Don't Blame Me! - Pity Wedding Party Invitation

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Trigger Warning Writer #3: Sex Offender For But Am I Wrong Melisa: White people shouldn't vacation on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Meghan: Dippin' Dots isn't the ice cream of the future In But Am You Wrong: Asked to be an usher for a wedding All White people Picking up items from an ex Laundry mishap And in But Are They Wrong AKA "Rachel of The Week" they nominate: Melisa: Akon Meghan: Brittany Dawn Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: Vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelissa Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hi megan hello happy new year 2023 the year i've thought it's been for the last four or five months really because I keep thinking like 2023 that's so long away oh no I'm like 2021 didn't exist 2022 three and a half years long 2023 thought you were already here 2020 RIP we can't even talk about that that was just that was a I mean they've been dark and they've been progressively getting lighter but like that was a that was a dark point it was a a really unknown time you know like you just didn't know what was gonna happen you're like and i just like kind of want to go back and like talk to like naive little me who like right before the like quote-unquote lockdown because it's america wasn't like a true lockdown

we were planning for lily's birthday party and it was like we were all gonna go stay at this house and i just remember like someone being like i don't know i don't know maybe this thing is like a real thing and i got my lashes done and then suddenly it was like oh psych it's not happening and then after that it's just a blur whipped coffee banana bread yeah i remember that gross gym that we went to and i said i'm not going because of covid and you're like do you remember this gym i i have an idea in my head which one you're talking me you and shireen went to it and it had different stations yeah and we went to it one time it was disgusting and you're like let's go back and i said no yeah because it has very little points on class pass it's cheap and

you said no you were like if it goes somewhere it's going to be at one of the bougie gyms because you know those people are traveling internationally and i said that's not how disease work can we just talk about like that's like the opposite of people being like once i go to if i go to a nice place like y'all be safe i'm just like don't go to those nice places stay with the we're we're saying domestic yeah you know i just like looking back on all of it like i don't want to call like you're you're you're a hypochondriac but you're also just very germ aware like and that's not a bad thing yeah i was thinking about this because like today i posted something about people wearing shoes indoors and i was thinking am i a germaphobe or am i just hyper aware of

science i mean i think both could be true at the same time like i don't think you're a hypochondriac like i think you're like i'm in i'm a realist when it comes to like i don't make up things that are wrong with me that's what a hypochondriac yeah no no that's not what i'm thinking of yeah so i don't think that you have in a rational fear of germs i think you have a rational fear because you have more education around them. And will I say that on in other prior to this? Was it kind of just like a little bit of a buzzkill? Yeah. Would I ever not listen to you again? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like it. Oh, my God. Like just just the you being like, no, well, that's going to be like this is going to be like this. But I was just kind of like,

I don't like that. So I'm just going to pretend that it's not that. And then finally, you were like so it is that and i was like okay i apologize and i will not be doing that there was a video that we recorded and it never got posted of us talking about it and you were just so lackadaisy and i was like no we gotta get our shit together and i want to i need to find that video because i just want to watch i think it's deleted but i just want to watch it too it was me and the guest to see the different no it was just me and you we were going to do it as a uh it was just going to be something that we're going to post on instagram and we were just sitting on the couch talking it was like five minutes long and i just watched it we just come back from one of our

bathroom trips and i just thoroughly washed my hand and you were like joking about touching me and i was like i'm okay because like we just washed our hands so yeah yeah no it's bad because i think the lockdown was the next week so then we're like no we're not pushing this yeah no but like i have to say that like i love her manager to death she's a hypochondriac she is a hypochondriac so when the only two people in my life who are like really talking about this thing also to be fair i don't have that many people in my life so like it's the overwhelming majority is just the hypochondriac was kind of discrediting and i was just like but i remember she was telling me she was like oh my god this this this and this and i was like okay and she was she was being very

extra and then you were saying something and like it was like this little part of my brain that went well you know there's there might there's a little that makes me so i can guess some things and i was like no i don't like that so you know i'm glad though that i was able to recognize as soon as shit hit the fan like yeah yeah okay as opposed to those idiots who just like doubled down in that where it's like i don't know anything like i'm uneducated about this and i was blissfully ignorant and when i could no longer be blissfully ignorant i wasn't going to be like intentionally willfully ignorant yeah as soon as you realize that how bad it was going to be it was like nope we're not absolutely not seeing each other and i was already there

oh this was oh fat no fat fucking no so um wow oh oh what a journey it's been yeah you should watch the video so you can see me with my cute little mittens aha anyways happy 2023 everyone and this is not our first episode of the year but it's our first episode we're recording in the new year so welcome to but am i wrong a podcast with two people who it's kind of hard for me to say i have never been wrong because i just said i like was kind of like yeah covid it's the beginning but you know i've never been wrong this year i have yet to be wrong this year okay i'll take that today is january 3rd don't tell them it's been three whole days of being just constantly right. Well, should we explain what this podcast is? How do we participate in this show? There's

three different segments. We'll explain them before each segment and let's go. First segment up is called, but am I wrong? And that's when we pick things in our lives or hot takes that we have that we may be wrong about. Mine. January 15th is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. And in the U.S., the third Monday in January is a federal holiday that we observe, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and this one is on January 16th, so this upcoming Monday. My hot take is that white people shouldn't treat MLK Day like a long extended vacation weekend, especially if they aren't putting in the work towards civil rights throughout the year. You're not wrong. So I say this as someone who was a kid that was part of the King team that was a leadership organization that

instills the values of Dr. King. And throughout the year, we would not just talk about making our community better, but we would do volunteer work and community service. And most of you know that I grew up in a majority white area. And at the time when I was a kid, we did not get the King holiday off from school. So the adult sector of that organization, which also included a lot of people that worked in education for the school districts, they would write us a note that we had an excused absence and everyone on the King team would essentially boycott going to school because why were we there? But it wasn't a day off. It was a day on. So we'd start out the morning by having like a prayer breakfast with community leaders, followed by doing some community service.

Then we had a march on a major street, which at the time was called College Avenue, but now it's called Martin Luther King Jr. Street. When that was in remembrance of all the civil rights marches, then we have some time to have fun activities because the day is also a day of joy. And then in the evening, we'd have this dressy banquet where community leaders speak and thousands of dollars in scholarships were given out to college students, as well as giving people awards for like being exemplary in the community and continuing Dr. King's dream. because of the work of the King team. Now, everybody in the school districts in Northwest Arkansas get that day off, but it makes me really uneasy to see white people everywhere,

not just in Arkansas, but everywhere. I'm including people in LA. Treat this like it's any other holiday. I've heard several people in LA talking about how they're taking vacation that day. For Black people, I understand we do emotional labor every freaking day

by just existing. so if we need to take a little break go for it but white people what are you actually doing to what are you actually celebrating if you aren't reflecting on the stripes of the civil rights movement and where we are today as a society and how much more we have to go and I'm not just talking about like reposting some Dr. King quote out of connotation like what actual work are you doing? And do you know that Dr. King is more than just the I have a dream speech? I personally believe that Martin Luther King Jr. Day should be officially the National Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service. And this was actually started by former Pennsylvania U.S. Senator

Harris Wofford and John Lewis, RIP, who they co-authored the King Holiday and Service Act And the federal legislation challenges Americans to transform the King holiday into a day of citizen action of volunteering in honor of Dr. King. And so the federal legislation was signed into law by President Bill Clinton on in August of 1994. And since 1996, Wofford and Tom Berenstain have been like continuing to do this. But like, why isn't everyone doing this everywhere? And also, like, you just came back from winter holiday break anyway. What do you need a vacation from? Seriously. the celebratory part as a white person i'm like so what what are we celebrating right like

what like what yeah like didn't you go up like going to like a black church on that day yeah that was the first time i went to church in my life and i said dad i love it here i want to come here all the time and he said this is not for you but i'm glad you had a good time i was like this is amazing i think i believe in god and he goes again not for you but i'm happy you had a good time like i think about that all the time but like if i didn't grow up with like the parent that i had my experience and worldview would be like so fucking different but it's just the definition of like you know performative like you don't have to you should be as a white person i'm like we got to get comfortable being uncomfortable but also like you can like look at all the work

that he's done and been like oh wow this is so amazing i'm going to be inspired by he's so many like had so many fucking like pillars of community and service and things that like spanned all different things and it's like oh okay how can i even if it's not you want to volunteer in something that's like very specific but like how can i be inspired by this and then do something whether it's you know volunteering whether it's a community outreach whether it's like just doing anything reflective that's not painful like that's also still like a good like a nice experience and it's just odd and it's always it will always be odd to me too how the misquotes especially on martin luther king day where she goes are you gonna add the next sentence there

because the next sentence there is like what's really important and um you're just cherry picking these sort of things. Moral of the story, you're not wrong at all. Okay. I have a hot take and my hot take is Dippin' Dots are not ice cream of the future. And that's because it's the future. I have been a consumer, a fan, a viewer, a spectator of Dippin' Dots since they came on the scene however many years ago. Futuristic little ice cream balls. The astronauts eat them. Yeah. So me as an eight-year-old, I'm literally and figuratively eating that shit up. And I also bought into the marketing ploy that it's ice cream of the future. And here I am, 20-something odd years later, looking around. We've got Teslas. Jeff Bezos is going to the moon wearing a cowboy

hat, which I will never get that image out of my head. And we also, we've got electric cars that you plug in and you charge. We have private jets, not personally, that you fly to get from place to place. We have a wireless AirPod headphones. I can airdrop from my phone to my computer. I can order groceries on my phone and have them delivered. But you know what's not getting delivered in my grocery order? Dippin' Dots, because they're not the ice cream of the future. They're the fucking ice cream of six flags. And I feel lied to. I feel manipulated and I feel rejected because I'm kind of here for Dippin' Dots ice cream of the future. And I think if Dippin' Dots had more money, which I definitely don't think they do, I think that they should

get rid of all other ice cream just for like a week or a day and just replace it all as like a giant april fool's prank where you want to get ice cream and it's just dip and dots and we just gaslight everybody right now this is this is ice cream like this is the ice cream the future like we actually like the calendar year of the future began today and so therefore this is the only thing that's going to be served is it the worst marketing ploy ever or is it the best i am a big fan of dip and dots so much that i made a little jingle to it that went dip and dots the ice cream of the future dipping dots the ice cream of the future big fan okay whitney um thank you and i like how they feel on my mouth in my mouth i like the little dots but do they still say that

they're the ice cream of the future hold up that's a good point let's fucking see wait we're gonna have to go through the the flavors after this okay there's also like i just have to say like if anybody wants hard to find nostalgia move to los angeles because los angeles like will not let those things die like you can get dip and dots here i want you to look at the recipes and i want on the dip and dots no the dip and dots website has a recipe tab and i want you to look at it hold up before we get there i just need you know i looked up dip and dots ice cream and i'm suddenly on a website that says get yoked.com and i need to get this link show me the link oh my god this is not real is this real they made dip and dots protein like

seriously powder protein send it to me please your your digestion can't do that i know i just want to see it okay so now i'm supposed to go dip and dots and then look at the recipes you said melissa this looks like a bad fucking twilight book club dessert everybody just know that is a new year's eve mocktail and this was definitely taken on a like point and shoot digital camera we've just upped the the sharpness there is no filter there's no coloring on this and it is sparkling red grape juice and then half a cup of vanilla dip and dots which i'm not gonna lie to you that sounds fucking don't lie that says that says that sounds bad that does not sound bad it does sound awful grapes and vanilla ice cream disgusting okay well i don't like grape juice

but i would if i pictured it like apple like sparkling apple cider then that's like apple pie yeah yeah that could be good gingerbread trifle it's just layers of different dip and dots the frozen hot chocolate looks delicious yeah okay wait now now it's just saying the original and unbeatable flash frozen ice cream sensation your taste yeah i don't think it's i don't think they call it the ice cream of the future anymore i think the future is now for them yeah the future is now and they're like we gotta drop it it didn't happen and like you know what we tried to manifest it and it didn't work also it was invented in 1980s so like they really hung on to that future thing for like a fucking while because i wasn't born until the 90s and i wasn't having dip and

dots until probably the late 90s usually probably early 2000s shut the fuck up hold up melissa you can't even store this in a home freezer it has to be stored you have to have the dip and dots freezer wait that's so funny wow so i also think that their mascot i think is supposed to be big foot and it's pretty cute but it is a little alarming and i just again i don't know if is it bigfoot or a yeti so are those different i think so because i think bigfoot is usually like four stuff and then like or the abominable snowman that's what i mean so all three of those things are not the same thing i think yeti and abominable snowman may be the same but bigfoot is different are are yetis real no okay yeah bigfoot and the yeti slash abominable snowman are not the same

but the abominable snowman and yeti are the same okay one one is like the cold water the cold version once the warm version one he's wearing a summer hat one he's bundled up aka he just grew some fur it's just it's just hard for me to follow the lore of all of these giant mystical huge furry beings living in the forest that none of them are real but the fact that there are separate lores and myths of these different ones bigfoot and sasquatch are the same yeti and abominable snowman are the same that makes sense i kind of i kind of want to get because they have the franchise information and i kind of want to get just one of the little freezers and so is that gonna be our next like it's franchise it we're gonna franchise

because they have different ones you can get like an actual storefront you can get a food truck or you can get the little freezer or you can just like have it for catering or fundraising maybe we should add it to our future food truck with yeah corn dogs and turkey legs and dipping dots We're getting the underrepresented Fair foods Well I just want you to know That if we want to go We can go to Westfield and Santa Anita

We can go to West Covina West Covina California Or we could also go to Ontario Mills Mall Shout out Riverside baby It's a great time Maybe that's why I have

Such passionate feelings as someone who Frequented Ontario Mall the mall right here in Fayetteville has it that's where I first had them what's your favorite flavor I like chocolate and cookies and cream like that's my favorite flavor across the board anywhere and then if they had nuts you know throw on some nuts in there I was a chocolate or I sometimes do half chocolate half strawberry which I liked or if I was feeling wild or if I was with someone who I knew wasn't going to finish theirs and I could we could swap I would do banana split but I can't do too much banana split but it's like fun it's like a crazy experience do you like putting the balls

in your mouth and letting them melt or do you smash them down and then eat them or do you put in your mouth and then smash it with your tongue I think I probably did a combination I don't remember what it was exactly but like I'm not gonna just like completely eradicate the ball experience like I'm gonna let I'm gonna let those balls be in my mouth for a bit I'm gonna enjoy the balls in my mouth I'm gonna roll those balls around my mouth and then I'm gonna eat them so I'm sure I like, you know, I toyed around with different techniques with said balls, but I wasn't just trying to like shorten that beautiful experience. Yeah. See, I like the first couple spoonfuls, just the balls, but then you can't really, really taste it when you just do it. So then I smash it, the rest of it. But I like the consistency when it's smashed, too. So consistently like like none other.

it's an experience too like it's like it's a sensation it's a i don't remember the word i'm thinking of but like it's performance art it is a hands-on flavor explosion experience and i just don't know why guy fieri has not like frankly gotten it on this i feel like it fits with his brand flavor town yeah anyways so well i mean they did drop the ice cream of the future it's not listed anywhere on their website so you weren't wrong because it's really not that i didn't overtake like there weren't a lot of i have seen copycats but i haven't seen enough for it to be considered the ice cream of the future i don't think it's influencing anyone no but i love it it's more of a novelty yes yes yes yes no one's like dipping dots is like where i want to go for

my ice cream unless it's just there no because it's not about the ice cream it's about the experience experience yeah i would love to have some astronauts weigh in like but also like that this could be another one but that astronaut that freeze-dried astronaut ice cream that like you can go to when you go to the nasa place or i thought it was like i thought dip and dots was like the official nasa sponsor no there's a free dried ice cream that they make you believe it's what because that would you can't take that into space you know i always thought it was so messy but i was like i guess that's what they do but then they have these freeze-dried ice creams that they when you go to the nasa center center and then they sell it at some fairs and stuff and they say that

this is what astronauts eat and they're like we don't actually take eat that either it's all a scam if you want just like an ice cream flavor of something it actually tastes pretty good but it's not cold or it's kind of creamy because it melts in your mouth respect to the astronauts and respect to the hustle and the perseverance of dip and dots like i appreciate you for not giving up on your dreams and evolving i do think you could evolve a little bit more but we are ready to talk about franchise options contact us contact link goodbye all right let's take a break and we're back from our break and right now it's time for but are you wrong and that's when y'all write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com to tell us about situations in your life that you might be

the villain in and we vote but the best part is which we forgot to mention at the beginning of the show is that y'all get to vote on everything that we discuss on our instagram at megan and melissa something when they go up who knows check the link yeah check the link but write into but am i wrong pod at gmail.com keep it to 300 words or less if it's not you will get an email back that says tighten this shit up if you would like to include pronouns do always include ages and always include specific examples give us give us a tea give us the drama that's what that's why we made a podcast gossiping about other people's lives like you gotta give us the fucking gossip writer number one so i'm 26 and use she her pronouns two good friends of mine are getting

married renee 30 she her and frank 28 he him we were in the same theater department in undergrad so i've been friends with them both for about eight years now i was at dinner with frank and other friend of ours and the wedding was brought up and he asked me to be an usher he then start telling me that the other usher is someone he has been family friends with since childhood, Mark Keham. Frank felt bad that he didn't ask Mark to be a groomsman, so they came up with the idea to add ushers to include him. When thinking about who to add as the second usher, they thought of me. I don't know too much about weddings, so I don't really know what an usher does in the context, but I am happy to help out, so I said yes. Also recently, Renee mentioned unprompted that she

didn't ask me to be in the party because she didn't know if I'd be uncomfortable with the rest of the group, which is an odd reason since I'm varying levels of friends with the three of them. I honestly didn't even expect to be in either wedding party, and they aren't doing anything huge or extravagant, so I wasn't upset when I wasn't asked. With the backstory of adding Mark basically out of pity and Renee's comment, I can't help but think that's the reason they thought of me to do it too am i wrong for thinking that they asked me to be an usher out of pity thanks for your opinion stay cunty in a good way always a good way always a good way i don't think you're wrong for this because they told you that that's what they weird on their end yeah they just

shouldn't have told you that the reasoning behind it they should have just said hey we'd like you to be part because the usher is still technically part of the party like we'd like you to be they're just not part of like depending on if they're using traditional old school words the bridal or the bachelor party but you're part of you're still part of the wedding party so i think it's weird that they told you the reasoning they should have just asked you and that should have just been it this is weird also what the usher does it depends on the wedding it seems like it's not a very big wedding sometimes the ushers are just like there to greet people when they get there and say hey there's the sign in registry whatever the fucking wedding book thing go sign that and then go sit

down and that's maybe in this age an usher will also have all of the guests do film a tiktok on their way in like the usher is the social media manager of the wedding this is just so i'm with you like this is just so odd like I think like wanting to find and give like people in your life you're close to kind of like a special like thing for your wedding to kind of show the whole point of that is to show that you really care about them or it's supposed to be sometimes people do it because like they're like I need some people to help out and it's more about me but you know in in a lot of cases they want to be like I want you to feel like you're not just a guest I want you to know how important you are but then you can't say that it was essentially like oh we were

trying to figure because like i could see it worded in a different way where it's like well you know like we can't we don't want to have too many like people in the wedding in the bridal and groom party again if you're using those terms because they only have like like partner only has three and i can't add more to mine and like it would just make everything unbalanced there's not really enough room to stand up there so we're trying to find other things that have significance emotional there for us to like let the other people in our lives who would be up there with us like that is totally fine and an assumed thing when i think people are giving all these other kind of just titles that aren't necessarily like oh i need you to make me a wedding cake like

that are just more you know not ceremonial but like whatever ceremonial i guess like titles that just don't they don't have to mean they're more of an emotional because i've been to weddings where like the ushers really didn't do anything but it was more just to include them into the party i don't know if i've ever been to a wedding with ushers but i could every wedding i've been to could have had ushers and i just didn't really notice like it's yeah kind of a vanity it can be of any wedding party title can be just a vanity title but in order for there to be some vanity there you need to polish it up you need to shine it you need to not make it imply it's a pity not even a uh uh uh implied they specifically said it no i know but they specifically said

