Don't Blame Me! - FF: Trapped, Mormon Wives, and a Shaky Situation

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Melisa shares her recent housebound experience, while Meghan dives deep into the captivating world of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." We also explore Melisa's exciting new projects as a director and writer, and Meghan's newfound love for crafting. But the real drama unfolds when they discuss a recent earthquake and their ongoing frustration with B.O.B.'s conspiracy theories. Don't miss this episode filled with laughter, relatable stories, and a healthy dose of skepticism. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

i hope i put on concealer because i was like my dark circles are so bad because of my allergies megan what's gonna happen your eyes are gonna water because of your fucking allergies yep uh you've been having a terrible week so if i i just hadn't been vocal about it i knew you were having a terrible week too i just i felt it in my bones because i was like i had a fucking struggle of a week and we weren't talking and i was like she's struggling too like i just knew and i was like we'll talk about on the podcast and then we almost didn't even fucking record and then i was gonna be like i gotta ask her how she is because i know she's not good because neither am i nope so what's up with you both of our eyes are watering um we're sobbing i took i

took a allergy pill i literally took it that's what i just took melissa too me too um but uh i'm just cramping like nobody's business i'm exhausted i just want to sleep all day i've had so much to do this week and yesterday I was like I didn't get to everything on my list but then I looked at my list and I was like bitch this is what a normal person gets done in a day and I was like down on myself about it but um it was like I'm I'm just not in a good mood my period started next week that's what it is I know that's what it is uh but um I haven't and then also because it's been so hot i haven't been able to get up to run but i've also been staying trying to stay on the same schedule so i'm in bed every day by nine but i'm just i'm still exhausted no we're we've

been trapped inside of our homes and i know that happens in other places but like we pay a lot of money to not have to deal with that so like psychologically you have the weakest people in terms of um being trapped with weather like we're like we moved here because of that like We're not we're choosing not to do that because I can't do that. And then when we have to do that, literally everyone I've come into contact with in the last week, we've lost all social skills because we've been forced inside and like everybody is just angry, which is fair. It's fair. We're not getting our vitamin D. monday i was gonna go to the beach because i i also worked like from last monday till sunday because i was directing an audiobook that went on so i didn't have a weekend so i was taking

monday off which i did for the most part but i had was planning to go to the beach so i could just be completely locked off so i didn't have to do anything and something happened where i couldn't leave my house i'll tell you but i'll cut it out because you can google and figure out where i live i assume citizen thing wow that is crazy that's like one of those fever dreams you're like yeah did that happen yeah that's crazy and i was like that was my thing was like i was i was like yeah you've been looking forward to it yep that's fair that was like any time obviously nowhere near as bad as that but like any time we've had um we've been in this heat wave for so long that any day that it was going to be like oh it's only going to get up to 90 we were like

perfect we're gonna like go out and do something and then we would check in the morning big psych it's actually gonna be 105 and we're like oh cool now the only thing that was keeping me sane for the last four days is gone and now how am i supposed to get to the next fucking four and they keep extending it was like because the uh uh weather was just supposed to what are they calling it the it was supposed to go to the ninth for extreme heat but the exact name for it and then every day i'm getting a notification saying nope next day nope next day nope next day i would check that day and they're like so it's an end tonight at eight o'clock and i go awesome eight o'clock they go ending tomorrow morning and then tomorrow morning goes ending tonight at eight

o'clock so today and tomorrow are supposed to be a little bit cooler but then it shoots back up over the weekend are you kidding me nope well oh mine doesn't say that unless it changed um today we seem to be pretty okay okay great love it today's high oh yeah it's looking good crazy like we have not had this since may yeah yeah but the air quality is very very bad that's very bad so that's probably why our allergies are extra bad so um we have to discuss something that is so important to me and um something that we talked about on this podcast and you got to have your own george santos moment okay with the rsv mom and Melissa have you watched the show I have not watched the show I have been quite busy so no no

fair it's only eight episodes oh so all of them are out they're all out and it's i just have to say like hats off to the people who recognized the relentless thirst for clout in these women and i say that with the utmost respect for all of them except for one um because these bitches were made for reality tv and now they're getting on their fucking instagrams and being even messier there's one scene where there is and this this is like our actual personal hell and why we could never have been cast because the way we would have not tolerated it um two of the girls go to uh i don't know what it's called in utah but we would call it a korean spa they go in a salt room in like a spa but they just i don't know if it's just like an isolated

salt room or whatever but that's where we would go uh-huh and one of them brings her two kids she's not watching the kids the other friend is keeping an eye on the kids the kids are flipping inside the salt room inside of the salt room they're flipping the light switch not being there melissa they're licking everything and she goes yeah they love to eat it and this girl's like no they're flipping the light switches on and off and her friend is the one who's just watching the kids being like someone's gotta fucking watch these kids because she is she's just like talking shit about other and it was just fucking crazy and i was like oh my god that that is my worst nightmare but like they literally are getting on like on instagram and being like you know like you're

desperate and like all this stuff afterwards and i'm 99 sure because i saw on their socials that they were posting about going to italy and i was like that's a fucking bravo style real housewives trip like i know like and they did a couple of other trips but they're posting about that but that wasn't in the show and i was like oh you've already filmed season two they left off season one on like a cliffhanger and they're like i hope we get a season two and i'm like you definitely already filmed a season two and that's why they're like answering some of the questions they're like oh i don't know maybe like you'll see it later on like i don't know and so they don't want to like spoil things that like more storylines might come through but it is it's crazy and it's

Mott's was like, he hates Seinfeld more than anything. You said you weren't going to watch it. No, Melissa. I started getting those ads fed to me because my algorithm heard me saying I'm not going to watch it. And they said, bitch, bet. And they started feeding me the ads. And as soon as the trailer dropped where they're dressed up like under his eye, Handmaid's Tale, I was like, oh, I'm actually kind of into this. Do you want to explain RSV Mom for people?

yeah whitney levitt um which i gotta watch my back because she says she's she's gonna come out to la and she's gonna be an actress so whoo um and uh yeah so she we talked i think i talked about her on a real an early episode of but am i wrong and she her child was in like the like the i don't know if it was a naked it wasn't a newborn no it wasn't it was a baby but like not newborn but like a pediatric er or intensive the picu yeah pediatric intensive care unit um and had rsv which kills many babies babies are like like maybe two months old if that um and she did one of those like dances where like words pop up on the screen about being like i'm in like the baby is literally like in the background in a fucking plastic crib it's a plastic crib no it's

yeah but it's like a med like it's a medical plastic there are wires there are tubes coming out for like it is like that is a that is a serious situation she's dancing being like he's not breathing on his own yet but hopefully like twerk twerk and it was fucking crazy and and all the and they talk about it on the show like and she to this day she goes people just like misconstrued my intention i was just happy and when i'm happy i like want to dance and the way that like she is so committed to being the villain and has no idea that she's the villain like she she wants to explode her own life and then goes oh my god why would you guys do that to me and they're like you started all of it like it's the craziest it might be one of the most

extreme victim complexes i've ever seen she pulled a nasty mean-spirited prank on somebody about something in their private life which she said she knew she'd be so mad about and like she told all these people even though she wants to tell anyone she like does this surprise for her and she knew she'd be mad again knew she'd be mad and then she's mad and then she's mad at her for being mad and she's like i'm expecting an apology i was like melissa it's fucking crazy okay i need to do some digging because i'm like who because i know someone who i know one of the executive producers and i'm like or i don't know if she's a producer an executive producer but i saw her name on the um credits and i was like i gotta find out who you rep from this because

i've got questions i'm sure that she saw the videos in the same way that you saw them and was like let me let me sign these people up and then she i think she would in my guess i think she reps taylor that would be my guess um but it's wild and i have to say mormon men like mormon women jump ship abort ship like they don't support you that but if we want to talk in a superficial way girls you're so pretty your husbands are so fucking ugly films it was hard to look at like i was like this is insane and like at least like two of them are nice one of them they like make fun of her because she's like 29 and her husband's like 50 or 40 something or whatever and i went at least he's decent to look at the rest of them i have to squint like and

they're bad like he likes her he's nice to her he makes you guys fucking charcuterie boards the rest of your husbands are broke misogynistic freeloaders that's and they're ugly that's insane to me insane to me i and for i stopped watching real housewives of utah um like the second season so if things have gotten if he's turned into like a complete asshole since then scrap what i'm about to say but there's this one gal in there named whitney and she left her husband for this man that also looks like a thumb like they had an affair um and he's much older than her but then they showed pictures when they like had the affair and he was actually decent looking oh my god he catfished her like and then he just asked the girl older stop trying no i've actually heard i saw a tiktok

from someone who's like an ex-mormon they were like mormon men age like rapid more rapidly than with anyone they're like it's actually like a it's a little startling but he was like the one that was like nice to her like yes he also he seemed like he was happy to be in the relationship and that's what i'm saying i go if you want to date a fucking uggo like that's okay but if you want to date a broke uggo with no job who does not do child care that man better be so nice to you and if he's not going to be nice to you it's just like what are we doing here what like that's half of your child's gene pool why would you do that to them it it's Melissa it is fucking insane like it's truly and these girls are gorgeous the girls are so so gorgeous and these men there's

one man who he gets hair plugs while on the show but doesn't talk about it he shows up he's got blonde hair one day then it's shaped then I got a mustache then he's got long hair then it's a shorter long hair then it's buzzed again then we got hair plugs and I'm like what is going on like the timeline i think it started shooting they shot over the course of like two years because in the first episode someone gets arrested and so they have to like put a pin in that and like we'll circle back it's crazy it's crazy it's crazy and i'm so fascinated by um mormonism that's like a hyper fixation ever since like i met aspen and i was like because aspen's not mormon but she like made a tiktok talking about this which is something i've said to her

forever that I was like you're not Mormon and you've never been Mormon but you're like Mormon adjacent like in the Utah culture of like you know she doesn't drink alcohol really and you know when we were younger like didn't really I mean she didn't really swear as much didn't really didn't drink coffee like there was those things that like socially and culturally you kind of adopt and because it's in Utah there are even like ex-Mormons on the show but like they all still are used to this life and all of this stuff but it's just like it's so fascinating and they'd go to the soda shops the the soda shoppies and they're getting all their pumps of their things and melissa there's one girl who converted on her own at 16 and no one in her family

is mormon was it her friend group it was her school and i'm like i need to know more about her backstory because she is she's a black woman she's the only black woman on the show and her uh-huh and i'm like and she's like i don't have a great relation with my parents i'm like do i have anything to do with the like because usually parents before and she turned to the yeah and i'm like because to me either one of those is highly like i don't think it's i don't think you have a great circumstance to then turn to a religion that is explicitly racist like to me that is not someone who is in a good spot it's gonna be their first choice especially at 16 um i'd be like okay we need to move then if all of your friends are white mormon it's time for us to

hop in hop in the car and we're gonna get a new place to live um but she's like not as like strict mormon at all she's gorgeous she's so fun but she had a baby at 19 some of the babies at 16 like that's surprising to me no no not at all because and then the parents are like so upset that they keep like someone else keeps having a baby out of wedlock and i was like maybe if you guys weren't so anti-fucking birth control like yeah like once you've already had sex working yeah apparently the one they really say is docking and i was like that's grosser to me um and they use a term within the community called jack mormons which means like you're a bad mormon and i'm like oh oh and also the theory i saw of the tiktok of um is that they're so the hot mormons are not

staying abstinent they're fucking they're usually not ending up staying mormon because life when you're hot is more fun when you're not mormon and so um that's why all these husbands are ugly because they're like yeah she's like that's just they're virgins like and when that's the prerequisite crazy but i can't wait for you to watch it it'll be a while but i'll eventually get to it and i'll show you um i'll send you my favorite guy actually hold on i don't know their pronouns i'm pretty sure that's he and pronouns but um they're my favorite tiktoker they I found them from reacting um to Love Island and I was like oh we have the same thought process yeah Cameron yeah it's uh Cameron Freeman and he's so

