Don't Blame Me! - My Friend Turned Off Their Location on My Birthday

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

But Am I Wrong: Melisa: I Take It Back, Riverboats are Better Than Cruise Ships (Battle of Montgomery) Meghan: New Content Creators Are Out of Control and Nobody Is Copying (Tay BeepBoop) But Are You Wrong: Disinviting Friend From a Concert Friend Disappeared On My Birthday But Are They Wrong Tarek El Mousa/Flip or Flop Luke Jones and Laura Bileskalne/Down Under Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome to another episode of but am i wrong and melissa are we ever wrong never ever ever ever ever ever ever not once have we ever been wrong we are in the guinness book of world records which sidebar i think we should get in there for something you know who shares your thoughts and feelings on this grace i i do think if we ask grace that she would be like fun time like it i don't know there's a lot but so who shares it gabe well that should have been my second guess because gabe and i share a lot and things that i had no idea i cared deeply about gave them brought it up and i said oh my god i actually now care very deeply about that and one of those that i think about a lot and i literally told months was gabe's fear of dying in a plane

crash and not being the most famous person on board and so they wouldn't be mentioned at the first of the headline maybe even not at all and i was like i had no idea that that's now one of my greatest fears so y'all share that they tried to get in with making you know when you used to put google on your hand and then rub it off they tried to make the biggest biggest ball of that but the guinness world of records said that they weren't interested but they would read it every year that it came out and see what they could do shut the fuck up i need to talk to them about this because that is actually the most mega experience that i've ever heard someone else having of being like i want to be in the guinness book of world records oh this other thing that i do that's a

fun sensory thing because i fucking loved doing that and then being like doing that oh you're actually not interested in this like that what do you mean other people are not obsessed with it well so if you have never listened before to give you a quick rundown like we said we are absolutely never wrong so what do you do when you're never wrong you start a podcast because that's what we do and we have three different segments we will explain each of them before we get into it but all you really have to know is it's ethical gossip it is non-toxic gmo free shit talking uh opinions if you're someone who has so many opinions that you're like i don't even know what to do with all of them it's like that photo of adele and then also taylor swift has one

of them like trying to hold all their grammys and they're just like i just have so many that's us with opinions but my name is megan my name's melissa together we're about to change your life better together we're like anyways so one of our favorite parts about this podcast is we we deem who we think was wrong in each situation but then we open it up for you listeners or viewers if you're on patreon you can watch us there too it's a fun time you can let us know if you agree who you think was wrong in the situation and we post those polls over on our instagram story and we usually do those on friday but before monday or maybe monday so you have to follow us it's like a very sneaky trick to get you to engage with that and they will be on each individual highlight as

well so you can you know make sure you click them all and vote and then we also like to get your feedback so if you why you agree or why you disagree if you have any personal experience with it or like you have your own thoughts and feelings and then we also read those aloud along with the results on our Friday episode called Fisting Friday and it's a great time and if you haven't listened last week's we had a pretty controversial one about concerts so we did and then we went tomorrow which was from one from last week you know it's whole time space continuum thing sounds about right all right are you ready to get into but am i wrong for this sleep i am so ready who is first me melissa is first because i know you're

gonna you know you've got stuff to get into so but am i wrong is our first segment and this is where we either pitch a situation that's happened in our life recently or maybe in the past where we're like was i wrong in this situation or we do hot takes as well as lukewarm takes or a rant something we have to get off of our chest that we feel strongly about i today have i guess a rant i don't know first i'd like to issue an apology though for the second week in a row now this the last week was for don't blame me but this is for this week i like to issue an apology i know um a couple weeks ago you said that like you had your whole rant about cruise ships and then someone wrote in and said that like riverboats are better and you know what i have to agree

flawless setup and delivery oh my god i knew melissa the way you told that i forgot i already knew what we were talking about but i forgot you transported me and then i came right back around to where i started gold star i'm giving you an e-got for that thank you thank you so much uh i like to thank myself um so you know riverboats they go down the river they're big there's lots of laughter and fun on it and you know this week i would like to specifically talk about the battle of montgomery aka the montgomery sweet tea party aka cinco de negro uh so on august 5th in montgomery at the riverfront front a um it was at first reported a dock worker but he's actually part of the ship's what are they called crew i don't know i don't know yeah he's

a crew yeah crew member of the ship the big river boat was pulling up they needed to dock but they couldn't because this little platoon boat was in the way fitting name for this a platoon platoon and uh these fellas that own the boat apparently they do this all the time where they'll just park it and leave it they get in fights with the people that work there they also one year stole a golf cart that belonged to them that they to the uh riverboat people dot crew whatever it's called that they used to like transport disabled people or like the elderly to get on the boat they just stole it and left it at their hotel so these people white people love golf carts as a white person i do love golf carts like i also do love a golf cart but like they're just nuisances no

they're just nuisances just nuisance and so um because they wouldn't move they left their boat there walked away a man that worked there like who knows how to work boats tried to move it and they didn't like that very much so they came back and you know we've got the people on the riverboat are chanting and singing at first they were having a good old merry time there was some funky jazz playing the band on the boat was really jamming away but then because this little platoon wouldn't move then they started chanting ludacris's classic song move bitch get out the way and instead of the caucasian people moving the boat they decided to jump this black man who as part of the crew and was just trying to help it out so that these hundreds of people

that are on this very large riverboat can get off well well well so a few words were said the man turned his the cap he was wearing backwards and started to tussle and then one white person came two white person came people came he threw his hat in the air asked to signal that he was in distress that's the bad signal also he threw it like a i was like were you on an ultimate frisbee team like the wrist the snap of the wrist i was like get this man get this man on a team throw it in the air and from there well before we even get into that i just want i also want to give the the rich history of montgomery alabama um if you don't know the dock that they were pulling up to was a former slave port and also montgomery is one of the

pillars cities of the civil rights movement the montgomery bus boycott started there of course and right down the street of selma where there was a big march so yeah it's a mess it's all all the ancestors were right there and it was also on the the riverboat itself was called the harriet too i did not say that oh yeah so you know even the white captain of the riverboat was at first politely telling these people to move the boat and they were like no so then they started a tussling and he they when i jump in the truest form like he got jumped no no i'm saying like but specifically the man who initiated the jumping he he had to gain momentum from his legs leaping him off of the ground like the fact that he could look at himself in the mirror

and look at this man and said i've got this taken and i'm going you actually don't have this at all that's the caucasity of it all it is so at first you know this young 15 16 year old white worker he tried to come up and help and he got molly walked and he ran off but the that but then when the hat was flung in the air people ran swam skipped over to save this man i knew when i saw the skipping when i see the trio of black men that had taken off their shirts and they they were also working there they were workers there they took off their shirts and did a little skippity-doo and if if i see you know a shirt off and we're holding our pants as we're skipping that's not a frolic skip that's a shit's about to go down skip and then we had michael b phelps

jump in the water aka aquamane aka jermichael phelps you know he another 16 year old dove well i don't know if we're going to call that quite a dive i don't know if you saw it from the angle when he jumped in it was that time when jay-z and beyonce jumped off the boat and jay-z looked very chaotic in his jump body parts going everywhere but uh-huh there's there's so many different it's a run jump flail yeah it was a flail but he was he was looking he was like do i need to get in do i not he was like shuffling back and forth trying to figure it out and then like saw he was like i know how i 40 meters yeah jumped in and swam over so fast melissa we need to learn how to swim like that yes glided across the water there's photos his name is aaron there's photos

of him his parents like wrote out uh sent out a letter saying like we're proud of him for standing up they didn't drop his last name some people did find him on the internet but since his parents didn't share the last name i won't share it yeah but there's photos of him like on a treadmill not using a treadmill in the way it should be used he's using it as like a pool bar in the same manner that he lifted himself out of the water so he was training people are trying to get him a scholarship for any sport they're like what do you want to do whatever you can do anything triathlon like you fucking got it land sea yeah and i i saw some discourse of some uh white people that were like we don't know that this is a this is racially motivated we don't know if this is

like a black and white thing it is one we can't hear what these white men are saying yeah i know what they're saying two they're in the south and when you're from the south you know exactly even if somebody isn't saying the quiet part out loud you know exactly what's going through their mind three several people from this family were taken to the hospital and once they got to the hospital in Selma most of the staff were black and they called the police and said there's just a bunch of n-words here working and the police were like you can either get treated or go home and they went home another man owns a store called uh vassar mini mart it's like a grocery store i thought it was like a 7-eleven but it's like it's it's a mini it's a small smaller like

grocery store kind of like the size of like trader joe's okay you know but it's not like a full grocery store and he uh initially posted a video and said like i was just defending myself blah blah blah and the video that he posted was like minutes into the fight and not at the get-go when he was actually the first person that allegedly threw a punch and then people pointed that out and posted the actual video and from that he said i don't need you people's money i prefer the superior white dollars so yes this was racially motivated you know some people got hit over the head with chairs and like the late great luther vandross said a chair is still a chair even if no one is there as some people have been using the negro national anthem

and changing the words to lift every chair and swing the people that get it get it and so to all this i'd say i hope everybody that was involved all the white people that were involved in this fight i hope that when you listen to jason aldeans try that in a small town i hope you get ptsd when i was first doing my research on monday there weren't any arrests because initially people got arrested and then they were everybody was released because the cops the cops were there they were looking they didn't start making arrests until that one uncle hit a woman on the head which he did go a little too far with that but to that i also say potato potato you know fuck around and find them rosa parks you know they told her to get out of her seat to give it

to a white person and he was just returning the favor giving the chair back and so here we are that's what i call coming together we're so divided as a nation and i think that was a perfect example of coming together yeah person to person some people need to be put in their places sometimes violence is the answer sometimes violence is the answer like also like great john lewis said it's good trouble aka standing up to authority for what you believe in can get a little bit violent and you know there's been monday it was a great day i'm so glad that not glad because like i want to work for money but like i didn't have any podcasts on monday at all so this was my life on monday and my whole

fyp there was not one video that was not about this must say it felt like fire fest all over it felt like fire fest it felt like the submersible oh yeah everyone coming together the white allies you know making videos to talk shit on white people that didn't know what they were talking about every culture nominating people from their delegation saying that we accept this and then making peace offerings as well also like the parody videos that came out of this i love the one video it was posted to the instagram account that boy funny and it was a play-by-play of the things that happened they used the actual audio from the main video that everybody was watching with the woman it's like that boy he didn't got in the water swimming and

they made a parody video with black and white people coming together in comedy where they're doing a the everything that happened in the video but like with the wrestling moves and it's incredible and you know what that is that is an indie production no studio back that no and those are union allies i would like everyone to go look at it they're on wild and out so like they know what they're doing and so again to the person last week or a couple weeks ago that said that riverboats were superior I tip my hat rather throw my hat up at you thank you very much I would also love to shout out not wildin which is n-o-t-w-i-l-d-l-i-n on tiktok did a response to um a comment that someone had they did a tiktok basically saying hi i'm blind um and can

someone explain the video to me like i i can hear the it but the context of it accessibility wise and he explained everything in a way that i go where did you get your english degree like this is poetry it's beautiful like that posted on pinterest like just just the description of all of this like the art that has come out from all of this i can't scroll through without it i also just they think that like a lesson that i thought we all had learned from i think i was first told this when i was probably 10 you do not start a fight that you cannot win you don't jump in the fight no if you cannot win the fight you don't participate in the fight yeah but i do think they thought they were gonna win because it at one point was like six against one and that ego if

you could bottle that up and sell it big pharma would be on that like fucking crazy there's just something beautiful like i about watching i i love watching people who deserve to get their ass beat get their ass beat like i don't like watching wrestling i don't like watching any of that but i like watching race i don't like i i i like watching racists get their shit rocked like and you know true america i'm telling you right now like that's that is the patriot like true fucking american shit we do like salute but yeah like just bring brawling back i think a lot of things will get solved better brawling and some people don't understand your words and they need they need to have a knuckle sandwich and you tried the he tried the words he tried he tried

several times he tried and they didn't want to listen he was just doing his job yep very rarely do we get a moment where usually you have to wait for karma for a while like usually like you have to sit on your ass for a bit and like sometimes people forget and then you like you look back years later you go whatever came of that whatever happened and you see oh okay you know it worked itself out eventually but watching it play out in a short span of time that is a lesson you'll ever forget yeah yeah i want to see it in like an oil painting like those like i've seen people make them already fucking michelangelo like the last like i it's somebody has already created one i just i can't get over how the paintings the art that there's some chair earrings there's

a few songs already even shirley ralph was singing lift every chair and swing so those pipes yes it was beautiful martin luther king's daughter was posting about it like this was really a time it's really a time for america and i like it i like it a lot i loved it i absolutely loved it well thank you i'm so glad i've been looking forward to talking about this without us ever even touching base just knowing that even though we push the podcast recording a day i'm like i can't wait to talk about this yeah okay your turn so mine is the other one of three so last week my internet rabbit hole i went on was the book talk and uh then we have won that for my nomination which is one that I came into last night and it's a very problematic

one and so that bumped what was going to be my original nomination and I'm glad because I don't think this is worthy of a wrong of the week because I think this is I wouldn't even say this is a lesson this is more of a a public embarrassment that I need to rant about and this is my hot take my hot take is multiple pronged and my first prong is these new content creators and influencers are out of control and and we need to do something about it and the second prong is something that's going to be a little bit harder to swallow but i gave you the caveat that we're talking about specifically i'm i'm giving it mostly an influencer culture but i'm going to make a little bit of a broader stroke and that is the hot take that nobody's

copying you nobody thank you i was so hoping you were going to cover this nobody melissa don't worry i have the white people drama i have got it yeah i saw it yeah i saw it i was like megan's got this i'm like when you saw this when you saw the other you were like no as soon as i as soon as i because i was like where but i go and i go oh i'm fine melissa i i'll cover i've got the white people drama and that's why last week when i told you i was doing the book talk thing you go that's white people drama and i go okay i mean on because the videos that had reached me they were only white people and i didn't even know where it had until after i sent it and i was like oh this actually isn't i mean it kind of is no but it's but like content wise yeah yeah but um so i just

felt like my cup runneth over with what seeing the internet i go we have so much to talk about so nobody's copying you at all so if anyone hasn't seen um there's this creator i feel even stupid which is why everyone like pick your usernames accordingly tapee boop this is the tapee boop drama um and it's absolutely asinine and i say this as someone who like i have such a fucking individuality complex like i am a leo with an aquarius rising like i wore a tr at a school in middle school like rainbow thigh high toe socks like i cannot wear something that someone else is wearing like i need to be different like i i i am i have to be special like that is something i fucking strive for so the real truth of it is that no one's no one's actually copying you

rarely ever and i also say this as someone who there is one instance in my life where i was like this person is copying me and i wonder if once that you're going to remember because it does actually relate to something we were talking about earlier and this person i have never met and i stumbled upon it and they were copying me but here's the thing i didn't know this person this was like very irrelevant to my life and it is what it is was it weird would i probably not be friends with this person but yeah like i wouldn't do that but i think of this like it's like comedy there are collective thoughts so like when people come across like like oh you stole this joke from somebody else in certain aspects like we all have similar thought processes and

we've got all lead similar lives and so coming to the same conclusion or the same observation about the same life and worlds we all live in that's called a collective thought like that's not a a stealing of anything and i would also say pinterest is a collection of thoughts ideas in a visual format and a visual medium tiktok is an app of thoughts and ideas in a visual medium comma specifically video so when tay people went on and she made these diys and interior stuff from things that she saw on pinterest that actually does not mean that she owns them and other people cannot make them or do them at all the same whatsoever because you are just the one who transferred something else from somewhere else. But this really boils down to me for the

influencer aspect. If people are being influenced by you as an influencer, you are doing a good job at the job you are paid to do. It is that simple. But I also firmly believe if someone is legitimately copying you you don't have to do anything because it is so blatantly obvious that everybody else will do that work for you like if someone steals your intellectual property and something you've trademarked and something like like without a doubt but if we're talking like some bitch like stole would wear recreates all of your instagram photos and steals your outfits like that person looks like a fucking clown and like you don't need to say anything and like you don't even need to to care about it because everybody else was like this is fucking weird and how i found out this

person who i had never met was copying me was because someone who i know was like heads up this person is this is they came to me for a service that that you come to me for a service asking for the same thing oh yes yes and was like i knew they were yeah and they also pretended to know me and this person has known me for a long time and they were like megan has like three friends and you're not one of them like you're i don't know you like she doesn't if i don't know you she doesn't know you and i didn't have to do anything because that person was making themselves look like a fucking loser like it was like that was all there is to it and that's like a blatant copying sort of thing but if you have to explain deep dive about all this and you have to plead

your case to your audience of nearly two million followers to an about another content creator who has two million followers in the same niche where your crossover is exponential if none of them if not even none of them if hordes of them have not been like you're copying this person this is so blatantly obvious then maybe just maybe it's either a all in your head or b you are actually the one copying them or other people because screenshots have now come out that karen joy who is the contractor she accused of stealing had done all of these before her and she also didn't claim to create any of them because she also took inspiration karen took inspiration from things that she saw online you know other tiktoks uh pinterest and took inspiration for all of that

which these things all existed and tabie boop even takes suggestions from people in the comments telling her what to do it doesn't credit them and the funniest part to me is when she was like and she even has my wallpaper like that's my wallpaper i mean i sell that wallpaper and like and karen's like well it was like gifted to me and i like tagged you in it and it's not copying it's just reaching but my final thing i would say is i know that art is subjective and i know that everybody has their own taste and style but to get up there and lose your mind over someone who is also painting dinosaur heads and sticking them on the wall it is truly not that serious it is not that like your whole thing it's whimsy it's crazy it's fun it's like childhood references and all of that

stuff well actually maybe it's childhood referencing like you pulled my pigtail you look like it is literally like you're the antithesis you should live in a cold dark dusty room like where is your what is your fun you're angry about people diying you're proud that you're angry part of the why of the diy you go no don't do it yourself that's the thing about diy is like that's literally what you're supposed to do is do what the other person's doing but also that even the wallpaper is not an original thought did you see that it came from i don't even know what was it it was like some these vintage cakes yeah these vintage cakes have been trending and so like yeah like it it's just very of the time it's just a picture of those cakes on the wallpaper

two did you see that or three i guess did you see that bippity boppity booze uh best friend ex-roommate roommate uh-huh yeah and she was like oh by the way danny we should talk like she talks mad shit about you people are like that's mean and i go no you gotta say it like fucking say it also showed like everywhere that bippity boppity boo got their things from yep and also like their audience and i'm not i don't follow them i do i think i did follow danny for a while who's like their business partner and they like danny makes her own tiktoks and they just started like collaborating on things together and like tabby boops style is not my style danny's is very interesting because she like works with like she's not a perfect like she's like an interior

decorator so like she doesn't have like interior design we have to like do architecture for interior design whatever so she gets hired by like friends and like word of mouth to really like decorate and she does these like really cool and interesting things and like you know it's it's fun so as someone who has consumed danny's content which has had crossovers with tabi and i've seen some on my for you page I even only watching a handful of videos over the last couple of years never even crossed my mind that she thought that this was an original thought like it literally never crossed my mind and like her entire audience was like whoa you thought you made this up like no you think you actually there's no way you thought you made this up like that's actually

crazy and she knows that she didn't and it just blows my mind how people are so emboldened on the internet to to speak untruths so loudly so vehemently when they have lived their entire existence online like if you know you cannot win the argument if you know you cannot like land this plane sully fucking sully style don't get behind the wheel like save that for if you cannot win the fight do not even fucking start even even if you know that you're so no no no no because then you're getting fucking embarrassed like this but i will say i always had bad vibes when i saw how nice her when she like lived she lives in san francisco and did and was like had this gorgeous huge apartment that she was like doing all this too i was like this is too much where do you have

this money this is that's so much money that i go is this blood diamond money like what is how do you like it's so fucking expensive that i'm just like what are you not telling me because you're trying you're like let's bring back the childhood i go i would actually like to circle back to your 10 million dollar home how can we get there i've got some questions but um her wallpaper line got removed and then she issued a somewhat of an apology ish but some things are inside thoughts and you can stew on them but if someone is copying you and they're probably not you actually don't have to say anything unless it's something you trademarked and you licensed you know or not even that like that's yeah people have asked me like or like lying like green book like law tell me

about the lies like melissa why don't you like lean into like influencer stuff because i don't like people copying me like that's part of like that's literally in the world like yeah yes but like you should expect people are gonna be influenced by diy diy is not like the whole point of diy is to copy things but like it's called influencer for a reason because you influence people to do things like imagine just like declaring like hey i'm really good at my job and i'm mad at it and like this like fuck that and everyone's like oh my god that's so like that's actually like i can't think i'm racking my brain and i actually cannot think of anything more embarrassing right now like that's more and then she removed the video that

she like went for her went at her at and she'd already messaged her months ago and like asked her not to do any for diys and karen was like oh okay and i'm like that's so fucking out of pocket like if someone was copying me i would be like i'm not gonna say anything and i hope they keep doing it how they do it and then they're gonna fall so they're gonna build up and then they're gonna total crash and burn but if people are watching my content and watching their content also not even accusing her of copying karen then i go they're not even similar enough and it's not just youtube making these things mortifying mortifying we all live on the same tiktok and i just refuse to believe that tabie did not see that video that went viral a couple months ago

about a girl who was talking about how her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and she found out because this girl who like i mean she found out and then was like he got like a new girlfriend and she sees this girl's instagram and the girl is copying every single one of her outfit posts and instagram posts to the exact thing to the point where the girl's like she's wearing like a dress that i got like six years ago from forever 21 that she would have had to go find on poshmark to buy going to the same locations taking the same pictures with the same boyfriend who was taking her pictures who he was like he is same one and it like blew up and it was fucking crazy and then she dropped the nugget of whose son it is do you not know this

it is betsy devos's son the she's like the educated education yeah i know who she is yeah a billionaire and that is my bar for copying that is out in the world and if you don't have like someone in the republican party as like a factor in this and like a dramatic sort of thing Like, you don't have, like, there's not enough there. You don't have the comparison of that, but, like, you mean to tell me we're fighting over cereal bowls we've glued to the wall? Mm-hmm.

It is not that serious. Fruit Loops. Like, that couldn't be me. All right. Couldn't be me. It's wild. It's jealousy at the end of the day. When you see somebody do something

maybe better than you do. i'm not saying that that's what happened that just probably what she feels like that's yeah um so we're gonna take a break and when we get back we'll get into but are you and we're back from our break hi and it's time for but are you wrong and that's when y'all write in to but am i wrong pod at gmail.com and you share trials and tribulations that you may be going through and you want to know am i the hero or am i the villain when you write in let us know your ages your pronouns if you'd like and keep it to 300 words or less and uh give us pseudonyms for everyone anything else megan no i think you crushed it thanks here we go to the

first one hello i'm writing to get the most important opinions regarding whether or not i-24 would be wrong for disinviting my friend 24 to a concert i bought tickets to a show for my favorite artist earlier this year. I invited my friend to come with me, no charge. Of course, she accepted. She has asked several times for the date so that she can ask off from work. Recently, she asked again and then said she wasn't sure she would be able to get off since it's only a month out now. This is my vacation for the year. I was really excited for the show, but also to spend a few days with her now that we only see each other once a year due to distance. She's been on several vacations and weekend trips this year with her local friends, and I know she's had to ask off

for. I'm glad that she's been able to do these things, but I'm hurt that she's not extending the same energy for me. It's important to note that she has ADHD. I'm acknowledging that this may have something to do with time blindness and struggles with object permanence. But it's frustrating to me that my friend is not prioritizing something that I made clear was very exciting and important to me to do together. I've given outs by asking her if she still wants to go and if it's something she realistically can fit in her schedule. She just responds with, I'll let you know. I'd rather go alone than have her make a drive for only a few hours since it's clear at this point that we wouldn't be able to spend more time than that together would i be wrong to ask her not to come

