really small and I was like yeah she is short she's actually short and his mom's quite short and I was like yeah he's actually she's shorter than mama and he was like and she's she's not a kid and I was like no she's taller than you and she's smaller than me and he was like oh so she can do that because she's a grown-up so why can't you do that and I was like no well you should say that I'm taller than her so my body actually isn't built for this sport I said that

and I was like yeah I I am I'm way I'm too tall for for this and she is actually the only person who can do any of this stuff and he thought it was so cool and he kept going is she gonna flip again she flipped again and i was like yeah so i'm getting him excited and i told him i was like they're coming to la so your dad might say you guys are gonna go on vacation but you know maybe you could stay and see the olympics he's gonna be nine no i can't i eight truly can't he's gonna he's about to turn five yeah he's but he'll be eight when it yeah when it's happening which is i'm not okay with yeah my um little nephews i was facetiming with them too um the white ones and um they were at a playground and um he also he's five and he goes look what i

can do and ran over to and was doing all the you know things that children do that make them think that they're olympians and i was like this is so adorable and i said you've been watching gymnastics haven't you and he's like yeah oh i love that i love watching kids watch her and like it's just like so so sweet and yeah i have an issue with being like way too honest though because he literally did something and he goes is that the coolest thing you've ever seen and i was like i mean that was pretty cool but like i like could not lie to this four-year-old to tell him saying that him spinning in a circle and throwing his body on the ground was the coolest thing i'd ever seen i was like it's pretty cool but yeah but um yeah i was gonna ask you did you watch

synchronized swimming finally because it took forever to come on well i didn't know if the thing is i don't know the difference between synchronized swimming and artistic swimming are they the same they're the same thing sorry okay artistic swimming that has categories i watched it did you happen to watch the acrobatic one um i don't think so the way that i think all these teams got confused about which olympics they were preparing for melissa nearly every team across the world except the united states was doing mashups of eminem songs and i was like why was it truly why truly why it was and like some of them were doing like they had their game faces on like it was like angry like artistic or acrobatic swimming and they're all there with like

they're like oh and they're like going for it and it's m&m mashups and i was like and the judges were like oh we're getting a we're getting a lot of this music and it was like so like oh posh ones like we're getting a lot of this music and i was like this is okay old and like the u.s was amazing and when i was watching it like i missed who they said it was at first and they their outfits are really not um indicators of their country colors so it's been hard to tell and they were doing theirs and i was like holy shit this is fantastic and i was like it is giving like um what is it the dead sea tiktok what was that one tiktok north sea tiktok what was it about it was like that trend where it was like that yo ho yo and it was like like kind of like eerie yeah that was the

vibe that this was giving and i went i bet this is the u.s and it was and they were fantastic but they were the only ones who essentially weren't doing and it wasn't like who also wasn't even just eminem like they were picking that era of like early 2000s popular rap and i was like for what and then someone else like then other people were doing like italian concerto and i was like i feel like half of you thought there was a theme and then three of you were like yeah no we're in paris this is not why are we all who are not from america doing specifically american rap for our music it was so odd beautiful but so fucking odd um and yeah that's the only one i think i ended up watching i don't think we watched the group

technical one which is the one i think that's the most popular but okay the one that had they did the moonwalk in the water but upside down yeah i we didn't see that one yeah it's pretty that's they once uh silver so i i like to just check i'll watch it's pretty cool i i'm gonna love it whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand the high protein yogurt oikos pro is there to feed your strength and help you turn every challenge into a smash. Oikos Pro helps build strong muscles and support muscle recovery with high protein and contains no added sugar because true strength isn't about being able to take the hits. It's about being able to bounce

back. Oikos Pro, feed your strength. Visit oikos.ca for more details. i was looking at games that are no longer um participated in at the olympics and one of them was individual synchronized swimming and i said how does that work that just means it's not sink you're not sinking with anyone else so what are we synchronized to it was they said it was so boring i watched about five seconds of it and i was like agree uh what are they doing they're just doing that same kind of artistic swimming but by themselves by themselves it's a solo yeah the lyrical solo what the yeah maybe that's why they changed it from synchronized because they're like wow yeah um and that was it was like in the 90s um but i also saw that

that they used to have tug of war in and i think we should bring that back it should be like without a doubt the strongest people that are already on teams that are established and then they go tug of war olympic field day yes like that's a great idea have them do that that would be fantastic and they all have to wear tie-dye shirts very camp-coated yeah and i was also watching like track and field back in the day like that stuff was dangerous the field events were dangerous why is there no protecting pad why are they jumping over what now is them doing high jump there's no pad and they're just jumping over it and landing feet first yeah that gymnastics is like that too people are like bring it back and i'm like you know people snapped their neck and

got paralyzed at the olympics on yes like at the event yes on tv i saw i was watching the uneven bars from back in the day and yes it looks very cool but the bars were too close to each other and they were doing way too dangerous things and people died like they were talking about this thing is uh banned from the olympics and the person that they were showing literally snapped her like a neck and was paralyzed yep and died from complications from that in i think her 30s or 40s 40s yes let's not let's not we're here to make this the sport safer we don't need to see deaths on television or things that are gonna harm people for the rest of their lives i mean i i don't know if you saw it was so fucking scary and they cut away from it really quickly

but there was a guy on this year who on the track i don't remember what event it was it was one of the hurdles i don't know how long it was or if it was a hurdle a part of like um the parallel one of the things that has like multiple events involved um steeplechase yeah i actually know i think it was that it was it's a steeplechase is i don't know why the steeplechase exists after seeing this we don't need people jumping into water and then jumping on dry like it it's but people that do long distance running love that fucking thing i was reading reading about it and because i was like this shit is real because when i directed that book that was about long distance female running there it was like a whole section

dedicated to steeplechase and i was like this is not i don't think i've ever seen this and this doesn't sound real and then i immediately went and watched videos and i was like how is this allowed but it is it was so scary and i was like i had the same thing where i was like this needs to be done it like immediately i was like this especially with the fact that they have so many regulations of what shoes they can and cannot wear that like they're wearing the same shoes that they wear where they're not getting wet and then also the track like they've been raining a lot in paris you have that like on top of everything and like it's just it was just so stressful a guy got his foot caught and he hit his head so hard they had to jump over him and he was he was knocked

unconscious lying there couldn't even get off of the track they had to bring some they had to like bring paramedics out and he had to be taken off in an like a stretcher neck brace and like was it immediately admitted to the hospital and like no like i already think hurdles are so we don't need water and like a slope into a water into water to like throw that like bring that in it's just so it's just to me it was just like it's way too dangerous and especially because it's so much closer together just like but with hurdles you have everyone essentially has their own individual one but when you're all jumping over something that close together um yeah like you that that's so scary and then also like i can't imagine the fear you would have that people would

run on like they would not be able to slow their momentum down and then you're gonna get more injured and then as another player getting injured too yeah like i would be terrified of that too so like i just am like i don't think we need that like it freaked me the fuck out and they cut away so fucking quick like so fucking quick which i was like great but for everyone there and i'm sure that person's family was there like fucking terrifying horrible horrible horrible i missed already though yeah but i'm excited about the paralympics though have you maybe i'll actually do that maybe i'll switch up my um hot take i'll do that okay now you got me on pins and needles waiting for the it ends with us drama but that's the only other thing i had written down we also

don't have to talk about that one i've been keeping up i don't think that there is a good person in all of it that's my take that is my i just think a bunch of horrible people got together and made something horrible yeah and i think people need to stop making commentary about the film industry when they don't work in it and saying that an executive producer has no say in like how the movie comes out on the day it's just financing is like completely incorrect and like they can pull their financing at any time and so yes they do have you do get say in the script you do get say in all of these other things and um that's part of it and like so i've just been it's been like driving me crazy hearing people talk about that but then also

saying that like then they're saying like you have financing you aren't allowed that you're not supposed to you're supposed to let everyone have their creative vision but at the same time they're like but you can also like change everything and i was like neither of those things are true. Nope. So. Nope. Yeah. I didn't understand what was going on. It just seemed like a lot of hate going to Blake Lively. So I sent you a message asking like, what is this? You gave me a one sentence explanation. But then as I was doing my own research, I was like, no, it's both of them. No, exactly. Exactly. Actually all three. I'll say all three of them. Without a doubt. I just think that like i would like to urge my fellow women um to not get caught simping on

the internet for a man in 2024 that you don't know because they've made their quote-unquote brand being one of the good men just just don't like just don't regardless of what it is like i'm just like he could be the greatest or whatever but when you position men as infallible creatures and like they are so perfect i promise you will get disappointed you know like you just will you just fucking will and uh same thing with her she's not they're both imperfect they both without a doubt and someone some people's stuff might have been more publicized but like a lot of personalities a lot of egos in in making a movie and some people don't get along and uh yeah i just it was crazy seeing all of the like think pieces from people in the

midwest who've like never even been on a set before talking about how it goes and i was like no this is not they said that there are two cuts of the movie yeah his and hers and that she changed like the whole movie and like his was better she used the deadpool editor yeah and like all of this and i'm like okay have we seen any of the indications of like what audience saw what and like that she was the final quote-unquote call that they were gonna pick the edit that did not as well with audience because i'm like these things can be true but they don't mean this they don't add up to being like the result of whatever no she made the cut for herself and that's it yeah like i'm like like i'm telling you a studio is not going to pick one

that is scoring lower with audiences no they're just not like no one has that no one's putting that money into that no i want to spend money on regular ass shit why would i do that yeah it's been driving me crazy because i'm like you simultaneously think that she is supposed to have no say in anything she's just like a hired puppet but then also you think she has all of this power and control to like completely manipulate everything and anything and i'm like that's neither of those things are true oh so um i won't be seeing that film i wasn't going to see it to begin with because the source material writer um so definitely won't be seen yeah yeah i i don't think i will it might be a plane movie but like probably not there's that

so uh thank you for listening and we will fist you later fist you later I love that you were still doing your F while I was correcting my song