fucking funny and he does all of these reactions and he's like literally screaming at the camera about like the stupid shit that they're doing and it's just it's so he's so good and matz is obviously also was um obsessed because he read some book about mormonism like recently i don't know who it was like you know he loves the history he loves a rando book no he he loves it in niche like aspect of like history or he also read one about like i don't know some some woman wrote like an article about like lululemon or whatever i don't know what about lululemon he like read the whole book and i was like that boy stays reading and it was somewhere literally and he read that book and he was like this is a hot take but like i feel you

know that like i almost i almost hated as much as scientology and i was like damn that's me because he hates because he's also read a lot of books on scientology he hates scientology he doesn't even like it when i make jokes about how i'm upset that they won't recruit me when i walk by he's like don't say that they're so dangerous i'm like okay i know but like i am a little offended that they never try and recruit me sorry just being honest oh i can't wait for you to see it what about you like i said i've been i was directing that audiobook for a minute i think i heard and i was like out of it because it was last night when i was like really not feeling well i heard an ad for one of the audiobooks that you did and i can't remember

which one it was i don't know but i know allison's just got um i don't know if it wasn't allison's but hers just got like audible yeah pushed it to like books you should be listening to so that's big that's really good yeah when does it drop is it already out it comes out in october yeah nice yeah sorry continue i was getting a good press though that's good she was she was super nervous about it because she was like i feel like i'm just regurgitating information i was like no i think that you're presenting information in a new way and i truly think that people before they get married should check this book out um and then like there's been some so much positive press like calling it refreshing and like a new text i was like see yeah plus when it's a collection of

information that you bring from like different perspective i mean you connect dots and do all that kind of stuff like people aren't necessarily spending the hours researching things that seemingly are not connected until someone else adds the narrative yep um but i don't know do you remember anything of anything about it no okay it wasn't allison okay uh yeah um oh i finally um signed the contract with the script that i'm adapting for kindle oh cool not kindle as in the book service but kindle as in our manager yeah the rights to a book so i've started that and she's got me on a tight tight deadline so that's been taking which i need because then i won't i'll just put things off yep so and like stop points along the way so yeah things are

they seem to be okay for she's working yeah she's working i love that for you i've come up with a plan what were you about to say i was about to say we're in like such opposite vibes right now like the way that i was i was like was all i've done this week is arts and crafts because i was like i feel like i'm on the edit something you put up a video this week yeah but once i finally did that i was like i can't stay awake i'm on the verge of a mental breakdown because i know that there's something wrong with me and that doctors are like yep but we don't know what it is and i'm like so like just miserable about it um and so i just i've been doing and i couldn't leave the fucking house and like i'm not a stationary person like i i have a fucking

buzzy energy i need to walk outside at least 100 times a day um and so i just have been doing arts crafts to um uh the what i'm producing so much like melissa i have the like if it's not nailed down i'm painting it like i'm doing too much that was me during the pandemic and then i got rid of all my furniture because i was like this is ugly no that is how i feel i'm like i'm like one step away from like whipping coffee like i am like i'm getting back to that and i was like okay you need to like chill the fuck out like i almost spent like 80 on this like little paint palette you don't need that you're fine but i've been making like some cute art do you have anything to show to the class well there's no video well later they can look forward to it on monday

her but am i wrong let me see if i have any on my phone and if we're on you can see it on patreon um i might not though i've been also planning out how i'm going to completely redo swapping this swapping my office from for my bedroom i've been talking about that for a while yep a while understated yeah but there were reasons why i couldn't do that no that's fair and those reasons have now gone away so now i can do it but then i was like playing out my closets because you know how like my closets are set up they're just not good it was just they just put up a rack or not even a rack no you've got one of those and it's not even one of them is like this one of them's not even fully straight across yeah so um i was looking for like

shelving solutions yeah and so i figured out how to do it for the one that's in the office and then the two that are in the hallway so everything's gonna be great soon just when i have time to do it but i'm gonna do it if you need help i love doing things that i need to do at my house at other people's homes we can switch it's so much each other's motivators yeah it's so much fucking easier as someone who literally has been saying that i need to get like i don't have enough hanging like space in this house and so i have like three temporary clothing racks that i got when we moved in and i was like well i'll install like you know hooks on the like uh bars on the wall have you done it yeah yeah but i think like with the shelving units it makes

it easier then it does i don't have to i just measure for if it can fit there as opposed to let me get the rack and the hanging thing it's too much no no and also you can just shut the door yeah i can't do that that's my issue oh yeah yeah there's so it has to look nice but really what i wanted to do is the sliding doors behind me and it should be easier than it is but like sometimes i'm like god damn this well-built old home because these things are not like you know you can't just like finagle them out like you can with a new build but the they're like sliding doors and i was like i just want to like take the um trim off and then put hinges on and add them so they can open out and then i could fit way way way way more in there because

it's not sliding and you don't you don't have to like reach around and then i could do like a whole second row of hanging stuff in there that'll be great um and i if i would have to like rip it down yeah to do that i'm not doing that yeah and they don't even have wheels behind you there's not even wheels on them they just slide on the wood yeah wood on wood wood on wood surf raw dogging splinters ouch ouch ouch ouch um but yeah i'm currently doing a lot of clay crafts and making some magnets did you find your friction images refrigerator what did you find the images on your phone no i don't have any what a disappointment during lunch i'll take some okay and uh I can probably even just take you show you a screenshot from my um video because I have

been filming making some of them but um yeah I'm like I have to do a whole gallery wall except now I'm like kind of like regretting part of it and so I'm like should I like start part of it over which is a lot but here's the thing I hyper fixate and then I don't worry about it I like we'll forget about it so i know if i'm getting stressed or i'm annoyed oh and then i was doing um what was it i was doing um um um flower arranging i got flowers and i was like let me arrange these that was fun they have classes at the getty for flower arranging we should go take it oh my god we should that would be really fun i love the getty me too we can i can name drop gg see if that gets us anything hey i know a getty by marriage right also met

nats and that's very very very kind yeah nats came when um gg was on not too deep nats came was just chilling sitting there while we're recording it's like what's up yeah i i really like i we met at um where did we at like an event or whatever and i gg's like one of the like oldest like internet friendships i've had like i've known her forever like we went clubbing in new york when i was underage like we have just known each other forever so whenever we see each other at something she's like oh my god thank god you're here like and we were hanging out and that's like wait i've heard so much about you you're like an og and i was like this is so kind and so sweet but no gg's like the the the funniest greatest person i always say her and um kingsley

are like some of the best people christine sudelko you know people who might have like different personalities and you expect you use personalities like very similar but like are like the best kind of people okay these are not the the done pictures but i here's a save save for but they're on my computer okay i'll air drop them to myself how are they oh because you used your camera camera yeah okay and i have more pictures but not on your your phone i know i've got pictures of some of it but not on um they're on a memory card i don't know where also how did you not get an alert for the earthquake today it was so fucking loud i don't No. That's crazy to me because Mats had to go to work early.

And he didn't get one either? Well, so I'm like an incredibly light sleeper. Like I will wake up if there's an earthquake in the middle of the night. Like I'll wake up. I wake up from anything. Yeah, that's crazy. And so Mats got, he was like leaving the house at like around that time. And so like, even if he like slightly shifts in the bed, I wake up. Like he goes to golf, wherever he goes to work. So he was getting up right before that and therefore i was getting up and like getting out of bed so like i would have been up and i like neither of us got the alert and let alone feel it i thought i felt one the other day but i probably did but i didn't care enough to look it up because it wasn't

like that big i heard it per usual like and so i usually get up wait did you hear the earthquake or did you hit the alert all of it so around 7 25 I usually get up every day and I pee and I get back in bed for like 10 more minutes to like wake up wake up and then I get up around 7 45 so I got up at 7 25 to as my usual pee goes got back in bed and I was closing my eyes to get my my short little nappy nap in before my alarm goes off again or it goes off and then I hear the rumble rolling in and i was like oh an earthquake's coming and then that like not even half a second later this loud obnoxious blaring starts going off on my phone and i am like what the fuck is that because it's never happened during an earthquake before no that's usually an amber

alert yeah and uh and then the earthquake came and then i looked at my phone and so this is what i think happens when i looked at my phone to try to turn that obnoxious thing off i think i turned off my alarm in the process because it went off at the same time basically um but it was it was a long earthquake wait that's crazy maybe it wasn't i mean no i should we'd feel it yeah it's just so random we just missed it i don't know how so that happened maybe you need to update your phone i don't know i you know i'm actually pretty good with not getting those because we have too many earthquakes for them to give us an audio notification i just want you to be aware that it could be coming the big one not the big one i mean

as in those alarms yeah yeah like it's just we don't need that give that to new york they freaked the fuck out when they had theirs and like granted yeah if i was in a really tall ass fucking building like i might feel a little unstable too so like we don't need them though no like when we can't tell if we're having an earthquake or someone's pulling in their trash cans like we're you know that we're desensitized to it and like we're fine yeah like avian said she was in front of her house and didn't she thought that her baby was playing with the phone and had messed up something on the phone and she like she came inside and then her because her mom was there and she and her mom was like i wonder how big that one was and abe was like what yeah that's what i mean like it's just

like let let us live in peace we are we're like used to the earthquake i'm not used to those fucking alarms right and it wasn't like if that alarm that alarm came half a second after i already heard it rolling in and by like the alarm isn't gonna do anything no and it's like i feel the the earthquake the same kind of alarm is going off under your feet what are you alarming me to no it's not hey tornado's coming it's like by the way that was an earthquake and it's like cool i can just go on twitter and that's what we do but then don't and then it didn't give any information about like if i tap on it i feel like if i tap on it it should be like this was the magnitude it was there's no information it just says emergency earthquake detected drop cover hold on protect

yourself you shut up drop cover yeah it says drop cover hold on protect yourself by the time i read that it's over melissa do you think they're gear is there like some prop that just passed about like gearing up for the big one because like maybe maybe they know that i'm from here so i didn't get on the list because like mott's probably mons would love that he anytime it's earthquake then i'm like okay we'll be fine i literally just i texted you and said i hope you feel better because i was already asleep and you sent the text message last night and then i put my head back under the pillow and went back to sleep i thought my alarm was going off in a few minutes it didn't it didn't but it's okay but

that's just so wild yeah i there's got to be some propaganda in here about us giving these alerts to something we literally cannot do anything about and also like they can't even tell the magnitude of an earthquake like it takes them a week to like so so solidly feel confident in saying what the magnitude is without it changing every five minutes like what the fuck are we supposed to do with that information nothing oh well anything else anything else you want to talk about i'm good we've talked enough sounds great all right the votes haven't gone up we should talk about that maybe they're up by now um i'm sorry everyone i now that we don't record and we don't air it until tuesday you've got time we can record it on monday yeah i apologize everybody on uh

wednesday we've got nothing thursday we've got don't blame me and then we'll be right back here for 15 friday we ride back out at the end of the night i wonder what he's doing bob we already looked that up recently didn't we i don't know what you're talking about bgb oh yeah yeah bob bad stuff yeah that was like he's the one who's doing the bad stuff we had hit stop before we got into we had been talking good about him and then we hit stop and then we got into conspiracy theories so i had to cut all the information out the podcast i did a deep dive on mom bob and we were like oh my god he's making music like he grew up so cute and then we scroll a little bit farther we got oh oh god no we're getting the worst conspiracy theories in the world oh no he's

to go fund me he's able to help him send things to space to prove his conspiracy theory which of course are rooted in bad bad things so that's what he's doing but i will forever in my mind separate that's one time i'm gonna separate the art from the artist and it's just that one fucking song yeah i know every word to that song so good good song yeah it's about airplanes who doesn't love when someone like they're like hey could you hop on this it's also hayley williams yeah love her i couldn't in my head i was like not panera not panamore not parameters not pandora no that's so funny not panera what is that again yeah paramore that's fair i did that recently with something and i kept trying to like say the right word and mox was like what are you

saying and i was like i'm not saying the right word but i need you to get close enough to this i have to you gotta try some more i was just trying so hard all right goodbye for real now