if she's not like committing to this she said she was going but if she's not committing to not like she hasn't taken the days off then i would and you bought the tickets i mean you already bought the tickets you have both the tickets already and if she's already coming disrespecting of the time it is just it is disrespectful at the time but she's already coming maybe maybe she says i'll let you know well because my question is too you were excited you said we won't be able to spend more than that together and so you'd rather go alone than have her make the drive for only a few hours like i think she was going to come for the whole weekend and it's like kind of up in the air she might or might not but like at this point like you're

pissed at her and like even if she comes like you don't want her to come i don't think you'd be wrong because she hasn't solidified that she's actually coming yeah i i i wholeheartedly agree with that and like i i don't as someone with adhd crippling adhd this is an adhd thing to me this is like a like i'm very aware that like my own i'm i'm like so fucking acutely aware of like how what i do affects other people like i'm constantly feeling guilty over that that kind of stuff and so a lot of the time i will say no i say no to more things and that because i'm i could probably make it work but i'm so worried and convinced that i wouldn't be able to do it that i will undersell that as opposed to like over promise i will always under promise over

deliver usually and like it's just one of those things it's like you know it's it's being being aware of other people's time it's not like a time blindness thing like i'm not aware of time but like wasting other people's time like i'm acutely aware of that and this isn't like be there at 12 and then you arrive at 12 30 this is you've known for eight months you say you purchased some tickets earlier in the year you've known for months now that this was happening like it's not like something that's like you know this is a set time blah blah this is something that she just keeps putting off putting off and then not taking off a month in advance that's messed up yeah like my response to that what if i was her i would have been like i'm so sorry i'm the

fucking worst like i completely forgot to ask off from work like i would obviously like love to still like try and go but like i don't want to kind of like leave that up in the air for you so like if you can sell the ticket or you want to invite somebody else i totally understand like this was this is on me this is totally my bad but if you i i will do everything in my power to try and come but i can't guarantee that and i don't i don't want to leave you hanging until the last minute and like that's what i would say and this is also your vacation too yeah i've had friends like this where it's like they're in their mind people want them there like so badly that it's like well even if the chance they can be there like you know it'll drop everything and like they'll they can

come and it's just one of those things that like if you're gonna grace us with your presence i need to be excited to see you and that is not gonna work if you're like last minute all of this like it just doesn't revolve around you in that sense like people make plans and they anticipate and get excited for things like if you're a last minute person like that's okay but you can't you cannot make other people be last minute people if they're not especially because you're the one who's been invited like yeah yeah you're the plus one to this so i would disinvite her as well yeah and she can't be mad no it's like i'm going to i like wanted to go see Janelle Monae which is in October and so I just bought two tickets and I was just like

whoever wants to come can come and so I asked my cousin I was like do you like Janelle Monae she's like I love Janelle Monae so she's come well at first she was like I don't know if I'll be able to come because I might have to be working out of town and so it was like a few weeks like I was like hey are you coming blah blah and she's like I don't know yet I don't need it and then finally she's like i can come like that's how you do it if you don't know but like again i'm still a few months out not a month before it's messed up the follow-up question so it's like this isn't like a forgot about it it's like it's been on my mind but then i didn't do anything to follow through and that's another common thing with people with adhd like we're far more likely to fuck up our

lives and other people's lives like i am so much better reminding things for other people than i am for myself and i'm also a bitch so like this is coming from the bitch side of my brain not the neurodivergent side of the brain so that's it all right because i am still in my birthday month i am gonna pick one that's about birthdays okay i'm 23 and my best friend since beginning high school jane is 22 we also read our birthdays together and mine and my august 4th birthday hey megan just passed happy belated birthday after college i'm still living where i went to school but often drive home on weekends only a few hours away jane moved home but is moving to my city for work later this month jane's boyfriend of four months lives near our hometown so they

spend the summer together and will be long distance ish once she moves last month when i mentioned my birthday jane plainly responds about that i'll be on a cruise until august 2nd she continued to not acknowledge my birthday as it approaches on my birthday which i was expecting her to forget she texted me happy birthday again with zero inquiry about what i was doing i decided to celebrate the weekend before with my college friends who showed interest in celebrating and to drive home on my birthday to see my family she turned her location off since she left for the cruise so i didn't know where she was so i didn't know where the fuck she was and i didn't ask or tell her my whereabouts and she clearly wasn't interested that night she texted me about her

boyfriend indicating that they're together after i don't respond she must have checked my location and texted me again i didn't know you were home she then turned her location back on and i realized that her boyfriend was staying with her i knew that i know they would be long distance when she moves in a few weeks but am i wrong for thinking it's fuck that she intentionally avoided my birthday like the plague so that she wouldn't be obligated to partake in potential plans and could spend the whole weekend with her new boyfriend um it's your birthday and it's your birthday month so therefore i'm telling you you can absolutely do nothing wrong because you're a leo and we have the same birthday um but you are a little wrong like okay so i don't think

you're that wrong like i think that like she's wrong at all because i think if it's your best friend then she knows there is no guesswork of in like anticipating like you know how your best friend feels about the birthday you know like this kind of like history and back and forth together with you i think them i would do your absolute best to not make this like about like this isn't about your birthday but i think you're right like in a sense like this is about her boyfriend and this is about like some of those people when they get into new relationships like it just becomes they're everything and i think for someone to do it on your birthday when they like know and they care about you but all of that kind of stuff that like it's like an extra kind of big slap in

the face because some people get like caught up in their relationships and i think if like you weren't friends for so long which is like why i was starting saying i think you're probably wrong but like if you haven't been friends for so long it's kind of hard to know what someone wants and feels about like you know birthdays or plans but like i think the turning off the location is i don't like that well no it didn't make sense to me until you said that like she was like oh you're home and so that makes me believe how you wrote that and she was actually home and she's not on like the cruise but she wasn't the cruise ends the day today oh but she's now okay so she that's the thing it's like the friend was like i'm gonna be on this cruise for

and to the second but the callers or the writer's boyfriend isn't to the fourth which was a friday so like she had time to prepare for the birthday party and so she's home yes and since the friend didn't show any interest in it she decided to celebrate her birthday in the week before with her college friends because her friend didn't want to do anything for her birthday oh in my mind these are she was on a cruise the whole time no she's literally home that's actually that's so this is fucked up and it's also like safety wise i need you to have your locations on at all time if you're going on a cruise especially some guy you've been dating for four months yeah for four months uh-uh uh-uh no this is messed up no this is very fucked i would

be i'd be livid i'd be so mad and also premeditated it shouldn't be like oh about that it should be like hey i booked this cruise like for your birth like the week of your birthday just so you know let me know what you want to do like the next like it didn't have to be like if you knew you might have been coming home from the cruising you might be tired and you might not want to do something like that week didn't say like hey i want to do something for your birthday but i don't think i'll be up to it on the fourth can we do this like can we do something later i understand if you want to do something else with other people i also look at me completely pivoting now that i understand the timeline i also would be like low-key pissed if my friend that i

celebrated my birthday with all the time booked a cruise on my birthday like if it was like hey my boyfriend booked this and like i just want to let you know but like it shouldn't be like hey by the way this should have been done like when you knew the cruise days you should have said check out yes is it cool like are like i've done that for you i was like what what are you doing you've said it to me like what are you doing for your birthday so we can you know do things around this and like it's it's just one of those things that it's like you've been doing this for a like a long time in that sense and so it's like okay you're planning the cruise ahead you also plan birthdays ahead so like if if you're going even if someone else didn't book it and you're the one

who booked it fucking common courtesy to give someone a heads up far fucking ahead of time and then because you've changed the plan to then offer a how am i gonna make like what if we did this or would this other weekend work to like show that like you're not you're not choosing to only use exactly what i'm saying the proactive part of your brain is only used for your romantic relationship and then you the friendship just gets scraps like crumbs like clearly she has the foresight to plan you want a whole fucking cruise and the premeditated of turning the location off because in my mind i was like oh well you're on a cruise maybe it's international waters maybe it's not going through but like she's already home with her smelly boyfriend i don't even know him

but i know he smells also you're not wrong no you're literally not wrong at all this is like a confrontation like this is like a we're not moving past this until we have a conversation about it and i would bring up not to give you advice but i'm doing it when you do these kinds of conversations i people get really fucking testy if you like it can be about the relationship and it's about because she's obsessed the relationship but you do not need to say that like the second you do that like people will be like oh my god i'm so defensive of this like you're just like i just have this people become like they literally think they're like a ya novel when they have a boyfriend like it's like it can become like oh my god no nobody understands like we're star-crossed

lovers like this is so hard like no but it's literally been like i just like don't feel like you've been a great friend and that like really sucked and addressing like what she's doing in the friendship not where you think and what we all think where that's coming from or what the variable that has changed that has been the uh the catalyst for this shift in her attentiveness the friendship there is no need to bring any of that just address the the problem not not what you think caused we all know what caused the problem but like and how she's making you feel and what her behavior and actions are doing and some people will just be like so like do you just think i'm like hey my boyfriend too much it's like i didn't say that like this is just i don't i

don't think you have to choose but i i think that you know you could be around for my birthday and like you know but the location thing is and i can't believe she turned it on like right then that's i would have just kept it off and then be something like can you see my location like this is so fucking weird like i was trying to say like is it working and then being like playing dumb but like you're gonna be shady and a bitch and then just like with a smile and you're like not even we're not scheming at all they're angry yeah the scheming is done i'm pissed and i'm so sorry that i got confused at the beginning and thought you were wrong i am math is also not my strong suit and i thought in my mind the blanks i filled in she was in the caribbean and she didn't

have service on your birthday and there was a large time change and that's not what happened at all no it was like a specific thing of turning off your location yeah ew you know what i did when i got to when i landed when i was on vacation i turned my locations on she sends me her location and goes in case i die if you don't hear from me and i come up missing this is like you don't go on vacation turn your i was literally when you did that it was like on my to-do list of like get melissa's location while she's gone yeah like i get an uber i send you my location like it's not huh all right now we're gonna take another break and we are back and it's time for our final segment and this segment is called what are

they wrong where we nominate someone in pop culture the news something in the zeitgeist zeitgeist zeit zeit i can't say it again i'm guys i'm gonna say it weird that we think deserves tomatoes sometimes they're serious sometimes they're laughing at we're laughing at them other times we would like to send them uh to jail but sometimes we would like to send them to the guillotine and those are mine all right so this week i'm nominating tarik or tarik el musa don't know the proper pronunciation he is the star of hgtv's flip or flop and it seems like he's doing a little flopping in north hollywood i think that was a good one that was that was great thank you so renters the residents of north hollywood are accusing him of evicting them

from their rent control department units to build a new 138 unit complex one woman named kathy said that this has been my home for a long time she's lived there for over 40 years and she's very comfortable she and her neighbors in the units received an eviction notice shortly after mr flip or flop announced that he was doing his biggest flip ever the tenants were hoping that meant that their complex surrounded by some new with like some other complexes would like get renovated they just thought it was going to get renovated not knocked down and now they're being order to move out so there are also a ton of empty lots around them too so they don't understand why that he's building him and the group that's doing it are building on prop or knocking down their

property it's not actually their property but knocking down the property that they live in but that's their home and and i believe if somebody has lived somewhere for 40 years just give them the place like they've paid the mortgage literally multiple times over at this point so dead deadline is i'm not gonna say anything negative about them because i want them to write positive things about me but deadline posted an article that made it seem well that put mr flip or flop in a positive light and the people in the comments went off so mr flipper flop claims to have no connection with the current owner who faces up to 80 years in prison for his crimes against the tenants but el musa conveniently fails to mention that

the brother is the architect the brother of the current owner is an architect on this new product so this is just predatory behavior he's also limited the comments on his instagram and then somebody who you know an instigator in the comments also said why doesn't he and his partner guarantee the low income units they're building to the current tenants and then someone said none of them are paying rent and haven't in years sounds like a terrible idea and then someone else responded they're withholding rent it's a common practice in the state of california to withhold rent and put it in an escrow account until the landlord completes repairs and has shown it to be negligent so these people are just knocking down this house for tv content so like

i saw this like booth on the ground someone posted in the ask los angeles subreddit of being like hey does anyone know what we can do like we're figuring this out and it was like people were figuring out and making these so he like this person made a bunch of these connections and was like what do i do and people are like oh my gosh like i've heard about like reach out reach out and then when it got posted like the subreddit was like one of our own take him down i was like this is wild and the part that i don't think anyone is focusing enough on is the current landlord his crimes are these people are are finally starting to like they could take a breath they could be like oh okay you know and then it goes no no not on tarik's watch

he goes don't get too comfortable now that this is this person's going to jail uh now i'm gonna fuck it up for you even more is fucking crazy did you see what the crimes he committed ready and he also paid a separate individual a sum of a few hundred dollars to set a fire in a vacant unit in the apartment complex to try and drive out the tenants set fire to the apartments in the building vacant ones that they live because he's not making repairs and he's like but i want you to leave so like i'm gonna set fire to these empty ones so messed up who accepted a couple hundred dollars said know your worth probably somebody that just really needed the money that's what i like it had to be and it's awful yeah so the arson plot was allegedly

aim to displace tenants and enable the demolition of the building and to redevelop it for Terakalmosa. Yeah. So. And the architect is this guy's brother. Uh-huh. So they're all

conspiring together. It's like we're still keeping it in the family. He's married to one of the girls from Selling Sunset. And I'm like, do you think this is going to be a miniseries? Like, what are you doing? Well. I hope they all get put i hate cops but like i do believe in prison here's the thing unless i i are the people that

because it's not fair the way that the prison system is set up right now it's not fair to everyone if we had a fair and just prison system where the people that deserve to be in jail should be in jail i would be all for it and these people deserve to be in jail and i also have very different feelings about i think white people should be sent to jail for misdemeanors like i just think like we we we have to shift that we have to shift it and in order to do that we need to disproportionately be in jail and we need to start that or if it was just fair totally no i know but i just at this i'm like people go for people go to jail for absolutely nothing and no know this is if we're gonna go then you should be there sir mine also has to do with reality

television and i would like to already know where this is going to i want to issue a huge trigger warning for this i personally skipped watching uh a lot of his video because i have been and i know so many people who have been in this situation and i've also been in this situation and it's like very traumatizing and triggering so i'm going to talk about it but not in uh extreme detail and if you're gonna watch the clips like this is on bravo but bravo did not issue like a content or trigger warning so like i saw this on twitter but for people who are watching like that would been a huge fucking jump scare for me about like how quickly this turned into something that you have no idea that's gonna happen and it's reality it's not scripted so therefore like it's i think

that that deserves a uh i don't know why for some reason people don't put trigger warnings in like that kind of like sometimes like scripted stuff but like this i'm like okay this is like a real life thing i would like to nominate two crew members from uh below deck down under and that is uh luke jones we'll start with him so um if anyone hasn't watched it's a fantastic show the below deck franchise and they went out as they do these are people who work on these massive yachts and they party they go out they drink they have fun and it's camera crews obviously and so they're all going out drinking and they're all getting very drunk and one of the girls is like you know very drunk and how the hierarchy kind of works on these boats of people are not ships

sorry sorry not a boat but so the like head stewardess first two i think is what she's called her name's asia she was kind of like making sure everyone's okay like you're kind of the you're not like you're relatively similar in age you might be a little bit older than the people but like all young people but you know keeping tabs and she notices that um one of the girls margo is like very drunk and one of the guys is like flirting with her and she's like okay no she's really drunk like we're just gonna put her straight to bed and the guy's kind of like god is like passed out no no so this is before this is way before this and so while they're all out together and like margo is visibly drunk she's kind of having like asia's kind of having

to tell luke like back off she's super drunk and it raised these red flags in her because he just kind of wouldn't leave her alone and that's part of the reason why she like crew's crew was kind of like tuned into this as well as because she kept verbalizing that that like he had his sights set on her from the time that they were all out together so margo goes to bed and then the power ends up going out and she's like passed out totally asleep the power goes out and the camera sees luke with this look of excitement and he looks at the camera and then bolts into margo's room and the producer immediately goes like nope nope get out of there she's sleeping get out get out and he slams the door in the producer's face and the producer's like oh whoa no opens it again

they're like fighting with this door trying and then he gets in there finally the producer is able to get in he's saying like no no no she's sleeping leave her alone leave her alone leave her alone and it goes from being like oh like okay man knock it off to being like get out of her room and gets in there and they pull him out and he has gotten into her bed and he is now naked and he's pretending now that he's so drunk that he's like i don't even know is putting on a show when he was literally not that drunk seconds before and it's all on camera they kick him back to his room asia like finds like she sees this and she doesn't is freaking out and can't even really tell margo's like so drunk and like asleep and can't even really explain to her what's going on

but it's like i'm not comfortable with you being in by yourself so she gets in her bed and like stays there and production makes sure that he doesn't come back and he goes back to his room and passes out and then kind of tries to pretend that like he doesn't even know what happened he's just like so drunk and like so tired but then he like gets hella fucking pissed off and is like fighting and yelling and talking to one of the girls about it and it's just like and sounds very sober now so we've bounced back and forth to i'm so drunk i'm doing what i'm doing so like i'm fighting and now i'm sober and i'm pissed as fuck and now i'm going back into bed so asia had i guess opened up and i have i haven't watched this um iteration of below deck

or the ones that she's been on but i guess uh season one that she was on she had opened up about how she had been raped at a party when she was drunk and so she's feeling like very triggered by the situation and being like this is not safe goes to tell the captain captain is like is she okay did anything happen she's like no like nothing but like this happened and like a lot of people are saying like oh my gosh think of like what could have happened i was like this is violating like as it like this is a problem and like it didn't go farther than that but harm wasn't avoided like this was all still harmful the captain goes into luke's uh bunk wakes him up luke is like what's going on again pretending and he's like you're staying in a hotel you can get out stay

in the hotel he's like i don't even know what what's what happened like what do you mean has him stay in a hotel and then the next morning tells the crew that he's gonna be fired and they're all gonna be essentially sequestered to one room he is going to be taken around with a producer and he's gonna have like essentially a handler to pack like he has to pack his stuff but not saying goodbye to anyone no one is gonna have any contact with him and he's sent off the boat Then, where we have Laura step in, and just when you think, like, this guy's off the boat, thank God, we have Laura step in, who says, can we say goodbye to him? And everyone's like, no, you cannot say goodbye to him. She then confronts Margo, saying that she just feels

so bad for Luke, and is like, this is so not fair to him, and, like, he didn't even get a warning, and, like, he's just a sexual person, like, I'm a sexual person, you're a sexual person, like, he wasn't gonna like he wasn't like gonna rape you or anything and marco's there like uh like feeling uncomfortable and also like she's just victim blaming saying like well you must have done something like you know you didn't shut him down like he felt comfortable doing that like he wouldn't have done that if he didn't feel comfortable and so she's over here going like uh which i just have to say like big fucking kudos to asia for this is relatively early on i think in the season um or the charter of this at all it's like create a a community in the sense

of like your workplace that there are cameras there so people already feel uncomfortable and like might not do like you know might not feel comfortable speaking up about things but has made so made sure everyone feels so comfortable that like you know margo then goes to her and tells her like it's really laura's like saying all this stuff and margo's like i mean and asia's like she's saying what and then laura says i wish he would have come into my room i wouldn't have kicked him out like i would have loved that and she's like what the fuck so then i guess this is blowing up on twitter so me and a lot of other people are seeing this without necessary context so it then turns out that uh part of the catalyst and reason of her defending luke which i guess he

had rejected her before and she was like if only he hadn't rejected me like i wouldn't have kicked him out he could still have a job like all of this shit she did this to a different cast member who had then he felt uncomfortable but again felt comfortable enough to tell the first like the heads to the first do tell asia like she's making me uncomfortable but like i don't want to make i don't want to embarrass her and make her feel bad and she was like no i don't know like you've said no and i'm not comfortable with how she's treating you and i need her like this is not okay then goes and tells the captain and the captain is like okay cool gets Laura and it is like Laura lies and he's like so I heard like what did you say to Margo and she was like I just like pulled

her aside and like told her I was like really sorry that it happened like and asked her how she was doing and he was like yeah no that's actually not what you did and goes off and she's like well can I have a warning and he's like no you you're off the charter like you're done this is like we have boundaries here and not only are you like not so you are you're going against what i as the captain have requested and like i am laying out these boundaries but like also like your crew members and like people who you're working with like that's not okay and she's like well i disagree and he goes that's okay and sends her off packing and she's bitching the whole fucking time swearing and all of this and it was uh wild to fucking watch it's so sad that it is

such a refreshing version of this to see on television because we've seen this so many times i i've i've gone through this i have friends who have gone through this like i know more people more women who have gone through this and who have not and this is very rarely the outcome in real life and it's even more rare to have this outcome play on tv like it just people aren't protected in real life and people really aren't fucking protected on television and to see this happen and to see not only like crew members like step up but production and knowing that the reason why they step up is because they have to because they haven't done times before it's very depressing to know that like this isn't uh a first time thing like this is the reason again the reason why

they stepped up and the reason why they had the protocol at this point is because they've needed to in the past um but it's better than not having done it and it feels like a lot of times the same things are happening over and over again and nothing is changing um and to see this change And then for them to choose to air it instead of burying it and not talking about it and not sharing any of it, which has happened on so many fucking shows. I really hope that this has other reality networks like follow suit in the sense that like now we have an example of how how productions should handle this. and it it hopefully other ones will follow along and set up things in place so these things maybe can't get to this point i just i want to highlight too that like what you brought up but just like highlight that like laura also went after a man and that rejected her numerous times and she just

kept like he kept saying no and she just kept going after him and she was not taking no for answer hopped in his bed too and like he was also like he was not passed out he was also very drunk but like part of the reason why like the reports on like sexual assault and harassment against men it's like this like concept that men have to be so macho but then also have to take care of women's feelings and like be kind and sweet and so he's in a position where he's it happens with women too but like in the and like how can i react to not make this worse and that was like what he kept saying is like i don't want to i don't want to embarrass her and it was like her embarrassment has like nothing to do with your comfort like she's crossing your boundaries in lines like

all that she's crossing the physical boundaries like she's climbing on top of you and doing like this is wildly inappropriate as well and it made a lot of sense when i saw that why she was going so hard for him because she did the same thing basically the good news out of this was that like you know asia kept checking in on margo and she was like i'm like okay she's like i've never felt like care and support like this ever and like the chef like made her like a comfort meal and all of this and it was really nice to see especially in reality tv we see a lot of like women fighting with each other and it was like really nice to see a sisterhood like that and in my experience that is not how my situation went down at all and like knowing how much like

obviously she went through so much but knowing that like having someone there like on your side from like the start and like having those people in that community and support makes going through that a lot easier and that's also why asia understands that from like her own experience too so wilds wilds all right if you if you would like to listen to this episode ad free and you're like i would love to join the patreon but like i don't have time to sit down and watch episodes well you're in luck now you can listen to them so if you join our patreon you can now listen to all episodes at well not all episodes all new episodes ad free with spotify so you get a special spotify feed that has our that has don't blame me and but am i wrong sorry the bonus episodes you

still gotta listen to that anything light you'd like i was gonna say i did screenshot something light to share where is it and i have a teen lost a ring containing her father's ashes so city workers dug through four tons of trash to find it that's very kind that is very kind thank you megan i did so much i found it on instagram still found it anyways all right we hope you enjoyed we will circle back next week but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson