Don't Blame Me! - Have You Ever Been Probed by an Alien?

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Welcome to See You Next Tuesday. Will this always come out on Tuesday? Maybe? Don't hold us to it. In this episode we talk about: Dry butt cracks, our famous Sorority Sisters, Buy a new car, Abercrombie, and Getting stood up And what we're watching: Formula 1: Drive to Survive, Game of Thrones, The Duff, She Hulk: Attorney at Law, Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul, Wanda Vision, Luther, and of course, Modern Family. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

surprise but maybe that's what it's called surprise bitches surprise surprise if it's every week though i guess this one will be surprise bitches no wait is this tuesday because that one's already it's we're gonna have it come out but what okay so we recorded one last week that i already edited but i didn't know when it was gonna come out so we're filming the intro to that now we're familiar no we already did it last week okay so this is the one that for this week oh okay okay and we can't call this one surprise which is too it can still be surprised which is surprise bitches last week you got it on tuesday on wednesday today you're getting it on tuesday haha another fantastic amazing extra episode for you because guess who talked too long

you oh wow i thought you were gonna like join in with me even though we both know it is me but sure no no i asked you questions to get you going she probed me um you might call me melissa diamond oprah montz prober prober at law i love the word probe it's so funny to say probe have you do you think that you've ever been probed before do i not know what that means like in like in the sense of like an alien has come to you in the nighttime and probed you no i think i have i think you have to i think there's a reason why you're like this i think it's alien semen i think that's i've woken up and been like i don't know why my butthole works today my butt is tingling yeah and there's this green goo coming wonder why

i didn't sleep so well last night don't say that because i have not been sleeping on it but you haven't even i'm telling you like when you you know you haven't slept at all but i've like gone to sleep for eight hours and woken up that happens to me too you got how's your butthole raspy it's just think about like what raspy would mean for a butthole that's chapped parched a lifetime smoker my asshole just chain smoking chafed if you will oh ouch ouch ouch ouch anyways um we have been trying to find some names for this new tuesday episode and while we might be like completely delirious and just out of our time is it 7 20 p.m yeah i'm struggling um we might be like not in the right headspace because the name that we both

thought of was see you next tuesday right it's on tuesday yeah not cunts why not cunty cunty cunty cunty cunty you haven't even listened to beyonce's album yet so you can't first of all i've listened to about 35 seconds of each song okay i need to listen to all of them yeah but until i know the words i can't listen while i drive because then i zone out and then i driving is like a video game and i have to win because it's not a video game it's like frogger real life it's real life frogger is i do okay stresses me out here's the thing video games stress me out but driving feels like a video game so that's how you know what's happening in my brain um but if anyone has the other suggestions let us know comment on the last instagram post if you want send us a message

reminder you need some posts for monday's episode i'm gonna need that reminder in a form of a text yeah yeah yeah for sure um so we are happy to be bringing you more content because we are just we're just like that clingy boyfriend or girlfriend or partner who's just like like seeping into your life that they're just oh my god you're here all the time or seeping out of your butthole yeah like aliens alien you think alien juice is green right they're blue are aliens blue too why who came up with aliens being we had this conversation years ago i don't remember anything i know you don't remember anything but i'm just like you know we had this conversation probably like three years ago oh right i'm so glad it was

pre pre-pandy oh i don't know a time before the pandy the pandemonium has taken over my life um so you're welcome everyone we are slowly becoming like hoda and kathy lee and we're gonna be here every morning for you yeah we haven't come up with something for wednesday yet but yeah one day one day we said at one point we're gonna do movie reviews from our childhood but so much work so much work this is the equal amount of work that we're already doing because it's just from the episodes i just don't know as an adult if i want homework yeah i understand that you know yeah because like the second that i i can want to do something i'm like oh i really want ice cream it sounds you have to have ice cream i don't want ice cream now fuck off you

know yeah so we can't wait um actually we can neither can where are you going i don't know what happened y'all can't see her but she just said something and then made some motions towards her head and then just lost it i don't know the train cans were trying to rewind what i said but oh that's that's what my i do all the time where i'm like what am i and then i'm like what was i saying i'm like rewind and then it doesn't work like that and so then i'm just i'm left with my hands up looking to people it's like it looks like the train just completely went off the track if there was a train and there were tracks train of thought no i yeah it's just it's dead space in there but if there was a train with thoughts

they would be in completely opposite direction maybe it's the polar express it's a chaotic train slipping and sliding on the ice never seen it and there's a ghost man i'm so scared for me tom hanks looks too scary and that's i couldn't do it i mean it is that perfect style of animation that is i think it looks like if animation and claymation had a baby and claymation is what nightmares are made i love me some gumby though there i i get bad vibes from claymation no matter what you're making there's something sinister and i think something bad's gonna happen well those are your thoughts have you seen coralline no i feel like it's one of your favorite movies you didn't you see it in the theaters high yeah it was a mistake yeah and

ever since i heard you say that i have no interest in it that was but that was my bad it's a great movie it's really fucking trippy that movie was a big mistake seeing high um movie i'm sad i didn't see high the new wrinkle in time would it have scared the shit out of me yes but i feel like it would have been worth it i don't know if mama oprah would approve you know that is really what i thought i was like i just like feel like it's disrespectful to get high to see a movie that oprah's in like yeah it's just disrespectful i am directed directed by ava duvernay did you know she's an aka i don't think i ever told you that one shocked surprised can't believe it is there anyone who would actually surprise me like a state with stacy dash like an aka

god no that's what i'm saying like do you have like any like one that you're like oh gosh i don't think so let me let me let me let me look because as a sister of kappa kappa gamma i'm sure i could find some old tweets of lots of notable um or even just their current stances jada pinkett i mean i like her i love her star jones the original influencer shut up oh wow wanda sykes might be one that's a shocker no because she's an icon she's an icon but it just might for me it's like if someone is an icon and i love them regardless if they like if they're two people like i can't see them being in the same world the only requirements feels like megan loves them and they're like i'm like that's like i feel like that's how good they are yeah i don't think i

don't think there's any it's very exclusive so i don't think there would be any major shockers i don't think so either i'm just gonna scroll down to the um political figures for kappa kappa gammas mariska harkity that's a good one you know what the best one is though my sister separated at birth megan merkel megan merkel i already knew that can't wait till i'm on like the list of famous ones you will be yeah do you know rosa parks was on that is almost comical like you could literally have like ted bundy and then it'd be like it's still even out and you'd be fine you're kidding no stacked um one of your childhood someone you might know who wife of sam walton co-founder of walmart was a gappa

also the co-founder of the u.s communist party yikes and did i tell you that brandy was an aka yeah okay just making sure i mean jack harlow would probably be a cap oh i found some republicans shelly moore competed oh yeah oh i know a shocking one eleanor roosevelt i think if i could bring back anyone dead or alive i would want to go to an alum event with all the ghosts yeah that's first of all you could have an oscars you could have a gram like you can have all of you can have all at once you can make your own coachella your own festival vice president like we've got politics online you can pass laws and and shake your ass yeah wow um yeah you you yeah you know you don't stop winning and then there's like random

influencers we'll find online you're like sister yeah i felt a connection i saw it do you don't see the resemblance this is she's she's got my mother's eyes ethel's eyes who'd say ethel hedgeman lyle founder i don't know our founder but it's probably something like martha or susan boyle no that's from britain's got talent right i wonder what she's doing okay let's get into something we already recorded good call good call good call my brain is not firing what's firing on all cylinders mean uh i believe firing on all cylinders is actually a race car term but then people have adapted it to mean their brain as well i may be wrong but i believe that's what i i'm not gonna google it i'm just gonna take your word

for it race cars i'll ask monts he watches that formula one show that shows fucking good that's what i hear everybody that watches is like you have to watch dude but like someone died i know and i was like passively like i always passively watched it and then he like put it on and i was like hold up i'm like doing something on my phone and i realized like did that dude just die much like yeah and i was like whoa whoa and they just put it in the show like it's so fucking and he must like it happens and i was like okay i did not know that i was signing up for like real death and destruction like i thought this was just like fast cars people don't even really die in fast and the furious and that's not real just sad maybe if i watched the whole show i would have actually

like known what the tone was gonna be but i really thought it was just like fast cars hot boys i also feel like that it was probably news before it was on the show too so people knew that makes a lot more sense because like that's insensitive oh you're right you are so very right because they televise it too it takes a while to yeah they tell first of all it's televised and then second it takes a while for a reality me clutching my pearls shocked and horrid that i'm watching a streaming show that came out years later and it was people that actually saw it more more wow yeah wow so sorry everybody i wonder how much of our audience actually watches that show honestly i feel like it's paramount okay i feel like because it is one of those ones that like there are some shows

that someone like a partner a family member a friend like put on and you're like by the descriptor that's not like totally my thing and that's like how love island was with moth he was just like and then he's like just watching background he goes this is fucking good that's how i feel about it the log line might not get you but you start watching it and you're like this is it's also expensive suspensive i love an expensive show that like looks like expensive and like sounds expensive and it's worth it there are other ones where i'm like you just threw money at this and like what you know there are just some where you know it's expensive based on who's in it and you're not seeing that money like i want to see the money on the screen not on your face

true you know yeah so should you watch any other good tv we started watching modern family again because i wanted like a light-hearted fun thing because i have not slept in days but we do want to start a cup we want to start the new game of thrones spinoff thing did you watch the original yeah oh does it seem like a show you watch it definitely like i was it definitely like i didn't watch it until like season like three or five or something okay i held off i heard people talk about the incest and dragons and i just watched one random episode and neither was in it so i was like oh yeah the first episode has a lot of dragons and then incest i could give you actually the first episode you you the pilot has incest and dragons so you done goof well we watched a

couple episodes of what was the show you rock what's it called grab shit yeah we watched a couple episodes of that and you're the whole format of it you're right like it is very like unique it took us a minute to get into and we were like we want to we watched like the first two episodes and then we took a break we're like i want to start over with it that's exactly what i did i watched a couple episodes and then i watched episode three and i was like okay i'm in yeah so that's what we watched and then oh i watched the duff very old not very old but like older um came out in the time that i've lived in la so that's how i came out probably 2016 maybe 2015 yeah loved it it was cute and now we have like a list of shows that we want to watch but

you know i need to be well rested before you take me on like an emotional or psychological journey here's a fun show to watch that i think you would enjoy she hope attorney at law i want to watch it first of all that filter but it is oh i look fucking good in this filter it's it's not tiktok of someone who is like this filter should be proof to men that we don't do anything for you every girl puts this filter on he's like i want to be green like i used to think that like when i put a face mask on i was like i look so pretty did you see speaking of modern family did you see hayley did you see sarah highland do it no big theater kid energy oh well yeah the wicked comes out that's what happened and then she sang oh okay and built it i didn't know she could sing

like that but yeah she was on she's i think she started broadway and like her parents are theater people yeah but big theater kid energy oh yeah i mean to be fair like i think people forget a lot and even i'm guilty of this but like almost every actor is just a theater kid like when people like oh my god they're so weird i'm like yeah they are fucking weird like that's the point but it is funny also i fucking love tatiana maslany like love her like i feel like that orphan black was like a masterclass for anyone yeah she's so good but like this is different and it's funny and yeah and they have after credits for every episode oh i love that and she breaks down has a whole theory about when captain america lost his virginity oh my god wait like the actress

does or in the show in the show oh wow because do you know how many times i've speculated that like i'm like you get an answer you finally get an answer because her and she breaks because bruce is her cousin okay cousin bruce i can't hear the name bruce like i will never think of bruce banner i will always think of bruce from finding nemo bruce never seen it so can't relate he's an australian shark so we had she hulk and then what else did i feel like i watched more things this weekend oh i watched uh honk for jesus which is interesting you heard of it no it's with regina hall national treasure oh yeah and sterling k brown which i did not know he was as buff as he is and there is a scene where he strips down and i'm like okay keep going yeah i'm just watching

just just yeah just enjoying yeah wow you can hear my thoughts about it on black man can't i was the special guest this week oh my god yeah look at you look at me being producer for two years and then moving to moving on sound familiar what are you talking about um i also realized for the finding us stands in here i my bruce impersonation was sounded like crush and i'm sorry bruce feels like oh fish are friends not food oh sorry that's crushed the turtle yeah see that's why i was confused i know because i've seen it not i haven't i've never seen the movie but i've seen the turtles say things and i was like that didn't seem like no no bruce is the big shark got it okay well now i need to i can need some more tv to watch what i need to watch

some of this tv i'm watch more television than that but i don't remember you know you you watch wandavision did you finally watch it yet i've watched it like an increment no start it over watch it from the beginning i'm i'm i've been like halfway through the last episode for about three weeks no but i like it but when she did her claire impression her clear claire oh my god i'm yes so good like so fucking good i wasn't expecting it and i thought i was like she's doing claire yeah like the whole show though is like i think of all of the like shows in like recent time like it's you can't really reinvent the wheel in television but like they actually did yeah like the last time i felt that was the good place okay that's the last time i felt like i was watching a

tv show and also how months felt too where like i didn't ruin a tv show by being like well this is obviously could happen like i love being like not tricked but seeing something new to the point where like i can like just escape into it and that's how i felt about wandavision yeah i absolutely loved it i like ruined something for monson at the end of the show luther we were watching but i don't even know what it was but i just said something and he goes just don't and i was like no i'm just saying it's kind of a wide shot for something like this and so like someone's gonna come from over there and then i think we're gonna get a next season he goes no i think this is like the end and this is like the happy ending i was like clearly not look how far left they are

don't you hate that when you you're watching something and you ruin it for yourself constantly a lot we watch only murders in the building and moths was like this person like this is the person who like did it this is them and i was like no and he's like why and i was like no like they're not sometimes also it's like I can tell who's going to have like done it or like be the thing that's like the big pinnacle of it based on how much acting experience that person has and if they're going to give that moment if the writers are going to give that moment to that actor and he was like no it's definitely gonna be this definitely gonna be this and I was like no that's what they want you to think and like they're just they're not going

to give that moment to this person and then they do like a fake out and so it looks like that i'm like i'm right i was like you're not right you're not right he's like i am like look say that i was right and then it turns out that that was a fake out i was like oh he's like you ruined it i was like i didn't ruin anything you thought you knew it and you were wrong hard because i am never wrong so he should probably figure that out did you do anything this weekend uh i didn't sleep oh i did do something this weekend i was i looked at cars because my lease is up yeah melissa if you're watching the video you should watch your face and because she has the right mentality as does mox as is everybody in my life being like bitch your lease is up in like two and a half weeks

and i'm counting down i see i have not so i finally looked at cars and i currently have a Jeep Wrangler and it's a lease the payment like it's i got like a custom like light interior because i can't have like black leather seats in la it's just so fucking hot and i also like added in some like other stuff so like it's a more expensive lease and i was like you know i want to get a cheaper lease i drove guess how many miles are on that car and to give you some thousand to give you some context i got it the week before no the day before we left it okay do you think 12 000 miles maybe 6 000 not even 3 000 miles got it in october of 2019 that actually makes sense i was calculating it i go there's no way and then i was like well i got my car in 2017 and i only have

30 000 so that makes sense to me when i think like when we went to the mountains for so long like i didn't drive for like a year didn't have glasses yet like i was like wow shit i was like i want to get like a cheaper lease but i do like being in a car that's like high up like i just i feel safer especially driving home at night like i just i like it more and i have a stigmatism so with the lights it's tend to be better to like be up and so i'm looking at cars that are kind of bigger not than the wrangler and i'm realizing that like that one is so much higher up than any other car and i was like oh okay when i tell you that i looked at kias that were then going because of the fucking car shortage and hyundais that were gonna cost me as much as my like souped up

jeep lease right now yeah if i wanted to get like a basic app ass jeep without any of the special like things on it it would be like 750 a month yep a mini cooper is 800 a month yep i know someone that had ordered a car before the pandemic like right before but it kept getting pushed back and pushed back because there were no parts for it and by the time like they were getting parts to actually make it it had gone up like 500 a month for the car yeah it's obscene like if you just canceled it because if you do the estimates on like i was looking at like a ford bronco if you do the estimates on it like online just in general they're like oh 350 bucks a month and then you go to like market value and it's like 785 because i've been wanting to get an suv i've said that

i wanted to get one for the last couple years and i haven't done it because the car prices are so high yeah so fingers crossed for me i have thankfully in my i'm very privileged to have business managers and so they have like a car broker person and then matz's family also owns a bunch of car dealerships in colorado so between them maybe i will find um yeah a car like that you're now going to be married to a car royalty then you should yeah but he's also having a hard time finding like a car we're not officially married yet and i'm just like just toss me the keys yeah toss me the keys but yeah it's just i also like got in like one of the guys like do you want to look at the kia soul they're very popular and i was like i want to see like the inside and

i got in and i was like i can't like this just feels like a clown car and then i'll give you everyone like a little sneak peek i want to do a tiktok i was telling mons i was he was asking he's like what's like the kia soul vibe i was like if you have a female kia soul like she is your kooky aunt like sharon who wears feather earrings and like bangles and it's just like oh my girly like okay like just but like smokes a lot of weed i was like if you have a male kia soul it is the best friend character in a rom-com that you like don't realize that you're in love with and then you're like oh my god actually like you are who it was all along and he's like you know short he's probably like five eight he's kind of stocky he doesn't want to get in fights he's

always rather like talk his way out of it but like he could hold his own he's not scrawny and mons was like what do you mean i was like like and not says like he i forget who he said that he would cast him as and i was like no no adam divine and months just burst out laughing because adam fine looks like a kia soul and i was like exactly that makes sense so i want to do a tiktok of celebrities as cars speaking of that's who i truly believe that hayley should have ended up with i forget that she didn't yeah because dylan just no no but dylan was a funny character he was but just no she was more herself with adam divine's character yeah but then they tried to make him kind of suck at the end yeah but that's because they were writing him off and they needed a reason

to write him off yeah i don't think they did that the comeback of dylan like i didn't think that storyline was pretty well like i thought they wrote off adam divine's character better than they wrote dylan back on you know yeah i fucking love that me too it's so good like it is so no we bring it up pretty much everything oh my god we're obsessed with modern it's so funny i have a jar it's in the living room that has my brother-in-law megan's husband one year for christmas like he makes really thoughtful christmas presents and it's just a jar of modern family quotes i that he wrote that piece of paper so sweet every time i watch it i'm just like reminded of like the two comedic geniuses of our generation that do not get enough credit

phil dunphy ty burrell and sofia vagara sofia vagara is so fucking funny i need her in like an action comedy franchise immediately yeah you know what i mean like in like how melissa mccarthy did one or like um uh a miscongeniality style yeah because like sandra bulk is also like funny fun i just think it's so good i would love it agree okay so what's the show oh this show is uh where we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice and you might be wondering how are these stunning gorgeous hotties qualified to give these two abracambi models you know that's a compliment now but like back in the day it'd be like oh jay that's still i think at the time it would have been a compliment but if like a few years after the downfall if you would have made

it then it wouldn't have been oh yeah yeah that's what i because it's like the in between the come back in yeah it's like when they were in their height and then it was like oh actually yeah you realize that they're just incredibly fat phobic and um all the guy who shoots all the stuff is just like a predator yeah but they're different now yeah we're with the new one no yeah and like i'm i'm into it like i i love i'm here for always an upgrade and a rebrand and change but i say that because we're both wearing apricot we are apricot denim i'm fucking here for it even though it's always sold out so not if you're short yeah they're tall the short ones because they have short and extra short and i'm in between so i can get must be nice for you they've got tall

and extra tall yeah and they're never around they're like i don't even think they make extra i think they just lie and they have it there to make us feel better have you ever stood up on a date no me neither okay so sorry we're really unrelatable no i just gonna say i was like this is i can imagine it probably feels a lot worse it's like a date yeah have you ever slept with one another take that back i don't want to ask you that question because i don't want you to ask me that question unless you have and then i mean i have but it's also like you know in the same way that i would stand up a friend in the way of like i'm tired i don't feel like going yeah you know yeah but i never like stood anyone up to the point of i didn't like go still go out with

them at some point i'm sure you have no i totally haven't yeah you have no i can think of two people off the top of my head but both of them just like gave me like a really weird vibes and i'm pretty sure i tried to get out of it and they were both like no no and so then like sure when push came to shove i technically they probably said i stood them up but i'm like i didn't want to go and i was like you tried to bring one guy like tried to like bring me like flowers and in that moment i was like i'm never dating someone who went to harvard ever again like it was just like he was just weird and so then my friends and i all decided that we were like it's the harvard yeah like it's the harvard making him like think that he can like just be like creepy and weird and entitled yeah

and like in a way that you don't have to have game personally i need you to have game but like as a society you don't have to have game like you can you know awkward people date awkward people um but like when your lack of game you just parlay that into like well no i don't need to have game because i went to harvard it's like oh no this isn't that you don't have it it's just that you think you're above it yeah you're above the proper not niceties but like etiquette that comes with dating and i'm not saying like you need to be like oh proper no no i just mean like the respect that goes into what a date should be and then it just becomes like oh well i'm showing up your house and i'm bringing you flowers and i'm like whoa that's too much and

it's like well i didn't ask you to be here no like you should never unless it's just someone that you know no i don't you should never just show up somebody's house no