it was a pity essentially a pity i invite for the other person and so then therefore they need to scrounge it together to infer that the secondary person would also feel that so not wrong at all hi megan and melissa love you and want to wish you both happy holidays i they them 21 don't know if i'm wrong for this so here i am for context i am poc and my partner she they any is white i'm a sagittarius and they're a scorpio i study ethnic studies so i spend a lot of time analyzing reading theorizing about colonialism imperialism racism etc etc i'm very outspoken and make my opinion pretty known so when things rub me the wrong way best believe i'll say it this has happened a few times where i'll make remarks like white people are so weird or i hate

white people categorically not individually you know and my partner takes it very seriously and gets a little offended. She'll ask me why we're together if I feel that way. Other times people will do say fucked up things. So I'll be like, yeah, that was racist, colonial, imperial, or I'll rant about systemic things. And my partner will respond with, yeah, that's fucked up, but seems hesitant to name how it was fucked up. I think this has to do with her whiteness and privilege. So is this a me problem? Am I wrong for saying that I hate white people and that they're weird? Am I wrong for thinking that she hasn't fully, truly grasped the gravity of the situation I am 98% sure I'm right all the time but sometimes I can be wrong so thank you for

reading and I hope you're both getting some lovely rest of holiday season too no you're not wrong that's like us talking about men like that's what I was exactly gonna say like and you talk about white people and I as a white person like we are fucking weird like white people are weird like the whole thing of like oh white people don't shower they're unclean they don't wash their kids that's a fact is it a weird fact yeah but like it doesn't this whole notion that like your partner needing to feel like they need to separate themselves like that to me is kind of a red flag because if I'm like oh my god fuck Andrew Tate fuck all men and Maz goes whoa whoa whoa I'm like I'm sorry you're acquainting yourself to Andrew Tate like that's what that means or if

you're talking about like oh wow fuck that rapist fuck all men it's like whoa whoa whoa and it's Like again, so I said, I'm talking about a rapist here and obviously the generalization of men who are sexually abusive and you find that personally offensive. Red flag, white flag. So like- Not all white people.

Not all white people. But like, this is just, no. Like this is just like so fucking embarrassing. Like imagine just being like, if like, imagine if you said like, I fucking hate white people And I go, well, what about me? Do you want to cancel the podcast because I'm white?

Like, do you not want to do this anymore? Do you not want to be friends with me? Like, it's just so backwards. And I'm not telling you to like, you know, dump your partner. But that whiteness privilege, like, yeah, that's what's coming into play here. And that's like the depth, the white fragility. But the fact that you're literally an ethnic studies major, and this is like a reoccurring conversation either they're gonna learn or they're not and i think like

i'm not a big fan of ultimatums that i'd be like okay you are becoming one of those weird white people so like can you like get your shit together or like i'm done this is an example of white people being weird have they read white fragility it's not that long take the book read it no like come on like this is just again this is a prime example of white people being weird we are weird we are weird white people i was just about to list a bunch of like weird various weird white people we're good we know all right my turn to read number two hi eminem i'm 26 year old she her pronouns i broke up with my ex-boyfriend 32 year old he him pronouns in december of 2021 we dated for one year and three months oh i should say trigger warning on here for sex offenders we

dated for one year and three months and moved in together after nine months way too fast i know trust me i know we broke up because he hid from me that he had three duis and a conviction for the sexual coercion of a minor so yeah he's a sex offender i found out when he tried to hide a piece of mail from me that came from the state police for him to re-register as a sex offender for the year. I broke up with him as soon as I found out, and we lived together, moved out two weeks after the breakup. Here's the thing. I left behind a couple of items that I would like back. I'm moving out of the town we both live in, and I want two specific items I left behind. My skis and a mirror my parents gave me. It comes from our home country. We immigrated to the U.S.

when i was 13 one of these items is very sentimental and the skis are expensive to replace i don't want to see him again to pick these items up would it be wrong to ask if a friend of mine could swing by and grab them for me so i don't have to see him what would you do thank you love the pods i've been following megan since 2011 hope y'all are doing well wow it's a very long time i'm so sorry i don't think you're wrong for asking a friend but i just need you to make sure that the friend is comfortable going over there and they should know all the information they can't just go in there without knowing anything they need to know all the info yeah like i would without a doubt do this for a friend but like i would ask questions

be like oh okay like was there any violent history like do you think that there's a chance that like he could get physically violent because i'm just gonna bring more people with me and i'm gonna have a friend who's got like got their cell phone out and ready to dial like that's i'm gonna make sure that like i'm protected when i'm doing this and i still even if i didn't even if it was like oh no i don't think he would be violent i'd still go with you know back up and have multiple people there and all that but i don't think it's wrong at all as long as they're informed of like what is happening and if not i've heard from tiktok and reddit that local biker communities love to be able to like help out specifically like women but people who are in situations where they might

potentially be in danger or have been around someone who is like abusive sexually or emotionally or not that that's part of i don't want to say their creed but maybe it's just like a social kind of norm within those groups to be very open and people just like really kind of just reach out cold email cold call cold reach out talk to them and ask if they could help out and they just it's something that like they i guess like do a lot so yeah that could also be helpful and i'm sure there could also be any other like organizations in your area if you i'm sure you could honestly even call like a domestic violence shelter and be like hey so this doesn't fall under this necessarily could you point me in the direction of someone some information on like what's the

safest way for me to obtain some of my possessions like whether you have your own personal advice or you have a connection to a different organization that might be able to like help me out because all that stuff is like so intimately connected and a lot of people in who work in those fields will like know that and then be able to either offer you information or direct you to people who can yeah but fuck that's like oh my gosh that's horrific yeah it really is but that's just i mean i i just you know not that you're blaming yourself at all but it's those kinds of sick people we all think that like we would know but most people are going to know they're being like abused or like you're gonna know you're abuser and so many of those people like live

among us are people's family members that people like had no idea about so not knowing is not like a personal like failure or of ignoring of any sort of like red flags like that's just how our society is is that like it's not hard to blend in right all right you're up dear megan and melissa i need help settling a debate between my boyfriend, 25 he him, and I, 24 she her. We've been together for two and a half years and been living together for one. I am a teacher, so I'm currently at home this week on winter break, relevant because I'm not usually home during the day. Yesterday, I did some of our laundry, and when he got home from work, I was finishing the last load. When I was putting it in the dryer, I noticed that his AirPod Pros were in there too. I felt bad,

and I told him immediately. He wasn't mad, but thinks I should have checked the pockets of his pants before washing them, but I assume that they're ready to go because the pants were in the hamper about to go into the washer. Also, this is the second pair of AirPods that have gone through the washer the first time he was doing the laundry. So I'm wondering if I'm wrong for not checking the pants before washing them. Should I replace the AirPods? Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions. I've got feelings on this. I think that it's like low key. I kind of think it's equal responsibility like i think like if you put something if you don't empty your pockets and you put them in the hamper like 50 50 chance that it's going through and like you

can't blame anyone else but you but if you're doing the laundry and you don't check the pockets i also kind of think that you didn't you didn't all the way do the do the laundry and if that's the case just do your own laundry then like that's something that i will empty matz's pockets if i'm doing his laundry but if i don't want to do that i'm just then i'm not going to wash them and like it's doing a thorough job you can only really do a thorough job when you you were there for every step of the process including like taking the clothes off and like throwing them in there so i think in that case it's not a nice gesture to do someone's laundry if you're not checking the pockets but i also think that if they don't empty their pockets when throwing them in the wash then

they kind of have they don't really have any grounds to be upset that it went through the wash so like it's kind of sticky i agree it's i think yeah it's his fault but it's also your fault because he should have emptied his pockets first but also part of doing laundry is checking pockets because you never know what's actually in your pockets it could be a pin in there that could exploded in the washer like there could be anything you could even you know five find a five dollar bill finders keepers but there's there's just a lot that go laundry is so annoying like it's so annoying that we have to do this um somehow i ended up on laundry tiktok and i saw this girl that like has a bar of specifically formulated soap that she like shreds up and then

cleans her jeans with this brush and i was like you're doing too much and that's that bar is a dollar i know but also to me the jeans look the same like she's like this was washed through and i was like the jeans the same to me but anyway as far as replacing them i go 50 50 on it but again it's still his fault too and i think he's looking for some place to give the blame to because he's already done this before that's what i was gonna say i think 50 50 if he if he hadn't done it before but you're on a teacher salary and unless he's on a less salary than you i don't i think the fact that he's done it before kind of makes it so like no i'm not gonna that's not my responsibility you know to pet like because he could have just as easily done that again the same thing again

yeah but yeah i mean the solution here is like if you're going to take the responsibility of doing someone else's laundry you know you have to do you have to do the full job but if you're going to let someone else do your laundry you have to do your job too so like both equal i think equally at fault but i don't think that you need to offer to pay for it i think if you have the means to pay for half of it like sure but if you don't have the means like i i think it would be like a an overly generous gesture that like you don't have to do all right you're gonna take a break we're back all right now it's time for but are they wrong aka rachel of the week aka

woe to the weak this is where we pick someone in the world that is awful and present them to you all and mine this this this week is deserves all the shame there is mine is Akon the singer I don't know when the last time he let out a song but he was a guest on Joe Budden's podcast and as men with podcasts we know how these things go he said and i'm paraphrasing but most of it's a quote but then i got tired of transcribing it man don't create life man we're gods we're the ones that create life a man right now can create a life without a woman but the woman can't create life without a man man are the kings and divine of this universe women can never compare to the man women don't create life they support the creation of life he kept going on and on but that's where

i stopped it does he can't have a womb that's where i was getting at scientifically i mean he's talking about cisgender people so we're going to talk about biology biologically people that have uteruses all we need is sperm like and then that's it where is he going to grow a baby you need an incubator buddy he's i mean he did say i could put put my sperm in an incubator but you're still gonna have to get the eggs from somewhere and you need an incubator and eggs we just need sperm so who who is really who really needs who did akon unintentionally say fuck gender roles and fuck the binary because like so okay yeah like for sure but just i mean like did he watch kyle xy like where is this coming from like does he think he has like

a you need he will have a vat of amniotic fluid like i just this is like a sex that has failed again yes yes yeah so acon got locked up they won't let me out there's just a lot of things about this man that i just don't want to know and this is what he disappeared for a while but for some reason he's back i don't know if he's promoting anything but i'm not buying what he's selling i'm just like a con he also like used his brother and cousin to when he was booked for live events and would just send them because they look exactly like him so like yes smarter not harder but still you're he's been scamming people for years and they just lip sync his songs oh my god It's not even just appearances.

It's like, Melissa. No, actual performances. Well, here's the thing. Akon, like, that's actually sad that you're not famous enough that people, like, wouldn't, like, really know the difference. And they do. I will say they look exactly alike. But still, I'll send you a picture. Fake fans.

They're not even. Wow. You know what I need? I need someone to do this desperately. I need someone to do a Netflix special that is sex education. for ti and akon like i just need a bit i need z way to bring these men on her show and like she did crt with those parents like i need her to do sex education because like huh like what like like yeah i'm here for like you know being inclusive in our terminology but i don't think

that's what you meant and i think you're just really confused do you know where babies come from like i feel like he thinks that like you poop out a baby i'm waiting for him to say something about a stork i just don't don't understand yeah you'd think for these men who like are all about like spreading their seed and like furthering their line and all of that shit like you'd think they know they publicly hate women a little bit less when you know you need someone with a uterus to carry this and or you you you do a quick little google search before you just talk like that there was a point where he disappeared and the reason why he disappeared was he said it was because you know he had enough money and then he went to africa and was providing like electricity

for all these countries there and i was like okay cool like take your money do what you need to do and then he pops back up with all this nonsense and i'm like go back go do your electricity like come on we don't need this you suddenly decided that this is more important honestly sometimes men make themselves such easy targets for ridicule yeah i don't know if maybe they don't know we have they have google as well or do you think the alpha male means that like oh google is programmed in my mind like i don't need to google shit like i just know it innately because testosterone exactly that's exactly what they do it's really wise as someone with a uterus i hope one day i can have someone with a penis carry my child right wow okay okay well your turn so i would

like to nominate someone who i could have nominated her she stays busy she stays busy she stays controversial she works she takes no days off on being an ultimate piece of shit britney dawn so no clue who this is i've known her name and i knew her face she looks also a lot like that girl who like filmed her kid crying when their dog like almost died or i think the dog ended up dying and I was like pose for a thumbnail and it's like wait no look more sad like oh so they look the same it's a fine mix-up to make because you know they're both they're both shitty but Brittany Dawn has been an influencer creator for a very long time and I wouldn't say that like she's controversial for clout or attention in the same way that like Trisha

Paytas and like Tana Mongeau are like I would say both Trisha and Tana have had controversies that are accidentally problematic and then ones that are intentionally problematic crafted for attention this this woman is just living her life and she just also happens to be a horrible fucking person okay so i'm gonna start with i think it's like 2019 ish just to give you a little bit of context and background on her and why people really don't like her and how these have all been public controversies so like this isn't like her personal life before she like had social media notoriety. It's important to note how easy it is to find that this person has done all these things. So the state of Texas sued her. And this is the first time I really heard about

her because she started like a fitness consulting business where she claimed to be a specialist in eating disorder recovery and called herself like an ED warrior as well and saying that she was helping people with eating disorders with her specialized diet and exercise plan. And the Texas attorney general suing her, accusing her of misleading customers with eating disorders and promising customized nutrition and fitness plans while pretty much giving everyone the exact same plan. The fees are like almost as high as $300 a person. And she said it was all personalized, not personalized, and also said there'd be like regular check-ins and individualized feedback, which also, again, never happened. Also, she charged shipping fees when all of the documents

and all of the content that you get is digital which is just what a bull's face piece of shit scam so then she eventually apologized for fans and then offered refunds to the customers but required that in order to get a refund that they would have to sign a non-disclosure and then when people like lost it she was like okay never mind so weeks after that and so she'd been like fitness wellness mostly fitness like space prior to this but a couple weeks after all that shit came out attorney general she announced in a youtube video that she was going to pivot from health and wellness contents content and instead said that she felt her quote-unquote identity in christ and her social media profiles change to focus solely on christian

content and when we're talking about christian content we are talking about problematic white Christian content. So, you know, the faux, quote unquote, like relatable sort of things like that kind of format, like the Lele Pons, like, you know, Facebook video. But for white Christians who probably also subscribe to QAnon theories, like that's the genre. So she also runs a women's retreat where she and her husband baptize women in bathtubs, cost about $2,000. She also celebrated publicly over and over again when roe v wade was overturned these are some other random just to give you more context on her she starved and neglected a whole horse not that it's okay regardless of the size of your animal but like a horse is not a pet that's an expensive thing and

not everybody owns a horse and that's like a huh like okay one of her pets also routinely like just disappear one of her dogs quote-unquote escaped in their backyard and was injured so her husband, who is, I think, was law enforcement at the time, but he might have already been ex-law enforcement at the time, just shot the dog. And again, we know this. Like, it's not because TMZ followed around. Like, this is the stuff that she shares about her life, which takes us one step closer to the current grift. Throughout 2021, she documented her efforts in helping a homeless man named James. So she said that he had visited a church to donate the only money he had left, which to sign it as a goodwill. And she was so motivated by this gesture that she and her husband were

like, oh, you know what? We have to take him in. This is a sign from God. And they gave him food and shelter, a place to stay, clothes, all while convincing him to join their specific church. And then in December of this year, which is how I saw this TikTok, Harriet Berholtz, aka leave it to Harriet on TikTok, basically talked about how at this time, Brittany Dawn started a GoFundMe fundraiser for this man, James, back in 2021, to raise money to receive treatment for his addiction at a rehab facility. The campaign raised more than $25,000. But the facility that he was sent to is free. It's a Christian free rehab center. There were no medical experts on staff, and it's claimed that the subjects, it's inpatients to, quote unquote, forced labor as a way through working through substance withdrawals.

So, and then apparently, after James had completed this program, Brittany cut all ties with him and no contact. So this is, I think, from an interview that he did where he is revealing this information. And then to add icing onto the cake, suspiciously, only a couple months later, she had an incredibly lavish and expensive wedding. And some might say it seems that some of that money might have come from there. So this takes us to today. She's been very open with her fertility struggles, and she shared that she had a chemical miscarriage in April. And then in July, she talked about how she decided that she wanted to foster. and then in October she also had another miscarriage and I just want to say large disclaimer

I'm never going to accuse anybody of like lying about this and I've seen some people are like oh she was probably lying about this you know bad people have miscarriages good people have miscarriages fertility struggles and trauma is very real regardless if you're a good or a bad person if you're a bad person and you have suffered multiple miscarriages and have fertility trauma it's going to make you an even worse person like that's going to fuck you up even more and that's not something that i garner it sounds fucked up i don't garner sympathy for people who are already shitty people who then weaponize their circumstance to double down on being really fucking shitty as an excuse like it's there are lots of people who are not able to have children

who don't do these things so she announced that she's fostering people have a lot of valid criticisms to the fostering agency basically saying that like there's no fucking way they did the due diligence and let her and her husband foster a baby so here's where we get to her husband her husband is a former kansas city missouri police officer who was sued by the aclu for using excessive force against a black man in 2013 so she responded to someone's comment on instagram about this saying my background shot came back perfect thank you i'd be cautious believing everything you see about someone on the internet a gossip forum and especially manipulative news stories news stories you know because you know him getting fired like manipulate

for sure for sure for sure also i don't think he was even fired i think he got a severance package and was like gracefully let go as they do and the aclu just you know those grifting aclu you know they just took time out of their every day because they have so much you know targeted attacks no they've got so much fucking free time and people just have just said how she's been conducting herself as a foster parent like she's filming but like you know cutting out the foster child which yes is what you're supposed to do but she also apparently like posted a photo with the family And I think she only blurred the kid's face, which is not OK. Some might let you do that, but it's like morally not.

It's a very gray area. And like, I mean, morally, it's a very black and white area. And legally, it's more of a gray area, but it's not like, oh, yeah, this is for sure allowed and people are OK with it. She also is posting all these like affiliate links for like the baby stuff that she has. She posted a video like crying about like, oh, like when you're ready to be a mom and like you're going to have to like give the baby back. And it's like, well, yeah, it's not your baby. like fostering the point of the goal of fostering is the ultimate goal is reunification when safe and able like or placing a child eventually then in family like it's having a foster child going

to a random person like if you're doing this like oh like i'm just like testing out these babies and like shopping for which one i'm going to adopt like that's not what fucking fostering is she also has included personal details about the uh infant on tiktok including that um they're suffering from substance abuse withdrawals so or i guess substance withdrawals yeah so the theory on reddit is that she went through a anti-choice organization that has pressured a parent to give birth and that they will take care of the baby because as much as like cps has a lot of issues and you know they don't catch sometimes they focus on the wrong things and they don't catch the right things and severely underfunded and like it's just no one has like a amazing

perfect experience with cps even people who work there so sure it could have slipped through the radar but like it didn't like this is there's no way that this was through a any sort of legitimate non-denominational organization because like like this is you google her and this is the first thing that comes up so feels also very intentional that uh the implication is that the child's birth mother is dealing with addiction and therefore is going to go to someone who has definitely not had a background check or was thoroughly vetted for this because they're maybe not thinking that that birth mother is going to check in and stay on top of all of this like this is just so this screams alternate uh organization with shitty and really sketchy intentions

okay that's it we hope you enjoyed the episode write in for our segment also don't forget to vote on our instagram i am pretty committed after this week this week that you're listening to this episode i'm committed to this is officially my new year this new year new me no i'm just like i'm taking i'm thinking this is going to be the week that everything's on time and i'm going to be done recovering from my 24 hour I don't even know if I'll be ready yet I think it won't be if you're not ready I won't be ready until you're ready but I'm still not I'm not back in LA yet so I oh yeah so we actually we've got a couple more days so just know that by the time that this episode comes out this week I'll be back okay everybody I don't get to back till Saturday so

then i still need like a week to settle in when i get back and you know i was sick before i left so i didn't get to do all my like deep cleaning and stuff like my house is in a rain like it's messed up so i did enough to clean the kitchen because you can't leave kitchen stuff but yeah it's just gonna be a minute for me to just get settled back in well let me know whenever you're settled back in because i'm just gonna wait until you're ready for because like why would i get ready if you're not ready yet like yeah why do i need to rush into things i don't want to be hasty yeah okay shall we circle back next week let's circle back circle back bye but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa demonts plus diamond

imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson