Don't Blame Me! - Holding Grudges

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

For But Am I Wrong Melisa: Private accounts should be accessible to those they follow Meghan: Graveyards are a scam In But Am You Wrong: Family friend holding grudges about babysitting Friendship confrontations Telling your friend to dump their partner Moving in with boyfriend And in But Are They Wrong AKA "Rachel of The Week" they nominate: Melisa: Aubrey Drake Graham Meghan: Orbeez, Oculus Founder, and Rihanna Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: Vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelissa Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

you ruined everything you need to be closer to your mic you stupid bitch i didn't want to i didn't want to sing that directly in the mic serenade us you gotta caress the mic two hands you know who's where's that from crazy ex-girlfriend which maybe you should add that to your list of tv shows i never finished uh-huh yeah that had a great ending that last season was actually like a really good ending well i bet she's also showed up with the bible yes they did have all of it planned out i feel like i should clarify when we say bible not the holy bible correct that's the when you pitch a tv show you have something that's called the bible was it which is the word that the uh scripture yeah of the show actual script sure that the show kind of

lives by a lot of times if it's a great show that's well planned out then they will follow it but then sometimes they like for example crazy ex-girlfriend was only meant to last for four season and they wrote it for four seasons and we're done but sometimes shows get picked up for longer than they expect but again i always feel like there's better ways to do it i don't yeah i don't understand some of them that just have a really bad ending badly either like i think i think if you're gonna go through all the trouble to like write a show and like do like i would have okay this is how this is where the show ends if we get two seasons this is where the show's gonna end if we get four this is like this is this and this and then past the point like where there's

you like legitimately cannot come up with another thing like then that's where the show ends with the other ending you have yeah but like you know money talks and people like especially even you want to keep people employed you're like you know it's a good gig yeah they've done that Grey's Anatomy every season we're like this is the last one nope keep going and they're still I think because that show deals with a lot of real life issues like they they just did an issue on it a topic pregnancy that like I mean an episode on a topic pregnancy they keep like infusing things but like it's still the same show and then they bring cast in and out but still I mean it also has a procedural like like kind of base of like a medical show similar to a crime show that like

people always want to watch that though yeah it's not really procedural but i mean in the same like genre like so yeah but like medical shows and like crime shows and that stuff like there's always a demand for that on tv so they're always going to sell ad space for it so anyways hi welcome to another episode of but am i wrong starring two people who not once ever have been wrong nope we're in the guinness book of world records for having never been wrong it's our faces do you remember like growing up when like people would like did you ever have like organizations they're like we're gonna break this record to get in here and do something and i'm like why yeah me too because also like how many editions do they release every year at

this point don't you feel like they just update a website probs and that's like less cool true i'm not gonna print out the website pdf spiral notebook staple it together so on this podcast we talk about our own lives we have multiple segments we have but am i wrong where we pitch hot takes or situations in our life we're wondering are we in the wrong and then we have but are you wrong where you writers listeners well listeners you listen and then you write in your submissions of situations happening in your life and we will tell you if you are the hero or the villain in your story and then finally we have our wrong of the week aka but are they wrong rachel of the week where we nominate the piece of shit pieces of shit people person place or thing that um

wears the shit crown for the week or for eternity mine this week is for eternity yeah i i've got a couple options for my one this week i guess we should introduce ourselves what's your name my name is melissa d montz and i would like to apologize for the viewers of this that i did not look at you for the first three minutes i forgot that we were on camera i did not forget i'm i know i saw you do it to camera i saw you do it and then i was like oh yeah i need to look i was talking to mods oh i'm megan hi i was talking to mods yesterday about how i was like i would do so well on avid elementary solely for the fact that like i i mean i can i can be humble i can be self-deprecating but like i know when i'm good at something i'm very good at breaking

the fourth wall and like picking those moments and I'm sure they write them into the show but if they ever needed just you know improv like look to your camera when you when you have that feeling I'm good at that and I love that shit do do do do do so the best part about the show is you are involved as listeners because you get to vote on who you think was wrong in every situation so this episode this podcast comes out on Thursdays and then Fridays most likely is when the voting goes up on our instagram it's on our stories they're also immediately added to a highlight so if you don't see all of them there check the highlight and you can vote and then on tomorrow's episode called fisting friday we read the results from the previous week and sometimes

we'll like give updates of like the person who wrote in has given any more clarifying information or whatever we have all that stuff we do a video yeah look to the camera i had already said that i said to the viewers but if you would like to participate in the viewing then go to patreon.com slash don't blame me i believe whatever it's in the show notes and you can click and join us we also do live streams we take violins and cellos and we live stream us playing we also do live streams twice a month which we need to do this week um come chat with us come hang we're a lively group you can be in on the inside jokes that we have you know like they won't add us to their uh text message group so if you hear sirens in the background it's raining in la and people

don't know how to one know how to drive in the rain two a lot of people's tires are bald or three they haven't changed their windshield wipers in a while so for our roads aren't set up for rain rain so there's a lot of i would call them deeper than a puddle everywhere you go yes so hey there's that yeah all right should we get into our first segment let's do it all right well here's my but am i wrong it's a hot take okay it's not really that hot i actually brought it up to you before did i feel scalded no not at all you're like you're right that's usually how it goes with us here though yeah well i'm prepared for what you have to say yeah i don't know what melissa's gonna say for mine it's a really it's a lot okay but mine is that if you have a private

account account on social media and then follow somebody i think that they should be able to see your private account i wholeheartedly agree with that the reasoning is that one i i need to i want to know who's following me yeah oh and i also just set my tiktok to private i mean because i'm up for a job somewhere and i was like you don't want them to see these videos of you pretending to alluding that you're sucking someone's nipple uh-huh uh i think that was a smart business move As a girl boss? I think that was a good girl boss move. But, you know, if you're, I'm still going to be making videos.

So if you're in there, then you're still going to see them. But for the social media stuff, like, I think it's a safety issue. Because let's say that, you know, you might, as people that identify as women, you might have people that, you know, you're scared of that stalk you. You were telling a story about a stalker earlier, not your personal stalker, but just one that exists. And then they follow you from a private account and you don't know who it is or what they're doing. At least like if they have a fake account, then I can see that it's a fake account and can block them.

You know, like if it's an open fake account and I don't want people following me, I can block them. But like if it's a private account, I have no idea who this is, then no, like I don't like that. I don't like that at all. And it's like, why do you get the privilege of seeing my things, but I can't see yours? yeah i also think that like i mean i've got feelings about underage people online in general but i think like young people make up a huge majority of users on social media and they want that they want that i'm like you need to keep kids safe by having that so people can see what who's following them there and i also saw a tiktok from i actually don't know who it was i think it was just like a random tiktok i don't think it was someone i knew and they were saying that

instagram and tiktok and social media platforms should implement what reddit does where you see comment history and so you can see a pattern of behavior too because like a it will help with like just the person on if you're if you're on the other side of like someone bullying you online you take it really personally which makes sense you realize like oh they just hate these people over and over again or if someone makes like in a like a slightly inappropriate comment and you're like i don't know how i should take this i don't know if i'm overreacting which you never are but you can see how they contribute to this behavior in the past yeah yeah there's on reddit there was this person that was pretending to be black and i i knew that they weren't like just by the things

that they were saying i was like this is not a black person they were making like comments so was like there's no way this person is black and they but they were saying that they were and there's somebody else in the group that I knew from how the way they were saying things I knew that they were black and so I asked them I was like do you think this person is black and they're like I wouldn't be surprised if they're not and so then I looked through their comment history and I was like nope they're definitely not and then I got them banned so yeah so I agree I agree there was I would that made me think of um there was like this twitter thing when was this like what year it was i don't remember but it was i don't know what ever came

out of it between dean browning patty labelle and then alleged dan purdy so he's responding i'm a gay black guy who doesn't like the way black women are treating this country everybody was like no you're not and then i think people exposed that it was not like it was like a whole thing and then constantly you have those yeah tweets oh yeah this one oh this one is oh no dean browning he tweeted it from his oh yes yeah it was a politician yes i remember this he meant to tweet it from his like burner account but he tweeted from his like verified white man politician account i'm a gay black guy and i can personally say that obama did nothing for me my life only changed a little bit and it was worse everything is so much better

under trump i feel respected which i never do when democrats are involved it's just like okay no i do remember that nope but you are not wrong at all thank you that's like stalking like all of that stuff like it's just i feel like it's a safety issue and even if you think about it from like the opposite end of it people can get into these like negative like black holes of consuming content from people that they hate or just like participating in like hateful behavior and the more hateful that you are the more that like you just have like a negative outlook on like everything and i think it would help the people as well like if you don't get sucked into that and you like you know start fostering relationships outside finding things that you

enjoy like the the feeling of being able to be anonymous and say whatever you want that's kind like a drug to some people it is and it leads to like more extremist views or even if it's not like alt-right extremism like it it leads to just more hatred and self-hatred and like sadness that like yeah doesn't help your mental health either because you can be anonymous and not have any repercussions which you can also do like you can make a fake account but then people know it's fake you know yeah yeah but as long as a real person it's different i agree with you thank you i had a random i don't know who this person is there's not a private account but they don't have they have like two pictures but they commented on something they were like that i posted and was

like sorry i haven't hey fam sorry i haven't been keeping up with y'all and i was like i don't know who the you are who are you fam who's fam right send me the family tree are we talking which my family fam which they were saying it like family fam and i was like i know my family tree is wide but like if i've never talked to you then we don't need to talk we don't need to reconnect if we never connected in the first place okay i'm nervous for mine okay here we go buckle up so i want to give a disclaimer i'm coming at this as from an atheist perspective and i respect other people's religions when it comes to how they carry themselves their own moral code and everything like that that's totally fine like go for it and i don't want to sound this

to sound like callous or whatever i this is not a i don't need this to be like an entryway for an educational thing of like well in my religion this is why we do x y and z like i know that for various religions like this is used and is important for all of those things but like what i'm saying is not religious related so okay but i know this is tied heavily to religion so like i don't mean any disrespect to people's religions and like your practices and your culture this is an atheist perspective and this isn't something that is reserved for people who are religious you know what i mean it's just you experience it potentially differently so my hot take is graveyards are a scam point blank there's not enough room i have thought about this

i've brought it up to you all the time like i drive by graveyards or i went to like the um hollywood forever cemetery to go see a movie and i just seeing these graves like essentially like they're stacked on top of each other like crowded teeth that have not yet had braces like it's just overwhelming and it's alarming when you see that but factually geographically there's not enough space we're running out of space we've been running out of space for so fucking long they just build them on top of each other and so according to research published in early 2021 this was in the uk i'm pretty sure that the cemeteries will be in full capacity in 10 years and one in six cemeteries will be full within five years there's a housing shortage for

living people we all know that and in some places families have to lease graves so it's not a one time fee in a lot of places like you're having to upkeep a fee and then paying that whether that's monthly or yearly to keep bodies in a location where we don't even have enough space for living people they also change the soil composition and they prevent developments from occurring so the catacombs in paris are one of like the most famous examples of that more than six million people are buried under the paris streets and then the buildings that are on top of that can't be tall because of the weight that it's essentially just hollow underneath and the idea of being able to bury bodies underground and then build things on top of it versus gravestones that are above ground

and being buried below ground there like that's not a solution like we thought that was going to be a solution and that's also not working in itself and in-ground casket burials are super bad for the environment each year burials in the united states use 30 million board feet of wood more than 104 000 tons of steel 6 1.6 million tons of concrete for burial structures and 800,000 gallons of embalming fluid, which was all according to the Berkeley Planning Journal. And the wood alone could build 4.5 million homes. We've seen the prices of wood at Lowe's.

Yeah. Especially now the increase of all of that. So embalming fluid is highly toxic and it can leach into the soil as well as the air. Formaldehyde is a group one carcinogen. And when a cemetery doesn't have good waste management, that can just make it riddled with pollutants and that those bacterial pathogens then get into the groundwater and then can also affect not just the groundwater at the graveyards and visitors who

come by but people who live near graveyards and one study tested boreholes and surface water in cemeteries and found antibiotic resistant e coli because they just you have animals there who then will drink said water but when you have decomposing bodies then riddled with bacteria we don't have the science and research and study behind it to create antibiotics for these things because they're not happening to living people but then we're infecting living people so to be fair cremation is also not super great for the environment because when you burn things uh It fires a pollutant to the air. But in my personal opinion,

I think if we're just talking about those two options, cremation, the pros outweigh the cons. But there are also, we'll get to the end where I have lots of other better solutions. Which one of them that you probably will get to, I have already told my sister, this is what I want to happen to be. I could tell you which one it's going to be.

Okay. Upkeep bills are also like incredibly high. That's always what I've wondered of like, how the fuck do graveyards make money? and also like cover the cost of things because it's, you know, seemingly a one-time fee. But the bills are just so fucking high, especially for water.

Like the watering of the keeping the grass green, it's like it's worse than golf courses. Like you have so much of this to be like lush and beautiful. But burials are also really fucking expensive. The average casket costs $2,000 and gravestones can cost up to $10,000. Then most cemeteries also charge a maintenance fee to cover the upkeep of graves,

but then also just the grounds as a whole. And sometimes it's a one-time fee. Other times the cemeteries will bill families annually, but eventually they run out of space. It's inevitable. There are graveyards that are full. They don't have space anymore. But then what happens there is they just get overgrown

and there's no maintenance because cemeteries are expected to maintain the grounds for eternity from the fees that they either collect one time when people are buying a burial plot or the sum that charge an annual fee. There's not enough, especially when the rest of family members pass on. There isn't enough money to actually upkeep these. And my thought is if it's about respecting the dead, if there are no funds to maintain the grounds, is that actually respectable? Like we have this idea of laying someone to rest in this

beautiful place, but we can't pay for that. And you can't pay for that for eternity. And you also can't even guarantee after you've passed on that your children will continue to do all of this like it is it's a wonderful thing that i think comforts people in the moment but if you look at it bigger picture it's just a really poorly thought out scam and we've attached a monetary value to mourning and it preys on people who are grieving the costs are immense and unattainable for so many people yet societally we've made graves represent how much a deceased one is like loved or missed. You see these like huge, massive ones or families will be like, oh, we have a whole plot for our whole family here. But like I remember as a kid going to like visit a family member at a

graveyard and feeling kind of weird that it was just like a small little plaque on the ground. And then seeing these ones are like so elaborate and like big and feeling like, oh, even in death, there's competition. Like even in death, like it's we're valuing who has money more than other people. Like capitalism doesn't die just because you die. And I think that's just like such a fucked up weird thing. There are so many eco-friendly options. So recycling graves where you are just there for a period of time. So in Germany and Spain, you rent an above ground crypt until the body naturally decomposes. And then the remains are put in a communal grave. And there's also chemical and casket free burials, green cremation, or you could be launched into space.

is that what you want what do you want because i think being launched in the space is also i have problems with that there's this company called recompose where they take your body and they turn it back into natural organic material and then like you can use it to plant things and stuff yeah so that's what you can do wheat they've ones that are specific like for weed others that are just like marijuana that's specific weed ones but um and then i want everyone that has ever love me to get a little baggie and then go plant something with it yeah like that's what i want and i think that like we do that with like when pets pass and animals pass like people will be like also enemies too i want my enemies to get some of it as well do you want them to know that

it is or do you want to do you want other people do you want do you want other people to know that i've showed up and then like what are they going to do it's dirt like even if they throw it away like it's still going to go to good use you know what you should do though for your enemies it should be like one of those glitter bombs where they open it and then it's like that's a little mean well okay you said there's one there's one person that that can go to your arch nemesis and then then everybody else they just get it they get a plastic bag yeah well it won't be plastic though it'll be a little they'll get a biodegradable bag yes and it should happen it should be like if you don't do anything with it it will like just still plant itself yeah that's what i'm saying

like it's dirt like what you throw it away it's still gonna yeah maybe put maybe put a little some little sunflower seeds in it like yeah i'm in that include some sunflower seeds they try and flush it down like their toilet suddenly there's a sunflower growing on the toilet bitch you thought you could flush me away yeah i'm here light light pranking yeah on the way out as you should so we need to deal with the problem now instead of pushing it off to other generations because we can't avoid the inevitable and i think like the core root of all this is we have to adjust how the living mourn the dead because it is the concept of burials and graves even in like movies tv shows the whole aesthetics of it like they're really really romanticized and done is like

importance and value to the living but um we we need to adjust that and death is infinite but our resources are not i can't believe you thought that i was going to be against this like truly no no i i didn't think that i didn't know i didn't know how you would personally feel about it on the podcast i didn't know if you were like okay like no i don't think there's i when i was looking at people were lots of like it was a lot of like the this is like all just the atheist blah blah blah you know but who was saying this i don't know it's websites probably white people i guarantee it was like the evangelicals doing that because like no i i've never like gone back to visit any of the dead people in my family like we don't believe that your body like you're in your body

anymore so like we don't go back and visit gravesites yeah the only and i've i've told you before that i think funerals funerals are a scam no yeah that does that does ring a bell the only thing i will say is that like the jewish community like there's a really specific um timeline for how burials and like funerals are done in like a whole time window and i mean we should always be conscious of anti-semitism but like right now it's like rampant so i just want to make it like abundantly clear that like if anyone's like furthering this discussion like this is something that i'm like i will talk about this with people who like anytime someone's like if this like part of like the jewish faith i'm like i'm not going to like i'm not going to get

into any of that or invalidate that because i don't know the traditions and the aspects of it or like you know any like religious or ethno religion group that has been marginalized and like attacked that like i'm not here to like at this point i'm just like if you're if this isn't a core part of your religion you haven't been haven't been persecuted and like globe like had global like mass genocide for your beliefs like you can still get buried the rest of us no like just just no no no no no yeah and i think like i i think that there are a lot of like there's a lot of like graveyards that are some now put in like less desirable areas where like you can't build things they're like on like some people like say they're like yeah you know you do

like you build it on top of like sewage and stuff i'm like actually no like it can't be that unregulated of a of an area because if something floods then they come back up like it can't be soft sewage ground also where we're dropping sewage and trash and things it's just piling up it's not decomposing no and like i i think that like there's some like wonderful history in some like graveyards and all of that but i think at this point the existing graves that graveyards that we have if they are not in land that could be used for housing then i think they need to be maintained like city parks are or better than city park things should be maintained like national parks and they should be used for people to walk their dogs in like their kids playing and and not

a completely desolate empty area yeah and i think at a certain point i'm like if if that's disrespectful to the dead that the living can't move on with their lives and you know enjoy it like you think of like um celebration of life it's like oh i want everyone to have like fun or whatever i'm like you mean to tell me every single person who's buried there is like no child can run around here like that is like disrespectful then i'm like then i don't give a shit about you That's what people would be like, because when I lived in that condo, it was next to a graveyard and people were like, that doesn't freak you out. I was like, it's just decomposing bodies. Like, no, like that. There's nothing weird about it to me. yeah and like it's it's just so riddled with capitalism because like actual bodies decomposing in the ground like is beneficial for soil like you know like you know obviously not if

you're wearing materials that can't decompose but when you then put all of these chemicals and things in these boxes like people weren't intended for a long period of time even in like religious groups it wasn't intended to be like an eternal grave like it was like you know, you're, it's ceremonial, you've been buried. And then we always joke like, oh, we're becoming worm food. Like actually you're not though. Like that's the issue. Like that would be better. Yeah. You're not wrong. Thank you. I've been saying things like this for a while. I used to say that I wanted to be buried naked because that's very on brand for me. But then when I found out about the decomposition, then I was like, like I said

that up until maybe like five ten years ago and then i changed it yeah i'm like please don't please don't bury me i don't i don't need the square footage i really don't i really fucking don't do whatever is cheaper for you if you want to cremate me and that makes you feel better like you prefer that you have the afford you can afford that go for it i'm leaving money for it you know yeah no it's not me i'm like but if that's how you choose if you want to choose to use the money i'm giving you if that's if you would prefer me to be in an urn or somewhere you want to wear me like where you want you want to put me in a little vial and wear me around your neck i'm i'm there i'm ready you want to shoot me up into space fucking go for it you want to plant me in a tree

you want to spread me my ashes in the ocean like fucking go for it like it's about you like i'm dead like this is about you that for the first time in my life i'm not the main character like see but you're not bringing the main character energy to death i am well i mean i do think i'm gonna like play a little prank like if you spread my ashes i'm gonna like backfire a little bit like you'll choke a little bit and i'll be like sorry i'm part of you forever until you shit me out the next morning no but i definitely want to like you know haunt people or you know leave little notes to make them think i'm haunting them yeah like i want to do that thing where that people it's a new thing that people have been talking about where you can hire people that just show up at the back

your funeral or whatever and just have like we're all black and have just like an umbrella and just look they just stand in the back and look upon you that's my favorite scene in movies yeah it's like i can't or and you have them even across the street where it's like they can't see my face but i'm mourning from afar yeah like i'm gonna be like it's my death is gonna be camp and like but after that like you know it's not camp lying in a box underground no thank you no fuck that and like who am i lying next to i don't know these fuckers right just one big orgy i don't trust these bitches leave let me let me be free all right well let's take a break now

all right we're back hi now it's time for but are you wrong and that's when y'all write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com and share situations that you may have been the wrong in the plot not funeral plot though hey or maybe maybe i don't know your life writer one i 23 she her needs some validation if you feel i deserve it a family friend of mine 39 she her let's call her annie is angry with me and has been for over a month now i agreed to babysit her kids while she went to a concert about a month before said concert the week of the concert she checked to see if i could still babysit with a text when i agreed i was unemployed and by the time the concert came around I had a new job. I told her I could still babysit since it would be

at night and my job ended at 5 p.m. She asked are you sure? We'll be getting home pretty late. I had to work the next morning and told her if she had someone else in mind to babysit then okay they could do it but I would babysit if she didn't have anyone else since I promised her I would. She answered with I'll find someone else period included. I didn't respond. I'm a person who can't stand when someone is mad at me but I wouldn't let myself give excuses or try to win her forgiveness since I felt I did nothing wrong. Annie is one to hold grudges for a long time. She's still angry with me about this and it's been a month and a half. How do I know this? She hasn't asked me to babysit since which she would at least a few times a month and when we're together at

family functions she doesn't greet me when she arrives which she always used to and she barely talks to me so am i wrong do i need to apologize this woman is so immature and i don't like you were trying to do a favor for her and you were still gonna do it and for some reason she's mad at you she asked you are you sure yeah she offered you an out and you said i see her out if you have someone else like sure but like i'm still gonna do it i'm still down you're you're not wrong if you just like since you said that you don't like people being mad at you if you want to say something to her then cool but like i she would just be on my shit list and i'd move on with my life and she can be mad all she wants and she can find other child care yeah i mean i my only thing

is like was she paying you for this and like you said that you were unemployed at the time but like now you have a job and she used to ask you I think you said twice a month a few times a month yeah so are your pockets hurting like are you like lose is this income that you would like to get back again because I think that's the only time that I would like say anything because sometimes when people are like cunty about it but they're not like cunty about something but they don't like confront you about it or say anything about it it's because they know that they like can't really fucking say anything and like they don't have like any grounds to stand on but they're just like mad right and if they told anyone else it would be like okay no like you're

in the wrong here and so sometimes those people i'm like i'm not gonna like you are gonna you can just self-implode with your anger because you actually can't talk about it with anyone else because you're clearly in the wrong you can't come at me because you're clearly in the wrong so like you know you can confront that person and just be like hey what's up and then sure do you want to try and verbalize why you're the victim in the situation here go for it but i also think that like you can also just like absolutely say nothing but if you needed the money or you like miss having that money then i think that's the only time that i would even apologize yeah but it doesn't mean that like you have to mean it stay mad is how i feel but do whatever's gonna be best for your

pockets and your mental health yeah okay this past weekend i-25 female went to my friend jordan 24 females cottage for the weekend with her boyfriend my other friend chloe 24 female and her boyfriend josh 24m so now we can automatically assume that you're canadian because you said cottage and we've that's something i've learned from our podcast me and jordan and chloe are all best friends we were all pretty drunk over the course of the night me and josh were getting along and Chloe got upset at how close we were. We don't usually get super friendly at all, honestly, and this night was the exception. I felt like we were bonding. They had been dating for two years. It was totally friendly and not at all romantic, just FYI. Chloe pulled me aside

and had a talk with me that it made her uncomfortable. Then after this talk, they both pulled me aside to have another difficult conversation, basically the same one I just had with Chloe, but now with Jordan. I felt very ganged up on and was much less receptive to what they were saying for this reason I also just had this exact same conversation with Chloe I told them that I don't know why this conversation is necessary since I just had it with Chloe sometimes Chloe isn't as assertive as she should be I thought maybe she had some things she didn't feel comfortable saying one-on-one but that totally wasn't the case after Jordan came up to me and asked me how I felt and I told her I was upset about how the second conversation went down

and I felt ganged up on am I wrong for getting mad and kind of telling off Jordan for how the second conversation was handled and telling her basically that she should have stayed out of it this is difficult because i could see both sides of this like i think that there is a world in which you did absolutely nothing wrong and you are completely ganged up on and i think there's also a world in which you crossed a line and it was disrespectful of their relationship and then your other friend was then also upset too because like that's the other part that like if I if this happened if I found this out and it was like these are like my two best friends or whatever and the girlfriend confronted her and then I found out about it afterwards like I would

confront you too like I would I would be mad as a friend too because like I will be mad at my friends when like when you when you as my friend treat another one of my friends our friends poorly that makes me upset at you too because I care about everyone here and I don't want you to look bad like I don't like when you do things that make you look bad because I like you and like that I don't like that so that to me like both of those things like those are two realities that like we obviously don't know which one is like the true it could also be that he crossed the line but then they take it out on the friend yeah that could be an option too yeah and I and i think that like but also everyone's drunk as well and so perception of what actually happened

could be off like maybe you did and you don't realize because you were drunk or maybe they read too much in it because they were drunk but if it's two of them saying things to you then i would go with it's probably you yeah i also think the exact word choice of like this makes someone uncomfortable like in and i think it's a conversation we should just have with more as friends like what do you want my relationship to be like with your significant other yeah because like some people like they want you to be best friends their significant other and other people like don't want you to have your own personal relation they don't want to have your phone number and like that's not about that they're like jealous or protective it's just like some people

prefer to compartmentalize their relationships like it's just easier and that's what they like and like that's all fine and good but like we should as friends I think we should all be more communicative with what we want out of the relationship with our partners and our friends I understand feeling ganged up on but I think it's hard when you've made someone like uncomfortable like for me if it was like a complete misstep and a total accident like I would never be like oh you're overreacting it would be like because your feelings are valid like it's like oh wow if I did something that was so not my intention like I would feel mortified and so bad and some people when they're embarrassed and they feel like really bad you they can lash out so I think the

you know lashing out at Jordan and then getting defensive the second time around that's a little red flaggy to me because like I would just feel more sad but again some people when they feel confronted and they feel like really embarrassed they get angry I don't so that's not something that i can personally relate to with that but but also again alcohol alcohol was at play yeah yeah i mean i think you have to think of like you know your intentions but like how they're coming across and like how the behavior is received you don't have a control over yeah i would just say i'm sorry i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable and then move on and then you know stay with the group yeah and you also have to get i'm like did they say anything to him too

yeah that's like i mean that's a big part of it too but i think like in that moment like you also have to put yourself if this was the other way around and it was like your partner that like chloe was too close to and then if jordan didn't give a shit that would make you feel like really bad like i understand like i've been ganged up on groups of three girls or groups of three in any like anyone like is a hard number but if it's not a pattern of behavior that's something that they do like would this have interned on the same thing for you and not like a well i would have never said that it goes no no would if this situation had happened and it's not about like how you react to the situation but like would she have stood up there for you the exact same way right so

yeah i do think that you are in the wrong here because if i felt disrespected and uncomfortable from like a french from a friend perspective i would i i would probably feel pretty hurt if like my other friend didn't care i also have a question after chloe said something did chloe go back and talk to jordan and then they came to you again and had the conversation or did jordan separately see what happened and then came to you came when they both came like was it a separate thing like jordan saw something and was like that's not okay yeah or did jordan like if she came back with chloe did Jordan talk at all or like was it like Chloe just round two with a witness yeah yeah that's a good point but yeah I also think that like we can unintentionally be flirty like

that is something that like it just it just happens like because half of being flirty is being kind and charismatic yeah like that's like really what it is and like there doesn't have to be like a romantic intent behind it but especially when you've been drinking and it seems like these are two couples and then you so like if everybody has more of a flirty nature with like their significant other partners they're like yeah I could see how you could end up like being flirty and not meaning it and honestly this is something I'm very like cognizant of when I'm with like friends where sometimes I'm like I may have been friends with the guy first and then you know became friends when he got a girlfriend with the girl but i always like it's something i'm

i make sure that like i'm not ever alone with one of them or like even like text chains and make sure that they're both on the text messages because i just don't ever want anything to be wrongly construed yeah and like i will adjust my behavior and relationship like hey there's things that you're comfortable with in your own relationship and i'm like but then when you have Like, I know my boundaries in my personal relationship. I don't know your boundaries there. So I'm not going to get to a point where you have to tell me what they are because I've gone too far.

Like, I'm always going to like assess the situation, but even just respectful, like I'm not going to be like touchy or like anything like that just because like I don't know what you would be, what your significant other is comfortable with. And I don't want them to have to face that and deal with that question after that boundary has already been crossed by me when I can just as easily not cross it. Yeah. So, yeah, I think that like we have this whole thing of like, you know, like guys and girls can just be friends, like let people be friends. Like, yeah, totally.

But also there's a way to like recognize like you don't when you don't know someone like intimately, like you can know that there's like no malice or flirtation or like any meaning behind it. But, you know, like we all have our anxieties and we all have like those other things. In general, I'd rather I prefer to do everything in my power to like not make someone feel bad or question or deal with anything like that, because it's hard in newer relationships. So, you know, it's not bad to adjust how you are in a friendship. Right. All right. Next one. Hi, Eminem.

I hope you guys have a great Hottieween. We did. We did. Thank you. we're trying really hard not to keep talking about how i they them have a manager she her almost middle age that's a reference that's a reference hmm now i'm right the crumb and just know we picked it up and i and i want to know who's who's qualification oh yeah of middle age uh-huh you know you know what we mean if you like to join the patreon then you could be in this is

one of those inside jokes that that we mentioned inside joke about middle age uh-huh and we will not be elaborating no i they them have a manager see her almost middle age have gotten super close but of course have a good work relationship so sometimes when we go on break she and i vent out our mental health stuff together as we both struggle with clinical depression social anxiety and a form of ptsd different experiences so she tells me how she's been super down since it's the anniversary anniversary of her dad's passing and when she tried to find comfort from her boyfriend middle-aged he him he said i have my own mental shit to deal with get over it when i heard that i wanted to strangle the bitch she's told me so many stories how he always neglects

her triggers and mental health struggles and personal health struggles even though this is my manager, I forever sympathize with people who struggle with mental health, even for people I hate, surprisingly. So am I wrong for telling my manager that she needs to break up with her boyfriend because he's trash, especially on how he disrespects her mental health, even if she's my manager? P.S. Something I did tell her that did help me a lot was Kylie's unique love say, don't let that hurt child make your grown-up decisions it actually got her thinking and said yeah my dad for sure doesn't like to see me sad i should do something for him wow that's like a very deep quote it is and just for everybody kylie sonique love is formerly known as sonique

is the winner of all-star season six sorry and then they were on season two far so insane glad they have a friend like you but i am always hesitant about telling people to dump their significant other i low-key always think it's wrong to tell us when they need to dump yeah it's the need and you put it in all caps that is something that i'm not really into unless they're just like terribly differently yeah like there's a different way to help people see the light this just isn't I don't think you need to tell people that that you dump them or to dump their significant other because one you're only getting one side of the story and then two it can also hurt your friendship because like they may need a friend but this is not what they need to hear right now

and so there's ways to say like what do you want how does this make you feel are his triggers are And I don't think the boyfriend went about this in the same way, but like saying like, did you ask the boyfriend if they were emotionally capable? There's a better way to say this. I don't know what it is, but asking the boyfriend, do they have the emotional bandwidth to handle this right now? Because, I mean, I don't appreciate him saying I have my own mental health shit to deal with. Get over it. Like, that's terrible. but still like there's sometimes like i'll have a friend or someone come to me and they have

something to share but i'm not in a mental space to hear it at that time and i can't give comfort or support because i just can't yeah right then so like do i think the boyfriend handled it right no but like also you don't know exactly how she handled it either yeah i mean i do i think they should break up yes without a doubt yes i don't think you're wrong for wanting to say this i think you would be wrong if you did say this because when you tell someone like you need to break up with them they're that doesn't mean anything you can't make them like that's not definitive like you saying that doesn't mean they're going to break up at all and you can't like you just can't say that kind of thing to someone just because you actually have no power

in the situation and sadly in like toxic relationships abusive relationships the person on the other end of it like they don't feel like they have any power right and so in that moment when you tell them they need to do something you're actually giving them power to say i'm not gonna do that versus empowering them to know that they have the power to leave like you're basically giving them giving them an us against the world mentality to kind of stay but yeah i agree like we talked about it in last week's but am I wrong so like yes we both said in that last episode that like when we're going through our own mental health struggles like I don't I mean I don't like the person that I am but I also like don't always love how I choose to treat how yeah I mean

I do have agency in those moments like I don't like always how I treat people or how I go about saying things or whatever it is like I'm not the greatest friend at that time but I would never do this. And to me, this is something I probably could have done when I was like at an absolute horrific point in my life without any therapy, without any tools. And when I'm not working on myself and that is like a, a journey that people who deal with their mental health, like have, and like, we have that, that time in that place, unless you've had parents, parents who like set you up with the tools and the resources to be in therapy for like, however long, like from a young age it's kind of an unavoidable thing but that doesn't mean that it's her responsibility to

maintain and be in a relationship with someone who's at that point like if I was at that point nope not I can't be in a relationship like it's that's when it's like yeah you you have your own shit going on and your response is like a the definition of an untherapized response to someone who is not working on themselves and that's okay and you can grow from that and that doesn't be your permanent state but like you need to eliminate the casualties around and like you shouldn't be in a relationship yeah so we always say this but like when it comes to like friends or telling anyone about like their relationship even if it's an abusive situation there's a way to go about it it's a privilege and it doesn't always feel like that to like be a person who

someone feels like they can choose to like share things with and more likely than not you're the only one because like very often people just keep everything to themselves they don't tell anyone anything and if you're telling one person the only time i think it's acceptable to like cut off that communication and like shut down that outlet and that resource is if it's affecting your negative health wow that's do you love yourself no i was like negative like mental health i did megan that's dark that's why i said do you love yourself um that is affecting your mental health like that's the time or when you've gotten to a point where it's like this is the last I can't continue on in this this is really hard for me so like I'm giving you one last thing after I've

tried everything else like this is the this is like the absolute last thing ever and it's not need it's like please I'm asking you desperately like we I've tried to get through to you on all these other things and all this stuff I'm like this is such a bad relationship for you you deserve so much better. And like, I really, really want you to end this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's just other ways to say it. And imagine someone tells you you need to do something. I'm not doing it. No. Fuck off. OK. Hi, Megan, Melissa and fellow listeners. Hi, I'm 24. She her and my boyfriend is 21. He him. He has been one of my best friends since I was 17. And we've been dating for a little over three years. We are long distance best friends. My first two years of college and

started dating this number before my junior year slash his freshman year. He's old for his grade and I'm young for mine. So I graduated in May 2021 and he will graduate in May 2023. You should have picked this one because there's too many fucking numbers for me. I worried about him starting college in a relationship, but he assured me that's what he wanted. Over the summers, we spent half the week in the same house, separate beds. During school, we would visit each other every two months. In the past, Megan and Melissa, hi, yes, that is us, endorsed the idea of living in the same city but in separate apartments after being long distance. I thought this made complete sense. This summer, I've been internally wavering on my stance and starting to consider moving in

together three months after he graduates when my lease ends. He'd prefer to move in together when my lease ends but has always completely been on board to wait because I wanted to. As his graduation comes into view, it seems weird to deprive us both of something that I think would make us both happy. I still worry that he'll be deprived of a life experience. Also, I sense from friends and family that investment or taking steps in a relationship is counter to investment in myself i think this is a result of the patriarchy telling women they can't be successful in a relationship to conclude would i be wrong for deciding i want to live together after my lease ends in september 2023 this is together now this is different than what we've talked about

because y'all have lived in the same place together you're just in different rooms like this is not the same situation that we usually speak on. No. And I do think that there is there's a very different relationship that people have when you have grown up with someone and your friends like you've had independent lives and you're not like I think if you're moving to a city where you both don't know anybody, I think you'd be better set up than people who started dating in college because time is like the solution to everything. But there is a comfort that comes with time and even if it's not time you've been dating but like time that you've known somebody like they've seen you through like finding your personality and like different

friends and all of that like especially in high school like you have the sports that you play you have clubs you've got your school friends you've got your class friends you've got all these different like things that like your life is full college you have school and you have a relationship or you have a friendship like you have to really go out of your way to like have all of these different facets of like so many fucking plates spinning at one time that's much harder to do and can make couples a little bit more codependent so like I had friends in college who were had like hometown like long-term boyfriends and then I had ones that like met like started dating like someone like the summer before they got went to college or whatever

and the girls who had their high school boyfriends they would their boyfriends would come visit for the weekend and I wouldn't even know they were there the weekend because I still hung out with them all the fucking time and I'm like oh he was here like or if he was he'd be like hey I'm gonna grab and do this whatever like it was there was there was no like pressure or rush to spend all of their fucking time together it was like oh we've coexisted in the same high school for years and we've been friends and like we're in a relationship obviously but like my life I don't go dark when he visits for a weekend like I show him my life he does his own things when he's here I do my own things and like you wouldn't know any any different and like but that is really

different than the people who had like you know hometown boyfriends who they dated for a small like a short period of time or if they didn't have like grow up together and have like a really robust individual life yeah you've already had your trial run so I don't see any issue yeah I think like if you're moving to a brand new city that like he's visited you in but like he's never like lived in before I think that like making sure which it seems like you have that like even if he says like no I'm like yeah I want to live with you and like this is like great like you can do that and then be like okay it's really important to me though that like you join like an intramural team like you do something that is separate from like you do something where

you're not visiting here like you do something to set down roots that's just you and you can encourage that while you like live together like it's just not he just can't be added on to your life because that becomes really isolating but to the part where you said like you sense from friends and family that take the investment of taking step in a relationship is counter to investment in yourself you think that's a result of the patriarchy telling women that we can't be successful in a relationship. I personally disagree with that. I think that you can be successful in a relationship, but in order for anything to succeed, you have to, you're pouring from one cup. So you have to sacrifice on other things there. And I don't think that you can't

have a successful career and successful friendships and be like a successful member of society and volunteer and all that you can have all of those things it's just about what level of participation and like active hours you're putting into all of those things and like thinking that you can have it all you you can have it but you can't you can't always have it all at a hundred percent and i don't think that that's a part of like the patriarchy but i do think that like thinking that you can do and have everything and do it all perfectly is a result of like hustle culture. And that I think is detrimental. Yeah. I think that, I think the goal of success, like whatever that means, like monetary or whatever it is, but yeah, like if you want to be

crushing it and like making a fuck ton of money and like working really hard, you will sacrifice hours that you would quality time with a significant other time in your hobbies time volunteering like it is true like I make less money like when I was working like my ass off and I was single I had less cups to pour from like my pitcher into and that's what it is yeah that's it so let us know are you living together all right let's take a break all right so now we are back and it is time for but are they wrong aka woad of the week rachel of the week and this is when we pick someone or something from the media pop culture that we think is the wrong of the week oh tomato tomato tomato so this week i'm nominating

aubrey drake graham and so as y'all know drake is already a enemy of the pot yeah we talk a lot about him but we don't it never really makes it to air do we ever talk do people know that are like the dual hatred canadian hatred we have of him i mean we talk a lot about the weekend do we talk about the weekend on the podcast though yes okay because i just want you all to know that like if i actually had to nominate our top spots of enemies like on and off the podcast like who we talk the most shit on it's it's them so if you thought it was leo michelle it's not yeah i know that we have because narissa messaged me and said i can't believe y'all don't like the weekend i can't believe that people like the weekend and then also there's now a class in canada that's

going to be teaching some class about drake in the weekend but anyway this is specifically i mean the weekend hasn't really done anything no he released some homophobic oh i didn't know about that lyrics and also dated um bella hadid when she was i think barely of age okay well anyway back on track so drake enemy of the pot said some things about two of our faves friends of the pot we probably talk about our love of Olympia's dad and more than

we love Olympia's dad yeah so like he like it's as if he listened to the podcast and was like as someone who is your number one on your shit list

I'm gonna go after the top people who you love and it was like and you thought we weren't going to talk about you so like okay we get it

you want our attention you got it come for Kiki it'll be fucking obsessed if you come for and here's the thing you can go for kiki do you love me but if you come for

lauren kiki palmer i sleep with one eye open you're with one eye fucking open done one eye open bitch but anyway getting back on track we're very passionate so passionate so on his song middle of the ocean he said sidebar serena your husband is a groupie which is rich coming from drake so first of all if i'm married to somebody they should be my number one fan they should be running my fucking fan club like i'm sorry you thought that was an it no that's like you just told on yourself that you're like actually would be the absolute worst partner in the world yes and like you know in true fashion alexis that's his name and even though the rest of this time i will be referring to him as olympia's dad um he posted on instagram the reason i stay winning

is because i'm relentless about being the absolute best at whatever i do including being the best groupie for my wife and daughter pussy dripping like right when there are some men who put hot sauce and condoms and then there are other men who winning shots and then have wonderful children yeah like winning shots wonderful children that they claim from the beginning uh-huh

that they support financially as well as emotionally throughout their entire life as well as the mother of said child and not only would that child want for nothing physically and monetarily they will want for nothing emotionally right and um

let's not forget That Drake was simping so hard for Serena, going to all her matches, up in her face, in clubs. I mean, I don't know if they were dating or not. But the fact is, she's been married to Olympia's dad for the last five years. Drake, get the fuck over yourself. Move on. Like, why? Why are you so mad?

Like, he's literally giving incel pick me behavior. Yes. like it's like it is literally like where's my hug like but these nice guys like it's like oh my gosh wow you pursued this well it's like i didn't even want her she's a fucking bitch like oh wow okay get off 4chan and also not even like if we move away from him like simping over serena so hard there's also the fact that drake is the biggest sports groupie there ever was there are so many memes of him from games so many pictures of him hugged up on like professional athletes you're the groupie of all groupies he's just the biggest sports groupie there is well he like

fights with players i know that's what i'm there's so many memes of him from games like groupie of all groupies sit down and then he comes for megan the stallion and i'm like just leave megan the fuck alone she does not bother anyone everybody leave her alone yes leave everyone named megan you can bother me and you can bother megan mccain but leave megan markle and meg the stallion alone leave them oh my god also again i did wonder i'm like do you have a death wish like at this moment like okay so you just really want to uh you want to appease and uh to racists let's yeah let's just let's just let megan speak for herself good call good call so just if you don't know what the he has a song called circle loco that says this bitch lied

about getting shot but she's still a stallion implying that megan is lying about getting shot by Tory Lanez. So Megan herself has been very vocal against society's acceptance of violence against Black women. And in 2020, she wrote an op-ed for the New York Times about the shooting and the intersection of racism and sexism. I highly suggest y'all go read that. But I will read a quote that Megan put on Twitter as Auntie Dionne Warwick says, a quote. And I'm going to say a word that i usually don't say amongst mixed company with palm colored people but this is a direct quote so here i go no i mean you can hear okay stop using my shooting for clout you bitch ass niggas since when the fuck is it cool to joke about women getting shot you niggas especially

rap niggas are lame ready to boycott bout shoes and clothes but dog pile on black women when she say one of y'all homeboys abused her so the only good thing to come out of any of this really is like a lot of people are turning their backs on drake which finally welcome join us tiktok commentary has been chef's kiss it's been it's been so good so i'm just like bye drake i'm waiting for more things that people aren't talking about in public like a lot but i'm waiting for those things to come out against you and uh you've been on my shit list for years and also jojo's version of marvin's room is better than yours yeah also just like factually you make music for maddie Pruitt's husband you make music for Trissy Trout you make music for white boys who think they have

an n-word pass like you have some songs that I will admit they are great but like you just happen to be an incel who's like conventionally attractive and famous and rich and like no matter how much money you have and fame you have like if you hate women it's gonna happen also again I've said it before i'll say it again i don't believe the hot sauce in a condom thing for one bit if that was true i just i just so anyway fucking hate him always and forever enemy of the podcast so i have a lot of wrongs of the week and i think i'm just gonna go through on the line them instead of just picking one yeah so first up i would like to nominate orbeez aka water beads i ended up on this side of tiktok that was absolutely terrifying if you don't know what they are you can look them

up some places they're called water beads that's kind of like the generic name for them like across the world but orbeez is specific brand name kind of like kleenex and tissue sort of thing so they're basically these like little ball things they were really viral on youtube a couple years ago um for like challenge videos, like filling my pool with like a million Orbeez, like doing all these challenges or whatever. They're really fucking popular with kids. They're colorful. They're bright as a neurodivergent person. I look at them, I go crunchy, fun. They look like squishy, sparkly, fun, like Dippin' Dots. It's the same feeling I had when people were like some children eating Tide Pods. And I go, I could see it like that as someone who is enticed by those things.

I'm not going to eat it, but I could see it. So they're also in slime a lot, but they're also in certain kinds of squishy toys. You know what I mean? Like when it's like the ones that like you squish them and it's clearly there's like a gel or a liquid on the inside and one side gets a lot bigger than the other. And, you know, it's like moving around. So Orbeez have on the like packaging of them, like what the age requirements are. And it says like, caution, do not use to have children use unsupervised can be a choking hazard. So sure, they could technically be a choking hazard. But honestly, like not really. They're a little softer. They're they're able. They're small. They're able enough for children to swallow. When I look at it, I go, I think that

that had to have been a toy before I was born, that they had sense bands like just looking at how how they it's like cigarette candy again. Like they're looked in a way they go. They they look like gushers. They look like they should be edible. But I know in my adult brain that they're not that's not being like reported in the when you're selling them there's none of that shit and it's not like oh this is automatically people are being swallowed they're swallowing they're killing them there's one woman who on tiktok at the water bead lady does has an entire account dedicated to this and in 2017 her daughter um just like swallowed some and started getting like it was just like odd like her behavior and like her development um and she suffered severe

brain damage and it's it's permanent it's not a temporary thing and this other woman on my for you page her kid swallowed one just one and was so violently ill and like was getting sicker vitals were going down like doctors were like trying to figure out what the fuck it was but it was like they're so small you can't even see when a kid swallows them and like older kids are playing with them, but they're not coming with a warning. And it's, you think of a choking hazard? Yeah, I'm going to watch my kid play with this. But hey, even if my kid swallows it, it's just a choking hazard. So therefore, if they didn't choke, we're in the clear. It's literally not. The thing that freaks me out, and I sent it to my sister-in-law

because I know, I mean, it's a little older than my nephew, but her nephew, he's of like the age of that but even i was thinking like daycares like like preschools like places that have like you know activities and those things to do like they're like they're used without real regulation and like in in the masses like everybody uses them so fuck orbeez and just like absolutely fuck whoever like i'm i'm so here for like the regulations when it comes to like safety of like children's and baby products but whatever fucking timeline that we are on right now that has not moved forward and it has been able to do a mass recall of this like needed to have happened like well over a year ago and this is so fucking dangerous that at this point i wouldn't trust any

whoever is the fucking manufacturer of or i wouldn't trust any other product that they're putting out there yeah next is um the founder of oculus did you see this so oculus are the vr glasses he designed vr glasses where if you die in the game you die in real life no it's like a suicide vest in those goggles i can't that's all i'm gonna say okay fuck that fuck that and the final one this one pains me to say and i will not hesitate at all just blocking anybody who wants to get into discussing this or defending this or whatever like we've made it a really clear point to make our our content as well as like the subsidiaries of our content like our instagram our patreon and our facebook page

to be a place free safe and free from this so you don't get to you're not i'm not inviting any arguing on this i would like to sadly nominate rihanna and fenty yes for inviting johnny depp to be a part of the fenty fashion show and it has been officially confirmed it's about 40 seconds of him walking out from behind a tree and the repercussions of that trial will affect women and victims for years and years and years to come. And it's going to take fucking centuries for us to recover. And then when people platform those people on a larger stage to a bigger audience and fan base, we're set back even further. And I wish Rihanna peace and healing on her journey as a victim and a survivor of domestic abuse. And I hope that people who have

also suffered violence in relationships or in any kind of relationship view this as what it is, which is somebody who has not processed their experience and are in turn hurting other victims and not what you as a victim should strive for as healing and what you should strive for as like complete moving on past your traumatic event. Like this is not a goal that you want to be at. This is not only like, is it a mistake, but it's, I'm like very, I'm like, I'm devastated

and I'm like really upset with her and the whole team. But, and I'm also really sad that someone who's experienced this personally would make this call because all that says to me is how unsupportive you must have been in your time within your own personal relationships, not just the public perception.

And I wish her healing. Yeah. Well, that is it. Do you have any good news of the week that we should end with? Oh, good news of the week. Shaq had a wonderful clap back to Kanye West. What do you say?

Furthering Shaq being at the top of our BFF list, friend of the podcast. Kanye said, Shaq is in business with Jamie Salter. Jamie first said he's 50-50 with David Beckham and 50-50 with Shaq. I said, Jamie, there's no such thing as 50-50 in business. Who has the extra 1% of the control in voting rights? Believe me, you don't know me like that.

Worry about your business. And to quote the once great Kanye West, I got more money than you, so why would I listen to you? Take my advice and get your family business in order. Have a great day, brother. I love Shaq. Yep, that is the wonderful, good news of the week. And I made pumpkin bread, which is also good news of the week.

Oh, yes. And we're going to have some. I'm about to put it in my mouth. In your mouth hole. Woo. Okay. Well, we'll. Go vote tomorrow.

What? On the episode. Oh, I thought you meant in the election. I was like, voting is right now. I fucking love filling in those little bubbles. That's it. We hope you enjoyed. Leave a review on the podcast app.

We would so appreciate that. We can read one. Oh, we have a new one? Yeah. And don't forget to actually subscribe to the feed because you can get push notifications. Yeah, and I'm going to read this one. It's going to, I'm going to laugh.

Oh, no. And go comment on our Instagram who your personal wrong of the week is. or who your personal um malala of the week is which would be just what did malala do this week or comment who your i couldn't say comment your should be a good one or a bad one oh yeah it's like um was it your lemon and your sugar or whatever the fuck your rose and your thorn comment your good and bad place rachel of the week all right so this says love megan and melissa i love love love both podcasts but i'm so sorry having them both combined into one feed

is so confusing i feel like it's so much easier and every so many people have said it's easier yeah so if you're having trouble with deciphering the shows i know apple podcast does make it hard if you have spotify i suggest using that because it shows the different icons for the show but here's the other thing i'm just saying for this specific person yes but also roulette you don't know what you're gonna get but also why does it matter don't you love every single episode and value them all exactly the same yeah so this has always been inevitable and maybe it's our bad that we didn't tell well i guess we couldn't we couldn't say we couldn't say yeah so just know that like we always wanted to do this and just pretend it's always been this way because this is like that

was what we wanted to do the whole because two feeds make no fucking sense it doesn't but if you are having trouble look at spotify yeah and we do wish that every time we uploaded an episode like it on apple podcast the thumbnail would also if you go from your desktop it does adjust it's just the app on your phone i was thinking about that yeah it's just the app on the phone okay all right we'll circle back goodbye but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson