Don't Blame Me! - My Friend is Part of The Problem

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

This week, Meghan and Melisa delve into tough subjects and personal updates. The advice segment addresses a listener struggling with the decision to reach out to a problematic friend, and get an update from the listener whose friend committed a hate crime. On a personal front, Melisa recounts her recent big move and how Meghan stepped up to help when she thought she was being followed. Later, they salivate over People's choice for this year's Sexiest Man Alive and wrap up the episode by breaking down the key Democratic victories from Election Day 2025. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Subscribe to But Am I Watching? Apple  Spotify Subscribe to Don’t Blame Me! Apple Spotify Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) DBM Submission Form Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody hi welcome to don't blame me welcome welcome welcome we're so happy to have you here as we continue to embark on what i have to say is something i really love that we're doing is our our shift in our shows. So what is this show? This is a show where we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice that um some may say like I just did it changes your life for better or for worse that's why the title is Don't Blame Me and the me applies to anybody giving advice and we're also uh talking current events pop culture anything that we want to really updates in our own lives yes and you have a very big update yes i moved look at this empty bookcase an empty calax yes so i should have had you while you were here which we'll get into

in a little bit um i realized the movers didn't properly put the legs on the bottom so i can't put anything on it but it's also too heavy for me to move by myself and the thing is when i moved in they um i went around in the movers like can you check things and i said the legs aren't on the bookcase upstairs so they did this purposely they did not finish the job because i had specifically said the legs weren't on like they weren't even on top like underneath them so i'm pissed about that so the do-gooder said i'll put the ones on and then the the ones who are like i'm just trying i'm just trying to get home they they they opted to not yeah they also made some really stupid mistakes yeah as in i put everything's

clearly labeled there's stickers on everything i also put things on your doors on the yeah on the doors why is there a box that says kitchen in the gym and it's also a heavy box so i can't move it downstairs by myself they think you're cooking in there right they're like she's absolutely crushing hot fiery sizzling the gym why are there boxes that are marked heavy stacked on top of each other when there's so much room that they can just there's a lot of room be flat yeah we had a couple of those instances and then when we were moving of like things like very clearly labeled in the wrong room and the one that was the funniest to me was things that they were moving they were like do you want this and mons was like yeah we're we're moving this and

he's like okay because i'll buy it from you and mons would like text me and be like they want to know if you want to sell that and i was like no like one of them was my desktop computer and i was like okay do i use it really like no but like maybe get his contact info but like i'm like not right now thinking about selling right like we're it's moving day we're paying you by the hour like just just load it just load it they chipped something like my bed which i'm getting rid of that bed anyway because you know i'm getting a king-size bed and he was like well i can glue it back on do you have any glue my shit's packed up i don't know where is it right you tell me what why would why would i just know where it is and also if you are moving furniture why wouldn't

you have furniture glue on you they also just wrap things like a hamper why the trash can why are these things wrapped in saran wrap yeah yeah that i don't know that i do not know yeah and i can't really like make a formal complaint because i'm a woman living by myself no what if they get mad and also there is a there's an aspect of like it still would have been harder to move yourself do what i mean so like it's like it's in this thing of being like okay well like i did pay good money for this this is annoying this was damaged this all of that but like also i'm still gonna hire movers again right right i'm not not gonna hire movers i've never not hired movers even when i was in college moving apartments i would just hire my friends i'd still pay them

because i wanted them to you know do a good job do a good job and i just throw shit um well i already saw your new place yeah so megan came over yeah mons and i have seen the new place it looks really good we did see it a little bit earlier than anticipated yes yes yes i wasn't anticipating anyone until there's a lot of things that i wanted done before people came over but you know something arose uh-huh and um megan was texting me you were asking how's the new place like it was a happy text that you were sending me and i said i can't be concerned with that right now because i just got an alert that an air tag is following me yes so this is on sunday night and melissa moved on friday so brand new what i had specifically said was oh my god i

I said, how's the new place? Send pics. And you said, too busy, stressing about this. And you send the screenshot. And immediately I'm like, what the fuck? I'm. And there are options. I was like, one of the movers did this or because it said it's been tracking for since like Saturday. But it also says that it could take up to 24 hours before your phone reads that it's been tracking you.

So it's like it's the movers or the night before somebody was supposed to come pick up a couch from me. I'm like in the house in my old house. I'm the only person there. It's completely empty. I'm cleaning it up. I'm not getting I like message them. They're supposed to come at five message them at 530. Not getting any information from him. then the next day his messages came through which is still odd to me because i was actively messaging him from five to six o'clock but i wasn't getting any responses like where are you the next day he was like i'm here mind you i'm inside in my kitchen which is right by the front door there's no way you knock on the door and i don't hear you no i can hear the mail slot in that room like you can hear when someone's brings puts mail like you can hear when somebody opens the gate you can hear it and he also sent a picture of the outside of my house and it was like a re it wasn't just like he grabbed it from google maps because the trash bags that i had left

outside were there so like he was there and he took a picture yeah and it's important to note that the specific tracking was tracking you between your old place and your new place and that's it and that's it and that's very scary so as mots and i are driving home from home goods and we had just picked up uh dinner and we're like we're almost home and melissa's texting me this and i'm like going through everything i'm like searching for all the different things that it could be like like if it's a glitch like what all of this is because i recently saw like a whole thing of like what to do when there's an air tag following you and so i'm like going through my watch history trying to remember where i found it and doing all of it she's doing that and i'm

emptying my purse i'm looking outside i'm looking all over my car i'm not seeing anything and it's also not playing the noise so there's a noise that's supposed to play but when i click it it says you need to get closer so i'm like i don't know where it is so i'm just like moving all around the house trying to find out where it is and as i keep googling i end up on reddit where there are posts that are marked back as far as three years ago up until like literally a week ago of specifically single women who have moved who like most often are living alone who the day the day or like within 48 hours or a week of them moving get a notification that there is an airtag tracking them but and the only two places between their old place and their new place and i was like

this is so crazy and there was pretty much some of them had like some solution where it was like oh my neighbor had one who like lived under me or like I figured it out. But like the vast majority were like, it stopped one day and like we didn't, I didn't know. I never figured out why it was happening. And it was like, people keep coming back to this thread being like, this just happened to me. This just happened to me. And like, no one really knows what to do. So at that point, I had sent Melissa this. And at that point I was like, okay, we're just going to finish eating and we're coming over. So we came over, we looked all in the car. We looked under the car, around the car and then we matz is like sore from golf and shots yeah he was like um and then we took melissa's

car without her phone without like any of her stuff in it because the car is like really the only because that's what you're you didn't walk between your two places like that's where it would be if it's showing that you're between those things if it wasn't on your person and it wasn't on your person and so then uh we took the car drove around to see if it would connect and flag that like there was one near us or anything like that and it didn't um and this seems to be a horrifically terrifying glitch that apple needs to figure out because beyond the fact that like any time getting this notification like is without a doubt scary but it is like even more scary when you're already at a vulnerable time which is moving like that is an opportunity for either

people to like rob you they know you're like hey that happened to me something's on my wallet like there's just it just is a higher risk situation and oftentimes when you're like a single woman moving by yourself there are you know again like strange or people strangers like movers facebook marketplace all yeah anybody walking by on the street could have put a tag on my in my stuff as they're loading like they had it loaded on the sidewalk yeah so like it's all right like you're already like more on like high alert in those situations and so for that i think for a glitch to happen which i have to assume that like the reason why they haven't fixed the glitch is the reason the glitch exists which i think is just it's a wi-fi connectivity and like device issue

that it doesn't recognize and as soon as like our phones were there melissa stopped the notification changed because i what i think happens and i also would urge anyone like if this does happen to you like investigate it thoroughly like don't just like take the results of what happened with your situation and like some of these people on reddit they're like oh it turned out to be fine it turned out to be nothing but like every time it should be like thoroughly checked out but i think what happened was because you moved and you've got all these different apple devices and you're on new wi-fi and all of that your phone the things that you're using regularly know it's you but then there are ones that like you've moved that they're like oh i don't remember if this is yours i don't

know who this is until we get there and it's phones that are being used and they go oh actually no this isn't the same level of different phone and different device than these ones are those ones actually are yours and then it stops oh yeah and i also updated my address in my on my apple products so they knew that this was my new home i will say though the next morning it started again oh my god and so but then i found my watch and i think it's the watch i found my watch once i charged my watch and it updated to the new address it stopped and it hasn't come back well in a totally like probably not logical way to me that makes the most sense because watches are the most shaped like air tags and so they might have the most and i guess the

tracking because you think they do bpm they do all that thing at the bottom is basically an air yeah so that was but we got to see your new place and it's so cute i felt so bad i was like that's like just so fucking stressful and like i was so happy y'all came over oh my god like the best of the best of the best friends oh easy mods immediately was like so we're going like yeah and he like even after he checked the car like four times you came in walked around he's like sore and then he's like i'm gonna check it again yeah it's like there's some places i didn't think about and then i'm like how many places can you find in this tiny car him driving your car around was so funny he was like the way that we took to try and turn back to your place the longest

way back because he was so concerned about bottoming out because he's like i feel like i'm just like sliding on the road like i feel so low down and i wondered if he was like gonna love it there's certain cars he like loves driving around it's he's too big he's too big i'm too i mean like any man any person that's over like five seven is too big for that car that's why I got it like it only when I bought it it only had 3,000 miles on it because somebody turned it in because he could not fit in the car yes so uh I was I did offer to Mons I was like I can I can drive it if you'd prefer but I do have longer legs so that's actually harder for me to do it um but when I sat back in the car because I forgot that he had oh yeah been in there moved it

I just like fell into the car because it wasn't where I was used to the seat being. Oh, it was just, it was so funny because when we were pulling in, I was like, okay, just remember what her car is. And he goes, I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about what this is gonna be like. Yes, initially when I got it,

it was like scary, but now I'm so used to it. Oh yeah, I mean, that's how I felt with my Jeep. And I will say it felt scary and then I got used to it. And now that I have another car, I'm like, no, it should have felt scary. like that jeep was you shouldn't feel the wind when you're in your car like you just like really shouldn't you shouldn't be able to be like oh i feel like i'm kind of swaying because of of the

wind um but it was that was a fun car to to have not really to drive but it was fun drive it that much though no got it because it ended 2019 and uh yeah and then it just all kept dying i have to get a new car we talked about it already i know isn't that crazy time flies yeah time fucking flies all right so we're gonna take a break when we get back we'll get into some advice we are back and it's time to give you some advice so if you want some advice from us your fearless leaders you can give us a call at 310-694-0976 you can also send us an email at megapodcast at gmail.com or you can fill out the form that we have listed in the show notes and on our socials or slide into the DMs of our podcast account. So for all of that, you have to

be over 18 and let us know your age. Give us as many details as possible so we can give you the best advice possible because we do want to give you good advice unless you're looking for toxic advice and in which case like specify that and then we'll happily oblige. And keep it under three minutes for the voice call voice memo and 300 words for the write-ins. Are you ready? I'm ready. Hello, Eminem. Last year, I, 30 female, had a fallout with my best friend. He is 10 years older than me. We worked in the same place, but it was a very toxic work environment. We work in academia. I started being very vocal about all the issues and actively attacking harassers by reporting them. Some years ago, I got into a big depression and burnout.

My best friend was always there for me, and I don't think I could have survived without him. The thing is, he doesn't think that the behaviors I'm denouncing are that toxic. He thinks it's just how academia works. I realize he is actually a part of the system I despise. After several months where the friendship was already fading, we had a big argument over text, and I cut ties with him. He said he will still be there if I ever wish to talk again, but he was also tired of trying to help with my mental health. The thing is, I actually miss him a lot.

I miss our friendship, but I still don't know how we could be friends again. I'm in a very good place in my life right now, and I would love to share that with him. Should I reach out? How? I am point blank. I'm just going to say I. I don't think you should reach out. like no i think this is one of those instances where i don't know like this is a don't rock the boat guy which is like just being like complacent in horrible and horrendous predatory shit like

this is the issue with in general like people are like oh not all men i'm like okay so if it's if they're not the ones doing like creating the havoc if they're not the ones assaulting and doing that most often they're the ones like this then then that's like that's the alternative it's like they're the ones doing nothing and they're the ones like downplaying or whatever and so like i think even him saying like you know if you ever want to like reach out like no no it's putting all that onus on you like i think if i'm not like opposed to friendship reconciliation even if or attempted friendship reconciliation even if like how it ended was like very poorly or you know it was there was like a conflict that could not be resolved if the person who was like the catalyst

of that conflict and who like did you wrong is like hey i've been reflecting and i like really don't like my behavior i realized i was wrong and i want to apologize and then like then it can be the cards on your like the like the balls in your court of deciding if you want to have a friendship with that person but like in no way is the person who is like complacent in workplace harassment and being like well if you ever want to reach back out and then be like okay well maybe i should reach back out again because i like i do like you're allowed to miss him but that doesn't mean that you should be you should can the friendship should pick back up right something that the writer told us that we're not including because they don't want to include it is that something

horrendous happened to the writer and the friend essentially is like that's just how things are what can you do like I feel like if another man stood up to what happened then things would be different and since he didn't stand up for you then nothing's going to change because this they're all company men and company men don't want things to change because all they care about is their own security and nothing else and doesn't care about what you went through doesn't care about the physical and mental anguish that that puts on you that's not what a friend does no this like if him being like that's just how academia is that he has the power to change like that's just he's he's sticking with the status quo like most of because it benefits him

like because like it's easier for him and in general like when men want to be like pioneers of like feminism they do really fucking well like they this is not like a oh no this man if this man calls out this other man he will be he will be like publicly shamed like he will get in so much trouble no that's what happens to women like that's what happens to women like men unfortunately like still hold that kind of power so to kind of be like well i think we just got to get used to it like but sorry to me is like i would be disgusted if a co-worker did this to me let alone a friend I'd be disgusted if a stranger like didn't say anything or do anything when they saw something going on. Again, let alone a fucking friend. And that to me is like, oh, you prioritize your job and your career and everything more than not only like friendships, but like also like your morals and like humanity. and like I don't know I really hate this whole like well like you shouldn't like that's kind of

like how this how this field works and I would have preferred if he was like shocked by this and like was like oh my gosh I can't believe this is happening to me I'm like okay that's like ignorant and naive that you're like unaware of these kinds of dynamics happening but I'm like okay so you got into this work all the while knowing that people like you men are perpetrating this kind of abuse in the workplace and you're kind of just like well that's just kind of is what it is i'm like so then what you didn't you didn't start in this job to like create a change or like be like i'm not gonna be like i'm going to be better and like you're just you're just you were consciously aware of the status quo and knew going into it i'm just gonna upkeep it i know it's

bad but i'm just gonna upkeep it as opposed to even like yeah pretending to be shocked by this thing or like turning a blind eye it's like no i fully recognize the thing is happening and i'm gonna do absolutely nothing to stop it because this is just how it is and like sucks but like not really that much huh let's try to make i'm sure there's like women's group of women in academia that you can find and meet up with and can share stories and i'm not saying that you need to be like the change that you want to see but like i'm sure there are other people that would be on your side and would make better friends actual friends yeah and i also think you need to remove like the discussions of like your mental health and like you're in a much better place now

like it feels like you're putting some blame on you of being like oh we couldn't be friends because i was in a poor mental health state well duh like from what you told us that's a cause and effect like of course and then to be like okay well i'm you know i'm doing a lot better and so maybe now we can be friends if someone can't you know you're saying that he was there for you when you were going through like a really poor mental health time and now that you're doing better you like you know also want to continue that friendship i think you're viewing that as a as a burden and like that as something that was like really hard for him to do when he couldn't even stand up for you in the workplace yeah so let's get let's find a new friend i know it sucks when somebody that

you trusted betrays your trust then you can't you you do miss them but like at the end of the day he's not your actual friend a real friend shows up in the middle of the night and searches your car and searches your car a real friend would have been with you yeah a real friend would have been with you during these tough times and wouldn't have got quote-unquote tired of you and, like, listening to you talk about it and knew what you were going through and was just like, eh. Yeah, also would have used their privilege.

Yes. Fucking insane. So, yeah, don't reach out to him. But I wholeheartedly understand and know the feeling of missing friends because you're romanticizing the friendship for what it was, not what it is,

and, like, ignoring the reason why you're not friends anymore. so it's a tough thing to deal with but ultimately like the demise of that if that person hasn't learned anything if that if they haven't if the change hasn't come from them reaching out to them hoping that they've changed is useless if they have changed they will let you know all right we're gonna take a break when we get back let's talk about the sexiest man alive we're back and guess who's not the sexiest man alive blake shelton guess who's also not adam levine it's actually in fact the people's princess oh my gosh like they got it right so

right that this is somebody that men and women alike lust after this is somebody who seemingly happily married woman is hanging down on a red carpet even though he has no sexual attraction towards her. Nope.

And he's our first openly gay sexiest man alive. Mm-hmm. Allegedly. Fiero. What's his character in Bridgerton?

Lord Anthony from Bridgerton. King Eater himself. Sexy, sexy man. Slutty little glasses. The scientist from the new Jurassic Park movie. also he played an instrument in the jurassic park soundtrack he played a clarinet i believe

i think it was a wind i think you're right i used to play clarinet thank you for getting it right it's just we have to say his real name oh sorry she moves on she goes you got enough of it you understand who we're talking about you know who we're talking about who we're talking about is jonathan bailey he is officially people's sexiest man alive his inner by the way he's leaning into it so hard in his like in the in the like the little video behind the scenes like his like cheeky over the shoulder look and i'm like thank god like i i love this this is so much better than like what i view as the humiliation ritual of blake shelton where blake shelton is like i can't believe i got this but like i'm still doing this and i'm like why are we i don't i don't even want

talk about that man no and like we got a beautiful back in the beautiful list we got good outfit but we got like we got like hot outfits even the one he's eating that popsicle i was like thank you like thank you and like we have someone who is like i'm i i'm loving this and like when they how do you think your life's gonna change she's like laughing he was like i think my friends are gonna make fun of me all the time like that's but I just I loved it I was so relieved like finally finally finally was he on our list of who we said we said a couple I think last year when it came out I think we said it should he should have been on that on at least a short list yeah my picks have been or I would say my current picks if you would ask me before this came out

would have been Jonathan Bailey Pedro Pascal and uh Coleman Domingo those would have been like my top three and I'll add in Manny Jacinto that's shocking I also would have added in who's my guy Tillman from that one movie but he's actually more famous than that Trammell Tillman he's very handsome too yeah I'm sure Aaron Pierre was up there too oh totally oh also the um I prefer kelvin though from the lion king movie so he would have been higher on my list oh you know who i would kill for oh my god it would have been so funny he would have done it too and he would have been hilarious zach fox oh my i love that man i don't think you understand i don't think he's known enough but not just being funny he's smart he cares about the people

he's hot he's musical like that man he's perfect is the perfect man which is why it's so ironic that they have him as like an absolute idiot on abbott like but still somehow you love him like you still love him he's so charming do you want to do an update i could do an update This is from the original caller. Their friend did a hate crime. Former friend, I should say, did a hate crime. And they're giving us an update to that because that friend had wanted them to write a little letter. A character letter. Uh-huh. Not the job reference that they said it was. Nope.

hi megan and melissa thank you for the reassurance and advice i'm the caller who had the friend who committed a hate crime and wanted to answer the few questions you had i privately wrote more details of the crime in the text field of the form i will clarify that it was racially motivated and i had said she had done it alone because what she initially told me was that her ex entered a jail so i had assumed he was involved in the situation maybe he's the one who id'd her in security footage but based on her tone i was not expecting it to be completely unrelated to the relationship okay so next i'm so sorry for forgetting the warning on that explicit message i was like gagging as i was saying it because i don't talk or joke like that at all i'm going to

provide the context for that but i want to emphasize that i know it's super weird still i'm scared about three years ago i had matched with the boyfriend she was referring to in that texts which she sent about a year and a half ago. He had matched with another one of her friends too by the way but I believe her intention was to be like every time he does xyz to me it should be you. But it grossed me out because I had exchanged like four neutral messages with this man and at the time had even shared with her that I felt zero physical attraction. Also I was already in a long term relationship with my current partner when she sent that. It's not the first time she has send explicit messages but I had perceived them as just oversharing and not having boundaries

but that one in particular really put me off and this is now in the period where we're not even close anymore. My therapist had tied that together with other patterns she picked up on to come up with her theory. I don't know that I believe it but as you said it's ultimately irrelevant to what she's done it just added to all my emotions that week. You guys were right about if I examined our prior friendship closer the subtle digs from the past would become more clear to me. I know she was probably always this person and just hid most of it. She had never indicated to me that she was bigoted in any way. I am very outspoken left and she has presented herself the same way. Our 10-year friendship really started when she helped me break up with an abusive ex

and helped me with a fallout. A situation she now mocks just to hurt me. We had been a support system for each other and she often said I was like a mom to her and she looked up to me. so for me the current version of her is a 180 for her to have so much hate you're also right that my boyfriend deeply hates this woman and said he was just waiting for me to give up on her returning to how she was like obviously it's bigoted it's also just like losery but like that's such a weird that that's like middle school boy like like yeah like the the kind like edge lord shit of like trying to be like tough that's i never even yeah wow wow wow wow i have to say the context uh really didn't help me at all it helped me to see

what what she did still don't understand why she's a loser no but like the sexual message part like that to me that part i thought you meant the hate card part no no the hate card helps i'm glad i'm glad we know we privately now know what it was um but the sexual message part the context no doesn't clear up anything no stand with your therapist she's in love with you yes and i think that like you're saying that you have like examined this but like it does still feel like a 180 to you i think that i think to me the clearest aspect that you there's more for you to unpack is the fact that you think the context adds truly anything like it is it is like so it feels like entirely unrelated to it like it's there is no okay step one step z like there is there is no

through line to this or connection so to me i'm like okay yeah that i feel like it's you're still you know maybe has not examined the aspects of it further and like even your boyfriend being like I was just waiting for her to kind of like go back to how she always was. The biggest key to me, though, is you saying that like she was like really there for you getting out of an abusive relationship. I think you need to start viewing this less as like friendship wise and like more so as people who get into other abusive relationships while escaping an abusive relationship because people people prey on that and like see that vulnerability and like are able to like be the knight in shining armor and like save you and do all of this kind of stuff.

when in reality that's just being used as another abuse tactic and then it ends up in that way and you're like well how of course not this person couldn't do this because like they helped me through this they know this this isn't like a they know that this would be hurtful to anyone but especially to me like this to me like that feels like an opportunistic friendship that like it manipulative yeah and then her saying that you're like a mom to her when y'all are basically the same age is weird that's so weird weird yeah weird behavior but like saying that you're a mom to her but also saying that she wants to uh-huh yeah don't say it but yeah coming your mouth i just don't i don't see how the two are correlate with each other i don't see that what's her

relationship with her mother that was my follow-up question yeah this to me is like it feels like a 180 to you maybe even because like you're in therapy now like you have like a boyfriend who seems to be grounded in reality like you have like these other grounding forces in your life that like show you like oh her behavior actually is not normal and like maybe has never been normal but this is just so far off the scale for her already like wonky fucking behavior scale that it's undeniable at this point but like i just there's no there's just like no way that she has not been this is like even like matt like not just like mask off for like who she is how she is or whatever but to me like the constant lying about stuff or like the withholding information

manipulating information be like oh my boyfriend my ex-boyfriend got me into like that was all of that kind of stuff how easy some people are able just to like lie then i'm then i start questioning the interactions that i thought were normal then i started questioning the other stuff that seemed like very like run of the mill because i'm like if you're so comfortable and it's so easy for you to like quickly lie like that without like raising flags and especially when it's something that you lie about that is like going to be found out that's when i wonder how much of you has ever been truthful yeah but good riddance to this friendship i'm so sorry that you had to go through that i'm also you know i also feel you of like missing a friendship with somebody that

you were incredibly close to and incredibly vulnerable but this bitch isn't it i'm shocked i didn't obviously like any categorization of hate crime is bad but i don't know what like i was still shocked to see or even just to hear what this person but yeah i was like racially because i was like i was trying to find a loophole in my mind i was like can arson be a hate crime like but no no no this is just a old-fashioned hate crime and speechless all right we're going to take a break and when we come back we're going to talk about the incredible tuesday that we just had god bless america all right we're back and we're going to talk about i mean the last year has been very difficult

it has been like wake me up from this nightmare that we already woke up from why are we back here it's like the worst day travel you've ever experienced yeah that's how i felt it's like groundhog day in a horror movie where you're like i already did this can we not do it again and now it's 20 times worse than it was before yep and it feels like you're having the same conversations because like okay this was the consequence of this action and everyone there's a collective amnesia and everyone's angry and you're like what is going on yeah so you know everything's pretty much sad to historic lows but on tuesday the american people delivered an unmistakable message the tide is turning hopefully and so you know we all need

to stand together and keep this going all across the country democrats won big from the marquee races to the down ballot contest these weren't just moral boosting victories these were structurally significant wins that exceeded the blue wave signals of eight years ago so if we want to go Like, look at states. Abigail Spanberger in Virginia and Mikey Sherrill in New Jersey cruised to double-digit victories. And they also were roommates. And they were roommates? Yes. Wait, that's so cool. I did not hear that. Yes, and these margins were robust. They were powered by familiar, crucial base. The suburbs came back roaring. We can't rest on our laurels. Everybody has to get out and vote for everything. Counties that had shifted right just a year ago veered back to the left.

Spanberger's stunning performance in places like Prince William County, winning by nearly 34 points, is proof that our message is resonating where it matters the most. And the wave didn't just stop at the state lines. In Georgia, Democrats flipped two seats on the state's public service commission, the first non-federal statewide wins for a Democrat in almost two decades. And in Deep Red, Mississippi, we cracked the GOP's supermajority in the state Senate. These are the quiet wins, the ones that build long-term power. And here in California, voters passing Proposition 50. We secured five additional House seats before the 2026 midterms, a necessary strategic counter to the GOP's redistricting efforts, which now they're like, I'm going to sue California, then sue Texas.

This was done by the people. Texas was just done by the government. Yep. This is what the people wanted. Prop 50 passed in, and I can't stress to people who don't understand how major this is, if you watch reality TV, maybe you'll know how major it is. prop 50 passed in orange county that's how you know we we got those republican races saying now this is too far for me actually like yeah that is so fucking impressed it passed in like a other beach city and i'm like this is shocking to me yes i and in case you don't know what

prop 50 is it affects the united states as a whole because texas redistrict itself to take away seats away from counties that are majority black and brown and so our governor in california was like okay well let's counter that then let's do our own redistricting gerrymandering if you will but this will be the choice of the people not the choice of just the governor saying now we're doing this yep so i'm i'm thrilled thrilled that it passed i was optimistic but i was also like delusionally optimistic in the fucking election so i i was like okay maybe i don't have my echo chamber is comfortable but like maybe it is echoing much louder than i think it is i because of the way that you know i like to vote in person and so the the place where i went to

vote you couldn't park anywhere that's how many people were there and so i parked like i could i should have just walked from my place because that's how far away i had parked so that's comforting i would have i would have felt confident after that so so many people this was the only thing on our ballots this is the only thing people were voting on so therefore like yeah that's it i forgot that is it that's it and so um also for some reason my current address is not registering at the voter stuff so i have to go somewhere and do it because i was trying to change my address and she could not pull it up oh that's annoying yeah so um yeah that happened there's also like other historical things and i talked about what happened in virginia um also we also

have gazala hashmi who became the first muslim woman elected to a statewide office in the u.s we have uh mom donnie who who doesn't i mean there are people that don't love this man but people that agree with us who doesn't love this man um became the first uh muslim mayor of the largest city in the country new york and then also in major cities nationwide we saw progress Detroit City Council President Mary Sheffield became the city's first woman elected as mayor. She's also a Black woman. And then in Boston, Mayor Michelle Wu won a second term. So I think all these victories prove that women are shattering the glass ceilings and leading the comebacks across the political spectrum. And, you know, we got to keep pushing. And how do we

achieve this the through line in every single race from the moderate gubernatorial wins to the election of democratic socialist mayor-elect mamdani it was simple affordability people want to be able to pay for food and shelter voters went to the polls with deep worries about the stagnant economy and the high cost of living our candidates focused on kitchen table economics on driving down the cost of housing, food, and especially health care. We know that the refusal by the administration, the GOP, to negotiate on expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies is scaring people, and we spoke directly to that fear. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries was right when he said affordability was definitely the decisive issue, and while Republicans are already trying

to portray our victories as a choice between communism and common sense. We know that the real choice is between a party that ignores rising costs and a party that is actively fighting for bigger paychecks and lower bills for American families. We also saw promising shifts in voter demographics. Exit polls showed Democrats improve their margins with non-college educated voters. That is a critical data point signaling that our economic message is breaking through the noise and reaching the working class families we need to win. Republicans woke up this morning in to a shellacking as Senate Majority Leader Schumer put it. This should be a five alarm fire for them. They face serious challenges turning out low propensity Trump voters without him on the ballot.

as one GOP strategist warned they get all the damage with none of the benefits for us this is not a moment of celebration alone it's a moment for relentless focus we must use this renewed energy this hope to organize to register voters and to keep our eyes locked on the issues that won us these elections we must lean into the politics of solutions the politics of practical change and accountability so Tuesday we saw a clear vindication of our strategy now let's go to work and turn this turning point into a lasting majority in 2026 when we have the midterms I am I'm just like so relieved that finally we're we've stopped being the the party of uh trying to lead by example of like doing everything that's like okay well if if they're

gonna abuse the system we're gonna abuse it back to retroactively fix that like i i'm so glad like i saw even some people like some people who are not from the united states having criticism being like why are we supporting gerrymandering for the prop 50 like that's like you know that has like caused so many rigged elections in my home country that my you know and they do all that and everyone's like for sure so he's doing that already so this is undoing that and it was like well then just pass a law and i'm like who's gonna pass the law who they have it all like that's like you're the idea that this is like there is a right way to go about it has been like the democrats downfall for so long because it's like yeah there is a way by the books to do this that is like the most that

is how you're supposed to do it it's how democracy works right now not democracy not democracy you can't fight this with just well we should lead by example we should if they're going low we shouldn't we shouldn't stoop to their level no no sometimes i actually need you gavin newsom with your shovel and you actually dig under and go under and be like yeah and that's he's the perfect man for that but he's he's ready for that and i'm just i'm so happy and i've heard like other states are talking about was it pennsylvania talking about doing the same thing yeah and i'm like that is like yes like oh yes we can if you this is your game this is your rules we will do the same thing then we'll do the fucking same thing and it just makes me like so happy because

it feels like there's it feels like something to to do like it feels like there's something in general a lot of the time with this stuff like it can feel really hopeless and I have never felt more I yeah I just I haven't seen such a better sense of like community and like people wanting to show up and like wanting this kind of change and that's the stuff that threatens fascism and his presidency more than anything is like not only the wanting to do better but like showing up for that and community working together um and you know i'm trying to be cautiously optimistic but i'm being optimistic without a doubt me too me too because the other end it's not productive for my mental health no not at all and there's nothing to do then like if if it's if it's like

hey we're it is what it is then i'm like okay then i'm just stagnant in this like awful horrible sinking feeling that like that does nothing that doesn't prevent that thing from happening and it just makes me feel like shit yep so i'm shifting my mindset and you know i am i love this country because if i didn't love it then i wouldn't care so so that that is where i am right now yeah and this country is the people like it's just we're on a fucking floating rock on land that was stolen like this the the borders and like the parameters of like what that is but like i fundamentally like i care about like the people here and that the money i pay happily pay into my taxes is going to the people who need it and going to things that are important and the things

that matter and yeah it's just i yeah i feel a very strong sense of like i don't know if it's patriotism but like a sense of community with the american people and it's patriotism we should be reclaiming that yeah and like that's what that feels that's what it feels like and i'm like i'm getting that olympics feeling all over again where i'm just like we are we are here in this together though i will say i did have a i did have a wee bit of um a downward spiral when i realized that mandamni is a naturalized citizen and therefore uh he's born in uganda he cannot run for president that was um that was hard that was really that was a hard hill to swallow so but i think i don't know there's also i think something like really

inspiring and motivating about someone who cares so much about this like that this is the he can't run for president like and he cares this much it's not a lot of the time we'll see people use it as a stepping stone and you know a lot of people can have their qualms about um gavin newsom but like gavin newsom fucking loves california gavin newsom and like he and this country he wouldn't have done the gerrymandering he wouldn't have proposed prop 50 um if he did not love this country and people reading they go he just wants to be president i have known this man my he has existed in my world my entire life like he loves and has done so much for the state of california for us to be able to be at that spot where we have the financial aspects of this

to to know the kind of control that we have and so i'm just you know yeah i i think that i i think that this the next specifically the next generation of like younger politicians i think that it's going to be a lot of people with a a lot to prove and yeah and uh different ways of doing things so just thrilled about it also he's the first person montani's the first person to hold office uh who met their their wife on hinge i was like wait that's actually as far as we know no they reported it that's what they said you don't think like somebody else has done it and they just don't want to talk about it i think they've had different i think it's been a right there's been arrangements i don't think it was hinge i think there were less um i think there

were emails and i think there were phone calls and i think there were there were there were strings being pulled i don't know that it was an algorithm like that yeah so that's our episode that's our episode we hope you enjoyed i hope you got out there and was able to vote i am anxiously awaiting to see all of the uh influencers who threatened to move to florida if uh if cuomo didn't win i'm so excited to see uh that i would like to send my sincerest apologies to florida for that movement um it's florida oh for sure but like you know we we've got we've got we've got someone in florida but um yeah we hope you all enjoyed don't forget to write and call in if you need some advice and god bless america baby god bless america join us on thursday for

been on my watching. Bye. Bye-bye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.