Don't Blame Me! - Friend Thinks I Slept With Her Ex

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Meghan and Melisa give advice on: Crushing on a coworker FOMO Boyfriend's mother being judgmental Accusations from a former friend Don't Blame Them: Spark in a relationship Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Subscribe to our new show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-am-i-wrong/id1591757891 Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone] International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome to don't blame me hi hello we're both in different locations yours is permanent mine is not that is true where in the world are you today i'm coming in live from Fayetteville Arkansas amazing I'm so happy for you that you get to see everybody in Arkansas thank you I'll be going to a lot of soccer games a basketball game so you know fulfilling my duties is your whole family athletic well because you're athletic I don't know if your sisters are athletic but I mean I did gymnastics megan was pretty good at running i mean the kids are okay the kids are participating yes i didn't even do that yes they're participating in sports do any of them have a knack uh

mj is good at football but it's not currently football season so he's playing football aka soccer yeah let's just say yesterday after the game he forgot that he had given his coach his phone and so he sprinted across the field to get his phone and that was the best he ran i relate hey here's the thing we put in the work for the things we care about yeah yeah he's great at football but yeah I don't think soccer's his he's phoning it in like it's like it's also like a social so Mott's was kind of the same way like Mott's was like he liked football he wasn't like really that he was like fine in it he wasn't like that great but he also like wasn't like the biggest guy and he also played baseball and played lacrosse and then finally once he like got good

enough at lacrosse he realized he could just like stop playing the other sports that he like didn't like that much but it was just like social activities because like most of the same team would be like oh we do this sport on this season in this sport and he was like oh i'm only doing it because my friends are here and like this isn't that fun yeah we'll see how good he continues to be at football because his dad is like five seven maybe five so we'll see how long this goes yeah but hey it could be the kate moss of football i think i think noah will be good at basketball because he can already palm it he has gigantic hands um and he's like good at dribbling stuff carol i plays basketball but that's what she does

her team in the last three years that she's played they've never won a game audrey's very gangly so we'll see she asked to be signed up for volleyball but then two days ago asked melanie what volleyball was so she signed up for it but doesn't know what it is and i guess she just heard somebody talk about it i'm obsessed with her chaotic energy like i i just i love it like yeah that's that's really funny i got encouraged to do volleyball by my pe teacher in high school because he was like you have like the right body for it like you have like i have very i'm like tall i have long legs but i also have like very long arms and he was like and you like flinch every time something comes towards you and the goal with volleyball is like push the ball away

from you and i think those reflect like you're not trying to like catch it and he was like exactly what i said to melanie about audrey yeah so like no but i guess that's like literally like his process of like recruiting athletes he goes if you're afraid of the ball like and you have the body for it like I want you to do volleyball because like I can teach you I can't help you if you're gonna try and catch the ball like if you're trying to push it away like that actually helps me here but then he saw me jump and my attempt to jump and he was like and then he also saw my kneecaps I was gonna say I'm glad you didn't do it because can you imagine the bruises that you would have on your body well also like there is in no world my diving for a ball like I

would just like i'm not gonna do that like i am a bag of bones tied together by some very thin skin like that's like and like you mean to tell me like i'm going to throw my fragile body on the ground for a ball no no no no no no i don't have that mentality at all i would rather like quit on my own terms than like fail at something which is my downfall yeah that's fine anyways all that aside you oh my gosh i if you're watching on patreon subscribe patreon watch the video versions the podcast i thankfully this is quite blown out because i am in the messiest room in our house that i have literally not unpacked at all this is my office i am you know i won't lie being in this room i've kind of just avoided it because it's i can i can live in denial that i've

been done a lot of unpacking when I just pretend that this room doesn't exist but also you've only been there for what 10 days yes so you've done enough I've done more than enough and I was unpacking yesterday and I was unpacking the like bathroom was like full of my like makeup hair care skin care like all of that stuff I literally at our old place I had the cabinet space under two like his and her gender norms but like you know in those sinks and then I also had an entire closet full of like extra stuff and so now I needed to like find a place so I moved all of that and I didn't I am like even reminding that like my threshold for like how long I've been standing or walking or standing up and down is so much lower than I think it is when I tell myself like

oh like you have to take it easy like your body is dying I have to set my expectation I have to like set that bar even lower than I think I do because yesterday I not to worry everybody but then I was convinced I had a blood clot in my leg because my leg was like swelling and it was like so tight and it just like really like you know that kind of like aching kind of like pain yeah and I was like oh and I like made Mott's rub it he was like pulled my sweatpants up and he was like your ankle is huge like you must have sprained your ankle I was like I don't think I did like i literally just think that this has been from like standing and getting up and walking but he made the great point that i haven't necessarily let my body fully recover from moving and like

now that threshold of like how long i can stand and like walk and move around and put weight on like my legs and stuff is like much lower and i was like oh you're right so i've been wearing make depression socks sense and it's doing a lot better and um yeah i'm very very very paranoid about um getting a blood clot because i'm in the perfect age range and i'm a woman who is also on birth control and i justine just had a blood clot and so did hayley bieber and so now i am like these fellow blonde women who live in los angeles i like i am now on hyper uh high alert for them so you said i just steamed but i pictured i carly in my head that's not blonde i asked i was like do i just eat it i just eat it he goes yeah nickelodeon great shout i was like

that's i carly he was like oh and i was like her name from that didn't she no it was apple oh so they both took inspiration from apple but i thought it was funnier to me that i mods like worked in industry and also like specifically worked in like the youtube space at the era of i justine and so i was like the fact that you know what i carly is but not i justine but he does know who she is but i can't wait for you to see the house no i want to get back yay can't wait for you to see it i guess we should tell everybody about this show i guess i guess you're here you're listening or you're watching this is don't blame me we're an advice podcast where we give you wonderful life-changing amazing advice and you might be

wondering how are these two scientists beautiful women hey who i actually oh that does work for me okay so that makes me feel bad about myself so let me come with a different one how do these to internationally renowned contortionists um uh athletes spokeswomen for every brand that has ever been and best friends close personal friends of both oprah viola davis and z-way how do they have time to grace us mere plebs with beautiful wonderful advice it's because we are the best right we you know they say that you make time for what you want and so we want to be there for you so we take time out of our very very busy schedules and provide you with the best possible advice possible yeah so call her daddy might be exactly call her daddy might

be getting paid millions and millions of dollars to continue her show but we are doing this out with the goodness of our own heart. But hey, if you would like to give us millions of dollars. Great. We're not going to say no. Mm-hmm. Okay.

And as we say on this show, what we lack in credentials, we make up for. In opinions. Ay. So yeah, that's our show. If you want to call in for an upcoming episode,

you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. And international listeners, you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com just record your voice whether that's voicemail or voicemail tell us the predicament that's currently happening in your life and what you want us to give you some advice on and in order to give you the best possible advice we ask that you give us all of the relevant information if you want to let us know your pronouns please do don't feel pressured to do so if you don't want to let us know your ages if this

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we want to hear if you're like oh i heard this call and i have something similar please just take our advice from the other call because if it's similar we're not gonna replay it yeah and then you can also you can do we can give you advice on a different situation in your life think of it's like a twofer like somebody already basically asked the exact same question that you have you swap out a little bit of the information and then you can call us with an additional thing and then you got two personalized essentially advice segments for just one call for the price of one free yep free 99 free 99 but if you are like hey i have pockets whether they are deep or shallow and you would like to spread the wealth by contributing to our patreon and supporting the

show we do appreciate that we do video versions of every podcast you can see our facial reactions which i think are quite literally priceless but we also do live streams twice a month if you go over the patreon you can also see how the arkansas humidity is making my curls pop so good like fantastic and the skin is glowing yeah the la heat is really holding me down i think if you watch on patreon you will actually see the stark i look gray and like my skin is like sallow my hair dry and then you look at most glowing hair there's also a ring light in front of me so okay but i and i'm i'm completely backlit so like you can really just see the dark circles and it's just gotta get to that humidity in my life yeah well what's what's new with you any housekeeping any things

you want to update the people on no i don't think so i mean one thing i find very funny is that um my dad likes to talk to the tv he walks he watches very interesting things like basically like a cop show about wildlife officers i don't know what they're called those people park rangers like maybe park rangers i don't know that go and arrest people if they don't have fishing license but he also watches a lot of like daytime court tv and then the news all day but he like talks to the tv as well and so every time somebody that comes on like talking about anti-abortion stuff or a lot of campaigns that are running oh yeah for candidates that are here in arkansas he just yells and she's like that's so fucking stupid that's dumb hey that sounds like my dad yeah

i appreciate that as a kid i used to like walk out into the living like be like yeah and he's like no not i'm not talking to you and i'm like okay it's only you and me in this house and you're you're you're yelling at cnn actually to be fair it was less likely that it was more likely he was talking to npr that was playing on his crank radio oh yes dad's what a vibe what a vibe have you got any good food do you have like a food that like when you go back home like you either want your parents to do both of your parents cook my mom does not cook i didn't think she did i don't want to comfort i mean she she can't i mean she i'll say she's got like two dishes and like thanksgiving food that she's good at but okay that makes sense personality

wise i've never met your parents but personality wise from everything i know about them your dad gives me cooking energy your mom gives me buys you the best birthday cake energy uh-huh like beautiful cakes like really really nice great flavors that's the vibe i get yeah i'll have her come in when we're done recording you can say hi oh my god i can't wait wait so is there anything that you like requested to be like food wise or is it like a restaurant that like when you're home you always want to go to i always want barbecue i always want sonic but the last couple weeks my stomach hasn't been doing great so i had didn't i haven't really had like a craving for anything specific yet but i did get barbecue the first day i was here but the things that i want i don't think

i can eat like there's this restaurant called mermaids that does like really good like seafood pasta that i enjoy asian seafood pasta i don't think i can eat it you have to be in the still correct stomach space for a seafood pasta yeah yeah it's creamy creamy it no it's a it's cajun so what is that base i don't know it's more spicy but there's still most of the time you would even in a cake i would you would have some heavy cream or i mean yeah there's a heavy yeah yes you're correct when you say creamy i think like alfredo oh but yes you're correct do you like alfredo no okay i was like i thought you were i didn't even i would never even assume put me on the toilet for days yeah days but yeah i'm excited for you to be home well i guess i

guess that's all of our housekeeping stuff everything that's new with us and we don't have an update for this episode if we have been in contact with you or someone from our team has been in contact with you about scheduling an update please check your email and like check back we have a couple people we're waiting on hearing from and if you haven't emailed them with an update and you do have an update you've been a call that we've played on a previous episode send us an email we would love to hear an update you know who i want to hear from that we never heard back from that gal that went on a date with her boyfriend to meet her boyfriend's father and then the father was her ex hookup and then he texted her and said that he the father texted

her and said that she wanted to have a baby with her i want to where is she and here's the thing judgment free i don't say that i mean that i never say judgment free because i'm always judging but if i say it i mean it like judgment free if you got with the dad like if you whatever you did she didn't want to be with the dad but that's what i mean like if you did something that was out of character or like you felt like oh i did the complete opposite thing or i like completely changed my tune on this truly this will be the one time i will promise i ensure judgment free except i reserve the right for judgment if incest is involved that's a call that's a in the future call back to this week's episode but am i wrong

you know what i missed i missed a good tea bagging tea party reference there oh damn damn we'll say it here now so then people know we're not going to tell you what we're talking about but just know at the appropriate time melissa does wish she had included a teabagging tea party reference it would have been so good but now it's like a choose your own adventure yeah i'm surprised no one on tiktok or anything brought it up either it's probably on twitter true but yeah you can just swipe it i can't wait for everyone to hear that part okay shall we get into the calls we michelle hello megan and melissa so i am 24 i go by they them pronouns so my situation i never thought that this would happen to me but i have a crush on a co-worker which i always tell myself

because i actually learned this really good advice from jocelyn davis where she says i don't shit where i eat basically meaning don't date in work or in work environment but um i have a question an employee an employee a co-worker who is 40 something i forgot his age he goes by he hear pronouns and technically talks to me i kind of have like you know those giggly bubbly emotions which is very not like me like i'm literally like daria and i always like to keep myself professional at work like i always like to keep my work friends just like professional and everything but this guy i'm just like sheesh i like you and you are cute and you look like a shorter version of maluma maluma is a sinner if you guys don't know who that is so yeah how do i like suppress

these feelings because i don't want to like you know i want i would rather have this guy be my friend than a crush if that makes sense so i really hope you guys can help me out oh and just so you know i am in therapy but i haven't talked to my therapist lately because she is going into surgery so i'm trying my best to keep things intact since i do have time i am gemini sun Aries, Moon, and Gemini Wishing. Okay, thanks. Bye. I hope that there's nobody who doesn't know who Maluma is, but if

you do not know who Maluma is or you don't know what Maluma looks like, I just need you all to look it up because that really does heavily influence this because Maluma is hot. So hot. I didn't know who that was until on TikTok, you know, they got the little things where you're doing

the head of who would you rather, you know. And he's in a few of them and I was like, who is this beautiful beautiful man and then i looked it up and i was like oh got it okay so now i do know who he is he's stunning and i'm really glad that like that's actually a very key important part of his information because like i like sometimes when people like call him for stuff i'm like i need to know like when you're like digmatized by someone and i'm like why are you letting this bad behavior or whatever sometimes it is helpful to know like give me a celebrity

they look like because if you tell me they look like someone who i don't think is cute like that helps me and like helps me know you more but it would be hard to have a co-worker who looked like maluma but you did say like a short version of maluma and how tall is maluma look some people don't have hang-ups on height okay making some people aren't yeah i fake nine how i mean how tall are you what do you lie you say five seven seven some people yeah some people aren't five seven and you know they don't mind short kings well i just want you to know that maluma says that uh they're five ten okay so maluma's probably five eight short king we love a short king well so my instinct in this is like yes don't shit where you eat having a crush on a

co-worker like pursuing a relationship with a co-worker is not good having a crush i think if you are single if he is single I think a crush can be pretty innocent if it doesn't if it remains like I don't know because I kind of at the same time I think we need a different version we need like a tiers of crushes because like sometimes crushes are all consuming and you're like oh my gosh I have to like plan what I'm wearing because like I want to like know what they think I look like and I want and like it consumes your all of your thoughts like you're not performing well in work you're not doing well in school like you're all consumed by this but then there's kind of that no pressure no strings attached little thing that it just makes an

activity that you don't like so much kind of fun and it's something that you can look forward to and like flirting and it's cute but it's not taking over your life so I think if you can if it can maintain in the passive but fun just adds a little bit of like excitement to like work I think that's like totally fine but you basically just have to ensure that it doesn't get farther than that but i would also say that the the age thing is like there's a difference between thinking someone's hot and having a crush on them and i think that like once you're having this back and forth flirtation that worries me that he is also into you just because i don't like any relationships that have someone who is like basically twice their age being into someone

like yeah half their age that to me doesn't sit right it doesn't that's not a knock to younger people who are attracted to or find themselves having crushes on older people that's something that like is psychologically can be broken down and figured out why but i don't like the older i don't like i don't like him participating in this crush i think it's inappropriate on his end but you said like i how do i would rather remain friends and like get over the crush i think you need to do less than that and just be co-workers you know that's the key for me is you can look all you want you can maybe even fantasize all you want as long as it doesn't interfere with your work but i don't think you should even be friends with this person

because say i mean there's plenty of uh fruit out there that we can't eat you like pineapple but you can't eat it right good point so like it's there but it doesn't necessarily mean that we should participate because it's bad for us and so this helps if like you having a crush on them is detrimental to your work maybe look into you know find some things about them that you don't like like maybe they breathe too hard maybe they suck on their teeth maybe they i don't know just do things that turn you off and maybe find those things to help with pushing this crush off but and sometimes you get to know people too and you're actually they may look appeasing but they their personality also turns you off from them and then what else what else can you do the age

thing is the biggest thing because if they were like closer to your age I would be like you know if you later down the road have a different job you don't work in the same department sure go for it but it's the age is the biggest second biggest thing here for me so you know this is i mean truthfully this is somebody that could be your father that's what i was gonna say like if maybe you google celebrities or people who are his age and i think that like burst the maluma bubble and like bring it down to earth with a i don't know who's like a man in his who's a celebrity in his like mid-40s that like you wouldn't be attracted to i'm hesitant to find actors because actors are all attractive nick lachey yeah or like chris pratt like there's

he does that i don't know how old is he i don't think he's that old wow okay these men are too attractive to use them jared leto that's a good one yeah that is a good one like will ferrell but see personality wise she's like that's true i was just thinking about that i was like yeah i'm looking at personality and yeah i think jared little is a good one yeah he's like like not only is he like problematic he's also just like really cringy yeah yeah so like i just think that the and i mean this in the kindest way possible like my advice to everybody who is into somebody who is like twice their age don't think about it in like this isn't meant to be like a knock to your confidence like you're all like really really wonderful people and like you're all great and

like you deserve so much but the reason why this older person is like interested in you is not because you're really funny and you're really great and you have like a wonderful personality that can't outweigh a predatory and like power dynamic and anyone who is like a really good person wouldn't like the power dynamic outweighs all of your like really wonderful and great traits and so then it becomes that they like that power dynamic i think there are like yeah those things can be successful but it's not in this is like the perfect storm of that and it seems like you're very aware of that and like you don't want this to continue but I also don't know what your job is so if it's something where you're like being scheduled like you work shifts with somebody

and it's about like scheduling like I think like you can make an excuse to be like hey I'm starting to take a class on these days which are the days that like he normally works and like I would love if I could like switch my schedule around to have like work on these days and kind of create some separation but I think Melissa's right you find the ics you like figure out what his ics are and then you also find like just ics about compare him to other people in your life or celebrities who are his age who you don't like and can then have those ics there as well and then and day-to-day at work and that stuff realize that like you flirting with him doesn't like it's him flirting with you back like that we need to make that give you the ick because it

it should give you the ick but i think you're in a work bubble it's like camp goggles so it can feel kind of hard and in that sense but out of sight out of mind and then if that doesn't work just paint them as like a disgusting just person who's like just full of icks and then you're like i was gonna say i don't want people that breathe hard to come at me because i am a fellow heart breather so she is you know someone would say that well yeah and also just know if anyone if any hard breathers want to come for melissa i just want to know where were you when moths was on the podcast where were you defending his name in these comments i don't believe you then you're just attacking melissa like i don't believe that you stand for hard

mouth breathers because moths was right there i'm a hard nose breather um and sometimes i'm listening to this coco our editor does a great job of getting them out but i've listened to other ones where i'm the one doing the first edit on it and i'm like damn i breathe very hard i you've got pretty clear nasal passages though like it's clear it's just straight ass septum yeah it's not because of the septum it's just because of my lung condition that yeah i breathe hard i am the opposite i breathe much more through my mouth because despite having gotten a nose job my septum is still not great so it's straighter but i was gonna say let's come up with some universal ics that could be helpful so like picture him running after the bus that's late

and his like pants are a little bit too long and he's like tripping over them okay see i would say that and be like adorable some people's ics are other people's pleasure or other people's yums yeah some people are into wedgie picking too okay what else um imagine that's the thing is you can't you can't because some people are into things so there's not like a universal ick unless it's like a red flag okay so like but take your pick like take whatever serves for you and i'm not saying that these are all icks like i'm just offering different ones take which one applies that he he still calls his mom mommy that could be a nick picture him having explosive diarrhea picture him sending back a plate of food because it's too spicy and or no or picture him saying

please no pepper that's too spicy for me that's a good one yeah like just picture these like Just go out of your way. I don't know why that's making me laugh. It's too spicy. What else? Picture him saying that Britney Spears should cover up more on her Instagram. That is an ick holding a fistful of red flags. Picture him saying that he thinks that he thought Maroon 5's Super Bowl performance

was better than Beyonce's. Sorry, I should have waited till you're done drinking. well that's a good one knowing who this person is too i know that's why i picked that one um picture him saying that barbies were more elite than bratz dolls which i just think bratz dolls were the most under i'm sorry i love both of them so much but i just think we as a society never gave we gave the bratz dolls a movie sure but like we didn't give them the hype that they deserved that's your opinion but i love barbies too okay i just have a soft spot for brats because my dad bought me when i was like i don't know how old i was i think for me it's

because i was when brats came out i was older so it wasn't a toy for me that makes sense that makes sense yeah brats were cheaper than barbies and i wanted like everyone had the barbie dream houses and i like really wanted one but my dad bought me a brats motorcycle i was like and that seems on par for him too he used to have a motorcycle okay i feel like we've given you a vast amount of x if anybody wants to comment on the latest instagram post with just some generic potential x to envision please comment them and we can help you out of this situation and maybe it's helpful no i was gonna say maybe it's helpful to picture maluma doing these things but like there's no chance because i can picture maluma having explosive diarrhea and be like okay how can

you've judged when you have explosive diarrhea yourself daily to be fair i i am like so unfazed by poop yeah so i would have to pick something else that's what i'm saying like some people's other people's yums that's true i would not say diarrhea is the yum i would just say neutral neutral yeah well all right next call hi negative melissa just want to say first off i did call earlier and I had a script but I got self-conscious and went completely off script and so I'm back with a better script. Anyways I am 20-21 in a few weeks and my pronouns are she her I am calling about Thelma or the fear of missing out. As a woman in like the 18 to 25 age range My feeds on every social media are filled with engagements, weddings, pregnancies, and babies.

I feel like no matter how many times I click not interested, it's either that content just keeps showing, or it's a friend posting that content or announcing something like that. And while I am super proud of the achievements I've made in my life, like starting school again, moving to a different state with my boyfriend, et cetera, seeing all this content makes it hard. It feels like society and my friends and family are making me feel less than by not starting to hit those milestones fast enough. Both my boyfriend and my family keep asking when we will get engaged

and keep bringing up examples of friends and family friends of ours who got engaged within the last six months to a year, who had only been together for six months or a year. Full reference, we've been together for about three and a half. And after hearing it and them talking about it all the time, it does make me a little bit insecure. But all that being said, I would love all the advice on how to not feel like I'm missing out and like I'm way behind everyone else when it comes to life.

Thanks. Oh, and feel free to be harsh if you need to. and left the park I feel like you can probably speak to this a little bit better than me because California not all of California but where I grew up the median like most parents were in their like late 30s early 40s having kids and I think maybe a couple people from my high school have babies like maybe but like I don't have that and then I moved to Los Angeles which is even more like that but you have the Southern side, which I think is a little bit more of this time. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I can speak to this. You're 21 and you're seeing this when I was in college

age, most people were, or not most people, a lot of friends were getting engaged, especially the ones I went to high school with her getting engaged. And then by the time we were out of college for a couple of years, they were getting married. One thing that might make you feel better is that a lot of them are now uh divorced i don't know if that would make you feel better but a lot of the ones that got married very early on are divorced right now and on their second marriage i know somebody that's on their third marriage so i don't know if that is uh comforting to you but i'm someone that like i see a lot of people that when i was that at that age that they were getting into relationships because they were maybe specifically i don't do you know this term

of going to college for your mrs degree yeah yeah and that's what they were doing i and i would see so many red flags with the people that they were dating they were just getting married and engaged to be getting married and engaged and maybe looking and see looking more into their relationships if there's somebody that's a friend and examining their relationships and see if like this is actually something that like is their relationship the kind of relationship that you want because if not then what are you missing out on the announcement okay and I know your family is kind of pressuring you but you just said you know you just got back in school there are other things for you to be focused on and marriage and baby announcements and engagements are not, you know,

things that you're interested right in right now. So I would simply just like, what are you missing out on? What do you think that it is that you're missing out on? Is it the spectacle of all of it? Or do you actually like, don't feel like where you should be in your life? And I would write down these I'm a visual person I would write down like what I actually want in life how I feel right now am I being fulfilled and if there are areas that aren't as fulfilled as others then how can I fulfill it and don't worry about other people's things also if there's people that you're following on social media that you're not particularly friends with or you're not like close to, but they're just people that you follow, unfollow them or mute them. Those are options.

You can also mute phrases and words on social media and doing that can also block those unwanted things out. Yeah, I agree with all of that. I will say that secure people who are secure and really happy with the decisions that they make, don't try to encourage other people to make those same choices and decisions it reminds me the same thing of drinking like when you're like oh I'm not gonna drink it's like come on like I'm gonna be so fun like do this do this and I'm like oh you are insecure about this thing or maybe you don't feel really comfortable with this and like you want a buddy along with you on this sinking ship and not that I'm calling like young marriage or any of these like milestones as a sinking ship but I have like friends who

are married I have friends who like are engaged I have friends who are single I have friends with kids I have friends who don't have kids and no one ever asked me that I personally knew like when are you gonna get engaged when are you guys gonna do that like when are you gonna do that it was people I didn't know and now that I am engaged like I don't ask my friends when they're going to like who are in like I one of my close friends her and her boyfriend have been together longer I think probably a year or two before Moths and I and she was asking me about like what we wanted to do for like a wedding or whatever and then she was like yeah i think i would want to do something like this i was like oh do you guys want to get married and she was like yeah of course i was like

oh cool like but i never even thought to ask because it's just so in the most lovingly loving thing possible like it has i don't really give a fuck like i truly like i don't someone else getting married and getting that like document in most cases doesn't i mean it never affects me but in like most cases is completely irrelevant to my life if it's helpful for me knowing my friend is like a different power of attorney that's great if it's about like immigration amazing like those are things that that piece of paper I can as an outsider can like really be so excited for like that large change that that means but other than that I couldn't fucking care less and so I think like when there's that like self-induced FOMO and then there is like the FOMO from other people and

this like pressure and I also wonder like would you care and would you feel this way if no one else was doing these things like do you feel like you are behind on your own personal timeline and schedule or do you feel like everybody else is perceived what you perceiving as everybody else's timelines and schedules are influencing yours and is that like like you said like we must like write down everything that you want to do and like what you're currently doing and try your best to like take out what everybody else is doing from the equation and would you still want to be engaged at a certain age like would you want and also those things can also change like when i was younger i wanted to be like engaged at like i don't know 21 or something but i i also want i

want to be careful with i don't want anyone to come for this caller because i think that feeling like you're behind is a really universal experience and it truly i personally think it truly does not matter what you have accomplished because the goalposts will always keep moving. So whether you're listening to this call and you are single and you don't have a long-term partner and like you feel like you're behind on getting engaged and getting married, like the goalpost keeps moving for all of us personally. That's just like the culture that we live in. And so I think it's really okay to change our timelines from like what we thought we wanted or like what we thought would happen. And also reflect on like, why did we think that? Like when I like looked back to

like thinking i was going to be engaged at like a certain age i'm like okay let's like really really break this down i thought i was going to be engaged i wanted to be engaged by the end of college but also there's a flaw in your argument megan because you didn't want to go to college you didn't want to finish college anyway but it's because i watched greek and i loved like they were doing that and so like that's what i wanted to do and like it wasn't like these things were put there because they were really well thought out in my head or very intentional or had some sort of meaning they kind of became these like this arbitrary timeline that i created for myself when I didn't have the knowledge and information and life experience to create said

timeline like it just doesn't make sense and so I also think that like Melissa said mute people but I would go out of your way to follow people that you don't necessarily know in real life but like whether that's like influencers like celebrities like people like just content creators who are not married and are not engaged and like don't have kids and you could even go out of your way to follow those people who are like child-free by choice ones like just anything that will in turn like not only diversify your feed from like what you see but that gives you more content that's the polar opposite of what you're currently getting to engage with and then the algorithm will bring you more of that kind of stuff and the day-to-day pressures of like people

asking you that stuff i just think like you just say like we're gonna be doing on our own own timeline like there's no rush and I think it's harder to deal with that when it's coming from like family and you're in like a newer you're you said she said she's in a new city right just school yeah and like befriending people who are in the kind of similar life stages you because I mean at 20 turning 21 Mott's and I weren't even date I like I'd never even met Mott's at that point yeah I'm in my mid-30s I'm not married I'm not engaged I'm not having kids like these are things that eventually I want but like when it comes it comes I'm not out here like sad about it I especially I'm just like looking at other people's relationships and where they are

and seeing I think a lot of people honestly a lot of people settle for what's there and that's not the kind of free and that's fine you know that's what you want you just want to be with someone that you're comfortable with or you know just because they're there and you ignore a lot of red flags and then get divorced later and that's the kind of life you want great but that's not the life i want yeah i would rather sacrifice than settle and so like at all points of your life you're going to be sacrificing something whether it's you're sacrificing work to focus on relationship you're sacrificing like choosing to really throw yourself into work and not date for a while like I think like life is like full of sacrifice and sacrifice is a intentional choice

that I get to make but I'm not gonna settle like and settling doesn't get rid of sacrifice like and I think a lot of people when they're young think it think it does and so a lot of people get married and pop out babies like really young and they end up settling for someone who can support them while they stay at home so they can do that and they're sacrificing their career but in turn for sacrificing that which is your choice totally do that they might in turn be settling for a relationship yep so everybody wants what somebody else has and you just have to exist in an echo chamber for a bit and figure out what it is that you want without the influence of other people move to la proper because

like nobody no one yeah nobody very relatable though best of luck let's take a break okay we will be back and we're back roll the tapes hi lisa and megan i'm calling to ask for advice on my relationship with my boyfriend's mom i'm 22 years old pronouns she her and have been dating a 24 year old man pronouns he him for about six months now his mom who i will call laura is in her mid-60s and uses she her pronouns last week we flew to spend a week with laura who i'd never met in my boyfriend's home path. I want to say before I get too far into this call that I like Laura and I know she likes me as she told my boyfriend so multiple times throughout the week that we spent with her.

I'm looking for advice because Laura said multiple things over the course of the week that I was offended by. Usually I don't tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but I truly don't believe Laura was trying to hurt my feelings because she privately told my boyfriend how much she likes me. Laura could not get over the fact that I have a tattoo and piercings. She brought it up multiple times and mentioned it to my boyfriend that she was glad he didn't have any. Laura even brought up my tattoo to my boyfriend's aunt while I was in the room and spoke as if I wasn't there. The next thing that happened was that she was constantly asking questions about my religion. I was raised Catholic and still consider myself to be Catholic, but I don't

attend math often. We were discussing Roe v. Wade and Laura, who is vocally pro-choice, told me I must be a Catholic out of convenience because I am pro-choice. I felt like it was really insulting to comment about the way I choose to practice Catholicism, a denomination she admitted to knowing very little about. Before I talk about the last thing, I want to give a trigger warning for talking about weight and quote-unquote health. At the dinner table, Laura told me she was concerned about my boyfriend's weight and his health. She said she believes he cares more about his mental health than his physical health. I'm not sure why this was such a horrible thing to her, but I digress. I am a bigger person and so is my boyfriend, but both of us are in peak health.

I know that health is not determined by size, but Laura kept going on and on about how worried she was for him and how she wanted me to look out for my boyfriend's health. This bothers me immensely for two reasons. One, she was openly criticizing my boyfriend in front of both of us. And two, when Laura was saying she wasn't okay with my boyfriend's weight, she was implying that she was not okay with fatness, a category I also fall into. My boyfriend didn't push back against this comment, but he wasn't happy about it, and we've had multiple discussions about it. My boyfriend has pushed back against her comments. Laura has gotten genuinely upset with herself. Having seen that, I truly believe she is ignorant to how hurtful she is being.

Another factor I think is at play is that Laura is older. She abides by traditional Southern values that my parents, who are about 10 years younger than Laura, don't follow. I went into this weekend expecting some type of tiff between us, but I realized I don't know how to react or respond in this situation. I love my boyfriend, and family is important to both of us. I would like help learning how to ignore Laura's comments. Thank you so much and have a great day. I don't think the solution is learning how to ignore Laura. I think if Laura is as ignorant and clueless as you both are making her out to be,

it's calling her out on it and watching her change her behavior. Yeah. Sometimes people like this, like you call them out and their behavior probably won't change. and you either have to accept it and just know that this is who it is who they are you'll keep calling especially when they're at this big age you'll call them out when they say something offensive and then you either have to uh internalize it or you just move past it depending on what kind of relationship you want with them so i don't think there's going to be any changing her somebody that's setting their ways like this i don't think there's any changing i don't know

because i mean i my inclining is yes that like that if some of these things that like i don't know i think that like people do like you know older people it was a different generation they say crazy stuff all the time and like i know people in their 60s who are horrible people and like say horrible things and i know people in their 60s who are like wonderful people and say like wonderful great things and that is not uh determined by their age it's like it's mostly who you are but like if you are all saying that like she feels like genuinely so bad i'm not saying it's because of her age that she's the way she is i'm saying that she's set in her ways that she may not change but if she says that when they point it out she feels like horrible and like is

like oh i so didn't really like when it's like hold on the times my boyfriend has pushed back against her comments laura has gotten genuinely upset at herself and having seen that i truly believe she's just ignorant about this stuff so like i don't know i think like i agree though in the sense that like i don't think that you can in any situation for someone to like improve or to teach them and like have it be an educational moment like that's her that's laura's choice like she has that choice but i think like i personally if it was me and this stuff happens like i've been in situations where people have said something that i in the moment you pick and shoes of like is this something that I am comfortable kind of like letting slide and like

not because like it aligns with me like ethically or morally but because like this comment did damage to me but it will do more damage to me to fight for this because like sometimes like I think about that a lot when like people say like ableist stuff sometimes where I'm just like I can read between the lines when I keep hearing you like don't like that like care or value other people's lives I don't need to push you on that because I don't need to hear you say that in another form like it just hurts too much like I don't want more of that but then there are other things where if it's like a quick thing that I feel like oh hey like you know but I think there's a way to kind of like go about and do that but like if she's gonna be like so brazen to like

talk on your tattoos or your piercings to the ant while you're in the room just like I would just be like Laura next Laura you're not tying your you're not tying or it's her aunt or your her sister like Laura you didn't tell your sister that you asked me next week we can go get your nipples pierced like come on like I don't think she's playing with fire I think if you want to play if she wants to play like the ignorance card I think for me that what I would dish back is kind of like sarcasm humor and like funniness in there because if you truly think that I don't know when someone is being intentionally ignorant i kind of tend to like pointing it out pretending that they're joking and i'm joking along because then the alternative is like oh are you going to double

down on what you said or are you also agreeing that like oh we're all just having fun here like then i'm having fun too but i think when it comes to like the weight and health one that one's really that one's really really hard because that i will say is like not just even like a generational thing like that's just a lot of people's belief system and like narrative around like fatness and i think that i obviously i'm like i'm i'm a thin person so i can't like speak from the community aspect of that but i would say in those instances i think that like you and your boyfriend just need a game plan because it is his mom so the same way that i said i don't want to like argue with people about ableism to like tell them that they should care about like

my life when it is coming from his mom that fat phobia might be like especially hurtful to him but that's for you and him to kind of have a conversation to talk about where you might feel more comfortable pushing back against those comments he might not and so i think you both just need to be on the same page when it's things that apply to both of you because i think that you have every right to push back on things that are just about you and but when it comes to things that affect him as well if you push her and she continues to say more hurtful things that's just like more bullets more ammo and it tends to be easier for the person who's not related like you can kind of brush it off like fuck her who cares there's like a deeper relationship there with him

and her but yeah I I think that the best way to go about these things always is like just course correction like in the moments if she says something like i can't believe like you're like i'm so glad you have like i'm so glad you don't have tattoos i'd be like why you don't you don't like tattoos like what what so what's your belief system about tattoos like i think sometimes just not letting those comments slide and asking someone to explain what they mean or asking them to kind of defend their stance you have to just make the conscious choice in what topics are you comfortable uh with that and like if that's not something you're not comfortable hearing her if like religion is like a soft spot for you that you don't feel comfortable kind of defending your

own religion especially when it comes to like being pro-choice then draw the line there like ignore those comments but i don't think that the answer is that you have to ignore absolutely everything because these things seem to like be affecting you and the in that moment even if you can't change her mind sometimes just standing up for yourself in doesn't have to be combative but just in like an asking what she means or being like oh i don't agree with that that can sometimes satiate it enough it doesn't always have to be like a huge fight or you completely ignore it like i think there's like a middle ground yeah i'll add in with the religious aspect and i've talked about it before i you know consider myself a christian i don't really go to church because i

think there's a lot of hypocrites in church and i think people for me they go because of the show and not because of their actual relationship with god and so maybe you say you you consider yourself catholic but you don't go to mass because you know you don't want to go to mass but you still have those beliefs um so maybe just say that you know my relationship with God or whatever is my relationship with God. It's not about other people. Also, if you want to be historically correct, most Christian organizations were pro-choice until recently when the evangelicals came along and decided that they want to control bodies. So that's not even, and because this woman, his mom doesn't even know that much about Catholicism as it is, you know,

I think knowing who you are and what you stand for and why you stand for those things is important when you're combating people that have different beliefs or have a certain view on what you believe, even if it's not their own. It's not how you personally believe. So like having reasons for why you believe what you believe also is a way to share a part of you and educate her as well. Just knowing who you are helps with that, too. no i i agree with that like i think all of these conversations with her i don't think you if you let them die at these just comments of hers you were like missing out on these conversations because like the same way that you can ask her to further explain she can ask you those same questions and like you can both learn more about each other but yeah also can we just say that you

went to spend a week with her and you've been dating for six months that's pretty big that is really like that's a lot and i that all things considering like i i don't want to say that this might be intentional but this also could be her trying to kind of assert her power and dominance because she like you know what i mean like it's pretty early on into a relationship where he's inviting you to come spend time with her and it shows that you're a very important part of his life and you've only been there for six months so she might be also her personality might be on like level 11 at this point like just for show yeah or one of those people just that just likes to question everything regardless yeah just because they find amusement in it or they actually

might genuinely want to know things and they just question everything but i find those type of people quite annoying because i get exhausted explaining myself all the time i would rather live in an echo chamber i hate contrarians like i hate people who are just like i like to argue for the sake i just have like a fun just like lively argument i want to argue with strangers online i want to yell at strangers online i do not want to like argue over like stupid shit with my friends no i agree well best of luck would love an update like in like i don't know six months to like see where your relationship's at and if like your relationship with her has changed or anything it could be less than six months but you know please okay all right next call hi megan

melissa i am 18 she her and am and am a predicament i'm going to start with some backstory here quick um leila she her 18 was my best friend all throughout childhood and who is who the stories made me about she had a boyfriend for five months and we can call him max he had 19 and they had broken up two years before this current situation two years ago in february my boyfriend of three years at the time had passed away during this time Layla and Max were in the middle of a breakup and broke up in May Max was still in our friend group and I ended up being able to coexist peacefully in this group he had reached out to me a year after the breakup and we had already trauma bonded in a way when my boyfriend had passed away since everything has happened I have separated myself

from my friend group and Layla because they are all very toxic me and Max reconnected during last year and hung out once for lunch it was nothing sexual and was just friendly Layla had found out at the time and we got in a fight she called me a few days after it happened screaming at me that I had no morals or boundaries and she couldn't believe I slept with her ex-boyfriend I explained to her that we didn't but she still went on she told me how she always knew I liked him even when I was dating my boyfriend who had passed and while I was going through all of that and that she was always right and knew i was a horrible friend after she said all this i told her that nothing like this happened and i would never do such a thing but if she wanted to believe it then so be

it we weren't friends anymore and i honestly do not want to go through unnecessary drama it has been a year and i now have began dating this wonderful guy a month ago leila reached out to my now boyfriend and will call him jack 18 see him saying how horrible person i am etc um when Jack showed me these texts, I explained to him the situation, and he didn't respond to Layla. She has now reached out to me a few times, saying her and Max are apparently back together, asking to be friends, and trying to invite herself to my family gathering. I talked to her politely about how I do not want to be her friend, and I haven't been for so long. Jack ended up blocking her because she would repeatedly text him horrible things about me.

She recently blocked my number and Snapchat because I declined an invite to her grandma's birthday party, but now will text me on messenger or instagram every once in a while trying to hang out i rarely answer her but she continues to try to text jack on her friend's phone etc when he blocks her on other social medias i have never been more confused and i just need advice on how to handle this i'm worried you may start affecting my relationship and i would just like this toxicity to be done i am not sensitive to advice so whatever you need to say please say thank you the fuck what is wrong with this girl does leila don't have like college apps to do like what i mean i don't think this would affect your relationship at all like i no i don't i don't

i don't think so like this is super weird sadly when it comes to like friend drama or toxicity like it doesn't take two to tango like it you don't need two active participants in it like it can literally just be one person just like starting shit and fueling shit and nobody else engaging and it doesn't mean that that shit's gonna go away so i think that like i mean i think you're both kind of doing the best thing and like i think you just i think if you just block her on everything both you and him everywhere like you've made your point clear you don't want to be friends anymore and eventually she will either like drive herself crazy with like keeping to do this like so much that like she will eventually get tired of it or the lack of response will make her move

on from it like she's not being consistent at all and i think even if she was consistent or she was sincere and like wanting to be friends i think it's very valid that you don't want to be but blocking works like but she's didn't you say that she's been reaching out on other people's accounts or stuff like that eventually or making new accounts or whatever eventually she's gonna run out of people yeah but why does she have so much energy someone get this girl into kickboxing like someone get her into mathletes like she someone get her some someone take her to psychiatrist and see if she has adhd maybe she's just like trying to like this was like i mean i wasn't like this in high school but like i how did i have the time to do anything and i'm like oh i

was unmedicated and i wasn't doing the things i needed to do so yeah this is a lot but i think you're right though that like eventually she will run out of people and like i think you literally block her on social media but then you also block in conversations with other friends where you're like hey i'm cutting her out of my life i've been trying to do that like if you talk to her or she like asks about me or anything like i don't want to hear about it so like please don't talk to me about her and you just cut off all sources that could get to you that she could get to you through other people not you don't cut out those other people but you tell those other people what your your boundaries are and i think in turn to probably end up pushing all of those other

people like your mutual friends away as well i guess i kind of this isn't advice for you at all this is just me questioning did max like actually cheat on her at some point and now she's just angry about it and taking it out on you because you were her friend oh why did she think that did he say that oh that's a good point see yeah then there's the nosy i'm because we're not in it but the nosy side of me is i'm like i kind of want to hear what happened i kind of want to know like what is the reason like i feel like there's always a why for something like you don't just come to this conclusion on your own where did it come from like what was this catalyst it doesn't seem like you want to know i personally i want to know and i don't think i don't think that like if i was

maybe if i was in a situation i want to know why this person but i'm quick to block someone sometimes you know what i don't block as a petty move it's a power move and i just let them send messages and just let themselves spiral and then i have receipts of them are spiraling so that i it's always there in case somebody you know questions or she goes and lies to someone about what's actually happening and then i have all the receipts of what's going on so you know yeah why why i think the only way that this could ruin your relationship is if this drama not her but if this drama becomes like a third the third in your relationship and that would be that it's coming from you not coming from her messages that she's sending like i'm sorry if he breaks up with

you because like your ex-friend who's like spread these nasty rumors about you is like harassing him and he would then dump you like that just like means he's a piece of shit like that has nothing to do with you but i the only way i could see this affecting your relationship relationship negatively is if this is an all-consuming thing for you that like when you're you're two hanging out just you together like this is all you talk about this is all you think about and that's why i think like if you can fully disengage from like every aspect of contact with her and adjacent to her in every kind of aspect so you're not thinking about it you're not trying to fix this problem like she is a problem and she will exist in her corner being a problem and it's not your problem

and yeah because i i don't think that any good guy would like break up with you because like you have a shitty ex friend who's like obsessed with you yeah truly truly obsessed with you she'll get tired eventually i hope then she'll take a break and then pop up three years later and send you a creepy voice now sounds kind of familiar i don't know deja vu or something i don't know i don't know just spitballing yeah wishing you the best of luck i really hope that leila goes to college so far away so far away now it's time for don't blame them which is where a listener calls in and gives their own advice pertaining to a call we had on a previous episode so maybe they have personal experience

or they just have some insight that we didn't touch on on the call or just they want to share their own thoughts on it here we go i'm megan and melissa and all the other callers i'm calling for a don't blame me on the recent the most recent episode about the caller who was talking about the spark in a relationship so i recently got out of a long a four-year relationship four and a half year relationship with my ex and it was a very toxic relationship we had um a lot of issues and a lot of trauma vomiting mostly and as I was getting back out there I was really going on the dating app and stuff and I went on a couple dates and I tend to gravitate towards the people who I felt that

quote-unquote like this um talking to my therapist she rebranded it as intensity and that intensity comes when you're feeling comfortability because I was so out of my comfort zone that I felt like I wanted to gravitate more towards things that were comfortable to me and things that were comfortable to me were men who didn't have their shit together and who I could fit and I would get that intensity and that force with them because I wanted to be fast to that comfortable place now thinking to my current relationship I did not similar to Moss and Megan um well first of all I'm a Leo and he's a Capricorn but I had no desire to meet this guy because he was just so emotionally that was the first thing I was like he's boring like I have no feelings towards him because like

he just seems so boring and so mentally healthy I ended up meeting him and after a while I was like oh like yeah we're getting along great having a great conversation and as that went on I felt like I kind of got like a real start so I go genuinely like like almost like this could be something very very good and very healthy like and since then I've been a complete it's a completely different feeling than I have had in the past with my unhealthy relationship now it's like I feel almost like a possible like it's a completely different feeling like a possibility for something bigger and something not as much like an end-all be-all type of thing but like almost like a comforting feeling in a way where it's like a calm not like a oh my god

like this guy could be it oh my god i'm freaking out like almost just like a calm like you know what what will be will be and a contentment so yeah good luck to you and just keep that in mind love you guys bye good it was wonderful uh you're definitely on a hike we originally thought stair master but yeah i don't know i kind of think um taking groceries in and out the house that was like literally my first instinct was like something with groceries but then the like i could just maybe you have stairs maybe that's what it is like i could hear you i could just hear in the uh in the in the movie world we call it efforts and that's not a knock i know it sounds like it is and i've always thought that it sounds insulting but like in adr when you're doing

something like you're like shutting a door or anything just little noises you make like those are called efforts and I could hear your efforts and those to me sound like stair efforts I thought maybe she was climbing the Culver City stairs oh gosh did I tell you about the time I went to the Culver City stairs the last time I went no I don't know shortly before the pandemic me and jean-claude went and he is very much taller than me you don't say yeah big mistake and for y'all that don't know this culver city stairs are these very steep stairs that you climb up for exercise i guess i don't even know what's at the top because after i did two of the separate what would you call that flights two separate flights i stopped like my heart was racing

so much i could not breathe and i saw this little kid just like maybe eight just like sprinting up i was like this is how i know i have a lung condition like i already know but like i couldn't breathe and then and i just had to stop it also there when i say they're steep i just want just to paint the picture that like the stair above the one you would currently be on is probably at the height of your hip like that's how like unless you have long legs like you're climbing like you're literally climbing like you would wreck your legs like so quickly yeah by the time i caught my breath he had already gone all the way up to the top and come back down and then i was ready to walk with him couldn't be me the last time i went to the culver city

stairs i think it was when i went to the culver city stairs or where maybe i was somewhere else yeah but it was when i had i popped the what i thought was a zit in my arm turns out it was a cyst then it got into my blood and then i'd take all the antibiotics i wouldn't get sepsis and then i took the too strong of monostatin so then i had an allergic reaction and my vagina looked like a puffer fish and i remember it was like a hike and i was like i'm unhappy yeah and my vagina is looks like hitch it looked like literally hitch oh anyways well we hope you all enjoyed this episode if you liked it we would love if you left a review makes us very happy should we read a recent one sure 10 out of 10 recommend five stars and this is from e clip

12 this week's episode was so good long time listener here and recommend this podcast to all my clients in my chair as a hairstylist that's the best the best person to spread information is a hairstylist because they talk to people all day long basically like a shoulder to lean on and uh advice really means something coming from a hairstylist oh my hairstylist shaley she knew she's my longest relationship like i i like she was the first person i ever told that like i thought i had a crush on mods and she like i was like talking on him and i was like i think i have a crush on him she goes babe like i know like we've got a crush like we've got a crush on him like he's so and like that's just like how it goes and it's so funny because she always gives

me podcast recommendations like she is like loves podcasts is always giving great recs and so i think hairstylists i don't know maybe it's just in my small pool but every hairstylist i know loves podcasts and also like yeah the trope of hairstylist gives great advice there to hear through everything and so i'm like wow this is the greatest compliment like hairstylist when hairstylists and therapists i'm like wow we've made it where's our spotify deal where's the check i'm waiting i'm waiting well that is it we hope you all enjoyed well like i said earlier in the episode head on over to our instagram make sure you follow our instagram but comment on the latest instagram some ics some ics that men do specifically men icky men well don't

comment icky men because i guess there's only 10 000 army hammer comments but just like comment except men can do yeah and that's it thank you we'll see you next time goodbye goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond imprint productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry production assistance by melanie d watson music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso Thank you.